Fine Dining - Long John Silver's: Toy Lawsuits, Abandoned by Yum!, and the Worst Restaurant Meal in America

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

🐟🏴‍☠️🍟 Long John Silver's: Toy Lawsuits, Abandoned by Yum!, and the Worst Restaurant Meal in America 🍟🏴‍☠️🐟 This week I'm joined by my cousin Emma Danger for her fourth appearance on the show as we dive into the history of Long John Silver's. From its time sailing under the Yum! Brands flag alongside KFC and Taco Bell to its rocky financial voyages through bankruptcy, the chain has had quite the adventure. We also grapple with the heartbreaking reality that the Captain's Bell is off-limits unless the crew actually earned it, and explore how a seafood chain wound up entangled in movie tie-ins, pirate holidays, and one of the menu items crowned "Worst Restaurant Meal in America." 🏴‍☠️ From Kentucky Fried Chicken's Corporate Family to Going Solo 💸 Bankruptcy, Buyouts, and Rough Seas for the Brand 🔔 The Captain's Bell We Desperately Wanted to Ring 🎬 Promotional Film Tie-Ins and the Lost in Space Toy Lawsuit 🦜 Talk Like a Pirate Day and the Chain's Nautical Identity 🍽️ The Big Catch Platter Named the Worst Restaurant Meal in America 🍜 Emma Pitches a Dream Restaurant With… Questionable Logistics 📚 A Yelper Expands the Lore of the Long John Silver's Literary Universe 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Have you ever rung the Captain's Bell at a Long John Silver's? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, extended Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/channel/UCLbraNhL6KhDPkdSWt2yiuw 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: Emma Danger Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, Aaron Hubbard, Steff, Robert McLaughlin, Jewell Hermann, Renae Michael 👉 NEXT WEEK: We actually eat Long John Silver's and see if the seafood shack can survive The Chili's Test.

How has Long John Silver's stayed afloat despite sailing extremely tempestuous seas? The leading name in fast seafood chains, Long John Silver's has hit many lows, from bankruptcy and being labeled the worst restaurant meal in America, to a lawsuit over not paying for their kids' meal toys. Long John Silver's was also briefly a part of the Yum Brands Fast Food Empire, and despite being sold off in 2011, there are still 179 Long John Silver's restaurants that share. a space as a hybrid restaurant with a KFC, Taco Bell, or A&W. And despite the chain being named after a famous pirate, a baseball stadium in Louisville, Kentucky is actually named after the Long John Silver's founder and president, because apparently

a $5 million donation absolves you for the blight you've unleashed upon our digestive tracks. This week on the show, I'll deep fry my knowledge and your batter of curiosity so that you too may know everything I've learned about Long John Silvers. Then we'll direct our attention to the people of Yelp to see what they're saying about the very Long John Silver's we dined at. Stay tuned. This is the fine dining podcast. Your table's ready.

Take your seat. The flavor of the day is mediocrity to try a bar. You said something about it being like the leading seafood chain. It's the only seafood chain that I've ever heard of, I think. It's very prominent. but there are some other fast food seafood chains in other parts of the country. There's one called Captain D's that has probably, like it has several hundred locations. Wow.

I know that there was one in either Knoxville or Nashville. I think they're kind of from that part of the country that I was looking into going to at one point. Yeah, let me just pop over there all quick. I didn't. I had to go to Bakersfield. I had a friend that is true. Anyways, hello and welcome to the fine dining podcast, the quest to compare all restaurants to Chili's. I am your host, Michael Ornellis, and in this podcast, we learn the history of our favorite restaurant chains one week before seeing how they compare to Chili's in week two.

This week on the show, I'll be teaching y'all the history of the Long John Silver's brand, and joining me, with all hands on deck is a teenage Thespian prodigy. She's a branch on the other side of my family tree, as she's my second cousin once removed. She's now a fine dining four-timer and is just one of my favorite people in the world. It's Emma Helena because that's what you want me to call you, not Emma Danger. You can call me Emma Danger.

I'm flattered. You're flattered. I had a feeling you believe in Flat Earth. You believe Antarctica is like a wall around the whole world. Oh, yeah. What is this? Stranger Things. Oh, first reference. First reference. Yeah. Yeah, let's talk about it now.

Right now? I binged Stranger Things just because you were coming to visit and the finale episode was coming out during this visit. Yeah. And so I watched. And I was not going to miss that. Three seasons worth of the show because I last watched season two forever ago. And I liked the ending. That was very unenthusiastic.

Look, compared to some of the other things along the way, I really liked the ending. That's good. That's good. There are a lot of mixed opinions about season five. So I appreciate you saying that. Yeah. As though you made it. Yes, I did.

This is your word. I'm a secret duffer brother. That's me. Yeah. So normally right now I ask people if they have a history with the chain that we went to. Never heard of it. You'd never heard of Long John Silver's. That's why I say I've never heard of any other seafood brand because that's when I've ever heard.

Okay. I didn't even know that this was like your introduction to the idea of Long John Silver's. Yeah. I've never heard of it. I don't think they have it. where I live at all. There's like 13 or so in California, but like California is a huge state. Not to insult you, but I'm not a nerd and I don't research chain restaurants in my free time.

Anyways, my history with Long John Silver's is that I think I've been once in my childhood and was too afraid to eat it because it was fish. Why would you do that? So I think I just had hush puppies and at the time as a child thought they were fine. So I don't I don't really have a deep history I don't have a bias towards or against this place. I do think I had maybe in my mind an idea that they were lower quality. Obviously. Before going. We've now experienced it.

We know and we'll talk about it all next week. But like even going in fast food doesn't inherently mean low quality. Oftentimes it like it's lower grade meat. Yeah. But it's kind of a deeper level. So did it exceed your expectations or did it? No, it fell into my low expectations. Okay.

Okay, good. Yeah. So that's my history. That's your history. Do you want to hear the history of the Long John Silver's chain? I don't think I have an option to say no. So, so yeah. Just be enthusiastic about the concept of the podcast.

I am. I really am. Thank you for having me. All right. We're going to jump into this week's eat deets. Eatery Details. Long John Silver's was launched in 1969 in Lexington, Kentucky by entrepreneur Jim Patterson. It evolved out of the Jerry Coe Inc. Restaurant Group, which originally boasted a White Castle knockoff called White Tavern and a roast beef sandwich stand named Jerry's, aiming to bring quick-service seafood to the heartland. All Jerry's restaurants were sold to become Denny's restaurants, so Jerry Co. could put all its focus on Long John's.

Silver's. I'm glad that they sold it to Denny's because then they don't have that Denny's doesn't get a bad name. Something's. What do you mean? Like, didn't they sell it to Denny? Well, Jerry Co. sold Jerry's restaurants just the building spaces to become Denny's so that they could put all their eggs in the Long John Silver's basket because they were like, this is a winning proposition. That they lost on that. You know, success and quality are two different things. the Big Bang theory is successful. Young Sheldon, that's quality. The Long John Silver's brand name was inspired by the pirate Long John Silver from Treasure Island.

No real John Silver was involved in the restaurant founding, and early founders even considered other maritime names like Lymies and Barnacle Bills before sticking with this literary reference. They should have just said Captain Jack Sparrow. They should have made it into Pirates of Caribbean theme. restaurant and I think it would have gone. In 1969? Yes. Or Pirates of the Caribbean should have been long John Silver's and they should have collabed and I think both franchises would have been successful.

You want a monopolization of being a pirate. I only want to learn one pirate. I only want one. And like the pirate themed restaurants, I just want just one centered pirate. I'm joking. You and I went to a pirate themed restaurant. When I was mute. When you were mute, you were a child who did not talk.

Oh, the turntables. Yep. I originally thought it was medieval times that we went to, but no, it was pirates, which is basically there's a big boat in the middle of the arena. It's like middle of old times except with water. Yeah. It's like Casabinita and medieval times like had a child. And there's a lot of like acrobatic stuff. I remember being decently cool, but I was like, why is this child not saying a word?

I think I saw you lean over and whisper something to your mom, my cousin. once. That sounds like something I did. And I was like, oh, okay. Okay, so she knows words. Yeah. Yeah. You're like Newt in aliens.

That's, yeah. My mom used to call me new. Really? Yeah. Okay. I see it. From the outset, Long John Silver's embraced a seafaring theme to match its pirate-inspired name.

Early restaurants featured New England Cape Cod style architecture with blue roofs, square copulas, wood plank interiors, plus decorative lobster pots and ships wheels evoking a dockside vibe. A trademark touch was the captain's bell at the exit. Satisfied customers would ring the bell on their way out if they enjoyed their meal, underscoring the chain's fun nautical identity. I will say I did enjoy the nautical identity. Would you say like evoke pirate side something?

Yeah. I was I was evoked of that peachy, peachy, Cape Coddy thing and then I was quickly not like it. We'll dive a lot deeper into our feelings about the decor next week. But I will say I was so excited at the notion of ringing the bell. I really wanted to and I'm really mad at you that you didn't. I'm really mad that I didn't. It would have betrayed my morals to give them the impression that they were doing better than they were. It's really bad.

Yeah. Sorry, we'll get into that later. Just a little later. The menu has always revolved around fried seafood, notably the signature batter-dipped fish fillets with fries and hush puppies. The chain sells about 6 million pounds of hush puppies each year. Long John Sovers is also known for its fan favorite extras. Diners in the know often request a scoop of extra crumbs or crispies, the crunchy fried batter bits from the friars, as a free side treat.

Six million hush puppies gone to waste. Six million pounds. Pound. of hush puppies. That's worse. That's way worse. That's so many more hush puppies. I feel like half of those hush puppies are in the trash right now.

Well. I know ours were. Any that go into my stomach are also kind of in the trash. That's true. Yeah. I think part of it is there's a novelty to being the only chain that serves a certain item. Like I can't think of other chain restaurants that have hush puppies. There have to be other places that sell hush puppies.

And they're actually. very good. I like their hush puppies there. I just want a good hush puppy. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sad. Have you had hush puppies before yesterday? Like, yeah. Like, yes, but like not. I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to get at right now. Well, let's take time to explore it. Okay, time's up. Damn. Long John Silver's has hooked into pop culture with some memorable tie-ins and gimmicks. In 1995, for it partnered with the film The Little Rascals for a marketing campaign and a few years later, bet big on a 1998 promo for Lost in Space, a gamble that backfired when the company was sued for $3 million for allegedly failing to pay for promotional toys after the movie tie-in flopped.

Yeah, you mentioned something about toys earlier and I was interested in that. As far as my understanding, I read a few articles on this and it was kind of tough to like figure out what the exact point of the lawsuit was. But it sounded like the movie paid to have toys made and provided them to Long John Silver's to sell. And then Long John Silver's at the time was going through a bankruptcy. And they couldn't pay them for the toys that they produced for them to sell. Uh-huh. So it was like they just got a bunch of toys for free.

And the company was like, uh, can't do that. What the heck, you know? Lost in space. What was the other one? The little rascals. The little rascals. The little rascals. The 1994 one.

I love little rascals. You know, it's not Pirates the Caribbean, but I'll take it. And they were on a boat in the tie-in. They did like a commercial where alfalfa was like suggesting procuring some fried fish. Wow, guys. And it was just a commercial basically. Me and my little rascal sure wants some fried fish. And then Lost in Space, if I remember correctly, had Matt LeBlanc from friends in it.

Like they thought he was going to be a big deal. outside of friends. Did he reel it in? I don't know. I was trying to make a joke. Did he reel in the role? Yeah. Probably auditioned for it.

Okay. You said hook earlier? What did you say? I don't know what she said. I have very bad memory. I pepper in some nautical themeing. I never realized that you were making jokes. And then I realized when you said hook and I was like, oh, that's funny.

So I think you'll appreciate that. That sounded so me. I never realized when you're making jokes. Roasted. No, it fried. Ah, I get it because it's... Okay. The brand also leans into its pirate imagery.

Every September 19th on Talk Like a Pirate Day, Long John Silver's restaurants have rewarded customers who speak in pirate lingo or show up in buccaneer attire with free fish or chicken goodies making for a fun annual publicity event. That's my favorite holiday now. Talk like a Pirate Day? Talk like a Pirate Day. I remember my favorite tie-in I've ever seen with Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Do you know the game, the app, Words with Friends? No. So it's basically Scrabble. It was just like an app where you would connect with friends and you play Scrabble with them remotely. I remember they released a spinoff that was like Words with Pirates. And it was just the only letters you could get were A-R-G-H. So you could play and you would just play words And it'd be like har har or arg or ar

It was very stupid but very silly and satisfying to play I would have been really angry if I was playing that I think Why? Just having like this same. Do you hate a good time? What? Do you hate having fun? No, but why is it just arg?

I would get angry. I get angry at the wordles. The pirates. I get really mad at wordles if it's a word that I don't like. I've never lost at wordle. I have literally never got. gotten a word or wrong. I've never. That's not true. I've not done like every day's wordle. I've missed days, but every wordle that I've played, I've succeeded. And like over a thousand. Really? Yeah. I love word games. Why wouldn't you believe that? Why wouldn't you believe that? Do you just refuse to believe that I might be a little smart? Just say yes. I know it's how you feel. Don't lie on this podcast. In the night.

1990s, Long John Silver's parent company, Jerry Co. Inc. underwent a leveraged buyout that burdened the chain with debt. And by 1998, Long John Silver's was forced to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. In 1999, the parent company of A&W restaurants acquired Long John Silver's out of bankruptcy, merging the two into a holding company called Yorkshire Global Restaurants. This move stabilized the company for a time and set the stage for further corporate changes. So does A&W still own Long John Silver's? No, so A&W no longer owns it, but. Oh, no, no wonder they're still like in business.

So many Long John Silver's locations these days are hybrid A&W restaurants. And KFC and Taco Bell, you said earlier, right? KFC and Taco Bell, but that was an entirely different venture. That was a different ownership company. But the restaurants have, yeah. So I'll just jump into the next point because it's literally about that. Long John Silver's became part of the Yum Brands family in 2002 when Yorkshire was acquired by the owner of KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.

Under Yum's umbrella, many Long John Silver's locations were co-branded with sister chains to maximize efficiency. Yum eventually decided to shed its seafood concept, and in 2011, sold Long John Silver's to a new franchisee-led group, LJS Partners, which included members of original founder Jim Patterson's family. An attempt to sell the chain in 2014 fell through, but in November 2020, an investor consortium led by longtime franchisee Bob Jenkins acquired Long John Silver's to spearhead a turnaround, marking the latest chapter in its long history of ownership changes.

So basically, Yorkshire was acquired, that's Long John Silver is an A&W, acquired by Yum Brands, who has Taco Bell, KFC, and Pizza Hut, and now has the habit. Really? Yeah. So those are the four Young Brands restaurants. They acquired them. And so it was, I get- So they're playing hot potato with Long John Silverers, because

nobody wants long time. I mean, kind of. And so what they ended up selling it to was essentially a bunch of franchisees, owners of Long John Silver's restaurants, banded together and bought the company like IP, essentially. Okay. So with being under the same umbrella as KFC and Taco Bell, they opened hybrid restaurants that were Long John Silver's KFC, Long John Silver's Taco Bell, and then the Long John Silver's A&W ones still existed.

So you can find any of those four. combinations still whenever you're looking for Long John Silver's restaurants. Yeah. Even though they're not even owned by KFC anymore. So I wonder how like a profit share goes there. These words are scaring me. Like imagine you walk into a restaurant that is a Long John Silver's KFC hybrid. Yeah.

But KFC is owned by one company and Long John Silver's is owned by a different one. That's freaky. Yeah. It's like the MCU, but like the Spider-Man. It's crazy. But like the Spider-Man movies. Yeah. The ones that like weren't.

That makes sense. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, that's an incomplete thought. We can move on. Great. Yeah. The chain has not escaped controversy, particularly around health and nutrition. In 2013, the Center for Science and the Public Interest labeled Long John Silver's Big Catch Platter, the worst restaurant meal in America.

Why did we go there? What do you mean? Why? It's a chain restaurant. I'm covering all chain restaurants. That's so scary. You're not going to die. That is so scary.

Well, you will eventually, but. Not from it. I don't believe you. I think this is, this is. You're on a slow decline. But I had 1,320 calories, 33 grams of trans fats, 19 grams of saturated fat, and 3,700 milligrams of sodium. The report generated nationwide negative press.

In response, LJS reformulated its cooking methods, eliminating trans fats entirely by 2014, and promoting healthier options like baked or grilled seafood. Despite these changes, the brand's reputation remains closely tied to indulgent fried fare, a draw for fans, and a frequent target for critics. That was just so scary. All those saturated, like, that's like insane. Yeah, it's a lot. And I mean, and it doesn't taste any better than what you just described. Well, and so that is the thing that kind of bugs me is you would assume that doing all of that is to add flavor.

Yeah. If you're eating unhealthy, you want it to be delicious. And in the case of Long John servers, it really was not. There are places that are super unhealthy that I'll go eat because I'm like, it's so good. Like, I love the bloomin onion at Outback. I love the Italian beef sandwich at Portillo's. I love a lot of fast food burgers, stuff like that. And I know they're bad for me.

And I know you see the calorie counts and you're just like, well, you know, when in Rome, you know, I'm having this. Might as well. But I know it's going to be good. So to me, it's worth it. This was not worth it. And so that's what's insulting about a place like this. If you gave me the old nutritional facts and you said it was from today, I would have believed you. It tasted unhealthy.

It tasted not good. And both of those things were like, well, then why am I eating it? It felt gross. At the end of the day, it didn't feel worth it. No. No. Not at all. I'm sure there's something out there that's super unhealthy that you love and you're like, I think this is worth it.

In-and-out's animal fries. Just like loading it up with sauce. So good. Yeah. I get it with onions and like the caramelized onions on top with like extra spread. And then you like get the fries crispy. You can get them with like beef patty on it. I know.

Yeah. Yeah. So there's always things that'll be worth it. Yeah. It's just disappointing when you when you eat that poorly and feel like it wasn't worth it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get that.

As of 2025, Long John Silver's operates roughly. roughly 500 restaurants worldwide, with the vast majority in the United States and a smaller presence in Asia. The company is focused on modernization, rolling out its updated True North restaurant design with cleaner lines, refreshed decor, and digital drive-through screens. In late 2025, it also unveiled a refreshed logo and brand positioning emphasizing chicken and seafood, highlighting chicken as a long underrated but increasingly central part of its strategy. Under new ownership, the chain has cautiously resumed international expansion, reopening and launching locations in Southeast Asia, including Indonesia, Malaysia, and Thailand, while aiming to hook a new generation of customers with a mix of pirate-themed nostalgia and fried comfort food.

Did we see the new logo? Like, did our... No, usually they... It's a very long rollout to, like, update restaurant interiors and stuff like that. that logo wasn't even their previous logo. Like that was like a couple logos ago was what they had on one way back to. Yeah. Which is so funny because like considering all the cracker barrel drama that just happened with them

with their logo and how Arun like was an outrage and then they changed it back really fast and then nobody noticed that long John Silver's changed. And they're like it's old. I don't know if that's. Well also for the cracker barrel logo they took the barrel off the logo. So it was just kind of like. I've been to crack. Yeah. Yeah, it was for a while the most mediocre until I went to Chili's.

Yeah. So 5.01 out of 10. That's pretty good. Is it? Like in the terms of mediocrity. Sure. That's pretty mediocre for sure. Pretty mediocre.

Pretty mid. And that'll do it. For this week's Eat Dietz. Eat, Emma, I pray that you've found your own pirate's treasure in all of those factoid. Because it's now time for you to share the well. and pitch to me a restaurant concept of your very own. But before we do, we need to make a theme song for this segment that we both sing.

Okay. Give me a style. What style of song do you want us to do? Dare I say musical theater. This is the restaurant of your dreams. It's not what it seems. It's not what it seems. It's where you dine on the restaurant.

Seven Seas. This is the restaurant of your dreams. All right, Brittany. Yeah, I was going for Aion de Grande as Glinda. I'll take it. Emma, I want to know what your brain-rotted teenage mind has stormed up. Brain-wrotted. Don't lie.

When asked to create your very own dream restaurant. Something so good that my mascara would stream down my face alongside my prideful tears of joy if I attended its grand opening. It must be practical, delicious, and memorable. Three, two, one, go. That was so targeted. That entire speech was so targeted about it. Mascarer running down your face.

Put in the photo. Put in the photo. Yeah, I'll put in the photo. We were at the Stranger Things finale in theaters last night. And for 30 minutes, the final actual 30 minutes of length of this movie, your jaw was dropped, your face was soaked. and you just got more and more comedically sad looking. And by the end, just black lines of mascara running down your face.

We need to stop talking about it because I do feel the tears coming back. Like, I think my face hasn't recovered. I woke up this morning and I could like still feel like tears and like my face like your hair was sticking to the moisture. Literally. Yeah. Wait, okay. Back on topic.

Yeah. Look at how much I wrote for like my dream mask. All right. That's actually not that much. Not that I'm looking at it. Let's hear it. Okay. So obviously we just talked.

about this. I'm really into like actiony, like, sci-fi, like stuff. Uh-huh. Like, like shows and stuff. Okay, ready? Picture it. You're in Canada. Don't ask why. Canada just makes sense. Okay. The restaurants in Canada or the theming of the restaurants that were in Canada? No, we're in Canada because it's based off a specific place. Not really. You'll see. And it's like a nice place. Like you take your grandparents here and you're like, You know, mom and pop, like, this is a great nice place.

And, you know, they're pulling chairs for you. And they got, like, fancy tea mugs, like the little teacups and stuff like that. Very fancy. And you're sitting there for a while and you can't find your waiter. And you're, like, trying to flag someone down and trying to get someone to take your order. And you're like, okay, like, I heard this was a good restaurant with a good show. Like, what's going on. And then all of a sudden, you're dazing off into this beautiful stained glass window that's like just, just, it has all these colors and, like, lights flowing through.

Yeah, stained glass. I understand what it is. Right. I'm painting a picture here. And all of a sudden you hear like a weird like zoop and then like crash. Like the window just explodes and there's someone and they're just swinging in like James Bond style and lands. And it's like your waiter. I'm like, oh my God. They just blew through that window and they're that's so awesome. Like how many windows have they gone through today? Like that's so cool. What is the window budget on this place? Incredibly high. Yeah. That's why the prices are reflecting that. Sure. Got to keep replacing stained artist and glass. Da Vinci? Kate, the people, the viewers will know that I'm referencing.

You're just old. Anyways. So they stand. There's glass all over the floor and the cleanup crew is already like coming and sweeping it up. But your waiter like, it's like, oh, like, hello, like, how am I, take your order. And you're like, is that a Canadian accent? No, no, it's just a me being posh. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. The Canadianness of this makes sense. much sense. Keep going. Sorry, I don't know why I said it in Canada. It's not even, Canada. It's not even in like my notes. I just have to say it. You just think Canadians would eat this up. But Americans would not appreciate it. So this is important. It's like Benny Hana style where you're sitting in a circle. Okay. So the entire restaurant, okay, not you're not in tables. I feel like I set that up wrong. But it's just one large circle. You know what I mean? So, so they were pl- I know what a circle. I know what a circle is. is yes. Are you sure? Yeah. So they repel from the same glass window and they land in the middle and everyone's like, oh my God, who is this? And it's like, I'm going to take your order. Okay, we're going back forward. Is he everyone's waiter? Is it one waiter and like a circle of like 35 people? Or like waiting? It's just you guys so far. This is important. You guys are the only people in the restaurant so far. You got there early. Okay. You got there early. So you know, grandma and grandpa, they're ordering. They're ordering their steak filet. They're having a great type of thing. thing. But there's constantly shows. That's why you're going there, right? But you know, you never know what's going to happen. You never know what the theme of the day is going to be, you know? So this. What is the budget on this place? You can change themes every day. Yeah. Okay. So you, you obviously being the person you are with trying to get all of that averaging and all of those different experiences, you are trying, you're going multiple times. Okay. All of a sudden, you hear this agitating, grading voice. And it's 12. like ninjas or like soldiers or like like fighting people and they they jump over the table and they like do their superhero pose you said there's not a table you know like they just we're standing in a circle you're not standing in a circle the tables are in a circle what is in this

room it's it's big it's like a ballroom okay it's like a ballroom it's large uh-huh but the only it's like one big circular it's a table and it's going all the way around like Like Benny Hana. Okay. Do you understand? Okay. So the person, the armed, the soldiers, ninjas, whatever you want to call them, they jump over and your waiter's like, hold on a minute, I need to go do this. And they like, bam, phew.

Again, classic Canadian accent. Yeah. Yeah. So they just start fighting and, you know, they're like, how would you like your steak cooked? Bam, bam. They're fighting each other? Yes. So some waiters are good.

Some waiters are bad? No, there's one waiter right now and a bunch of different soldiers attacking. the waiter because the waiter is James Bond-esque. The waiter is a spy. I just want to order my fillet. So he's taking your order. Can you be patient? Patience is a virtue.

I don't know. He's taking your order. Okay. And he's like, how would you like your steak of bam, bam? Like he's fighting while taking your order, of course, because he's tough. He's not going to remember that I want it medium rare. He'll remember.

There's no way. Picture him like the butler from Clue. That's how I picture him. What's his name? I don't remember. unimportant um so and you're like well like that was so magical and and cool and then all of a sudden the floor just drops in and the waiter is like falling and it's the kitchen obviously duh so you gives the waiter the kitchen you're just watching like you know like wow like what's what's going on

down there the waiter no i mean like what what opens the floor where is their floor if we're all around a table and he's in the middle the okay Okay. Are we around one big table, Benny Hana style? Yes. Okay. That is what I even say. So that would be the middle.

The middle, the middle floor has dropped out. So the middle floor is the table? No. Then where is he? If he's in the middle of us and the table is in the middle of us, he is on the table. Okay. I just want to picture this. Okay.

Can I like draw it or something? No, we don't have time for that. So, okay, picture this room. Okay. The walls. are the table but the inside it's just empty except the walls are like a table and the table goes around like a bar sure there's like a counter there's a counter and the table is behind you

if the wall is and then he's in the middle and he drops he's in the middle where do i set my sprite okay here the table is like an oval but the interior is clear interior of what the table Yes, it is like a circle It is a circle Okay, picture this pot I'm sorry, we're all out of time I'm not even done yet I didn't even get there

But it's like an action-based Having shows And then the celebrities And they all walk in And they surround the table And you go hello, it is me Millie Bobby Brown It's so nice to meet you

I am Millie Bobby Brown Oh, that's the clientele You're bringing to Canada Yes Okay She filmed in Iceland Oh I can't take that It's spoilers

For Stranger Things 5 she goes to Canada in so long now that you couldn't comprehend my table idea now I just can't finish my restaurant They fall in They fall in and they're doing it

And it's like just Just constant action You know Yeah There's an interdimensional portal And things are trying to eat your fillet But it's part of the experience Things are trying to eat my filet

And he's fending them off Yeah Or I get to fend them off Both Can I fight in this restaurant? Yeah sure you might your price might go up you know um fighting fee you know you can't steal other people exactly literally you know yeah so action celebrities good fillets is it all filets their menu is just

fillets yeah basically great allays and celery yeah you do love celery is my celery uh is there anything else about it what's it called i didn't get that far what do you didn't get that far isn't Like the first thing you have to do? I'm trying to think of a witty name, but it's going to, it's just, just, um, bon, bon, bon, bon. Filet, steak, filet. Steak filet. Minion. Minion.

Filet mignon. Filet mignon. That was bad. Yeah. That's right. The table would drop in and you'd fall. Yeah. The table would drop it.

You know, like, what's that one restaurant where they arrest you? And they, I feel like. This is a chain. I feel like it's like Texas Roadhouse. I don't. After a fight? I don't remember this. But it's like it's like a Texas Roadhouse type thing and you're eating.

And then they're like you've been arrested for blah, blah, blah, blah. I mean, Casa Bonita has a sheriff that goes around. Sure. But he's just looking for a villain. But yeah, they put you in the jail. And then that's, I don't know. I didn't think this all the way through, but it's a great concept and you just need to trust. I'm looking for investors.

Sharks, I want 10%. I want. You want. No, I want. you to invest 10% for $100,000 for the stained glass window fees. What about $1 million? The stained glass window fees? You're going through so much stained glass.

And it's like a handcrafted. Like there's like a guy who's just like slaving over. Da Vinci. Okay, you came back from the dead. Yeah. And he's with his one ear. Is that him? That's Van Gogh.

Van Gogh is helping DaVinci with the stained glass window. They're trying a new medium. Great. I wish I had done more with this. Sorry. All right. Throw in two more ideas. It doesn't have enough clearly.

It doesn't. It really doesn't. I feel like I'm not being very creative with this. How is this not creative? This is crazy. But at one point, the doors, you know, you're ordering dessert and your waiter goes and you fall through the floor, except the floor, again, turns into an interdimensional portal. Yeah. And bye, by waiter.

And you don't get your dessert. That also means that you don't get your check. So, hey, free flame and yon. How are you making money? The celebrities that come in. Oh, okay. Yeah. Lots of celebrities.

Thanks for going over all of that with me, Emma. I wish there was more. I really do. I now have a better insight into what you dream about. One last time. This is the restaurant of your dream. So loud. Was it actually?

Let's bring things back to reality and see what other people think about the long John Silver's that we ate at in this week's Yelp from Strangers. Yelp from strangers. We need a little yelp, a little yelp, a little yelp, a little yelp from strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four or by y'i. So get a little yelble. A little yelp from strangers A little yelp, a little yelp.

Give us those complaints while you literally whine at Yelp! All right, this is Yelp from Strangers. Our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite. One, two, three, four, and five.

Star Yelp reviews of the very long John Silvers we went to. I got there eventually. That was great. Thank you. Do you mind if I started off with the first one?

I'm gonna. Three star review. This is a three star review from Rob A from Los Angeles, California. Hello, Rob A. How are you? May 28th, 2024. I'm biased when it comes to Long John Silver's because my tasty buds have memories. My tasty buds.

That's what he said. it's very cutesy yeah oh is he very demure and cutesy I also love the idea of I'm biased when it comes to Long John Silver's and giving it a three star that's not very

like that's like kind of the epitome of not that biased in either direction yeah I'm biased when it comes to Long John Silver's because my tasty buds have memories of a long time ago for that reason they will always get an extra brownie point from me

when they are dumb Right. Extra one. So that means his original rating would have been like a two, which means... I think it's like with nostalgia, this place is better for me. And even then, it's only getting a three. That's really sad. Yeah.

Sorry, keep going. When they are done right, you end up with a familiar satisfying no fishy fish flavor that maybe you grew up digging on when you needed that simple fish and chips groove. No fishy flavor. So it's fake fish. What is Rob A getting at? Typically when you're eating fish, you don't want it to taste too fishy. That's just...

It's fish. I know. But like you want that like... Like sushi doesn't really taste that fish. I do too. I do too. But it doesn't taste that fishy. When you get something that like really tastes like the smell of fish, you're like...

Yeah. It's like this isn't... Okay. Okay. So that's what he's kind of saying. Yeah, of course. Even though it's a lie based on our experience to say that this doesn't taste fishy. I would say it's just not fish.

It just doesn't taste like fish. It tastes like food boys. Bad. Yeah, yeah. If the captain needs a first mate on the ship and there is an opening because the previous one was caught eating more than their fair share of hush puppies and was forced to walk the plank, well, then I'm his man because ration, ration, ration, people. Is he, is Rob A in love with the creator of Long John Silver's? This is a love story. boarding the ship. Good for you, Rob A. Rob A, live out your dreams. But also get better dreams. Yeah. I feel like there's more to life than this. Don't board that ship, Robay.

Yeah, don't get on that boat. Don't do it. And y'all, I'm going to tell you, hush puppies don't grow on trees, but from the uncharted island that is home to the hush lila puppy and people and their leader and Long John's half-brothers short Ned Silver. You know, I could write a book on the complicated relationship of these two brothers, but let's get back to what counts. Is he writing a fan fiction about Long John's? Silver's right now. And his brother? And his brother? Yeah. Was it casual?

I'm not answering this. But let's get back to what counts. And that's the golden, crispy, white flaky fish and the supporting fries and call it a day. Supporting. I mean, most fries are a support item. This one did not offer support. We'll get into it next week. As the new first mate, I will carry on the legacy of Long John Silver, short Ned. I will carry it on. He's writing fan fiction. Go on AO3 right now and search Long John Silver's and he will see fan fiction by Rob A.

Are you ready for the worst name that he's ever made up? I will carry on the legacy of Long John Silver, short Ned, and their long-lost cousin, Slow Charlie Galvanized steel. Galvanized square steel that you borrowed from your aunt. Do you get that reference? No. You know what they're referencing. That is so funny. You're brain-rodded.

You're brain-rotted. Okay. And you know it and you acknowledge it. Can I get my brain-wrought stuff? All you do is meme. That's all you do. You live in memes. I'm insulted.

Order a two or three piece fish dinner with a drink. Pull up a seat and enjoy while I spin a telltale yarn that will have you imagining the expansive. He's actually telling this. Yeah. Yeah. He thinks he's like this amazing storyteller. Is he doing it like a fan fiction on yield? It's so much longer right now.

Okay. I get it now. You see it. Yeah, whatever, whatever man. See if I care. And enjoy while I spend a telltale yarn that will have. have you imagining the expansive ocean with salt water in the breeze. Good staff, clean interior, lots of parking, friendly service. Lots of parking. A lot of people need to reach deep to get

compliments because there aren't that many good elements to talk about. When you're complimenting the parking and it's, that's not a great. It's not the best side. No. Yeah. That's the long John Silver Way and don't forget your vinegar packet. Fried when you order so. there's a short way. I don't know what that sentence means, but that's the end of the review. Rob A, I think you knew to go to therapy.

I think he should take a creative writing class because... Oh, yeah. This is a dare. I didn't love his contributions to his... Like, I didn't... His brain... Brain... His brain...

Wasn't creating things that I was impressed by. Short Ned... He's funny. I like this guy. I don't know. Rob A. Drop that. Drop that fan fiction, man. If that's your passion,

if we said that Long John Silver's was your passion, but if it's really creative writing, follow that passion, Rob A. One star review. February 27th, 20205 with one star and your profile picture is what I'm presuming is your hamster. Shelby, I appreciate that.

Thank you. Shelby W. says, If I could give this place a zero star, I would. There's no reason why this place has as many chain restaurants as it does. They should have shut this place down when they had that first ribbon cutting. Can you imagine they do like a ribbon and then they cut it? Well, that's it. Well, that's all, folks.

All right. Time to close up. And then wrap it again, but in caution tape. If you go here, don't get the hush puppies and definitely don't get the fish. Look, I agree with that. I fully. Shelby W. I am on your side with this.

Yeah. We are both from California. And honestly, I have an emotional connection with your hamsters. So, yeah. So I guess don't go here because all they sell is fish. It's disgusting. Gives people diarrhea of food poisoning. That's the sentence.

Gives people diarrhea of food poisoning. Yes. Yes, Shelby. Yes, it does. She just, oh my God. This place has survived so many years and I don't understand why. Do y'all like putting Duky in your mouth or something? Say that again, but just look directly into the camera and just say that.

Do you all like putting Duky in your mouth or something? Great. I'm not even, it seems like it shut this place down. That's the sentence. It seems like it shut this place down. It didn't. It's still there. I'm about to call Gordon Ramsey.

She spelled her wrong. And health services on this joint. Shut this place down. Do you know that Gordon Ramsey is not in the health department? He's not responsible for shutting. I get what she's saying because I have a story about this that has to do with something you asked me earlier. Okay. Okay.

I need to read this last sentence. I need to go back. Okay. Shut this place down. Anyways, thanks long John Silver's. Thank you. Anyway, thank you so much. Thank you for the pooh-poo-doogie.

Thank you for the pooh-poo-dokey. You know, I have a really hot plumbers. Thanks for helping me out. That's what I imagine Shelby just had. She's thinking that maybe she's married now. Maybe Long John Silver is... Introduced her to her husband. Her husband.

Yeah, maybe their venue is a Long John Sulphers. I feel so bad for you, Shelby, W. If that's true. If that's the case. Yeah. If they get married at a Long John Silverers, terrible. Hey there, it's me, Michael. And now that we're in season four, I'm adding more content to my Patreon.

Not only can you hear the extended Yelp. from Stranger's segment with three more reviews, and not only can you get an exclusive full episode covering an extra chain restaurant on the last day of each month, but I've added an extra chat with my guests where we discuss their go-to fast food and chain restaurants and talk about why they love them so much. I hope you'll come check it out, and you can get your first week completely free of charge. That's patreon.com slash fine dining podcast. I appreciate and love you all. back to the episode and that's part one

tune in next week as we tell you what we thought about our meal at Long John Silver's Oh, I'll tell you. Emma, it's been so fun making this episode with you. Will you join me for another one next week? That's a long way away.

Luckily, we can film it now and put it out later. Yo! Yo! Yo, that's crazy dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little yelp from strangers. Oh, I just realized

I have a mic in front of my face. Oh, my God. Do you ASMR? I have to do like an outro. This can be your outro. Wait, can I do your outro? Thank you so much. I need to get ASMR, thanks.

Can you say it while not crinkling stuff so they can actually hear what you're saying? But also, I episode. That was really fun. I enjoyed that. We'll just be sitting here for one week waiting on our table. I will see you all next week. I've been here the whole time. That's not this show.

Have a fine. Day. I want to like upstage you somehow. Can I do that? You did. Great. That's from fun now. And we're stuck in line.