Fine Dining - Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery: DILF Depot

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

Do grocery store pies taste better in their restaurant of origin? Not by much! Marie Callender's Restaurant & Bakery feels like a slice of Michael & Garrett's childhoods, a wood-paneled wonderland that feels like a dentist's office waiting room Garrett details the history of the franchise in this week's Resty Fact Round-Up, including a history of "Pie Spies" Marie Callender's proves to be a haven of "old" The winner of the Septemburger Bracket $500 Giveaway is announced! Michael falls asleep in the booth...and Garrett is wondering What's Going On Over There? Table talk centers around Garrett's obsession with trashy reality dating shows, inspiring DILF Depot Michael's root beer gets bused, then...unbused? JUB's is getting in the biz of consulting; he'll teach you that all you need to be the greatest server is constant refills Hear what others (including a septagenarian cowboy) have to say about this Marie Callender's location in this week's Yelp from Strangers Additional Voice Actors: Sandy Rose, Steve Moulton Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (September's episode: Septemburger's Semi-Finals & Finals), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Marie Callender's stories at [e-mail].   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on the "Fine" Dining SEASON FINALE: TGI Friday's! Spooky season is upon us as the boys head to TGI Friday's on Friday the 13th! Hear what they have to say in two weeks for the finale episode of season 1! Ever work at a TGI Friday's? Send your stories to [e-mail].   Totally Not Sponsored By: JUB

Hello and welcome back to the fine dining podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I am your host, Michael Ornellis, and I'm your host, Garrett Swerk, and this is the podcast where we are looking for the perfect 5.00 rating out of 10, the most average dining experience that you can have. We are not good enough for fine dining. No, we're good enough for fine dining. Yeah, that is us at our core. Not good enough for fine dining. No, we're good enough for fine dining. That is us at our court. That's our mediocre boys.

That's our, that's our ballhouse right there. We do this by judging a restaurant based on its atmosphere, based on its service, and based on its food. Obviously, this is what we're doing. We're doing it because we're dumb and deserve mediocrity. Great. Now you're all caught up. Welcome to our level.

How do you feel? And speaking of getting caught up, if you go check out our Patreon, you can find out the winner of the September tournament, which just wrapped up, I am half meat. I am more, actually, no, I'm not half meat. I'm over 50% meat. I am more meat than man.

Well, this week we decided to go somewhere that offers comfort food to hopefully help bring your pH levels down a little bit. We went to Marie Calender's restaurant and bakery and it wasn't so comforting. Yeah, it was alright. Find dining party of doom. We'll get into it more, but in the meantime, our table is ready. Snit, neck, cowboy hat, good luck hat Autograph guitar, some crap from your city Behold the trusty of me, be up ready I'm dining Yes, I'm dining

I'm dining Two letters on the sign are shining Now I'm flickering irregular timing Identify the perfect vibe How the ten? I'm dining I'm dining. I'm dining. First impressions. The sign was all worn down.

It needed a refresh. It looked sunfated. Yeah. The building needed a remodel. Original sign, original building. I kind of liked the old school feel of this. It didn't bug me. I do agree that it just felt so outdated.

And the clientele. Also, it was good to help. Okay, the parking lot was shady. There were weird people just loitering. There was a dude, a few cars down that was changing his clothes in the car. There was another guy, a few more cars down. That was just sitting there with this trunk popped open,

smoking a cigarette in this big baggy t-shirt. We were next to this really crappy apartment complex and the barrier wall had a bunch of holes poked in it. Like bricks were missing and I noticed like a bunch of crap and detritus like shoved into these holes. Everything was dirty. I thought Culver City would be nicer than this. See what I noticed was just elderly and what I thought was funny is we pulled in, I

look over, this turn in is kind of abrupt and almost dangerous. Like it's a pretty fast road right next to the Marie calendars. And you mix fast roads, dangerous turning, and elderly people. There was like an old man that just turned in the minimal amount. Like he was technically in the parking lot. His trunk was technically not in the street, and then he just sat there for like five minutes or whatever. And this is the clientele that we have to deal with.

Yeah, I had no idea what he was doing. I was like, is he confused? He was actually waiting on a parking spot. But outside just seemed like the wild west of driving and parking, there was a big like, we sell strawberry pies. How do you describe that like font? It's like the window decal.

Yeah, that takes up multiple panels of window. Yeah, it's like whatever that window paint is, it's a thing. I love it. That's cute. I really do. Again, it takes me back. It takes me back to my childhood,

just like a font, a style, a look, a lead paint. Yeah, I know. It looks like none of this is brain damage. Clean to send your childhood. Yeah, nothing in the building has been replaced since the childhood. I feel like people are getting the visual of this dirt-coded restaurant. And I don't think that's fair. I just think old and outdated is more fair.

Yeah, the only thing this restaurant was missing on the inside was shag carpeting on the walls. We'll talk about an atmosphere, but I didn't hate the decor style. So then we walk into this front little, I guess, lobby. It kind of looks like a waiting room. It looks like an 80s dentist office. Yeah.

But with a display of some treats for you, I think it was muffins. I didn't really see pies in those displays. I was expecting, but they had this huge wooden sign with all of the different types of pies. I loved it. Like again, just classic. It was nice that it was made of wood.

Everything was like carved or etched out of it. This was a handmade thing. Yeah, it was a nice little piece of decor. And then of course, I noticed that the ceiling is really low, not like right away, but there's like a counter that you walk up to that has the display case. And then the ceiling drops down to like, I can barely fit under it.

And I'm not a tall man. I'm like, what, five, nine? So yeah, I'm an average sized human and feeling claustrophobic under this ceiling. And it made me, I don't know, just feel, I guess unwelcome in a way, like you're too big to be here. Yeah, so as we were saying, the people here,

old, the general vibe was Lubies, but everyone is down on their luck. Oh, that's a sad comparison because Lubies, but everyone is down on their luck. Oh, that's a sad comparison because Lubies isn't necessarily a place you go for celebrations. Yeah. No, you go to Sizzler for that. I hate that. Anyways, you seem to know a lot about restaurants. You're referencing them. Have you prepared some facts about Marie Calender's? Yes, I have.

Can you hear about the history? Okay, well, we're gonna jump into this week's restaurant fact round up. Good job for clearing that up. Resty fact round up. Before we go into it, your mom, my mom, they listen to every episode. My mom has this sensitivity against hearing the whips sound that we used to round up our Resty facts. So I'm to bring the volume down on that, but I don't want people to get confused over when new rusty facts are being rounded up. So we need something to accentuate that sound

effect. What should we do, Garrett? What should replace? What should complement the whip noise? I can't feel my legs. Is that a diabetic thing? All right, I can't feel my legs on three. One, two, three. I can't feel my legs. Yeah, why do I do this shit? I can't feel my legs. Marie's son, Don Calendar, opened the first Marie calendars in Orange, California in 1964. However, the concept and pie business started many years earlier in the early 1940s. So we're coming up on almost 80 years of the concept and even still 59 years as a restaurant. It's a Southern California state. It looks like it.

I can't feel my legs. After baking pies for local Long Beach business, Marie calendar ended up going out on her own. She got sick of lugging around hundreds of pounds, bags of flour and just working her ass off for this random guy. Did she steal the recipes and take them with her? No, they were all her recipes? To begin with, but this was a really cool restaurant owner.

He's like, okay, that's fair. Just bake the pies yourself and I'll buy them from you. This is how her pie business started. Trying to stick it to the man, but then the man stuck up for her. Yeah. I can't feel my legs. They did this for a while until Sheen or husband, Kel sold the family card to finance a wholesale bakery

in 1948. So they were doing this out of her home until they actually rented the real location. This is almost like cheesecake factory levels of origin. Yeah, definitely. It's a very similar thing. Cooking out of your home before it kind of snowballs into this much bigger franchise.

So at this point, they've got a brick and mortar bakery building. It's still not open to the public. It's all only wholesale, but Marie Callendon would work all night and then sell pies during the day. So it was just a three of them. And they all just Marie, Cal and Don. Yeah. Cal is the husband. Marie Callandon. Like, wow, it's a Pokemon. Yeah, just like a weird Don fan mixed with a, just a, a blue bar pie. This is the mega evolution. I can't feel my legs. 16 years later in 1964, they finally opened up their first

official retail location and to generate early business They set up their ovens near the windows. So customers would be drawn in by the site of baking pies Ooh the site. I thought they were gonna go the cinnabon route. Yes. Yes. I'm trying to hit that walked zone Depending on the ventilation of the building that could have been a possibility to do you think people float it in like just led by a little Disney-esque steam animation, twiddling their legs in the air, and their nose, pocket? That's how it happened.

But they also offered free slices of pie and a free cup of coffee to every single new customer that walked into the door during that the early days of the business. Remember the days where that wouldn't bankrupt you? Yeah. Do you? Because I know this. I think I'm aware of the concept of those days. I grew up in a small town that had freebies and stuff. I can't feel my legs. As one would expect in these situations, success soon followed. There were 13 locations by the end of 1969, which was five years later,

and 84 locations by the end of the 70s. Nationwide? Yes. Throughout this time, Marie calendars expanded the menu and even added cocktail lounges to some locations. So just imagine going to Marie calendars and using it as your local triangles bar.

Oh no. Oh, I am picturing this is your geriatric love lounge. Oh my gosh, I'm like actually having like drama flashes right now. I can't feel my legs. In 1986, Don decided to sell the franchise of 120 locations to the hotel chain Ramada for $80 million. Ramada? Yes.

And that is $220 million in today's money. That's not bad. No, not at all. That's pretty good. I didn't know Ramada was in the restaurant business. It's funny. You turned down an offer from Marriott. All right.

I can't feel my legs. Unfortunately, this was the end of stability for Marie calendars as the company and even the trademark were sold multiple times over the next decade. Most notably the trademark landed with cone agro foods, the maker of the frozen grocery version, and the company ended up with the owner of Perkins for a time. Yes. The current owner of Marie calendars is Elite Restaurant Group. The one restaurant I know of that they own is Daphne's Greek.

Okay. That's literally the only one I can recognize. So they purchased the chain in 2019 for guess how much? I'm gonna guess it's not $200 million in today's dollars. No. No. Wait, two million? You're really close.

Yeah. $1.75 million. It's a franchise that once sold for a value of $220 million, sold for $1.75 million. How the mighty have fallen. Yeah. So there are only 24 locations remaining in three states. It's here, Utah, and Nevada, and it's down to a peak of 145 locations in 1993.

I can't feel my legs! Marie Caledars has been involved in a surprising number of trade secret lawsuits, given its comfort food and wholesome image. Ha ha! Go on. As early as the late 1960s, Denys poached a former employee as they were starting a pie shop at the time. So Marie calendar sued in a judge ruled

that Denys could not use the exact same recipes. I mean, that makes sense. Yeah, I'm on Marie calendar side on that one. Another ex-employee attempted to start a pie shop in Oregon in 1977, but Marie counters obtained a successful injunction wait So this is just a bunch of like defectors. Yeah Confectionary defection what the news called it all these stories at the time. They were the pie spies That's good branding. I can't feel my legs

That's good branding. I can't feel my legs. Another trade secret lawsuit happened in 1982 after one of their oven vendors allegedly stole and sold their secret pie recipes to competitors. Some re-calenders is the victim here. Yes, wild. But one more fun lawsuit. Don calendar sued Ramada not long after the buyout claiming deceptive business practices as his post-sale company role had zero actionable power, even though he was promised to have

the lead role and be able to run the company with autonomy. Ooh, rough. You hate to see it? I can't feel my legs! Back to the frozen foods. The store bought pies don't actually use Marie's original recipes. What?

It's, they're a fraud. Scandal. However, the name and branding are all that seemed to matter because $800 million worth of Marie calendars frozen foods were sold in 2011. Why'd you cherry pick 12 years ago? Is that just the one you could find data on? That was the one I could find data on. How much? 80 million? 800 million dollars. 800 million

of the entire Marie calendars frozen food line in gross sales. Unreal. Yeah. So for a company that sold for one point, it got stripped for parts. Yeah, it really did. And so, Konag are the maker of these frozen foods. They make over 200,000 frozen single serve Marie calendar apple pies every single day. So yeah, they got stripped for parts. I can't feel my legs. Marie calendars created National Pot Pie Day on September 23rd, 2002.

How do you just go about inventing your own holiday other than just saying, this is the holiday and just hoping people adopt it. I mean, you look it up now and like every day has like 16 holidays affiliated and I'm not gonna be mad about it if I can go somewhere and get a free donut one day a year. Like, who am I to sit here and shit on free donut

day or international donut day or whatever it is, national donut day? I don't actually have alerts and alarms and stuff dedicated to June 7th. I don't know when national donut day is, okay? I don't know the specifics. It's not an important day every year for me. You wake up every single June 7th like it's any other day of the year. Any other day, I don't plan a route around LA where I had a bunch of donut shops. You don't happen to have an amazing donut shop, just like a mile and a half down the road.

I don't happen to have a lot of amazing donut shops within a drivable distance of me. Yeah, you actually do, like there are two that are like awesome and I don't take advantage of that at all. And that does it for this week's resty-fact roundup. Yeah! At this year. So I feel like we've already covered

a lot of the vibe of this place. But you know what was weird? What? They had TVs everywhere, like it was a sports lounge. It did look a little out of place having a little bit. It kind They had TVs everywhere. Like it was a sports lounge. It did look a little out of place. Yeah. It kind of undercut it. It almost says what we offer isn't enough. Here's the game. I almost would have preferred if they had TVs from the 70s and 80s instead of the modern flat screens. Yeah. You have to like go up and hit the side of it when the recession goes out.

They just get all static. All you hear is that hum. There is aluminum foil for antenna. And if you pull off the back of it, you honestly risk electric euthan death. Yes, like that's what I wanted on the ceiling. I would have been okay with that. Yeah. This place definitely had the classic field though.

Like we talked about the wood, they have what you told me were Tiffany Fatter and Nile lamps. I don't know how you are so familiar with different decor. I don't know. Maybe if this is just like the eighth or ninth time, we've brought up this exact thing. And this is the first time it's stuck. Well, I have recognized that in the past, you have mentioned Tiffany style lamps.

These specific ones look like they had like a fruit bowl pattern on it and the lamps definitely had nipples. Yeah, full on nipples. They were breast lamps. They had ariolas, like they had like everything about the distribution of shape was very breasty. I'm not going to put my mouth on a light fixture in a restaurant that's stupid, but I kinda wanted to, but you did it.

Like I had the urge, like if I had a way to sanitize it, maybe I would have for social media. I would have walked out. I would have genuinely been like, this meal is done. I should do more shit like that. No, you shouldn't. You should be socially acceptable in public. No, not the opposite. I'm never socially acceptable in public. No, not the opposite.

I'm never socially acceptable in public. I know, and like I was also self-conscious because people were staring at us the entire time, but it wasn't us, it was the damn TV above our heads. Oh, well also they may have been like, you guys are too young to be here. What are you doing here? This makes no sense to us.

We can't wrap our brain around why a group of your age would be here. There was an abandoned salad bar, which I, that's got to be a post-COVID thing, where it's just like, we can't meet the sanitary precautions to prevent mass disease. So why even bother? But then you get one guy who just did one singular, eruptive animal-esque COVID cough in the middle of the restaurant.

We just hear, like it sounded like the throat clear of a kung fu master. Yeah, exactly. It's like a sumo, yeah, or something. It was very disconcerting when we realized, oh, our entire party of five just caught the Rona at a Marie-Callant.

I was genuinely ready to title this episode. We all caught COVID at Marie-Callant, there is, but so far, so far so good. And we're what, four days later? Yeah, I think we're good. We're probably fine. Knock on wood. Anyways, I haven't been able to taste anything,

but that's unreal. One thing I will say about this place, even though there wasn't, it felt like it had a smoking section. Oh yeah. Like this is a place that definitely had the layout to have a smoking section and definitely at one point did. Oh for sure. There's no way it didn't. Speaking of that, the overall vibe is depressive stagnation. Nothing's changed. Nothing's going to improve. Life is a steaming pile and

it's never going to get any better. Always the optimist. I know, right? Like, that's what the vibe of this restaurant gave me. I, the real experience was that sad. I actually didn't hate the vibe here. Maybe I just equate that vibe with, I guess, the general vibe of society in that era. In that era? Yeah. What is this organ trail?

Yes. Yeah. They did close at 8 p.m. Like if that's not indicative of the clientele, I don't know what else is. But there was this mad rush right near the end. Just a bunch of people like I gotta get my pies and get and they were all like pickup orders.

They knew not to trifle with the wait staff here. They were just like, we're gonna get our pie and get out. When I was sitting there in the beginning, some people were coming in to get pies, but everyone seemed like a regular. Those were the type of interactions that were happening. Yeah, like they recognized the staff and the staff recognized them. Look at the place. You gotta be a regular if you're gonna keep going back there. One thing that I want to make sure is not a regular thing is the subject of conversation that all of you were like,

so there were five of us there. This was me, Garrett, Garrett's girlfriend, Herbert, and Steven, our cheese correspondent. And I was checked out while all of you just kept talking about different trashy reality dating shows. That is the best. Is it? Yes it is.

I love Island is the best. F boy Island, I'm watching the big D right now. Berge, you are the man. Oh my God. I don't. I wish you the best. I have no context for what this means, but you were talking about Milf Manor, which conceptually, very funny, but I've got to say, y'all bringing these shows up was way

too much. This is... Garrett, you guys know way too much about... So, you know, Milf Manor. Let me explain Milf Manor. Because the name is so preposterous. It's a show where a mother and son pair go into this house to live together and the mother's date the other sons. So you've got like 60-year-olds dating 25-year-olds. I'm done with this.

And it's the most trashy, amazing thing ever. So you've got like 60 year olds dating 25 year olds. I'm done with this. I'm done with this. It's the most trashy, amazing thing ever. And you know what? It is also way too much. I do not know. The fact that you subjected me to all this conversation, the only reason I'm bringing it up is because there was one positive outcome from them.

Oh, the positive thing. So the story of when the one mom and the one gave the mom admitted she slept with the kids best friend and he just had a breakdown. That's crazy man. This podcast is not about Nilf Manor. The one good thing that came out of this was the hilarious pitch that Herbert gave us where he suggested the exact opposite.

Dads and daughters in a show called Dilf Depot. 8. Single Dads Looking for a Second Chance at Love What can I say? I'm here for another shot at love. I think if I could just find one more special lady, I could find happiness. These hot poppas will spend one month with eight beautiful young women in the one place that they call paradise, that fake lawn section at their local A's hardware store with artificial grass.

Wow, this is nice! What is that, polyethylene? So cool! But there's one twist that they could not have seen coming. The women they'll be dating are each other's daughters. Of course I've dated women my daughter's age. I didn't want her to see me dating women her age. Break me, get out of here! And they don't like it. Ooh. Yeah, I don't want to date many of these dudes. Whose idea was this?

It was ours. Dilfty Poe coming this fall. Can I just go home? Only on HPV. Check your local listings. Can I just go home? Only on HPV. Check your local listings. A big reason that I was checked out on that reality show talk?

I was so tired, Garrett. I literally fell asleep in the booth. Oh, you're a little sleepy baby. What's going on over there? What's going on over there? What's going on over there? A I wear it? Should I game? What is going on over there? What's going on over there? I was tired.

This doesn't need this segment. I can give you the answer. That segment's devoted for when we don't know the answer, Garrett. No. You are Heath Ledgering in old person. What, like, method acting? Yes. Not just tired.

Oh, OK, Jared Lido. tired. Oh, okay Jared Lido Okay, I'm trying to figure out a mystery do a thing that's not actually a mystery. No, there isn't a mystery You are trying to work on your acting chops because obviously you're trying to be till the sweeten Honestly, your pull of method actors is pretty intense. You know a lot of method actors. Okay, Gary Oldman, that's enough. They call me Daniel Day Michael. They're, see you agreed.

Yeah, that is in fact what's going on over there. We're going on over there. All right, so we've got to put all of this together for a thumb rating on the atmosphere. You know what, I didn't have any thumbs for this place. None, none up, none down. I thought this is a very average place. Nothing here was like poppin, nothing worked, nothing didn't work.

It just was, so zero thumbs for me. The whole place was just dark, dingy, and depressing. I felt sad when I left. I guess I didn't feel the darkness because the sun was literally in my eye. Oh yeah, you got it. It was really weird. Good ball. Yeah.

Good ball, yeah. It's like, oh, it's pretty bright in here. It's actually too bright. This restaurant just made me sad. So, one thumb down. Surface. We never got our server's name. No, we didn't get a lot from our server.

He was all business. He was just kind of like, I'm here to do the tasks. I really loved how he had this weird obsessive nature about refilling water. That's like all this guy did. He just came in. I don't mind it either, but it was like this compulsion of his. He's like pouring water in as you're drinking must always be topped. And now a word from Mark totally not made up sponsor. Oh hi there it's your favorite sponsor,

Jubin. I'm back and I know what you're thinking. Who has a favorite sponsor? That's so weird, but usually that's based on who has the best advertisements. But you know what, I'm getting out of the advertising game and into the consulting business. I've been around restaurants so much. If you're a waiter, I can help you be the very best one. And you only got to focus on one thing. Refills! They take a sip, you fill it up. Even a little bit off the top is unacceptable. You know what they say? Empty cup, empty heart.

And I'm trying to save you, so you don't become like me. The world has chewed me up and spit me back out. I want to tell you about all the things that make me feel that way, but I can't because of a non-disclosure agreement. So hire me to consult you as a waiter, and I'll teach you more than just refilling cups and you'll be the best in the world. If this sounds good do you call me? Not on a phone, because honestly I just talk into the earpiece and listen through the

microphone and I'd look like a fool. So to reach me just ring one of those fancy little desk bells. It does the little ding-a-ling at the front of a hotel, and I'll make my way to you. I gotta go now. Okay, bye! Going back to him being all business, what do you be having? Like, that was the first thing we heard from him before waters were brought, before anything.

It was just, what do you be having? And that made me sad because I wanted to have the Asian guy as a server. If he was outgoing and friendly, I noticed he was going to talk to the tables, maybe he was the manager, I got manager vibes, because he had different clothing. He was serving the table next to us. I wish he would have interacted with us more.

What I did actually notice about him is he came up to the table behind us at one point and just said, is it pie time over here? And I was just like, this guy knows. Yep, he knows what brings people in the doors. Not do you want one of these bullshit muffins that we offer? I'm sure they're good, but like people are here for the pie. Yeah. Yeah, he definitely had people skills, our server kind of didn't. That was really kind of what you put that. I got a root beer. I used my one non water drink of the week to indulge in a root beer. And it was kind of watered down because this waiter loves refills and probably put

water in it. So I finished the root beer. It's sitting on the table and he was like, do you want another one? And I say, no. And he picks it up as though he's going to bust it. And then he sets it back down on the table and walks away. And like, I've never had something almost bust.

Yeah. It was a very peculiar odd such, like I think this guy just has a deep love of water. He's like, he's like, if you're not getting water, I don't wanna deal with you. Or at least I won't treat you with respect. He wants us to fight the heart disease from eating this grease and fried food.

And as we all know, water washes out the arteries. Oh yeah, no, water cleans out all of your body. You have one sip of water, you're clean. That's it, that's the myth. Yeah, now, the one thing I will say about his service, and this isn't unique to him, but it's happened to us quite a bit. Once the check drop happened, we got abandoned.

Why is it so commonplace lately? I really don't get it that it's like, I'm now at the point where I'm like, have your card out and ready to give to him as soon as he brings the check so we don't have to wait 10 minutes for them to come back and collect the cards. But this is becoming commonplace and it's really frustrating. Once they drop the check, it's like they feel like they've crossed the finish line, but there's like, you have to flag him down. It's like, here, take my money, you have to fry that shit.

I almost got to the point where I walked up to the counter to, like, I hate being that guy, but it's like 15 minutes. Also, to be fair, there was a cash register right up at the front and maybe this was one of those. But it was for pickup orders. Maybe you could have gone to pay there. Maybe some people do it like that. I mean, I'm sure you could have.

Yeah, I'm sure. There are a lot of restaurants this style that operate in the manner. But it should be communicated one way or another. But then this man would have to use his words, which he really didn't. You're right. Yeah, mystery solved.

Yeah. Now, I do have another award I want to give out. I want to give the seldom awarded. This is way too little award to the Togo containers. Yeah, this is way too little. These Togo containers could not hold anything. They were the T-go containers that you can tell can only fit like a hamburger or one slice of pie. They have the containers specialized to fit one slice of pie.

But like people, like three of you took home the remainders of your full meal and you had like sides, entree, obviously not the whole thing. But like your to- go container looked truly hilarious. Yeah, I smashed everything in there. Just a mushed in French dip sandwich on a mountain of fries. The French dip was like all bent out of shape. It looked sad like when a kid presses his face

against the glass at a zoo to like taunt the tiger or something and play God when the tiger goes out to try and bite him but doesn't because there's glass there. And then the parent gets all freaked out. Is that why you're not allowed at the LA Zoo? And that's been, this is way too little. All right. There's not much more to else to say.

I'm going one thumb down on the service. I wish it was better, but it just wasn't. Yeah. I'm going to go zero thumbs. He didn't really do anything good or bad. I mean he kept you hydrated Yeah, that is that is a plus. Yeah, the check drop thing bugs me though. Don't just disappear Okay, so before we go in to talking about the food I've got a follow-up with something announced about a month ago at the September Kickoff show.

There was a little competition. There were brackets that everyone could fill out and send into the FINDINING podcast email and whoever was correct on all of the Septemberer matchups, all seven matches, would be entered into a drawing for $500. And it was promised that the winner would be announced on this episode. Now there's good news and bad news. The bad news is that no one correctly predicted

the entire September or bracket, but I've still got this $500 to give away. So I decided to put everyone who submitted into a drawing pool and I'm going to give $250 to whichever name comes out and I'm going to give the other $250 of that to the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank. So here we go. Your winner of the September give away. Tony Miranda, Tony, if you are listening, go ahead and email find DiningPodcast at gmail.com and we

will work out the details to get you your $250. Thanks to everyone who submitted and to the rest of you. I hope to see your brackets next year. Alright, on to food. Food. Yum! The things that they are known for, I don't think were their best things. We'll go into it, but like, yeah, I was kind of weirdly surprised by that. I got a Caesar salad. Now, this is gonna be the weirdest admission

any of you have ever heard. This was my first Caesar salad ever. How have you never eaten a Caesar salad before? I don't really trust restaurant salads, and I feel like it's wasted space. You don't trust restaurant salad. What's wrong with restaurant salad? Well, not all restaurant salads,

but like anytime you hear of like certain outbreaks, it's either the meat or the lettuce. Like whenever you hear like, oh, recall over, not Sam and Ella, but you know, whatever is carried in those things, food poisoning. And it just, I know that if you're at like a Marie calendars, it's not a salad place. So their salad is not going to be a thing where it's like, they put a lot into it. So like usually I'll decline even like a salad that comes with something.

Do you eat Chipotle? No, not really. Okay. That's better than because they've also had a lot of outbreaks. A lot of outbreaks. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. It's just a thing where like restaurant lettuce in general, I'm skeptical. And on this particular day, I was feeling bold.

Maybe I was delirious from the lack of sleep, but I ordered a Caesar salad. And Caesar salad is very simple. It's lettuce, cheese, and croutons, and dressing. I'm not adventurous with dressings, but I've gotten more adventurous and obviously I'm not a cheese guy. So what am I getting? Lettuce and croutons? So I did get lettuce and croutons and I braved the Caesar dressing and it up actually liking it. I wasn't mad about this salad in theory. It was still just a salad. I'm not gonna say it was like this delicious thing. I went five out of ten on it. It was...

It's salad! But I was proud of my bravery. You were a brave boy. I left my comfort zone to try a thing that everyone's like, the fuck? You're 34 and you just tried your first season salad. Yes, I did. And I liked it well enough. My favorite part of this entire meal, the fries. The fries.

Those fries, they impressed me. Yeah, they had the texture and crispiness of like hash browns and tater tots. You did put your finger right on that pulse when you had it. You were like, oh, this tastes like a McDonald's hash brown. And it did. And a McDonald's hash brown? Not a bad hat. No. It's not high quality, this tastes like a McDonald's Hash Brown. And it did. And a McDonald's Hash Brown? Not a bad hat. No.

It's not high quality, but it tastes good. It tastes good. Now put that in fry form. Mmm. Honestly, I would prefer these fries to a McDonald's Hash Brown. I need to. These fries were amazing. I didn't even need to season them.

Yeah. I went eight out of 10 on them. Nine out of 10 for me. These were some of the best fries we've had. My pot pie came with cornbread. 9 out of 10 for me, these were some of the best fries we've had. My pot pie came with cornbread. I actually liked, like I'm so used to dry cornbread. It's so hard to get great cornbread, but when you do get great cornbread,

it makes all of those other misses worth it. This was a hit for me. I actually liked it. The butter was really good. It was like a honey butter. I went seven out of ten on the cornbread. I enjoyed the flavor of the cornbread. It was moist, it was light, it was fluffy,

it was really sweet too, but it was missing that cornmeal texture you get occasionally with cornbread. It didn't have the savory, creamed corn flavor in there. It was a nice sweet bread for me, but as a cornbread, I can only give it a five and a half out of 10. Really? All right. It was good bread, but it was a corn bread. I mean, this isn't like eight, nine, or 10 territory for me, but it was good enough.

So now, Entrez, Steven got meatloaf. He's got the most unique palate. He's like a meatloaf or really mushy foods kind of guy. He's in my D&D group and he brings over a container of his dinner often and it's always very mushy cheesy foods. Oh yeah, not knocking him for it, but I'm definitely noticing that it's different from my palette. Mm-hmm. I hated this meatloaf. I had a small bite. I went two and a half out of 10. Oh wow. But Herbert got the pot roast,

and I thought it was really good. As a matter of fact, I thought a lot of the beefy things they had were good, the pot roast, your French dip. I really liked both of those things. I actually was considering getting the pot roast, but didn't, but I went seven out of ten on the pot roast.

So let's talk about your French dip because I liked it and I want to talk about it too. You mentioned the same thing during the meal. The bread stayed together with the dip. There was a little crispness to it, which a lot of French dips, it just falls apart and I hate it. This one stayed structurally sound. There was a hint of horse radish on this meat. That's one of my favorite elements of French dip sandwich,

it's just like a slathering of horse radish. Which I would've wanted more, but the flavor element was still there, so that was pretty good. It was even good the next day. Oh yeah, that's right. I reheated it up, I refried the bread, like seared the meat, tossed it in some barbecue sauce,

so it was a really good barbecue beef sandwich, which actually tasted better than the original French dip sandwich. So what do you give the French dip? So the original French dip, I'm gonna give a five and a half out of ten. Really? That's it. Yeah, it's, I, I like it. I like it. It was good, but I wanted so much more out of it. I also went seven out of ten on that. So I don't, I don't know what it was. I like to, I honestly, I could't know what it was I like to I honestly I could tell you what it was. It was low expectations. Biting into something that impresses you when you have low expectations really really gives it a boost. Yeah, no, that's fair. If low expectations,

I probably would have rated it higher because the first thing I tasted was Stevens meatloaf and it just like set the tone real badly. And it's like, oh, this food's not gonna be good. So I tasted all of your food before I even took a bite of my pot pie. Now I wanna talk about the pot pie. This was also my first chicken pot pie. Smash in barriers here. Break it records.

First for everything. But I got the mini chicken pot pie, I think is what it was got. I don't know, there was some element of it. It was small. And by that it was just a single serving, probably five or six inch diameter pie in like a silver tin. The pie crust didn't seem like it fit

with the rest of the flavors. It felt like I was just getting like buttery, flaky bread that was like honestly a little too buttery tasting. It kind of overwhelmed and kind of masked any breadiness. And I like bread, so I would prefer to taste bread. And then the inside tasted like liquid chicken soup. And that was good. That's basically what a pot pie is.

Yeah, but chicken soup, while solid, isn't like this food that's setting a world on fire. And I thought that the crust detracted from the rest of it. So I'm only going five out of ten. This is a very mediocre dish. I think I would like a pot pie better from somewhere else. But for like an introductory chicken pot pie, it wasn't terrible. But it probably didn't stick a lander pot pie yourself. And you overestimate my prowess in the kitchen. That are your really insulting Marie Calender's. All right, so now desserts,

we just all ordered a different slice of pie. Chocolate cream pie, razzleberry pie, cherry pie, apple pie, and lemon meringue pie. I didn't try the lemon meringue pie, but I tried all the others. Did you like that one? The meringue on the lemon meringue pie, but I tried all the others. Did you like that one? The meringue on the lemon meringue pie didn't taste that fresh.

But the lemon part was great. Great. Do you have a number for it? Probably a five out of 10 pies. That meringue, some it was good. Gotcha. Yeah. I didn't think any of these pies were great.

They felt like grocery store pies. Like I genuinely feel like I'm not accusing them of this, but it feels like they just took their frozen pies and cooked them. Yeah, agreed. It did not taste fresh. So the chocolate cream pie tasted like chocolate pudding with a crust, which I'm not mad at that.

I like chocolate pudding, but it was six out of 10. There wasn't a lot of complexity to the flavor. The chocolate was, it tastes like store-bought chocolate pudding. So a tasty thing, but it was six out of 10. There wasn't a lot of complexity to the flavor. The chocolate was, it tastes like store-bought chocolate pudding. So it tasted the thing, but not gonna pull my mind away. How can I even eat that after we have access to Republic of Pi here? Like, yes, Republic of Pi, local pie shop, that is fantastic. This is not even close. Then there was the cherry pie. This is what Herbert got. Again, I feel like it tasted like what you get at a grocery store, which is you're gonna. Again, I feel like it tasted like what you get

at a grocery store, which is you're gonna like it, but you're not gonna like go out of your way to be like, oh, you've gotta go to Kroger. They've got the best cherry pie. Yeah, I went six and a half. Did you try all of these? No, I didn't, actually. I had enough meat yogurt food in this point.

You hit your cap, I hit my cap. Gotcha. Yeah, I went six and a half on the cherry pie. I went 6.9 out of 10 on my apple pie. That was good. I love apple pie. That was my highest pie rating. It had a nice cinnamon-y-ness to it.

Oh, would you rate that again? 6.9. Nice. But obviously the pie we need to talk about the Marie calendars original flavor, Raselberry. This is raspberry and blackberry and a pie. Ah, so it's just a bunch of tart city things

that get stuck in your teeth. But I mean, raspberries are one of my favorite. Like I don't mind it. This is what they're known for. This is kind of like the big draw of a Marie calendars is the Raselberry pie, just because it's like an original creation. Doesn't sound like you were into it.

But like from a texture standpoint. Okay, the pie crust here too, it didn't taste fresh. I was expecting so much more out of these pies, especially Marie calendar's original recipe pie. Like the crust. The crust-bary's your thing. Give me some more. The crusts all across the board were just weak. Were we like getting end-of-day pie or something?

I don't think we were getting freshly made pies. Yeah, I just, I could be wrong about that. I'm not making an accusation, but I am saying my suspicion. I went 6.7 out of 10 on the raspberry pie. It was my second favorite of the pies that I tasted, but it still wasn't like none of these were amazing. I went 5 out of 10 because it didn't do anything to overcome the texture.

Like, when you have raspberries, blackberries, seedy things, do something to cancel it out. Give me something flavorful. Don't give me a dry, stale pie that just tastes like tartan seeds. Well, when you put all of this together into a food thumb rating, where do you have it? This was neither good nor bad.

Like I think this place was quintessential mediocrity. Yeah. I'm giving this zero thumbs. Yeah. I, I really liked the pot roast. I really liked the French dip. I really liked the fries. And I thought the pies were good enough to have this place eke out a very weak one thumb up. Okay. But nothing was like great. And the meatloaf was bad, but everything else was mediocre. But there were enough things that I really did like enough

to be like, okay, I will go one thumb up. I will put this slightly above average in the food section. But as an overall dining experience, we need to put that together into a rating and see food, atmosphere, and service. How did it do? But before we do that, we gotta go to Yelp and see what other people are saying about Marie Calendars in this week's Yelp from Strangers. We need a little Yelp, a little Yelp from Strangers.

A one star, two star, three star, four by eye. So get a little, little, little, little, little, you're from strangers. A little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 star Yelp reviews from the Marie calendars that we went to. 4 star review. Garrett, can I start this off with a 4 star review? Yeah, let's start off it. It's pretty good. It reads like a 5 star.

Like I don't know what the dude's criticism is. His name is Roche. ROCH. Roche B, eight months ago, four stars. Diner love. There aren't many of the great ones around anymore. This storied old chain of bakeries slash comfort food purveyors does it right. Hop off the 405 around National and Bob into this iconic and historic franchise for a nice

and predictable dining experience. The Arnold Palmer hot cornbread with fluffy, melty butter, the roasted turkey and masches with cranberry sauce, and of course the age old standard Marie calendars chicken pot pie so outrageous everything I just yelled as in caps. I don't know why some people just insist on capitalizing things. Yeah, it's all here When you're done, don't forget to take home a razzleberry or pumpkin or classic lemon meringue pie and man Those muffins look too good to be true. Add in a top shelf pro weight staff that does it all with a smile and slash,

hey, what's not to love? I loved Marie C. so much. I'd try hitting on her with those mad skill cooking chops, but at this point, she must be at least 140 years old. I, Necrofele is not cool. point, she must be at least 140 years old. I Necrofele is not cool. I want to show you what this guy's picture looks like. Oh my God, he looks like someone that would commit Necrofele.

He looks like Tommy Wiseau. He really does. And then here's another picture of him. That the same God is I think the first one is a wig. The Tommy Wiseau looking one looks like it's gotta be a wig, but he's just got this really intense, long black hair and then a photo of him just holding a trombone. And this guy wants to hit on Marie calendar.

So good for him. Thanks, Roche. Yeah. Don't understand based on all this love you gave it though. Let's see what an actual five star review looks like Five star review. Yeah, before I give this review, I'm gonna describe the picture of the man who gave it so we can give a little context sure This man John H looks kind of like a sept septetonarian cowboy and he is a Caucasian male. He's got the best Clint Eastwood-esque squint going on.

He's trying to be David Caridine for Halloween or something. Yeah. John H, he's an elite yelper from three months ago, five stars. Picture this. The crack of dawn. An airport run to LAX defetched my lovely wife from her pleasure trip. Battling the traffic gods, I finally reached the airport reunite with wifey and her travel buddy and just when we're about to head home, hunger strikes.

Desperate for comfort food, we take the Exit at National of the 405, praying for a solution, and lo and behold, the heavens smile upon us as we spot the glorious sign of Marie Caledars. Play of parking, a spotlessly clean and inviting atmosphere, and oh, so comfy booths awaited us. Our server, Shirley, I think, was an absolute gem, friendly and efficient. I opted for the spicy chicken salad while the ladies indulged in small chicken pot pies. Let me tell you, that food hit the spot. And don't even get me started on the mouth-watering cornbread. It was divine!

It was. I really wanted it. Regrettably, I took no pictures, as we were too busy savoring the moment. But let me tell you, this impromptu detour turned out to be the perfect pit stop on our journey back home Via wagon like via horseback. Yeah, like obviously this man is like the target demographic This is also definitely what a five star review sounds like he definitely out did roach Yeah, and didn't have to mention that he would totally screw Marie calendar Yeah, it just shows that men in cowboy hats are classy gentlemen. And men in Tommy Wiseau wigs are filthy pigs.

You can go download our full Yelp from Stranger's segment at our Patreon. The link for that is in the description of this episode, or you can go to patreon.com slash find outing podcast. And we're now offering a one week free trial so what do you have to lose? Go check it out people have wild opinions and we get to read oh so many of them. Thanks! Alright, we gotta put a score from Marie Calendars so that we can put it up on the Chachki of mediocrity and assign it its place in the pantheon of chain restaurants. Do you want to go first? Do you want me to?

I'll go first. Everything about the environment makes me sad. From the questionable neighborhood to the outdated architecture and interior design to the clientele that look like they've never experienced an ounce of good luck in their lives. I've been transported to that horror roadside diner where I'm the meal. Jesus, this went dark. Speaking the food, the pie broke my heart. Shitty murder diners are supposed to have amazing pie, aren't they?

Mm-hmm. But hey, at least we made it out alive without food poisoning. 4.54. All right, 4.54, we're actually pretty close on this. I didn't have the same extreme feelings that you seem to, and I'm honestly based on that right of surprise that this scored as high as it did from you. But, I mean, at this point, I'm just browsing my old ratings, and I thought this was

narrowly better than I liked our Buffalo Wild Wings experience, and mildly below our Chucky Cheese experience, because we had Emma there with us, and is a blast and it's Chuckie cheese gave a boost so I went 4.63 I didn't get any vibes of I'm gonna be murdered because if I did I definitely wouldn't have felt comfortable sleeping in the booth because that's a big Statement of trust and I definitely trust that my throat was not going to get slit. So when we put our ratings together, Marie Calender's restaurant in bakery goes up on the Chachki of mediocrity at 4.59. Oh, not quite as good as Apple G. Oh, please. Safely within the zone of mediocrity, we once again avoid a you must-bow punishment. That's kind of nice, right?

That's nice. But, even without a punishment, we gotta figure out where we're gonna go next week. No you must-bow, but the search...it continues, Garrett. We gotta keep going. So we gotta play a little game. Who gets to pick? Who gets to make that decision? Is it me?

Is it you? We gotta play the headline game! The rules of the headline game are as follows. Michael will present three headlines to Garrett that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up or they can be actual headlines. If Garrett can correctly guess, if at least two out of three are real or fake, he will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if Michael stumps him, he'll select again. Are you ready to play, fellas?

I'm ready. Okay. Marie calendars headline. Number one. WWE partnership with Marie calendars distributor Con Agra Brands culminates in pie in the sky later match this Sunday at WWE No Mercy Premium Live event. I believe it.

True. Marie calendars frozen shepherds pie recalled due to flexible I believe it. True. Marie calendars frozen shepherds pie recalled due to flexible plastic. I'm gonna go false. I know there was a recall. It wasn't shepherds pie now.

And lastly, it's a aesonine general manager of Mill Creek, Utah Marie calendars speaks out against statewide increase in minimum wage. True, it's a very conservative area. All right, Garrett. So WWE Partnership with Marie calendars distributor, Con Agra brands culminates in pie in the Sky Ladder Match

this Sunday at WWE No Mercy Premium Live event. You said true. That was false. However, WWE does have a partnership with Con Agra and they just did a Slim Jim Battle Royal at SummerSlam. I guess that makes sense. They've had this partnership. Well, WCW is the one that had the Macho Man Slim Jim partnership way back in the day.

Oh, okay, okay. Marie calendars, frozen shepherds pie, recalled due to flexible plastic, you said false. Marie calendars frozen shepherds pie recalled due to flexible plastic. You said false, that was true. There was also a chicken pot pie recall. I think that's what it is. There was a shepherds pie one and just the term flexible plastic made me laugh.

So you're already over two. You actually went over three. Last one, it's Assetanine General Manager of Mill Creek, Utah Marie calendars speaks out against statewide increase in minimum wage. You said true, I. Last one, it's Asinine General Manager of Mill Creek, Utah Marie calendar speaks out against statewide increase in minimum wage. You said true, I made that one up. Zero for three, I get to pick where we're going. Where are we gonna go?

Garrett, you know what's in two days? Friday the 13th, you talk about a murder diner? Yeah. Ooh, nothing bad's gonna happen if on Friday the 13th, we go to TGI Fridays. So 13th we go to TGI Fridays So we're gonna go to TGI Fridays for episode 40 and nothing battle happened. Yeah, nothing battle happened It'll yeah, so that does it for this week's episode of the fine dining podcast We really appreciate all of you for listening if you haven't yet written us a review on Apple podcasts do it

Do it we read them all. They make us very happy. Go check out our website, finddiningpodcast.com. Send us out on social media, TikTok, and Instagram at Find Dining Podcasts. Send us an email, FindDiningPodcast at gmail.com. Go to our Patreon. We give you an additional episode every single month, including the conclusion of last month's September or tournament.

But you know what? Above all else, have a fine day. I'll strive to search and continue So our journey did not conclude Mother Earth and search continues Rattles and I too's review And hey, while you're at it Why don't you go ahead and make it five stars? Come on Follow us on TikTok The same on Instagram, all the socials at Find Dining Podcast. We have a website Find DiningPodcast.com by our t-shirts, then put them on.

And don't forget, you can always suggest where we go next. Okay, we're going to find it. Media-crafting, the search continues See you next week I heard my throat a little Have a fine day