Fine Dining - My Go-To Domino's Pizza Order, An Incredible Dessert, & Are They Better than the Competition?

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

🍕📊🍴 Domino's Pizza Review: Three Pizzas, Vibes, & Getting  Deputized 🍴📊🍕 Season 4 continues as James Werner (@jamesyjoehenry) returns for Part 2 of our Domino's Pizza episode, this time putting the pizza where the mouth is. We actually ate inside a Domino's, sat at a real table, and watched the pies come together from what can only be described as the Young Pizza Inspector overlook. With all-star service, we break Domino's down category by category to see if it can clear the Chili's bar. 🍕 Reviewing the Full Spread (and Absolutely No Salad) 🔥 BBQ Chicken Pizza, Ultimate Pepperoni, and Pan Pizza with Pepperoni, Bacon, & Garlic 🍝 Penne Pasta, Garlic Bread Bites, Cinnamon Bread Bites, and Chocolate Lava Cake 🏆 James Is the Champion of Shouting People Out 🎨 Decor That Made Us Wish We Could Vandalize the Walls 👀 Deputized to Inspect Pizzas 🍕 Yes, I Do Crave Pizza Despite Not Liking Cheese ✈️ James' Worst Restaurant Experience Ever Involved an Airport Sandwich 🍌 His Best Experience Was Weighted by Flashiness of Bananas Foster 📊 The Final Score: Is Domino's Better or Worse Than Chili's? 💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's your go-to Domino's order? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, extended Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@thefinediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: James Werner | IG: @jamesyjoehenry   Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, Aaron Hubbard, Steff, Robert McLaughlin, & Jewell Hermann   👉 NEXT WEEK: I head to BJ's Restaurant & Brewhouse with comedian PJ McCormick and dive into their history (including pretty dumb etymology).

Is Domino's pizza superior to Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, and Little Caesars? The pepperonian bacon pan style pizza was so good I could feel my inside smiling, but the wall decor filled me with insurmountable thomo. The lava cakes were indeed hot and sweet, but the barbecue chicken pizza has lost its steam. They deputized me as a young pizza inspector, making me feel like a special little boy, But wiping the floor after I spilled my sprite made me realize just how dirty a domino's floor can be. As a child of the 1990s, my Friday nights meant two things, renting an Adam Sandler movie from Blockbuster Video and ordering a Domino's pizza.

Does the magic of a domino's pepperoni pie still exist when it's noon on a Monday and I'm 37 years old? Is the pizza brand whose name is a perfect metaphor for toppling over, still palatable to a guy who's tasted a slice from the low? literal pizza world champion. Stay tuned. This is the Fine Dining Podcast. Your table's ready. Take your seat.

The flavor of the day is mediocrity to try a pie. Hello and welcome back to fine dining, the quest to compare all restaurants to Chili's. I am your host, Michael Ornellis, and this is the first podcast in the freaking world to discover that Chili's is the most mediocre restaurant in America. And if you want to know if an establishment is objectively good or not good, you got to see how it stacks up to the baby back, baby back, baby back, behemoth. By the end of this very episode, we will answer the question everyone was wondering four days after the disappearance of the Titan submersible, is eating at Dominoes better than eating at Chili's? We found a

dominoes with seating in the waiting area and can actually answer that question. Today, we're going to tell you everything that was good, not good, and just there about our meal at Domino's before we give it a score at the end of the episode. And joining me today to discuss Domino's is an actor, improviser who you can see at the legendary Upright Citizens Brigade Theater with his team Tattletail, a musician who's in

two separate bands named Knees and Trees, and he's the embodiment of the way it feels to wake up well-rested. It's James Werner. I love you, man. That was awesome. That made me really happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny you say that about waking up.

I don't feel that way. in my body. I don't either. But maybe that's, I'm honored to be that. But on days that I do wake up being like, oh my gosh, I just feel good.

Yeah. That's you. That's you. Thanks, Michael. We ate at dominoes. We did. And I think I was speculating while we were there. Maybe a thousand people in the world have eaten in a dominoes and fewer with the

intent. Yeah. Yeah. We established that. If you're eating at a dominoes, it's not planned typically. Probably. It's like what you said was you're probably on your way to a movie or something.

I can't bring this in. I can't bring it in the theater. And so you end up sitting at the domino's tables. And it's a scarfing. Yeah. It's not like, oh, I'm here to enjoy myself. Right. I'm scarfing.

But when you're in there, you might look around and be like, huh, they put some thought into this. Yeah. Okay. They did think that someone was going to eat in here at some point. Yeah. I liked it more than I expected. So let's frame this from the beginning in positivity and talk about everything that was good about eating at Domino's. Mm-hmm. This is it good done like it should be. There's stuff that spank or licking the land in this is good. I knew that you could.

I thought that the most immediate good thing, Claudia was a superstar. Yes. I was going to include her in my sort of limerick thing. You have a limer. Oh, yeah, it's not. Your intro. Limerick? Can you imagine?

I'm like, this thing was good about Domino's, but this thing was bad. And you just went there once was a man from Nantucket. We should make a limerick. We'll do that post. That would be for the Patreon people. We'll make a limerick. We'll do a Claudia. Cloudia limerick, yeah.

No, but she was great. Super helpful, super patient with us. There was a Domino's worker. named Claudia. She made me feel like she was never doubting you. She took our order real quick and did it real slick and made me feel like outside wasn't cloudy, yeah? Whoa, there's a lot there.

There's a lot there. You sort of added like a Playboy Cardi ad lib at the end. Made it feel like it wasn't cloudy, yeah. Yeah. That's what I do. Yeah. That or she made sure that the vibe wasn't rowdy. Oh.

There's a lot. You mean, we could do a whole rap song. Yeah. Yeah. I also liked. And her ethnicity didn't seem Saudi. It didn't.

It didn't seem Saudi. It seemed like some like sort of like Latino. Yeah. Yeah. You decide if you want to leave that in or not. I will. Okay. Good.

Yeah. I also like that she said that or she made it seem like she wasn't doubting yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like that it's almost like you're thinking she wasn't doubting me. Any of us? Yeah. Like the royal year.

Yeah. Like I think that she just had a positive demeanor for everyone. Genuinely, she was the exact type of, I won't say server. Like if I'm getting like table service, I want something that someone that's like a little bit more like banter heavy. But like for a cashier position. Yeah. She is the perfect employee that I want to interact with. And again, very patient.

A pro's pro. Mm-hmm. She's like, if you are a professional. professional cashier and you get served by her, she'll do the little things. Oh, for sure. Yep. Yep. She was, it was like spot on. This is why you're there and I'm behind the table. Yeah. Given us all the options being like, did you mean that you wanted this? Yeah. You know, I was like, wait, hold on. Like, I'm, I'm not looking necessarily for the Buffalo chicken pizza. I'm looking for the barbecue chicken pizza. We had mid-order adjustment. Yes, we did.

We had edits to things that were three items ago. Yep. And did any mistakes happen when our order came out? No. No. No. And no, no attitude, no like. Claudia, I'm never doubting yeah.

I'm never doubting yeah. Yeah. And you make it so the guys aren't cloudy, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Gang, gang, gang. But yeah, no. That was definitely, I mean, I immediately walked in and I noticed photos. of like old school domino stuff.

And I had one that was a black and white photo of the exterior of Dominic's pizza. I didn't even notice the name was different in there. You know what? And I include that in the good just because I just wasn't expecting anything. I wasn't expecting any pictures by merely having no positive expectation. Yeah. I had really, I think that maybe is something we're circling around, which is like I think we both. I mean, I had low expectations.

going in there. I didn't. But I've been in this, I've picked up from this Dominoes before. Okay, I've never been, as I said to you, I've never actually been in a Domino's.

I've only ordered online. I'm from that generation of, of college students. Can we do a limerick about you never having been in the Dominoes? Yes. There was a man who'd never been in Dominoes. When he made his Christmas restaurant,

he called his Mominos. He, was super surprised by the size of their pies and exclaimed holy babaminos that was perfect

yeah perfect I don't think there was any note that I could have given to improve that there's also a really long ellipsies in the middle of the whimrick yeah where you're just sort of like is it over

you gave us a post credit scene just now yeah yeah a stinger like a marvel stinger yeah like oh nick fury's recruiting me um yeah i yeah i just uh the photos like they had uh presumably one of the monahan brothers tossing a pizza up yeah they had some like they were just packing boxes but they had mustache so you knew it was the 80s and uh it was the volks wagon one of them i didn't see that i didn't see that yeah I didn't see that. There were only four pictures. I might be thinking of the Wikipedia page. Yeah. Yeah. Um, because I spent time on that. Yeah.

I'm looking at that. Yeah. He does his research. I do my research as whatever you just said. I did do it. That's not what you, it's different than research. Yeah. Honestly, probably what I do.

Um, yeah. Uh, what else do I have written as good? I have plenty. I mean, I, young pizza inspector. That was exactly what I was about to say. Yeah. That was a really fun. There were a lot of interactive things, you know.

They seem to like put thought into your experience standing waiting for your pizza. And I genuinely love that. I feel like there is a type of person who might walk in and be a little jaded of like, well, this is, you know, whatever. No, it only brought me enjoyment. I was like, this is great for a kid who it's intended for. It's great for us who are kids at heart. Yep. You know, you like stepped up and you're like, you got to check out this vantage point.

Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah, they have like a little two step up thing. It said pizza inspector. Yeah, it says to get to watch the dough show. Yep. Which immediately feels like the fat guy version of the gun show. You know, like a muscular person.

Like you want to take it to the gun show and they start flexing. Yeah. As a chubby boy, I feel like I'm showing off the dough show. Yeah. And I feel like I'm being put up on a pedestal and I'm like, hey, everyone. look love handles yeah it's like it's like it's like it's like it's like a kung fu panda line yeah welcome to the do show welcome to the do show dojo yeah there you go and you coined that no and i was not going to say anything but i had to i was going to let you have it i give credit you're

doing a shout out doing a shout out to you yeah and elijah watch the other episode yeah watch part one means yeah um no that was a i was like you know what I'm going to step up these stairs and I'm going to do it immediately. That was their stairway to heaven. And it really did feel like it when I was up there because I'm six foot two. And that thing was made for someone who is like four feet tall. Less three feet tall. Yeah.

For being odd. We saw a kid come in there and went straight to it. Like this is my favorite part of going to Domino's. It had a little ramp. I mean, the one thing for the kids is like they have to look at the glass that's there. I'm just standing there, like looking into the kitchen, like some sort of like surveillance camera. And I'm an average sized king.

I'm a mid-sized king. So I'm like, you know, I'm right at that like 5-8-5-9 cusp. I'm 5-8 and three quarters, you know? The world was made for me. Yeah. But I don't get to feel confident ever. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like that mix. And so you, you're like, oh, I'm already seeing over the. this me I'm like this does help oh like for my height I was not looking over the glass but then when you took the steps up when I took the steps up I was like yeah I was in the watchtower and how did it feel for you when you were up there was in the crow's nest yeah oh great yeah um it was it was exhilarating you know when you're a child and uh like a dad or an uncle like puts you on their shoulders yes and you're like oh my gosh is this is this what it's like to be this tall I got to feel that Oh, yeah.

I got to feel what it's like to be a few inches taller than me. And who would have known that that's something you would have gotten from being in a domino's? Yeah. I went in and Claudia lovingly was like, you want up-ease? Mm-hmm. You want up-ease? Basically. And I was like, I want up-ease.

Yeah. And then was completely like everyone in the kitchen was like didn't care that we were up there. They're like, yeah, we have that there. Yeah. This is happening before. Yeah. Like we're not phased. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. They didn't care. It was great. And then I love the phrasing of Young Pizza Inspector. Yes. That's just like, it's fun. Which we commented would be a great rap name. Yeah.

Young Pizza Inspector. Yeah. Young just spelled without the O. Either way. Yeah. Yeah. You could have multiples. Young PI.

Young PI. Oh my gosh. Young PI, Young Pizza Investigator. Young PI coming to Fox this fall. But it's pizza. It's the doogie houseer of detective work. For pizza. Yeah.

For pizza. He's a PI and he's a PI and a PI. And he loves pizza. This is one weakness. Okay. Food. Yes. With a bullet.

Pepperoni, bacon, garlic, pan style pizza. This is what I order. This is my domino's order. And we got it. Square cut. I don't need slices. I like the square cut because one, especially if I'm getting variety, it helps me with Porsche. I don't have to commit to a full eighth of the thing.

Interesting. I can commit to a 16th of it. Yeah, I didn't think about that. It also creates the element of corners. Yep. I love the corners. I love the corners. Me too.

Yeah. I learned a lot. They're a little bit crispier, right? And then I got it well done. So like a little extra toast. I didn't notice that. I didn't know you got it well done. Because I feel like on the pan style pizza, it does tend to get a little undercooked.

It tends to be a little doughier. So I feel like this holds it accountable. Totally. Like, no, no, no. Finish your work. Mm-hmm. You know. Yeah.

Finish what you started. Yeah. And I was, to be honest, pretty skeptical when you threw out this order. I was like, really? Like bacon and garlic? All right. You know, I'm down. I'm going to try your thing.

Yeah. And I was converted. I loved it. And it wasn't the only time. No? You left today a Christian. I left today a Christian. I didn't know the Holy Ghost was so ever.

present in dominoes. We'll get there. Yeah, we'll get there. Yeah. I think that this pizza is the pinnacle of the big four. When you go to a... Who, Papa Johns? A Little Caesars, a Pizza Hut, or a Domino's.

I think this pizza is the best available at any of those places. Oh my gosh. That's big praise, though, coming from you. Yeah. I mean, people really care about your opinion on this stuff. So... I'm an expert. This is a huge cosign.

for dominoes. I'm just saying. I'm just saying what the people are thinking. I mean, and I will say as someone who went in and tried it, I mean, I have been a fan of the corners on square pizzas. So I was already sort of woke to that. But the bacon, the garlic, the extra toasting. Because the bacon is just crumbles.

It's like, I think if it was like strips, it would be weird. But the crumbles, it's almost like a garnish more than like. a full on topping. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And the pan, the pan pizza, that really is the way to go. I think if you're going to Domino's.

Yeah. I went, I originally gave it a nine out of ten. And then I was like, I've had New York pizza. That's crazy. And I backed it down. I backed it down to an eight out of ten to give this a realistic fast food scoring. Eight out of ten is phrasing where I would say, this was great. This was a great pizza.

It's not excellent. It's not like in the conversation. station for best pizza ever. That's where the nines. That's where the tens gets you. You know, I've been to one of my favorite places is Joe's pizza in New York City. I love Joe's. I think Joe's is so good. You're not getting Joe's quality at any of the fast food pizza places. But for the fast food places, this is like tops. But don't you think you're not really looking for that experience if you're going to? It's a different expectation. It's a different it's a different It's you're scratching.

Yeah. I would completely agree. I give it a solid eight. Solid eight out of ten. Yeah. Great. Great pizza. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I real, the top for me of today, which I was a little surprised by garlic bites. Oh. I mean, the highest one was lava. The lava. The lava cake. Yeah. I mean, you know, garlic bites.

We can talk about those in a second. Yeah. I do not have them in the good. Yeah. That's kind of, that's interesting. But the lava, the chocolate lava crunch cakes. So what I thought, one, we got to these late in our meal. They had been sitting on our table for a while.

And yet they still had a melty gooey texture in the center. So these maintained their heat remarkably. The texture was perfect. It felt gooey where it needed to. And it was just solid enough that it kept its form. I hate it when something that's gooey just turns into a pudding puddle in front. of you, but this stayed edible. It stayed formed the whole time. The intention of the lava cake remained. Yes. It's, it, it, withstood the test of time. Dare I say, had we eaten it earlier,

maybe when it was hotter, it might have crumbled into bush. We may have gotten it at that perfect apex point. Yep. Yeah. I agree. I mean, I ate a whole one. Yeah. I thought you were going to say we ate it late in the meal and I still ate a full one. I mean, I had eaten a lot of dominoes. Please. There's no judgment for me on any of that. Can't believe how much this guy ate? Oh, my God. I had eaten a substantial amount of dominoes, got to that thing. You took a bite and you were like, I think I'm just going to have a bite and you're like,

you know what? I'm going to have more than a bite. And then I had a whole one. And you know what? A memory from deep in my recess is coming to me and race for it because there's another shout out coming. Shout out to Oliver and Clyde, which is I swear. I don't know if you can you swear on this podcast?

Yeah. I shoot you not that this, this was the first time I ever had a Domino's lava cake was in, was out of sleepover with these two. Yeah. In the Frank Gehry building in New York. And I almost had a Ratatouille moment. Shout out to your shirt. When I had this lava cake.

Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? Like where Anton Ego takes a bite. Oh, Anton Ego. And it goes like, well, learns to love again. Yeah. And he gets flasked. Back to his childhood.

Yeah. I had one of those. So this to me was excellent. Yeah. Like I gave this an excellent score of the Lava King. I gave it a nine. Yeah. I gave it a nine too.

Yeah. Yeah. I think the chocolate and the powder were delicious. And powder is almost never ratioed right. Like a powdered sugar. Yep. It's always, it dries it out. And I feel like it rarely adds to the thing that it's on.

I don't think it's an inherently bad ingredient, but I never see it used. right and here it was no notes. I don't have any notes. Like the only thing this thing could have done better was just be made by a place that isn't a fast food restaurant. Yeah, that's it. Like the same item at like a Maastro's or something. This is a 10 out of 10 thing. And isn't that the best compliment you can like give something? Is it's like you fulfilled the highest that you could be. Yeah. Yeah. At a fast food restaurant, I don't think it's like sometimes like after an improv scene, someone's like, man, that felt like a written sketch. Yeah. It's like when someone's like when Someone accuses you of writing your improv.

There is no better compliment. It means I nailed everything cleanly. Right. Everything that could have been good here was good. Yeah. Yeah. Trim the fat. The fat never came out.

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I loved these. And I'm going to go in a direction that you may not expect. You say it gave you that ratatooy, nostalgic moment of like it reminded you of something where you had that experience with this and you had it again, right? I've never had a good experience. with these. This is my first time being like, oh my God, these are amazing. Every other time I've

had them, they were either too dry or they were too mush. And so from Domino's. From Domino's. And so the texture being nailed in this one made me like see like, I've misjudged you, my friend. Like that kind of, you know, I, I forgave it. This is going to be your ratatooey moment in like in the future. 20 years. But I have another good one. I'm going to be like, I ate dominoes in a dominoes. With James. Yeah. On a Monday.

On a Monday. Yeah. And I was 37. And you'll be telling this story to your grandkids. I'll be like, we don't care. Maybe not at that point. I don't know if you want to be a grandpa at that age. Find out.

Yeah. Wait, what age? Stay tuned. I guess you'd be 57. So, I mean, I'd have to have a kid now. And then they need to have a kid. Yeah. Within the next 20 years.

I don't think you'd. It would be. just your kids. And then those kids would need to be old enough to understand my story. They're infants. Yeah, I'm whispering to them in their crib. I like that timeline. Hey, remember when I went to Domino's with James, I just had a molten lava cake downstairs from Domino's. And it reminded me of that time. Anyways, I'm so proud of you and what you could become. I want to see the AI animated that you're saying is going to happen. Just me whispering real close to an infant's face.

Yeah. And I have wrinkles. The AI version. Yeah. Okay, but I don't want to sell short the other dessert. Oh, yeah. Of course. We got cinnamon bites.

So Domino's has transitioned from twists to bites. I don't know why. I liked the twists. The twists were actually a very fun, very dippable shape. Yeah. And they've changed it to just like bread pellets, I guess. and the dipping sauce is the same. They have a frosting for this one.

I appreciate that it's not a cream cheese frosting. It's just like straight up in icing. I love that. And the cinnamon and specifically the dough. The dough was the right amount of soft. Yeah. The dough was the right amount of yeasty was a word that I used to detract from the garlic bites because I felt like it just tasted hollow.

It didn't have enough flavor throughout. These did not have that problem, which, confuses me because I imagine that they start off as the same thing before they're coated in either garlic or cinnamon. So I don't know why that happened. But maybe something to how like the dessert version is cooked versus the appetizer version. Yeah. Probably have a slightly different process. Maybe speculation. These worked for me. And I'm going to say these worked for me every bit as much as the chocolate crunch cakes. Just deliciously soft and gooey. I went nine out of ten as well. Wow. Yeah. You know, I still thought they were great. I gave them a 7.5.

I still thought they were great. Happy with it. I think there was one thing because I want to be a true critic here. The aftertaste was a little weird. I didn't notice that. I had a little bit of weirdness from the icing. Oh, okay. In the bite, perfect.

Yeah. After I got a little bit of that synthetic sugar taste in my mouth, which I think as a way that my body operates. rates by default, even if I haven't eaten anything recently, I think my body is coded with that. Yeah. So I don't think that registers to me anymore. Yes. That's actually not true.

I very much notice that kind of thing. I didn't hear it. I thought what you were going to say is that's because it's synthetic sugar. Probably. Oh, yeah. Like, which is also true. Like, I think, I think that that's what they're like, yeah, what did you think you think you were going to get?

Yeah. But still, I thought, I mean, they're great. They're classic. You know, I'm, I'm more used to. to the cinnamon bread. Yeah. The cheesy bread. Yeah.

Then the bites. And I, I, there's, there's a difference there. Yeah. There's a bit of a difference there. But I, I think that's the, that's how you know the icing stuff is so good. Domino's used to have like the garlic, like just straight up like pull apart bread. Mm-hmm. That used to be like the pinnacle of like, I love those.

I love that. They got rid of them in flavor of the twist. In favor of, in favor of the twists. Mm-hmm. And now that they've abandoned that and gone to bites. They felt like each one has been a step down. I agree. So I feel like it's just like a standardization thing or like it's easier on us or we want to make less effort.

No, make the effort because we like it. We like it. That's all I have in the good. That's not all I have in the good. And I know you have your, your bites. Yes. But this is your first real experience maybe or maybe you haven't done it much with crushed red pepper. Yes.

And that became a conversation a little bit. which surprised me, but I mean, maybe it shouldn't. I don't know. It's definitely not something that everyone has, but. Well, they give it to you at most places. You know, at the classic pizza spots, they give you the parmesan cheese. They give you the crushed red pepper flakes. Am I saying that correctly?

Yeah, yeah. And this was my, I mean, I really truly can't remember another time that I've had those. So when you were like, okay, try my style panace. pizza and then I saw you adding those on I thought now's a better time than that when in Rome. Yeah. So I tried it and and I would. When in Rome eat dominoes. When in Rome eat dominos. The Italians do. That's how they intended it. That's how they like it with red pepper flakes. Yeah. And I would say that gave that made my pan pizza teeter into excellence. Oh, okay. So it improved. It was a huge plus. Yeah. As I mentioned to you, I am a fan of spice. I cannot

handle it. So I think I was nervous. Was it on the spicy? Like, I think it's pretty mild. Oh, there was, I actually didn't even really

notice it too much. Great. So it kind of just made it, made me feel a bit more cool. And it gave it a little bit more texture. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.

Uh, yeah, I think that all checks out for me. Yeah. Yeah. So to the garlic bites. Talk about them. I really enjoyed them.

I, I just love the marinera sauce at Domino's. Yeah. I think you could dip anything in that. I order it every time I order from Domino's because I dip my crusts in it. Exactly. It is really ethical when you think about it in terms of minimizing food waste. It's an incentive to eat all of all of what you have.

I mean, I eat my crust anyways, but I do too. But some folks, you see those plates that are just littered with with crusties. And you know what? It just tastes one little thing of marinerer for it to be like, hey, your crust, now a fun snack. It's now basically pizza. Yeah. It's now like, even better for you because there's no cheese. Yeah. It's the best parts of pizza. Yeah. So I, I'm a huge fan of that marinera sauce. And I think the garlic bites are a great receptacle for those. Your mouth is the receptacle.

They're the vehicle. They're the vehicle. My mouth is the receptacle. Yeah. I want to be very clear. I view your mouth. as a receptacle. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. I can't wait to listen back to, for a number of reasons, but to like hear how, how I was wrong. Like, like, how the garlic bites being a receptacle is wrong.

Because they're not a container. A receptacle is a container. I guess you could argue maybe they're a receptacle for the mariner sauce. That is what you argued. What do you mean? You didn't even refurb. phrase it. You just did the same thing again. That's my take.

That's my take. Garlic bites are receptacles for marineria sauce. My mouth is a receptacle for the garlic sauce. Yeah, with the marineria. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Stop. Okay. You're done. And I am. I am. That's sort of my thing.

I didn't have a, I didn't really, and I had one bite that was particularly buttery in a good way. Okay. However, that was where I said, I need to stop. Especially if I have more food to eat. That was a limit breaker. It was a little, it was, it was buttery in a good way, but in a way where I was like, if that, I would, I, you, you hope that buttery bite is your last one.

Yeah. You're not hoping for more food after that. That really sounded like a, then you step out of the store and you like get hit by a car or something. That was my last one. That was the best one I've ever had or the last one. Yeah. What would you score the garlic bites? Garlic bites I gave I'd say seven.

You say seven. Okay. Yeah. I'll tell you how I felt about them. But first, we need to transfer to the next segment, the not good. I didn't like these. And it wasn't even that I thought they were just there. They were so disappointing because of how much I used to love that, like,

bread, the pull-aparte bread that it used to be. And I know that like the family tree of this item was that. So I'm like, great. That thing that I used to get all the time that was like reliably an eight and a half or eight out of ten thing then became the knots or the twists or whatever. And the twists in that form, I think, worked better for the dessert one. For some reason, it just felt more removed from being a breadstick. It felt more removed from being this thing that I had nostalgic value for, that I liked. And I thought it stepped down to like a consistent six and a half to seven out of ten. And now they're puffs.

And I think part of the reason that I don't like it as much, the twist had a lot of exterior by nature of being time. and I think the best part of this is that outside part. Where you're a puff, you're mostly the puff part. You're the inside breading. But all the flavoring is on the outside. So you're just connecting with less surface area that is seasoned and more surface area that is unseasoned.

And so that's why I think it's gotten progressively worse. And then the original breadstick, that seasoning somehow just seeped, through the thing. So it was like all seasoning and I was like great. I love garlic. Give me that. So this just felt hollow is the word that I want to use. It didn't taste yeasty enough. It just tasted like it not even tasted like. It just felt like there was bread in my mouth. Yeah. Which I love bread, but I love flavorful bread. Right. I love rich bread. Yeah. This wasn't that for me. For my taste. For what my preferences. And it lost that nostalgia. And it lost the nostalgia because

it's less recognizable, right? So this was not terrible. This is more of like, I have to declare that I'm disappointed. And my score for it is that cussed between not good and just there. I gave it a four out of ten. But I'm putting it in the not good. So the Domino's really takes time to reflect and think about what they've done. Yes.

This is like a parent telling you to do better. I still believe in you. I know that you have what it takes. I've seen you at your best. I've seen you exemplify what you're capable of. Yeah. And in this case, you let me down. And I, can I, I want to transition into my bad from that because it's a very similar message I'm trying to send to Domino's, which is I'm a huge fan of your barbecue chicken pizza.

Huge fan. Today, I ordered it and it wasn't a pan pizza. I didn't realize that was necessary for the... You got it, we got it traditional. Yes. Yeah. And I was taken aback. Yeah.

I mean, this is what I would order. Some would say, Josh, Dane, Sachi won't go on. As if I say, Sachi hasn't been mentioned since the first name draft around. No, I missed her in the second. I'm going to hear about that. They would say, maybe I've ordered hundreds of Domino's pizzas. Yeah. Most all of them have been barbecue chicken.

Yeah. Pan pizzas. I was so appalled by the traditional because the bread, it was like, it was like, sort of like that cold cardboardy taste. Yeah. And I was really bummed because even the pepperoni pizza, which we'll talk about at a certain point. Yeah. spices and herbs on it. Yeah, yeah.

Why are those not there for the, for the barbecue chicken? Yeah. Did I have to specify? Maybe I missed specifying that. I think because you went into customizing zone, it was like now you're responsible for every element of it versus being like, oh, you offer this barbecue chicken pizza. Let me just order that. And they're like, cool, we have a default for that.

This was a build your own. So I think then that's, that's why I would give it a four and I would go on the bad side of four. Yeah. More to just send a message. Yeah. A, inform your customer base that they need to really customize that pizza. Yeah.

Or else you're going to make it bland. Yeah. B, step it up with the bread. Even for the people who don't know to customize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, there's got to be. I mean, that was where. You mean the crust, right?

The crust. Okay. No, I mean the crust. Yeah. I sort of am going off of what you said about the bread and using that because it felt like that was my experience of the traditional of the traditional barbecue chicken pizza. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I wrote in the not good visually the barbecue chicken pizza.

Look, it's no secret that I'm not a fan of cheese. I do one of these when I eat pizza. I kind of just cover my eyes and I plow through it. And to me, it's more functionally and adhesive to hold. all the elements together. Yeah. I don't like pizzas that are excessively cheesy.

I will not eat a pizza where it's like the piles of like ricotta or what like the. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. When it's clumped. The barata. Barada.

Yeah. I won't do those. I don't want it. I don't want a bite of what I know is just concentrated cheese. Can I ask you a quick question? Yeah. This is a lot.

This is for me and your viewers, your fans. Do you ever crave pizza? Yeah. Like outside of this, this whole game. Yeah, I love pizza. You do?

Yeah. So this cheese thing is something that you deal with in your day to day. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't say I have pizza daily. Right, right. Yeah, I do really love pizza at some places. And look, I know my cheese thing is psychological. I am certain that there are some cheeses out there because they're just, I know they're an array, they're different. I am certain that there's some that I could eat and I would love.

but there is a mental barrier between one conceptually I find cheese gross like it just feels like it felt like something went bad and someone was like hey I dare you to eat that and then they didn't know oh it's actually I like this uh and I'm not I'm not here for that yeah um and and just some things of like I can't get past smells sometimes yes and I do find cheese to to smell a certain way. And like, it doesn't help that like, oh, it smells like cheese is something that people use that even people who like cheese used to call something stinky. Or when they say like, oh, Parmesan smells like feet. Okay. Why are you all about it then? That's great. Why are we doing side packets of feet sprinklings and putting them on pizza? To me, there's just a disconnect that everyone else is able to just look past that I am not

wired that way. So, yeah, it is psychological. I get it. I know that. I know that. And I, and I, look, it's, but you still, it's my body. I'm not, I'm not stopping you from having cheese. Absolutely not. You know, you encouraged it today. Yeah. You took me to Domino's.

Took you to, yeah, yeah, a cheese place. To a cheese place. In some ways. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that's kind of where I'm at on it. Yeah. But this barbecue chicken pizza had like piles of like yellow and white and like the cheddar on it was just like visually. I was like, I just don't think I can. It was a lot. Even for me.

I couldn't do it. Yeah. And I respect that. Yeah. So, yeah. Not being able to do the word search without vandalizing. Okay, I wrote that down. Yeah.

So when we walk into this place on the wall to the right, there's honestly fun decor. There's like a maze. Like, it looks like a kid's menu. It looks like a big blown up kids menu. There's a word search. Find the word jalapeno. Find the word bacon. Find the word anchovy.

Whatever it is, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm not allowed. Yeah. No one is. No. If I grabbed a pen and started circling the words, just doing what it was asking me to do, sir, I need to ask you to leave.

Sir, please stop. I would get surred real hard. You get sured. And I don't want to get sured. No, no one wants to get sured or maimed. No one really wants to get sured or maimed, especially nowadays. No. When you don't want to be assuming people's genders.

And it gave me phone. Yeah. I felt like you're putting this like I love puzzles. Yeah. I'm I'm I'm 95% sure I am at least mildly on the spectrum. Yeah. I'm all I love puzzles. You know. Hey, me too. And I hate eye contact. Like those are my two things. Yeah. Unless it's you and I get lost. But like it's very learned. Like when I when I look somebody in the eye, it is like I'm counting to three and I'm like and then blink and then that's normal way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very calculated for me. No, I'm the same. I love Legos. Yeah. I'm also like Rubik's guy. Yeah.

I'm always trying to solve that stuff. Yeah. No. And we thought like, why not make it a dry erase situation? Why not get some markers? I would be so for that. Yeah. Yeah.

That would, I mean, and the maze, there's also a maze. And then the little boy who comes in to be that young pizza inspector, young PI. When young PI strolls through the doors. he's got his like custom Gucci shades and his custom Prada dry erase marker He's just he's circling those advanced words I found pepperoni yeah

And and and in record time And then everyone's happy Yeah in that establishment Yeah But this makes you even wonder If there's even words to search for Or did you just really just put up a bunch of letters And just assume no one's gonna care

Oh they're there Oh you looked I stared I at least found jalapeno Oh nice that's a day good job yeah yeah i i i you know what i i'll throw in one uh that is not a non food bad but it's not puzzle edging not puzzle edging yeah bathroom out of order bathroom out of order you know i didn't need to but had i needed to not fun i i i i did feel the need oh and i spelled

it with a k i felt the need yeah i i didn't put that in the good but i let's let's let's let's Let's actually backchap slightly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They had a tip jar that said, we need dough, but it's need like, K-N-E-A-D, dough, you know. Yeah, that's so good. That's pretty good. And what about that door sign at the front of the, at the front door? That's in just there.

Okay, yeah. Yeah. Okay, that means sense. I don't know. That's a positive. That makes sense. I know. I have one that's sort of like that.

Yeah. And just there. Yeah, but otherwise for bad, I, yeah, I mean, I can't really think of anything. else. Oh, and then my last thing. I did knock over a little bit of my Sprite. Right. And when I went to wipe the puddle on the floor, so much dirt was on the napkin.

And I was like, and look, I don't expect the floor of a restaurant like this to be like spotless. Any restaurant. Any restaurant. But the confirmation is just like unpleasant. Yeah. So, yeah. It's really not a big hygiene knock. They had an A rating.

They had an A rating. And honestly, I care more about the. cleanliness of the kitchen. Yeah. Then the floor at a table that no one actually eats at. Right. You know? It was probably dust.

But I noticed it. Yeah. I, I, I, when you brought that up to me, that was definitely not good. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, that's all for you. And that's all for me. All right.

We're going to get to that middle zone. Let's talk about everything that was just there. This is a weird one. I sure what to say about it. The stuff that is. Number one for me, the Italian sausage marinerer, Peney pasta. And you're going to say it.

Nothing I have ever eaten has been a more five and a half out of ten dish than this. And you know my rating was exactly the same. Five and a half? It was what it needed to be. This was potluck food. Yes. This was giving potluck. This is like, oh, I don't cook that well.

Let me bring this to the potluck. Yeah. I'll go pick it up from Domino's. People will think I made it because no one respects me as a cook, you know? And they'll be like, did you make this? I'm like, hmm, yeah. Totally. And it was serviceable.

Yeah. There was, I think what I said to you was there's things that I thought were going to be bad that are good. And there's things that I thought that were going to be good that are bad about this pasta. Yeah. I wasn't expecting to enjoy the sweetness of it. I like that it was a little sweet. Yeah. The mariner.

Well, their marinera in general is a little bit sweeter. Yes. I didn't. I, that's something I don't really notice when it's on the other stuff, when it's on the crust and the bites. because those things are so salty that it counteracts. But then here comes the sort of not great part. The pasta was just so bland. The pasta was bland, but it wasn't like bad.

No. It was just plain. It was a receptacle for you shut your receptacle. What am I thinking? What am I trying to say? Vehicle. I did think that the sausage, you may, mentioned the icing tasting a little bit synthetic.

The sausage tasted a little. Yeah. Off isn't even, that's too harsh for what I mean. Yeah. But it's not inaccurate. Yeah, no, I agree. It was fun. It wasn't a deterrent.

Yeah. It was meat. I was like, I'm eating some meat. Yeah. But it was like, oh. Yeah. It's not quite right. Yeah.

The ultimate pepperoni. Yeah. Let's talk about it. I thought I was getting something else. I thought that. I was just getting So I use the Domino's app a lot And when you order a pizza

I'll do traditional crust or I'll do the pan crust And you can add ingredients And then you can toggle to the left or the right Do you want it light or do you want it extra Extra is a double portion? Light is like hey I don't want too much of this And I will often do double pepperoni Because I think Domino's has pretty decent pepperoni

For at least for what it is, right? And I'll do a double order of it. I thought we were getting double pepperoni. I didn't realize that the ultimate pepperoni had layered pepperoni. It had tomato sauce, pepperoni, cheese, more pepperoni. Oh, wow. So this was like the lasagna of pizzas. Yeah.

And it kind of came at me in a place where, one, it was sharing real estate with that Buffalo barbecue chicken pizza, or not Buffalo, the barbecue chicken pizza, which visually, I was like, couldn't do it. Because we did half and half. Yeah. And that includes the sauce. The pizza was half barbecue soft, half marinera sauce. Yep.

And so this just from like a texture standpoint wasn't what I have come to expect from the traditional domino's crust. And so it was a miscalculation on my part of what this would be. It was an unawareness of what I was actually ordering. Yeah. The ultimate pepperoni is different from ordering double pepperon. Yeah. Which I know reliably I like. Yeah. This one, much in the same way that the garlic bites were a four out of ten that's on the cusp of good and not good and just there. This was a six out of ten. So it's on the cusp of good. Yes. But to send a message, I'm putting it in just there. I was like, I was in five, six territory. Yeah. I definitely agree. I was not expecting it. I think I even got a slice. that was not even that. It wasn't even a layer of pepperoni underneath.

I just got like a clump of pepperoni. Clump might be what I'm thinking. Yeah, I just got one clump. And I assumed layers? Yeah. Yeah. It was good. It was good.

I mean, I definitely like the crust better than the barbecue chicken. I love pepperoni pizza. I too. But, you know, it just wasn't, I think maybe if they took the word ultimate off. Yeah. That's sort of mislellan. leads me. Yeah. I'm like, okay, well, I'm because Ultimate means last. Like, by definition, it means last. Yes. And you weren't about to walk into traffic. No. And I'm bad with definitions of

things. I mean, when I think ultimate, I'm thinking it's going to be the best. Right. Right. But that is how Ultimate is used because it's like, it's the last one you'll ever need. That's the implication when Ultimate is used that way. Yeah. I didn't feel that. Yeah. I didn't feel that with this pepperoni pizza. You're like, I need other ones. Yeah, exactly. But it was just there. It was just there. It was like, but I'm good with it. Yeah. Maybe because I had the bacon pan pizza. Yeah, sometimes knowing how good something can be brings other things down by comparison.

Right. And also if I didn't have that there, I would have been a little bit more frustrated. Right. You know, I had another pizza there. That was really good. Yeah. So, but the other thing I'll mention just there, which I think is maybe the most just there you can get. The Holy Trinity?

No, not quite yet. Mr. Pib. Oh, yeah, yeah. No Dr. Pepper. I was like, I'll get a Dr. Pepper. They're like, is Mr. Pib okay? And I was like, I'll have Sprite. Yes.

Which is always the move with Mr. Pib. Order a different thing. Yeah. I mean, I'm, I'm cool with it. Yeah. Like, sometimes I'll be like, they're like Mr. Pib and I'll be like, okay. Yeah. But sometimes you're like, I'd rather just get another one.

That is like the one. I want one that's like the A player in its genre. Dr. Pepper is the A player. in the genre of what Mr. Pib does. Of course. I mean, the rest are all grocery store generics. Yeah. Dr. Thunder is one from Texas.

Mr. Pib, though, is B, I would say, of those ministers and doctors. I don't know. To me, to me, it's A and then just everyone else is like a C or a D. Oh, I have like sort of a weirdly special place for Mr. Pib. Oh. Yeah. Okay. I actually don't mind it.

So that's why it was just there for me. Here's a, I will have a Mr. Pib and I'm not going to be like, ugh. but you have other A players available. I'm drafting Sprite. Of course, Sprite is, I mean, unreal. Or a Cherry Coke. Yeah. I didn't even know they had that.

They didn't have it. Yeah. But I would have. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. I have a couple of the things in just there. Yeah.

Very quick things. I wrote no salad, no wiping. And I guess that has meaning to us. Jokingly, I was like, we don't need napkins. I don't wipe. And then you also, like, you were really pushing salad. And I was like, this ain't a salad, but no salad, no wiping. Mostly no salad.

Mostly no salad. No wiping unless it's on the floor. Yeah. Yeah. But this is a place where you can lick your fingers. Yeah, you can get the grease on the bottle. Yeah. You know.

Yeah. Yeah. There is a sign outside on the door that just straight up is like, managers and employees don't have access to the safe here, so don't even try to rob us. Kind of, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It was just like, we don't have access to it. Yeah.

Which could deter. Could deter. Or could deter men. True. Make someone be like, oh, yeah? We'll see about that. Oh, yeah? Why'd you say something about it?

Challenge accepted. Yeah. If you didn't mention anything, I wouldn't have robbed you. Yeah. Now I'm coming in guns blazing. Wow. That's an aggressive approach. I got plans later.

Not even guns pointed. They're blazing. Oh, shit. And then, yeah, let's talk about the Holy Trinity. Oh, yeah, of course. Mostly because we forgot to. Yeah. During the chocolate lava cake, what was it that you said?

Like, this lives in me now or something? Yeah, yeah. Well, I have a show later tonight. Oh, and it will be joining you on stage. Yeah. I was like, oh, it's like the Holy Spirit. Yeah. It lives with me.

It lives with you. Yeah. And it will be. I can still, it's still there. Like, you can tell which pang right now in your gut is specifically that. It's telling me, go to sleep. Yeah. It's saying, lay down.

You don't need to go to this show. To a show. You don't need that. What are you talking about? You need to rest. You need to wake up well, rested. In the warm lava east dream scape. Streamscape.

Yeah. Yeah. Sounds like a nightmare. That's everything for me. Is there anything else for you? I was just like, like sort of blown away by the experience of sitting down there. Yeah. And I think we got like a particularly like nice and calm day.

Mm-hmm. So it was like a very, it was like, Almost like a serene experience. I really love seeing the kid coming in there and hopping up becoming young PI. Yeah. That was really nice. Yeah. I love that he knew to do it.

Yeah, totally. It looked like I've been here. Yeah. Anyone who's been on a playground is it knows how to do that. They know where the swings are. They know where the monkey bars are. They're oriented. Yeah.

He was oriented. They know where the monkeys are. Great. That's everything. We need to give this place to score. But before we can do that, James, this is your first time on the fine dining podcast. I know that we said you were two times,

but that was a joke. That was a joke. We were joking. We were joking. You haven't been here before, which means you haven't been on this journey that I've been on. You're not calibrated. I don't know you're zero and your 10.

Oh, my gosh. I want to know you're zero and your 10. So we're going to stop at this week's Calibration Station. All right, James, you're zero and your 10. I want to hear about the worst restaurant experience you've had, the best restaurant experience you've had. You can start with whichever one you want, but I got to know them. I got to know them. Okay.

I've thought about this a lot. Great. So just know that there's a lot of honorable mentions on the table, but I'm not going to talk about them. Okay. My worst experience. Yeah. Zero. Shout out to one of my best friends, Bailey.

What was that name? I heard just... Shout out to my friend. One of my best friends. Bailey Linley. Thank you for having me repeat it. Bailey Lindley. A whole 180.

Now you're asking me to repeat the names. Well, also, he has way too many Ls in his name. Can we just say that? That's true. That's too many else. I never thought about that. Bailey Linley. Yeah.

Yeah. He's going to love that. So we were at JFK Airport. Yeah. On our way back to L.A. We decided, you know, we're hungry. The flight from New York to L.A. is long. I love that it was a decision to be hungry and not a like an involuntary.

We decided we're hungry. Yeah. We want to be hungry right now. Okay. And I wish we didn't. I wish we didn't make that decision. Right. I don't even remember the name of.

the place. Okay. Which is honestly better. Is it the barbecue place next to the Shake Shack? No, Terminal 7. Okay. It's in Terminal 7, which is a, it's at the time, because JFK is, you know, being rebuilt and everything, so I don't know.

Yeah. At the time, it's like the smallest terminal. And you walk in, you're like, there's, like commercial, there are commercial, there are commercial flights, you know, flying out of here. And we went and I got a muffaletta sandwich. I don't know what a muffletta is. I honestly don't really either. Great. But I think at the time it had, you know, some sort of nice Italian meats on it.

You know, it was from a like Dean and DeLuca type place, a Le Pen Quotidian type place. It looked like it was trustworthy. I ate that thing. And I, I, we both had, I think we both had food poisoning for like a week after that. Through the flight. That was where it began. For me. Oh, no. I can't speak for Bailey.

But I... Blah-la-l-l-l-l-la-la-la-la-la. I can't speak for him. For me, it was one of those things where, like, you're eating it and you know. Wait a minute. This is going to be a problem. Yeah. And then it's calm for a little bit.

And you're like, oh, I was wrong. I was... I'm fine. So stupid. Yeah. I didn't need to fear. And then three hours... hours in, you're like, just please, Holy Spirit, just please allow me to get to a bathroom by the time that I need to be at one.

Yeah, yeah. It's not there yet, but it is there. So that, that, I, it's not a really long story, but I just was like that was. It made you feel away. Yes, that was, that was the worst meal I think I've ever had. And did it taste bad too? It was terrible. Yeah.

It tasted bad. All right. And then your best. So another one of my friends, I'm going to shout out, Aisa German, who's on this show for this T-shirt that I'm wearing, design this shirt. You can say it for our audio listeners. For Gen V on Amazon Prime, season two out now, I'm not associated with this show. Actually, can you unsay it? I want to incentivize my audio-only listeners to go to YouTube and watch it.

Actually, one of my other best friends, Aisa German, who's on the show for the T-shirt I'm wearing, that looks really cool. The one that if you see it, you get better, you get smarter. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But if you're an audio-only listener, you're not getting that. So you have to go to YouTube if you want to experience that, like, level up. Yeah. Designed by Asa German and Derek Liu, so you definitely want to, you want to see.

Me and Asa went to dinner at a place called Catch Steakhouse on Christmas, which was also the inspiration for Santa's Kitchen. That sort of stemmed that for me. Beautiful environment. families on Christmas eating incredibly cooked meats. We had a waiter named Brian. I don't remember his last name. I can't shout him out properly.

Probably Lindley. Yeah, he's Bailey's brother. He is like a pro waiter. Aren't those the best? Yes. It's an entirely different experience. Yes. From just going to eat and just having like even a good waiter.

Yes. It enhances the experience. Yeah. It's just that much better. The food's already great. Yeah. And this guy, he comes up to us, treating us like high rollers at a casino. He's like, you guys.

I know you guys want some quality stuff. You want the wag you? Melt's in your mouth. You know, he's got that like advertiser sort of thing. But like in a, hey, we're all friends. Yeah, exactly. It's basically like he comes up as if we've been going here for like five years. Like, oh, hey, you know what I heard is good?

Yeah. Yeah. The wag you. And he, first of all, I'm sitting there in a t-shirt that says the yardhouse doug. That ace is just given me for Christmas. It says, the yardhouse dog. As in the restaurant, yardhouse? No, I don't think so.

Great. I think it's just a graphic. Do you still have that shirt? I do. Great. If I ever go to yard house for the show. Oh, yeah. I'll give you that shirt.

Yeah. I'll send you a picture. It's pretty ridiculous. It says da-d-doug on the arms. And I'm wearing that. And this is a classy, upscale restaurant. You know, this is one of the reasons we wanted to go. Yeah.

And I'm sitting there. The waiter thinks I'm famous. Yeah. And so he's like treating us like, it's funny because A's is on a TV show. Yeah. And he's like, you're all your attention. Yeah. He's like, this guy.

This guy's famous. And so, and here's, this is the thing that sends it into the best dining experience I've ever had. We're coming to the end of our meal. He comes up to our table. And he goes, you guys, interested in any desserts. Yeah. We're like, well, we weren't, but now we are. He says, bananas Foster. What a presentation. Lit a flame. Yeah. Tableside. Yeah. That's what he says. Bananas Foster lit a flame table side. And we said, we'll get one. And it was a beautiful

experience. Yeah. It was as promised. Those like showy foods, they're getting. And Sometimes they're delicious gimmicks. And they're just fun. And he teased us with that. Yeah. We wanted to see it. We didn't even necessarily want to eat it. We just wanted to see what he was talking about.

He walks you over to someone else who ordered it. Hold your hand. We would have been down to watch that a billion more times because it was beautiful. And it was great. It was really good. So that, that I would say is my best dining experience. All right. The catch steak.

Well, somewhere between. De Yard House dog ordering bananas Foster and testing the strength of your sphincter on a plane lies today's meal

at Domino's yes we gotta put it to the Chili's test James Chilies scale isn't the worst is the best

let's put it to the Chili's test James Chilies is true north it's right there in the middle this is a sliding scale if it falls under

chilies, it's under five. If it falls over chilies, it's over five. I'm going to give you the floor first. You can tell me how you felt overall about today's experience at Domino's and then what your score would be.

I'm going to first say, who you're going through the meal with does affect my score personally. Hmm. The fact that blah, was there. Yeah. Was it help to me?

that's saying something because it was still the worst. It's one of my best friends. He's there with me. Still the worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of my best friends with me at this wonderful Christmas experience. One of the best. Today, I had one of my best friends.

I had one of my most mediocre friends. And it was such a middling experience. Today I had the chilies of friends. Bellinlin is your least favorite friend. Oh, no. I went from shouting people out to making enemies. To like ranking friends. Yeah.

Oh, no. That is the opposite of that. Yes. The opposite of a shoutout is publicly ranking your acquaintances. And that is why you fall sixth. That is why today's I would lean on a more positive rating. Because it was such a lovely experience. Sure.

It also defied the expectations of dining in a dominole. Yes. I think that that's also what you want when you're dining in at a place. You want to do it with friends. You know, that's a part of the experience of dining in. So I would say that that bumped my rating up a little bit. The food surprised in certain places and disappointed in others. That's sort of getting to that middling level.

And I love that like a thing you thought would be your favorite, disappointed, and the thing that you didn't know about was like, oh, this is great. I loved that too. That also bumps up my experience a little bit. You know, at the same time, the stuff that was bad, I was pretty disappointed by. Sure. Okay, so my rating would be 5.84 for Domino's. Sounds fair.

High end of average. Yes. Yeah. I am not as generous about it. I don't count the company for me personally. like the person that I came with, I can have the most delightful time having the worst meal of my life and I can still object. Not that this was even in that conversation. Of course.

But like you are not an element that dominoes planned on me bringing to this. So I am scoring dominoes outside of the circumstances. And, you know, your ratings, your rating, my ratings, my rating. Objectively, this would have been better with table service. This would have been better with a waiter who comes and is like, how's your day to day? You want to hear the specials? Here's this. here's that.

My name's Derek. Here's a joke about your shirt or, you know, whatever. Totally. Or I felt that this would have been better in waves as opposed to here's five boxes with all of your food at once. You ration it out. You know, like pacing is a part of dining out, is a part of meals, right? And making sure that you always have food on your table when you want it, but you don't

have too much food on your table to manage. and this was getting in that territory. And look, it's just not what Domino's offers. This is not me saying that I expected that from Domino's. But if I'm rating all restaurants against each other, a Chili's offers that Domino's does not. It's just a tougher hill to climb for Domino's to end up above Chili's for me personally. That said, there were some things that I scored two things, a nine.

You know, I scored my pizza in eight. There's so much here that I liked, and Domino's is my go-to for pizza, for at least chain pizza, you know? So, I gave it a 4.61, still in the average range, just on the lower side of what Chili's offers. Yeah. But this is a democracy. When you put your score together with my score, Domino's does come out ahead of Chili's, scoring a 5.23. Wow. That's pretty amazing. It's pretty close to five. Yeah, it's pretty close. Yeah. And it's like right in that cluster where like most these places are because, yeah, let's face it. Like average is a bell curve. And, you know, there's also a lot of good places compared to, you know, restaurants typically excel. Yeah. You know, but yeah, 5.23. I'm comfortable with that. I think it's fine. And what it means is definitive.

objectively, objectively, factually, in the pantheon of restaurants, Domino's is officially better than Chili's. Next week I got to go somewhere, James. I got to, you know, the show is, it doesn't end here. I got to go to the you must bowl and draw something out. So I'm going to do that. Let's see where I'm going next week. Next week on the podcast, I will.

will be going to BJ's restaurant and brewhouse. Amazing. James, are you excited to see me go there? I can't wait. I love there. Me too. Wow. And I love having you on the show.

Thanks so much for doing this with me. Yeah. It's been a delight. It's been a delight. Tell people where they can find you on social media. You can find me on Instagram. my Instagram That's my

That's my plugging socials voice Yeah yeah yeah You can find me on Instagram At James E Joe Henry I just wrote a comic book That's out with Stella Akroyd And Luke Pisano Called the Blues Brothers

Escape of Joliet Jake And You can listen to My music Trees and Knees Got some artist projects I'm James James, RIP James, and come out to UCB, WGIS, The Clubhouse.

Come watch Tadletail or what are your other teams? Tattletail, Toretto, and Noonie. And then P.B&J at We Improv. And you can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at Fine Dining Podcast. You can go to Patreon to get an exclusive episode every month and the extended Yelp from Stranger segment and some extra little bonus stuff. I mean, I do something with James where I ask him, his rotation of restaurants. And yeah, this is a listener-supported show, so I appreciate all the support.

If you could, head on over to Apple Podcasts, write me a review, give me five stars, say that you like the show. It helps me out. It helps with discoverability. It helps me be able to do this for longer because I love doing this show and I want to continue doing it. Thank you all for listening. that is another one in the books. I will see you all next week. Have a fine day.

Well, there's another one in the folks. We judge the service up to the cooks. And while we may have gotten a couple of dirty love, and we'll stop that. And that's good chill is. See you next a week and next week, baby. Have a fine day.