Fine Dining - Nathan’s Famous: One Glorious Glizzy Soars Above the Rest of the Menu

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

🌭 Nathan’s Famous: One Glorious Glizzy Soars Above the Rest of the Menu 🌭 We went to the original Nathan’s Famous in Coney Island to find out: is this historic wiener mecca actually good, or are we just chasing a bump from a bygone era? Comedian Marty Cunnie returns as my hot dog soulmate to break down every last bite — from snappy glizzies to horrifying frog legs that still haunt my digestive system. We did not eat 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes, but our bodies definitely thought we did. 🍋 The Coney Island Shandy (Beer + Lemonade = Perfection) 🥵 Nathan's Is Serving Boyfriend D*** 🦴 Frog Legs = Bone-Filled Betrayal 🥹 The Milkshake Was... Kinda Warm? 🍟 Crinkle-Cut Fries: Very Potato-Forward 🎶 “Now That’s What I Call Hot Dogs” Plays on Loop 🏖️ Beach Vibes, Soft Rock, & Absolutely Weak Wi-Fi 🍔 The Burger Had the Texture of Wet Cat Food 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Would you order frog legs at a hot dog stand? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, full Yelp segments & more): https://www.patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): https://discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: https://www.linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Marty Cunnie on IG: @martycunniecomedy Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van 👉 NEXT WEEK: Sweet spaghetti, fried chicken joy, and chaotic mascots — we’re headed to Jollibee.

Nathan's Famous, an iconic New York landmark with over 100 years of history, but the menu proved that not only is less more, but more is less. Combining the beer and the lemonade made for the perfect Coney Island shandy, but eating the frog legs made me think maybe I should have failed A.P. Baia. The hot dog is absolutely worth the hype, but the way my body is screaming at me, I'm at risk of riding the great cyclone coaster in the sky.

With chilies as the Rosetta Stone in the world of chain dining, used to understand whether any restaurant is worth visiting when held up against the baby back behemoth, we're going to put the iconic Nathan's Famous through the chilies test to determine if this hot dog mecca is good or not good. Will this beachside institution benefit from the fact that nobody forced us to eat 70 plus hot dogs in 10 minutes? How is it when exploring more of the menu? Let's find out together. This is the Fine Dining Podcast. Your day mood's ready, take a seat The flavor of the day is mediocrity

Take a seat, the flavor of the day is mediocrity Wouldn't you like to try a five? Guarantee it'll be the perfect five Fine dining, better than you thought, worse than you hoped Fine dining, we don't treat mediocre as a joke Hello, and welcome back to Fine Dining, the quest to compare all restaurants to Chili's. I am your host Michael Ornelas, and this is the show where I'm using Chili's, the perfectly in the middle 5 out of 10 dining experience, to measure what is good or not good by comparison. By the end of this episode, we will have an answer to the greatest unknown in human history. Is Nathan's Famous better than a Chili's?

You can answer that for yourself in the comments right now, if you like, but we're going to break down our experience there today into what was good, what was not good, and what was just there before we score Nathan's Famous at the end of the episode. Joining me today to discuss Nathan's Famous once again is a New York-based comedian who I reached out to specifically because I thought he exuded perfect hot dog energy and couldn't pass on the opportunity to

down some doggies with him. It's Marty Cunny. I'm a hot dog boy, Michael. You are a hot dog boy. I am a hot dog baby. You are slightly more grown than I am. I was expecting you to say ma'am so I could be boy. But when you said boy, I had to go younger, had to go younger.

Pizza to it. Thanks for joining. How's your body feeling? Were two hours removed? I just used the bathroom and it somehow feels worse. Oh, so. Falling apart at the seams. Normally that's like a respite.

And I think, man, it's, my body's really dealing with a lot right now. And I've put my body through a lot. And so this is a unique experience. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was genuinely thinking I was going to fall asleep while doing the part one episode. As soon as we sat on the couch,

I was like, this is too comfortable. This is bad. This is too comfortable. This is a bad sign. It's like, ah, ah. Just stay awake. Like, it's just that. That's why we put all the hot dogs down, so we can't lay down.

That siesta. Yeah, I don't want to be embarrassed and wake up with, uh... Dog on my face. That's like the expression goes, dog on my face. Yeah, I got a dog on my face. Yeah. Um... Well, uh, we are feeling terrible, but that does not mean that there wasn't anything good.

So let's talk about it. Let's go into talking about everything that was good about Nathan's Famous. OK, I'll start with dessert first. Yeah, I had an Oreo cookie shake. Looked beautiful on the poster. Looked good in my hand. And it was good, but in a way that kind of betrays what it is. Oreos are amazing.

They're like a 10 out of 10 snack milkshakes. Amazing. Somehow this shake was a 6.2 out of 10 for me. So it's still technically a good food item, but I don't think it was as good as it should have been. Yeah, I don't know how a milkshake tastes warm, but that did you know what I mean? It was like it was like this is frozen and yet it's still

warm and I get that it's hot outside. Yeah. But like the whole point is that this is supposed to be like, ooh, a nice cold treat. It was kind of like if a milkshake wasn't refreshing. Yeah, and it was like, wow, cool. How'd you manage that? Like, what's your secret? I do know what their secret was. The ratio of whipped cream was way higher. Oh, that, that's what that was. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, that was a crazy amount of whip. It was like they layered whipped cream was way higher. Oh, that's what that was. Yeah. Okay, yeah, that was a crazy amount of whipped cream. It was like they layered whipped cream into it. Maybe, yeah. It was like a cake. It felt like it was like a third of it. Instead of the buttercream in the middle, it was whipped cream.

Yeah. It was a layered milkshake. Yeah. So like, these are all tasty things. And again, I didn't hate it. It wasn't bad, but it didn't bring me the joy that a milkshake does. So like, yeah, I'm putting it in the good technically.

I, yeah, it was admittedly, it'd be amazing if you could make a bad milkshake, you know, like I'd be impressed with you. Yeah. And this was almost there. It was like they were trying to. To me, they didn't succeed. They couldn't do it because you can't,

but it was like, damn, good try. Yeah. You know? Solid, man. A for effort. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have a score for the milkshake?

I said five. You said five. Okay, so for you, it's just there. Because it's not bad. Yeah. Again, but it's like, you did your best. Yeah. To make it, to sabotage it.

To make it bad. It feels like I would go somewhere else in Coney Island for a dessert. Yes, I would get this dessert and I'd be like, I need another. Yeah. I would go somewhere after. Yeah, considering how we felt,

I would still be like, I still need a dessert. Yes. Even how I felt. Yeah. Because there was something missing from that. It was like negligible. Yeah. It was like, well, I didn't eat dessert today.

Yeah, yeah. I tried. Yeah, I did my best. With something that you thought was good. The lemonade is, that's my, well, I didn't eat dessert today. Yeah, yeah. I tried. Yeah, I did my best. What's something that you thought was good? The lemonade is, that's my ideal lemonade, really. It was tart, not too sweet. It had a lot of ice.

So like, I like when there's a lot of ice, so it kind of melts into it and kind of thins it out after a while. But I also got a beer alongside of it. And once I got halfway to both of those, I combined them into a shandy. And that was like, I could walk up and down that boardwalk with a shandy for, who needs therapy?

You know, like that would be my new therapy is just people watching on Coney Island with a half beer, half Nathan's lemonade shandy. I was on board. You looked like everyone's uncle. Yeah. Walking around with a beer and a lemonade, just double-fisting.

100%, yeah. And I felt that way. With a halal cart shirt on. Mm-hmm, yeah. I felt like an uncle in terms of like, it was fun watching other people have responsibility. Yeah. While I'm walking around with a lemonade and a beer.

Like, I'm just chilling. There's no expectations of me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in my fucking zone here. Yeah. I give that a nine out of 10. It wasn't my perfect lemonade. I think it's like, it was missing just one little thing

that's like an unknown. You know what I mean? They're like, oh, somebody added like a little mint to it or something like, oh, that would really kick it to the next level. So I was missing that, but everything else was good for me. I had a sip of it. I thought it was a little too sour for my taste.

I do think I like lemonade to veer a sip of it. I thought it was a little too sour for my taste. I do think I like Lemonade De Vier a little bit sweeter. Sure. Maybe not too, but like I want it to be pretty close to like a 50-50. Sure. This is more of a preference thing for me, I think. Yeah. Yeah.

This made me like pucker. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. I gotta talk about the star of the show. Bring it on. The original hot dog.

Not pictured, but approximated. These are all real Nathan's hot dogs. These are all real Nathan's hot dogs around him. No, but their original hot dog, like it looks gross. It looks like the most unassuming, like if I had to draw a picture of a bad hot dog, this is probably what I would draw. It's skinny. Yeah, it's like, I had to draw a picture of a bad hot dog, this is probably what I would draw. It's skinny?

Yeah, it's like, I couldn't imagine it get any skinnier. It's probably as small as a hot dog can get without being considered like a beef jerky stick. It wasn't that skinny. It's skinny, but like how much skinnier could it get? Yeah. I wrote, it's the boyfriend dick of hot dogs. It's like, you'll stay with it, but it's not vacation.

You'll appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah, you'll appreciate it. It's enough. It's great, babe. But I also see why someone might need 76 of them. Just to feel something, you know? Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. But it was, look, something about it, it slaps. It's got that, it's got the snap. The term that we've learned today from the Yale previews that I've learned today from the Yale previews, snappy is perfect for this dog. The bun isn't too dry. Yeah.

You always run the risk with dogs. They toasted the bun a little bit too. It was either toasted or like steamed or something. Something, it had a little zhuzh to it. It had, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Yeah. And then there's like a Nathan's brand mustard that I put on it and-

Lumpy mustard. It was a lumpy, look. This is a lumpy mustard. It was a lumpy mustard and I love my mustard to have lumps. And also, yeah, like I said, the snappiness meant that it was also moist too, like it had a lot of moisture when you bit into it.

So like I got the chili cheese dog. And even under that, you could taste, it was like, usually you get a chili cheese dog to like mask whatever you're getting under that, but like still the hot dog was the star of the show. This was like you were trying to ruin the hot dog the way they were trying to ruin the milkshake. And you're like, but underneath it's still good.

Yeah, but you couldn't beat it. Yeah, I went nine out of 10 on the original hot dog. Yeah, well I got the chili dog and I think that actually put it down. I would have rather have gotten just the hot dog. So I put the chili dog down with an eight. Not that the chili and the cheese was bad, but it was just kind of like, oh, why'd I get that?

Yeah, you didn't need it. So there's a part of me that like, when I get a chili cheese dog and it's not a crazy amount of chili that I can't even pick up the dog, I get magas, I'm like, what did I pay for? But this was actually, it was a nice a chili cheese dog and it's not a crazy amount of chili that I can't even pick up the dog, I get Magas, I'm like, what did I pay for? But this was actually, it was a nice handheld chili cheese dog.

You could walk around with it and just eat it normally. You didn't have to fork and knife it. If I got that at a ballpark, I might be kind of pissed. But like the stand, that was perfect. But it was still like, the chili with the cheese, it was like, you know, it wasn't like sprinkled cheddar that melted down. It was like, oh, this is like nacho cheese, you know?

Like it was okay. So the, but the, the hot dog made up for it. I kept it at an eight. Okay. Yeah. The music. Oh yeah. It was like alternating between classic rock and soft rock. And both of those things are my shit.

It was eighties dance vibes. Like Celine Dion, I think was playing when we went in. And I was like, I'm not mad at this. And then I heard Queen later. Yeah. It was all coming dance vibes. Like Celine Dion, I think, was playing when we went in, and I was like, not mad at this, and then I heard Queen later. Yeah, it was all coming back to me now, and then it was, yeah, it was, it felt like one of those, like, collections, like, CDs that you saw commercials for. Now that's what I call hot dogs.

Yes. That's what I call Coney Island soft rock. Yeah. It was great, and so, it it definitely like, the vibes were right. It really set the like, this is, this is like the, the eighties cookout you were looking for. Yes. Yeah. And it also felt like parents are in the room.

Yeah. Yeah. It felt like, hey, you know, don't go too crazy. Yeah. But we recognize that the environment encourages you going crazy. So we're trying to counteract. You kids have fun. The mistakes you might make.

The mistakes you might make. It was literally, you're the uncle. Well, that's not what an uncle would say. The uncle is like, hey, do you know how to roll a joint properly? You kids got any beer or what? Yeah. He's got a shandy.

What's another good for me? Oh, another good. I liked those fries. The fries, the crinkle cut, they, it wasn't, it's certainly not the best fries, but like, it was a, it was a new angle on the crinkle cut fries that I hadn't seen. They were like big and thick. It was like steak crinkle cut fries. Yes. It was, to me, they just crept into the good category. Yeah. They are right at a six out of 10. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean,

I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, like steak crinkle cut fries. Yes, it was. To me, they just crept into the good category. They are right at a six out of 10 for me.

Very potato forward in the flavor. Which for a fry being potato, you don't always get that. I don't need to taste potato in my fries. I really don't. I want the fryer oil and the crunch. The first 10 years of my life, you didn't tell me fries or potatoes, I think they were their own thing. Yes. You know?

And, but that said, the potato element of this, yeah, it's good. Yeah. I thought that they were a little mushy. Well, it suffered from the problem that every crinkle cut and steak fry I've ever had is that they're rarely crispy enough. Yeah. For some reason, just, I don't know what corner they're cutting and cost or if this is just like,

it's too difficult to do thing, but crinkle cut and steak fries are never crispy enough on a consistent basis. Yeah. And so they definitely lag from that. Yeah. But they were fine. Yeah, six out of 10 as well.

That's what I would say. Yeah. Yeah. Six out of 10. And then my last good was just the beach vibes, but attraction forward. I like it. I like Kitsch. I like commercialism.

This is Kitsch out the ass. I like Times Square. Yeah. It's not like if I had to pick an environment to spend a ton of time and I'm not going like oh Get me LED screens of your products everywhere This was like the carnival version of that where it's like you don't worry about buying stuff But please ride this ride and you know, maybe go Yeah somewhere. Well, it is there's there they're trying to get you by an experience

Which is the Coney Island experience which is like come by the sideshow and the roller coaster Not like a dumb t-shirt and a picture with Elmo. Yeah, you know, which was really charming Yeah, I I have it squarely in the good. I like the atmosphere even sitting on picnic tables outside We're on an umbrella, getting some shade. It's not bad. Yeah, and just knowing that like, you know, oh, the block away, I go to a minor league baseball game and a block away is the beach.

And I can go ride a roller coaster, like, and you know, I take the train here, you know? And I can pay off the NYPD for $2 a day. $2 a day for them to look the other way while I throw up on a car, you know? Like, this is the kind of America $2 a day. $2 a day for them to look the other way while I throw up on a car. Yeah. You know, this is the kind of America I was looking for. This is the dream.

Yeah. This is what our ancestors dreamed of. The vibes are immaculate to me. I love Coney Island for that. Yeah. It's like, it's a nice place to visit. Yeah. And I will say, I like, despite the fact

that there's a little bit of an identity crisis between the interior and the exterior of the building. Yes. I do like it. I love that this building has stood for over a hundred years and the outside is just all old signage. Yes. Or at least stylized old signage.

They only added the clam bar in 2012. It's one thing if they were like a new restaurant that added old signage, but it's like, no, this is our old signage. We just, we made new old signage. Yes. That's fine. We added things to the menu. We wanted to advertise them.

Yeah, it is confusing though, because like I remember seeing it and walking in and it was like, oh, that's a nice looking menu. You know? Yeah. But at the same time, I was wondering to myself, would I like it better if it looked the same on the inside or the outside?

I was like, I guess I don't really care. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was- Because you don't spend that much time inside. You spend almost no time inside. You can't sit there. Well, unless you're sitting-

Unless you're in the line- For 45 minutes. That mythologically exists. Supposedly. I had you get there early. I was like, look dude, there's gonna be a line. And like the first thing you say, like, so how about that line you were talking about? He was like, yeah, you want to get there at 10 AM?

I was like, bro, no one gets to Coney Island at 10 AM. What are you talking about? Like, I like to see the world through lenses, not often peeped through. That's my, my outlook on life. But hey, it turned out well. Sitting outside, the whole vibe, everything, no notes on that. There would be one thing if you had to sit on the sidewalk too. Or a curb. That'd be bad. This is fine. You're in a lot that's for the dining.

There's a lot of signage out there that's really fun too. It's still Nathan's. Yeah. And it's also you know, there's a lot of signage out there. That's really fun too. It's still Nathan's. Yeah. Yeah. And there's also like, it's so funny. There's even like a copycat place next door. It's like, we got fried clams too. Ew.

They probably do it better. They probably, I don't know. Yeah. All right. Do you have anything else in the good? Well, let's go for our first difference of opinion. I'd say the onion rings. I thought we're good.

Okay. The one thing, my biggest complaint is that they were not onion-forward, right? But it was still like, there's something about like a onion ring fried that's just different from every other fried, and they really nailed that part. And I liked that they were crispy. And like, I would have liked a different variety

of sauces for dipping, but very tasty. It didn't come with a specific one, right? We got our own like, no, catch up. There was a remoulade that came with one of the other things that we kind of. Yeah. Yeah. So it would have been, it would have benefited from like, you know, I was dipping it in like tartar sauce, you know, like that's that, that was unnecessary,

but certainly not great, but not bad. I know. What would you score it? Four to six is the zone of mediocre., but not bad. I know. What would you score it? Four to six is the zone of mediocre. All right. Six point one then. What's funny is I had it as at a five point eight. So this difference in opinion is solely because we're on opposite sides of a threshold. Yeah, but we are very close.

Yeah, I see where you're coming from. I will. Yeah, I'll talk about it here. Like literally, I wrote good, but not good enough. Sure. It was filler. It was a thing where I was like, it's good enough that I'm gonna keep eating more of, but it's not a thing I'm recommending.

If I had a hankering for onion rings and that was what I got, I'd be like, damn. Right? Yeah, that's probably where I'd land. And I think I always feel that way about onion rings. Like the onion rings are the side that excites me the most at places. Mm, yeah. But so when you find a place that has a good onion ring,

it's like, oh, that's amazing. Yeah, you'll always remember it. When you find a place that has a disappointing onion ring, you're like, never again. Yeah. I won't return here to the Mecca of wieners. But it just makes you not trust a lot of the rest. It's like, what's going on with the rest of this many that you fucked up onion rings? Yeah. To the Mecca of wieners. But it just makes you not trust a lot of the, it's like, what's going on with the rest of

this many that you fucked up onion rings. Yeah. You know, it's the canary in the coal mine. The flavor was, it was just there. The crunch was okay. Yeah. A little soggy maybe, like it still had a crunch, but it was, it was soft. I don't know.

It's a weird thing. Well, I like that combo. That may have been the onion. I like that. Well, that's what I'm saying. It lacked the onion. Like there wasn't, there's a weird thing. That may have been the onion. I like that, well that's what I'm saying. It lacked the onion. Like there wasn't, it felt like there was hardly any onion in it.

It was one of those things where it felt like the onion got dehydrated before they even fried it. And it was like, where's the pop to that? Speaking of snap, you know? Where's the snap? Where's the onion snap? Yeah, so yeah, it's like the breading gives you a little crisp, the inside gives you softness. Yeah, and in this it's like the breading gives you a little crisp. The inside gives you something.

Yeah. And in this case, it was very little. Yeah. All right. Well, that's it for the good. Let's move into everything that was not good. Where do we start? This is not so good.

I'm not quite sure about it. Could have known without it. The stuff that brings down the mood. This is just not very good. I would like to start with the burger. Okay. The burger. The Hell's Kitchen Burger.

The Hell's Kitchen Burger. Jalapeno with jalapeno ranch. Comes with cheese. Bacon. Comes with cheese. Comes with cheese. Comes with cheese. Didn't come with cheese this time.

That's fine. However. That's perfectly acceptable. I'm not sure that would have made it that much better. The problems weren't with everything else. The problem was with the meat. It came on a brioche bun, which is like- A cheat code.

A cheat code these days. Yeah. And like, oh, if it's like, oh, if you're putting on brioche, how bad could it be? But they managed to not put enough aioli on it to make up for the fact that the meat was just mealy. It was, it was dry. It was a very dry.

I love a good greasy burger. And yeah, sometimes too greasy is a thing that like makes you feel a little bit sick about it. Yeah. Give me that sickness. They gave me, they gave me no chance to feel like it was too feel like it needed some grease. Well, and the pictures you'd see, it'd be like, it wasn't like Smash Burger ass,

but it was like, it looks like it's dripping a little bit. You know, it looks like it's got a little. The pictures implied something that it didn't. That it didn't fall through. And then we passed another advertisement on the way back once we were leaving. Yeah. And we were like, you know what, come to think of it,

that picture actually does look pretty dry. But now that you've had it. But now that you've had it. Now that you've had it. But not knowing, you're not honing in were like, you know what, come to think of it, that picture actually does look pretty dry. But now that you've had it. But now that you've had it. Now that you've had it. But not knowing you're not honing in on like, oh yeah. Like maybe I should have just been dowsing in ketchup the whole time, but I shouldn't have to do that.

Shouldn't. And it also was like, even if I doused that in ketchup, it still feels like it would be mealy in my mouth. It was gross because you know what it reminded me of is my cat food. Of like, you know when you some cat food. You're eating a lot. Yeah, a lot., you know, when you, some cat foods- You're eating a lot.

Yeah, a lot. And you know, I have trouble sleeping. And so I- You air fry some cat food. Air frying cat food and it takes the moisture out of it. I guess that's the gross part. Let's be honest. Yeah.

But like when you have it, like, well, some cat foods, it'll be like, you know, it's like the pate. And then some of them are like, it almost looks like wet kibble smushed together. And that was what that burger felt like, but somehow drier than cat food. This is a ringing endorsement. It wasn't that the flavor was bad.

Like that's the thing, like the, the, It tastes like cat food. The jalapeno ranch. I would have been coming up a lot if it tasted like cat food. Yeah, the jalapeno ranch, it was actually like a good spice level of the actual jalapeno. Oh yeah, it had some kick to it.

The bacon wasn't half bad. It wasn't like thick cut, like gourmet bacon or anything. But it wasn't bad. But it was fine for a burger. I often get upset when I like take, like the bacon doesn't split and then I ended up just dragging a whole fucking piece of bacon out with the burger

and I'm like, come on, guys. Yeah. I'm like, come on. I thought, so I wrote all the fixings were good, but it was very dry. I want griddle grease Yeah, I mean I go four out of ten. Yeah, I said I think I said four point five because it was just like oh if you just That's also in the just the how are you doing this four to six? It's mediocre. Okay. Okay. All right Well, then fine three point five. I will I wanted to land on not good. I want to call it bad

I want to call it bad. I wanna call it bad, because that needs to be fixed. How did you do that? It's... What I said on the way out is felt like they cooked that on the hot dog roller. You know what I mean? You just see pucks of beef working their way up

and falling. But like all the grease went away. It wasn't cooking in grease. It was on there too long. I'm gonna say the menu layout when you walk in, isn't the not good. What was going on? They had like 15 different redesigns of the same menu. Yeah. And then like four other menus that only appeared once and like 20 menu screens

overhead. And it was unclear if you had to like one side just had the hot dog menu three times in a row, and then a separate menu that just had hot dogs on it, because it was like the hot dog menu would also have like fries and sides. Then there was like the menu that had like heroes and Philly cheesesteak and burgers. And then there was the menu that had seafood.

And then there was a menu that just said catch of the day, and it had the same seafood. And I'm like, what are you guys doing here? And then there's a menu that just said catch of the day and it had the same seafood. And I'm like, what are you guys doing here? And then there's a separate line for the seafood. Yeah, and then there was another one. It was like, I don't know. Luckily, because we were the only people there. Yeah, we had time to peruse.

We didn't feel pressure to like, you know, order. We had time to figure it out, but it was just like, walking in there, I was like, I feel like this is like a riddle. Yeah. You know? Like, I'm walking in there, I was like, I feel like this is like a riddle, you know? Like, I'm walking in there and I'm like, Indiana Jones style, like trying to like move these around to see if they, like, there's a, is there a right order that I'm missing here?

It was also a thing where like, I'm, I like to thoroughly know all my options before I order. And I'm just like reading reading, reading halfway through. Oh, I've read that before. Read the next one. Oh, I've read that before. What? What am I doing? It felt like I was like,

I was like Mandela affecting me in real time. You know? The Berenstain Bears are- I don't remember this being on there. Yeah. You know, like this is confusing. And then they had like a lot of menu items that weren't on the top menus.

There was a lot of stuff on the counter that was listed as a menu item. And I was like, wait, was that up there? And then they had a promotion going for the Genie movie with Sinbad. Yeah. Yeah. I have a painting of that.

Oh yeah. I vividly remember it too. Yeah, well you know why? College humor really muddied the waters because they made a trailer for it. Oh, of course. Yeah, and so if know why CollegeHumor really muddied the waters? Cause they made a trailer for it. Oh, of course. Yeah. And so if you Google it, you can still see the trailer.

If you just have to, and so you'd be like, ah, look. So they really screwed people with that one. That's fun. That's the type of, that's the type of harmless evil we should be doing. Perfect. Yeah. Perfectly good prank. But yeah, that, that the menu layout definitely was like,

like it felt like they were trying to confuse us. And I was like, but why? Why are you doing this to us? Your clientele is mostly confused, dumb, drunk tourists. Why are you making this even harder on them? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, why are you punishing me? I'm already punishing myself.

Yeah. You know? Why are you adding to my frustrations? It's like, are you trying to steer me to just get a hot dog? Because it's working like maybe it is. You get to the front line, you have that panic. Like three hot dogs. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

That's it. What else you got? Not good. All right. Let's get into the let's get into the legs. Let's get in the frog. OK, before we before we like talk about like the actual food of the frog legs, I wrote as a separate item in Not Good, watching Marty eat frog legs. Hey, the feeling of eating frog legs

was also on my notes, okay? Just seeing you discover new bones in your mouth. Yeah, I knew it was tick. I'm like, how many bones does a frog's leg have? What was I supposed to, like, it was like, ah, there was like, there was one when I got it out and I was like, where was this? Like.

Functionally, what does this do? Is this a toe bone? Like, how small of a bone did I just pull out here? Like, it was just so confusing. And it comes to you, like, the legs come together, conjoined at the hip. So you pull them apart like a wishbone, but because like the fried skin is very much intact,

like you just wind up with like a bunch of meat hanging out. I was gonna say, is the intact the right word? No, it doesn't like stick to the meat, the skin whatsoever. The skin is like, I'm hanging out with the rest of the skin. Yeah, I'm hanging out with the batter. Wherever the rest of the skin goes, The skin is like, I'm hanging out with the rest of the skin. Yeah, I'm hanging out with the batter. Wherever the rest of the skin goes, I'm going.

Yeah, I'm with batter, batter and skin is my, I don't know meat. Yeah, I'm not with meat. Yeah, I'm out. And so like you pull it apart and then you're just like, it just gets so confusing so quickly. So there's some large chunks of meat you get, and if you're smart, you fork it.

But if you're me, you go in and you try to eat it all at once in your mouth, and then you find out how many goddamn bones are in there, and it's terrifying. You look like in like a Tom and Jerry cartoon when you're eating a whole fish and you just pull the bones out of your mouth. That's what it felt like.

I just kept going like, ooh. Yeah. And yeah, it was, it made the experience of eating the frog legs much worse. Like I don't even know how much I really enjoyed that because the process of eating them was such a pain. Yeah, and the process of seeing you do it upset me. And then you're like, all right, it's your turn.

And I was like, do I have to? He was like, I'll do it, I'll do it. I'm gonna eat him. Literally, I ate two things for the first time today, clam strips and frog legs. I'd never had them. I had alligator when I went to Pappado a few years ago. Alligator's good.

I like alligator. You know, it's fine. It's the only reptile I've eaten. Now frog, the only amphibian I've eaten. And you know, like I didn't like the flavor of it. I like the, the meat was very mushy. It tasted like an amphibian in that it was part land, part sea.

It tasted like if chicken tasted like fish. Yeah. Didn't taste like fish, didn't taste like chicken. Yeah. Just tasted like chicken and fish had both like been left on a street overnight. Yeah, I feel like brined it in pickle water or something. You know, like a little bit, not like a full night,

but like just enough for like catch a little bit of that salty flavor. Or chicken, brining chicken in a fish tank. Yeah, yeah. And so they seasoned it a lot. Like whatever that batter was, they had a lot of seasoning too. So like when you ate it, you know,

here's the terrible joke of the day, the frog legs had a lot of kick to it, you know? It was, uh, uh, uh, it did, it did feel good and bad to say that,

much like it felt like eating an Athens. So, uh, but it was like, yeah, it was part of it. Some of the time I'd take a bite and be like, yeah, it wasn't bad. Then I'd take another bite and it was like, I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing.

I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing.

I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing.

I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I'm going to eat the whole thing. I couldn't find the right angle to enjoy it. Well, you also ate like, you finished off the entire meal by being like, all right, fine, I'll eat the last frog leg. And as you tried to like pry it off of the serving paper, it's like just seeing how soggy the fried was and how it was just like dangling all over the place. It was, it got more and more gross as the process went on. Yeah. And then when I tried to dip it in the remoulade and all the meat just spilled out into the remoulade,

and then I'm like trying to pick out chunks of meat filled with bone out of remoulade and eat it, and like, oh my God, what did it, yeah. It's, the flavor wasn't terrible. Like it wasn't so bad, but the process of eating it was so bad. Yeah. I, when it was my bad. Yeah. Yeah, I

When it was my turn to eat it if we'll phrase it that way I felt like when in like the saw movies when the detectives like come to the crime scene I'm like see everything that had happened How do I make sense of what went on here No And it was it was an experience front to back. And as I described it as, I would watch someone else eat those, I would not order those again.

Like I would, you know, speaking of fun pranks, a fun prank would be to convince somebody to eat frog legs at Coney Island at Nathan's. A fun prank on yourself would be to eat them yourself. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Yeah. If like, I don't know if my idea of a prank is, hey, eat this.

Of convincing someone it's good? I guess. Not a bad. I mean, come on. How many people have you convinced? I guess you don't drink. I've convinced a lot of people to drink Malort, you know? And that's a fun prank.

Like, what's the enjoyment in that? Just watching someone wince? Yeah. Okay. What's the enjoyment of the rest of the pranks? I don't know. What's a prank to you? Something elaborate.

Like I played dead, like going back to the Saw movie, the ending, spoiler, the ending of the first Saw movie when just the dead guy just sits up, he's like, I've been here all along, and he shuts the door've been here all along and he shuts the door. It was Bruce Willis the entire time He has a cane and does like a vaudeville dance Like that kind of that's a prank to me like But the point is haha got you yeah, you know, yeah But I guess I go is the same thing as I I go harder than you didn't enjoy that bite,

did you? I did, oh, your life's ruined now. Yeah, sure, that's more, a more complex prank is great. Yeah. I'm just talking about like, look, you idiot, I tricked you. You know what I got my mom with, like three April fools in a row?

Uh-huh. You know, you know, at at the big kitchen sink in the middle of your main eating area or whatever, and you have the little attachment hose that you can spray dishes with? Uh-huh. I would just rubber band the thing that you press to make it go out of there, and then aim it at, like...

So she would just go to the... Just turn on the... She'd go to the faucet in the morning and just get sprinklered in the face. And it would be like six in the morning. I'd be upstairs I did it the night before and I would just wake up to hearing a scream downstairs And that was three years in a row and I felt mildly bad, but I was like, but it worked Yeah, so you're more of a setting traps person. I'm more of a in face in your face mind games person

Yeah, I'm gonna move away from referencing Saw before... Before... Right, right, right, right, right, right, yeah, Traps. An investigation gets launched. Anyways... Anyways... You were talking about that murder hotel in Chicago. Um, but yeah, the Frog Legs for me, too overwhelming.

I went two and a half out of 10. Yeah, uh, uh, 2.7.7 I think is what I wrote down. Yeah. Yeah, it was like, it wasn't so bad that I was like retching or something like that, but the whole process was just like, ugh, difficult. Anything else you would call not good or is everything else just there for you?

Oh, let's see. I said that the clams were not good. I don't know what I expected. I think fried clams, I was expecting, like I think in my mind it was almost like scallop shaped and then being that fried and having like kind of a burst to it. This is just like strips of fried seafood flavored dough.

Yeah. That's what it felt like. And most of them actually was just that. I convinced there was no clam in most of this. In the entire order? There was no, in like two bites, we figured out that there was, cause you try to bite into it and you pull

and it would have a clam. You would see like the toughness. Yeah. The texture of a clam was there, but some of those, that was just fried dough. Yeah. That was just fried dough. The whole time, I was just like, I'd rather this was calamari. Sure. That was what I was thinking the whole time. I was like, why isn't this- There's a better version of this thing. There's a much better version of

this thing. I don't know why you guys are doing this. And I know it's probably because there's probably some historical, this is what people used to eat. But like, I, I, I, I was almost in my mind, like, is this what they're like at the place next door or is this just how Nathan's does them? Yeah. Like they, they, they, they kind of stank. I'm a big believer in when you go to a place, get the thing they're known for. Right. And Nathan's is a hot dog place.

Sure. They can experiment. They can get clams. They can get frog legs, go for the hot dog place. Sure, they can experiment. They can get clams. They can get frog legs. Go for the hot dog. But I slightly disagree on that. I think a lot from what I've heard of, like, native New Yorkers is that it's also known

for, like, fried clams as, like, a beach thing for the original location. But, like, they only added them in 2012. They were around almost 100 years. I mean, well, maybe it's people that have only been recently. Yeah. I could be wrong. I could be talking out of my ass.

Just like since then, the addition has been positively received is what you're saying? No, you know what I'm thinking of? I think maybe what they're talking about, the addition of the 2012, is that they had non-fried clams there. Oh, OK. Part of the seafood menu was non-fried clams.

And I think that's what you're talking about. Oh, clams on the halffried clams. And I think that's what you're talking about. I think that's what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah. But there was, yeah, so I think they always had fried clams. Cause that's also like all the old signage is also fried clams too. But even so, it was just kind of like,

it is front and center on the signage of being like, this is something we have. And it's like, do you though? Like how much of that was clams? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They didn't do that, like, this is something we have. And it's like, do you though? Like how much of that was clams? Yeah. They didn't do that. Like, I don't know. They'll never know if we just fried dough in the shape of clam strips.

It was, it was to me, it was just seafood flavored dough for the most part. Yeah. And I didn't like that. Yeah. Uh, what was your score for it? I said it was, yeah, like 3.8 because it was still like, at the end of the day, it's still something fried and I could put it in my mouth and like you know that's fine yeah it tastes bad it was just disappointing and then the the last

thing I'm gonna put in not good the Wi-Fi wasn't giving its all there were like six options of Wi-Fi's you could connect to one of them was Nathan's and the one that was Nathan's it only had like two out of three of the little Wi-Fi signal. Which is tough, because like, I really want to park at Nathan's all day, drinking beer and lemonade and writing Yelp reviews. That's like, you know, that's how I make most of my money. I got to do my paralegal case studies or you know, whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nathan's isn't going to park up. Yeah, I need to do my drug dealing. I need to run my Silk Road website, Nathan's picnic lot. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, they really need to step that up. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it should at least cover end to end encryption. You know? At the very least. If that's what you're using it for. How much can I really ask for here, you know? Yeah. All right, that's it for the not good. Let's talk about all the things that were just there.

This is a weird one. I'm not quite sure what to say about it. Uh, yeah. This is for the stuff that is just there. I thought that the service had no heart, but no attitude. So I'll take it. It's a service that I can't believe hasn't been replaced by robots yet.

Like that's- One might argue it has. Like they could have just turned those screens over and I could have entered my order in just as easy. Like I don't know how they haven't got the kiosk route yet. Yeah. Well, it's also their ordering process is literally you talk to one employee, they put in your order, then they gather all of it. So it's not like it sends it to the back and someone puts it together and then

they bring it to the front and they hand it off. Is that true? I didn't realize that. Oh my God. It's so funny.'t even realize that. That is true. Oh my God. That's so funny. I wasn't paying attention. That is their process.

That's insane. Which is why she didn't even crack a smile when I walk up and I go, I'm gonna be ordering a lot of food. She's just like, I'm gonna get my steps in. Yeah. You know? She was, she dead-eyed you when you said that.

But that's also very like a New York thing is like the, oh, hey, we don't give you a customer service. And it's like, yeah, okay, that's fine. No, we don't do that here. Yeah, it wasn't like Dick's last resort. They weren't like yelling at us and calling us names. They were just like, I wish you weren't here. Yes.

I wish both you weren't here and that eight hours would pass very quickly. Yeah, they're like, I think those people would really go for the severance treatment. Oh no. I think those people would really go for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, just bummed me out, man.

But like I agree. Yeah, so I think for the service, I'm gonna go thumbs in the middle overall. Yeah. Ambience for Nathan's, I'm going to go thumbs in the middle overall. Yeah. Ambience for Nathan's, I'm going to go a thumb up. Oh yeah. I mean the vibes, like you said, the music and the setting and the ambience, I think that all, that's my jam.

And then the food just comes out to thumbs in the middle. They had a lot of things that I was just like, this could be good if you just like put a little change in here and there to just make little things pop a little bit better. Yeah, it was like hot dogs. Incredible. If you didn't have the hot dog, I would never go to this place again. Yeah, there would be no good reason to go here. But a prank. But my guy, but a good prank to play in your friends? Absolutely. Send them to a bad restaurant? Hell yeah. That's great.

That's a great prank to play on people. Especially when they like, and like really build it up to them too. And be like, oh, you gotta get this. And you can get this if you want, you know, if you're cool. You know, you gotta really like, you can't make it- If you're brave. Yes.

Get the frog legs if you're brave enough. But the, like you said, it suffered from too many options. And it's like, why did you expand the menu? This is not necessary. The hot dog craze, bring it back. I'm all for that. The hot dogs, ever since the term glizzy got coined. We're back.

Hot dogs are back. It's a big time for hot dogs and they should really be capitalizing. Instead I'm in there looking at a menu that has tater kegs and stuff like that. Can we talk about that for a second? They have tater tots loaded with cheese. Oh, you've never had those?

I just wanna talk about- I know you're not a cheese guy. But I just wanna talk about the name. Tater kegs is the most intense sounding gluttony forward snack you could create. Tater keg. I had one, I didn't know what they were and I got them in Boston and I was just like, this is like America right here.

Like they stuffed a tater tot full of cheese. Like, oh my God. Like you remember when they put hot, like cheese and hot dogs? Like, oh stuffed in. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, this is the tater tot version of that. You mean the moment where I no longer

could implicitly trust a hot dog? Yeah. I'm sorry. Or someone who doesn't eat cheese? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you trust hot dogs before? With my life. I would, look any dog. The idea of the hot, the whole idea you trust hot dogs before? With my life. I would, look, any dog.

The whole idea of the hot dog is you really don't know what's in it. You are rolling the dice. You are rolling the dice. Hot dog is... Cheese is best case scenario. No. Not for you.

For me, for me. For my palate. You just made hot dog like Russian roulette for me. German roulette. Is it loaded? Is this the one that ends it all? Yeah, that's all for me. Do you have anything else in just there or do you think we've covered everything? No, I think we covered everything on my list too. All right. We need to score everything and do the Chili's test, but we can't do that

yet. You're not calibrated. This is your first time on the Fine Dining podcast. I've been to over 100 restaurants. My scores compare to one another perfectly. I just wanna calibrate you to our scale. So Chili's right in the middle, but we gotta know a zero, we gotta know a 10 for Marty Cunny.

We're gonna go to this week's calibration station. Yeah! Yeah! Calibration station. Comparing this meal to the best or the worst. Calibration station. Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, choo choo. All right, Marty.

Basically, the point of this is just to hear what is the worst restaurant experience you've ever had, something that you would call a zero hear what is the worst restaurant experience you've ever had, something that you would call a zero. What is the best restaurant dining experience you've ever had, something you would call a 10. Once those are defined, we can rate more properly. You can start with whichever one you want. My 10 is not actually a restaurant.

I was at Burning Man. Is this like your air fryer? Sort of. Okay. My tent was, I was at Burning Man on acid and in the middle of the desert and a couple of people said, hey, come over here. And I was like, what's going on? And I came over and they were roasting a pig

and had set up a picnic table and were like, do you guys want some food? And you said, yeah, 100%. And they sat us down and served us roasted pig with a side of like mashed potatoes and cornbread and like a side salad, it was like a corn salad and then had like a dessert like pudding. And it was all delicious.

And not just because I was on drugs. It was like really delicious food. So like the experience of just being like in the middle of nowhere, called in, like here's a delicious meal. You didn't ask for 10 out of 10. An impromptu meal, always great. Yeah.

And also just that spread as you've described it, sounds like a banger of a meal. It was a banger of a meal. And so just like the whole experience, 10 out of 10. And they were like very nice and like, you know, just clean up after yourselves like, yeah, 100%. So that's 10. Zero, last summer I was in St. Petersburg, Florida.

And I sunburned my eyeballs. So we'll keep the long story short. I sunburned my eyeballs because I was reading on the beach face down and the sun reflected off the white sand into my eyes. Oh. I didn't know that was a thing. And so I was like.

I thought this was gonna be like, remember that eclipse? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know I have big staring at an eclipse vibes, but no, I was, and I was just like, so basically the next two days I was blind. Yeah.

And my eyes hurt so bad. It was just like, it was just a constant intense pain. I couldn't have them open. Yeah. I had like, I was wearing eye patches on both eyes because I went to the urgent care and that's what they did for me. On both eyes.

And so- It's so embarrassing. And so at the tail end of this trip, I'm back in the airport and the person I'm with, we go to eat at the airport, because I'm like, I haven't eaten anything, I'm starving. And so my airport dining experience, they saw that I was like blind.

They had to like wheel me in there in a wheelchair, because otherwise you'd have to lead me around the entire place. She was like, we'll just wheel you. And they sit me in a part of this not very full restaurant apparently that everybody had to walk by. So I'm constantly getting jostled while I can't see and I can't see my plate and the food was okay

I just got like a Cuban sandwich, but I'm just like The the dining experience was terrible, but my eyeballs on fire constantly being jostled It was like the worst like sensory experience of my life. And so that's zero All right well somewhere between sunburned eyeballs and roast pig feast on acid lies Nathan's Famous today. This meal that we had, is it closer to one than the other? We'll find out.

We're going to put it to the Chili's test. Was this experience better than Chili's? I think for me, I would say yes, but barely. Chili's has been on a downward trajectory, if you ask me, in terms of like the excitement that I would get going to a Chili's. The food, it's like, it's fine. It's the definition of fine, the ambiance, all that. Nathan's today, I was excited to go to, and when we left,

I still felt as much as the rest of the menu worked to kind of hammer away at my enthusiasm. I did still leave with a slight amount of Nathan's famous preference to chilies. So I would say it's better and it's riding on the back of this guy. Yeah. The hot dog is so good. Yeah. I'm going to go 5.14.

5.14. Yeah. I see where you're coming from, that they did their best to get rid of your hope and your dreams, but they couldn't do it. They couldn't. Because that hot dog was so damn good. Honestly, that milkshake was a metaphor.

They tried to crush my hopes and dreams, but it's still a milkshake. At the end of the day, yeah. I scored mine a little bit higher because I lean heavy on vibes. Because it's one a milkshake. At the end of the day, yeah. I scored mine a little bit higher because I lean heavy on vibes. Because it's one of those things like, once you find what you like, yeah, we had too much men you. But in a world where I'd gone in

and just gotten six hot dogs and three beers and lemonades, that'd be a 10 out of 10 experience. You know, that's pretty good right there. And by the way, that's what I did last year and why I was so excited to come to Nathan's for this. Because I only ate hot dogs. I was like, this is going to be great. And then I made you get fried little things. Fried clams.

Perfect. See? See how fun that is? And I literally watched you pull bones out of your throat that don't exist in humans. Those same bones do not exist in humans. That was the confusing part of it. I'm like, what is this? So at the end of the day, vibes,

and the fact that I can prank people using it, and at the end of the day, I have some really good food I can eat there. I landed a 6.56. 6.56. So when you put your score together with my score, Nathan's Famous is going to go up on the tchotchke of mediocrity, my giant scoreboard back home in Los Angeles, at a 5.85.

We now know that Nathan's Famous is officially better than Chili's. Better than Chili's. All right. Well, I'm going to go somewhere next week and see all about another restaurant. If it's better than Chili's or not as good as Chili's, I am going to just randomly go through a, like a random number generator in my head and see if I can land on a good restaurant for next week. Next week, I'm gonna go review Jollibee.

Oh no, someone's got thoughts. Yeah, yeah, I'll let you. I've not had it before, so we'll find out. It's an experience. Sweet, yeah, I'll let you. I've not had it before, so we'll find out. It's an experience. Sweet spaghetti with hot dogs in it. Marty, thanks so much for coming on, for joining me for this meal,

for lending me your insides for... Yeah, I... Not in that way. Yeah, no, this is... I feel like, yeah, a hot dog of remorse is gonna be, the Mecca of hot dogs, first of all, is hot dog Mecca. The Mecca of wieners.

Mecca of wieners is entering my lexicon. I'm glad we got that out of this. If nothing else, indigestion and the Mecca of wieners is what I'm coming away with today. We did it. Tell people where they can follow you on social media. Marty Cunny Comedy on everything. Instagram, TikTok, OnlyFans, you know, the usual spots. The usual ones. And MartyCunnyComedy.com for tour dates,

mostly in New York these days, but hopefully in your area soon. Awesome. And you can follow me on Instagram, TikTok and Blue Sky at Fine Dining Podcast or Fine dining.bsky.social. You can go to my Patreon for an exclusive episode every single month, and you can join my Discord. If you wanna chat with me, I'm very active there. I'm not hard to reach. You can go tell me you hate me and I'll see it.

It'll make me sad. We're so accessible, aren't we? We are so accessible. You can make me sad. We're so accessible, aren't we? We are so accessible. You could make me cry. Anyways, that's another one in the books. Thanks so much for watching. I'll see you next week. Have a fine day. We judge the service up to the cooks And while we may have gotten a couple of dirty looks

Though the journey can never stop now From the bottom down to the top We got a new ammo and everything's unlocked And that's cause chili's too bitter to the teeth It's the perfect conestome Neocrity, ocrity So now we got a brand new kind of test Best of what we gotta know

Cause we shouldn't have known it yet A triple dip, we got the ribs, the main course Perfect little in the middle, it's gone Now it's got to be the lock for what we use When we put things up on the charge gate We are retained So there's another one in the books, yeah, there's another one in the books And we will see you next week, next week baby!

Have a fine day!