Fine Dining - Papa Murphy's Pizza: A Spiteful Dough Recipe, Food Stamps, and DIY

Episode Date: February 4, 2026

🍕🔥🏠 Papa Murphy's Pizza: Take 'N' Bake, No Ovens, No Mercy 🏠🔥🍕 This week, comedian Peter Murphy (@peter_murphy) joins me to break down the strange, fascinating history of Papa Murphy's, the pizza chain that refuses to cook your food for you. We dig into how take 'n' bake became the brand's entire identity, why you literally cannot buy a hot pizza there, and how that decision shaped everything from employee working conditions to who can even buy the product. We also check in with the internet, because of course someone on Yelp is furious about flip-flops. 🍕 The Origins of Take 'N' Bake and the Merger That Created Papa Murphy's 🔥 Inventing a Dough That Works in a 425-Degree Home Oven 📈 Explosive Growth Into One of America's Biggest Pizza Chains 🧊 No Ovens, No Cooking Licenses, and a Safer, Cooler Workplace 🧾 Why Papa Murphy's Pizzas Count as Groceries (and What That Means) 🍕 Stuffed Pizzas, "Larger Than Large" Pies, and Other Menu Swings 🎃 Heart-Shaped and Jack-O'-Lantern Pizzas as Annual Traditions 📉 The Mid-2010s Slump and the Challenge of Staying Relevant 📱 Apps, Online Ordering, and the Modern Take 'N' Bake Pivot 🧇 The "Hub of Hacks" Includes Waffle Irons, Football Pepperonis, and Dough Experiments ⭐ Yelp From Strangers Includes a Reviewer Outraged by an Employee Wearing Flip-Flops 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Does take 'n' bake pizza feel convenient or like homework? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, extended Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/channel/UCLbraNhL6KhDPkdSWt2yiuw 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: Peter Murphy | IG: @peter_murphy WATCH PETER'S SPECIAL "OUT OF NOWHERE" HERE  Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, Aaron Hubbard, Steff, Robert McLaughlin, Jewell Hermann, Renae Michael 👉 NEXT WEEK: We actually review Papa Murphy's and put take 'n' bake pizza through the Chili's Test to see how it stacks up against the ultimate casual-dining benchmark.

Papa Murphy's, the pizza chain that borrows your home oven, Papa Murphy's has built an empire on doing half as much work as your standard pizza place in the name of freshness. With over a thousand locations domestically, it's hard to say their strategy has been anything but a smashing success. But is this really the best way to do pizza? A concept dating back at least 45 years, taken bake pizzas took America by storm in the 80s and 90s with Papa Murphy's leading the way. Neither delivery nor de Giorno, Papa Murphy's occupies an interesting middle ground in what it means to be a restaurant brand. You can't eat there, not because they're inhospitable, but because their food literally isn't edible in its current form.

It's kind of like White Castle in that way. This week on the show, I'll prep my dough of knowledge to toss into your oven of curiosity so that you too may know everything I've learned about Papa Murphy's. Then, we'll direct our attention to the people of Yelp to see what you. what they're saying about the very Papa Murphy's we just made a four-hour round trip to visit. Stay tuned. This is the Fine Dining Podcast. Your table's ready. Take your seat. The flavor of the day is mediocrity to try a five. Hi, I'm Chris Gathard, and I'm very excited to tell you about beautiful anonymous, a podcast where I talk to random people on the phone. I tweet out a phone number,

thousands of people try to call, you talk to one of them, they stay anonymous, can't hang up, that's all the rules. I never know what's going to happen. We get serious ones. I've talked with meth dealers on their way to prison. I've talked to people who survived mass shootings. Crazy funny ones. I talked to a guy with a goose laugh, somebody who dresses up as a pirate on the weekends. I never know what's going to happen. It's a great show. Subscribe today, beautiful anonymous. It's not delivery. It's not Dejorno. It's confusing. It kind of is, right? And yeah, and unwelcoming in a lot of ways. You know when you're like, bugging your mom and she's too frustrated like when you're a kid and she's like you do it yeah you keep

saying her name over and over and over again like mom mom mom like how me with this homework and like she's like i'm trying leave me alone yeah i mean it's like this is just somebody's refrigerator you know and it's not the kitchen refrigerator it's the garage it's the garage refrigerator yes hello and welcome to the fine dining podcast the quest to compare all restaurants to chilies i am your host Michael Ornellis, and in this podcast, we learn the history of our favorite restaurant chains one week before seeing how they compare to Chili's in week two. This week on the show, we will be talking about the history of Papa Murphys, and joining me to do so as a comedian who you can see performing seemingly all the time around Los Angeles, the host of the funniest people you've never heard of podcast, and he is the second Pretty Peter I've had as a guest on the show, a man who I absolutely had to bring to Papa Murphy's because of, I assume. It's Peter Murphy. Hey, everybody. How's it going? I wish I could be here under different circumstances. Which circumstances? Maybe a funeral or, uh, divorce proceedings. Those are the other most

common times to go out to like a chain restaurant. Yeah, in Bakersfield. Yeah. Thanks for coming. Dude, yeah, thanks so much for having me on. You gave me such a large chunk of your day. Yeah. For context, we drove from Los Angeles to Bakersfield, a roughly two-hour drive to get a pizza that is uncooked. Yeah. And then bring it back to Los Angeles and cook it here. Yeah, it's almost like a low stakes road trip movie where, you know, if it was a movie, we'd be transporting like a heart or something. Right, right. Surgery.

And instead we just... A heart attack. We transported a heart attack, brought it back here. And now we're just real sleepy after eating. I am I am sweating already. My neck is wet while I'm recording this right now. I have a wet neck. I appreciate it.

And also I love the show because coming from Florida, we have more chain restaurants there per capita than any other state in the union. Yeah. I haven't gone to Florida for any episodes of the podcast, but there are so many on my list. One of my golden geese that I really want to do is T-Rex. Oh, okay. Do you know T-Rex?

I do. I want to hear more about T-Rex because I've only heard about it titularly or like through passing. But the place you need to go is the original Hooters. The original Hooters. In Tampa. What's funny is I have done more Hooters episodes than anything. I did the annual. You're going to start to wonder.

Yeah. I did the annual Hooter Bowl. So the first year, I just did the Hooters in Long Beach. Year two, I did Hoots Wings, which is like their spin-off fast casual. In Pasadena. In Pasadena. And then for year three, I stayed at the former Hooters' Houters' house. hotel in Las Vegas and did not walk out for like, I was in there 19 hours.

Wow. And reviewed the only Hooters that serves breakfast in the country. I didn't have any of the breakfast, but I did go to the Hooters Hotel and let me tell you three things that happened. I ate 24 wings, Daytona style. That's the way to go. And our waitress was pregnant. Yeah.

Full on ready to pop pregnant. And I ended up losing $450. dollars. So totally worth it. Totally worth it. In casino games or to that waitress? No, because out of tip. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No. In the Hooters Casino. Yeah. Yeah. There. I doubled up my money. I put down 60 bucks and walked out with 120. I just went 60 on red. Hey, that's not bad. Yeah. Well, do you have a history with Papa Murphy's? Wow. Very little history. Only know about it. Don't don't really have like a Papa Murphy's. I've seen it. Never experienced it until today. Yeah. And, you know, for me, when you combine my last name with Papa, it's a little triggering having not grown up with a father. But, you know, I'll save you the tears. And did you join this thing? I'm thinking we would find your father.

I was hoping. Oh, no. I was hoping. I'm not saying there'd be 100% chance, but I'm not saying there's a 0% chance either. He could be anywhere. Anytime I step out the door, let alone in Bakersfield. He could be there.

Yeah. Could have been. But sadly, I mean, unless he's coming out, you know, from some trap door. I did. I pulled no such strings. I apologize. That's fine. It's okay.

I met my dad once not to brag. And that was enough. Once was enough. Yeah. But yeah, no real history with the chain Papa Murphy's. But as far as like, you know what, Papa Murphy's on that's, on the Murphy side of my family, some pretty cool guys. Yeah. Yeah.

My, I took my mom's last name, Murphy, because my parents were never married. Not to brag. But my grandfather, before he passed away, he was a Marine. and my great-great-grandfather in New York City was a police officer and a firefighter. Oh, wow. For over 20 years. Nice.

And... Good lineage. Yeah, not bad. I'm Peter Francis Murphy the 4th. What an Irish name. Very, right? Yeah, you don't always get that with me. But who knows?

I love chain restaurants. So maybe that's an Irish thing, too. I'm all about chain restaurants. And my experience with Papa Murphy's before this was Stephen, my friend who joined us on this drive in Texas had picked some up. He's like, oh, you got to have Papa Murphy's. And I was like, uncooked pizza.

Like they would probably put in a commercial. Right, right, right, right. Uncooked pizza. And then like a mascot busts in with like all the things. And he's like, we have our own ovens or whatever. Yeah, the Papa Murphy's mascot is a single, a divorced dad. with a with a heavy mustache that is you know that's like I got fresh food for you this weekend and also for some reason he's like an anthropomorphic otter or something yes yeah that's perfect actually yeah yeah perfect yeah yeah cool well that's that's our histories of Papa Murphy's do you want to hear the history of Papa Murphy's yeah I'd like to get some better context as to how this place exists today all right we're going to do just that. We're going to head into this week's Eat Deets.

Eatery Details. Papa Murphy's was formed in 1995, but the story starts almost 15 years prior when the two take and bake pizza shops that merged to become Papa Murphy's began. These were Papa Aldos, which opened in Oregon in 1981, and Murphy's Pizza, a California joint, started in 1984. A real love story right there. Right. You know, when two, when two, when two, take and bake pizza places love each other very much. They come together and continue to make it. It's your problem. Take it home with you. And they sell half of their steak to each other. And, you know, in a divorce settlement, you know, they have to merge, I think that. But which last name do they take?

Yeah. We don't know. Now we now. Now it's Murphy. Yeah, of course. The taken bake model is Papa Murphy's specialty. They make your pizza fresh in store, then hand it over uncooked for you to bake at home. skipping expensive ovens and dine in overhead. It's too cute to be. It's too cute. It's just so, it's cute. It's like the easy bake oven of pizza restaurants.

Yeah, it's just so cute and like, you got to try it once, but once might be enough. I do kind of feel that way. It's like kitsy. It's like, oh yeah,

this is fun. It's like, it's like divorced dad. Like I'm saying, it's divorced dad. Hey, these are all fresh toppings. Couldn't be bothered to come.

to the grocery store. Or it's like... Or your football game. Or yeah. Or it's mom that just discovered this and is like, isn't this fun? That is exactly what this feels like. Isn't this fun? From a vibe standpoint, this is like, I'm being bad or I'm being different.

Field trip. Yeah. Isn't this fun? This isn't your standard way of doing it and that deviation is enough to be the novelty. Yeah. And you can't say, isn't this fun enough to make it actually fun? Right. Yeah. Oh, goodness. Because, I mean, at its core, isn't this fun means isn't this more work for me at home? Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a bonding experience. Especially because their original reason for wanting to do this was it's for the family where both parents work and are trying to make things easy at home. But it's like if you want to make things easy, cook the pizza and give it to them. You know? Hey, mom, if you want to make this easy, You'll cook it for me.

I'll be in my room. Yeah, but also like, you know, 80s, 90s, family spent way more time together. And, you know, if we're saying this was established in 1995, right? Then merged in 95. Taken Bake was more popular before than like you're saying. But, you know, if we're starting at 1995 with Papa Murphy's, yeah, you go to the strip mall, boom. We're going to pick up a movie from Blockbuster. We're going to pick up a six-pack for the parents.

Then we're going to pick up Papa Murphy's. And then we'll be home, and that's a Friday night. Robert Graham, the founder of Murphy's Pizza, ran a convenience store and noticed that one of his vendors sold uncooked pizzas. Knowing that home ovens couldn't reach the 600 degrees necessary to bake pizza dough, Graham asked the vendor for their recipe only to be blocked by a $10,000 price tag. for it. In an act of defiance, Graham responded by testing over 250 dough recipes to invent a pizza crust that could be baked in a home oven at 425 degrees. Man, $10,000. Like in today's, I mean, with inflation, that is literally $18 billion. I think so, yeah. It's the net value of a Fortune 500 company. Yeah, just about. Yeah, yeah. Because back then they only had 10 grand.

Imagine being such a crappy neighbor that someone asks you for something and you're like, yeah, $10,000. It literally is like, how bad you want it? Dude, come on. And then I love, screw you. I'm going home and I'm going to figure it out. Yeah, that's before chat, GPT, before AI, before the internet. Before that, everybody was a scientist. But now people just do their own scientific research.

Right. So that was like, you get your hands dirty back in the 80s, 90s. right and but now people just like are keyboard warriors so we were right they're like well i watched a youtube video that show me that the vaccine is made of bats so we shouldn't trust it we were we used to be a country we used to be okay we used to be spiteful 10,000 dollars oh i'll make my own chemistry and yeah i like to think that he was like doing the 250 recipes like in front of his window obviously so that the guy could see him like looking in and does one of those. Oh gosh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What's he doing with all that dough? Yeah. It's like a, it's like an 80s like teen movie. Like he has like dough all over his face and stuff. It's like, it's just like extra cartoony. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Hughes style. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And Ferris Bueller's run through the backyard. Yeah. Murphy's Pizza didn't do very well because their founder had no experience in fast food. While Papa Aldo's pizza reported.

kind of just sucked. Enter Terry Collins, a former fast food executive with experience from burger chef and PepsiCo. He was convinced of the potential of the take-and-bake pizza model and bought up both brands.

Since Papa Aldo's had solid management and growth strategy, Collins replaced their product with the fresh and delicious Murphy's pizza recipe to find the winning combination that paved the way for Papa Murphy's to succeed.

Yeah, Collins, to me, is coming in like a Ray Crock, right? It's very, It's very much that. It's like, I like what you got. I like what you got. You're both wrong for each other. Yeah.

Oh, God. And he's wearing like a massive suit, big shoulder pads. Stripes. Big tie knot. And it's like, this guy's got no passion. He has a gold tooth. Yeah. He has a gold tooth for some reason.

Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, oh, you know, I could fix this. What was missing in him? He probably didn't grow up with the Papa Murphy. You know, some hole in his heart. there's so much projection I like to think that he like kind of

he did one of those things where he showed up and he was like oh you know I actually this place could be great well actually you know what never mind and he starts to turn away and then they go no no wait what no tell us just give you the place sell us a monorail yeah he got both for $1.5 million he paid $500,000 for Murphy's Pizza

which was seven locations and he paid a million dollars for 65 locations of Papa Aldos. Yeah. So per store, Murphy's Pizza came out on top. Yeah, I'd say. Seven stores for only half the price of 65 stores. Also, you know, selling anything, any sort of idea for close to a million dollars,

that is just pizza dough is great. Right? Yeah, it's amazing. Like, you know, yeah. I think the real winners here are Murphy's and Aldo's. Yeah. Yeah. And Papa Aldo specifically, like, the food was trash.

So, like, you cashed out on trash. Yeah. You just had a good management structure and, like, the idea of take and bake as well. Papa Murphy's expansion in the late 90s was explosive. It opened its 500th store by 1999 and reached 600 by 2000, spreading from the West Coast into dozens of states. In fact, by the early 2000s, Papa Murphy's had leapfrogged older chains. to become the sixth largest U.S. pizza brand. Whoa, six largest.

I can't think of what five would be, but obviously Domino's Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, and Little Caesars are ahead of it. Yeah, those are the five. And I'm trying to think of, four, those are four. I'm trying to think of what the fifth would be. Cece's pizza?

It might be Cece's. Cici's pizza comes to mind. Yeah, I mean, what, they've just had such a monopoly. Yeah. Pizza Hut. I'm used to just the big four. Yeah.

And then now there's like the whole. whole subcategory of like the like blaze pizza biology mod where it's like go and like make your topping selections in front of them and they make it right there. You know what we're not thinking of is Jets pizza. I think Jets. I don't know Jets. I think out of Detroit,

if I'm not mistaken, but they have it's like, it's not Detroit style pizza, but Jets I think is the fifth chain. And then after five it drops off into they don't even cook your pizza. Yes, exactly. So,

But no, I mean, like, I'm clowning on it, but, like, genuinely, I do think it's a good concept. What? The Papa Murphy, the Taken Bake idea. Oh, the Taken Bake idea. I mean, I think it was, uh. It's novel. Yeah, it was, it's novel, but also like a prisoner of its time in a sense that, like, you know, that was part of a thing. Like, we go to Blockbuster.

We go to Papa Murphy's. Then we, you know, get some beer. And it was like, oh, you could go all at one place. And this was, you know, Friday night made easy. But, like, families don't really. spend time like that anymore, I don't think. No. Sadly.

And, yeah, I don't love it. I'm just like, oh, God, just can. It feels like a burden. Can we just, I mean, you know, I have no problem. You know, if we're going to spend time together, it'd be more fun to go grocery shopping, get all these ingredients and make it. Yeah. Then, you know, just take it and bake it.

But it's cute and you got to try it once. And it's a fun date thing, I guess, too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Papa Murphy's requires no licenses for cooking. Overall, the stores are cooler, cleaner, and safer, resulting in a much friendlier work environment and a lower than average employee turnover rate. Since the pizzas are uncooked, they are considered groceries and therefore eligible for food stamps,

which accounts for as much as 15% of sales in some stores. Oh, well, that's why they exist. Yeah. It's just, like, what? It categorizes it as groceries. It's not even getting a health rating as a restaurant. It does. Oh, it does.

It does because they handle food. Okay. And you have to get your food handler's card, I imagine? Yeah. Wow. But like the biggest sign other than Papa Murphy's on the outside was EBT accepted here. Yeah. And it was massive.

It was like the size of the whole door. Yeah, literally. Yeah, yeah, there's literally the whole door. But like also I think it creates a whole other layer of validation for this concept. A layer of. Well, just like accessibility to people who like, you know, if you're not well off financially and you're like, I want to have a night out, I want to get a domino's. Oh, oh, I can use my EBT towards Papa Murphy's. I mean, that's a saving grace in my opinion.

Right. That's pretty cool. I, I, I, yeah, that's pretty cool. I dig that. I like that. I like the accessibility of that. That's nice. Yeah.

Papa Murphy's kept customers coming back with menu innovations. They had calzone's and lasagna once the merger. happened. Then in 1998, it rolled out a line of stuffed pizzas, starting with a hefty Chicago-style deep dish to give Pizza Night a new twist. A year later, it unveiled a giant, larger than large, 16-inch pizza, bigger than any rivals, to replace its 15.5 inch large, but at the same price. From double-layered pies to supersized slices, the chain proved it wasn't afraid to break pizza norms. Yeah, nothing's normal about Pumper. Like at all like yeah, they're just kind of like, hey, we don't have to compete with these places, I don't think.

Do you think there's no way they could accept competitors coupons the way other pizza places might do that, right? Probably not. No. But like they spend a third less on their ingredients because of something I don't remember, but I did read that thing. Because of tariffs. Because of tariffs, yeah. But. Or because the produce is terrible.

They're sending a third less because they don't care about you. They don't care. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if I felt like this was like high quality ingredients or anything, but the fact that it was delivered fresh added a layer of me being okay with it. I mean, yeah, you're right. They really are stretching the definition of the word fresh because when we were in there, everything was in a can.

Like, that's one thing I noticed. I didn't notice that, actually. Yeah, I mean, in the back, everything was in a can. And I mean, yeah, sure, you're going to get your peeled tomatoes out of a can. You're going to get your olives out of a can, whatever. But to show them so proudly, it was just like, what's fresh here? Oh, all this stuff in a can. Yeah.

Yeah, I feel that. Papa Murphy's has a flare for holiday pizza traditions. Every February, Papa Murphy's rolls out its heart-shaped heart-baker pizza, a Valentine special that fans now consider an annual ritual. Come October, it brings back the Jack-O-Lantern Jack-O pizza, complete with a pepperoni smile and olives as eyes as a Halloween treat. These playful seasonal promos have become fan favorites, turning take-and-bake into a festive family affair each year. Yeah, that's fun. I like anyone that, you know what? I don't think they take themselves too seriously.

I want to ask. Yeah. Just based on your general attitude. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You seem to have such an internal battle going on of wanting to dunk on this place and wanting to like it. Yeah, and you know why? It's because I really enjoy Normcore stuff. Yeah.

Like, I love chain restaurants. I love going to Olive Garden, never any pasta. Yeah. And, you know, and, you know, if I get a chance to go to Fridays, I'm at, you know, it's TJ Friday, right? But I'm just like, oh, man, I wish it was better. But I, you know, coming from a place where our restaurants are chain restaurants. But like, yeah, everyone can say that. But like in Florida, there's more chain restaurants, like I said, than any other place per capita.

Yeah. It's like, no, let's go to, let's go to the Applebee's. No, the good Applebee's, right? And it's like, oh, after 10 o'clock, they turn off all the lights, it turns into club apple. Do you have a favorite chain? Ooh, favorite chain? And once you think of it, I'm going to do three, two, one and see if we say the same one because I do think there is a head and shoulders above the rest, like sit down chain to your restaurant. Oh, sit down chain.

Like we're talking. Of like the big ones. Of the big sit down chains. Oh, favorite sit down chain? Yeah, I got it. Yeah. All right. Three, two, one.

Outback. Oh, yeah. Outback is great. Outpack is great. And they're a Florida one. I know. I once, well, authentically Australian. Thank you.

Okay. They're like fosters in that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Australian for pumpernickel bread. Right. Yeah, exactly. You know, chain restaurants exist, in my opinion, to make all sorts of food accessible to all people.

And, you know, if you love it, then there's nothing wrong with that. It's just I wish you could have the regular version. You know? Yeah, yeah. And I don't hate any, you know, who do I hate? Do I hate people that are using their EBT cards to get taken baked pizza? Of course not, you know?

And, you know, I wouldn't deter them? And you know what? The more of this history that you're going over, I'm like, oh, yeah, wait, they're not taking themselves seriously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're not even competing against other chain pizza places. They're like, yeah. you want a pumpkin smiley face on your pizza? Go ahead. You want a heart-shaped pizza? Yeah. That takes two more seconds. Yeah. Yeah. I'm loving this place more and more. What's also very funny to me is the idea of going back to their larger than large pizza. They're like, we're doing 16 inches, which is only half an inch bigger than the previous one they offered. And they're like, and it's bigger than any competitor offers. Doesn't it shrink once you cook it? So it's like the raw one.

is 16. Oh, right? Yeah. That's like when, you know, somebody brings a weight scale to Texas Roadhouse. Exactly right. Or McDonald's is doing quarter pounder with cheese, but the measurement is a quarter pound before cooking. Right. And, you know, who knows what it's losing? I don't know. All the preservatives are seeping out of it. Part of its soul flies away in the cooking process. Yes. And it's actually you look and you're like, oh, wait, that's my soul. My soul left that quarter pound. Yeah. Well, um, Having a quarter pounder with the backdrop of a McDonald's playplace and I'm drinking a black coffee. Through your tears. Yes, exactly.

Papa Murphy's nurtured a loyal fan base and garnered industry praise. It frequently topped consumer surveys and earned bragging rights like being named Best Pizza Chain in America by Restaurants and Institutions Magazine in 2003. Pizza Today crowned it chain of the year after its blockbuster growth around 2000. This steady stream of kudos showed that the customers loved the fresh taste and value, sometimes ranking Papa Murphy's pies above those of more famous delivery rivals. You know, later, we're going to go over Yelp reviews. Yeah. But before Yelp existed or the Internet, what you just said is evidence that there were, there was a time in America where there were just too many magazines. just too many magazines

like you know chain restaurants today and fucking you know like all their own rankings like too many magazines our viewers pick Papa Murphy's you have three subscribers yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah but we're a publication it's like oh you're Florida home in leisure

and you're just reviewing wicker chairs what do you know about you know take and bake pizza I don't know but I really wanted to shoehorn it into my magazine yeah exactly yeah yeah that's how you do it Yeah. The mid-2010s brought tough times. Papa Murphy's was the only top-five pizza chain with falling sales in 2017, forcing it to close over 60 underperforming stores as franchisees struggled.

With pizza delivery apps booming, meal kits, trending, and even frozen pizzas getting gourmet upgrades, the once-novel, take-and-bake model started to lose its edge. Picking up an uncooked pie felt less convenient in the on-demand era. These pressures even had the company exploring a sale as it sought a solution to turn things around. Oh, God, I want the Papa Murphy's movie. Right. I want the movie. This is so dramatic.

Right. On hard times. Also, 2017 wasn't that long ago. And it was eight years ago. It was almost a decade ago. Doesn't that feel crazy? It does. Oof.

Different time. You know, as you were just mentioning that, I was thinking, I have in my freezer three frozen pizzas and I probably ordered pizza for guests at my home like five or six times. Since you bought those. Yeah, since I bought those. I'm like, ah, they're there in case.

There's a, but there's also, it's like, it's a different itch that you're scratching. Yeah. Like a de jrano versus like, oh, I'm gonna get Domino's or, you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah, there's something about the Domino's pizza tracker that just got me. Right.

Seeing just like the little segments fill in, they're like, oh, it's on its way. It's like sports. Yeah. Yeah. Alejandro will be at my door in two minutes. That's exactly. Yeah. Papa Murphy's is mixing its old school concept with new school tech.

It rolled out online ordering, a mobile app, and even began partnering with delivery services to meet customers on their terms. The chain now boasts over a thousand stores across the U.S., plus a few in Canada and even the United Arab Emirates. As the pizza industry races into the digital age, Papa Murphy's is betting that its home-baked niche will keep on rising. Not likely. Not likely to rise. I think wherever Papa Murphy's are, they're holding tight. They're like, hey, we're sticking around here.

I do think they're white-knuckling their way through this. I think so. I think so. Also, yeah. Yeah, I wonder what they've got to be close to. Like. To succeed? Yeah.

Bakersfield, apparently. There are four in Bakersfield. I don't know why, but anytime I see a Chipotle, it's always very close to a Starbucks. So like anytime there's a Papa John. It's like you have to like turbocharge the shit you're going to take later. Yeah, I don't recommend both of those at once. Unless, I don't know, you're trying to cut weight for some reason for wrestling. If you have a wrestling match, yeah.

In MMA, you can wear like the sweatsuit. Yeah, like the vinyl material and go for a run in a song. or Chipotle bucks. Chipotle bucks, yeah. Yeah. I think the whoever Papa Murphy's are available, they're going to be available just pretty much there for a good amount of time. I don't see a lot of growth happening in there.

And I could be wrong. Like, genuinely, I could be wrong. But I don't see it. Yeah. Yeah, me either. Me either. Gosh, but, yeah, but they're trying so hard. You know, it's like Dakota Johnson.

Like they've never, Dakota Johnson's never had a good movie. Yeah. Never once had a good movie. But she's there and we love her. And she calls out Ellen and she's got a great personality and she's fun. And maybe she sells sex toys on her social media. And she's an interesting person.

But never has been in a good movie. And here's Papa Murphy's, the marriage between, you know, Papa Aldo's and Murphy's Pete. And commerce and pizza. And, you know, they're just, they haven't figured it out. But you know what? Maybe we're rating them too hard because, you know, they got the jack-o-lantern pizza.

Also look at the competition they're up against. Like, they are up against every restaurant. They entered the space. Right. They walked into the room. Yeah, it's true. We're allowed to judge them. You know, they stepped onto the red carpet.

We can talk about who they're wearing. Fair. Fair, fair. Yeah, you put yourselves out there. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. And, you know, worth going to.

I'll tell you what, I brought my grandma to see Madam Webb, and it was one of the best naps she's ever had. Papa Murphy's website features a section called the Hub of Hacks, in which they impart customers with a bunch of secret recipes to do unique things with their Papa Murphy's pickups. These wild and crazy innovations include putting your pizza in a waffle iron, arranging your pepperonies into the shape of a giant football, and using a cookie cutter. and using a cookie cutter in the shape of a butterfly to make it more fun. They also have a suggestion to twist the dough up to make your pizza a pull-apart experience. Yeah, I mean, it's more of what we said earlier. Isn't this fun? To me, this is more of like, yeah, whatever, it's your home.

We're not responsible. Sure, mess up your waffle iron. Like, this just feels like, sure, what do I care? We have no accountability. This is begging for a April Fool's Day prank where they suggest you just, you know, throw it out your window. at your neighbor or like, you know, put it on the ground, let your dog, you know, eat it. The best way to enjoy your Papa Murphy's is to delete your system files on your hard drive.

Yeah, the best way to enjoy Papa Murphy's is release the Epstein files. Yeah, dude. Yeah, you know what? Maybe that's going to be the clip I put out there for this episode. Maybe it is fun. Yeah. Maybe they are fun. The more I learn about them, the more fun they are. That'll do it for this week's Eat Deats. All right, Peter, I hope the DIY spirit has rubbed off on you because now it's your turn to pitch a restaurant establishment of your very own. I need a theme song for this segment. Okay. Give me a style.

Oh, I'd like rock. That was so broad. Oh, I love that. Okay, how about 80s hair metal? Can I make a counter pitch? Yeah. Limp biscuit. Oh, yeah.

I mean, yes, of course. Yeah. Which is rap rock. Rap rock. Yeah. This is the restaurant of your dreams. We go into screams. Your own cooking prowess can't mess up things.

This is the restaurant of your dreams. Yeah. I mean, I love that. Peter, I want to know what you are doing to shake up the world of casual dining with your very own dream restaurant concept, something that on open. day, everyone will angrily go to Applebee's and shame them for not having thought of your thing. It must be practical, delicious, and memorable. Three, two, one, go. The concept is there's no tables.

Okay. Right? Yeah. No waiting rooms. No buzzers, but it's dine in because beds. You're eating. Oh, let me show you to bed number eight. And then you and your date or you and your by yourself or you and your family all sit in a bed together.

So it's like Willy Wonka. Willie Wonka, Charlie and Chalky Factory style. Yeah. And you'll be served food in bed. And the menu is just salads and bowls. So like, you know, you get like a rice bowl with quinoa and beans and chicken or like a hait tuna salad. or a cob salad and then and then and then we do cakes big cakes uh for like birthdays so it's like the the most relaxing experience you could ever have okay what's it called uh you we we call it pillows

i'm into it yeah you like that and you know and honestly i love breakfast in bed so my best memories were like what do you want for your birthday when i was like a kid and i'm like can i have breakfast in bed And the parents are like, you mean, I could just make you food I already have, but it's on a tray. Yes. Easy. And here's the thing. You know, I mentioned it's all bowls and cake. But to go with a pillow theme, our secret menu is we do a really good toasted ravioli, which is fried ravioli.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it goes in, you know, because they're like raviolos. They're little pillows. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's, and you get your own pillow. Yeah. You get to relax.

Yeah. Maybe take a nap. Who's the ideal clientele? Ooh, um, probably just horny people. Probably just real horny people. Can I, speaking of real horny people, sure, tell you, I like guessing. Sure. And so when you said, there's no tables, my mind with a concerning amount of speed was sure of what it was going to be.

Yeah. And it wasn't even close. What was it? I thought you were going to say there's no tables there's just tall Amazonian women and they like baby bird you food. I love that

the place is called Amazon Prime. God, that's a great idea. Yeah. That would be so fun. That's like an S&L sketch that would come to life. Like, you know, celebrity family feud. Yeah, yeah. You know, another idea

that's a great idea. I love that you know I I was I once dated a girl who ate all of her food all of her meals over her sink and so like she didn't eat at all yeah sometimes sometimes just got to eat over the sink yeah yeah yeah so that might be another one everyone gets their sink the kitchen sink yeah oh the kitchen sink and they have everything you got it's the whole essentially the cheesecake factory menu right yeah uh you'd go there I would go to pillows yeah I get to lay down and have a meal, a rice bowl. Yeah.

Yeah, why not? And we change the sheets. We change the sheets. Okay, the fact that it's not immediately after each guest is crazy. It's not like macaroni grill where we're throwing down, you know. Coloring table. Yeah, coloring paper. It's not coloring table.

You know, I mean, you know, we've got a lot of overhead with washes and dryers and linens. But, you know, they will be. They will be. Like, whatever music you're playing, no one can hear over the gentle hum of a washer and dryer. Ooh, that's even more relaxing. Yeah. Ooh, and the place smells like clean linen. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, that's what we're adding. A wall of washers and dryers, always going. Half the people show up and they don't even want the food. It just kind of becomes a laundromat. Yeah, that's another part of the secret menu. It's like, you know, you can do your laundry here. Hold the ravioli.

Yeah. Do you have shout? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's fun. That's fun. I like that. Well, thanks for going over all of that with me, Peter. I now have a better insight into what you dream about. One last time, just that one line. This is the restaurant of your dreams.

Boy? No, that's the wrong vibe. That's flavor of flavor. Yeah. Now let's bring things back to reality and see what other people think of the Papa Murphy's we drove to in this week's Yelp from Strangers. We need a little yelp to. A little yelp from strangers A one star, two star, three star, four or five, aye So get a little yelp, a little yelp, a little yelp from strangers

A little yelp, give us those complaints while you literally whine up. All right, this is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite one star review, two star review, three star review, four star review, and five star reviews of the very restaurant that we went to, Peter, do you mind if I start us off with the first one? Please. One star review. This is a one star review from J.B. From Bakersfield, California, written July 9th, 2025.

It's his first and only ever Yelp review. All right. I find it highly inappropriate, and I believe it's a health code violation to have your employee Kyle wearing flip-flops while making food in your store. Also, it's rude as hell for him to be wearing earbuds while helping customers. I've been buying pizza here for a decade or so. We'll be going somewhere else now. I don't want to see bare feet around food I plan to consume. Also, we'll be reporting to ABC.

Oh, my God. Does he mean like the local news affiliate? He means the same people that canceled Kimmel. He's like, we're going to talk to the next star people. Oh, no, this guy, Kyle sounds chill, first off. Kyle also sounds 17, so back off. He's wearing flip-flops, got earpods in, earbuds or whatever. AirBuds.

AirBuds is a way better name for AirPods. Yeah. Air will be bud. Oh, man, earbuds was taken. So they went to AirPods. Pots. Yeah, Kyle sounds chill as hell. He's probably not even wearing a hang. I want most of my pizza from Kyle. Yeah, dude. I want Kyle to hang out, dude. Pop his shirt off. I'll buy. I want a Hawaiian shirt, no buttons. Yes. You know, I want to buy Kyle beer. I don't care how old he is.

He's old enough to work there. He's old enough to drink. Yeah. He's old enough to vote. He's old enough to assemble a fresh pizza. Right. Quote unquote. Man, what a, what a hardcore review on Kyle. Right? This guy, he just hates Kyle. or how about this? J.B. must stand for just bashing. And this is the only review, you said. This is only review.

Okay. This is a guy who goes to Kyle's school and doesn't really like Kyle and he's trying to get him fired. I was just thinking that. This is a guy who is jealous of Kyle's partner. Yeah. And, oh, Kyle can't take out of his partner if he doesn't have a job. So boom, bad Yelp review. Kyle's fired.

I swoop in. Here's the problem, though. Kyle's chill as hell. Kyle doesn't need to spend a dime for you to have a good time with him. Damn it, that's right. Kyle's chill as hell, but yeah, and he's so cool too. That was the other thing. He's like, maybe Kyle's like, no, man, I'm above this.

I'm going to write negative reviews on myself, and he's secretly jaded. Like a Kaiser-Sose situation. He walks away slowly from a limp. Yeah, on flip-flops. Ditches the flip-lops. Can we talk about how different that movie would have been just by the fact. that wait, he was wearing flip flops. A beach version, the Florida version

is him wearing flip flops? Yeah, absolutely. Man, this guy, J.B., if he is in fact not Kyle, which I suspect he is Kyle, but if he's not Kyle, he's a narc. He's such a narc. He shouldn't be, dude, someone like J.B. that has standards like this, go to Pizza Hut.

Go to Domino's. Yeah. What? You've been at Papa movies for a decade, gain a sense of humor. Yeah, what, you've never had the Jacko pizza? Yeah, you've never jacked on a pizza, man, come on. That's what they meant. Yeah, exactly. Oh, God, poor Kyle.

Three star review. This is a three star review from a person, oh, God. Right? Oh, my God. This is part of why I picked them. Go ahead and say their name and their picture. Yeah, yeah. This person out of Bakersfield, their name is Knife.

I. Knife. Knife. First name knife. Last name starts with an eye. And their picture is a series of chef's kitchen knives. My God. Okay.

Three stars from September 16th, 2021. Papa Murphy's is always my go-to since Traders has been gone. Not sure was going on yesterday if the prep guys just finished their duby. Or what right before my wife placed her order. What? that didn't make sense? Like, I don't know if they just finished their duby or what, right before my wife placed her order. Sorry, we're missing some punctuation.

No, this is not your mistake. This is Knife's mistake. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. Knife is a bad typist. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. We could have used some other punctuation, but this is how it should be said. Not sure what was going on yesterday. If the prep guys just finished their duby or what right before my wife placed her order, yikes.

There was so much shit on top. to where the toppings just fell right of. Off. I think he means off. He wrote this in like a blind range. In a breath. Okay. Okay.

Sorry. There was so much shit on top to where the toppings just fell right off each slice. Not to mention the pizza didn't not cook evenly because of it. Layer pepperonies on the pizza guys. don't just throw them on there looking like little pockets books we'll be back but damn we'll be back but damn that's the kind of energy i like compared to jb yeah what the hell we'll be back but damn and yeah it's he became chill at the end there it's like what are you protecting your wife from right like an unorganized pizza relax you don't have to bring your wife into this at all

I love the comparison to the pepperoni's being stacked being little pocketbooks. Yeah. And, you know, Trader Joe's is his pizza go-to? Yeah, I don't know. By the way, I do have to say, of all places for a Trader Joe's to not succeed, Bakersfield feels right. I know. Damn it.

They don't know what they got there. You know what for a second? As I was driving over, I confused Bakersfield with Battle Creek, Michigan. Because where Rob Van Dam is from? Oh, is he really? Yeah. Also, that's where, like, all the major cereals are from. Oh, you're right.

Battle Creek, Michigan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And apparently it smells like cereal in the air there. I would live there. I love cereal. Oh, do you have a big cereal? What's your favorite cereal on three? One, two, three.

Cinnamon Ches Crunch. Ooh, very close. Lucky Charms is number two. Yeah. Whoa. Oh, one, two. Switch it up. We have, like, 69ing favorites.

Yeah, what's a pepperoni that looks like a pocket book? He says pockets book. Pocket book. What? I think just because like a pocketbook is like a pocketbook is like a little, folded over. So I think it's just layer, layer, layer, layer, instead of them being spread out. I think he's like, oh, you just took six pepper. Don't stand up for knife. He's threatening with just his name. You know he's not knife.

How do they allow this on Yelp? By the way, not to brag, but I was a 2010 Yelp elite. You literally said that to me off air. Mm-hmm. Got to brag. Whoa, well, yeah, but I'm, you know, I got to let the people know. I peaked 15 years ago. I was, yeah. Oh, man, 2010. Heck of a time, heck of a time. Hey there, it's me, Michael. And now that we're in season four, I'm adding more content to my Patreon. Not only can you hear the extended Yelp from Stranger segment with three more reviews,

and not only can you get an exclusive full episode covering an extra chain restaurant on the last day of each month, but I've added an extra chat with my guests where we discuss their go-to fast food and chain restaurants and talk about why they love them so much. I hope you'll come check it out, and you can get your first week completely free of charge. That's patreon.com slash fine dining podcast. I appreciate and love you all back to the episode. That's part one. Tune in next week as we tell you what we thought about our meal making Papa Murphy's at home.

Yes, right. In the meantime, Peter, where can people get more of you online? Oh, check me out at Peter underscore Murphy on Instagram and peter murphy thecom. You can go to my website and find more information on where to see my comedy special. Amazing. And you can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at Fine Dining Podcast, Blue Sky, which I never used, fine dining podcast.comcast.combe.combe.combe.combe.combe. I have a Discord where you can come chat with me. I'm super accessible. I'll argue with you over dumb food takes. And I have a bot that yells at you if you say the word cheese. It's a fun time. And if you want extra episodes, I do an exclusive monthly episode on my Patreon, as well as, the full extended Yelp from Strangers segments and occasionally interviews and little bonus things. So, yeah, come on and join. It's a welcoming, fun place.

This is a listener-supported show. So I appreciate any and all support. In the meantime, we will just be sitting here one week waiting on our table as we get ready to talk about Papa Murphy's next week. Peter, thanks so much for joining. Yeah. We'll see you all next week. Have a fine day. Waiting on our table, waiting on our table

This step is done and we had some fun. Now we're waiting on our table, waiting on our table. Join us next time we're stuck in line. Waiting on our table. And you are served for mediocrity.