Fine Dining - Perfectly Adequate: Our Olive Garden Musical

Episode Date: November 16, 2022

WELCOME TO OUR MUSICAL EPISODE! You're reading that correctly! Michael & Garrett review Olive Garden The boys think they can top Olive Garden’s in-house soundtrack by creating one of their own! JUB gets a real job What's going on with there being SO MANY BIRTHDAYS at Olive Garden?? Former Olive Garden employee Trever Jones recounts meeting the love of his love on the job 3 year-old Yaretzi gives up on reviewing the kids menu, so her dad does it for her 7 full-length songs about Michael & Garrett’s night at Olive Garden: “We’re All Family Here” (10:15) Music by Kyle Schieffer Lyrics by Michael Ornelas & Garrett Zwerk Performed by Nick Adams, Cristina Bidagor, Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, & Kyle Schieffer Additional voices by Kyle Schieffer, Alessandra Hill, & Jonny from Fiverr “All We Want Is You (To Be Our Server)” (featuring alice the g00n) (26:45) Music by James McEnelly Lyrics by Garrett Zwerk & Michael Ornelas Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, & alice the g00n Additional voices by James McEnelly, Gabe Alvarez, Natalie Paniccia, & Caroline Paniccia “Send It Back!” (32:12) Music by Gabe Alvarez Lyrics by Gabe Alvarez Performed by Michael Ornelas & Garrett Zwerk Backing vocals by Gabe Alvarez Additional Voices by Alessandra Hill “Charge for Sauce” (42:39) Music by Kyle Schieffer Lyrics by Michael Ornelas Performed by Ben Valdmets, Michael Ornelas, & Garrett Zwerk Additional Voices by Kyle Schieffer “Room for Dessert” (featuring Ghettosocks) (52:48) Music by Fresh Kils Lyrics by Michael Ornelas & Darren Pyper Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, Ghettosocks, & alice the g00n “Perfectly Adequate” (featuring alice the g00n) (1:04:19) Music by Kyle Schieffer Lyrics by Michael Ornelas Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, & alice the g00n Backing vocals by Kyle Schieffer “We’re All Family Here (Reprise)” (1:08:49) Music by Kyle Schieffer Lyrics by Michael Ornelas Performed by Michael Ornelas, Garrett Zwerk, Nick Adams, & Cristina Bidagor Backing vocals by Kyle Schieffer Additional voices by alice the g00n & Ghettosocks All songs mastered by Perrier Grey   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your Olive Garden stories at [e-mail]   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a 5-star review on iTunes. We read every one!   TELL A FRIEND ABOUT OUR SHOW!   Next time on Fine Dining: Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.! If you have ever worked for Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. and have a story to share, or if you’d like us to hear your child’s review of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.’s kids menu, send it to [e-mail].

Hello again, and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I am your host, Michael Ornelas. And I'm your host, Garrett Zwerk. And we are on a mission to find you the perfect 5.00 restaurant out of 10. We want you to be able to say, you know what? It is better than Danny's, so it's a good restaurant. Or it's worse than Chili's, so it's objectively bad.

We're trying to find you the bar against which all restaurants can be measured. We're doing it so you don't have to. Based on? Atmosphere? Service? Food. Well, what's your credibility? Let me tell you.

We are Midwestern Rusty Boys. I'm a half-texi Midwesty Rusty Boy. And where we came from, things like Applebee's were fancy. And you know what? We are so mediocre, we are so equipped to do this. We are... We are mediocrity incarnate. We are mid as hell.

So we're going to find that restaurant for you. Garrett, what restaurant did you find for us this week? Oh man. This week, Olive Garden. Little place called Olive Garden. Not many people have heard of it. No, no. This was actually my first time at an Olive Garden.

That's not true. It actually was mine. Really? Well, second. I think I went when I was in fourth grade, but I really don't remember it. I grew up in... The young part of me grew up in Chicago, where all the Italian restaurants you go to are like mom-and-pop shops, and you don't really go to a bunch of chains.

So my Italian grandfather always took us to better-than-mediocre Italian places. So yeah, my experience with Olive Garden is very limited. So we thought going in, this would be mediocrity. It should be. And I guess we got to dive in and find out, was it mediocrity? Find dining party of tail. Hey, our table's ready. Our table's ready.

Your table is ready. Follow me. Have you tried our chicken breast? Serving pancakes and ribs. I recommend the spaghetti. We're here to satisfy, not to impress. Your table is ready. Complimentary butter and bread.

These walls have growth signs. Knit-knack cowboy hat. Good luck hat. Altograph guitar. Some crap from your city. Behold the trash key of mediocrity. Find dining. It's just fine dining.

Find dining. Find dining. Two ledgers on the sign aren't shining. Nail flickering irregular timing. Identify the perfect vibe. Roll a 10. Find dining. Find dining.

Hey Garrett, did you ever think of a name for that segment where you just throw a bunch of restaurant tidbits at us? Rusty fact roundup. The first Olive Garden opened up in, guess where? My gut says Florida. You are correct. It opened up in Orlando in 1982. Why do all chains come from Florida? General Mills, the cereal company, started Olive Garden.

Okay, I don't see it. I don't understand it, but okay. I want to be in that board meeting where it's like, oh, we got to get into Italian food. Let's do it. What do we call it? Just looking out his window. There's just a garden of olives. He was like, that's good enough.

Whatever. There are 900 plus locations worldwide now. So they succeeded and their current design is modeled off a real authentic in the stone Tuscan farmhouse. Well done. You stuck the landing. I did. I'm good at words. Yeah.

And by real Tuscan farmhouse. I mean a Tuscan farmhouse built by Olive Garden on their corporate property in Tuscan. So their inspiration for their American location architecture comes from a place that they still made in Italy. It's not even like modeled after something that is outside of Olive Garden. No, it's their own building. Why do they have? Okay. So this is the most corporate thing I've ever heard in my life.

It's beautiful. It's so branded. They have a campus where they send chefs from all over the world to train to learn to make homemade authentic Tuscan Olive Garden originated dishes. But on Olive Garden property in Italy. Yes. That almost feels like an embassy situation where it's like it's technically Olive Garden soil. You're safe and free from Italian laws when you're in here. I remember years ago they had an entire ad campaign based around sending chefs to get authentic Italian training.

They should have a slogan written on the wall inside that farmhouse that just says when you're here you're American. Their slogan used to be when you're here you're family and in 2018 they decided to change it. So they've got this extra slogan sitting around. What do you do with an extra slogan? Obviously you give it to Jimmy Fallon. That's of course what I was going to say. What you give it to? Yeah.

And then Jimmy Fallon. Hold on. Why are they giving it to Jimmy Fallon? You can't just like move past that. You know Olive Garden already they've proven they're all about corporate stunts. Okay so Jimmy Fallon now owns when you're here your family. Actually he gave it to someone else. Post Malone's favorite restaurant is Olive Garden.

So Jimmy Fallon had never been to an Olive Garden. So this feels so corporate. They went to Olive Garden together and Jimmy Fallon gifted the rights to the old slogan when you're here your family to post Malone. So what is it now? Now it's wait for it. It's vastly different. I'm gonna imagine it's a big departure. We're all family here.

Good job Olive Garden. Okay so they give they basically gave someone like a knockoff slogan. Like it's like when you give someone like the knockoff purse you have you're like oh I have the real one now. Okay that's weird whatever. What's actually funny about the whole like we're all family here thing is think about when we were in the restaurant. Everyone I'm not kidding you when I say every single person looked like they were related to the people they were there with. We're not making this up at all. It was creepy.

It was there it didn't look like anyone was on a date. It didn't look like anyone was there with like work friends. It didn't look like you know even just to bro like we were the only two people that like looked non homogenous sitting at a table together. Don't get me wrong this was a very diverse crowd of people but every table was related like are we out of play. Do you think they enforce it like the slogan we're all family here isn't like a welcoming gesture. It's a policy. It's a threat. Oh God I hope not.

I don't know how they would enforce it but I am fearful to think about it. And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor. Oh hi there it's your favorite sponsor job and I am back with a brand new job but this time I'm not offering you anything. I got to spend a little time and time out. It's fine though I'll be fine don't worry about me. It turns out that if you have a moon laser the government will take notice and put you in detention. I'm going to be okay though. They realized I wasn't trying to harm anybody so they just said get a real get a real job.

So I'm over there at the Olive Garden and they're like we need security. Why do you need security. You got to toss out anybody that ain't related. It's in our slogan. Look at it. You can't you can't be here not be family yet. You can't. It's look if you want to dine with work acquaintances go to friendlies.

It's in their name. Olive Garden is just for families. Job is their security guard. I'm on the straight and narrow. Don't worry about me but I'll be back. I'll be invented in no time. I'm just not going to invent anything that the government's going to want to shut down. I'm just taking a little time off.

Don't worry next week I'll have some cool for you. Just lay low. Okay. Bye. First impressions. So the first thing I noticed is outside the restaurant. We're walking up and I'm hearing like accordion music. Yeah.

We heard the music before we saw the restaurant. It felt like a Disney movie or something. And I was just like, you know what? This is setting a great ambiance. Like if you start any musical experience with accordion, you're doing things right. Yeah. And then we went inside. It seemed busy but there wasn't a wait for us.

And it was 7 p.m. on a Saturday, which is kind of weird. That was really weird. And literally every single table was full. I think we were just blessed and came there at the right time. And things were very quaint, you know, kind of felt like a like an Italian grandma's. Yeah. Like villa or something. Known as kitchen.

I liked it. But what I did really like inside, now we have more music. It's not accordion. It's a little bit jazzy or almost. And I actually expected the music to be full of bangers. And I saw a Reddit post when I was doing some research about Olive Garden beforehand. And a user by the name of squarely rooted 98 from like four years ago was like employees of Olive Garden.

What is the source of the music that plays in the restaurants? It seems like whatever playlist or radio Olive Garden uses is always really good. Does anyone know if this is a playlist I can access? Like the fact that someone is seeking out the Olive Garden playlist. Like they are complete and they follow through in every single action of theirs. So music is no different. Just very deliberate. Let's train our chefs in Italy.

Yeah. Boom. Let's build a campus. Boom. Let's redesign these buildings. Boom. Look beautiful. Boom.

Done. Let's have the best music in all of chain restaurant history. That's nice and all, but I think we can do it better. Uh, hello? You two don't look related. Okay. Truly a crazy policy. Where's that security guard?

Okay. Can we talk to a host who's not profiling us? Hey there. Hey. Remember? Italian. Hello there. Table for two, please.

Come on, give us an Italian greeting. Eh sorry. Ciao. Benvenuti. Right this way. Come and see. Our little slice of Tuscany. Bring the kids.

Grab your parents. Nana and BULS. We're all family here. So kick of your shoes. We've got four tops with eight tops. We've got a dozen if you want. We've got room for your in-laws. Oncles.

Cousins. And dogs. But if we've got to branch in from your family tree. We'll kick you to the curb. And then we'll call security. Because we're all family here. You see, we're all family here. When every table is related.

Got us feeling so elated. We're family. Family. You probably think I'm joking. But we mean it earnestly. It sounds ridiculous. But we enforce it fervently. And an image to uphold.

When you're in and out of garden. It's right there in the slogan. So don't go disregarding the fact that. We're all family here. You see, we're all family here. We think it's quite pathetic. We're tied with your genetics. We're family.

Family. Wow Garrett, are you hearing this? I don't think they figured out we're not related. Just keep your face covered by the menu. We can pull this off. Okay, okay, just blend in. You can order off the menu. Or just shout unlimited.

And once you finish, don't forget to give mom her insulin. Share your salad. Share your pasta. Share whatever we all mine. But if you don't share DNA. Our position is well defined. We'll take you to the kitchen. Don't even think about snitching.

You'll disappear forever. Nobody wants to wear them. Not technically a hostage. If you become the Dalian sausage. Becoming the Dalian sausage. She's not the Dalian sausage. Please don't tell them that. Michael, think that we're in trouble

if they notice what we look like. I think that we can pull this off with barely any pushback. If we fail it, this will end up in the chicken cacciatore. I'm legally adopting Garrett and we're sticking to this story. Daddy!

No, not here. You know what, not anywhere. But as you can see, if you look at him and you look at me, we mean it figuratively. That we're all family. You see, we're all family. I guess if you're adopted,

we won't make you feel unwanted. We're family. Family. Family. Our family. Family. Papa. Please dude, there is so much focus on us right now.

Yes, we're going to have to ask you to please get down from the table and stop with the jazz. Sorry. Seriously Garrett, this is just so we have the security clearance to be in here. Okay, I have no plans on filling the role of an actual father figure for you.

Come on, you know you love me. Yes son, I love you. Let's let the nice lady take us to our table now. Thanks daddy. Okay. Okay, so something actually kind of funny happened as we were asking to go to our tables. They brought us to a section

that was kind of like completely buried. We were like in the corner, in like a side room of the restaurant. I think that's where they try to hide anyone that's not related, or at least in this case adopted. They're just like, you don't look close enough. You're not the vibe we want.

We don't want to become Italian sausage dude. You don't look close enough. You're not the kind of vibe we want. That's the message that Olive Garden is throwing out there. And so they took us off to that side area and for the podcast we like to people watch so we can get the lay of the land. So we asked about that.

They bring us back to the front of the restaurant to wait again. That's what we get for being a pain in the ass. And then immediately they're like, oh we have something. And then they take us again. And it was just like one of those things where you feel embarrassed because you think everyone's looking at you

and you're making excuses as you pass people. We just forgot. You know that vibe that I'm talking about? It's like a good defense mechanism in moments like that. I walk around with the cane a lot of the time. So if I have a cane, I can do no wrong. That's fair. Everyone's just like, oh poor, poor cane. We'll just walk with the poor cane guy.

Which I actually have. No, I know. I was going to say this isn't like a stunt you're doing. No, there's no stunt. You are in physical disarray. That's a good way to put it. You're held together by band-aids and bubble gum. Yeah, close enough. But no, having to go back by everyone again,

I felt like that rush you get when you're a middle schooler going through the cafeteria line a second time hoping they don't notice. Also, I think you care more about what people are thinking than I do. I'm less aware of that. That's fair. But yeah, so we got taken to our seat and then we get to sit down and take a look at the...

Atmosphere. Dude, what was with that electronic ordering machine right at the table? I mean, we know what it's about. Lots of chain restaurants are doing it. But it's so out of feel for the Italian thing. But it has games on it too. Did you see the games?

They usually do. Really? Yeah, like Outback and Chili's that I've been to within recent years, they have trivia or little things to keep kids entertained. I've never really paid attention to those. But I will say that it sticks out like a sore thumb when you're doing the Tuscan villa feel.

You just don't expect electronics. You expect candles and a dimly lit... A candle and a canvas? Yeah. Yeah, a canvas would be probably... I mean, if you're looking for an equivalent, I don't actually expect anything but a restaurant when I go to a restaurant.

Yeah, it was a little jarring for the vibe of the place. Also jarring the stock photo on the wall next to it of the lady... What was she like, eating a cake and then looking over to her co-worker, friend, fiance, whatever he was. And I... Okay, you see the stock photography models around.

I swear I've seen this woman somewhere else before. Oh, she makes banks. She is just the go-to... All right, listeners at home, just imagine a woman in a stock photo. That's who it is. That's the one, the one you're thinking of. Now, there were a lot of birthdays,

but hey, it's only families, so what do you expect? Yeah, I guess it's like the family, like, oh, Timmy turns 11 today, off to Olive... There were four birthday songs sang throughout the course of our stay, and we joined in. Every single one. Every single one. Like, it's...

We're birthday sluts. Like, we know it. Like, every single birthday song, it's just a matter of... We want to be a part of it. Yeah, and I think it makes the target... That sounds so weird to the target. The recipient? The birthday receiver?

Yeah. Yeah, it makes that person feel like they are number one in the restaurant. Honestly, like... Because we started doing this at other restaurants, too. It is fun. Yeah, it is fun. And we get the other tables around us to join in, too. It's contagious.

Yeah, not like... We're not, like, standing over them like, hey, you know, you gotta... You gotta do the thing. Do the thing. But, uh, no, what was... So what was really funny is, remember, there was that table. It must have been, like, a 12-top or something.

It was a lot of people. Oh, yeah. And I remember they were the first one of all the birthdays in the restaurant. They were so happy we sang along. The mom who looked at me with a light in her eyes. I don't know if she was the mom or, like, the auntie or something like that, but she looked over with just this gracious, like, thank you so much.

You made my boys' day so special. And within a minute, someone else's birthday song starts, and we join in, and the look of betrayal that she shoots at me was just like, I thought it was just for my... And then even better, I could see her like, well, I don't want to rain on this parade. And she sang along. She sang along, but it was so sad.

It was just like, happy birthday. Like, imagine someone looking bummed while singing happy birthday. No, just, okay, picture the moment you're corralled into the break room at work and your most hated co-worker has a birthday. So you still have to sing to him? Yeah, yeah, it was that same vibe. It was like the co-worker I don't like, but I'm going to join in because otherwise people will notice.

It's like, oh, Nancy always steals my food. Why is it her birthday? Yeah. But like, I don't know, man, I still think that four... That's too many birthdays to where I think there's something strange going on. Yeah, I want to know what's going on over there. What's going on over there? What's going on over there?

Should I wear it? Should I damn? What is going on over there? Why are there so many birthdays at Olive Garden? I have... I have... Look, okay, I'm not a scientist. I would like to preface this theory with,

I am not a scientist. But you are a rusty boy. I am a half Midwest-y, half-texy, rusty boy. And that gives me some level of credibility. So even though I'm not a scientist, I'm going to say that when you go to an Olive Garden, time and space intersect in such a way where it is simultaneously every day of the Gregorian calendar

and it makes it actually everyone's birthday. You should see my face right now. I'm starting to sweat. Not even just every day of the year, but it's also every year of your life simultaneously. So when we were there... We were family. And we were in all places and all times at that moment.

At that moment, yes. You're getting it. You're getting it. So we were 50 years from now. We were also the moment of our birth. Which is the defining feature. Which is the defining feature. Everyone there was being born in that moment. Everyone there was living their lives.

Everyone was dying in that moment. You live Olive Garden, you die Olive Garden. You are born into Olive Garden. I can't get the picture of conception out of my head right now. Not conception, just delivery. I mean, I guess there are plenty of concepts. I guess you don't want that next to your breadsticks. Oh, God.

It's a very existential feeling to be in an Olive Garden. And that's what I think is going on over there. Okay, so now we have to fully rate this atmosphere. I liked it. I did too. I like the idea of being in a place of perpetual time and space. I like all the, like the birthdays were fun. And my favorite thing about the atmosphere honestly was the music.

I thought the music was very fun, light. It gave us a lot. It gave me a good experience. The stock photo was stupid in such a way that I really enjoyed. The only thing that was really a knock against the atmosphere for me was that electronic payment machine that just felt so out of place. But I'm still going to go two thumbs up. Okay.

And hey, I'm with you on that. Everything was consistent and it was exactly what I expected. Yeah. I'm just, I'm eternally thrilled when my expectations are met. And I expected an Italian villa slash farmhouse. And you got it. And I got exactly that. And the music bangers.

Yeah. Absolute bangers. Banger after banger, but I think we're doing it better. Yeah. So two thumbs up for the atmosphere. Two thumbs up. Let's move on. Service.

So we had two waiters just like it out back. We've had two servers a few times now. This time, the reason I believe is just a lunch break. You know, she went on her lunch, the first lady. They were nice enough. The way I guess I would describe the first person that served us was multi-cultural. She seemed like she was everything except Italian. However, she weirdly had like a bad Italian accent, which I feel like might be a theme

here. Like our people just pretending to be Italian when they walk through the Olive Garden doors. Hey, they are all cultures at once. This multiverse theory is getting out of control. It explains a lot of our experience. Explain a lot of our experience. Now the switchoff happened. The guy wasn't, you know, super different or anything.

Didn't have an accent. No, no, he met our needs. He was, you know, trying to get an order out of us. So that was kind of my big issue with the service. It drove me up a wall. They were so persistent that we order. We sat down and she came to our table and was like, hi, do you know what you'd like to order? That was the first greeting we heard.

We like to take our time a little bit. I don't think we're unreasonable, but you know. And like we're taking notes. We're looking over things. We're taking pictures. There's a process and it takes a bit longer. Yeah, you know, we're writing down the things we're noticing in the atmosphere and we're writing down our first impressions and all that stuff.

And to be kind of pushed to have your order ready. And we say, we haven't even looked at the menu yet. They come back a minute and a half later, a minute and a half. That's not enough time. We're not ready yet. They were so pushy to get our order in. It's almost as if they know what's happening. They are in all times at once.

Yeah. They're like, look, I already can see what you ordered. I know what you're going to order because I'm from the slight future. Yeah. Yeah, it was weird. I don't really understand why they were pushing so hard. I mean, maybe that's why there wasn't a wait at seven o'clock on a Saturday because they're processing people so quickly because then consistently the whole time we were there,

every table was full. Yeah. So it must have been that. I understand it, but it doesn't make for a good experience when you're kind of being rushed along and you're trying to take in and have a nice dinner. No. It's not like we're trying to squat there for like three hours or anything like that, but we want to not feel rushed.

I think that's fair to say. That is completely fair. Now, once we ordered, service fell off a cliff, but they still brought food out really fast. Like really fast. Like we ordered the breadsticks with the dipping sauces, which by the way, they brought the dipping sauces first. That was a little weird. What are we supposed to do?

There was a spoon and chunky marinara. Yeah. Just in the middle of the table, but no breadsticks yet. And we're just like sitting there for like, I don't know, a minute and a half, just like staring at this bowl of sauce. Like, I don't know what we're going to do. And I think they noticed and brought over the breadsticks, which again, fairly quickly because they're at a breakneck pace.

But then cutting through all this breakneck speed, there was just like this angel. You know who I'm talking about. Oh yeah. The girl who dropped off our calamari. Cool calamari delivery girl. CCDG as we have come to refer to her as. It's as if time stood still like we only had what, 10 seconds with her? If that, but it was the most meaningful 10 seconds of our entire night.

Your experience knowing that that 10 seconds technically lasted forever was a beautiful thing. Like I remember I said, hey, thanks. We appreciate you after she dropped off our calamari and she just looked at us and was like rock on rock on. It was just one of those things where I'm just like, you're cool. You're fun. You have like a good vibe.

I don't know who says rock on anymore, but I feel like she was the first one to actually take the time to engage with us there. Yeah. I agree. Don't you wish she had been our server? Honestly, I can't stop thinking about it. Like just that one interaction was perfection. Well, maybe we can relive it here in the podcast where it's safe.

I can just picture her now. Here's that appetizer you asked for. Hey, thanks. We appreciate you. Rock on. Wow. She's cool. I just wish there was a way for us to tell her.

Let's sing about her and let her know. You were just here for only seconds and made a connection. We swing around and check in. We wish we were seated in your section. You made us feel like we were family. Though we're not related. Even with never ending pasta. You're the one that used to say she ain't had.

The other servers, they made us anxious. What's your order? Sauce is extra. Oh my God, that order. Try the specials. Here's a never ending bowl of bull shit. You rock on truly impressed us. Of the service child, I can't break through.

But all we want is you. We fall apart, but you're the glue. We hope you rock on too. All we want is you. To be our server. When I brought you your appetizer. You were captivating. Our banter, it caught fire.

That I'm pulled away. I'm devastated. I'm forced to watch across the room. Your positivity's infectious, he's gone. The whole place singing happy birthday. Oh my God, I want you in my section. But now my shift is through. It's over, it's time to go.

I'm gone, but I still feel connected. I hide you for seconds and I'm still affected. Now I'm reflecting in my review. All I want is you. I'm falling apart, but you're the glue. This feeling is brand new. All I want is you. To be my server.

You were born zero, I think of what could have been. This misconnection doesn't have to be permanent. All I want is you. I hide you for seconds and I'm still affected. All I want is you. All I want is you. All I want is you. To be my table.

I am the table of your heart. All I want is you. To be our server. I don't know, we had a specific, we'll call it an incident that occurred and it would have been nice to be able to flag someone down about it more quickly than we were able to. What incident? You know the incident. The incident that forced an interaction we assumed would be uncomfortable with our waiter. Oh yeah, where you sent back food.

Why should we keep something that isn't good? This is America, damn it. We take what large corporations give us and don't fight back. What was even going through your head? Come on. Do you really want to know? Tell me. All right, here's a look inside my head.

All righty, I've got your calamari. Oh, that's not very good. Why did we order the calamari? The texture is robbery, it's ugly. How could it be less than fine? Come on, it's fried. What should we say will they take this away? The chef go insane when he learns we complained and returned his plate.

All of the breadsticks and the pasta bowls can't change how I feel. That's a fact. But oh, the shame might make me eat the cost of this meal. Or I guess here's the deal, I could send it back. Hey, uh, Garrett. Yeah? You're not really touching the calamari and I'm not really liking it. No, it's not any good.

What if we returned it? How could you think of just sending back food? How do you say this? I'm not going to eat this. So waiter, please, we'll send this back. How could you say something so profane? I mean, it's obscene. It's my truth.

And I'm trying to live it. This food is so shit, why commit? We could tip like we got it. They brought it. Will I still get fluck if I send it back? Send it back. Send it back. Send it back.

No, this jacket was fine. But there's something in luck. Send it back. Send it back. Hugo, no, you do it. Come on, I can't do it. Hey, I'm so sorry, I know how this looks. But could we get this off our tab?

Okay. Oh, really? Okay. Please don't tell the girl that brought it. Okay. You and I just took control of our lives. The next time we get something with no delay, we will say waiter, please we'll send this back.

It just felt a lot better once we sent it back. And it was like off our table, off our tab, like we tipped on it. Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do. Like we tipped as though it hadn't been removed. But you only sent it back because you're a fussy little boy. Yeah, I'm not even going to argue this time. Michael is a fussy little boy.

Michael is a fussy little boy. Baby. Michael is a fussy little boy. Michael is a fussy little boy. I do stand by my decision, though. So anyways, he was cool with it, didn't make a, didn't hassle us and between that and cool calamari delivery girl. My rating for service isn't as bad as it would have been

because of all the rushing. So I'm only going to go one thumb down overall for the service. And that's just because I felt like genuinely very overwhelmed by how quickly they were kind of pushing us along. And you know what? Actually, I'm going to give out this week's This is Way Too Much Award to the pace with which they tried to process us. This is...

This week's This is Way Too Much Award goes to the pace at Olive Garden. We're not cattle, nor Italian sausage, thanks to the adoption. You know what else has been Way Too Much? All of your support. We've been on the Apple food charts literally since the week of our launch and we want to keep climbing. We appreciate all the reviews you've left,

all the ratings, all the downloads. Please keep them coming. I want to read one of my favorite recent reviews and if you're the one who wrote this and you hear this, email us. And we'll send you a free shirt. Any of you listening, feel free to write us a review and if you're selected for the show, the same will apply.

So this week's review comes from Walter9966. You guys are having fun and that comes through loud and clear. Speaking of loud and clear, your technical quality and clarity are out of this world. I'm expecting great things from this team for a long time. Great listen on team flight. Thanks so much, Walter. We really appreciate it.

Everyone else, leave a review. Go ahead, follow us on our social media at Find Dining Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. We might be doing some merch giveaways there as well. And speaking of merch, we actually have two brand new shirts that we chose from, one commemorating all the car crashes that seemed to happen at Pizza Hut, which we referenced on our episode last week,

and that one was drawn by Disney artist Brandon Gully. It's an awesome shirt design. Then we also have our commemorative shirt for this very musical, our Olive Garden Perfectly Adequate logo shirt. Go check those out. Y'all are way too much. So, you know what? I'm going to go a little different.

Cool calamari delivery girl. Really saved the day. It may have been 10 seconds, but she made us feel valued. Sure. Thanks to her, I'm going to give this a one thumb up. Just because she said rock on, we get a positive service experience from you. Hey, she was song worthy so she can bump a rating.

It makes all the difference. All right, we'll be right back after a short employee story. Hello, my name is Trevor and I met my wife at the Olive Garden. It was the summer of 2004 and I moved away from home to go to UCLA, up to Westwood, and I was broke. I needed a job. I needed to pay for stuff, so I was looking for a job. Olive Garden was hiring.

I went through the training, got my uniform, and I was serving tables. One day, this pretty girl walked by me and I thought to myself, hey, who's this? I used the cheesy pickup line, something like, hey, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to let you know. I think I got this from Fresh Prince of Bel Air or something. It worked and I got lucky because that was a bad one. We started to date.

We made out in the elevator a few times. The walk-in freezer, which was awesome. One day, I needed a ride to school. I didn't have a car back then. I had a little scooter, but anyway, she's dropping me off at school and this bus pulls up behind us. It's kind of a rushed moment. I was like, oh crap.

So I'm jumping out of the car. I'm going to close the door and I say, I love you. And I was like, oh no. And she replies, I love you too. Door closes and I'm just staring at her frozen in time. Like, what the heck have I just done? And you know, the bus is whatever. So she drives away.

I get on my blackberry and I'm just like, what do I do? So I'm texting her, hey, so about that. Like, you know, I love you, but I don't, but I do. And you know, I had said it, you know, and it was true. You know, I loved her. And yeah, the rest is history, you know, like many years later, you know, we're married with kids and happily ever after, right? Like, so, you know, I'm grateful to the Olive Garden, you know,

not only do they have those delicious breadsticks and all you can eat soup and salad. I don't know if they still do that, but they helped me meet the love of my life. So I'm forever grateful to you, Olive Garden. I will forever be in your debt. Food. All right, Garrett, it is time to talk about the food.

All you can eat dipping sauces. Yes, we're going in order of appearance. We got a bowl of sauce before we got anything else, just like this overly chunky marinara in a shallow bowl plate, half dish sort of thing. Quarter of it was taken up by a single onion. Yeah, it was not the sexiest presentation. And then they bring the breadsticks, which are all you can eat

and not good, at least the batch we had. They did not taste like they had any flavor. I offended. These were the worst Olive Garden breadsticks I have ever had by far. They tasted like the texture of bread, but no taste. Actually, no, bread and butter, that was it. And it wasn't a butter taste of freshly turned butter. It didn't taste like bread.

It was artificial butter. Yeah, the butter tasted like butter, and then the bread tasted like actual nothing. And it's like they were seasoned. Like I expected, you looked at the top, they had salt and garlic on it, but I couldn't taste it. Any of it. Yeah, it was the craziest phenomenon to put a breadstick

and chew it and be like, oh, I'm getting nothing. Hey, I guess that's the taste of a free breadstick. I guess. Yeah, I don't know. It bugged me. And also, okay, it is a racket to me that they charge you for the dipping sauces. Like if you, in the history of restaurants,

like just pay for the thing, make us pay for the thing, charging for the, like don't, it seems too faced. Yeah, okay. I see what you're saying. So you think they're trying to trick us. Yeah. I didn't realize we were getting free breadsticks. So I look at the menu and they're like, oh yeah,

the breadsticks are free. I was like, okay, then yeah, I'll have marinara sauce. Like that's kind of like the way the interaction went. And so when I saw that there was a four dollar surcharge for the marinara sauce, I was not a happy boy. No, you weren't. It's a racket. Do you want to get that?

Wait, are our voices reverberating? Damn it. I think we're about to do another song. Come in. I don't know where you two get off, calling us out for charging $3.99 for dipping sauce. Hey man, chill. Who are you?

I'm a generic corporate representative in charge of a chain restaurant, much like the one you're reviewing in this episode. Are you referring to yourself in a vague manner to cover our asses from a legal perspective? You bet your sweet asses I am. Very considerate, but you know what isn't considerate? Making flavorless free breadsticks

under the guise of generosity and then price gouging us when it comes to the sauce. I feel like I'm giving everything away. What's just a few bucks for sauce? Everything? Name even one other thing. I give you breadsticks, oh so generous. Hell, a paper that they're wrapped in.

I won't charge it all for that. Or the basket that they're stacked in. I'm so gracious, philanthropic. Water's free, no fee for the ice. We drop in the glass. Dance on me, babe. Hey, take a straw. I promise not to profit.

But I got to make a buck somehow. My yacht won't guess itself from a teensy tiny little ask is starting to develop. Try and enjoy your breadsticks without anything to dip them in. Or just give me four dollars. That's all that I'm soliciting. So I charge for sauce.

It will add some flavor. The price is too large for sauce. You got to try the Alfredo. It's just an added cost. What are you afraid of? Well, I'm making amado from marinara. Your cutlery complimentary. The napkin wrapped around it.

Everything that matters here is practically our gratis. Just $3.99 for sauce. So please reach into your pockets. Give me that haul. Oh, that's my trumpet. I see you want to take that home to go contain us on the house.

But corporate greed has run amok. Well, this free black pepper's given me some doubts. How about these entrees? Desserts inside? Don't be so myopic. This appetizer's a pretty penny. Stop trying to change the topic.

I mean, I need to check myself. Yeah, check yourself. Allow me to give you boys a bonus when your meals concluded. Here's free paper that shows you how much you owe us. Where you'll see our charge for sauce and your appetizer.

Right, charge for sauce and all the sides are charge for sauce by a beware of I'm making my dough from marinara charge for sauce Desserts and entrees charge for sauce

Yes, you don't pay a living wage charge for sauce Wanna set up Making all our dough with marinara Making all the dough from marinara Here, have a mint while I make one Making all my dough from marinara Where's our Andes like mint made by Olive Garden?

Yeah, they didn't give us that because we paid on the little electronic thing. Bullshit. Yeah. Alright, I guess we'll go back to reviewing. You know, we had the calamari. I don't think we need to say a lot about that. We literally sent it back.

That's all that needs to be said about the calamari. The taste was bordering on okay, but the texture was like kind of inedible. It was rubbery. Like, you know when you have a really stale gummy ring? That's what it was like to try and chew. I was just like, oh, I'm not going to get through this. I'll say one good thing about the calamari.

The breading was fine. Yeah. I mean, look, it was a thing where I was almost like, I don't hate it, but we're not eating it. Like if it's not appealing enough for us to be like, like we had one or two each. That was it. And they had a lot on it.

So it was just one of those things where like, these are really small calamari. There's no point in keeping it. Soups. Yeah. My minestrone was very good. I was surprised. I mean, I guess it's not that hard of a soup to make maybe,

but they have really good minestrone. We've had not good minestrone in places before. Yeah. But I dug it. And then you had the chicken gnocchi soup. Oh man, that was good. I love their chicken gnocchi soup. That's one of my favorite dishes there.

Yeah. I will say this was better than their average chicken gnocchi soup. It was very tasty. Sure. I would go just for that soup. You looked like you were having a good time. I mean, I would say the minestrone was one of the stronger entries to my entire meal.

So I get you. The soup is, soups were strong. I guess one of their things is soup salad and breadsticks. Right. So calamari, trash, breadsticks, trash. Soups, pretty solid. I will say this was the first time I've ever had trash breadsticks at Olive Garden, though, to be fair.

Before this experience, they've always been great. I have heard them so hyped up. And then, you know, I gave the breadsticks a lot of chances. Because people say that they're good. So it's like, you know, I had probably two from the first batch. Then they, you know, brought more breadsticks later. And I was like, oh, well, it's a different batch. And I had two of those and none of them were good.

And so I feel like I just like put all of this space into my stomach and I'm just getting so slow. You're just bitter about it. I'm so bloated. I was like, I could have saved that space for something else. So, hey, audience members, do you guys have any opinions on these breadsticks? Because we have a pretty negative opinion on this experience.

And we'd like to hear if anyone had good breadsticks. But you sound like you historically had good Olive Garden breadsticks. I've had like, it sounds like it was a batch problem. Very much sounded like a batch problem. But we rate this is the night. This was the night we were there. Our rating is based on this experience. So entrees.

So I had the angel hair with meat sauce and I got a crispy chicken fritta on top. Nothing too special about it, but good enough to call it decent. The chicken fritta was way better on its own than the pasta itself. And pasta is usually a layup. I'm a spaghetti boy. I love spaghetti to the ends of the earth. If I had to choose a last meal for any reason, I would probably go with like a spaghetti and a garlic bread.

Oh, wow. You should have gotten my meal then. Yeah. Because I got the spaghetti and meatballs. And I'll say those noodles, woo. Some of the stronger noodles I've had, the consistency was done just right. Little al dente. I know you like your al dente a lot.

I do. So that helps me up. But the sauce, sauce was meh. Okay. And the meatballs, honestly, they tasted like they were the canned spaghetti meatballs. That's not a great endorsement of the meatballs. Yeah. I was surprised that the chicken fritta was as good as it was.

But I mean, like it's breaded chicken. It's kind of hard to mess up. But yeah, the pasta was very average. I'm glad you liked your pasta. I know it's great. I ate almost all of it. Oh, yeah. That's the thing.

We kept gorging ourselves. And I'm so bitter about those breadsticks because, you know, as part of our just our normal night out, whenever we go to a restaurant for the podcast, we try it all, right? Exactly. We get whatever the starter is, whether it's a bread or something like that. We eat significantly more than we regularly would if we go out to eat. We both get entrees. We usually taste both of each other's entrees.

If we're there with friends, we'll actually taste up off of their plate too. And then we still want dessert, but now that I'm in like breadstick land, I'm just shoving it down. And you know what? I'm going to push through. I wanted dessert. You did not. No way.

You were, it felt like you were trying to give me like an intervention. Like I had the willpower in the drive to give all of you a full up and down review of the and that's what got me through it. It's force feeding, but yeah, we do it. But I care about your health. Yeah. And I really think you went back into this place that you haven't been in since last year, at least what my overeating.

Yeah. Like a switch flipped in me or something. And the switch flips and suddenly you can all control an unlimited amount of food. Well, not that I can. I just, you know, you push through the pain. Garrett, I would have to say that there's always room for dessert. Always. But still, let's bite the bullet.

Calamari sent it back, but still managed a few bites. No compliments to the show. That's what I call a food fight. Endless breadsticks and marinara sauce too. Minestrone, chicken gnocchi, but let's still grow the balls to motion over the waiter. Have him read us the menu. I'm bloated. I'm in pain.

And for that, I commend you. I think I'll vomit if I hear about their sweets. I don't care though, because I'm out for treats. Ooh, I am too full for this. Ooh, but there's some clouds in essence. You've made it through past times. It's been in your last time. It will hurt, but there's always room for dessert.

I hope it saved room for dessert. Cause my creamy black tie mousse cake will have you losing your shirt. And the strawberry cream cake with ice cream is who's in the melt. So treat yourself blue and loosen your belt. Look, here's what we'll do. I'll bring some tiramisu, a pair of these spoons, and let you love birds, tear it in two. Wait, y'all look like you smoked a pound of the ganja.

And we'll probably be fond of the chocolate brownie lasagna. See, I'm on to ya. But don't wild and go nuts. Hold up, how about some nice, warm Italian donuts? Uh, I'm sorry, I got to interject. It's actually called Zeppeli. Please, respectfully, don't correct me, Mr. Weatherbee. Relax, mister, I'm just kidding for Pete's sake.

I think you need to taste this Sicilian cheesecake. Ricotta's nice and light, it ain't fillin' your beef cakes. Only $9.29, so don't be stingy, you cheap skates. Ooh, I am too full for this. Ooh, I feel so proud to mess with some American pastime. Spent in your last time. Eat to your heart, but there's always room for dessert. Warm Italian donuts, swimming down through my esophagus.

I guess this is way too much, I wish the waiter hadn't spotted us. Powdered sugar's tasty on a pastry, is this heaven? Basically Ben, yay! Zeppelini can get it, chocolate dip, raspberry. How aren't you full yet? What? You want to eat it all until your tummy's upset? Only upsetting thing here is in this chocolate glaze.

It tastes just like latex. It's a waste of space. Gotta face the facts, raspberry is based. While this chocolate paced his ass. The waste of your pants is growin' by the second. I gotta keep goin'. No you don't, I gotta step in. Really dude, I'm worried, don't continue overeating.

I feel you, I concur, but after dinner, food's appealing. Stop, and you'll live past your fifties. Alright alright, it's fine, I'm fine, okay? Give us the check, please. Ooh, I am too full for this. Ooh, I feel so proud to miss this American restaurant. Spent in your last time. Eat till you hurt, but there's always room for dessert.

As you probably put together from that song, we ordered the warm Italian donuts, as they say on the menu, or as I grew up knowing it, seeply, as my grandfather would say, which we found out is an incorrect pronunciation, but we didn't have the heart to tell them. It's actually zeppole, but they're basically beignets. They're powdered sugar on these warm Italian donuts. I mean they're named accurately.

And then we got to choose dipping sauces. And we asked for both, because we wanted to try them, right? Yeah, chocolate sauce and raspberry sauce. And again, as you probably heard in the song, chocolate, not good, tasted like ass. It tasted like what I imagine a balloon tastes like. It tasted like the inside of a balloon that's just been recently deflated after somehow holding

rotten air for over a month. Like it was someone's birthday three weekends ago, and you just found the balloon under your couch, and then it pops open and you get a little whiff. It tastes like the inside of a frontline worker's latex glove. I hate that so much, but it's not wrong. I've never seen chocolate messed up so much before. Hey, it tastes worse than one time.

Am I going to have to cut this? I don't know, we'll see. I took every kind of chocolate I could find in my kitchen, mixed it together in a pot. You did tell me about this. Threw in some marijuana oil, and I made special chocolates. They tasted terrible. Not because of the oil, but because I mixed together

about 10, 12 different types of chocolates, including Hershey's kisses. Yeah. The raspberry sauce, though, on the flip side, was a winner. Have you ever seen a dessert go from bad to good so quickly, just depending on which ramekin you dipped it into? Well, I guess you could simulate that if you dip your dessert into pond water.

What's actually interesting is, I think it goes to show what a solid baseline the zeppelin is, where it's like, it is very malleable, it's taste is malleable based on what you're pairing it with. Because overall, it was actually a similar sensation to the bread stick, where I wasn't getting a lot of bread flavor to it.

It was just kind of a vehicle for the dipping sauce. I don't know, I still, I liked the flavor of it. I tasted the powdered sugar. The powdered sugar I was tasting, but the actual bread of it, I feel like it wasn't coming through strongly. Overall, though, I liked it and hated it. It just depended on the sauce. It was really like I went both ways with this dessert.

Listeners, just if you're getting the warm Italian donuts, go for the raspberry sauce. Yeah, just do yourself that favor. Okay, so overall with the food, I'm giving it one thumb down. It's not horrible, but it wasn't good. The minestrone, I really liked. The beignets, with the raspberry sauce, I really liked.

The crispy chicken fritta. You know, it was basically like everything that was good was paired with something that was bad. But I think that the bad kind of outweighed the good, because like, I mean, we're literally sending back a dish. It makes sense. Like, hey chefs, we're going to train you in Italy. As a promotional stunt.

Right, yeah, they're not truly trained. I mean, they are trained within the borders of Italy, but as we've established, it's basically an embassy. It's an Olive Garden embassy in the middle of Italy. You know, I'm not here to like knock on any chefs or anything. I'm here to knock on, quite frankly, the restaurant's recipe for some of these things. I just, I don't know, they could do better at a lot of these dishes.

They're not offensively bad, right? No. I'm not giving it both thumbs down. I'm giving it one thumb down. And even then, it's not like the most adamant thumb down. But I think it is an honest assessment for my experience of the food. I agree. Yeah.

With just one thumb down, the food, it wasn't terrible. Yeah. And I really think the Italian donuts with raspberry sauce specifically saved the day for me. Yeah. If I could end the meal on a high note, I can think more fondly of it. Sure. I think that's a very valid memory.

I think my last bite was chocolate though. Oh yeah. If I, if I, if I think about it, my last bite was chocolate. And I'm like, oh man, I walked out of there with just a worse palette. I think we walked over to baked bear and got cookies afterwards. Oh, those were so good. So that's, that's the food. We'll be right back.

Hey! Munchkin menu musings. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! I'm maybe seven. Yeah, I'm three years old.

Three, four, five. I want the Christmas eyes. Why don't you close your eyes? Here, color with me, yeah? No. Do you want to make a cheese? Yeah. Let's make it.

Come on daddy. No, no, we're not going to make it right now. Come here. We're not leaving. I want the foam. You have it there, you fucking. So my daughter, I'm the dad of Yaretsi. She is three years old.

I'll be giving her a review of the Olive Garden kids menu. She opened the first page. She started coloring where, where it says time to connect the dots. So she started coloring the time machine. She lost interest. She looked at the next page where it says Viking maze. She didn't want to do anything. There was a one number six called Julia Caesar.

She bought the difference. She could care less to find a difference or she couldn't figure out what the difference is until she did mention the coin. But I don't know if she got that. She got lucky. She liked the word search, but I think she just liked it because she could say ABC. I gave her the option of choosing the phone or the menu. And she looked at me and she choose the phone. Took it out of my pocket.

So I think a rating of Olive Garden is like a one and a half pasta out of five pastas. Thank you. Final rating. Okay, so we have to give a final rating so we can figure out what score Olive Garden gets on the Chachki of mediocrity. Garrett, can you explain the Chachki of mediocrity to the people? So every week we place a rating on up on the Chachki of mediocrity, which is this beautiful Frankenchachki. We have mounted on the wall of our studio. It's got a guitar.

It's got a boat paddle. It's got juicy. Yeah, my son, Juicy, the pineapple with googly eyes and a handlebar mustache. It's got long horns. It's got a boomerang. It's got a paddle with our logo. Our very first picture taken together at Outback. I like that one.

It's every single wall Chachki that you've seen at these places just merged into one. And in the center of it, a giant surfboard from which you can see zero to 10 and a running tally of all of the restaurants we have been to so far. And you can see where they've placed and how they compare. We're looking for that perfect 5.00 out of 10. Olive Garden, you have made a strong case for mediocrity. What do you have to say for yourself? Even if it's Michelin, I want to point five on Yelp. Like ice cold in Dearborn, Michigan.

You have 10 points to give. By only one half of them, your search for mediocrity is over before it has begun. Middle of the world most traveled. One simple truth has unraveled. I'm perfectly adequate. Not too good or too bad at it. I've got to be your perfect 5.00. I'm perfectly adequate.

As unexceptional as you can get. Tell me and I'll feel alive. I picked you for a reason. Service, food and ambience. So adequate, limiting. You're practically the cherry line. I don't eat here for a reason. Mediocre at best, but at a worst we're still okay.

That's making me feel so depressed. So approach me with caution. There's always a better option. I'm perfectly adequate. I'm so nervous, let's get down to it. Score me now, I've got to know. If I'm perfectly adequate, then give me your analysis. I want to be a 5.00.

You're perfectly adequate. No hate, but a lot of benefit. On my skill, you're a 5.09. Scoring higher, you're coming in at 5.11. Higher than a perfect 5. Imperfectly adequate, a 5.10 average. The height of mediocrecy. Imperfectly adequate of this, we are passionate.

Exactly what it means to be fine. Fine guiding. Holy crap. Okay, this is definitely the most mediocre we have been to so far. 0.10 away from us ending the podcast. What's even crazier is that our individual scores were 0.02 away from one another. We were very in step on this. I gave a 5.09, you gave a 5.11.

That's honestly going to be tough to beat. This is going to be our beacon of mediocrity for a long time to come, I can imagine. Okay, we've got a perfectly adequate shirt too, I'll remind you again. It is the Olive Garden logo, but instead of Olive Garden, it says fine dining, perfectly adequate instead of Italian kitchen. It's actually a really great shirt design. I love the fabric, it feels so good against my skin. Okay. Did that disturb you a little?

Yeah. But yeah, we are now the closest we have ever been to the center of the Chachkiev mediocrity. It almost feels like Olive Garden is going to be sticking with us for a long time. It almost feels like we're family. Farewell. Arrivederci. This way, time to go. So sorry we fell short of your 5.0.

We are so close yet so far, but still it's clear to me. Your fine dining journey is what makes you family. Daddy? Dude, I adopted you, we get it. Can we talk about this when we're not literally in a song? Sorry, just do the song, I guess. We got free endless breadsticks, and yes, we were charged for sauce. We complained and then got scolded by the Olive Garden boss.

We professed our love to a waitress, just bringing calamari. And then we sent it right on back. And played a solo on guitar. It was almost perfectly adequate. Saved room for dessert and wrapped in batter, like we were family. We're all family. You see, we're all family. This episode's combined, our love of music with fine dining makes us family.

We are family. It makes us family of God. Don't forget to tip. Well, we're back outside of Olive Garden now. We need to go somewhere else, since we didn't find the perfect 5.00. Well, you know what that means. It's time to play The Headline Game. The rules of the headline game are as follows.

Garrett will present three headlines to Michael that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up, or they can be actual headlines. If Michael can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real or fake, he will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if Garrett stumps him, he'll select again. Are you ready to play, fellas? I am. Headline number one, what do you have for me?

Florida man arrested at Olive Garden after feeding pet alligator. I'm so mad at you. False. The details sound so generic that I don't trust you to not have made those up. Okay, next one. Headline number two, mayfly infestation temporarily closes Traverse City Olive Garden. True. Headline number three, Olive Garden worker saves five people from burning home in Camarillo. I could go either way on that.

I feel like for that to be covered in that way, it would have to imply that there is an Olive Garden in a residential area that could have seen it, or they're including the detail that they're an Olive Garden employee unnecessarily. I'm gonna say false. Okay, so the first one, Florida man arrested at Olive Garden after feeding pet alligator. Like it has to be true, but I said false. It's false, I made it up. Okay, cool. The genericism made me go false.

I actually took another headline and just switched a few words. That's against the rules. The next one, mayfly infestation temporarily closes Traverse City Olive Garden. False. Okay, that is false, although that's a real thing that happens in that area. The third one, Olive Garden worker saves five people from burning home in Camarillo is false. I made up all of these. And I correctly sniffed out two of those three lies.

Yes. So you get to choose next week's restaurant. Okay, so I have won the headline game and we haven't had any seafood places yet. No, we haven't. I'm gonna take you to Bubba Gump shrimp company. We're going to go to the one at the Santa Monica Pier with the little churro vendor guy right outside. Oh, yes. The churros are the best.

Those are my favorite churros. Your favorite churros too. We've talked about this. They're amazing. Yeah. So that will be our next food adventure. Please join us, everybody. Thanks so much for listening to our musical this week.

We are Find Dining Podcast. You can follow us on Instagram, on TikTok at Find Dining Podcast. You can email us anything you want, any questions, any feedback, any compliments, any artwork with googly eyes, artwork with googly eyes, find dining podcast at gmail.com. We want to hear it all. So thanks for joining us. Have a fine day. And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars?

Come on. And don't forget, you can always suggest where we go next. Okay. We're going to find it. See you next week. Hurt my throat a little. Have a fine day.