Fine Dining - Rainforest Cafe, Bob's Big Boy, Waffle House, Pappadeaux, & Chuy's Get Yelped

Episode Date: December 24, 2025

🗣️⭐🍽️ Yelp From Strangers: Rainforest Cafe, Bob's Big Boy, Waffle House, Pappadeaux & Chuy's 🍽️⭐🗣️ VyVy Nguyen (@cest_la_vyvy) is back as we wrap up our two-part Yelp From Strangers special during the final stretch of Bridge Season. This week's batch is truly unhinged. Once again, the food is secondary and the feelings are loud. Also, wtf does "we are bar people" even mean?? 🥩 A Rainforest Cafe Review That Treats the Jungle Steak Like Fine Art 🧠 My Personal Connection to David Lynch Lore at Bob's Big Boy 🪑 A Waffle House Review That References the Flying Chair Incident! 📱 A Chuy's Text Message That Woke a Man from His "Sleep Cycle" 👨‍👩‍👧 A Reviewer Who Seems Actively Mad That Her Own Children Exist 🍤 Pappadeaux Through the Eyes of Someone with Very Specific Expectations 🔥 Turtle from Entourage Writes a Review (from a Terrarium??) 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Which chain do you think has the most chaotic Yelp reviews of all time? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, extended Yelp chaos & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@finediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: VyVy Nguyen | IG: @cest_la_vyvy Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, Aaron Hubbard, Steff, & Robert McLaughlin 👉 NEXT WEEK: Enjoy your holidays! The Bridge Season is officially over, but Season 4 will hit your table January 7th with an episode detailing the history of Dominos Pizza!

Yelp, it's a place where even the best of us indulge in our worst inclinations, while the worst of us are at their best. I love reading Yelp reviews of all kinds, from patrons who are one dropped sprite away from a nude meltdown in a Quiznos bathroom to diners so complimentary of a server that they're clearly their mother. Yelp unites us with one simple truth. None of our opinions make us a professional food reviewer, no matter how many podcast episodes we make about it. Today I make yet another podcast episode, highlighting the truly unhinged things people feel comfortable publishing on the internet. This is fine dining. Happy holidays. And for the last time in 2025, it's time to get a little Yelp from strangers. We need a little Yelp, a little Yelp from strangers. A one star, two star, three star, four, or bye, aye.

So get a little Yelp. Hello, a little y'all. Give us those complaints while you literally watch. Hello and welcome to the Fine Dining Podcast. I'm your host, Michael Ornellis, and today is the conclusion of our bridge season between seasons three and four. It's been an incredible year of visiting chain restaurants. I've gained an appreciation for Taco Bell. I turned a trip to Dunkin' Donuts into a tabletop role-playing game, and I discovered that Chili's was in fact the most mediocre restaurant in America. And my guest today joined me on that fateful night where Chili's earned its stripes. She's a favorite of my Discord community, which you can join by clicking the link in the description of this episode. She's as good of an actor as she is a friend.

And she once told me her greatest fear would be pouring out a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch, but instead it's spiders. And then she looks in the bowl as spiders. And then she drops her spoon, but the spoon is spiders too. It's Vivi Nguyen. Ah, why did you share my deepest fear? It's all of our greatest fear. Also, I don't know. Is that a compliment?

Maybe I'm not, you said I was your enemy last episode. So if we're not good friends, then I'm not a good actor. But he did say we were besties at the end of it. So who's to say? My opinion of your acting is so in flux right now. Mine too. Or at least your knowledge of my opinion. Thanks for coming back.

Thank you. I withheld what I think your actual biggest fear was to make up the one about spiders. Oh, I appreciate that. Yeah. I think your biggest fear is ending up on Wiki feet, right? As I do this fair foot, I'm so tempted to just pop my foot into frame right now. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I have to ask. So today is our part two, Yelp from Strangers, spectacular.

We're going to be focusing on five more restaurants that I did in the early run of the podcast. do you ever feel inclined to write reviews anywhere, whether it's like Yelp, Amazon, anything else? I do on occasion, especially if it was a really, really positive experience. I want to share that with the world. And there are some restaurants that I'm, you know, I'm a local at in my neighborhood. And I just want to share the love. Sure, sure. So I do do reviews for them where I'm just like, people need to know and I want to help support a small business.

And it carries more weight when it's not a chain. Yes, for sure. Yeah. But the things people are willing to say about chains are way, I think they're way more loosey-goosey about it than. Yes. Because they realize the impact they could have on the business of a mom and a pop. Yes. You know those people.

You see their faces. Where like you're not taking down Applebee's. Exactly. You can try. That would be very impressive. If you, one Yelp review took down Applebee's. Yeah. One Yelp review.

Not even one location. Just like the entire company's like we're hanging it up. Yeah. I never write reviews. Really? I think this is a review. This whole podcast is a review. I think just by nature, I never write.

I'm like, I'll talk it. Oh, okay. I'll say my opinions of things. But writing, forget about it. Yeah, like. I mean, you write for this podcast. But then I read it. Yeah, that's true.

Also, you're a good writer. Thank you. Yeah. I just don't like. You just don't like it. It's a labor. I see. I see.

For sure. I always like having written. I don't like writing. Oh, you like? I like being done writing. And I'm proud of like, oh, look what I do. Exactly. Like I said, it's a labor.

And speaking of labor, I laboriously read through so many Yelp reviews. Five restaurants worth of. Yelp reviews. He told me before we record this, he's like, I'm really tired of Yelp. I need a nap. He needs a break. It's okay. It's the holidays now. The holidays. Yeah. So you will get a break. Yeah. And also so much of season four is already shot. So it's like it's going to be a while before I need to actually scour Yelp again for the podcast. Now you're just telling everyone the secrets of how the podcast is made. I'm excited. My first episode is going to be so fun. All right. Do we want to jump into it? Yeah. I call you my friend in an episode. Now you're ready to do it. Great.

All right. Well, we'll start with a one-star review. One-star review. This is a one-star review for Poppado from Camille from Austin, Texas, September 30, 2021. I swear, every freaking time my husband wants to go here, I cringe. He likes to sit at the bar. We are bar people with stars. He says, the reasons I hate this place are, one, food.

Can I just say, I did this. then searched the phrase, we are bar people. And there was another guy who left a review a few years earlier that said, we are bar people. And I'm like, did her husband review this on a separate earlier occasion? Or are there actually bar people? It could be bar people. And that's the phrase things.

We're bar people. Yeah. We put our keys in a bowl at the end of the night. Oh, dang. Well, those are swingers now. The one and the same. To me, bar people, swingers feel similar. It's like a vendy.

Yeah. It's a circle. The reasons I hate this place are. One, food. It's become substandard. Two, the rude bartender. I remember the last time we came, my steak was undercooked. Rude bartender sends only the steak back and left my vegetables on the plate, then brings me

the steak in a to-go container? Question mark? I do you have to ask, did they, like, grab it with their hand? Like, they take only the steak off my plate. What is that, like, mechanical process? That's true. Yeah. Did they do it at the table or did they take the plate back and then? And then bring it back out with the steak missing.

Yeah. What happens back there? Both are crazy moves. I do agree. Fair. I ended up taking home the steak and throwing it out. Oh, no. They didn't even.

Why? I think she seems like she's maybe led by her emotions a little bit. That just seems like such a waste. I know. Never. Don't throw out food that an animal died for. If you want to throw out vegetables, go for it. Eat your steaks.

Vegetables are on a lower tier for you. Nothing died for it. Vegetables are plants. They're living. Oh, wow. Look at his face. Look at his face. That was irredeemable.

Oh, my God. I mean, I'm not saying they're alive on the same level, but they are living. I'm leaving Los Angeles. I mean, this is. I don't even have a problem with Los Angeles, but that sent me. Now we're back to being enemies. Yes. For sure.

Sure. Okay. You ask why I didn't say anything. Well, that is what happens when it's date night, in quotes. You try to be on your best behavior. Oh, so she was trying to be a good person, but she's not actually a good person. Tonight, same rude bartender, same rude service. I think her name is Becky and she's got a big butt. Is this all just like a joke to make a reference to... Sir mix a lot. I don't know, but it does sound like her Anaconda don't want none of Popa. You're going to throw out a whole steak. That's such a shame. Yeah. Just because of the way it was brought out? Yeah. They put in a to-go container and then you, yeah.

Yeah. I don't like it. I don't like it either. She did not like her experience. Rude bartender. She kept referring to. And they're bar people. So they know.

They are bar people. Maybe that's why. They know a thing or two about bartenders. The bar for bar people is very high. The bar bar bar for bar people is high. Yes. Five-star review. This is a five-star review for Rainforest Cafe.

Alexander M. from Lake Elsinore, California, August 29th, 2025. This is another one that I have to read with the gravitas it deserves. I mean, we should all read them with the gravitas they deserve. Well, only some of us are. Well, you give them to me, like, spur of the moment. I don't, I, he diligently searches for these things and knows the whole backstory. He knows what he's getting into. I wouldn't have believed I'd find perfection.

in a children's themed restaurant inside of a mall. I like this voice. But I am now a believer of the unbelievable. I don't know who's in charge of cooking the jungle steak at Rainforest Cafe, but that chef deserves a salary higher than the CEO. Rare, seared perfection like this shouldn't even be possible outside of a culinary dream. Yet here it is. Hidden inside a themed restaurant in the middle of Riverside County.

A cut of meat so divine it deserves billboard stretching from here to Los Angeles declaring there is no other steak. From the very first bite, it was clear this wasn't just a steak. It was the genesis of culinary poetry, tended, juicy, and charred to the exact kiss of fire

that makes you realize what rare was always supposed to mean. Wow. I've had fine dining. Hey, that's the name of the show. He said it. I've had steakhouse signatures, but nothing compares to this primal, wild masterpiece. Halfway through the plate, I wasn't just eating. I was worshiping.

Do you say worshiping? Worshipping. Is that how you say worship? I say worship. You say worship? It sounded like a ship at war. Yeah, I don't know. I mean regional differences, maybe.

Maybe. I don't even hear the difference in what we're doing, which is. I hear war and I do were. Worship? Yeah, no, you don't like that? I don't like that. Interesting, okay. The jungle steak had awakened something feral in me.

By the time I finished, I wasn't thinking of dessert. I was planning my return. Rainforest Cafe may be known for the atmosphere, the animatronics, the jungle sounds. But let me tell you. Let me tell you. The jungle steak. is its secret crown jewel. Eating it feels like the culinary equivalent

of Jurassic Park's first dinosaur review. When science, art, and awe collide into something so staggering, you can't believe it's real. And maybe, just maybe, this chef was so busy trying to see if they could cook a steak of this caliber, they didn't stop to consider if they should.

Wow. Because nothing else matters anymore once you've had it. If you haven't had Rainforest Cafe's Jungle Steak, Your experience with steak has yet to begin. Drag your friends, bring your family, and tell everyone you know. Because once you've tried it, you'll understand there simply is no going anywhere else. Man, this guy should be the head marketer for a rainforest cafe. What an endorsement for a steak at a place where an elephant bleats at you from behind you.

And it's called Jungle Steak. Like, that was a review of a place that does balloon animals. The difference in how sophisticated he made it seem versus what it is. His life is better. And also that Jurassic Park quote, not the reference, but like the, they, you know, spent so much time thinking of whether or not they could. They could. They didn't stop to think if they should. Uh-huh.

Beautiful. So well layered in. And the imagery of, you know, that first image of seeing the dinosaurs. I think that was the perfect five-star review. That was a five-star review. That was a five-star. five-star review. I love that review. Yeah. Who is this person? I want to see more of their reviews. We should just do an episode about their reviews. Honestly, not opposed to it. Discord. Tell us what

you think. Please do. We'll make a Patreon episode. If his other reviews are like that, I would. That was great. That was beauty. And it was positive, too. Although, I wonder what he's like when he's unhappy. Oh, no. Yeah. I wanted to slit my wrists based off how bad the spaghetti was. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I felt about bad spaghetti before.

It just feels like that would be the other side of the coin for him. I've got a balcony that's over concrete. I can end it so quickly. I don't think over this one. If I do head first. I think you'd do some damage. I don't think you'd die. You don't think I would die?

This is the second floor. It's a 20-foot fall on the concrete. I don't think you'd die. Let's find out. Let's go. Bye. Five-star review. This is a five-star review for Waffle House by Mike P from Jarrell, Texas.

Jarrell, Texas. I'm so sorry. I'm not Texan. But the Texan also didn't know. Yep. September 10th, 2023. Chunky skunky, chicken monkey, fried, dried, and satisfied. I hate it.

I hate that kind of writing. Wait, it's kind of Susian. I don't like it. It's too cute. I don't know. I don't know where they're going, but I like the start. Not just the add-ons for the hash browns, but how you'll be when you're done eating. This place is bomb-diggity combining...

You don't like bomb-diggity? I don't like their repertoire of words. Okay. Well, Mike, Mike's trying. He's putting some effort in, I feel like. Yeah. It's engaging. This place is bomb-diggity.

Combining all the elements of true old-fashioned American zeitgeist, whether you're get the All-Star Special or the Cheeseburger Plate, you're sure to be served quickly and by people who want to earn your business. You may or may not see a chair tossing contest here or there, but if you happen to be in the presence of the young lady that engaged in the last contest, she's an Olympic gold medal winner. Remember. I like, so to point out, that clip that went viral a few years ago of the woman catching the chair with one hand that was thrown at her at Waffle House, that was the one I did for the podcast and I did it two weeks. before that clip.

I would have killed to be there when that happened. My God. Yeah. You could have had an accompaniment when that video went viral and just being like, I was there. And like made an episode about it and like talked about it and maybe gotten footage of it from a different angle or whatever. You were just too ahead of your time. Like I just picture a selfie of like I'm eating a waffle and like behind me there's just a chair flying.

She reaches for it. Yeah. Oh, man. Olympic gold medal winner. Remember, it is Waffle House. So anything goes or more importantly, and what you should keep your eye on, comes.

Why is this in parentheses? I don't know. I could not figure out. What is happening? Anything goes or more importantly, comes. Anything goes or comes? Because the chair comes at you.

Oh. I think that's what he was trying to go for. But it was a formatting nightmare at the end. Yeah, that was, they put commas. They offset it with comma. In parentheses. Yeah. Oh, anyway.

Comes. Jiz jokes. Two-star review. All right. This is a two-star review for Chewys, which is a Tex-Mex restaurant. This is from Beep Beep M from San Francisco, California, written June 8th, 2022.

Their name is Beep, Beep? Probably not. But their profile name is. Okay. Well, I mean, my name is V-V. You never know. Beep, beep. I'm leaving a not so good review because someone used the wrong number and I ended up with a text in the middle of my sleep cycle to let me know my table was ready.

I'm nowhere near any place with a Chewies. So either someone messed up the phone number or it possibly was a scam. Either way, I blocked the number. So it's just a review about the text? It's just a review about being woken up from a text. By the way, in the middle of my sleep cycle, not the night. My sleep cycle. So maybe it was a nap.

Because Chewys isn't open crazy late. And it's a central time zone place. And this person's in San Francisco, which is already earlier. So like 10.30 if your table is ready at Chewys, that's 8.30 here. Sleep cycle was the appropriate thing to like justify your stance. But also you gave this place a two-star review. Because of a text. I love that they deemed like, well, this isn't a one-star infraction, but they need to pay.

They won't be up. I mean, put your phone on silent, man. Yeah. They can't. When your name is beep beep, beep, you want your phone to make noise. You want it to beat, beep. Yeah, you want it to beep beep. It's not buzz, buzz.

That's true. It's not silent, silent. Sorry, bad joke. I tried. Four star review. Ooh, this is a four star review from Turtle M. From Entourage. Maybe.

Their actual profile photo is a turtle. I'm pretty sure. the turtle from Entourage was a turtle, was he not? Like, he was just a turtle the entire time? Like Franklin the Turtle? An anthropomorphic turtle. Wow. It's been a while since I've seen that show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I would have watched the show more had I seen the turtle. Yeah. Also, I revisited it recently. I was like, man, this show is quite misogynistic. I knew that at the time. Yeah, I guess. And it was okay to be misogynistic at the time. Yeah, yeah. No, honestly. We just allowed it.

As an actor, I used to see audition, no, this all the time that we're like, we need background for entourage and you need to be super hot, modelesque. And I was always like, yep, I'm not submitting for that. Aw. I did. Yeah? Didn't get it. Anyway, okay, Turtle M. Los Angeles.

June 28th, 2015. Bob's Big Boy is one of the most important place for my student life. I love this place and I can't imagine a life without it. When I'm hungry after a crazy ass. You can't imagine a life? without it. They love this place. That's so intense.

When I'm hungry after a crazy-ass party, feeling drunk and high as fuck, the only place I think of is always Bob's big boy. Also crazy. They really are such a fan of this place. Good food, not awesome, but good. The place is

too crowded sometimes. It keeps you waiting for a long, long time, but it can also be pretty empty sometimes. I love one that happens. Honestly, I do too. Yeah. I love an empty restaurant. But isn't that how restaurants generally are? Sometimes they're busy. Sometimes they're empty. Yeah, if you go at the times where people normally eat, usually they're a little busy. Yeah, waitresses here are nice, and some of them are quite attractive. Like entourage. Yeah, this might be turtle. Price is reasonable except chicken tenders. I always think chicken tenders is too expensive in L.A. grammar. Maybe Bob's can change that.

Movie stars come over sometimes, and the movie huge. Heat was shot here. One scene. Go sit on the seat Robert De Niro was sitting on and make your friend sit on the Val Kilmer seat, then mock him for eating burgers. Why can't you be the one to be mocked? Why do you get your friend to order a burger and they make fun of him? No, you can take the heat. Ooh, nicely done. Thank you. I've been told that there are bugs on their lettuce. By who? Okay, I've never experienced that here, but still, check your food before you put it in your mouth. In fact, check all. things before you put it in your mouth. Not bad advice.

I guess not. I will say the manager ended up responding to that one and basically being like, we wash our lettuce. He was responding to so many and was getting kind of defensive. About bugs and lettuce. About anything. I mean, he was just very much defending and assuring anyone who might be reading. Like this review is not.

But like there was one where they were like, hey, just so you know, you can really damage a business by leaving a review that's maybe not fully true. Like to someone who said they got food poisoning and all they ate that day was Bob's big boy. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And he was like, food poisoning can take 18, 16 hours to set in. It could be from the previous day. You don't know.

Sure. And I was just like, hey, look, sometimes people get food poisoning. That's just a thing that that does have. Like, I expect to hear about food poisoning in every restaurant's yelps. Yeah. At some point. Every single one. So me thinks the manager

Doth protest too much. Me too. Yeah. But also who's telling this person that there's bugs and lettuce? Like is it their friend that experienced it or did they read about it? The general public knows. Yeah.

Bugs and lettuce. I mean, I would be concerned about that. But is it so common that you're hearing about it? Man. That would be a problem. Yes. Three star review. I'm going to do a three star review also for Bob's Big Boy.

This is from David O. from Nashville, Tennessee, written March 7, 2016. Full disclosure, I came here because of David Lynch. My favorite director. I had, I searched David Lynch in the Bob's Big Boy Yelp, and it yielded 42 reviews. Oh, wow. As a longtime fan of Lynch, I'd read that he had lunch here every day for seven years straight. Every day for seven years straight, I could have met the guy.

Yeah, you could. Although I'm pretty sure that was like way back when before I even lived in L. and that he got ideas from the chocolate shakes. That might make me a crazy person, but it was worth it. Interestingly enough, I did learn something about the Big Boy Burger East Coast versus West Coast. Having grown up with Elias Brothers Big Boys, I was expecting the old secret sauce is Thousand Island dressing, but I guess at Bob's, the secret sauce is a mayo relish onion garlic sauce. It caught me by surprise for sure.

Service was fast and food was good. But short of the nostalgia and the chocolate shakes, I don't imagine I'll ever be back. Of course, my non-local status is absolutely a factor here. None of the other cool things were happening when I was here since it wasn't a Friday night. But Bob's will always have a special place in my heart, even if David Lynch didn't walk in the door while I was there. Just so you know, Friday nights is their classic car night. So a bunch of old school cars. It's very busy.

Go hang out outside. This is also 2016, so David Lynch was still alive. So him hoping that he would walk in. I mean, maybe David Lynch's ghost will show up. Maybe. Feels very lynchian. I'm going to go get something real quick. Please hold.

Is this part of the podcast? Yes. Oh, is this in the edit? Are we including this? I will cut once I stand. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Okay, so I mentioned David Lynch, one of my favorite directors. Yes.

Twin Peaks, probably my all-time favorite show. David Lynch passed away at the beginning of 2025. and a memorial rose up for him at the Bob's statue outside of Bob's Big Boy. I went there. I don't think it was like the day it happened, but like within a few days, right? And this was the scene. Wow. And that is me.

Oh my gosh. So on the final issue of the Blue Rose magazine, which is like a fan magazine for David Lynch and Twin Peaks, on the Bob's Big Boy tribute you can literally see Chad Opitz who went to the original pancake house with me when I dressed like Shrek

for the podcast Oh wow my buddy he and Nick Stargue who went to Papa Johns with me on the podcast and I all hanging out together and were captured in this photo that made it onto the back cover

of the magazine That's hysterical can I see even though it is the back of me it is me It definitely is you Yeah How funny So I thought that was really cool

that one, I just happened to be captured for this. Two, they didn't get permission to use my likeness. And I absolutely would have said yes. But and then after his passing, I moved to this new place. I now live with my partner Joyce. And we were looking for like, oh, what do we want to watch? I really wanted to show her Twin Peaks. So we watched through all of Twin Peaks.

and the night that we did the final two episodes, we watched one, and then it was like 10.30 at night. And we were going to start the next episode. And I was like, wait, we should go to Bob's in between. So we actually drove down to Bob's. I got a coffee and a chocolate milkshake and fries, I think. I'm not a coffee drinker,

but I was like, for David Lynch, I got to drink a cup of coffee because he loved coffee. And it was a very like, religious experience for me to like do that and then come back and like finish the show. Did Joyce feel the same? I think she liked it. Yeah. Okay.

All right. I definitely liked the show more than she did. But you don't break up with her. She's like, I hated it. Bye. Oh, if she hated the show? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would just be sad.

Okay, okay. I'm going to end a relationship. I know. She's great. I love her. Love you, Joyce. Damn. I was just kidding.

What's the bar for you to break up? with somebody. I mean, I love Lord of the Rings so much. And I think if my partner didn't love Lord of the Rings. Do you really think that would be a deal breaker? It might. Wow. Because I like to do a rewatch around December because that's when the movies came out. Have you done one this year? I'm about to. I think I have them on 4K if you want to. Oh, that's what we're doing after. Let's go. But yeah, I just I just work. I don't mind if you haven't seen it. That's fine. But you have to love it. No, no. You don't have to love it. It's just if you hate it. I found out recently one of my friends.

I hated the Hobbit movies. No, that's, yeah, that was a travesty. But I found out one of my friends hates Lord of the Rings movies. Partially, just because he thought New Zealand was a good location years ago to film Blur the Rings when he was a kid. And he was like, oh, they took my idea. An insane take. A little bit.

But yeah, he also has issues with just some of the adaptation aspects. And I was like, yes, yes, it's not going to be a perfect adaptation, but it's pretty damn good. Anyway, I think of him differently now. Also, one of the best uses of film score ever. I think Lord of the Rings might be like the pinnacle of scoring movie. Such a good score. Anyways, let me know in the comments what fandom you would break up with somebody with if they didn't like. I want to hear that or tell me in Discord.

Either way. One star review. Okay, we have a one star review for Rainforest Cafe from Eric R. Anaheim, California, where I'm from, September 17th. My mom's birthday. So many connections. 2006. A year I lived.

I lived then too. What? I always try to give a few chances before I stick it to a restaurant. Rainforest Cafe just expended their last. Wow. Shots fired. Frankly, the service is sketchy. Even good service here is not exactly great.

You know what? There are restaurants that I feel that way about where it's like, Even on a good day, it's not, you know. Yeah. But sometimes you forgive it because. Well, I mean, also, service is just like, you gave me food. Great. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. I didn't need you to be my best friend. Yeah. The food is okay. The pizza was greasy and sparsely laden. The salads were all right, but really weren't anything to write home about. And through most of the dining experience, I was trying to find a server to get a refill in my drink.

Hey, I kind of like the tourist trap atmosphere. But after a while, it gets old, especially when the animatronic ape, has just terrified the kid at the next table, and he's screaming with horror while you're trying to talk to your friends. An unfortunate, one-fingered salute. Wow, he's flipping off the restaurant as he walks away. Yeah.

That's... I do find that funny, though, like, a kid was traumatized by an ape. Kind of what'd you expect. Yeah. You did go to Rainforest Cafe. You know it's going to be filled with kids. And anatronics. So, like, this seems like the expectations

weren't managed well for him. One star is. is also a little harsh. Like, I feel like he said everything was fine. Like, the service was fine. It was sparsely laden. You just incorporate that into your vocabulary. So sparsely laden.

S.L. Sparsely laden is going to be used so much. Sparsely laden does not roll off the tongue super easily. No. Yeah, so SL. So SL. Dumb. Two star, star,

Thank you. All right. This is a two-star review for Waffle House. This is from Ianosa O from New Brunswick, New Jersey, written July 25th, 2019. The ergonomics of this place is fucking horrible, L.O.L. They wash dishes right in front of you where you eat, so you do the math. That's it. Oh.

I don't know how that's the ergonomics. Yeah, I was going to say, like, was there a chair not satisfactory? Yeah. No, it's just. You're sitting at a bar and they wash dishes in front of you. So it's like, I guess the splatter is going to get everywhere. I mean, I don't even think that's the case. Yeah.

It's a weak argument. Yeah. What about the food? Did you like your food? Yeah. Was it densely laden? Or sparsely laden? We got to know.

Hmm. Um, no, I, I don't know. I might be a bit of a hygiene freak in like a, I'm kind of too, you. easy to, like, I give too many things a pass. Wait, well, how does that make you a freak? Like, if you drop something on the floor, sure, I'm not going to eat it. But if you're washing dishes, if you're not using gloves, there's like certain things. Like Pizza Hut?

Yeah, I'm not that mad at it. Okay. I guess. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, like, sure, I'd prefer that you did those things. Of course. I'm not like, give me, give me the grime, you know.

Give me your germs. Give me your germs. But, like, I'm not a freak about it. I don't assume everything is as dirty as some people assume it is. Floors, yes. Yes, we don't want anything touching the floor. That's gross. But like, yeah, I don't know.

I guess I just give some things a pass and I don't know if I'm... How often are you getting food poisoning? Like never. Okay, so then, yeah, it sounds like you're good. Yeah. Like, for someone who has gut issues, I do have an iron stomach. Maybe you don't have Crohn's. It's actually just perpetual food poisoning.

No, it's not. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I was trying to make a joke. I'm sorry. At my expense. No, not really. No, but it's weird because like the things I eat rarely affect me in terms of like stomach issues or anything like that. That's nice.

That's nice. But like, sure, I'll eat something that you handed me with like your bare hand or whatever. If you just wiped your nose or something, I won't. But like. What if I picked my note? No, that's worse. And just hand it to me and I eat it off your fingee. Eat my booger.

For a certain amount of money, someone would. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't. WikiBugger. WikiBugger? I don't know. We're just making a collage of like celebrities that have picked their nose and like we've seen their boogies. I don't like that.

I don't either. It's gross. And also I'd rather call it boogiepedia. Oh. Yeah, I thought of it on the fly. I'm sorry. And I workshopped it. You did.

Yeah, yeah, there we go. This is a three-star review for Chewys from Dan A. Minneapolis, Minnesota, August 24, 2014. Safe bet. If you are eating out with your 92-year-old father-in-law, then safe bet is a good bet. First date, meeting the parents, out with the boss. Again, a safe bet can be a good bet. Personally, I am normally not that risk averse. A risk adverse. I do love this notion, though, of like, it's safe. Look, normally, I'm not. I'll take risks, but I've been burned. I've eaten with my 92-year-old father-in-law and it didn't go so well before. Yeah, I want to know their backstory. Does he like him?

Do they get along? If you are feeling even a bit adventurous, then a safe bet that is neither a bargain nor extremely convenient just isn't worth the bet. He's using the word of bet. You're really committed to this bet thing. He really is. We can let it go. He's going to say one more time.

I have a theme. I have to stick with the best. We need to keep saying bet. And then I go all in Or you fold. Oh, he should have done that. Yeah. And then on the river I ordered

Koso or so. Okay. It is a chain, but a decent chain. Popular place. There may be a long wait. It may not be worth extending your time investment. Yeah.

Okay. It's a safe bet. I picked this one because of the bet thing. Oh, yeah. I'm just like he really, really doubled down. guess a safe bet three stars seems appropriate. Yeah. Honestly, that is that is what I assume three stars is. Mm-hmm. Safe bet. Bet, bet. Oh, it's not what the kids say now. They say bet. Yeah. Yeah. Four star review. This is a four-star review for Papa Doe from Sonia F from Belton, Texas, July 22nd, 2017. We live at least an hour away. So we drove and the wait to get a table wasn't long, but we arrived.

at 4 p.m. Here is a tip. Lunge ends at 3 p.m. So we should have left at 2 p.m. We brought the whole gang, our teenage daughters and two-year-old twins. We should have come by ourselves. Oh, no. Oh, man. They have a live band playing outside. It's kid-friendly, but would have been better by ourselves and cheaper. My food was good, but my husband didn't like it as much this time. She sounds like she just hates her kids. Yeah. We should have just gone by.

They ruined it. Yeah. I will say Papa Doe does seem like a nice enough place that, yeah, kids probably aren't going to appreciate it. So I do get the notion, but I do just love twice in the review being like, we should have come by ourselves. It would have been cheaper. We would have enjoyed it more.

Like, that's the actual verbatim word choice that she used. Yeah, I noticed. We would have enjoyed ourselves. more. Someone's a little upset. But she has twins. Twins are a handful. That's two handfuls. Yeah. Yeah. So I think she's feeling that right now. It was two years

ago they were born. And at this point 10 years ago. Terrible twos times two. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, I did like They're 10 now. I'm not talking about now. They might be great now at the time when she went to the restaurant. I'm just saying time passes and people

grow up. That's a thing. Yes. Thank you. That's how aging works. We're doing it. Bet. And that's it. For this week's Yelp from Strangers. Veevee, once again, thanks so much for coming on.

It was a delight. This was our little Christmas Eve special. Ho, ho. And if you like these Yelp from Strangers specials, I still do have a few more restaurants that I haven't covered yet. And I want to cover that one guy who did the five star. We need to do a deep dive. Yeah.

Unless that was his one and only review. I'll check. But yeah, let me know if you liked this episode format and if you want more of these because I have enough to do a few more in the future. I am a little yelped out right now. Yeah. I had to read through so many. Anyways. I mean, you didn't have to.

You did it for the podcast. I did it for the people. Out of the love of your listeners. For the love of the game. the fast food and chain restaurant, casual dining game. That old game. Yeah.

Veevie, tell people where they can find you on WikiFeed. Oh. On social media. WikiPit backslash Vivi Nguyen. No, my Instagram. But her feet are spiders.

Actually, I like spiders, though, to be honest. And I really like jumping spiders. Oh. They're so cute. What makes it? Have you seen them? They're, their arrangement of their eyes makes them just look very adorable. It's supposed to sometimes there's like eyes all over the place, but they're kind of

more of the front. And they're just very cute. Have you seen that video? It's like, um, I don't watch a lot of spider videos. Oh, okay. There's just a very cute CGI spider someone's created and it has a little like kid voice and someone and that that one's modeled after a jumping spider. You know what? Some people think is ugly or scary that I find very cute. Bats. Fruit bats. You think they're cute. You think they're cute. Fruit bats eating watermelon. Yeah. It's maybe the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. tawas with wings. Yeah. They're sky puppies.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I like bats. With like rubber wings. There are scary looking bats, though. Yeah. The ones with like the crazy noses and stuff. With like the Michael Jackson nose.

Post surgery. Aw. Post surgery. Oh. I don't know how to describe it. But they do look crazy. Pointy. No, there's like crazy ones that look like flowers for faces.

Yeah. Anyway, we don't need to talk about bats anymore. I'm on Instagram. I forgot the question. I want Instagram at Sayla VeeVee, C-E-S-T underscore L-A-U-Y-V-Y. Amazing. And I am at Fine Dining Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. Come join my Discord, chat with me.

Tell me what you thought of this episode format. Post your own Yelp reviews that you find that you come across that are like wild and crazy. And you're like, what is this person talking about? And then I have a Patreon. If you want to support the show, I do an exclusive episode every month, this month on New Year's Eve. I'll be dropping an episode covering Taco Cabama. Taco Cabana, technically, if you want to pronounce it correctly. But I say Cabana because that's my lot in life.

But they're a fast casual chain in Texas and New Mexico that I grew up really liking. They're the first place I ever had a breakfast burrito. Oh. Did you like it then? Yeah. I was like, oh, it's like a breakfast taco, but bigger. In Texas, they do breakfast tacos over burritos, typically. Oh, they prefer it?

L.A. is a very breakfast burrito city. Yeah. It's just a little more easier to eat. Yeah. But you get more variety in tacos. You can get like a bacon and potato and egg one. You get a brisket an egg one. Oh, and I'm really hungry.

Sausage and egg. Go to home state. I love hungry. I think they're fine. All right. Sorry. Well, that's another one in the books. Thank you all for watching.

Happy holidays. Have some fun times with your loved ones or whoever. Or whoever. Or dogs. Spend it with your dogs With your fruit bats With your jumping spiders You know whatever

Anyways I will see you in a few weeks For the premiere of season four Where I will be reviewing Domino's Pizza Oh man Yeah that'll be a fun one I will see you all next time

Thanks for listening You won't see me For Ever You're done No if I do another Yelp special Yeah I think you've got to be my go-to

Oh, cool. I'm happy too. I love them. All right. See you next week. Have a. Oh, no. Okay.

Sorry. You never miss it. I know. You were praising me for doing it so well the last episode. I wasn't ready. I'm so sorry. I'm turning red. Have a fine day.

Sorry. Wamp, Wong. It's up to the cooks and while we may have gotten a couple of dirty looks Though the journey can never stop that from the bottom down to the top We got things on lock And that's because chillies to the main course We'll find the charge gets the week and next to week baby

Day