Fine Dining - Season 4 Premiere!! Domino's Pizza: Hostages, Food Tampering, and Turning It All Around

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

🍕📦🚗 Domino's Pizza: Hostages, Food Tampering, and Turning It All Around 🚗📦🍕 Season 4 (omg, what??) kicks off with a deep dive into the wild, complicated, and occasionally Noidy history of Domino's Pizza. Joined by improviser and musician James Werner (@jamesyjoehenry), I trace how a tiny Michigan pizzeria turned into the world's largest pizza chain by making bold promises, bad mistakes, smarter apologies, and some genuinely fascinating tech gambles. This is a story about shame, sincerity, and why sometimes admitting "our pizza sucks" is the smartest move a company can make. 🍕 Two Brothers, $500, and a Volkswagen Beetle That Changed Pizza History ⏱️ The 30-Minute Delivery Promise That Built the Brand (and Nearly Broke It) 😈 The Noid, a Nintendo Game, and One of the Strangest Ad Campaign Aftermaths Ever 📉 "Our Pizza Sucks": The 2010 Recipe Overhaul That Saved Domino's 📱 Domino's Becomes an E-Commerce Company That Happens to Sell Pizza 🕳️ Paving Over Potholes Because "Bad Roads Shouldn't Happen to Good Pizza" 🧠 The Pizza Tracker Is Mostly Fake and That's Kind of the Point 🎅 James Pitches His Dream Restaurant: Santa's Kitchen, Serving What Santa Eats ⭐ Yelp From Strangers Includes a Reviewer Furious About a Tip Request on Mother's Day 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Did the Domino's recipe change actually win you back? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, extended Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/@thefinediningpodcast 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: James Werner | IG: @jamesyjoehenry Patreon Producers: Sue Ornelas & Joyce Van Patreon Subscribers: David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers: Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, Aaron Hubbard, Steff, Robert McLaughlin, & Jewell Hermann 👉 NEXT WEEK: We put Domino's to the Chili's Test with a full review (and we actually found a Domino's that had tables for dine-in)!!

Is Domino's Pizza the most resilient fast food brand in the world? Domino's is a chain that has survived a hostage situation, a food tampering scandal, and even an ad campaign whose sole function was to acknowledge that their pizza sucks. If I gave myself an equally honest look in the mirror, I'd be in the fetal position on the floor of my shower while that song from Barbie loops on repeat. And while Domino's has been significant to my past, their eyes have always been to the future, as Domino's consistently proves to be on the cutting edge of pizza technology

from delivery drones and their pizza tracker to the ability to order pizza by texting them a certain emoji. No, it's not the eggplant. No, it's not the peach. Please stop texting Domino's water droplets. You're not their type. This week, on the show, I'll noid my knowledge directly into your cardboard box of curiosity

so that you two may know everything I've learned about Domino's pizza. Then, we'll direct our attention to the people of Yelp, to see what they're saying about the very dominoes we just ate at. Stay tuned. This is the fine dining podcast. Your table's ready. Take your seat. The flavor of the day is mediocrity.

Wouldn't you like to try a vibe? Guarantee it'll be the perfect vibe. I'm going to be honest, the first thing that really struck me was the fact that you said that they're resilient. They've been through a lot. Their reputation has kind of been dragged through the mud at times. A lot of people. don't have nice things to say about dominoes, but they're my family.

You know, I stand up for my family. Yeah. So I didn't know that it was a place that people hated on so much. I thought it was, I didn't know it was like an Audi versus BMW sort of situation. Yeah. I do think that they have largely turned around public reputation in a lot of ways.

But, yeah, they used to be dunked on fairly regularly. Holy moly. Yeah. Hello and welcome to the fine dining podcast. the quest to compare all restaurants to Chili's. I'm your host, Michael Ornellis, and in this podcast, we learned the history of our favorite restaurant chains one week before seeing how they compare

to Chili's in week two. This week on the show, I'll be going through the history of the Domino's brand, which is one of the big four pizza delivery chains in the U.S. And joining me to discuss it is an actor, improviser at U.S. President's Brigade Theater, an incredibly talented musician, and if you ever stare into his eyes, you'll get so lost that not even Google Maps can save you. It's James Werner. Yay. Wow, what a wonderful introduction.

Yeah. I have to say, I feel the same about your eyes. Thank you so much. Oh, God. GPS, save me. We got to get back to the show. But welcome. Thanks for coming with me, to Domino's.

I'm honored to be here. What a lovely experience that was. It was very nice. Do you have your own certain history with Domino's? Can I ask about that? I do. And I'm glad you asked. Because I have a deep and long history with Domino's.

Yeah. This was deep and long. What are you texting them the eggplant emoji? I will be now. Yeah. I will be now. And peaches and water drop-liff. It's just the pizza.

Just send them a pizza. Okay. I might add a couple more. I might add a couple toppings to that pizza, like the tongue emoji. Like the screwdriver emoji. No, I would order Dominoes all the time in college. Can I shout people out on here? I love shouting people.

They're all listeners. Okay, yeah, that's what I'm saying. I love shouting. I might shout out a lot of people. So I'm going to shout out Zamir. Great. Josh, Dane, Sachi, Mojohn, Elijah. Eliza.

Eliza, Eliza, Lulu. And Simone, okay, these are the people who I would order Domino's with. I'm going to say with each one you named, I felt mounting pressure that you're going to leave one person out. I feel it. I know I did, in fact. That's why I kept going and I choked up on Eliza's name and that's already something. Okay, so like you had that Oscars acceptance speech level pressure right there. I did.

I did. You asked, hey, which restaurant you want to do and Domino's, it had to be. for this reason. Yeah. So we would, at Vassar College, there was a Domino's in town, right? And we would order from it all the time.

I would order from it all the time. Yeah. Like to the point where people were like, I don't even know if I want a pizza. And I'd be like, I'm going to get it. I got you. I got you.

I got us. I got it. Yeah. And I would even do it without people knowing sometimes, like as a surprise for my friends. And because I had a pizza profile. which is that sounds like you have to knock on doors and tell people you live in their neighborhood maybe let's phrase it differently that's domino's terminology uh-huh the pizza profile you're just a big red dot on a map

do not deliver this person pizzas they get too many truly and eliza eliza has had it up to here we're going to change her name to that after this podcast um yeah we would eat so much of it and like I totally was got by that marketing of like you get six or seven and then you get a free pizza. Yeah. And it's that thing where I was like, I would be like, we're so close to getting a free pizza. And my friends would be like, well, we have to buy the pizzas to get to the free pizza. I, yeah, it's like those first three you have, those are like, those are you're doing the work. Once you see you have four pizzas and you're four six of the way, you're like, well, I guess I'm just going to order a couple pizzas over the next week.

And then before you know it, you're like, yeah, free pizza. And you're like, now I'm back to zero. Yeah, it's brilliant. It's, six is like the perfect amount to trap you. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's, it's just, it's just too many that you would actually get that, that many pizzas. But it's still enough that you feel like you can get there.

It's also crazy that it's order six times, not get six pizzas. You could order three pizzas in one sitting. It only counts for one. Yes. Yeah. Really smart. I didn't even think of that. Brand loyalty.

They're making you have it. Yeah. And, and, And I became a pretty staunch supporter of Domino's. There was no question that we were ordering from there. Yeah. This fueled a lot of nights of Nintendo Land. That's the thing.

The video game, a lot of Mario Kart, a lot of Super Smash Brothers. Can I ask your age? 27. Okay. So I'm 10 years older than you. Did you grow up with Blockbuster? Yes. Much.

Tail end. Yes. So for me, my experience growing up with Domino's was Friday nights. the end of the school week, right? Go to Blockbuster, order a Domino's. That was for years. That was like my Friday nights. And I just, I have nothing but joy in my, in my memories of Domino's.

Like that was my one for me. You know, I wonder, I think maybe that we're not alone in this. Yeah. I think that there's some other folks who have that experience with Domino's. But you say that it's one of the top four. Yeah, it's one of the big four. It's Papa John's Pizza Hut, Dominoes, and Little Caesars in no particular order. Yes.

Yeah. So I'm assuming that based on where you grew up, who you're friends with. Which one of those you like. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they must have a lot of people must have a lot of memories with those big four. For sure. Well, that's my history and your history with Dominoes.

Do you want to hear the history of Dominoes? I would love nothing more. All right. We're going to jump into this week's eat deets. Eatery details. Dominoes began. when brothers Tom and James Monaghan bought a small pizzeria called Dominix in Ipsilante, Michigan in 1960 for $500. James soon traded his half of the business to Tom for a used Volkswagen Beetle, which was the delivery car.

Can you imagine if Domino's had fleets of Volkswagen Beatles as their delivery cars? Honestly, that is like the type of thing that like a local pizza chain would do. I think of Big Mamas and Papa's Pizzeria in Southern California. I don't know it. They have several locations. There's one down the street here in North Hollywood. There was one down the street when I lived in Burbank. But they specialize in huge pizzas.

Like it's like a 72 inch pizza or something. It's like a big mama and papa sized pizza. Yeah. Yeah. And they have a delivery car that has a specific rack on top that is like fitted for the box for that pizza. And so their car is recognizable because of that pizza box rack. That's awesome. Yeah.

Yeah, I would love to be seeing that type of, but I'm imagining, you want to see that rack? You want to see that rack, James? I want to see that rack. Yeah. I mean, can you look into America and tell them? I want to see that rack. Great.

No context. Hold on. Let me get the mic lower just to make sure. I want to see that rack. Great. All right, cool. Great. We got it.

Yeah. One take James. Show them both. So both. it takes. Tom Monaghan renamed the store Domino's in 1965 after the original owner of Dominics objected to them using the name, and the new logos three dots represents the first three stores. By 1978, Domino's had expanded to 200 locations, with Monaghan franchising aggressively, reaching over 5,000 stores by the 2000s. After 38 years at the helm, Monaghan sold 93% of the company

to Bain Capital in 1998 for nearly $1 billion. And today, Domino's has over 21,000 stores worldwide operating in 90-plus countries. Holy moly. Yeah. I've said that before on this podcast. I think I'm going to say it again. Holy moly. Holy moly.

Yeah. There's a lot of stuff. You're a renowned multi-time guests. I, you know, I love it here, man. Yeah. Thanks for having me back. Yeah. I got to say, the symbolism in the,

in the domino's Pips. The three dots. Yeah. Yeah. I never thought it was like a Chicago flag situation. Right. Where it's like each star symbolizes. Shout out.

Shout out. Shout out to Chicago, truly. I was born there. I didn't know that. I love Chicago. It's one of my favorite cities. Me too. And that's why this bad boy is so high up.

I didn't see that. Portillo's with an 8.4 on the Chachee of Mediac. 8.0. But yeah. I love that. I love Portillo's. I lived there for like seven months at Portillo's and then you moved into the studio. I've had some pretty cool houses.

You're just a leech. Yep. I live there, Portillo's for seven months. Such a specific amount of time. They just got rid of you by spraying celery salt on the ground. Yeah. They led me out with the trail. They tricked me.

That's awesome. And there's so much. There's holy moly amounts of stuff. Yeah. And also the fact that they've grown to over 90 countries is one of the most, like, Domino's in 90 plus countries is one of the most successful restaurant brands worldwide. That is like almost, well, that's McDonald's is like in 200 countries or something. But like you're in that conversation.

Totally. You're in the conversation of like, like in the same way that like people talk about basketball. like, oh, this basketball player, like, they're in the conversation for being, like, LeBron James level. Like Michael Jordan. He's in the conversation. Yeah, exactly. There you go.

In the 1980s, Domino's built its name on a risky promise. Your pizza would be delivered within 30 minutes of ordering or it was free. This speedy guarantee delighted customers and set Domino's apart in the delivery wars. However, it also led to controversy. Accidents occurred as drivers rushed to beat the clock. After a Domino's driver tragically struck and killed a woman, the company was hit with a $2.8 million lawsuit in 1992. Domino's had actually toned down the deal to $3 off if it's late in 1987, but in 1993, it dropped the 30-minute guarantee entirely in the U.S. due to safety concerns. Wow.

So much controversy. I'm beginning to understand where some of the resiliency element. Yeah. And I didn't. Were they the pioneers of this 30 minutes? I can't imagine they were. To me, that seems like a thing that like a local place is doing. And they were like, oh, we noticed that.

We'll do it too. Do it on a bigger scale. On the bigger scale as we're growing. But like, yeah, I remember that being such a, that was a plot device. I feel in a lot of like 90s movies was like you hearing about like, oh, this slacker character is a pizza delivery driver and like beat one of their like life sucking is they didn't deliver the pizza in their. It's also like it's a clock. Like people always talk about like, oh, at a clock in your story

to like, you know, heighten the stakes. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if it doesn't get there in 30 minutes, you know. Yeah. And I think there was a movie that was like called 30 minutes or less. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. With like Chance the rapper or something like that. Was that a Zon sorry or something?

I don't, I think, yeah, it was like a comedy. Yeah. For like, I mean, this could all be wrong. It's like none of these people were in it. And I feel like it was maybe for A-20, I think Buster Keaton was in it. Buster Keaton, Chance the rapper Aziz Ansari, a pizza movie. Yeah, Zendaya.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a big thing. She was very young then. Yeah, yeah. Like, right? Yeah, 14-year-old Zendaya. Yeah, yeah. I think you had a cameo in it.

Didn't you? I had a couple. It was a weird choice to, like, give me a runner. I was a different character every time. It was like a Norbit-style cameo. It was like you were like different characters, but just cameos, not me. Yeah. Which, like, you can't really do like,

fat suits in 2025. True. But in 2008. Everyone. I don't know when that movie came out. All over the place. 2013? Yeah, I feel like maybe later.

Yeah. Anyways. But yeah, I do think that the 30-minute guarantee sounds crazy nowadays. Well, I mean, I just didn't even think about all the hazards. Yeah. But of course, people, I mean, their jobs depend on it. Yeah. They're going to, of course, they're going to rush around the same.

city. And could you, and it's free. And let me tell you this, when one person orders a pizza, they're thinking about their 30 minutes, right? Of course. You order one pizza and you're like, wow, 30 minutes just for me. That guy's a delivery driver all day. He has a bunch of 30 minute clocks constantly. That's crazy. It's got to be stressful. That's great. When you think about it on the surface, you're like 30 minutes or less. Oh, that's cool. And then when you think about it, like critically like we are. You're like, that's insane. That's inhumane.

It's Amazon drivers peeing in bottles. Yep. That is, that was the precursor. Yeah. In the late 1980s, Domino's advertising featured an animated antagonist called the Noid, a manic claymation character hell bent on ruining pizzas with the catchphrase, avoid the noid. The campaign was memorable, even spawning a Nintendo game, Yo Noid, but it took a dark twist

in 1989. A man named Kenneth Noid, believing the ads were mocking him personally, held two Domino's employees hostage at gunpoint. The standoff ended after five hours when the suspects surrendered after the hostages ran out while Noid put the gun in his lap to eat Domino's pizzas. He ordered them to make him. His demands included $100,000, a white limousine as a getaway vehicle, and for Tom Monaghan to be brought to him. He also offered to exchange a hostage for a copy of American Post. Postmodern author Robert Anton Wilson's 1985 novel The Widows Son,

but he reneged on his offer when an officer actually brought him the book. Domino's has maintained that the Noid mascot's retirement wasn't caused by the incident, but the timing led to lasting lore. The Noid has been brought back for nostalgic ads a few times since then.

Wow, you know what I'm going to say. What are you going to say? Holy moly. Holy moly. There's just so much here. I mean, I love that they, brought him the book and he was like, you know what, that, I don't, I changed my mind. I thought this would be a hard find.

You think that's why? He was like, I thought it was going to be harder. I thought you were going to have to order this on discogs or something. That's really funny. I mean, I, I've heard of the Noid character. Yeah. I've heard of the video game. Yeah.

And to be honest, the reason I know it is because of the Tyler of the Creator song that came out. I think last year, or maybe earlier this year. And I remember thinking, oh my gosh, like, this is that video game. And I didn't even remember that. I knew it was a fast food mascot, but I didn't even remember that it was dominant. Yeah. And it's, it's, I didn't, I certainly didn't know the lore of the name. Yeah.

I also think that's crazy to like see an ad and be like, they're making fun of me. Yeah. If they don't know of your aware, like they don't, they don't. not aware of your existence. How are they making fun of you? I mean, this guy. Main character syndrome. Yeah.

He's clearly suffering from main character syndrome. I mean, and I want to see that movie. I want to see the movie where he's the main character. Unfortunately, I know how it ends. Yeah. Yeah. In 2009, the company faced a viral crisis when employees at a North Carolina dominoes filmed themselves contaminating food, sticking cheese up their nose, etc.

And posted it to YouTube. Millions watched the disgusting prank. video, forcing Domino's into damage control mode. The employees were quickly fired and even charged with felonies for food tampering. Dominoes apologized and responded via social media an early example of online crisis management. Wow. This is the contemporary issues. Do you remember this one?

I don't remember this. Okay. Like this was, I mean, what did I say? 2009 or something? Yeah, 2008 or something like that. Early YouTube. I remember like there's just a video. They're like spitting on the pizza and they're like, this is going to go out for delivery.

And like, you know, it's... Oh, I do remember this. Yeah, yeah. I do remember this. Yeah. It was gross. Yeah. Like, yeah.

I wonder even if that's why they ended up doing some of the stuff that they do with the pizza tracker, where they're like, it's in the oven. It's in the oven. The employee is spitting on your food now. That would be hilarious. The cheese is marinating right now. That would be really funny if they had a sense of humor. And we're like... They're kids.

They're kissing it right now just for like a little peck of pride. What are these extra steps in here after it's being tossed and it's in the oven? Does that say coddling? They're coddling it? They're tucking it in? That's kind of sweet. It is. Yeah.

They're holding its hair while it throws up after a long night out. Yeah. I want to know my pizza makers are caring about my pizza like that. And I want to know that my pizzas live to life. Yeah. But yeah, disgusting. Gross. I don't.

I do, I don't know. I have this weird, maybe crazy take on food hygiene in that like, turn a blind eye. I assume, like, I'm sure I've eaten food that had spit in it at some point. There's something in there. Just statistically you've got to. There's hair. Especially someone who's like, you know, if someone puts cheese on a burger, I'm going to be like, I'm so sorry. I'm not going to be rude about it, but like, I'm so sorry.

Can you take it off? Could I get another burger that doesn't have cheese on it, right? Mm-hmm. Michael doesn't like cheese. They know. Oh, they know. They know. Okay.

I bleeped it for a whole season. The word cheese was bleeped in season two of the podcast. But, you know, it's just something where it's like, yeah, it's going to happen. The odds of you just getting sick from somebody. Like, it's gross. Yeah. It's gross. But like, I don't know.

Even if like someone did something to my food and I ate it or whatever. Yeah, it's gross to know. But also the odds of that being my pizza are just so astronaut. economically low that like seeing that from dominoes i'm not going to switch to papa johns no i'm going to be a papa johns guy now no that's not happening you're going to ruin your streak of pizzas getting to a free pizza yeah because if you order from a different company it actually resets to zero it like checks your phone for what other reward apps you have installed it's loyalty yeah it's loyalty as well you actually have to cut your hand to download the app yeah there's like a ritual yeah with dominoes yeah yeah

The three pips, you have to worship the store, the lore. You have to do some sort of. Tom Monaghan, Dominic. Yeah. And the Volkswagen Beatle. In the back of a Volkswagen, you have to do the, yeah, the ceremony. The Holy Trinity of Domino. Yeah.

And the Holy Ghost. And the Holy Ghost. That came up today. We'll talk about it. That came up a lot today. I'm trying to convert chains. Yeah. It worked.

By the late 2000s, Domino's had a new challenge. People outright hated the taste of its people. Not me. In 2009, consumer surveys ranked Domino's pizza lowest in flavor tied with chucky cheeses, and the brand's reputation was hurting. The wake-up call came with a bold strategy in 2010. Domino's aired ads, bluntly admitting, our pizza sucks, and announced a completely new recipe reformulating the crust, sauce, and cheese from the ground up.

CEO Patrick Doyle led this unprecedented Miacolpa dubbed the pizza turnaround, documenting how Domino's listened to criticism and improved the price. The gamble worked. Customers came back to give the new pizza a try, and Domino's earned praise for its honesty. Comedian Stephen Colbert even taste tested the revamped pizza on TV, joking, is that pizza or did an angel just give birth in my mouth? Gross. The turnaround sparked double-digit sales growth and Domino's stock soared through the 2010s, making the company a fast food comeback story. I love that you added your little commentary. Stephen Colbert, too far. That's gross. birth in your mouth? Yeah, that's, he definitely turned the not the dial up for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It must have been, must have been paid. Must have been paid for. I don't think he's just going out there.

Yeah, a guy who lives in New York City is out here being like dominoes is the best pizza. He's not going on live TV doing that for free. Not for free. Yeah. I also didn't know he lived in New York. So that's cool to know. Well, the late show is in New York. I didn't even know. Maybe he lives here and commutes across the country every day. He has his dominoes in the morning, gets on the plane, goes to New York. That is so cool. I love it when people do this, like, sort of like self-aware. It goes so far. It works with servers for me.

Like, hey, I know that the service has been slow or, you know, whatever. Just acknowledge the truth of what we're experiencing. Yeah. And, yeah. That can give, I'm glad that you mentioned that. I mean, we didn't have that today, but we didn't need it. We didn't need like a self-aware server. Right.

But that would improve my rating potentially. Yeah. If someone was like sort of honest. I mean, like, you know, I appreciate that like seeing people on stage too. Just like that didn't, that didn't land. Yeah. You know, you don't have to like say it with your words on stage. Sometimes you can just do like a little whatever.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, you know, there's something that's like endearing about that. Like, hey, I'm present and I experienced what you all just did too. Yeah. And that's what Domino's did. Yeah. On TV. They were like, our pizza sucks.

We get it. But they did it like not that long after the food tampering incident. So it's like, why not just full on be like, hey, we hit a low, you know. Admit it. Yeah. Patrick Doyle. I love that you say, say his name, Patrick Doyle. I am Patrick Doyle.

We are all Patrick Doyle. We are Patrick Doyle. In the 2010s, Domino's pivoted to calling itself an e-commerce company that happens to sell pizza, betting big on technology to drive growth. It was an early mover in online. ordering, rolling out the Domino's Pizza Tracker and online ordering website in 2008 to let customers watch their pizza's progress on screen. Domino's then introduced a slew of any platform ordering conveniences. You could order by smartphone app via text or tweet just by sending a

pizza emoji through smart speaker voice assistance or even from your smart TV. The tech-centric approach paid off by 2019. Over half of all Domino's orders worldwide came through digital channels rather than phone calls. Domino's also experimented with futuristic delivery ideas from GPS driver tracking and pizza delivery drones to a custom-built delivery expert car with an oven and partnership trials with self-driving robots. Embracing tech helped Domino's overtake its rival to become the number one pizza seller globally. That's right. Yeah. Patrick Doyle. That's right. Patrick Doyle. I don't even know if he's still the CEO, but he, he, he, what came from his, what evolved from from his what was birth in his mouth.

Yes. We became the angels of tomorrow. Yes. That the oven in the back of the car. Can't get it fresher than that. That is, yeah, that's the freshest that it could be. Do you know what Papa Murphy says? I don't.

It's, uh, they make your pizza except they don't cook it. They give it to you and then you cook it at home. That's technically the freshest. But honestly, given the way the Papa Murphy's taste versus the way Domino's taste, I'd rather have an, uh, an oven car from Domino's. Yeah. than a Papa Mercies that I made here. You know, and I got to say Domino's advertising is a lot like the opposite.

It's like, don't worry, we got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You sit back. There are so few steps to this for you. Yes. But if you want to check in on it, here's a pizza tracker. You could text us. You don't even have to like call us.

Yeah. In 2018, Domino's launched an initiative to pave over potholes because bad roads shouldn't happen to good pizza. They sent construction crews out in all 50 states, complete with road cones that said paving for pizza on them, and branding the freshly paved road with both the Domino's logo and the phrase, oh, yes, we did. The stunt was received positively, but with an aftertaste of, wait, shouldn't our government be doing this for us? Wow. Yeah. So now they're getting into humanitarian efforts or infrastructural number one pizza company globally.

I see why. I see it. Yeah. Yeah. They made a complete 180. Yeah. Resilience is the perfect word. It took them 15 years to go from, guys, we suck to, yo, suck it. Yeah.

We're fixing the country. Yeah, we're making things better. Yeah. And I can't, I can't help but think about some of the accidents that they had on the road and them sort of paying it forward in that way. Yeah. Or even just like a flat tire from a pothole. It's like, well, now my pizza's, you know, whatever. It's cold.

A couple of them were in Burbank, the potholes. Oh my gosh. And they put yes we did on them. Oh yes we did. Oh yes we did. Do you think people knew what that meant? Well, it also was next to the Domino's logo. Yeah.

And clearly fresh pavement. Yeah, I guess. So if you're a local in that neighborhood and you know of your local potholes, that is probably... You'd have to be pretty dumb to not understand what that meant. And I would maybe not understand. I don't think I would... You know what? I'm going to be honest.

I lived in Burbank for 11 years. I definitely saw those pothole, those paves, and I was just like, what is this? Yeah. Domino's spray-painted, oh, yes, we did on the road. That's what it looked like. Okay. Just bad vandalism. What a weird place to market.

Yeah. Still, we're in a residential zone. Still works, though. It works. Still, you're like, Domino's. I see the logo now I want it. Yeah. Yeah.

The Pips. The Pips. Sounds like a condition. One of Domino's signature innovations is the pizza tracker. that online status bar that goes from order placed to out for delivery, assuring you every step of the way. It turns out the tracker is mostly an illusion, a very clever one. In reality, the stages are largely pre-programmed on a timer with only a couple manual triggers. For example, when a driver leaves the store and presses the out-for-delivery button,

the system will automatically update to delivered after 10 minutes whether your pizza has actually arrived or not. There's no GPS on your pie, and the tracker can't account for traffic jams, multiple deliveries on one. route or a driver taking a wrong turn. Domino's acknowledges these quirks. The pizza tracker was designed more as a fun psychological comfort for impatient customers than a literal real-time monitor. By giving anxious pizza lovers constant updates, even if scripted, Domino's found it can make the weight feel shorter and keep customers happier, a savvy trick that many apps and services have since tried to emulate. See, now this... It's a little upsetting. This is upsetting. This is upsetting. and it makes a lot of sense.

Yeah. Given what me, Josh, Dane, Eliza, Lulu, Mojohn, Simone, Sam, Jack, some of the people I didn't mention before that I've been thinking about this whole time. Faced. I was going to say, what's the verb in this sentence? You've just listed so many subjects. What's the verb grammatically? Faced, okay. Yeah, you're like, of all the verbs

In the list of who you were talking about that, I was like, I got nervous. Is this sentence done after the names? I got nervous. You saw it. Yeah. I was like, this is what we faced at Vassar. Yeah.

Because this would happen all the time. And it would say delivered. And we'd be like, where's the pizza then? Yeah. Where is it? And it would come. It would come. But sometimes even longer than 30 minutes after delivered.

Yes. Yeah. So other question, did someone leak this? Or did they just say? Like, I'm sure. I mean, I'm sure there's so many employees that like someone tells a friend. Right. Like, hey.

It just got out. It becomes common knowledge. Yeah. I don't think this is like a whistleblower situation. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah.

But you never know with the rivalries. Yeah. all of the, you know, the fighting. A Pizza Hut employee infiltrated dominoes and was like, I guess I've got, I've got dirt. There was a sting operation. There was a sting operation. And that'll do it for this week's Eat Deats. James, I hope hearing the lore behind a successful chain has tickled the creative side of your brain because it is now your responsibility to tell me about a restaurant concept of your very own.

We need a theme song for this segment and I need you to give me a style. Okay. A style of song you want to emulate. Christmas. All right. This is the restaurant of your dreams Christmas Christmas

I'll eat with or without pepperonies This is the restaurant Of our dreams Let's take that last line again This is the restaurant Of our dreams Great James

I want to know what you are doing To impose the recesses of your mind upon the world of casual dining with your very own dream restaurant, something so good that George R.R. Martin would be forced to finish winds of winter just so he could write chapter after chapter after chapter describing the majesty of the food offerings there. It must be practical, delicious, and memorable. Three, two, one, go. Well, I'm glad you mentioned winter. First of all, the concept, the name, Santa's Kitchen. Great. It's called Santa's Kitchen. So when I pitched this to my mom the other night, because I did, she assumed that it meant that this is what Santa was feeding all the elves.

I could see that. Like it's Santa's kitchen. Well, I think it's like Santa's workshop, but like the elves are at work making the food. That's my interpretation. Okay, okay, okay. So neither are right. Great. Neither are right.

Great. This is Santa's diet. Oh, God. Yeah. You're going to create problems. Well, you never know because here's the, okay, here's the thing. First of all, when my mom added that in, I was like, that's good too. Yeah.

It's what Santa feeds. It's just the diet of the North Pole. Yeah. If you're working at Santa's workshop, this is my dream restaurant. I love Christmas. And I would never, I would never crap on your dreams. Thank you. Yeah.

You can if you want. I don't want to. Okay. Thanks. I like you. Thanks. You're a kind guy. I like you too.

Yeah. And I like your eyes. I'm lost. So this is the slogan. It's not only what elves eat, but what Santa's eat from time to time two. That's such a long slogan. And it's on the front of every restaurant. Like you're going to spend so much money on door decals.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. But it's Santa money. It's Santa money. Because, okay, there's a story. Notoriously gives out toys for free. Yeah. There's a story behind it.

Not among the billionaire class. Yes. Listen, you know, I've watched your podcast a lot. I've seen you go through the deep dives of these restaurants. So there is one for Santa's Kitchen. Uh-huh. Okay. So first of all, there's a, there's a Ronald McDonald type of story.

Yeah. Where the equivalent of a grimace is like a Rudolph. Or like a Mrs. Claus is like the hamburger. Yeah, yeah. Is Mrs. Claus stealing food? Yeah, Santa cooks. It's not like a tradition. It's not like it defies the stereotypes.

Like Santa cooks, Mrs. Claus is the one that gets like sort of like served. And she's the one who sort of like comes into the kitchen steals a little taste before it's ready. Yeah. That's just to sell toys. This whole thing. Because the real story,

so the guy who started it was a pig farmer in rural Mississippi. Right? So one Christmas Eve, he saw Santa Claus giving the kids presents. Like he woke up in the middle of the night in his home. He has two kids. Yeah. And he sees Santa, you know, giving the presents. And he's like, holy, holy moly.

Yeah. Classic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Mississippi. As one says. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mississippi rural language. Yeah.

He was impressed because Santa, Santa was like fit. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, oh my gosh, like the image of you is like, you know, not this. You're not like cut like this. Yeah. And Santa's like, oh, sorry. So this is so he he was surprised when he saw Santa. He said Santa. Right. Right. Yes. And, and, and then he said, you look snatched. What's your diet? Yeah. What you eat? And Santa replied, yeah, son. We eaten good up in the North. poll. This is like 2015, so he was like up on internet slang and stuff. Yeah, and then it became

they became business partners and the rest is history. So Sando went in on this. He's not just the inspiration. He's in it. Yeah, yeah. The pig farmer who I don't know his name something Doyle. I think he's just happy being known as the pig farmer. Yeah, yeah. As one would be. Yeah, that's his nickname. Yeah. The pig farmer. Again, nickname really long nickname. Yeah, yeah. really long slogan. Yeah,

you know, lots of long words. The guy who brings slop to pigs and watches Santa give presents to kids. Yes. That's all in his title. That's his full name. His nickname is the pig farmer.

Yeah. Yeah. So, but yeah, no, they became business partners, started this business adventure. And that'll do it for this week's eat deeds.

Yeah. We got two for the price of one in this episode. Yeah. Okay. So what are we? What is the diet? What is the food? So, so, here's where it gets a little real, right?

So obviously, cookies and milk, dessert. Menlo does, yeah. Well, as that as he does. Yes. You know, I think viewers will be really bummed to hear this, but reindeer is a big item on the menu. Look, it's like when you raise cows. Exactly. You know what they're going to become.

Exactly. But you still love them while they're here, you know? Exactly. And we can name them. Yeah. They can be Comet. They can be Prancer. Blitzen.

Rudolph. Doner. We know that one. Dasher. Naming them out of order is so much harder. They can be Comet and Donner and Rudolph and dancer. Dancer and Blitzen and Cupid. Don't forget.

Is that one of the? I think so. is. I think you're right. I think we got them all, but it's hard to know when it's out of order. Sound off in the comments if we know our reindeer. So they're eating reindeer. Is it like a stew? It's like if you imagine like the ghost of Christmas future or whatever the one is that. They're holding chains. Is that future? I don't know. I think that's the ghost of Marley. If I'm not mistaken. Sound off in the comments.

Correct our Christmas lore. Yeah. Yeah. I think the, it's either present. Oh, no, it's present. It goes to Christmas present. Yeah. And he brings the feast. Yeah.

And there's like these like glistening turkeys. And they've got like little booties on them. Yeah. That's what the, that's what the root. Rudolph. Great. Sorry, they don't cook Rudolph. The ones who are talented, they don't kill.

They get to haul santa them around. They're eternal. But if you don't make the cut, you're getting cut. Yes. But, but like, eth ethically like like they're halal yeah they're they're kosher yeah this was a big selling point yeah um no it because muslims and and jewish people are are uh notoriously love christmas they love santa's kitchen they will be they love santa's kitchen because it's open on christmas

it's open on christmas day of course yeah i mean it's it's the biggest day in the restaurant yeah for a reason yeah yeah what else are they eating they're eating carrots Chinese food it's just really a Chinese food restaurant and reindeer that's it just sesame reindeer yeah yeah it's all it's all sweet and sour reindeer it's all the foods that you would be able to find on Christmas day and and and reindeer and rain deer and carrots and cookies and cookies and great so and and and sort of the interior of the oh and candy and candy obviously That was another addition from my mom. Shout out my mom.

Yeah. Stocking stuffers. Stocking stuffers. Candy canes. Yeah. Classic. You know, um, sugar. You could, you know.

Sugar plum. Sugar plum. Yeah. Chestnuts. Roasting on fire. Fire. Um, partridge. Perchries.

Perchries. You know, they actually are pear trees just ever. It's, it's beautiful. Bartlets. It's like an oasis in there. It's like there's vines and it's like these big halls. And, but, But there's no, there's, oh, I'm getting a little Santa eat myself.

There's, there's, what makes the naughty list? But there's, there's a few things you might not like. Only communal tables. I'm out. Only communal tables. That's how the elves eat. That's how the elves eat. If you want the full authentic experience.

I don't. Yeah, then you should probably go somewhere else. Okay. You should probably go to just a Chinese food restaurant. Amazing. Yeah. Thanks for going. over all of that with me, James.

Yeah, and there was one other thing I wrote down. Okay. Look, I'm here to get silly, but this is a genuinely good idea for a restaurant. And I know your fan base are very big people in the restaurant industry. So think about it. That wasn't one more thing. That was just like an appeal. Please, if you've got deep pockets, make this a reality.

James, thanks for letting me know what you dream about. Thank you. One last time, just that little stinger at the theme song. Oh. Oh, yeah. This is the restaurant of your dreams. Now let's bring things back to reality and see what other people think of the dominoes that we ate at in this week's Yelp from Strangers. We need a little Yelp, a little Yelp from strangers.

A one star, two star, three star, four or five y'i So get a little Yelper. Give us those complaints while you literally whited. This is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite. One, two, three, four, and five star Yelp reviews. James, do you mind if I read the first one? I don't mind. Great.

One star review. This is a one star review. This is from Ethan M from Universal City, California, written March 2, 2025. I got food poisoning from this Domino's location and wish I could give it zero stars because that's exactly what it deserves. Can't you? No, you cannot. And I want to tell you, I have started to realize, and look, I've been doing this show a while. It should not have taken me almost 125 restaurants to.

realize how common the phrase, if I could give this zero stars, I would. Makes sense. But it's all over every. Look, if you're writing a Yelp review and you want to be original, there's three things that I always see. If I could give this place zero stars, I would. The word manager being in quotes, as though you don't trust that the person is a manager. And saying costumer instead of customer.

Ooh. Dozens and dozens and dozens of times. That is the typo I find. This is like your bingo card. This is my bingo card of Yelp. Yeah. Shout out Eli Lloyd for bingo card. Stop shouting at people.

You hit your quota. I also want to say, if you've been listening to this podcast and it brings you joy, I want you to do me a favor. Go on to Apple Podcasts. And I want you to leave me a review, a five-star review. and I just want you to write if I could give this zero stars I would. The manager of this show. Of this podcast. Ask me to give it a five star review.

If I could give it zero stars I would five stars. Yeah. Yeah. Costumer. But it is important to actually give it five stars. That is a takeaway. Yes, costumer. To be a good costumer, you have to give a five star. I ordered a pizza that was an absolute waste of money and a total

assault on my senses. The moment I opened the box, I was hit with a stench so foul it could only mean one thing. This pizza was expired. And they tried to mask it with an absurd amount of salt. Expired? I don't know how you can tell that. It's cooked. Expired?

When did it expire? How long did it take to get to this person? Yeah. The pizza tracker was a lie. Yeah. It came the next month. Yeah. If it's expired.

I don't know. Yeah, I don't know how that happened. I mean, like, maybe they're accusing the ingredients of being expired. Or maybe they're getting poetic with it. I think so. By the time I opened the box, it had expired. Yeah. It was completely inedible, far too salty to even force down a bite.

And the rancid smell left me no choice but to toss it straight in the trash. Oh. This place clearly has no regard for quality or its customers. They're just offloading garbage and calling it food. Save your money and your stomach. Avoid this dump at all costs. I can't that's a that's a bad combo salty pizza yeah I don't want that I've put like a little bit of sea salt as like on top of the Dejorno not a lot not a lot but it adds a texture and it's it's not bad I'm sure there's some combos I'm just thinking of my order from dominoes with salt on it and I don't I don't like this sound of that yeah well and also a lot of the meats are like cured meats so it's like they are Like pepperoni is already a very salty thing.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. You're getting salt on pizza. Yeah. So the thing I'm imagining is so salty. So I mean, if I had that pizza, I'd probably be saying the same stuff. Yeah. But I didn't. But you didn't?

So you can't. So I can't. Two star review. So this is from Aaron S from Burbank, California. This is their only ever Yelp review. Yep. It's two stars. And it's from May 15th, 2020.

I love, for how long this is about to be, the amount of effort into a not one-star review. Yeah. It's two. Like, there's still something redeeming. I ordered four pizzas and two eight-piece chicken wings for delivery about an hour ago. And when the delivery guy arrived, he called me and told me to open the door because I had to sign something. In parentheses, I have two dogs and had instructed over. the phone to leave the food outside the door and to not knock because they bark and tend to scare

people. Understandable. As someone with dogs, I get that. Understandable. And parentheses. And I found that very unusual because the lady I was talking to on the phone asked if I had any special delivery instructions and did not tell me anything about a paper I had to sign when my delivery driver arrived. When he arrived, I did not have any cash on me ready. So as my mom signed whatever paper that had to be signed. It was actually a headshot. It was her headshot. Yeah.

They just wanted an autograph. Yeah, just get the name out there. They signed the paper that had to be signed and brought the food into the house. I looked for any cash in my wallet I could find to give it to him. The grammar gets a little shaky here. After my mom was done with bringing the food in, she closed the screen door, parentheses. It's not our main door. Okay, we don't need this.

I love, but I love that she put it. It's not our main door. You're still able to see the inside of the house. We understand what a screen door is, Aaron. You didn't invent this. Honestly, it's more confusing. End parentheses. So the dogs wouldn't run out while she helped me look for, this is really,

she's going really in depth about this experience. Two stars. Not the worst it could be. So the dogs wouldn't run out while she helped me look for the cash. The driver very rudely. yelled at the halfway point of our stairs. This is like a novel. Yeah.

At the halfway point of our stairs, complaining about how we weren't going to tip, saying, you're not going to tip. And my mother opened the door again to ask what he said. He very, very rudely and loudly said, don't order late. You're not going to tip. My mother was extremely confused because no customer service worker has ever complained about us not tipping and was confused. and was confused as to why he got so aggressive all of a sudden.

The framing on that sounds like we don't tip. No one's ever cared. That's what it sounds like. Yeah, she's outing herself a little bit here. He ranted on for a good 20, 30 seconds about how we weren't tipping him and how we shouldn't order late if we're not going to tip. Already said that sort of. My mother said she can't find cash. And he shover the receipt in her face and said she can add a tip.

there and my mom added a tip even though tips are not mandatory you know what i'm now seeing why the driver was like you need to sign something because they probably didn't preload the tip in the app or in the call or whatever so it's like yeah imagine you're like calling in an order not through the app where you can't add tip and you're like just leave it at the door if i'm that driver i'm gonna knock i want you to sign true if you're deciding not to tip me i want you to own it i want you to have to write it down that you're not doing that. I'm on the driver's side here. I'm the more I read, the more I'm on the driver's side.

Plus, this individual is describing screen doors to us. I can't. I can't with that. I can't with that. I just feel bad for the mom. Yeah. I mean, she's just like, she didn't sign up for this. The daughter should have tipped.

Yeah. She could have stooped down to his level and refused to tip, but she tipped him anyway because she genuinely felt bad about now being able to find cash. I live in an apartment complex, and for him to start yelling like that at 12 a.m. is extremely unprofessional and disrespectful. I get that. Yeah, but we all have yelling. We all have a breaking point. Yeah, he probably had a tough day. Let's just be on his side. You don't have to be. Which just shows what side of history. Yeah. This will go down in history.

I have worker in customer service at multiple different locations and know how hard it can be to deal with customer. But I also understand if someone does not want to tip considering tips aren't mandatory and it is their money and they have the right to do whatever they please with it, morally I believe in tipping if the customer going on a whole tangent now. I'm also going to say, given the fact that this person is like my mom, I live at home. Yes. This might be a teenager. Wow. Twist. To be like, I've worked in customer service.

I don't have to tip. Those feel like teenage viewpoints. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Because any adult who's worked in customer service is like, I absolutely have to tip. And this person is like being extra nice to their mom. Yeah. My poor mom. And who knows what that relationship is like outside of this review. When her mom gave birth to her in Stephen Colbert's mouth, this is the domino's baby. Her angel of a mom. Yeah. Yeah. This is the Domino's baby that's writing this.

Yeah. Morally, I believe in tipping if the customer service was good. And I will almost never buy food without tipping my cashier. or waiter because I know how hard the job can be and I know how happy one little tip can make someone that reads a certain way I know how happy one little tip can make so but for him to really demand a tip from us can I just like tips aren't like oh go about your day

yay happy tipping culture is what it is because like big companies are exploiting workers and not paying them enough Yeah. Tips shouldn't be a thing. Yeah. But the world, the reality of what we live in is they are necessary so that people can actually have their jobs pay for their life, which is the point of working. Ideal in an ideal society, obviously we live in a society, but in an ideal one,

yeah. Tips don't exist because people are just paid well. Yeah. I believe in tipping if the customer service was good and I almost never will buy food without tipping my cashier or waiter because I know how hard the job can be. and I know how happy one little tip can make someone. But for him to really demand a tip from us, let alone speak to my mother that way, makes my blood boil. Why should I have to tip him after he disrespected my mother like that in her house on Mother's Day?

That, what a drop. What a drop. Why should I have to tip him after he started yelling at my apartment complex at 12 a.m.? The Dominoes also forgot my sauces. But after I called and told them the situation they kindly told me, I'd get free sauces on my next order. And after I told them the situation about my driver, they said that his behavior was unacceptable and that they would talk to him. So it was handled appropriately and I appreciate their customer service. Overall, I have nothing to complain about the food other than my missing sauces, which were barely noticed.

But the way the delivery driver talked to us and expected a tip from us, which we were going. going to give was unacceptable and very shocking, considering no one in customer service has ever talked to us in such way. You made it. I think you're sweating. I just was thinking about the situation. My gosh, there's a novel. Yeah.

And the same things over and over again. And then to just be like, the food was great. Right. No problem. Yeah. They didn't even deliver the stuff. I didn't know. It was actually pretty good.

Good. To mention you didn't deliver the sauces. But I didn't really care. Really, this is a novel because the driver expected a tip. And he yelled. He yelled on Mother's Day. I don't like that. Hey there. It's me, Michael. And now that we're in season four, I'm adding more content to my Patreon. Not only can you hear the extended Yelp from Stranger segment with three more reviews. And not only can you get an exclusive full episode covering an extra chain restaurant on the last. day of each month, but I've added an extra chat with my guests where we discussed their go-to fast food and chain restaurants and talk about why they love them so much. I hope you'll come check it out and you can get your first week completely free of charge. That's patreon.com slash fine dining podcast. I appreciate and love you all back to the episode. And that's part one. Tune in next week as we tell you what we thought about our meal at Domino's. In the meantime, James, where can people get more of you online? Oh my gosh.

Well, I have a comic book coming out. Oh, hell yeah. The Blues Brothers return of Joliet Jake. The Escape of Joliet Jake. Sorry, I forgot the name of my own comic book. It comes out November 18th. Nice. 2025.

And then you can see, you can look at my Instagram and see all the stuff I'm doing at Jamesy Joe Henry. You know, see me at UCB at WGIS. Sometimes. Do a lot of performing. Yeah. Sometimes the club house. playing a couple bands,

trees and knees. Trees and knees. You know, no relation. Was that intentional at all for them north? Not intentional. Great. Yeah. And you can follow the show at Instagram and TikTok at Fine Dining Podcast.

You can go to Blue Sky and find me there. I probably won't notice if you follow me because I never get on it, but I'm there. I have a Discord where I would definitely notice if you showed up. So if you're a Discord user, come join my server and just chat with me, talk food opinions, call me stupid. Say the word cheese and it'll bleep you. I have a bot set to just like yell at you if you say cheese. It's great. And I do an exclusive Patreon episode every single month, a full restaurant review that

covers a place that I do not do on the main podcast feed. And you get the full extended Yelp from Stranger's segments. So join me there. This is a listener-supported podcast. So everything helps. Everything is appreciated. In the meantime, we'll just be sitting here one week waiting on our table before we review Domino's next week.

I'll see you all then. Have a fine day.