Fine Dining - Septemburger Has Arrived!! (Fuddruckers vs. Applebee's//Islands vs. Bob's Big Boy//Outback Steakhouse)

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

It's the burger battle of the year as Septemburger is now upon us! The tournament kicks off as the 8 entrants are announced and seeded Maybe the most badass theme song ever Garrett details the history of the hamburger in Burger Fact Round-Up #3 seed Fuddruckers faces off against the #6 seed Applebees #2 seed Islands faces off against the #7 seed Bob's Big Boy First round scoring for #4 seed Outback Steakhouse ahead of its match-up next week against the #5 seed Red Robin JUB will help you generalize your too-niche business plan Why's Outback so horned up? What's Going On Over There? SUBMISSIONS ARE NOW CLOSED THE $500 BRACKET GIVEAWAY! Thanks to all who entered, and best of luck! Music (including the Septemburger Theme Song): James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) "Fine" Dining Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month, extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get your 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on Fine Dining: Red Robin! If you have ever worked for Red Robin or have a story to share, send it to [e-mail].

Hello and welcome to a very special beginning of a themed month for the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. But this month, we're not looking for mediocrity. This month, we are looking for the best burger at the eight chain restaurants that we've decided to include in September. That's right, folks. We have chosen eight restaurants. We have seated them all, and we are doing a special weekly, tournament for the entire month of

Septemberger. I feel like I'm not allowed to say September on its own. It's got to be September. Okay, the lyrics are starting. Theme song. Take burgers and time. One burger leaves. Take a look at the men yeah.

Nothing for beef. So fire up that grill and fry up your soul. We're looking for something that's better than meteor. It's time for a birthday September. Yes, it's hard. For the test

They can only One Victor of First September Yeah, we're looking for some perfection on the bun Just be the best burger

That you can be Somewhere between heaven and ecstasy I can see that hunger It's in your life You're going for glory with the side of the

Friday Sets and Burger I am your host Michael Ornellis, by the way We got ahead of ourselves Yeah, I'm your host Garrett's Work And we're pitting these places against each other.

We're going to do four weeks of first round matches. So today, we're not going to one restaurant. We're not going to two restaurants. We're not going to three. We're not going to four. We are going to five restaurants. We are doing five different places that we have already been to for a standard episode. And those are going to be judged based on the strength of their burgers specifically.

We're talking about fudruckers. Islands. Applebee's. Outback. And Bob. Big Boy. So these are all places that you can find full episodes. And then in the coming three weeks, you will be able to hear episodes from our other three contenders. They will be standard full episodes where we are also looking for perfect mediocrity, but their burgers will be

a part of this tournament. And those will be the number one seed, umami burger, the number five seed, Red Robin. Yum. And the number eight seed, Johnny Rockets. Yeah. So we've picked all these out, three new places, five repeats in a single elimination tournament. Round one, you got to show that you can do the basics, right? Yeah, it's all about the fundamentals. If you don't know how to dribble a basketball, you're not going to be very damn good. Yeah. And so basic burgers for round one, round two and round three, that's when we get into the fun stuff.

That's when we're getting into signature burgers, whatever their best offerings are, their most popular offerings. but you got to get out of the first round to even matter in that regard. Yeah, if you don't know how to meet. If you don't know how to bun, you're not going to make it out of the first round. Yeah. So we are excited to get right to that for you. You will be able to hear the semi-finals and finals, which will be lumped together into one episode, the final Thursday of the month.

That will come out exclusively on our Patreon. So follow us through all the first round matches, the next four weeks. We're going to have a lot of fun. A lot of work has gone. into this. A lot of burgers have gone into this. So let's get to it. Your table is ready. Follow me. Have you tried our chicken breast? Serving pancakes and rips. I recommend the spaghetti. We're here to satisfy not to impress. Your table is ready. Complementary butter and bread. These walls have growth signs.

Knit-knack, cowboy hat, good luck cat. Altigraph guitar. Some grab from your city. Behold the touch key of mediocrity. Just fine dining, fine dining. Two ledgers on the sign aren't shining. Neal flickering irregular timing. Identify the perfect palatine. Okay, so the seeding for this, we've mentioned a couple of them, but we did have an exhaustive process.

We picked our eight restaurants, and then we ranked them based on the strength of the best burger we have ever had at that place. You are rated based on your history. historical performance. Number one. Our number one seed, Umami Burger. They were the best burger in Los Angeles.

Easily. For both of us, when we're like, okay, Umami burger. Unanimous, number one seed. Number two. Number two? I feel like there was some discussion about, but I think it was a pretty,

we had a pretty comfortable confidence in putting islands at number two. Islands, fine burgers and drinks. There are fourth episode. episode of the show. We went there a long time ago, but they're a solid burger. They are a strong burger joint. Number three. Our number three seed, we drove all the way back up to San Francisco to have once again Fuddruckers. Fuddhuggies, our second Patreon episode.

It's always Fuddies. Yeah. Strong performer in the burger game, Fud Ruckers. Number three makes sense to me. Yeah. Number four. Number four, I think, came with a little bit of my experience. there, Outback Steakhouse.

I always get the burger at Outback. I'm a staunch lover of Outback's burger, the Blooming Burger. You know, you take the Blumen Onion, the perfect appetizer, the sauce for it, you put that with a burger, it's going to be a good performer, but can they get by with the basics? That is the question, yeah.

Number five. Number five, they are definitely a notable name in the burger game. Red Robin. Yum. All about it. I'm excited to do that. You know what?

Next week, let's do Red Robin. Let's get the middle seed out of the way. We'll close the month out with the best and worst. I'm down for some bottomless fries. I love the bottomless fries there. Anytime I can walk into a public place and be attached to the word bottomless and not get arrested. Hell yeah. Dumb.

Number six. The number six seed, this is a place that you were really pushing for. Applebee's. Oh, I've always been a first. fan of Applebee's. I can't say it's good or great, but I've always been a fan. Number seven. Number seven, Bob's Big Boy, a place that I kind of have a mixed relationship with. I want to like Bob's more than I think I do in practice, but they're not bad. They're definitely not bad. But Bob's has never, yeah, that's never been a place I go to get a burger.

They're like a fast food diner to me. It's great breakfast. They're. They're, They actually used to be right across the street from an umami burger. So I would never go to Bob's because there was an Umami across the street. Then the Umami closed. And whenever my mom comes to town, she's always like, I have nostalgia for Bob's. I want to go to Bob's. But it's a different Bob's out here than she's used to from the Midwest. What I will say, though, is I do love just the feel of a Bob's.

It really plays into that kind of older school stuff. It reminds me of my grandfather, just like the vibe of a Bob's. The dingy, yellowy diner ceiling. Yeah. Oh, man. Number eight. And then speaking of old school, our number eight seed, Johnny Rockets. Another place that I grew up liking, I thought it'd be a fun pick for this. There's one at Universal City Walk, not too far from us.

And, yeah, that rounds out our bracket. So we'll get into the matches in just a bit. But first, I want to know about the history of burgers in jails. general. We don't have one specific restaurant to go into the resty facts. That is, resty as in restaurant, not rusty as so many people think. Yeah, I mean, it is our fault for naming it a thing that's close. But rusty makes no sense. They could be very antiquated facts. They could have developed rust and oxidation over the many, many years. That is, I guess, a way to look at it. But no, you and I are restaurant boys. We're resty boys.

And these are resty facts. Yeah! But we're not doing a resty fact roundup this week. Ah-hee! Because we couldn't just pick one place, so we've decided to look up the history of the burger itself. Yes, so we have the full history of the hamburger. So join us for this week's Burger Fact Roundup. Now, we are still rounding up facts, which means we have to whip them into place.

My mom, who listens every single week, is not. a fan of the whip noise that we use. She finds it a little abrasive. Your mom is a fan of the whip noise that we use because she thinks it's thematically appropriate. A thing that I agree with. So we're gonna keep the whip, but we gotta put a little something under there.

We've already whipped cows, which no cows were actually whipped. No. Or harmed in the making of that sound effect. No. I think just the sound of biting into and enjoying a burger. On three, Garrett. One, two, three.

According to the Library of Congress, Louis Lassen created the first official hamburger in New Haven, Connecticut in 1900, as a char-broiled ground beef patty served between two toasted slices of bread. I feel like it unofficially, it's got to go back further, right? Oh, it does. Unofficially goes back further.

Okay, but in terms of like a branded hamburger, we're looking at 1900s. Honestly, the only reason I chose this first was the Library of Congress said, this is the one. However, the origin of the hamburger is hotly contested as many claim to have served the legendary first burger. Some of the contenders for Burger Prime are

Burger Prime. Chili's, obviously. Oh, yeah. Chili's, Applebee's, Red Robin. Yum. So, here we go. Frank and Charles Menchies in 1885 at the Erie County Fair in Hamburg, New York.

They supposedly ran out of sausage and resorted to selling seasoned ground beef between slices of bread. They dubbed their sandwich, The Hamburger, after the city they were in. Yeah. Okay. I'm buying that as an origin story. What else have you found? That same year, Charlie Negreen, who is nicknamed Hamburger Charlie, smashed a meatball between two slices of bread and sold it at the Otagami County Fair in Seymour, Wisconsin, as a hamburger. See, at that point, it should be called a Seymour ber. A seymourger? A seymourger.

That's just close to something I don't want on a burger. Yeah. Oscar Weber, Bilby, no relation to Weber Grills, is the first documented person to flame grill ground beef patties. Okay. Starting in 1891, he and his wife hosted an annual Fourth of July party and serve these beef patties on homemade buns. Didn't you say that other one was 1885, though?

Yes. None of these are documented proven fat. I see, I see. So these are like the conflicting reports. Yes. Now, this couple actually had full hamburger buns, but they did not call them hamburgers. We have more.

Fletcher, old Dave Davis, claimed to have started selling hamburgers at his Athens, Texas food stall in the 1880s, and at the 1904-7. St. Louis World's Fair. I love the names of all these people. Can you just read them? Just the names.

Yeah, okay. Frank and Charles Menchies, the Menchies brothers. Charlie Negreen, Hamburger Charlie. Oscar Weber, Bilby. And Fletcher Old Dave Davis. Like, these all sound like mimes. Yeah, the old Dave story was listed in McDonald's history of the hamburger. Okay.

They actually created a publication about that. So they're throwing their hat in that ring. But Old Dave did not use the term hamburger, and according to locals at the time said he was selling just beef sandwiches. I mean, that makes sense. The one in the Hamburg County Fair, that's the one that just I buy it the most because of the name, the etymology, makes sense. And that's actually one of the most popular theories. The hamburger traces its origins back even farther to Rome between the first and fourth centuries in a dish called. called Isekia Omenata, which contained minced beef, pine nuts, peppercorns, and white wine formed

into a paddy and baked. Hmm. So they got them beat by quite a bit. Yeah. That was the historical first mention of a ground beef patty. By like, give or take 1,500 years. Yeah. Throughout the ages, various cultures have created their own ground or chopped beef dishes, too,

but the term hamburger didn't arise until the late 1800s. Within the next few decades, the hamburger really started to take off largely thanks to White Castle, the nation's first fast food restaurant, which was founded in 1921 in Wichita, Kansas. Were they the first fast food restaurant? Yes. Wow. Mind you, I think it's a technicality that they're the first fast food restaurant because they're the first restaurant that was founded based on the principle of cooking their burgers as quickly as possible. Okay. I like just picturing just a panic in the kitchen.

Just like, oh God, they ordered their burger three minutes ago. They had a similar thing going on, like, you know, how McDonald's really blew up thanks to like an assembly line? White Castle kind of did the same thing, too. Time magazine named the White Castle Slider, the most influential burger of all time in 2014. I hate that. I say this, I'm not a fan of White Castle. I love it. Let me rephrase that.

I don't love it. Non-sober Garrett really enjoys digging into a crave case. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. Something about it, I've just, anytime I've had a White Castle available to me, everything else feels like a better option. Once McDonald's burst onto the scene, the rest was history. American history.

We love our burgers. Today, on average, Americans eat three burgers per week. that is over 50 billion burgers per year. That's a lot of burgers. And, I mean, there was a time in my life where I'm probably downing four or five burgers a week. I'm not proud of it. I'm probably down to seven burgers a month if I had to guess. Wow.

I'm minimum four a week. Are you really? Just because, like, okay, if I go to in and out, you don't just get one. You get more than one burger. I just get a double patty, but I still get one. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the term burger wasn't used as an abbreviation for hamburger until 1939. Yeah, we'll take our time. We'll pronounce the whole word. It's the 1930s. We don't got much else going on. The most expensive burger ever created wasn't one of those gold leaf-plated caviar monstrosities, but it was grown from cow stem cells at a cost of $330,000.

That's a pricey burger. Yeah. In 2013, a Dutch team grew a hamburger consisting of 20,000 small strips of muscle tissue, and according to the two lucky or unlucky taste testers, the taste and texture were off, even though it did indeed look like a burger. Yeah, I imagine because the muscles didn't really get used. I mean, did they do anything to, like, simulate muscle movement or anything like that?

No, which I think that's a missing element. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to see like a burger just sitting there being electrically stimulated and pulsing in my plate. Like those things from the 90s where it's like, get abs now and they're just little things that like you shock your abs and you just sit there and get a six pack allegedly. I've never gotten a six pack from those, but I did get to use one once. And it was a great workout. Was it really? Yeah.

That's interesting. Last year in 2022, two separate lawsuits were filed against Burger King, McDi, McDonald's. and Wendy's over consumer fraud relating to the overstated and over-advertised sizes of their beef patties. Meaning, someone felt that they were owed more than they got. I mean, I guess when you literally have a burger called a quarter-pounder on your menu, if someone takes it out and weighs it and it doesn't match up to a quarter-pound, you know, you kind of have a case.

Actually, one of the witnesses in the case is a former advertiser that worked with these companies. Oh. And this advertiser said that they take pictures of not fully cooked beef patties. So it looks juicier. It's bigger. It is heavier. It hasn't had that shrink yet on cooking it.

And then it has that little glisten. Yeah. So you see a commercial burger that's undercooked. In the end, I guess everyone lies about size. Ha! Is that it? Is that the end of Burger Fact Roundup? Is that really how we're ending it?

Yes. All right. That'll do it for Burger Fact Roundup. lying about the size. That's enough burger facts. I think we can get into the meat of it. No pun intended. We're going to do our first matchup,

Islands versus Bob's Big Boy. We went to Bob's Big Boy all the way back in episode, was it 10 or 11? 11. Episode 11. We took my mom. The score was heavily biased by her nostalgia. And the terrible service we received. That's right. We did have really...

We had really good service this time. This guy was amazing. Maybe they recognized us and we're like, you know what? We need a second chance. Let's show these guys some love. Yeah, I'm sure they're listening to every episode of the pod. And they're like, oh no, what did they think of us? The guy that owns it does have our business card. Does he really? Yeah, I made sure to get it to him before our first episode released.

Oh, interesting. I don't know if you ever listened. Yeah. So we went into Bob's Big Boy before we... we get into the burgers that we got, I do want to talk about Garrett staving off a panic attack. Okay, diners are loud. I'm used to that, but this diner was exceptionally loud, and we were seated right next to this area where the bussers just slam their plates, trays. Like, we were in the detritus zone, and it was way too loud. The detritus zone? Yes. Let's just where they leave

their crap. So, round one, of course we're going basic. We're getting the original Big Boy, which is what Bob's Big Boy kind of puts forth as their main thing. So they've got, I guess, a case to be made for having a strong first round performance potentially, right? Oh, yeah, definitely. I look at their original as kind of like a Big Mac Plus.

I think that's a good way to describe it. The bun in the middle, I thought was a, I didn't really notice it. that much. I didn't either. You don't really notice the middle big mac bun, but that's where you have the opportunity for, you know, when you get that bun with the little crisp edge around it? Yes. That's where you have the opportunity to really shine with that and add that texture in the middle of your burger. And I feel it was a missed opportunity based on what we got. That's true. Oh yeah, just slather it in butter, get it nice and crispy. Get a little toasty. Yeah. Yeah, it was almost just like a placeholder in the middle of our burger. It had a function. That was it. But what I really feel

the function was, was it prevented them from really going all out and giving us the thicker patty. The original big boy comes with two patties and they're both a little bit thin. And I feel that it was to its detriment. So the way we're doing this Septemberger tournament is you got to win the first round to get to your later entries. That said, we're eating all the entries. Oh, yeah. Why would we not? So all of these places that lose in the first round, we still tasted a second and third round burger for each one, just in case they got to the finals.

And that just means we got to eat more burgers. So, yeah. And so Bob's big boy, I think, did itself a disservice because those thicker patties were quite a bit better, I thought. They were different. I'll say that. And then with the original big boy, you have, Like the red relish, as they call it.

Yeah, kind of their secret sauce, right? Yeah, it's a red relish mixed with, like, some of the tomato juices, something like that. You and I had differing opinions on it. Yeah. It was my least favorite part of it. And I don't want to say this was my favorite part of it, but I think it's better than the Big Mac sauce. Mm-hmm. I like the red relish better than the Big Mac sauce because it adds a little extra sweetness to it.

Normally, I'm not a fan of sweet. To me, I was getting like a sour, like the relish. I don't know. I don't think I'm a relish guy. Between Portillo's. Yeah, I'm not a pickled thing guy. Pickled thing person. You're not a pickled thing person.

I'm not a PTP. So my score for the original Big Boy. Yeah. I thought it was messy. The secret sauce was actually too tomato-y for my liking. The outside bun texture was good. The one in the middle I just wanted a little more from. The burger meat on its own, we tried, and I thought it was a little disappointing.

I go 5.78 out of 10. It's not terrible. It's above quote unquote perfectly average, but it's right in that average range. So that's about where it sits with me. I think this is the complete package of a burger for me. It's moist. It has a bunch of varied textures

and each element alone combined makes it great. Well, I'll admit, each thing alone is mediocre. Right. But when he put them together, the sum is greater than its parts. So I will give this a six point. So that means the original big boy, the first round score for Bob's big boy, is a 6.15.

And that goes up against our number two seed islands. Islands has some work to do. To clear a 6.15? I'll say this. Not to give away anything about the basic Islands burger, but for both of us, this was our first time trying it. Let's cut to that. Islands brought it. It did.

Islands is one of the most consistent burger places I have ever been to. See, I've had some underwhelming burgers there. I never have had an underwhelming meal at Islands. I've, uh, I'll say this. I have never had one so underwhelming that I thought Bob's had a chance here. But I mean, hey, it's the number two seed for a reason. So let's get into it. The basic burger at islands.

The big wave. The big wave. That's what they call it. And one of their original menu item. Let me tell you something, Garrett. Let me tell you something, dude. I just turned into Hulk Hogan all of a sudden. So the big wave at Island was really solid.

And for the first time in my life, I not only tolerated, but enjoyed the balance of pickles and mustard on a burger. Yeah, it really reminded me of like a Cuban sandwich. A little bit. It had that vibe. Like the mustard was light enough that it didn't dominate. Because those are both very strong tastes. Because it was like an American yellow mustard, which is very pungent.

I thought this was good. This was a 7.12 from where I'm sitting. My favorite part about this burger was the bun. It was so perfectly crispy. You could literally hear it when you bit into it. This burger was amazing. I'm going to go 7.36 for it. 7.36.

So that means islands, the Big Wave Burger, their first round entry, into September burger gets a 7.24. That soundly defeats the original big boy. As expected. From Bob's. Pour one out for our fallen meaty boy. Yeah. What a...

What a phrase. What a phrase. So islands moving on to the second round. Yeah, that wasn't even close. A full point of differential. And these are the basics, right? your basic burger, you're scoring over seven at an island? I think Big Boy, they chopped themselves off at the knees by having really thin patties.

Yeah. The double thin patty thing. I don't think that's conducive for a burger tournament at all. Well, I mean, I do like me a double meat thin burger. I just don't think they did it as well as others. Okay, well, we have one more full matchup to do in this episode, but why don't we take a little break in the middle and do? outback's part of the bracket right now. I love Outback burgers. When I go to Outback, kind of my default is the burger. I almost always get a disappointing steak there. It's a

steakhouse. I get steak. They threw Steakhouse in the name, which I think was a mistake for Outback. I feel like they didn't need the word Steakhouse and people would view their burgers, I guess a little bit more fondly. Outback Burger House? No, just Burger Shack. Just Outback. I don't know. Just Outback. It doesn't need to be put in a box, Garrett. And now, a word from our totally not made up sponsor. Oh, hi there. It's a favorite sponsor, Jub, and I'm back with another business idea for you. Is your business niche? Do you sell specifically one thing, or at least claim that you specialize in it? That's silly. You want to have mass appeal, baby, so go broad.

Are you a sandwich shop? Not anymore, you're not. With Job's guidance, you'll just be a shop. Hell, maybe even just a building. Have an air of mystery about you. When people go in, they'll be like, oh, this could be a really good taqueria. Or maybe they're a puppy mill. Which is a bad thing. So obviously, if you were one, you wouldn't want to advertise it.

Too specific. It's got to make people mad. So go broad. Why paint yourself in a corner? Let the customer tell you what you sell. You could be the only store in the world that sells both Pogo sticks and World War I memorabilia. I don't know, just have a little bit of everything. If you think this is manageable, I'll help you out.

All you got to do is call me. Not on a phone because I don't have one, but just walk into a crowded intersection and say, Hey, I'm looking for that guy about that thing. Again, don't be specific. I'll know it's me. I'll find you. Anyways, I got to get going.

I've been told I'm liable if anyone gets hit by traffic as a result of trying to track me down. Okay, bye. Outback's matchup is going to be against Red Robin. Yum. So, we'll play out the match and see how this burger did against Red Robin next week in that episode, but we can talk about it now, the Outbacker burger.

Now, it did come with the option to include bacon. Thank God we did. The bacon was good. It was really great bacon. Yeah. It added a little saltiness that I think the burger was lacking. Sure. So go ahead and list off what were all the things that came on this burger.

Lettuce, tomato, onion, house-made pickles, and mustard. Which is what we got plus the bacon. And so we took our first bite, very thick cut of tomato. It was a good tomato, but it just kind of overpowered, I thought. It did. My initial thought was, what the hell is this a BLT? Right. It tastes just like a BLT from the first bite.

So I kind of took that bite, clocked it, took out the tomato, took out the pickles, because I'm not a big pickle guy. They were solid pickles, though. I didn't hate these pickles. Yeah, they were like spicy seasoned pickles. Once I had this thing, I guess, kind of customized down to my liking with, you know, I had the bite of tomato, tasted it. It's part of the score, but also the bite I had where it just was without it and the bacon and all that was really good. I thought for a base burger, 7.18.

Not a crazy high scoring burger, but a very solid baseline burger. A very solid first round burger. So 7.18 for the Outbacker burger. I agree that once items were removed, you got more of a taste. So I took off the pickles and I took off the tomato. I wanted to just boil this down to the essence of burger. Was the meat good? Yes. And the meat was good. It was juicy even though I ordered it medium, unlike your medium rare.

I'm a meat. Well, we shared. We did. So I had medium as well. I just, I feel weird having medium rare ground meat from a chain restaurant. And I will throw caution to the wind. Remember when we went to Planet Hollywood at the airport. I'm like, my airport steak needs to be medium for my own safety.

Yeah, but they peeled it off the tarmac, so we don't know this burger meat wasn't shipped in a cardboard box from Australia. We don't know, but I'm willing to risk it. One thing I liked most about this burger was the bun. It was soft, buttery, and it had that golden edge around it. You know, when they grill it, the crispy golden ring. The little edge ring that you just get that little crunch on bite. Yes, there's just something textually appealing about. I love that, yeah.

So without the tomato, without the pickles, this was boiled down to meat, meat, bun. So I watched a TikTok from the executive chef of Umami burger. Uh-huh. Our number one seed. Now this chef, his idea of burgers, you should have no more than three toppings on any burger. Sure, which is just a philosophical point. That's not necessarily factually. it is the way it should be. But I'm 100% in that camp. I want to taste the elements of the burger.

Yeah. I mean, I've always been referred to as a burger purist and that I tend to want bun and meat to be the very like primary things. If you've got some sort of sauce that you're shilling, great. Highlight it. Onion is usually a freebie, especially if it's like the fried onion strings and then beyond that. I don't know. Don't do too much. But I'm willing to judge a place based on what creation they want to. put forth. All that being said, once I simplified this burger down, it was excellent. 7.51 for this basic burger. So you went higher than me. I did. So that means the Outbacker burger in the first round gets a 7.35.

Wow. That's a good entry for the first round. So I guess we'll see next week how it does against Red Robin. Yum. You did it. 7.35. I mean, that's even high. higher than Island's first round score.

Yeah, that's going to be really hard to beat. Yeah. So. They need like five yums. Yum with five M's. Yeah, yeah. Yum. That was six.

Oh, sorry. Now, I will say, though, there was something a little bit weird at Outback. We couldn't help but observe something that was just a little off the beaten path, so to speak. Yeah, it was pretty forward of this restaurant to, just assume things about us. So we, when we were in Outback, they had just a little card on the table that said, let's be friends with benefits.

Wow, Outback. And I'm just wondering, What's going on over there? Michael, what's going on over there? What I think is happening is, all right, we've all accepted. All these chain restaurants, regardless of what type of cuisine they are,

no matter where they say they're from, they're American. Yeah. Like Olive Garden, American. Outback, they say they're Australian, but American. P.F. Chang's, American. I think they had someone come in and they were given the instruction,

Outback wants to go down under. And there were an American. They didn't know what it meant. Oh, outback wants to go down there. So their marketing guy was just like, oh, how forward of that? Outback, sure, I guess we'll take it this way. And they send out these little things that are let's be friends with benefits, which is for the rewards program.

They had a coaster that said, hey, mate, you're looking hot. Cool off with the wallaby darned. And then also on that same coaster, it just says, no rules, just right. Like, I think Outback is like really pushing like, hey man, come to Outback. We'll swing with you. Bring your wife. Wow. swap. Yeah, Outback is just getting real, real horned up. Wow. So they're trying to be like a

swingers club. Yeah. I think that's what Outback's doing. They brought in a guy who just misunderstood the assignment. He had like this really huge mustache, a Hawaiian shirt on, like open Hawaiian shirt. Hairy chest, gold chain. Sandals. Absolutely. And has like a name like Chip. Yeah. Yeah. I think for sure Outback is trying to. to get in our pants, only because one guy misunderstood the down under assignment. I think that's what's going on over there. Okay, Garrett, are you ready for the main event of this episode? We've got fuddys, fudruckers.

Oh, yeah, fuddies. Versus Applebee's, the number three seed versus the number six seed. We drove all the way up to San Francisco to try out fudruckers again. And this is the only fuddies. left in the entire state of California. So we were committed. That's how much we've historically loved this burger. It's worth driving for the podcast while we have other things to do in the area.

Yeah. So Fuddruckers, we started with just the basic burger, right? That's what we got to do. It's a round one matchup. And I think Fud Ruckers is the perfect place for that because you kind of build it to your liking. Yeah, they give you bun, they give you meat. Then it's up to you to go to the salad wagon and,

get all the condiments you want. We went pretty light on this burger because specifically I wanted to taste the bun. When we went for the February Patreon episode, I remember Fuddruckers blowing me away and just kind of my memory of it. I put that newfound respect back on the Fudrucker's name because you walk in, you see the buns being freshly made, you get the smell and the burger was very well made. I didn't have that same experience this time. It was still good. You know, we treated it pretty lightly. I just put a little bit of onion on there, a little ketchup just to have some moisture, you know, something just so it's not a dry burger.

I'm going to be honest, the bun did not shine through this time the way that it did the first time. This was still very good. Yeah. I really did like this. But if I'm being honest with you, compared to the other burgers we've talked about this episode, this isn't even. in the sevens for me. Wow. I'm at 6.84.

Whoa. So still not awful. A full point higher, more than a full point higher than Bob's big boy. But yeah, I wanted more out of this. I wanted, like, the bun just, that's what I was there for and I didn't get what I wanted. I don't know what happened with your bun, but I had a prime bun experience. Did you really? I did.

It was soft and airy, but it was really crisp. and buttery. Really? I got a crunch. We had the same thing. I don't know how our bun. We split the burger. We split the burger.

I don't know how our buns. Did I get the grilled half? Yeah, maybe. Did you notice crispness on your bun part? No. And I thought the meat, as usual, wonderfully seasoned and juicy. So this is exactly the greatness I expected. I'm going to give this an 8.01.

Okay. Well, I guess that carries my score a little bit. So Fudd Ruckers, you're going to go up against Applebee's with a 7.4-3. That's strong. That's higher than Outback and Islands just got. So, yeah, I mean, I guess you and I differed. I mean, I won't say like substantially.

I didn't dislike this burger. It didn't capture the magic that I had when we went a few months ago. I feel like the only difference between ours was the bun. Yeah. If you would have grabbed the other half, you probably would have had a better experience. Maybe you would have had a worse one. So Fuddruckers, your competition is Applebee's. The number six seed really impressed me.

Me too. I had no idea I was going to do this. No, well, because you got the whiskey bacon burger back when we did our proper Applebee's episode. And I gave that a 5.00. You were not a fan. No. I mean, I remember that. It's right in the middle.

It's mediocre, but you want good. My biggest problem before was banana-flavored barbecue sauce? What? Not intentionally. It just resembled that. I do want to state that they're not advertising a banana flavored barbecue burger. It was your interpretation of the taste, which I don't agree with, by the way, having had it, but that's not the burger that we're talking about here in the first round. No, it is not. In the first round, they literally just on their menu, it's just the classic. It's the classic burger. We got it. On it, it had red onion, tomato, lettuce, Pickles?

Did it have like a mayo or a sauce or anything? I didn't notice. I didn't notice the whole thing. It was really good. If it did, it was subtle. But man, this was an amazing, classic, first round basic burger. I feel like this is the absolute pinnacle of your backyard family barbecue meat. I was shocked.

I really was. I took a bite and I just kind of looked at you and I was like, This isn't right. This is just Applebee's. Okay, the edges of the meat were crispy, too. It's like the bun was perfect texture. Oh, my gosh. All of the vegetables were supremely fresh and crispy.

Now, we went at lunchtime, and we were there right when they opened. So we had to be the first order in. Oh, yeah, we were, for sure. So everything was just presumably clean grill. They had the time. All the pieces were in place for them to attend to this burger. bet they used that time. Yeah.

We were the only people there and it took forever. Imagine having bad service when the servers outnumber the patrons in the restaurant. And they were short-staffed. It was like three people working in front of house. There was like a manager, a bartender,

two waiters. Yeah, when one of them was training the other one. Yeah, and then we got ignored for a while. The manager finally came over. He was like, was someone taking your drink order? Oh, did you get manager vibes from ponytail guy? Yeah,

it set it on his name tag. Oh. I don't take an adult male with a ponytail that seriously, so I just didn't assume that he had what it took to become a manager. Hey, whether or not he has what it takes to become a manager, his Warhammer game is sublime. Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, at least do the respectable bun like you do. When you do a ponytail, I'm like, something's wrong. I need to talk to him. Yeah, no. When I have a ponytail, something is wrong. It's a red flag. I was like, oh no, Garrett's been having the voices again. But yet,

this basic burger blew me away for a first round entry, 7.46. We're in like the high good to almost great category. And this is with almost nothing on it. Every single element of this burger was great.

This is simple yet elegant. I'm going to give this a 7.69. So that puts Applebee's in the first round with a 7.58. Wow! That is a good, solid entry from Applebee's. Color me impressed.

I have not even, I won't say low expectations. I had middling expectations. This far surpassed it. This would get me back and doing Applebee's. Oh, for sure. This definitely would. Yeah. And just like that, Applebee's upsets Fuddruckers. Wow.

Okay. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't expect that to turn out that. The number six seed over the number three seed, we've still got two more matches to conclude in the coming weeks, but we've already got one upset. I've never in my life until this been thinking and said, I want that Applebee's burger again.

Like, there's a world's first. Well, we had three Applebee's burgers. So we get to talk about their next round burger, which is going to be the Whiskey Bacon Burger. So that will be their entry into the second round burger. the second round, and that does it for all of our matches in this episode. And you know what, Garrett, I got to say, we ate 15 burgers between these five places. We got three at each place, split them in half, thank God.

So seven and a half burgers each. But I guess the average American does eat three hamburgers per meal. As we know. Per meal, yeah, it's what we're going to have to do to finish this. And I got to say, it's way too much. This is Oh yeah Our burger intake this month for you

To give you the content that you deserve Is in fact Way too much Well that does it for the intro episode Of September Thanks for joining us Enjoy the little song that we had made once again And actually you can go to our social media pages

TikTok Instagram at Fine Dining Podcast Or our YouTube I made a music video for the Septemberger theme song with our composer James McAnnelly, who does a bunch of our music. You can check him out at Ramshackle music. But go check it out because it is ridiculous. We're rocking out on the surface of a burger patty, and it just brings me joy.

Anyways, we'll see you next time. Have a fine day. No, no. Have the best day this month. Oh, yeah, that's right. We're looking for good stuff. Yeah, have a good day. No, I was repeating the thing that you said.

I just changed it because the thing you said. Have the good day. Have a bud day. Have a bud day. What's a bud day? Have a bidet. Have a bidet. Have a bidet.

Clean up that burger mess. Burgers and die. One burger leaves. Take a look at the men. Nothing would be. So fire up that grill and fry up your soul. We're looking for something that's better than meteor. For some perfection of the bun

Just be the best burger that you can be Somewhere between heaven and ecstasy I can see that hunger it's in your life You're going for glory with the side of the phrase Cessette Burger It continues We still need the perfect fight The search continues

Like and subscribe The search continues Our journey did not conclude The mother weapon search continues Write us in iTunes Review And hey While you're at it

Why don't you go ahead and make it five stars Come on TikTok The same on Instagram Socials at Fine Dines We have Fine Dining pot Buy our t-shirts

Then And don't forget, you can always suggest where we go next Okay The Fine Day