Fine Dining - Texas Roadhouse (Part One: Eat Deets) feat. Michael Moore

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

Stay tuned to the end: new outro song!! Michael is joined by friend and powerhouse of a man, Michael Moore (no relation to the filmmaker/documentarian of the same name) to dine at Texas Roadhouse The restaurant started as a spot in a mall in Indiana, so it was neither a roadhouse nor Texan, but that didn't stop owner W. Kent Taylor from building an empire after giving up on opening a Colorado-themed restaurant Learn all about the history of the chain dubbed the "Loudest Restaurant in America" in this week's Eat Deets Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius XIV has had it with the mistreatment of corporations: they're people too, dammit! Hear Michael & Michael's first impressions of the place, from the wall of veterans to the lack of peanuts on the floor Michael Moore compiles a few very catfish-centric Yelp reviews about this Texas Roadhouse in the middle of nowhere, almost halfway between Los Angeles and Las Vegas More to come next week!   Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (November had a New York-themed episode as we pitted Joe's Pizza vs. Famous Original Ray's), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send in your Texas Roadhouse stories at [e-mail].   Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!   Next week on "Fine" Dining: Texas Roadhouse (Part Two: Review)! Michael Moore returns for the second part of the episode, we'll review the restaurant's dancing servers, the delicious rolls, and there's even a 3-part horror-themed audiodrama throughout Part Two! Ever work at Texas Roadhouse? Send your stories to [e-mail]. Totally Not Sponsored by: Harrison Augustine 💸 Arrylius XIV

From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. Hello and welcome to the FINDEINING podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I'm your host, Michael Ornellis, and I'm on a mission. I'm looking for that perfect 5.00 out of 10 that litmus test that you can use to evaluate whether something is good or bad.

Something right in the middle. What's the bar? So far, it's Applebee's sitting at a 5.02, but that's not quite perfectly mediocre. So the search is ongoing. Now, I go to these chain restaurants because, of course, that's where mediocrity resides. And I'm evaluating them based on their atmosphere, based on their service, and based on their food. And this week, I was joined by an equally mediocre guy. My friend, my buddy, my pal, Michael Moore,

not the director, not the documentarian, just another guy named Michael Moore. Yes, I think more handsome. I, yeah. Then you. No, I think more handsome. I, yeah. Then you. No, I'm not conceding that point. Well, I mean, this is a show about mediocrity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, you know, I'm a handsome dude. I, I, I feel like this is, you know, appropriate for both of us. You know, we're in that 5.0. I mean, maybe not as good as Applebees, but I think like riding them up. This is gonna be a solo podcast for the rest of the episode. Ha ha ha. Thanks for joining me.

You took a bit of a trek with me. We went out to Texas Roadhouse yesterday. Oh, God. And the closest one was about an hour and a half away. It was a long drive. Yes. And you endured it with me. So thank you. I know. I felt like Lawrence just going through the desert, you know, just covered in sand and,

I mean, it was pretty miserable because I had to, you know, ride with you. Are you gonna do that the entire? No, I'm cutting that. Okay. If I'm gassy, it's not gonna stay in. Just don't acknowledge it. It will cut it. Okay. But now I have to leave it. Sure. And we'll get more into the bodily functions later in the episode.

That's kind of the... I don't want that to be a part of my podcast and yet every episode it is. And I think that's my lot in life going to these restaurants. Yeah, that's exactly it. You're going to all these places. You know, it is a given, but I will say there are some important updates in that department. So that's why I'm bringing it up. You know, we're not going to be graphic, but no, of course not, but I am setting it up for the payoff later. Wow. You are like filmmaker Michael. Yeah. Yeah. Just shoving microphones and the managers at

Texas Roadhouse saying that that's what you did. You're trying to find the conspiracy going on. Yeah. Yeah. Tell us the truth through the American people. Yeah. All right. Stop saying. I can tell you're going to force saying America a bunch. I was I was gonna wait later to say this but honestly like the budget that you have allotted for your Eagle sound effect. Yeah you're gonna go into debt. I just recovered from my red robin episode and it is months later so yeah oh god. I'm dining party of two. All right well we've been talking too long, our table is ready, we'll get to it. These walls have growth signs Mid-Nack, cowboy hat, good luck at Autograph guitar, some crap from your city Behold the trusty of mediocrity I'm dining

Yes, I'm dining I'm dining Two ledgers on the sign are shining Neon flickering irregular timing Identify the perfect vibe How the ten I'm dining I'm dining

First impressions Okay, so before we can even talk about the parking lot, I did have a while in the car with you And you had a bit of a panic I did, yes. So I preemptively brought a giant thing of thumbs because you knew. Yeah, I knew this was going to be a tumultuous meal. Yeah, because like any other person in the country, you know, their nearest Texas Broadhouse, like 15, 20 minutes away.

I appreciate you saying in the country, instead of name dropping the country. I appreciate that. America. No. Damn it. So I preemptively brought some, because like that's an hour and a half back. And that's a lot for that kind of considered.

Yeah, you're being considerate of what I have to sit next to. I'm just looking out for my will being as well. So I was trying to give you the benefit of altruism, but I guess not. But does Tom's help with gas? I just thought it helped with like, just stomach ache and. So you're still gassy, you just don't feel pain.

Right. Yeah. But then you didn't have the Tom's. Right. And it's not the thought that counts in this. I mean, we could talk about the drive home last impressions. It was just so much like, oh my god, oh my god. I the amount of times I just heard that and then just like a, and then a,

I heard that that sequence. Oh, I got it. It's over. I heard that sequence a solid like dozen I've got it's over. I heard that sequence. A solid like dozen times. Oh God, oh God. No apology. But.

So yes, I did bring the thumbs, but the problem was that I accidentally left them in my car. Right. So I didn't have them in your car as we were going through the desert to find them. So it was moot. Once we actually got to Texas Roadhouse, it could not have been more of a parody of itself if it tried. It was literally, I opened the car door and I just hear, like stadium country,

stadium country, guitar blaring, and I was just like, they know what they are. Yeah. And I gotta give that to them. Yeah, self-awareness is a very useful characteristic. Yeah, but like- Somebody's personality. And the parking lot was packed.

Yeah, we got there at five o'clock on the dot. Yeah. And every space was taken. And they also had- Okay, we eventually found a space, five handicap spots, a veteran spot, three to go spots just sitting in front, all of those packed, just like, yes, because I will commit stolen valor for good parking. Yeah. That's a joke. I respect. Yeah. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. Actually inside you walk in and they have a tribute that it's just as TXRH, obviously Texas Roadhouse Hero.

And then a bunch of photos of individuals in their military uniform and then a little Etsy style chalkboard beneath it, we heart our local veterans. Send us a picture of your veteran. Yes. Which makes it sound like a pet. Yeah, wake him up. Wake him up from his nap. Yeah. Take a picture of him and send it to Texas Roadhouse. He's like looking at the

camera confused because he just woke up. Yeah. But first you actually have to get it printed off at CVS developed and then mail it to us. Well, it specifically send us a picture of your veteran at s*** at Texas Roadhouse.com. Oh, I thought you were gonna say like a fax number. Yeah, that is so anti-faceted.

To access a picture of your veteran. Yeah. Yeah. I also noticed so much space for waiting, like a six flags amount of space for waiting. Because the parking lot was full, clearly they preemptively know, oh, this is the hot spot. This was so far out of LA, this was in ReAlto, which for those of you wondering, basically its biggest claim to fame is that it happens to be between LA and Vegas.

Yes. And a non-determinate amount away from both of those destinations. Yeah. And like the elevation was high, like almost in the mountains. So it was a little alarming. Because I mean, I'm from the south. And I'm used to like trees everywhere. So it was wild to get out of the car and just see the restaurant

and then sky. Like it was just the one thing. And nothing. So it's like a process packed because it's the only thing to do. Yeah. For miles around unless you'd prefer Cracker Barrel. And those are the two things. Yes. I mean, all that's around there is a Cracker Barrel and a close K-Mart. Yeah. But talking about Cracker Barrel, because the Cracker Barrel was across the street, when we got there, they told us that the weight would be an hour.

No, well, not the Cracker Barrel. The text is right now. Oh, yeah, yeah. And so you were trying hour. No, not the cracker barrel. The Texas roadhouse. Oh, yeah, yeah. And so you were trying to be like, do we go to cracker barrel? And I'm like, I'm not calling an audible. I invited you to Texas Roadhouse. Yeah. And we went at 5 p.m. on a Saturday night. You expect a little bit of a weight, but not an hour would have felt tragic. Yeah. But especially like that we had already driven two hours through the desert.

Get here. And now, don't hours through the desert to get here. And now, don't see through the desert as though we were like strapped for water. I mean, we were tumsless, but like we weren't like on donkey back. Sure. Yeah. We weren't like, you know, donkey hoday going through and fighting windmills, but, you know, but I was a little insensed of like before we even sit down I have invested three hours into this two hours Luckily, yeah, that's not how it happened. I they kind of

It's like reverse edging. They just kind of they give you an hour wait And then they literally called for us four minutes later. Yes, and if that and Wonder if it's like a strategy to like dash your hopes and then make you excited. They bring you into the TXRH. Yes, make you feel like that they're going above and beyond. Yeah. Like, don't worry.

Like, we pull some strings, we're able to get you and your idiot friends in. The host stand even referred to us as lucky. They were like, you guys are so lucky. Like, almost in like a passive aggressive. And you know what was funny is that I saw people like waiting that were in smaller parties than us. But somehow.

So we got to leapfrog because we had a party of five, right? That's correct. Yeah. Which is even better. That made me a little happy. Because they're not gonna give a a party of four a six top. Yeah, if they have five people waiting, right. Oh, man. Yeah, we did look out. I'm so glad that our party ended up coming as is like the full five people sure

um, and let me see like anything else. I mean, me just me on galore. Yes. For your signs, they had a cactus blossom, like they're blooming onion knockoff in me on. Yeah. And I want it. Yeah, I'm just hanging up in your place and like there's another one that said Budweiser and steak. Like, all right, you've nailed it. What do we have now?

You know what you are. Yeah. You're you're blooming on your knockoff, your steak and your and your beer. Yeah. And then I've been to Texas Roadhouse plenty of times. I have no distinct memory of if I have. Okay. If I have it, it was forever ago. So let me set up like the typical Texas Roadhouse experience. So you go in, talk to the hostess, whatever. And on the floor is just a crunch. Yeah, just a thick layer of trash and peanut shells, right? Where they have a giant barrel where you just grab a handful of peanuts, you eat them and you're like, and not a clean hand. No, no, the dirty are the better. Yeah. And like all the peanuts haven't been washed or anything like they have like sawdust all over the fair. Who's sitting there

washing peanuts? Yeah. So you grab them and you eat the peanuts and you're like, you know what? I don't want to throw these away. I can't be trouble with that. And then you just throw the shells off or where you play it as it lies basically. And they sweep the floor about once a week. Mm-hmm. And then they burn it. I don't know what they do. I guess that's how you get rid of peanut shells. But in a post-COVID world, the peanut policies change.

Yeah. Like I went in. I was like, wow, this is very clean. There are only a few peanut shells on the ground. I didn't even notice peanuts. There was a container that was empty, but was clearly there for peanuts. I think that I was just hyper aware and looking for the peanuts, you know, where do they keep their peanuts at? I didn't notice until leaving. Yes. Leaving right next to the door, there was a box full of bagged peanuts. Texas Roadhouse branded

peanuts. Yes. I took one to go. I threw it up on the Chachki of mediocrity, the scoreboard that I used for all these restaurants. Yeah. And now Texas Roadhouse peanuts are gonna be forever associated with the scoring of rest of chain restaurants. Yes. So I wonder what health hazard came in the way of them ending their peanut policy?

Well, it was either COVID or peanut allergies, but it definitely seems like a place that does not care about any food sensitivities whatsoever. But you want to know more about just in general, the history of this place. Uh, yeah. I mean, I don't. I mean, I don't. I don't sound indifferent.

I mean, I don't, but you know, you could tell me. All right. Well, let me go. What's the investing history of Texas Roadhouse? Oh, we'll talk numbers. Okay. As we get into this week's eatery details, aka, eat eats. Content warning. This segment contains a mention of suicide. And if you'd like to skip it, skip from 30 minutes and five seconds for about 30 seconds. Enjoy your eat deets. Eat deets? So as loyal listeners of the podcast know, my mom listens to every single episode

of the show and during season one when eat deets was known as Resty Facts Roundup, we were rounding up a bunch of restaurant facts and we had to whip them into place to do so. But she found that whip noise to be too abrasive for her listening pleasure. So then with Eat Deeds, I was like, great, this will be easy and I made that sound effect that you just heard. Eat Deeds? But she's also like, eh, but I don't like the sound of people chewing. So then in the Katz episode, I declared we are now entering, eat Deeds, the easy listening era, the sound bite of easy listening. And now my mom's on the fence about that. So, I don't know what to do.

I'll probably still use that one, but just for this episode, Michael, what sound do you think is most appropriate for a Texas Roadhouse to punctuate each new eat-deat? I mean, honestly, it is the whip. I think that's the whip. It's the most appropriate. For Texas Road. All right, hit me. W Kent Taylor opened the first Texas Road House

in Clarksville, Indiana in 1993. I family live in Indiana and every time I go there, it just gets more redneck and redneck. So honestly, I don't know where Clarks fill is, but that does not surprise me. Well, it's right across the Ohio River from Louisville, Kentucky, which is where the headquarters for Texas Roadhouse is. So they're actually a Kentucky-based company who opened their first location in Indiana, but the founder initially wanted to make a Colorado themed restaurant.

And the first location was located inside of a mall. So not only are you a fake Texan, you're a fake roadhouse. Since then, the company has grown to over 600 locations in 49 states and nearly 40 international locations in 10 foreign countries. And Texas does have the highest concentration of locations. They have 56 in the state of Texas. Interesting. So that's like that Australia has the largest number of outbackstakes. Concentration about backstakes. That is not true. The difference between Texas and Australia is Texas is like someone celebrating us. Fuck it. Yeah, let's, let's embrace, like El Paso alone has four

Texas Roadhouse locations. Yeah, people from Texas love that they're from Texas. I'm from Texas. I know. I'm okay that I'm from Texas. I mean, I was also born in Chicago. I kind of identify both ways. Mm-hmm.

Texas Roadhouse serves 300,000 meals per day. I have nothing to say about that. Oh, you're going to get more facts and figures that are going to blow your stomach. Okay. Well, let's talk about that later. On average, restaurants can fit about 300 people. Achilles are in Applebee's is about 200. So a little bit bigger. The average location serves 5,000 guests a week. 44% of the menu is steak. Pfft. I don't know why I find that so funny. It's just, it's a big swing.

Yeah, it's not even like, I mean, at roadhouses, are they known for steak? Oh, just like the concept of a roadhouse, I don't really know. Okay. They only serve lunch on the weekends. Oh yeah, that's right, because I had asked you, hey, is there any way we can just do the lunch?

And you're like, no, they open at three, just wild. Yeah, yeah. If you're not familiar with K&W, that's like a cafeteria, specifically like for the Jerry Atrix and they, so am I mom? So a nursing home cafeteria basically? Yes, it is nursing home food.

And I've told my mom many times, like she needs to get a fake ID if she wants to continue. Eating there, like, you know. To make her older. Yeah. Okay. Cause they only allow in 60 plus or whatever. Wait, is that actually true? No, that's just what I just their demo

Yeah, yeah totally it's like loobies. Do you know loobies? No, I don't they're I mean there are cafeteria in Texas It's kind of the same thing got you you go in and it's like a sad nursing home at Thanksgiving That's kind of a vibe. Yeah, we're like there's decorations, but like the amount of life alert bracelets you see is staggering but like the amount of life alert bracelets you see is staggering. Yeah. Texas Roadhouse gives out eight million pounds of free peanuts per year. I have a feeling that that figure has changed, changed post-COVID, but yeah, and that's about $20 million of peanuts. That's insane.

It's kind of like the, the rotisserie chicken, or Costco, like that they intense. Did they give it away? Well, they don't give it away, but they keep it cheap so that you're more inclined to buy more stuff. Um, that Costco, yeah. That's why it's always $5.

The Texas Roadhouse meat cutters hand cut every stake in 34 degree Fahrenheit coolers and cut an average of $1 million of meat each year per store. Wow, per store. Yeah, it's a lot. And considering that they've got over 600 locations, it's $600 million of meat cut. That's insane.

Each year, yeah. Famously, they claim everything is made from scratch in a house, but technically that's not true. The steak fries come frozen, and they serve craft mac and sh**. Well, I would believe that, after our meal, that it was made from scratch. Whatever scratch is like dust and, you know,

saw dust. Whatever's on the countertop, and you do that hand motion where you swipe it into your waiting hand underneath, that's what they cook with. That's where they keep the peanut shells. I just realized like they use them to to to pad the food. Yeah. Yeah. The founder Kent Taylor met Willie Nelson at a concert and the two hit it off. Now each Texas Roadhouse restaurant has a Willie's Corner, a miniature museum dedicated

to the career of Willie Nelson. Wait, each location? Each location. I saw no such Willie's corner, but to be fair, I didn't travel to all of the corners of the restaurant. Yeah. So I will take them at their word that there was one, but I saw no such thing. Well, when you decide to drive two hours back to Cracker Barrel, uh, stop by the Texas Roadhouse.

Get some peanuts. One museum ticket, please? Yeah, where's Willie's corner at? Yeah. In 2012, Consumer Reports magazine named Texas Roadhouse, the loudest restaurant in America. I am not surprised with the many distractions that were the restaurant, which we'll get to later.

I mean, considering the stadium country guitar waling when you get out of your car, starts your experience, and you know, it's funny is that they don't even have speakers outside. That's just from inside the restaurant. You hear the, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down. Great impersonation of the of stadium country. Yeah, yeah. The stakes are cheap. For example, an eight-ounce stake at Texas Roadhouse costs 1549. The same at Outback cost 1899 and at Black Angus in eight-ounce Sirloyne State cost 2399. The chain often sells stakes for below-going market value, cutting

into potential profits, but knowing it is securing more volume. Because they're so loud. Texas Roadhouse is the biggest steakhouse in America by sales. In 2021, it earned a whopping $3.717 billion in sales, while the next largest chain outback was a distant follower with $2.621 billion. So they're basically 50% more about back sales. That's pretty wild. Beef makes up about 45% of cost of goods sold at Texas Roadhouse compared to about 33% at competitors. To protect against beef price hikes, the restaurant signs 24-month term beef contracts with suppliers.

Logan's Roadhouse only signs 6 to 12 month contracts with its suppliers. So they're basically able to lock in low prices for longer and then as the price is high, they can keep them low and look better compared to their competitors. Gotcha. Have you been to a Logan's? I have not, but there is one not that far from the Texas Roadhouse that we went to. Oh, that's good. Do you have you been to Logan's? Yeah. Is it better? Much. Is it really? I think so, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I think that Logan's is much better. So, I mean, that's the thing, I don't know if you want to go since it's kind of good food, but I do enjoy it. I mean, they're a chain restaurant, they're totally eligible. I want to master a steakhouse. Everything's out the window. I don't care what's good or what's bad.

I'm looking for mediocrity. That doesn't mean I'm gonna find it every week, but I'll go somewhere on a hunch. Yeah, and you know, propping up local restaurants and, you know, all national... All national restaurants. Literally every single one I'm doing is not a mom and a pup. So here's the one statistic that I do wanna know.

Like all these are interesting, and I'm like, the one that I do wanna know know about what was the the blue man onion rip off the cactus blossom the cactus blossom how many of those do they sell and then how many of those are vomited out I think it's a good thing. Oh, you're just talking about the compare like what percentage is expelled Yeah vertically. Yeah, vertically. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh at certain times and are often monitored by secret shoppers to ensure compliance.

Oh my God. Okay. Have you heard of the show? And definitely I have a lot of thoughts about the dancing. So have you heard of a show called Mystery Diners? No. Okay. So it is, I think it only ran for two seasons, but it is TV show, YouTube series, TV show. Okay. On like, I don't even think it was good enough for food network. It was like on Destination America or something like that. Love it. And it is these restaurants that contact this guy who is charismatic as cardboard. And they are trying to set up sting operations to catch like their managers or the employees doing things that are like against company policy. Now you would think like spitting in food or using or looking at your cell phone under the counter because your wife's in labor, but you're on the clock.

Well, honestly, they are significantly dumber. They're like one that I saw was this guy being accused of rigging like bingo night for his buddies. Yeah, for his buddies. You know, so they get free drinks. That's actually great. And then like there's something called the chunkies challenge at some restaurant where like a giant sandwich and apparently they thought that one of the employees

was helping people eat it so they would get like a, you know, like a gift certificate. I would never partake in anything that was called the chunky chef. Yeah. And what they do is that they hire 50 actors to be like the guests in the restaurant and they put up a thousand cameras in the restaurant.

So it's like a flash mob basically. It is a flash mob, very serious thing operation. And then like all the crew is in the back watching like they're taking out some terrorist organization, you know, but it's, you know, we're all just gathered around monitors and they're like, yes, yeah, sitting in SEAL team six. Yeah. And instead it's about, oh, I think he might be taking some of the ch**s home with him. Like, I mean, it's so stupid. He walks out of the restaurant immediately

into the back of a cop car in Cuffs. They just, we got him. They tack, tackle him. Yeah. So like the fact that you mentioned that they hire secret shoppers, yeah. Secret service members to make sure that I did secret service members.

I said secret shoppers. According to a Texas Roadhouse training manual, female servers are forbidden from wearing makeup with loud colors. How, what? I don't know. It's the loudest restaurant in America. Yeah, so weird that they have that one.

I'm like a bright yellow, okay? Yeah. They have a blooming onion knockoff called a cactus blossom. Oh, is this the statistic of how many are? No, no. But apparently you can ask for pulled pork on top. Why? Because I hate my body.

You might know this, but steaks are weighed before cooking, so a six-ounce steak will not actually be six ounces on the plate, but one customer got pissed he was served a small steak. He actually pulled out a digital scale from his toolbox in the restaurant and weighed it in at 3.5 ounces. Texas Roadhouse gave him a complimentary actual six-ounce steak after he posted the video. I see a drug dealer, he just carries around like a scale with them.

Yeah. And all the comments online were like split between people calling him a Karen and other saying he was holding Texas Roadhouse accountable. Oh absolutely. This pinching and diming, if that's the expression. Pinching and diming. Yeah, we all know pinching and diming is. Yeah.

There's an unofficial Texas Roadhouse roll challenge. The winning video on Twitter seems to be a guy that ate 92 rolls in one sitting, which is 23 baskets. God, I ate one roll today, one leftover roll, and I told you when you arrived, I feel heavy. over roll and I told you when you arrived I feel heavy from one and how many it was 90 92 rolls and ones that are 23 baskets man that is they brought us four baskets for five people and I was overwhelmed that is four bottles of thumbs now I want to talk a little bit about the founder Kent Taylor designed the restaurant concept on a cocktail napkin, which I don't know. I feel like it's just a thing that you hear about. It's so funny because Bob Dylan

wrote a lot of his greatest lyrics on cocktail napkins. So I'm glad that like, it's the same tool. I don't care what you wrote it on. Like, it doesn't matter. You had the idea, whatever. Yeah, and that's more accurate. It's not a great idea. For example, this is just an idea.

It's an idea. It's an idea that was executed. Yes. And that was it. Earlier in his career, he managed restaurants for Benagons and KFC. Innovations he adopted at KFC stores like Hot Wings only got him in trouble.

This is a quote KFC was too bureaucratic for him. Because when I think of KFC, I think of orderly process. Yeah, it's like Congress, you know, there's just gridlock every day. Company lore has it that Taylor was turned down more than 80 times while trying to raise money. He once tried unsuccessfully to chase down basketball legend Larry Bird in an airport to pitch him. Like imagine just being Larry Bird and the guys like Larry, Larry Texas Roadhouse. He's like, yeah, what to invest or just like, hey, can you come to my horrible restaurant?

I mean, I assume to invest. Looking for startup funds. He's like, oh, can you come to my horrible restaurant? I mean, I assume to invest looking for startup funds. He's like, oh, you're a rich basketball player. Yeah. Years later, he founded a sports bar chain called Bubba's 33 and a fast food chicken joint called Jaggers. Both only have a few locations currently. Wait, so there's two food chains named Bubba? There's Bubba's 33 and then Bubba's...

Bubba Gump. Bubba Gump. Yeah. Right. In March 2021, Taylor died by suicide. He had been suffering for months from extreme COVID-19 symptoms and had a really bad tonight is which was apparently a contributing factor. Oh wow. I'm a little sad now. It is very sad. It is. Yeah. Not quite as sad as how I felt after eating the food. I would argue maybe sadder. Jesus. Three separate people have sued Texas Roadhouse

after injuring their kneecaps, slipping on peanut shells on the floor. See, I'm telling you, like, it's just shit everywhere. One of them was awarded $43,000 in the lawsuit. And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor. Greetings. It's me once again, Harrison, Augustine, flying money watermoji, really is the 14th, a name that really slides off the tongue.

And speaking of sliding, what are these people doing? You slip and slide on a few peanut shells and you're suing the corporations? Corporations are people too, mind their feelings. If I had a rare gem for every time I heard corporations victimized, I'd have a meteorite's worth of precious metals. But alas, I just have an actual meteorite. It's in a display case in my bedroom that no one but me gets to enjoy. I outbid the Smithsonian for it.

But now, if you're too feeble-footed and you fall in a restaurant, that's on you. Just go get a bionic knee replacement like a normal person. Don't be a Karen, a phrase that's offensive to my actual mother Karen. My sweet mom, currently recovering from a separated shoulder she got from poking an airline employee in the chest while calmly screaming, do you know who I am? But in her defense, how do you not recognize a woman who's set the Guinness World Record for most appearances in do not serve this customer court boards? And that's worldwide. Anyways, I must be going. I'm packing a suitcase full of cash

that I'm going to conveniently misplace on the steps of the Supreme Court. Tutolun. A woman sued Texas Roadhouse after a manager tried to cover her breast with a napkin as she breastfed her baby. She sued for emotional pain and suffering plus the cost of therapy. Two days after posting a Facebook rant about it, a group of 50 nursing mothers staged a nursing at the restaurant in protest. So they stormed the Texas Road House. Yeah. And they all just breastfed.

Oh, yeah. That's interesting protest. Yeah. You know, I went back to Chuck E. Sh**s and there was a woman breastfeeding at, you know, those like photo strip booths. Yes. There was one that it, no curtain like it wasn't a private area. Yeah. She was not looking for privacy. She was looking for photos. Sure. She literally put the quarter in and was posing for photos while breastfeeding her child.

Hmm. She should have done it on like one of the little kids car rides or we like put in a quarter and the motion is basically nothing. Yes. Yeah. Also like the helicopter that goes up and down down that would have been nice. I think capturing it for Posterity and for history like hey Jamie look what I did for you Yeah A veteran service dog who worked in Afghanistan got some free meals at a Texas Roadhouse But apparently some of the comments online to this article were calling for the restaurant to be shut down because of a dog eating off a fork the restaurant to be shut down because of a dog eating off a fork. This is a place that respects its veterans, but clearly the clientele doesn't.

Yeah. One server wore different hairstyles and tracked her tips. If you had to guess, hair style, that gets the most tips. Oh, uh, ponytail, high ponytail. Okay. The high pony. That was the winning horse. And that doesn't for this week High ponytail. Okay. The high pony. That was the winning horse. And that does it for this week's... E-D-E-S! We need a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a, a little, a little, a little, a, a little, Give us those complaints while you literally win and die.

Yelp! Alright, this is Yelp from Strangers, the segment where I go to Yelp and read out our favorite 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 star Yelp reviews about the very Texas Roadhouse that we went to. And Michael, I want to start us off right in the middle. Okay. I want to see someone who just had a middling time. Right. What are they getting out of a Texas roadhouse? Yeah.

Three star with you. This is from Alex P. One year ago, he's done 234 Yelp reviews. And in that time, has only made one friend on Yelp. Kind of like Taylor Swift only following like one or two people. Exactly the same. It's exactly this is basically Taylor Swift writing a Yelp video. Yeah. First time here and went with four friends, discovered the Texas

Roadhouse in Corona that does stake great in bold now. Catfish. Amazing and great service. So really really draw your eye to catfish here With that being the measuring stick realto cone up way short Food was okay not great service was very subpar Five of us went with two kids. We all ordered and the meals came out in four separate deliveries The female kid getting her meal last,

the female kid, like, do you mean your daughter? Your niece, I don't know what it was, the female kid. There's a lot of personal things in this review. The female kid getting her meal last after one us asked the server to bring her before his. That's a right. Is she better get hers before our son does that was a labyrinthian sentence structure.

Didn't happen that way. They mentioned they had only been opened nine days. So much room for improvement will go to Corona till this one improves if they do. Why not just stick to the corona one? Yeah, you seem to like the corona one. Yeah, it's just like the gold standard. Just go there.

Yeah. Thanks, Alex P. One star review. So there's going to be a through line. Oh, yeah. With all of these reviews, because like, on a lot of them, there was one specific item that was mentioned quite a bit.

So this is... If only we could highlight it in bold. Yeah, so here is a one-star review. Okay. So this is from six months ago from Cassandra. Worst fried catfish I have ever eaten, and their mac and sh** was dried out straight from the box mac and sh**. Was that the whole review?

That was it. Short to the point. So she really did not like the catfish. The previous person Alex P all about the Corona location catfish. Yeah.

Real though not so much. Yes. And it's just it's very varied opinions about this specific item. 4 star review. Well, let's keep it going then. I'll go back into positivity now.

A 4 star review from Rochelle H. one year ago. So excited we have a Texas throat. Wait, did you bold it? What? Did I bold it? The word catfish is in bold. Did you do like a highlight on your, on your did you bold it? What? Did I bold it? The word catfish is in bold. Did you do like a highlight on your, on your search? I think so, yeah, because like it kept coming up so frequently that I was like, let's just look up and see how many times catfish is in.

So the fact that catfish is bolded every time in every review, that's you're doing. Okay. Yeah. All right. So excited. We have a Texas roadhouse so close to home we frequently go and enjoy the onion blossom extra crispy catfish we get the four piece catfish dinner just so we can have leftovers another day all in caps we have yet to explore more on the menu. Just the catfish. So the one star first.

We've never had the rolls. Yeah. No peanuts. Yes. So the one star and the four star people, they've only eaten the catfish. Once we tasted these, we were hooked. The steaks are huge. Love the buttery rolls.

Wait, you have tasted other things on the menu. Had the rolls. Someone ordered the steak unless you're looking at another table and just like they're big. No, no, steaks are big over there. Usually a long wait, but worth it and trying open table. All right, four stars. So yes, the through line, if you weren't able to catch was catfish, because I was just

so entranced that like 40% of the menu, 44% of the menu is steak. If I remember, like, it's an entire page of the menu and that people saw that and just went, nope, people went, turn the page. What else though? Yeah, and that's so many people, you know, let's go to a steak house and get catfish. Out of all things.

I mean, they're kind of catfishing us as a steakhouse. Sure, it's by offering other things. It's like getting green beans at Shake Shack in my opinion. You know, what side do you want? I'll have the apple slices. No, you don't want that. Okay, we know you want the waffle fries. We don't even know why it's on the menu. Corporate forced it. Yeah. Yeah. You can go download our full Yelp from Stranger's segment at our Patreon. The link for that is in the description of this episode or you can go to patreon.com slash find outing podcast and we're now offering a one week free trial.

So what do you have to lose? Go check it out. People have wild opinions and we get to read oh so many of them. Thanks. Okay, so you've heard the history of Texas Roadhouse. We've read you some Yelp reviews. This is the end of part one. Join us next week as we cover our review of Texas Roadhouse. Man, I'm on the edge of my seat. I can't wait.

You have to wait a whole week, Michael. I know. You literally have to come back here and re-record with me at a later date Instead of sticking around and recording part two and me releasing it later. Yeah, I'm method Well, thanks for joining me. Is there anything for the next week for people to pass the time you want them to go do to Support you where can they find you? Well, there's actually a really interesting dude that I've gotten to know He's a magician here, local and Los Angeles. Uh-huh. And I know you're looking at me thinking Michael knows a magician. Yes, he's a really interesting dude.

His name is the great dumb Deany. Great name, isn't it? Sure. Yeah, from what he's told me it was actually a reference to a famous magic duo at the turn of the century in the early 1900s named dumb and dumber. So that's really yeah, that's where the name comes from. Huh. I think he's not telling the truth though. I love that. All magicians are liars. He's told you his entire backstory and you're plugging him. It's almost like he's like a religious cult leader.

He's getting people to spread the word on his behalf. I don't think he's smart enough, so it's in the name. But he's on Instagram at the great dumb Dini. You can look at the D-U-M-D-I-N-I. D-U-M-D-I-N-I, yes. Gotcha. The great dumb Dini Well great

He's just a really interesting dude so you just go well Yeah, everyone go follow at the great dumb Dini on Instagram and he he bears a striking resemblance to you I do have to say that yeah, he does awesome. Well, thanks for joining. We'll see you all next week for our review of Texas Roadhouse. Get ready. And we add some fun, now we're waiting out there We're waiting out there Join us next time, we're stuck in line Waiting out there We're waiting out there

We're so hungry, Tommy's grumbling Waiting out there We're waiting out there We gotta continue our search for media critique Yeah Waiting out there We're waiting out there Yeah Waiting on our demo, waiting on our demo We'll be waiting and disu-played Waiting on our demo, waiting on our demo

Swing, swing, swing, swing, we're digging in Waiting on our demo, waiting on our demo Got a lot for the time, but just sit tight Waiting on our demo, waiting on our table, God, I put a time for just a strike You're the waiting on our table, waiting on our table So you continue when we see you next week He-he-he-he But I'm the only one who's waiting on our table Waiting on our table, waiting on our table

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