Fine Dining - TGI Fridays the 13th: Season Finale

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Season 2 starts November 8th! TGI Fridays is dark, red, and honestly feels like a murder room. Appropriate for the season Michael is joined by friend Sandy Rose to deliver the Resty Fact Round-Up while Garrett goes to town on Michael's bidet. Learn how TGI Fridays original incarnation was drastically different from what we know it as today Michael's pineapple son Juicy Jr. dons the mask as Juice-Son Vorhees in a terrifying murder spree homage to the Friday the 13th horror film franchise JUB issues an ominous warning Frequent dining companion Herbert Amaya goes to check on the suspicious boat on the ceiling while Michael & Garrett speculate What's Going On Over There? Garrett breaks the injunction and orders another Cinnabon-branded dessert Cheese correspondent Steven Zurita is a big fan of cheese The death of a cohost... Hear what others are saying about this TGI Fridays location in this week's Yelp from Strangers Additional Voice Actors: Sandy Rose, Herbert Amaya, Steven Zurita Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) We're on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (coming next week: Dave's Hot Chicken), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get our 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send us your TGI Fridays stories at [e-mail].   Follow us on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast   Let us know where we should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. We read every one!   Next time on the "Fine" Dining SEASON PREMIERE: The Melting Pot! The surviving host takes guest host Rhyan Schwartz to a cheese fondue restaurant, despite despising cheese! Hear what they have to say in two weeks for the season 2 premiere in two weeks! Ever work at a Melting Pot? Send your stories to [e-mail].   Totally Not Sponsored By: JUB

This is the fine dining podcast, the search for the most-me-dior-the-restaurant, scariest restaurant, but also the most mediocre one in America. I'm your host, Michael Ornellis. And I'm your host, Kierzwork. And in this show, we're looking for the perfect 5.00 experience out of 10. In this show, we go to places and evaluate them based on their atmosphere, based on their service, and of course, based on the food. This week, we went to a Paragon of Mediocardy, it would seem.

A Mediocardy Classic. A paragon of mediocrity it would seem. A mediocrity classic. TGI Fridays, one of the places that I consider a heavy hitter in this game. Like, if you have a name of a week in your name, you're pretty important. Yeah, can you imagine just a restaurant called Mondays? I don't think anyone would eat there. Ruby Tuesdays exists.

I'm honestly surprised no one's capitalized on Saturday. Find dining party of two. Anyways, our table is ready. So let's go on into TGI Friday. We're here to satisfy not to impress Your table is ready Complementary butter and bread These walls have growth signs Knit knack, cowboy hat Good luck at autograph guitar

Some grab from your city Behold the trusty of mediocrity I'm dining Yes, I'm dining Fine dining Two ledgers on the sign are shining You know, I Plickering irregular timing, Identify the perfect vibe,

How the 10! Find dining, Find dining! Hey there, find Dynamaniacs! Before we get too far into the episode, I just want to take a quick second to allow our friends over at the Snack Show with Jamie Fallon to tell you about their podcast. Hi everyone, this is Jamie, and this is Fallon, and we co-host a podcast called the Snack

Show with Jamie Fallon. Every Friday, you can find Jamie and I embark on a weekly journey all about Snack's y'all because everyone loves snacks So let's talk about it. In each episode we focus on a different type of snack chips cookies road trip snacks holiday snacks and So much more. We've also got special guests sometimes Listener Collins each week sharing their favorite snack and always differing opinions So there is something for everyone. We also have video episodes available on Spotify and YouTube.

So if you love to snack, come join us over at the snack show and check out our latest episodes streaming everywhere you listen or watch your favorite podcasts. First impressions. I'm not trying to force this to be spooky, but in a way, it kind of was a little spooky. Like, I felt like we walk in and there is no music.

There was a lot of dark corners, lots of just weird shadows. Red everywhere. It's like, it's a murder room. The entire restaurant is a giant-ass murder room. Yeah, and it's got like the red and white picnic colors, which makes you feel like you're on an abandoned carousel and there's like a the red and white picnic colors, which makes you feel like you're on an abandoned Carousel and there's like a clown coming after you. Yeah, or if it were a little dirtier, it could be a perfect abandoned campground murder room

Yeah, you have a lot of experience with those No The way you avoided eye contact while saying that was noteworthy to me avoided eye contact while saying that was noteworthy to me. One of the things I noticed even driving up, that I mean only adds to the creep factor of this place. The outside seating area was all plexiglass. Like usually you'll get like a top half that's plexiglass or something, but this was like from the ground to the top of the barricade plexiglass.

And it felt like a human zoo. If only there were like a viewing room for the murder room. Oh God. This is my thing on this episode, the murder room. I mean, look, TGI Fridays put forth the vibe that it put forth. But it is worth noting that we weren't alone for this adventure.

We actually had a group of five. It was you, me, Stephen, Archie's correspondent, Herbert, my second most likely to be convicted of murder friend and my friend saying, hey, hey, I don't think I'm ever likely to be convicted of murder and nor is Herbert keyword convicted Keyword convicted. Now there were signs when you walk inside and they kind of stole the outback thing. There's a big sign that encourages you to be friends with benefits.

Why chain restaurants so horn? They just want your information. Sell you targeted ads and put you on a mailing list. Sell your information to bad harvesting corporations. Yeah, but in this episode It's not data harvesting. It's human body harvesting Organ harvesting Rang TGI Friday is running an organ harvesting ring and take that as fact

Okay, don't take that as a bit of satire or a joke or anything along those lines anyone hearing this I want this to be read back in a court of law where this part literally says this was not a joke. Because look at it this way. This is a joke. It's obviously a joke. But the thing that's not funny is how they stay in business. Like how does a chain restaurant like TGI Friday stay in business

in today's economy other than an working harvesting ring? Look, times are tough, man. I hope we don't get affected by said Orkin harvesting ring. That would be inconvenient. And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor. Oh, hi there. It's your favorite sponsor, Jub, and I'm back here to give you an ominous warning. In this episode, you can call me Crazy Job.

Anyways, here goes. Em, you're going to TGI Blood, ain't ya? It's got a death curse. Basically, just some violent stuff has happened there. It's not a big deal. It's all because of the lake, which there totally wasn't actually a lake at this TGI Fridays, but for the sake of the lake, which there totally wasn't actually a lake at this TGI Friday's, but for the sake of this parody, there was.

Every other detail will be true though. But there was a boat, and that's weird. Don't get in the boat, don't get in the lake, don't go swimming or skinny dipping. It's just a bad idea. And I know this, because I'm a prophet of God. You're doomed. You're doomed. You're doomed! DOOM THE FUSE DAY!

So you know what? GO! GO! GO! GO! Come on! What are you waiting for? Get out of there! And what's up with this organ harvesting thing?

That's not a part of the movies. But I guess it could be going up behind the scenes, so... Hang on to your organs! I gotta go get in position to be strangled to death with Barbed Wire. See y'all later, okay, bye. I don't even have all my organs. It's like, wait, do you really not? Let's see, what am I missing tonsils, I guess?

That's... Those are kind of organs. I'm missing the organ called shame. That is true. I will attest to that. You don't have skin, which is the largest organ in the body. I'm just this bloody, gooey mess. We always put a towel down.

That's the rule with Garrett. You put a towel down so he can sit. But hey, TGF Radys was perfect for me. There was red everywhere, so my body stains just blended in with the environment. Happy Halloween, everyone. Yeah. One of the first things I also noticed

was just a big in here. It's always Friday, which could be fun sounding. In here, it's always Friday. But there's also the ominous read of that. And you share it, it's always Friday. And I kind of took it that way. Yeah, it's a groundhog day of that. Like, you're never escaping.

Mm-hmm. Once you're here, this is it for you. Friday is your last day. I don't care what day of the week it is. It's a Friday. Third, third, third, third, chain thing thing thing. So as always, you know, we inspect the bathroom just because we're weird-ass people. We gotta know, like, I even took a picture because we were talking about the urinals with our friends,

Sandy, and how one of them is really low to the ground. And Sandy, who is here right now? No, thanks for finally acknowledging me. You're welcome. So I go off to take a picture of the urinals. And speaking of investigating bathrooms, while we're recording, I'm going to go investigate your bathroom because I love that you have a bidet and that just makes me happy. I need to buy one of those. I'm to go experience your bidet for a while. Uh, clean up after yourself. The bidet does all the cleaning.

Alright, well while you do that, Sandy and I are gonna go into this week's Resty Fact Roundup. Yee-ha! Alright now, as we all know, my mom listens to every episode of the podcast and she's not too fond of the whip noise used to round up all of these Resty facts.

So to make it easier on her ears, I do cover up the whip and bury it beneath another sound effect. Sandy, what feels appropriate for a TGI Fridays? I mean, it was kind of spooky in there. Yeah. Yeah, with the patrons that went there, let me kind of questioning why they were there. So do we want to just do like whatever our interpretation of a spooky noises? Yeah, that's fitting. All right, on three, one, two, three.

Oh, dumb. That was really good. Oh, Alan Stillman opened TGI Fridays on the upper east side of New York City in 1965 aiming to create a relaxed singles bar that would appeal to young people. Wow a single like a single bar TGI Fridays was like like see he wanted to get laid. That's why he made TGI Friday. Yeah TGI Fridays was the earliest tender Essentially the T is for tender. Before becoming a restaurant who are stillman sold chemicals, like for cosmetics and food, he thought investing in a bar would help him meet women.

So he did it for himself. Like he opened the bar as an excuse for himself to meet women and get laid. Because before he just sold chemicals, that's not going to get you laid. What do you do? I sell chemicals. No thanks, white left. What do you do? I opened a TGI Fridays, come to my house on the Upper West Side. It's the nicer part. I guess you're much more attuned to New York geography than I am. Only through romcoms. That's where all of the rom coms are is the upper west side

That's immediately where my mind went when you said up for east side I 100% believe that how you know it At the time the upper east side was called the girl ghetto because there were so many young Professional women living there. Wow, but a good place for a real life tender. Ooh. The first TGI Friday's location was near a convenient route to the airport. Stillman chose it because he expected, quote unquote, a pile of stewardesses would show up.

Yeah. He's, this guy's, call my favorite guy. He's a colorful character. Also near the airport, I guess that's why there's like so many airport T.J. Fridays. Maybe not why, but it makes sense now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He just went from town to town, just looking for Stewardesses to hook up with. Who? It was a different time, San. Yeah, it feels the same. And one local apartment building held so many stewardesses that locals took to calling it the stew zoo. Okay, we've got the girl ghetto, the stew zoo.

These are all like improv team names right now. Yes, and. It wasn't typically considered respectable for women to visit bars. Still men wanted to change that. Here's a quote from him before TGI Fridays, four single 25 year old girls were not going out on Friday nights in public and with each other to have a good time. They went to people's apartments for cocktail parties or they might go to a real restaurant for a date or for somebody's birthday, but they weren't going out with each other to a bar for a casual dinner and drinks

because there was no such place for them to go. I love that when talking about his own restaurant, he compared other restaurants by calling them a real restaurant. In all of that, he's like, yeah, they got to go into a real restaurant, but they come to my place. Wow. I mean, he's growing in my favor a little bit now. I guess it sounds like he is the originator of the girl's night out. I TGIF. Wow. GNO. Shit, we got a lot to thank this guy for.

TGIFer iD Fridays was a fast success. One of the first places with ladies night, and within five years, Stilman was franchising. The second location opened in Tennessee in 1970. This is like the discussion of when the Barbie movie came out and everyone was like, that's why you have to center marketing campaigns

around what women want to see. The TGI Fridays was the original bar. Proof of that. It was the Barbie movie. Yeah. The Tennessee location in particular became a party spot in Memphis. It was the first bar in the city where you could get a cocktail. It had live bands playing and had a reputation for its young customers experimenting with drugs.

Oh, love that last little line, Tharnen. What kind of drugs we talking? I don't have further details on that. I was not there. Damn it, my client. I was not alive. Oh! As franchising exploded, in time, more TGI Friday started catering to suburban crowds.

There was more emphasis on the fast casual food than the cocktails that made it so successful in New York. So they're branching out, they're figuring out ladies like more than just cocktails, I guess. They want to eat. We're going to let them eat. Did you know women eat? Not until the 60s, at least.

That's when it was innovative. TGI have really like the change women were allowed to eat for the first time in history. Women's rights. Paving new ground. But he still wanted a pile of stewardess. Sure, true. We can't have it. Let's not let's not leave that factoid behind. In 1971 with the economy faltering, stillman sold the chain for around a million dollars. He was quoted as saying, With a million dollars at that time,

You could retire and do nothing for the rest of your life. So I sold. Yeah, at first I was like a million, that's it? Isn't that a crazy sentiment that in 1970 you're like, Yeah, I can do nothing for the rest of my days for one million dollars. That's the goal though, to do nothing for life. Yeah, to just earn everything early.

And then, do I want to travel? Yeah, I don't want to travel. I wonder if he got married, got laid or something. Not a woman. He got laid one time. He got $1 million and he used it to get laid. One time, that's enough for me to never need sex again. Yep, it was very good.

Well, I was from Astur. The sexiest profession. A very well-traveled woman. Exactly. Ooh. Ooh. By 1975, Stilman was totally uninvolved in TGI Fridays. The business changed hands a couple of times,

and by 1980, it was totally a family affair, no longer catering to young hip singles. And none ever went again. That's sadly untrue. Until we visited it. By 1983, it had reached 100 locations, so he got out, got his money, and then they franchised really quickly with this more family centered image.

Oh! In 2023, there are over 900 locations in over 50 countries. Oh, so more than just America. More than just America. Are they called T.J. Fridays in other countries. They have days of the week in other countries I was like are they called T.J. Ivearnas and like Spanish speaking country. I would be good to know Hold on Hey there fine dining fans. It's me, Michael's son, Juicy.

And while Michael's looking up whether or not they localized the name TGI Fridays when in other countries, let me tell you what I've been up to. Michael sent me to summer camp. Yay! I love camp. There's songs, there's games. They have this great big lake. And one Friday the 13thth I went swimming in it

Now let me tell you something given that I'm a sentient pineapple. I don't have any arms Which makes it real difficult to swim oh? No Luckily, they've got all those camp counselors to pull me out of the water if I'm in trouble Help help I'm drowning anyone Wait, where's the lifeguard? Help! I can't swim! I can't! They were too busy making love. Yep, that's the motive for everything that happens in the Friday the 13th movie series. Anyways, I was presumed dead. But nope, I'm alive and now have a murderous

bloodlust. So let me just grab my machete and, well, I guess I won't spoil it for you. Damn, Michael's Google skills are bad. Oh, okay, he's finishing up. See you later. Later. No, I'm not seeing anything that shows it changing its name. Although it wouldn't be TGI either. That's true. And I guess TGI Friday is probably a pat. Terracidis adioses, vianes. Hahaha.

I like that a lot better. All right. Hahaha. Ooh. Ooh. Today, new franchisers are expected to open at least three locations and have a net worth of at least three million with at least one million dollars liquid. It's a lot of pressure.

It's a lot of liquid. They also have weirdly strict location requirements, like at least a 65,000 person population within a 14 minute drive of any new restaurant. Oh, that is so interesting. I don't know anything about franchising restaurant, and I've always wondered, like, how do they choose their locations? Yeah. Because they're always close to other franchises.

That one is actually, I think, a very smart policy of like like we know we're so mediocre that we want to know that there are enough people here That's some are gonna venture on in if we are in rural America. We will go under we will not survive There's like four people within like a 20-minute horse ride It's just like four biggest fans of T.J. Why did we open here? They're here every day and we're still just hemorrhaging money, that's the word. We'll never go liquid. Oh.

All right, here's a claim. TGF Fridays claims they invented loaded potato skins. They added them to the menu in 1974. Two other restaurants dispute this. Prime rib restaurant in Washington, D.C. and RJ Grunson Chicago, who say they were doing it before 1974. Yeah, we don't have to give you proof, but we did it before that. When did you do it? 73?

Three. Oh, yeah, really? Yeah. Either way, TGI Friday's definitely popularize them. According to the Chicago Tribune in 1984, farmers were actually boosting their potato production to keep up with potato skin demand. Wow. Is that not kind of depressing over the state of America? That's wild.

I bet there's one like housewife in Middle America. He's like, I was doing low to potato skins. In 1972. Even before those other places, my family, that's all they eat. Oh, in 2016, TGI Friday's sold a whopping 3 million pounds of potato skins in total. All right, so here's a claim that's harder to believe than the potato skins. Stoman claims he invented the first happy hour. Yeah, this guy is really trying to boost his profile

just to get laid. Here's a thing, everything has existed forever, but if you're gonna be the first person to claim, I invented that. I mean, I don't have any other dispute against that. Who else invented Happy Hour? They did help popularize it, but like, you can't be like, I invented this. Well, who else did? I think he could say that. I don't have a counterpoint, so I'm kind of like stuck here.

If so, I mean, this is kind of the hero of the working class. To invent happy hour. Ooh! Some other funny menu items from the 1980s, Nacho Lupas. Nacho Lupas. A country burger with gravy. Stake on a stick and deep fried artichoke hearts. Okay.

One for four. I mean, not your Lupa's just sounds like a Taco Bell time traveler came way back into time and was like, they're not your Lupa. But let's combine all of the Mexican food in one. The country burger with gravy sounds bad. Yeah. Steak on a stick. That's a kabab.

You don't need the stick. Yeah, it's a kabab. It already exists. You don't need the stick. Just give me like it's steak. Give me that. But see, if you call it steak on a stick, you can say, I invented steak on a stick, even though kebabs already existed.

So stupid. And I invented the happy hour. And I invented the stewardess. Exactly. I was the first person to put a woman in the sky. He's got a way with words. Pre-Emilia Earhart. Oh.

Oh. Oh. In 1984, they became one of the first chain restaurants Three Amelia Earhart. Ooh. Ooh. In 1984, they became one of the first chain restaurants to offer smoothies and non-alcoholic options. Huh. Chain restaurants weren't catering to people who didn't want to go and just turn up. And that's me.

I'm so rare. I would love to go to a place that had non-alcoholic options. So T.J. Friday is growing more and more in my favor. Oh, I love this. I love that we're winning you over. We I represent TGI Friday. At first, I wasn't convinced. Where's Garrett? He's taken forever in the bathroom. Oh, though TGI Fridays turned from more of a bar to restaurant over the years, it garnered a reputation for flarelair bartending, where bartenders

flip bottles behind their backs and juggle glasses, etc. It started in 1980 when a TGIF bartender in Marina del Rey made headlines for his flashy tricks and created a how-to video. A how-to video in 1980 when you don't have a cell phone on you is such dedication. Yeah. He had to rent a camcorder and take it to his TGIFR. when you don't have a cell phone on you, is such dedication. Yeah. He had to rent a camcorder and take it to his TGI for it. I don't even know if they had camcorders in 1980.

Yeah, what was he using, film? I shot this on... That was a 50 millimeter. They actually shot with the same camera they used to film Oppenheimer. Yeah, that's, it's just grain. I'm very impressed with this, but it's very MDR. It's very L.A. to be the first person to film yourself doing like MDR,

or in a dollar. Yeah, exactly. Are you really just abbreviating? I'm abbreviate everything. DJI F, appropriate. There you go. GNO, girls night out. GNO.

Yeah, the fad spread from there. So there are less annoying salt bay. Oh, yes. That's the kind of influencer we're talking about. Oh, man. It's the kind of influence that we're talking about. Oh, man. It's the first casey nice stat. Great. TGI Friday sponsors the annual World bartender championship, which tests a bartender's flair, but also hilariously includes written tests. Oh, she is. Oh, shit. Would you get a number

tests. Oh, geez. Oh shit. Would you get a number like cheating off of someone to like ace your TGI Friday's hard-ending test. Yeah. TGI Fridays has 500 drinks and bartenders are quizzed on how well they've memorized the recipes, garnishes, et cetera. Yeah. That sounds pretty standard for a restaurant like waiters to have to memorize stuff. Yeah. Ooh. The Garrish knickknacks on the wall are another trademark of the chain. They actually come from an enormous 25,000 square foot warehouse in Nashville. About 25% of the items are crafted specifically

for the restaurant chain. And the restaurant antiques sourced by TGI Friday's pickers, basically like the show American Pickers. If you've seen that. Wow. Who go around to flea markets, a massing junk. That's a job.

Yeah. Sounds amazing. I didn't know that they sell like airplane propellers and ugly canoes at flea markets. Only at the Rose Bowl flea. Yeah. Ooh. Ooh.

Ooh. In 2013, New Jersey authorities rated 30 restaurants, including 13 TGI Fridays for filling fancy bottles of liquor with the cheap stuff and scamming customers. Here comes the scandal part of the story. Basically, allegedly, they charged customers for premium brand booze like Grey Goose or whatever, but actually poured them, you know,

much cheaper store bought stuff disguised in premium bottles. Wow. Which I assume this is how every bar in New Jersey operates, not just. I mean, wow, not only is that obviously shady, but it's risky too, because people ordering gray goose getting a bad hangover the next day are more likely to give you like really bad reviews and not ever come back again. That's true.

I relate. I've had so many hangovers. I often order only gray goose and I'm never getting gray goose I only eat gray geese. I have a 100% gray goose diet whether it be food ordering. Well, TGI Friday is invented the first fried gray geese So you're good. In 2021 TGI Friday signed a deal to open 300 ghost kitchens. You know, those delivery only restaurants

that flood door dash and similar apps, which is just weird because such a big brick and mortar getting in on ghost kitchen seems almost unnecessary. Like you have so much kitchen real estate amongst all your restaurants that it just seems unnecessary. It seems greedy. Ooh. I'm gonna go check on Garrett. Okay, you're gonna leave me here with all the stuff. I'm gonna leave you here with all this stuff and can you handle a couple resty facts?

Okay. All right, so I'm gonna give you this piece of paper. Don't hurt yourself. Okay, I'll be here. I'll read these. Okay, bye. See you. Here I'll read these. Okay, bye. See ya. In 2014, T.J. Friday's had a short-lived campaign where little robot drones carried mistletoe and hovered over patrons, then took a picture if they kissed. The consensus seems to be this was creepy

and annoying rather than cool. Yeah, I think that feels a little pornographic. Ow. Okay, he told me not to get a paper cut and then I totally got it. Oh, that hurts. Okay, in 2022, T.J. Friday's was one of the only international brands to resist pressure

and refuse to leave the Russian market. That's really bleeding. They condemned the invasion of Ukraine and proceeds from Russia franchise fees. Oh my God, this paper cut. Ow, it won't stop bleeding. Oh my God, this paper cut. Ow! It won't stop bleeding! Oh my God! What shit! I guess there's that creepy leg over there. I could go swimming in it alone at night to rinse this off maybe? That seems like a good idea.

It sure is super creepy here alone as a woman swimming in a lake in this T.J. Friday's. Guess I'll hop in this inflatable raft and just chill. Oh man, what a perfectly vulnerable victim. What's that? Is someone there? No. Okay, guess I'll just stay right here and not take any extra precautions, despite definitely hearing something I

Was just kidding I was swimming under the red, but you notice what he said I had to lie I got Through this raft and through my neck. Sorry about that. What a specific way to die Anyways, I'm just gonna drag this body somewhere so that Michael and Garrett find it. Make their life easier and progress the plot a little bit. Atmissier. Oh, hey, look, dead body. It's actually thematically perfect for the fact that this is a murder room. Wait, no, this is dead body body someone got murdered in the murder room

Why is this not shocking to you? Why do you seem to be very casual? Sandy just died and you're just like oh, hey a dead body anyways. This is appropriate It's just like walking on to a golf course in being like oh man. Look. It's a golf ball So when you walk into a murder room you have no no problem with that. It's part of the environment. You expect to this, like, would you expect a ballerina if you're going to watch the Nutcracker? Yeah. So would you expect a dead body if you go have dinner in a murder room?

You know when you put it that way? I guess I feel like you're approaching this like these deaths aren't permanent. Like Sandy will be back. I'm not talking about permanence. I just am talking about how this is appropriate for the environment. All right.

Well, let's talk about said environment. Again, I kind of mentioned those red and white picnic colors like the candy striping. Is that what it is? I don't like, you tend to know like this visual design in the names. I guess like kind of like the red and white stripe pattern. That goes back to the whole candy striper thing

from like nurse aids, and put in hospitals back in the day. Also look at the barber shop poll. Sometimes it's red, white and blue. Sometimes it's red and white. Sometimes it's red and blue. But the striping pattern is consistent. And what we mixed with that here is a big sports bar. Lots of TVs.

And these are old ass TVs. Okay, these TVs were from like pre 2010, you could tell. They were falling apart. They were like, they were the, well, but they were the first wave of thin TVs, but they are thick by today's standards. And it was just like a bunch of games, but then even still, you were not really hearing much, right?

We're hearing the games. We're hearing the games. We're hearing the games. We're hearing the game. The Dodgers game on it, full volume, which, there's a bunch of different games going on. So like, yeah, if you're watching a different game, because they had a few different things on, you're just hearing Dodgers, no music.

I think it's a safe bet to say, over half of these sports fans are male. Sure. And males traditionally have larger bodies and more meat on the phone. So obviously, they get more meat by playing a Dodgers game than by, say, playing days of our lives. So you're trying to attract the medius to demographic? Yes.

Okay. The table behind us had just an active fan blowing the whole time. Yeah, I think the AC was broken. To me, it seemed like the type of fan that you put to like air out a stain, but it's also unlike one of these chain dining tables that's made of that glossy coat over the wood and stuff to where nothing really

can stain it, yet it still manages to look wood. Have you ever tried to get blood out of things? Blood stains so much. Yeah, I guess that's true. I thought this was a very generic atmosphere. Oh, yeah, it's the Fridays. I mean, so, like, painfully generic. And I mean, yeah, it looked a little spooky, but like on the other side of the restaurant because there's like two distinct sections, there's a TGI Friday's logo in Russian overhead. I don't know if you notice that it was literally just the Friday's logo. And one of the signs behind the server station just said fun fact TGI Fridays becomes the first American casual dining restaurant chain to open a restaurant in Moscow, Russia. They are promoting this. It's not a popular sentiment today.

I feel like they should take that shit down in recent times. Well, it is literally in a almost inaccessible to customers. There's the bathroom and then there's like a host station that leads right to the kitchen but I noticed that I had a bunch of signs and me being the shameless guy that I am like squeezed in behind a few working servers and was just like, hi, sorry, I'm interested about the history. Do you mind if I just take a few pictures of these and read them at the table? And they were like, yeah, okay, weird. And they were like, yeah, okay, weird. Oh. Also on the hanging on the wall over this other section,

there's a giant sporting rowing team boat. I don't know how many people I would say it fit. Maybe lots. Like a dozen, eight, eight, two, a dozen, somewhere in there, but like exactly one dozen trust funds fit on that crew boat. Yeah, I don't know. It just seemed kind of out of place with the rest of the decor. A random boat.

It brings up a question, Garrett. It makes me ask, what's going on over there? What's going on over there? What's going on over there? What's going on over there? Should I wear it? Should I get it? What is going on over there?

Hey Herbert, you're here too, right? Hello. Do you want to go investigate the boat while Garrett and I figure out what's going on over there? You mean the boat that's three or four feet taller than me that I can't reach? You know, the one that's inaccessible, sure, I guess I'll go check that out. What's the worst that could happen? Great. Hey Garrett, what is going on over there?

I think they're trying to attract wealthy clientele. You know the wealthy taste better. Yes, these really fancy guys. They don't know how to exert their muscles in the same way, so it's tender in the way Veele is. Garrett, TGI Friday's is honestly your paradise. We've got human Vee feel. Oh man, I am all down for this human but it's not infantile human feel. No, no, no, this is aged feel that has just been kept sedentary pointing the finger and having their servants do all the work for them. Carry me around. Actually, you know my favorite meat

seasoning, capital gains. You just kind of crush it up like a red pepper and you just shake it on. It's the most expensive container you'll find at the grocery store. I hear it has gold flakes in it too. Yeah, I think TGI Fridays is taking the rich with this boat and kind of sending them down the river to harvest their organs and take their meat, their real meat. Well, what do we have here? Another one. What's up with this weird lake inside this TGI Fridays?

I know he's not going to hear me because I'm hiding in the bushes right now, but we went over this to make the Friday the 13th parody work. Yes, yes, yes, work, work, work, work, work. I guess the only logical thing to do here would be to take my clothes off and skinny to. So, that's what I'm gonna do. Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. His shirt. Is that a metal band?

That's not what the wealthy wear. I guess I'll just take this boat off the wall with me. This guy's poor. I guess I've still got to kill him, but this meat's gonna go to waste. Hey you, don't touch that boat, that's for the wealthy. How much do you make? Whoa, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. What does my income matter? It'll tell me what to do with your body once you're dead.

Oh my God, dude, just put down in the shed. Please, please, I'm begging you, please. Just put it down. Put it down. Why do you keep trying to get behind me, huh? Why don't you stab me in the front and coward? Because I have a thing about stabbing people through the back of the throat. It's just how I like to do it.

WHAAAAARGH! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR dramatic fashion. There we go, my work is done. For now. Hahaha. Oh no, it looks like Herbert was accidentally hurted onto that crew boat. He's not rich enough to be there, what's happening? They didn't check his tax returns and now he's dead. God damn it, his meat's gonna get mixed in and it's gonna ruin the veal. What the hell?

Someone's gonna be like, this tastes not wealthy enough, not quite poor, but not wealthy enough. And that Garrett is what's going on over there. It seemed like they were really trying to force a collaboration with crispy rice. I know this technically comes in food but like on the menus and on the walls there's all this random hey order sushi encouragement and I'm just like why I'm not here for sushi. I don't trust here for sushi. Oh, no. Even if you're teaming up with a reputable sushi source, I'm still not trusting it because it's in a Friday. Yeah. Oh, maybe that's another murder route. Give you mercury poisoning.

Yeah, something like that. Well, just salmonella. I was thinking more of like the delicacy that is blowfish. Can you imagine going to a Friday's and being like, I'll have the blowfish. Give me your most expert sushi sh-a sushi. delicacy that is blowfish. Can you imagine going to a Friday's and being like, I'll have the blowfish. Give me your most expert sushi chef. Sushi chef.

I don't know the terms of anything apparently. I'm down to try blowfish at a Friday's. You wanna roll the dice? I'll roll the dice. But yeah, overall, for a Friday the 13th, this is kind of spooky. I'm gonna go one down because I did feel like my life was in danger. One thumb down on the Friday's atmosphere and joking aside, it didn't seem super clean.

It wasn't like, it didn't, it wasn't like filthy, but it definitely had like a layer over it. You could just kinda tell, so yeah, one thumb down, this didn't inspire anything in me other than maybe a little regret. And it didn't inspire much out of me other than, oh god, people are gonna die here. And hey, whatever, that's just the way of life. That is life people die. So zero thumbs. Zero thumbs.

Zero thumbs. Surface. Surface. Our server, I felt made a very quick impression with me. And it wasn't necessarily a positive one. She asked if I'm a TGI Friday's rewards member, to which I said no. I don't live near a TGI Friday's because this was at least half an hour away from me if not more than that.

It just feels too far to go. So I'm like, no, I'm okay. I don't wanna sign up for the rewards membership. And I got like attitude and pressure from her. It wasn't just like, oh, okay. It was like a, but you get free chips and salsa. I'm never really offended by that because there's gonna be some manager or something

that gets on her ass later for not getting that. Like, it's a metric that is tracked for employees there. I don't know that for sure, but if it's there, they're tracking it. Sure, but when someone says no, you don't give them attitude, you don't push them further. You don't go like, you'll get $3 off your bill. What's the deal?

Look, I don't want spam emails, okay? I just don't, I'm sorry. It's okay, I'm probably not going back to a TGI Friday's anytime soon. So yeah, I don't know, it kind of set up an annoyance tone. That was like a two way street. Like, yeah, I didn't appreciate it from her, but I could tell she definitely didn't appreciate me

not signing up and kind of brought a tacit hostility with her. I didn't get that. Well towards me, I got all friendly all the time. Like I didn't get that vibe. Yeah, I only did because I declined the thing. By the way, she didn't offer it to anyone else. Like if someone else had said no, then like whatever. Yeah, but yeah, I just got like, you know,

when someone's smiling, but you're still getting that, I don't like you vibe from them. It felt like that. I didn't love it. I don't like being pressured. But, I know what this is. This is corporate America turning like a low wage employee against the customer.

Like, yeah, which is crap. Like, it shouldn't be a fight between us and our server. The problem is with corporate, the problems with the shareholders. They are the problem. Not this poor woman trying to make money so she can pay her rent. She's not the problem. I also did notice that there wasn't really any busing until our table was pretty overloaded.

It did kind of come at the end before we ordered dessert, but I think overall I'm just gonna go one thumb down mostly due to being shamed for not wanting $3 off my order to be on a mailing list. I'm just gonna go zero thumbs, like I don't blame her for that. Zero thumbs? Yeah. Alright. Food. Yum. I don't know what for that. Zero thumbs? Yeah, all right. Food. Yum.

I don't know what I expected with the food. You know, it's been a long time since I've been to a Friday's probably college. So maybe a dozen years for me. And I guess with the popularity of the place, I expended more. Popularity of the place. Well, okay.

What I think I've realized is people don't really choose a Fridays. They go to a Fridays because it is just the closest thing to them geographically. Yeah. Like, I think that's the clientele of a Friday. That's why I have only eaten at Fridays because of convenience.

There used to be one next to one of my friends' apartments. And we always met up there, we ate there a lot, but it's right next to his place. So where are we gonna go eat? The place we can walk to. Yeah, not, I mean, it makes a lot of sense. And like in this same shopping center, it's not like there was a ton else.

Yeah, there's like a Walmart, there was a best buy. Like there were plenty of non-restaurant reasons to be there. Right, and then it's just like, I'm hungry. Ah, I guess there's that Fridays over there. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, I guess we'll eat there. Hope I don't get murdered.

Which is funny, Applebee's doesn't have that problem. Applebee's is kind of like, eh, I guess I'll eat there. They have cheap booze. Like, you'll eat at an Applebee's even if they're next to something else. Yeah, like Applebee's like, oh, half off apps, half off drinks. Okay, they'll pull you in with cheap booze

and cheap appetizers. They're known for that. Well, and we now know a great burger that we can get at an app that we as well. So, Fridays doesn't have any of these things to pull you in. No. I almost got kind of fused when I walked in. I was like, wait, how the hell did I end up here?

And I was like, oh yeah, there's a podcast. There is an active reason why we're here. But it sure is how late the food. No. I will say, it started off stronger than anything. I think my favorite thing of the night was the appetizer, the whiskey glazed sesame chicken strips. I do feel that calling them strips is generous.

Like in terms of shape, these were like wings. These were nuggets. Yeah, these were boneless wings. Like they were very small. If I got this from wingsstop, I'd be disappointed. Flavor wise. Size wise. Okay. Yeah, I guess I expected something bigger, but I liked the taste of this. The sesame actually really came through. The whiskey glaze was distinct from it. And so the two flavors

kind of blended in a way I liked sauce was tasty. I'm going to go seven and a half two flavors kind of blended. In a way I liked, sauce was tasty. I'm gonna go seven and a half out of 10 on this. The taste was fine, like I liked the soy garlic of it. Like there was a garlic after taste that came through that I really enjoyed. But the more I thought about this, okay, there's a flavor that kicks you, but it's really just corn syrup.

Yeah, but I mean, hey. Honestly, the chicken was kinda dry, little stringy, wasn't that big, breading was, it was crispy, but it was unremarkable. These were structurally unremarkable frozen garbage. Frozen garbage. They made up with a decent flavor. So I'm gonna go six out of ten on the strength of the flavor alone.

Once we got past this starter, this appetizer, looking at the rest of the menu, there was nothing that just stood out and said, because the layout was probably done by the COO's 12 year old child. You could tell it was like, oh, my kid is good with Adobe. Let's give him this. Like, this was made by a bullshit human that has no concept of graphic design. Sure, but also, I'm just talking about

the actual selections of food. Yeah, that too, but like, you need to be able to read the menu. I mean, it wasn't in a, it wasn't in Russian. No, no, no, it wasn't. It wasn't too small. It was just the organization was weird. To draw your eyes anywhere.

It was just like a freaking newspaper with color. I would just say. I would just say, the amount of options that we had on this menu that looked appetizing were way too little. This is. We wait too little. This is way too little. And now this is sad.

I remember going to TGI Fridays and having the menu actually look appetizing or excite you in some way, just like with things like a half page spread with pictures of their ribs. They used to like feature their ribs more. I mean, they had a big picture of the little sauce brush going across a very zoomed-in part of a rib

at the top of the thing. But yeah, I mean, nothing, nothing was just like, oh, yeah, I want that. By the time it came to order, I was just like, yeah, I might as well do that. It wasn't a standout, and in fact it was way too little. All right, so after we kind of just decided on a last minute thing to get, what did you end up ordering?

Get the Nashville Hot Chicken Sandwich. And that came with fries, right? Yes. How'd you feel about them? These were supposed to be seasoned fries. Was a pittly amount of seasoning on them. They weren't crispy, they were slightly soggy. So right away, I'm just like,

hey man, try these before they get cold. They're gonna be bad then. Yeah. Which immediately they were passable. Right. At first, they were five out of 10 fries. I gave it a six out of 10, but yeah, passable. Very, very mediocre.

I don't know, they should have fried these again. Left them in the fry or longer, double fry them. Do something to- Re-fried fries. Actually, yeah, double frying your French fries is the way to get a really nice crisp coating. Once they were no longer warm, were they even passable?

No, they were just bullshit. You just kind of stopped eating them. Gotcha. All right, tell me about the sandwich. This is such a bad description, but it looked okay. It was visually appealing. It almost could look like an advertisement. The colors were bright with all of the elements of the coleslaw.

So it's like they sprayed it with hairspray to make it listen. Yeah, like it wasn't very spicy. If you go to Dave's hot chicken, maybe this is like mild if that right. I want some flavor on this It was a little soggy. The patty was way too thin. It's like they pounded it Cotsu style, which I don't know if they did sure I'm gonna have to give this a five and a half out of ten because it wasn't great at all But it stopped me from being hungry. What an endorsement. And so I got the thing that I guess people were telling me they were known for.

I kind of when I sat down, I was like, I have no idea what a Friday's is even known for, but y'all were telling me the ribs. So I got Friday's big ribs with apple butter barbecue, came with mashed potatoes, and I got a tomato cucumber and onion salad, which is in like a vinaigrette. It was fine. got a tomato cucumber and onion salad which is in like a vinaigrette. It was fine. It was tomato cucumber and onion. That's what it tasted like. It was just raw foods. I give it a five out of ten. The mashed

potatoes. I love mashed potatoes, Garrett. You love mashed potatoes. This was again just fine. It's about what I expected. I honestly am surprised it didn't come in styrofoam. Like that's kind of how it tasted. I gave it a five out of 10. And then the ribs, the apple butter barbecue was just very sweet. This is like candy ribs, which sounds insane. Sweet barbecue sauces are a thing.

Yeah, we're not fans of that though. Well, I do like sweet. It was just a case of, I think it kind of hit my limit, especially for a barbecue sauce. You know, on a dessert, my sweet tooth is insatiable. On ribs? You know, it's a different bar. So I went six out of 10 overall on Friday's big ribs.

The meat was, it tasted like human veal. You know, it was very tender, but it didn't have a lot of texture to it. There was no char. Steven was kind of pointing that out that a good char is kind of necessary for good ribs. Steven and I are both Texans. I think we see eye to eye on ribs. What we don't see eye to eye on is cheese. Now, Steven is our cheese correspondent. He did come and order a cheese dish, and he is

here right now. So, Steven, you know what? I'm going to give you a minute to review your cheesy item from TGI Fridays. Let's hear it. cheesy item from TGI Fridays. Let's hear it. Hey everybody, it's Cheese Correspondent Steven Zerida again in person this time. Oh, another character who's peripheral enough that I can kill him off and it's moving real. The sizzling chicken and cheese, the chicken breasts and the dish were perfectly cooked. Ah, damn it, I left my machete at the lake. What else is here? Many said it was supposed to be garlic marinated?

Oh, lookie, a bunch of spinning fan blades on the table behind me. I could weaponize that. It came on top of... A came on top of sliced and grilled peppers and onions. The cheese itself was disappointing. It was really just two slices of craft singles I was expecting, like a lot of gooey. Okay, can someone please turn that off? Yes, I really guess.

Stay in places. Yes. Oh, this is crazy. Oh, this is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy.

This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha just much of a tragedy. They said they were Cajun scene. Okay, I can't even go through

and say it. They said they were Cajun season. They sprinkled like a little bit of cayenne pepper and paprika and shit on them. Ooh, how Cajun. It was terrible. Yeah. These onion rings were wimpy and stringy on the inside. Like, I can't even call this a good frozen onion ring. This was bullshit. That bad. But it's an onion ring. So foreign half of a can. I mean, you offered me a bite and I was just like,

I think I'm good. Like just nothing about the food here inspired anything in me. It's pretty middleing. It is if I'm being honest. It's the air in the middleing. Now, usually the best part about these places is gonna be desserts. I feel like not just the desserts, but the appetizers too.

Everything needed to be served in a skillet for some reason, but it wasn't like a real skillet. I don't know if it was just an aesthetic choice or to make you think that the food would be hot before it comes out lukewarm, but they were these plastic skillets that all the desserts, all the appetizers, I'm honestly certain some sides and entrees also come in them. And I thought it was way too much. I want to thank them for that.

They're trying to give us weapons to defend ourselves. That is our only option. When you're locked inside of a TGI Fridays and an eternal Friday that will not end and you're covered in blood of your friends, three of them have died already. You in fact do want a weapon and I guess a plastic skillet cuts it. Yeah. Alright. Yeah. That, you know, that leap was in fact way too much. So the first of the two desserts was the brownie obsession. This was a brownie covered in ice cream, caramel, whatnot, and candied walnut bits. And those were good.

Yeah, I liked this, but it was very sticky. I put it in my mouth and I felt like, you know, when you give a dog peanut butter for like hiding a pill or something, you know, when you're drugging your dogs. Yeah. I felt like that in my mouth, just like a constant trying to get the stickiness out.

And the chocolate sauce tasted really cheap. I thought, I mean, I thought it tasted good. Example, I have some chocolate sauce at home. I got from Strike after a Gordon Ramsay show. Uh huh. That's amazing, chocolate sauce. Yeah. That is chocolate sauce. Sure.

And this was just that Hershey's crap that sits in your parents' fridge for over a decade. Honestly, that is an accurate amount of time. Yeah, I don't think anyone has ever finished one of those. And when you do get to the bottom of it, it lasts forever even more. Like, there's like a perpetual amount of chocolate that just conjures.

That's what was on this dish. Yeah, I went seven and a half out of ten. I only went five out of ten. I can't rate this highly when the quality of the ingredients is absolute garbage. I also had a moment where I cupped my hand to take a bite of the chocolate and transport it over to my mouth. I didn't even see a thing drop, but apparently a thing of chocolate dropped and just splat on my shoe. And you were sad.

I was very, well, one, this was my second time wearing this pair of shoes. They are brand new shoes, and there was a big chocolate splotch on it. And I felt helpless. You guys were walking me through how to wipe it away, because you know what, Garrett? Because I have a bad day, and I've forgotten how to wipe it away because you know what Garrett because I have a

bidet and I've forgotten how to wipe messes away. I just spray it. I'm just used to spraying it and that was the solution to your shoe in essence. Yeah. I got club soda which my bidet does not shoot club soda. But yeah I was definitely like do I wipe against the shoe or towards the grain? Yeah, I was asking for a tutorial on wiping because it's been a while. This makes me sound like a filthy human being. This is for a bit, people. This is for a comedy bit.

And then the other dessert, Garrett, the cinnabon caramel pecan cheesecake. It's cinnabon we had to- No! It was ruled in court, a judge ruled, that you can't get cinnabon branded desserts. They don't count. Go back and listen to our cinnabon episode. We had extensive litigation on this. Why, Garrett? Why'd you have to do it? Because it looked good. Honestly, it didn't.

On the menu, it looked good. So it looked like a normal slice of cheesecake on the menu. But when it arrived, it looked sad. It looked plastic. It had the consistency of warmed goo. And it, a review. Have you ever eaten warm frosting that's been sitting out on the counter for a day? No.

This was what this was like. It was the texture of warm frosting that's been sitting out on the counter all day. That's not fun. Well I didn't eat it because it's ineligible, but what did you score it? This is a five out of ten. It's a sweet dessert, so I'm not going to go lower than that. Yeah. It provided a nice little sugar kick at the end of the meal, but I didn't enjoy it. Oh, sure. Oh, another thing. It had the consistency of toothpaste. Stale, frosting, and toothpaste.

With some nice candied walnut bits, which were actually enjoyable. So overall on the food, I'm going no thumbs. I enjoyed the brownie obsession enough. Everything else was just like right in the middle and the appetizer I did kind of like. So the stuff I didn't like was at least balanced enough to where I am just gonna go no thumbs. Same here, no thumbs, everything pretty close to a five on average. Yeah, nothing

to write home about here. All right, well, we got to factor all of this together and put it into a rating. But before we do, we got to go to Yelp and see what other people are saying about this TGI Friday's location in this week's Yelp from strangers. We need a little Yelp, a little Yelp from strangers. A one-star-two-star-freed-star-four-by-yay. So get a little Yelp, little yelp from strangers! A little yelp, little yelp, give us those complaints why you literally want to die! Yelp! Alright, this is Yelp from Strangers where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite

1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 star Yelp reviews of the restaurant we went to. Two star review. I'm gonna start us off with a two star review. This is from Pam M. Three months ago. She's done 201 Yelp reviews, so she's pretty seasoned. Friday's is the same wherever you go. It's clean, but it seems like it has an oily layer over everything.

How is that clean? Yeah, I don't know if oily is, oh, it's clean, just ignore the layer of grease. Prepare for a very basic and mid meal. We were seated quickly and we ordered drinks. They showed up fast. She must then been a Lord's member. The drinks were just okay. Basic well drink or a pre-mix, they were strong, my enough. Yeah. They were definitely strong enough after that. Yeah, that sentence composition. I ordered one of their big burgers, the Philly. It said it had roast beef on a burger that had melted cheese and onions peppers with an egg roll skewer. I said, please hold the onions peppers with an egg roll skewer.

I said, please hold the onions and peppers. She said no problem. Then she bring me this burger. There's a picture. It is absolutely plain. There is nothing on it except for nothing. She tells me it's all mixed in so they had to hold it all. Where is the roast beef? I wanted my cheese. I tried to eat it and it just tasted like oily disappointment. I feel like she just learned the word oily recently. She's like, oh, it applies here. If she would have communicated with me,

I would have ordered something different. This is exactly why I don't come here. Two stars. Yeah, what else do you say to that review other than that's an expected experience someone can have it a TGI for a days. Three star review. Here we go. Now let's go with a three star review from Arnold A 16 days ago. And his profile picture is Eric Cartman.

You know, I thought that was noteworthy as well. Yeah, I don't know. thought that was noteworthy as well. Yeah, I don't know. It's just noteworthy. And also on Eric Cartman, if you zoom in, he has a shirt that says warning, Yelp critic. That is perfect. We were in an area where there's an island restaurant

and a TGIG. I had not been to a TGIF. Now he got it right. Since 1994 and now I remember why. Yeah. The food is mediocre with a limited selection. Truth. We ordered over-priced chips and salsa to start,

which are a disappointment, not a rewards member else those would have been free. We would know. They give very little salsa, so we ordered a second side of salsa. It was brought out way after our food was delivered, although we reminded the waitress. The two much smaller portions were too late by then. The bacon ranch chicken sandwich was okay, but nothing to brag about.

Friday's Long Island iced tea was more lemonade than anything else. I guess I'll be skipping this place for the next 20 plus years once again. Man. Honestly, that's my favorite line in the whole review. I'll be skipping this place for the next 20 plus years once again. I really do hope that in 20 years Arnold goes back to a Friday's and re-reviews it for you. I'm not gonna let it. I don't think Friday's is gonna be around in 20 years. I don't think most of these places are gonna be around in 20 years.

This podcast is gonna be like a museum. Yeah, just a bunch of artifacts of, oh, remember that? It's gonna be like one of those VH1, remember the 80s shows. Yeah. You can go download our full Yelp from Stranger's segment at our Patreon. The link for that is in the description of this episode, or you can go to patreon.com slash find outing podcast. And we're now offering a one week free trial, so what do you have to lose?

Go check it out. People have wild opinions, and we get to read oh so many of them. Thanks! So when we put everything together, I mean my thumb ratings were one down, one down, and no thumbs. But you had no thumbs all across the board. I was all nubs. Do you wanna go first? Yeah, I'm gonna go first.

There was absolutely nothing spectacular about this restaurant. No. And surprisingly, nothing really offensive. The murder happened, but we're at a murder room restaurant. We're down three friends, it's thematic. I think it's part of the show. Sure.

So I look back at my other restaurants that I'd rate in a similar zone. Sure. Like Denny's, which I gave a 5.02. Sure. Applebee's, which I gave a 5.04. Johnny Rockets, 5.03. So the three you mentioned, would you rather go to those

or Fridays? And I'd rather go to all three of those really? Yeah, but not by very much, okay, so you know what I'll give it a five point, uh-huh zero Zero This is the most mediocre restaurant for me. Really? Perfect. 5.00 I'm honestly happy for you that you now have also found a perfectly average, for me it was Applebees, but we got to agree. And in this case, unfortunately, we just don't.

I guess I had a more negative experience with the service. The atmosphere just made me sad a little bit. I didn't think this place was like abysmal, but I definitely don't have it in the same vein as those other places that I would put at or above five. So for me, TGI Fridays, I'm gonna go same vein as those other places that I would put at or above five. So for me, TGI Fridays, I'm gonna go 4.55. And that means it goes up on Chachki of mediocrity.

Are you okay? No, I'm good. What's coming out of your mouth? 4.78 Holy shit dude is you're foaming man I'm fine Gary Get off me man Help me, man! Ah, come on! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! You shit when you die!

That's not the sound of shitting! Okay, just like a bird mating call. Yeah, I'm dead. Ooh! Oh my god. My rabies. From when I was pit-by-a-dog and I talked about it in the Denny's episode. It finally finished incubating and I killed Carrot!

I killed my friend! I'm not supposed to be the killer in this though. Oh, hi there! Crazy job again! Remember earlier in the episode when I said this place has a death curse? This is more or less what I meant. Yeah, but in the movies, Jason's the killer. Actually, in the first movie, spoiler alert, cover your ears if you haven't seen the

first Friday the 13th, but plan to… It's Jason's parent! and your juice son's Baron. Yeah, I guess you're right. So what happens to me? Oh, you don't want to know. What happens to you? Well, I'm supposed to get strangled to death with barbed wire, but I combed the place high and low

and got rid of all the barbed wire I could find. So I'm in the clear. No, you're not. Ah, we do come from. I'm the killer. I No, you're not. Ah, where do you come from? I'm the killer. I can kinda hide wherever. Is that Barbed Wire in your hand? Yes, I brought my own. I hadn't considered that. Well, you'll never take me alive.

I don't plan to. Hey! Whoa! Ah! Ah! Go! Hey! Go! Uh, uh, uh, go! Juicy, stop! He's our sponsor. Not anymore, he's not. Any last words?

I gotta go. Okay. Bye. Bleh. Juicy, dammit. Is anyone even alive still in this episode? Michael. Michael. No, back to us. What? Dude, you have been out for a week.

What happened? Your rabies flared up and I don't know how you got over it. But you've been in this feverish state for a full week. You know how many times the nurses had to change your bedpan. Why is that funny? Oh, I'm a grown man involuntarily using a bedpan is kind of funny. Did you see that too? Sandy? Oh, yes.

Herbert? Yeah, yes. Stephen? Yeah. Did we even actually go to a TGI Fridays? Yeah, you don't remember that? And you're still here? Yeah, we're all here, man.

Wait, did you actually order a Cinebon branded dessert? Of course I did! You don't remember that? We had an agreement. Well, I guess that's it for Garrett. I need to figure out where I'm gonna go next week and I guess I have free rain to choose wherever I want. Wait, are you a ghost? I'm pretty obviously killed me.

So I'm either a ghost or you're imagining this. Well there's no way that you have unfinished business, you just gave a 5.00. You freaking murdered me, man! Alright, well, do you want to play the headline game with me ghost Garrett, and we'll figure out where to go next time? Let's go! The rules of the headline game are as follows. Michael will present three headlines to Garrett that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up or they can be actual headlines. If Garrett can correctly guess, at least two out of three are real or fake, he will get to select next week's

restaurant. However, if Michael stumps him, he'll select again. Are you ready to play, fellas? Ooh, I'm spookly ready! Florida man arrested after starting brawl Florida man with TGI Friday staff over smoking indoors You said Florida man true ghost me is still me Roaches rodent droppings closed TGI Fridays near USF Central Florida's one of those special places just like the panhandle. Uh-huh, true All right. Ha ha. Last one. Snakehead served at TGI Fridays.

Was it in Florida? I actually don't know. I'm just gonna go true again. It seems like a thing that would happen to TGI Fridays in Florida. All right, so you say, Florida man arrested after starting brawl with TGI Friday staff over smoking indoors

You said true because Florida man and I use that against you Garrett. I made up that headline I'm a ghost. I don't really care Roaches rodent droppings closed TGi Fridays near USF. That is in Florida. You said true. That is true And lastly snakehead served at TGi Fridays. You said true. Garrett, that is true. Was this an accident? A man in upstate New York was just enjoying his meal at TGI Fridays when much to his horror. He found a severed snakehead among his vegetables.

The man said he became disgusted when he looked down at his plate and saw eye sockets staring back at him. The serpentine surprise is being taken various seriously by the restaurant chain, which has requested a full investigation into the matter. It was determined that the snakehead was not cooked with the vegetables, but in fact planted by a prankster in the vegetables. I have to laugh about it now because if I don't I'll start to gag again the man who found the head said So that means ghost Garrett has won the headline game I don't know if you're able to physically eat anymore or go with me to a restaurant

But I will continue this journey in search of the definitive most mediocre restaurant Where should I go next time? You murdered me. Why? You ordered cinnabon. There's only one place I will send you. Uh-huh. This will be your favorite restaurant of all.

The options are tailored to your exact dietary likings. You're gonna go to the melting pot. No! I'm not gonna go to a cheese fondue place. You either go to the Melting Pot, or I haunt you for the rest of your life. Ahhhhhhh! Alright, next time, I'm gonna go to the Melting Pot. Huh, and I guess I'll have a guest host with me. Garrett, it's been 40 episodes. I'm sorry it had to come down to

murder, but genuinely this has been a very fun experience to do with you, and I'm going to miss you a lot. It is time. I am moving on. Well, I'm emotional right now. One last time. We didn't find the most mediocre restaurant in America. The search does in fact continue. Have a fine day. That was a facile little boy Baby, get ready, was a facile little boy And now he's gone Get ready, was a facelid boy Karen was a facelid boy

And now he's gone And now he's gone. And now he's gone. Have a fine day!