Fine Dining - The Melting Pot feat. Rhyan Schwartz

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to the fine dining podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. And this is the start of season two. There are going to be some changes, some very big changes, some smaller but still noticeable changes. But the mission remains the same, and that is to find you the perfect 5.00 out of 10. The most mediocre dining experience imaginable. I'm going to chain restaurants, I'm going to all the things that you know and love and like and tolerate and maybe some dislike

Starting point is 00:00:32 because I think that's where I'm gonna find mediocrity. It's not gonna be at the high end, it's not gonna be at your local mom and pops. I mean, it might be at your local mom and pops, but I'm not here to put them on blast. I'm here to put corporate restaurant America on blast. And I'm evaluating these restaurants based on their atmosphere, based on their service, and based on their food.

Starting point is 00:00:52 This Friday, November 10th, you can hear me as a guest on the Snack Show with Jamie Fallon. And I'm going to throw to them real quick so you can hear what the show's all about. Hi everyone, this is Jamie, and this is Fallon. And I'm going to throw to them real quick so you can hear what the show is all about. Hi everyone, this is Jamie and this is Fallon and we co-host a podcast called The Snack Show with Jamie Fallon. Every Friday you can find Jamie and I embark on a weekly journey all about snacks y'all because everyone loves snacks so let's talk about it. In each

Starting point is 00:01:21 episode we focus on a different type of snack, chips, cookies, roadtrip snacks, holiday snacks, and so much more. We've also got special guests sometimes, listener callins each week sharing their favorite snack and always differing opinions, so there is something for everyone. We also have video episodes available on Spotify and YouTube. So if you love to snack, come join us over at the snack show and check out our latest episodes streaming everywhere you listen or watch your favorite podcasts. This week I went to the melting pot and I am joined by a friend of mine for over 10 years. Someone who knows me.

Starting point is 00:02:03 Unfortunately too well. I guess is the best way to describe it. My buddy, actor, writer, director, app developer, Ryan Schwartz. How's it going, buddy? I got a decade's worth of Mikey-Miky under my belt. I don't reside under your belt. Oh, wave below the belt.

Starting point is 00:02:23 Like at the knee or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I got some shin. So you are my guest host for this week. I will have a different guest host each episode joining me on this journey. But welcome to the show, Ryan. Thanks for coming on and dipping some stuff into some cheese, oil, and chocolate in front of me.

Starting point is 00:02:42 And with me. And well, you feel my heart and the cheese fills my arteries that is the mission. I'm dining party of two. Our table is ready but we will get to it. Your table is ready follow me. Have you tried our chicken breast? Serving pancakes and ribs.

Starting point is 00:03:00 I recommend this spaghetti. We're here to serve. It's fine not to impress. Your table is ready. Complementary butter and bread. These walls are broken. I recommend this spaghetti with huge saves Find out to impress Your table is ready Complementary butter and bread These walls have growth signs Knit knack how I had to look at

Starting point is 00:03:12 Autograph guitar, some crap from your city Behold the trusty of mediocrity I'm dining Yes, I'm dining I'm dining Two ledgers on the sign are shining Now I'm flick! I'm dining! Two letters on the sign are shining! You know, I'm flickering, irregular, tiny! I didn't apply the perfect biiiiiiiight!

Starting point is 00:03:32 How the 10! I'm dining! I'm dining! Hey everyone, before we dive into this episode too far, I just want to address the obvious big change for season 2. Last episode, the TGI Friday's episode, was in fact Garrett's final episode with the show. I got a call back in August from him, saying that he would be departing the show, that

Starting point is 00:04:01 he was done, and then we went out to eat that one last time to give him a fun and fitting send off. I just want to publicly say, Garrett, it was a blast this year doing the show with you. Thanks so much for your time and energy and enthusiasm. I wish you well. I hope you have the absolute finest of days. First impressions. So before we even walk into the restaurant, there's like a very reflective door, like a mirror-like door. I don't know if they're trying to show you like a before and after of what you look like before you get rolled out of this place, but it stuck out to me. It was like a two-way mirror, like an interrogation room style. Yeah, like the FBI is waiting for you inside of the melting pot. What do they have to hide?

Starting point is 00:04:52 And then even before we get to the door, when you pull into the entire like strip mall, do you remember how there was like a clock in like a, it's a small world style, like a clock tower sort of thing? No, it was within a peeking roof. There was a clock that was completely unnecessary and looked like a weird facade like a tomb down. Like we're in like a back lot like this melting pot isn't exactly what it seems. It was like the back to the future clock. I didn't see this at all, but that's fine. Yeah, that was all outside. And then of course, we're joined by our friend Steve. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:30 Listeners, if you go back to our Planet Hollywood episode where we went to the LAX Tom Bradley Terminal Planet Hollywood, we went with Steve. So you guys been on the podcast before he joined us for this, Ryan, you're actually the one who introduced me to Steve. Oh, yes. Steve's a legend. He was in Sharknado. Ryan, you're actually the one who introduced me to Steve. Oh, yes. Steve's a legend. He was in Sharknado. I think you should leave two seasons worth.

Starting point is 00:05:49 He is a member of the turbo team. He's a legend. And I guess we got to be honorary members of the turbo team. It was turbo time for sure. It was that's what the clock was trying to tell us. There we go. It was turbo time. That's what it was.

Starting point is 00:06:01 What a harbinger. Good word. Damn. So we walk in. The lobby must be mentioned. Of course. The lobby felt like a spa lobby a little bit where it's just clearly, hey, this is where all the fanciest stuff goes to try and I guess easy when to.

Starting point is 00:06:20 Yes. I would go further than spa lobby. I would say dairy sauna. Is that a made up thing? Yes. Yes. I would go further than Spalabi. I would say dairy sauna. Is that a made up thing? Yes. Oh. It's a sauna, but with dairy. Oh, oh, oh.

Starting point is 00:06:30 It was like a sweat lot of cheese. You're metaphoring what melting pot actually is a dairy sauna. Yes. And so they really want you to notice all their wine. They were very like, hey, by the way, we do have, I don't know, approximately 3,000 wines. It was a humorous amount of wine. They were very like, hey, by the way, we do have, I don't know, approximately 3000 wines. It was a humorous amount of wine. Yes.

Starting point is 00:06:50 It was like, you know when you go through a corn maze or like in a horror movie when someone's like running away from someone and it's just endless, it was that but with wine. Yeah, like imagine a bunch of sandbags between trenches or for a storm, but instead of sandbags, it's a false wine. Yeah. It was kind of obscene. It was too many. It was. And then they also had boxed roses

Starting point is 00:07:11 for purchase. And look, you are code stickers on top. Just think it's for easy checkout. Well, they were very like trying to set a mood other than the one thing directly to your left, a coat rack that had no coats. Zero coats. Because you're at a chain restaurant. Who's gonna trust leaving anything unattended? It had very take a coat leave a coat. Like a charity coat, just like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:35 I don't need this one, but whoever might need it. Yeah, sure. Take it. It's like a lost and found. The box rose is, you're right, it is pushing this very date vibe. I noticed one of the cards said, it's Thursday date. I have one of those cards with me right now. It's got roses all over it on the back.

Starting point is 00:07:53 Thursday date sweet talk. Make Thursday your best date and really get to know your special someone with our fun and flirty conversation starters. Feeling thorny. And then of course, I see what you did. A QR code with a little heart in the middle of it. Oh yeah, because the only thing sexier than roses is a QR code.

Starting point is 00:08:15 Yeah, I mean, I think that's how most modern proposals are happening are via QR code. Oh yeah. Yeah. So they also have like a glass case that's just filled with their awards they've gotten. And I didn't look at the specifics of what the awards were. I did take a picture, actually.

Starting point is 00:08:31 Let me pull this up and see. Okay. Almost all of these awards are from St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. Oh, no. And they are not for the quality, but they are thank you for donations and recovering from cheese cancer. I don't know. Take another swing. Recovery from children's cheese cancer. The fact that I didn't pick up on this when I was looking at it, I just assumed they were

Starting point is 00:09:03 awards. I think might have kind of been their intent like oh, we didn't win awards, but we do get this plaque if we donate and people respond to a plethora of plaques. You see a bunch of plaques and you're like, oh, this place must be good. Yes, if you put up enough glass display cases, people just assume it must be filled with accomplishments.

Starting point is 00:09:23 This place is great. We're onto you, melting pot. They also had a bowl of Andy's mints at the front that I really wanted right away. I mean, because we didn't eat it much. We saved space. Right. Pre-meal. But here's my issue with it.

Starting point is 00:09:39 If you're a restaurant that serves gourmet chocolate as part of your meal, you don't want just like crappy, basic chocolate greeting you. I think that the shelf life on those Andes Mints are incredible, not shelf life, but how long they actually sit there. Yes. Because I imagine most people aren't falling for it. But it's like having like a luxury car lot

Starting point is 00:10:00 and you're greeted with like a bowl of hot wheel cars. Or just a 1993 camera. Yes. Just sitting at the front on the like display, lift out front or whatever. Yeah, you can't have the crappy version of something if you're a luxury place. Well, speaking of whether or not this is a luxury place,

Starting point is 00:10:20 do you want to learn more about the history of the melting pot Ryan? Oh, I am dying to know. Are you dying to learn more about the history of the melting pot, Ryan? Oh, I am dying to know. Are you dying to know? I'm melting. Well, we're gonna find out in what is now known as EAT DEATS. Formerly known as RESTY FACT RUNUP, but that's when Garrett prepared it. I'm doing all this research now and I wanted to rebrand, so I'm calling it ETERIEDETALES. EAT DEATS. EAT DEATS? The melting pot was founded in... Can I just interrupt? brand, so I'm calling it eatery details, eat dates. Eats? The melting pot was founded in.

Starting point is 00:10:48 Can I just interrupt? Why are you shirtless just to differentiate this from the past version? Why are you shirtless? Right? You know, just trying on new things. The melting pot was founded in July, 1975 in mainland Florida, just outside Orlando. That was one year before the bicentennial.

Starting point is 00:11:06 Oh my God. Ha ha ha ha. mainland. The fact that they're literally founded in a place that's like a love bird. Oh yeah. Yeah. The first menu just had three items.

Starting point is 00:11:19 Swiss cheese fondue, beef fondue, and a chocolate fondue dessert. Okay. They haven't come that far other than switching up the types of cheese meat and chocolate. They expanded laterally. They expanded laterally, but it is still basically just those three things. And you don't want a fondue of just one type of cheese. Like a Swiss cheese, then you might as well just throw some Swiss in the microwave.

Starting point is 00:11:43 Like I think the entire idea of fondue, just like a smoothie, a jambaduce, you're not just like strawberry-only please. Like it's about the medley of the fruits or the cheeses in this case. Just putting that out there for anyone who hasn't had fondue. It's really about the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, it. One of the waiters, Mark Johnston saw franchise potential. In 1979, with the blessing of the original owners, who we can't find their names online,

Starting point is 00:12:14 so I think they kind of want to stay anonymous. So they're blessing outlive to their name? Yeah, wow. He and his brothers, Mark and Bob, opened a second location in Tallahassee. In 1985, the Johnston's purchased the full rights to the brand. The youngest brother, Bob Johnston, is now CEO. He started at age 14 as a dishwasher. Nice.

Starting point is 00:12:37 Yeah. There's not a tremendous amount of difference between dishwater and fondue. That's horrifying to think about, especially when all of the fondue is literally sticking to these plates, like you kind of do get a disgusting medley. It hurts. Johnston openly admits to putting profit over people early on. He expands, I didn't create a clear mission statement. From 1985 to 1995, the melting pot tried to launch a franchise program, but things

Starting point is 00:13:06 didn't progress as hoped. In 10 years, the Tampa Florida-based concept only grew from 5 to 19 restaurants. We had trouble attracting franchisees because we were self-centered and focused primarily on the bottom line. You go into a franchising business because of the bottom line. It's not like, well, I was thinking of joining a franchise, but they seem too focused on sky high profits. Well, really, it really is a turn off. Yeah. I mean, I think what he's admitting

Starting point is 00:13:33 is that the company's policy to allow franchises to buy in was a little bit too, like they made it too high of a hurdle if you wanted to open a franchise. And maybe they were like very abusive tactics. Like the employees, they shoved their hands in the melting pot if they misbehaved. Yeah, you know.

Starting point is 00:13:50 They were human rights abuses. As they do. They melted more than cheese. This is not a fact. These are the opinions and thoughts of ranchers. And just for legal libel situations, these are actual facts. Beats.

Starting point is 00:14:09 The melting pot has 94 locations., their headquartered in Tampa. They also have two melting pot social locations in Florida, which seem to be more like bars with a limited fondue menu. The quote they say is, the melting pot social is a bar-centric cheese-forward whimsical dining experience with a creative culinary twist on the classic melting pot restaurant. They use 692,60 pounds of cheese and 542,250 pounds of chocolate per year. So Michael is getting visibly aroused right now all this talk of tons and tons of cheese. I Hate cheese, but those of you listening for the of cheese. I hate cheese.

Starting point is 00:14:45 But those of you listening for the first time, I don't eat cheese. I don't like cheese. It bothers me on a fundamental level because of a few things that happened in my childhood that really grossed me out. So I've discussed this with Michael's PTSD therapist. And so this is the weird thing. Michael feels the need for attention to pretend he hates cheese. What he really does in private is he just guzzles scoop after scooped cheese.

Starting point is 00:15:09 It's like, why is he pretending to hate cheese? In 2022, at least 74 of their restaurants set all time sales records. That's all but 20. Can you imagine being one of those 20? That's like, sorry, guys, we couldn't outdo it. We couldn't push the cheese as hard as he all did. It hurts. The initial investment to open a melting pot franchise ranges between 1.2 to 1.6 million dollars, including a $45,000 franchise fee. So that's the buy-in price. That's way higher. Like I watched some Shark Tank. That is very high.

Starting point is 00:15:47 But I mean, when the checks are as high as they are, like you're rolling in money from the product. I would like to know. I would like to know the profit margin. Yeah. Because, yeah, when you shred some cheese and you throw it in a pot and you charge 40 bucks for it. Here's the thing.

Starting point is 00:16:02 Johnston says the average check is around $50 per person, to which I call bullshit. Like, yeah. No. average checks. Are you going in to get one thing? I, no, the average checks, I, a hundred dollars a person.

Starting point is 00:16:17 E-dates. They are looking for franchise prospects to reach 125 melting pot locations by 2026. So they want another 31 restaurants within the next three years. See, I think they're on a downward trajectory here because there've been closing melting pots. I even thought this melting pot that we went to was was kaput. Because this is by where you grew up. Yes. Was it always there? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But there are other ones that were like in Woodland Hills or whatever that have since gone under.

Starting point is 00:16:48 So most melting pots in this area have gone under. We'll go over it, but they're actually not doing too bad right now. Okay. It dates. To determine the best spots for new franchises, the melting pot uses an AI platform called SiteZoost to tell them where to open next. Wow. You like AI.

Starting point is 00:17:08 I do. You're a big AI boy. Yeah, this should open one in space. Because AI, as we all know, is space. Space. It's the future. It's the future. As of 2016, the total sales for the melting pot

Starting point is 00:17:22 franchises domestically and internationally was a hair short of $200 million. They could have just rounded off. They didn't need to do the hair short. Yeah, and it may not be as high now as their location is fluctuating. Is that relevant? Is that relevant?

Starting point is 00:17:36 Is that relevant? That was total sales. That's revenue, so we don't know how profitable that was. Right, right, right. And that's a figure that's seven years outdated and we went through a pandemic where people don't wanna share. Be doing the little dippy dip.

Starting point is 00:17:50 Yeah. E-dips. So Melting Pot partnered with National Friendship Expert, Dr. Melanie Ross Mills. I'm gonna read this press release because it's kind of funny to me. Celebrate and create stronger friendships with delicious dips and shareable sips. How do you share a sip? You like like a mom of bird regurgitating it into

Starting point is 00:18:12 the... Yeah, you can't share a sip. Challenge accepted. Ryan come here. Get over here all my shirts still off. All right, Tampa, Florida, May 11, 2022. Grab your besties. Melting Pod is encouraging friends to connect over Fondue and has partnered with National Friendship Expert, Dr. Melanie Ross Mills to share advice on building stronger bonds with memorable experiences like sharing a meal together. We are created to connect and bond in friendships,

Starting point is 00:18:38 said Dr. Mel. Friends who spend time catching up with memorable experiences like those at Melting Pot often find their relationship growing and deepening. This is so like heavy-handed of just like, you'll be better friends after Meltingpot. I love the over-credentials of her doctorate. Meltingpot has created an experience to encourage friends to get together and catch up while indulging in delicious dips and shareable sips. The best fondue friends forever, BFF,

Starting point is 00:19:05 aims to get besties around the fondue pot and turn moments into memories with a three-course menu of creamy cheese fondue, fresh salad and craveable chocolate fondue, featuring enhanced BFF, dippers of artisanal cured meats, cream puffs, and macarons starting at $27 per friend. Like, look, it was fun to go with you as a friend, but clearly the target marketer is date night. Like, you don't need sensuality between friends. Well, so I will address that.

Starting point is 00:19:34 Let me finish this just because they are literally branding days of the week, friend day and like a romance day. Oh my God. So, so Monday is like, the downs of cheese day. The VFF F Entree can be added as a four course for a minimal charge prices participation

Starting point is 00:19:50 very by location. Just in time for National Best Friends Day on Wednesday, June 8th, friends can also enjoy the outdoors. Sun, rain, outdoors and the sun. They've got the new pink crush, yeah, I get right ever. It's listing menu items. Our mission has always been to bring people together

Starting point is 00:20:02 over fondue for conversation, laughter and memories.. Our BFF experience, which has offered year-round every Wednesday, is the perfect break in the middle of the week to meet with friends and we're proud to partner with Dr. Mel in helping friends connect with each other. Now, the best part about this press release is what's next. Connecting with friends will not happen without time, care, and effort. Dr. Mel offers five tips on how to connect and bomb in friendship. One, make an effort. Let your friends know that you care by reaching out.

Starting point is 00:20:30 It can be as simple as sending a text, making a phone call, or sending an email, the moment a friend comes to mind. Keep in mind, this is still in a melting pot press release. They're coaching you on how to be a better friend. Two, build one another up. Help your friends identify why they are unique and appreciated.

Starting point is 00:20:47 Be specific, give examples of how you witness their strengths playing out in your lives. Three, create memories together. Grab your friends and plan out of the box experiences together. Try the Wednesday BFF experience at Meltingpot or local activities like twilight bowling, painting classes or art museum. I'm just saying this is like like try out mentor mentees.

Starting point is 00:21:11 For offer trust and extent vulnerability. Give your friend the freedom to be vulnerable without judging. Conversely, share your own life experiences with trustworthy friends. Be trustworthy and open your heart to connect. And five, let go of offenses and extend forgiveness. Each of us is imperfect and will make mistakes in friendship. Make sure you're not carrying offenses when a friend isn't perfect. Make an exerted effort to forgive. The BFF experiences offered every Wednesday all your long. But yeah, the fact that they're just like coaching you on how to be a friend.

Starting point is 00:21:42 And by the way, they're friend day, they chose hump day, really? You're putting friends on hump day and then Thursday you want to be your roommate any sense. It makes no sense. Two friends. Two fondue friends. Two best fondue friends Two best fondue friends Forever wow a stockhouse of wine I Could make some really saucy decisions if I got in that Ryan and Michael were just friends

Starting point is 00:22:21 Or so they thought they Mikey Mikey Super cool of you to invite me to this melting pot. It's pretty neat that we have a safe space to go and hang out and not feel pressured to make out or fall in love or ram each other's butts or anything. They're actually marketing pretty heavily to attract platonic friends. That's right, we are trying to attract Platonic friends to each other. Michael, why is your shirt off? Are you trying to seduce me?

Starting point is 00:22:52 What? No. Dude, we're just two good friends. There's no romantic attachment here. That's what they think. It's no accident that we encourage friends to come on hump day. I'm not gonna have sex with him, okay? Michael, I'm scared. I'm trying to look at you normally, but all I see is Rose Petals made out of Osceago falling over your naked body, all in American beauty, with a fondue pot covering your naughty bits. And when I look at you, I just see a lake of cheese and you're cruising up to me in a swan-shaped paddle boat for two. My heart, I don't know what's come over me, but I think we should get married.

Starting point is 00:23:35 Ryan, snap out of it. We're just friends. We're only ever going to be just friends. Not on my watch. You're going to be best fondue friends. With benefits. And do you Ryan take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? Fondue.

Starting point is 00:24:00 Oh, so benefits as in health insurance. I can live with that. Not until after your honeymoon in Pound Town. Oh, come on! Ugh. Well, if it means I get dental. Thorne doing it all night long, written and directed by visionary friendship expert Dr. Melanie Ross-Mills. Coming this holiday season.

Starting point is 00:24:35 EAT DEATS Now, speaking of intimacy and melting pot, no lie, it was Hugh Hefner's favorite restaurant. Okay. E Dates. Bob Johnston, on recent remodels to the restaurant, said, It's not your dad's melting pot or your grandfather's melting pot any longer. It's sexy and contemporary. No, no one has an association with that. Also, like, they're low key taking a shot at your dad and grandfather saying they can't be sexy.

Starting point is 00:25:04 Like, when I think of my dad, next topic. Low key taking a shot at your dad and grandfather saying they can't be sexy Like what I think of my dad next topic and I don't have like this association with melting pot of like an old-timey barbers Where I'm like wow what a dating thing? Toss them a nickel or something They bring your bowl of cheese. Let's not go to melting pot. They're too dated Eats All right, you want to know about fondue in general, just a little bit about the history of fondue. Sure, yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:28 The name fondue originates from the French word fondre. I have no idea how to speak French. It's F-O-N-D-R-E, fondre. Fondre. It's like a, and it means to melt. The dish can be traced back centuries to almost 800 BC during the times of Homer's Iliad.

Starting point is 00:25:46 Literature from the era describes a mixture of goats or sheep's milk cheese with wine and flour, something shockingly similar to today's fondue. Shocking Lee is doing a lot of heavy lifting there. Shockingly. They're really telling us how to feel. Oh my God. There's no hard date for when modern fondue started, but it became popular during the 1800s in the French and Swiss regions of the Alps.

Starting point is 00:26:08 I would really like to nail down a hard date on that, please. I'll get back to the research. Fondue was born out of a necessity to use aged cheeses and breads during the winter months when fresh food wasn't available. Eats? It's the national dish of Switzerland. So yeah. I actually, when I visited Switzerland when I was 19, I had fondue there.

Starting point is 00:26:29 It was fantastic. Did it seem like a common, like, oh, you've got to do this. It's just a very sweet thing to do. Yes, yes. It was a gruyere-based fondue. It's a food writer, Alex Scott. The hot sticky gooey dish seems to have become associated in the popular mind with sex. His flirty fondue is one of several romance novels featuring it.

Starting point is 00:26:52 In it, Boy Meets Girl at a fondue festival, and the term fondue is gay slang for hooking up with someone out of your league. Okay, yeah, I mean it is like a bowl of boiling. Eat foods. Food historian slash journalist David Sacks says the dish, which has its origins in 18th century Switzerland, became popular in the US in the 60s and 70s when the country was in the midst of a sexual awakening. Sometimes the food makes the times and sometimes the times makes the food. I think the latter happened with fondue.

Starting point is 00:27:22 It became popular in America just as attitudes about sensuality, physical proximity, and other social norms were loosening up. Fondue is by nature intimate, says Saks. Can you imagine eating fondue with, say, a bunch of professional colleagues at a conference are with elderly relatives? Probably not.

Starting point is 00:27:41 I don't even think that's true. Like, it's easier for old people to chew fondue. Yeah. You have to it was like 112. Also, that flies in the face of the BFF program. So, yeah, it's at one point they're trying to pitch that this is a platonic endeavor. Yeah. And then they're like, it's also like pure breast milk. Yeah. and I think that about covers all of the history of fondue, all of the history of the melting pot, everything we could possibly need, friends go on Wednesdays, couples just go to town on each other on Thursdays, that's the melting pot and that is- No, old people allowed.

Starting point is 00:28:19 No old people allowed, and that does it for this week's EAT DEADS! Hey, Dynamaniacs! Starting next week, EAT DEADS will get its very own release. Each episode is now going to be a two-parter with one week in between, so this podcast is going back to weekly, you'll get the history and background and growth and development, and sometimes even the controversies of these restaurant chains one week and then the following week You'll get what you've become accustomed to which will be the detailing of a visit to the restaurant what it's like How was the food? Yelp from strangers all that so next week join me for an episode of Eat Deeps Atmospheric

Starting point is 00:29:03 It was really dark in here. It was like they were trying to emulate a candle lit experience, but instead it kind of just feels like dim, small overhead lamps. Yes. Very small. Like you're working in a coal mine. That's the sexy vibe you want. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:24 There's something smoking in front of you. There's an actual abandoned track through the middle of the rest. I mean, it was mind-shafed-esque. It was very labyrinthian. Yes, there was so many corridors with conflicting exit sign directions. There was literally just two pointing to the left,

Starting point is 00:29:42 one pointing to the right, and I'm just like, is one of them wrong? Are two of them wrong? Or are they just saying, eh, go wherever you're. Anyway, you'll eventually tunnel your way out if you paw hard enough. And it was so duck, because we kind of meandered around a little after the meal. We got seated pretty close to the front area. So it was like, I didn't really get a lay of the land.

Starting point is 00:30:01 And I wanted to know. Right. What this place was. What's bizarre? There were these different pockets of tables that looked like kind of hidden VIP lounges, but there were like 10 of them. I guess they're trying to preserve intimacy like every table, every room feels like, oh, this is the VIP room. Yeah, a little bit. But instead of feeling VIP, it just kind of felt like you were intruding. When I was looking around, I could I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I think I, I, I think I, I, I think I, I, I think I, I think I, I, I think I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, like you got shrunk and you were inside a beehive. It felt like I was wearing like my dad's coat

Starting point is 00:30:45 when I was like a five-year-old or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was honestly pretty nice. Like I liked the privacy that I felt we had, but it was weird to just wander around, see a big room, and then notice, oh shit, there are people at this table. Cause we left like 30 minutes after clothes.

Starting point is 00:31:04 I didn't realize they closed so early. One of the amazing things we discovered upon wandering the corridors was a prize wheel. Yeah, yeah, and it was like right by an alcove that had way too many chairs and one of the guys who came by and refilled our waters a couple times. You was just sitting there. You was just like sitting there staring at me as I'm taking a picture of the prize wheel. And I point at the prize wheel and I'm like, oh, that's fun. I wanna take a picture of the prize wheel.

Starting point is 00:31:30 And then he's just continuing to stare at me and I'm just like, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I mean, he wished that he had a bead curtain and some incense for some privacy. Yeah. Cause this place is all about like almost private, but not quite. Yeah, he needed some for some privacy. Yeah, because this place is all about like, almost private, but not quite. Yeah, and he needed some sensual privacy.

Starting point is 00:31:50 Now, one of the other people that you pointed out to me, there was a lady at a table behind me to my left. Do you wanna describe how she looked? She was in Shindiana Jones. Like a she Indiana Jones. Indiana Jane. She was in Indiana Jane. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:06 And she was with like three other people who were not in Indiana Jones clothes. Well, I mean, she just had like, both the vest and a hat. Yeah. And like maybe a whip, I don't know. Oh. And the hat was at the expense of comfort.

Starting point is 00:32:21 Like it was a cramped booth. I'm sure she could not put her head all the way back. I mean, she's getting cheese on the brim. I think she was told, oh, you've got to go to melting pot. It's an adventure. And she was like, I'm ready for it. Anything but snakes. She hates snakes.

Starting point is 00:32:37 She does. They do have fondue snake meat, but that's. Oh, God. That's the secret menu. You pointed out the grouted table? Yes, there were, so it was tile tabletop with grout, so I- It felt like a shower. Yes, like, or a floor.

Starting point is 00:32:54 Like, usually you just have like a slab of granite or something that's the whole tabletop. Maybe they hose it down after a messy table or something like that. Grout would just create more things to stain and clean. It mildes. Yeah. Which ages and becomes cheese, which is honestly, the comparisons between mildew and cheese, the fact that there aren't zero is one of the things

Starting point is 00:33:16 that grosses me out so heavy about cheese. They are, mold-based. Yeah. Well, I'm done. I don't wanna keep talking. But yeah, there's a big, what do you even call the grill in the middle of the up? Because it's not like a grill top or anything.

Starting point is 00:33:33 It's like a hot plate. Yeah, built into the table. Built into a flat surface. They're not even like the coils or anything like that. It's just flat and you've got the big metal pot on the table. Very hot, you're sitting there like, I guess I wasn't too actively afraid of like I'm gonna burn myself.

Starting point is 00:33:50 There was a good amount of space in between us and burnable surfaces I guess. Sure. Yeah. There were Cubist paintings on the wall. Is that what I know very little about art? Is that actually how you would describe? Uh, well, there were, they were cubes.

Starting point is 00:34:05 I don't know if it was Cubist, but it was, it was a bunch of multi-claric cubes. And it just seemed like it was an uninspired, they were just like, we got to put some here. Well, because the area we were seated in had no art. No. It was like, only if you took the hallway to go to the bathroom. They're like, I guess we'll put something.

Starting point is 00:34:23 But even then, it was like, the light was too bright in there. Like for an otherwise very dark restaurant, you could see like scuffs on the wall. And it was just, I was like, oh, I get the dim lighting now. Because if the whole restaurant was this well lit, it would not be nice. It feels like they went a little to Panera bread with their decor. Like they could have gone more romantic. They could have doubled down on the rose petals and the romance, some cherry blossom pictures, something a little more flowery and pretty and romantic.

Starting point is 00:34:53 But this was all just like kind of shoved and hidden in the back. Yeah, this was like motel art. And now a word from our totally not made up sponsor. I'm sorry, this talk of paintings that belong in motel rooms is rather gosh. I'm here to save you from that. My name is Harrison Augustine, winged money- Water Moji, a really is the 14th, and my trust fund paid out into a lump sum that is only getting smaller and smaller unless I invest in something.

Starting point is 00:35:34 And I went for the fanciest sounding podcast I could find. Fine dining. New media, I'm so bad. I'm, I'm, I'm, of course. Now it would appear that there has been an error of judgment on my part. I did not see the quotation marks around the word fine, but it's okay. I'm going to class up this podcast. That's right, every episode.

Starting point is 00:35:57 You're going to hear from me, and I will update you about the finer things in life. And it's hard putting together advice for those who can't relate to your way of living, but I will push through and advise you people how to be classier. As far as this melting pot and it's motel style paintings, my suggestion, why not commission a bank see or two? That'll spruce up the joint. I won't charge for that advice but feel free to take it. Anyways, I've got to get going. My private badminton court isn't going to use itself. We'll talk next time. Toot-o-loo. The music in here was very low. I mean, to a point where I sometimes you go to a restaurant and it's overwhelming and you're like, I really wish they'd turn it down. It was very low, but it also had like a fidelity quality to it

Starting point is 00:36:49 to where it sounded like it was coming out of one of those pill speakers or like a shower speaker. I genuinely thought that the table with the girl with the Indiana Jones had on had like a speaker on the table. That's how an iPhone in the pocket playing music. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Absolutely. We didn't get judged. No. But the environment was in and of itself kind of shushing you. The studiousness clashed with the romance. Yeah. Overall, I'd like the atmosphere well enough that I'm gonna give it one thumb up. I'm not going a full two.

Starting point is 00:37:35 Yeah. I'm not going no thumbs. I'm not going in the middle. Like it was a positive atmosphere. So one thumb up for me. Sure. And I'll do like a, having trimmed my thumbnail in a long time thumb up. So it's up for me. Sure. And I'll do like a, uh, uh, haven't trimmed my thumbnail

Starting point is 00:37:45 in a long time. Thumb up. So it's like a little bit like a one point. All on thumb up. Just a one point one. Yeah. Like you trimmed your nails. It's been a few weeks. I'm not like in months. You're not like that guy in the Guinness Book of World Records with a curling thumbnail. No, no, not that yoga guy. That's his name, yoga guy. Yoga Joe. Serious. We had a server and after the first visit, you said he had a winning smile.

Starting point is 00:38:19 Yes, it was just dazzling. It was like a row of chicklets. It sparkled, It glimmered. He was suave. He was a little spicy and exotic, youthful. Probably had to be what, 25 maybe. Yeah. He was like fresh out of cheese college. Yeah. He was fine. Yeah. I mean, my biggest complaint is that he made small talk while he was making the fondue. You remember that? I mean, I didn't mind because I felt I would have been awkward to just sit there and stare at him while he's like, but we're not doing work.

Starting point is 00:38:58 We were staring at the process. Yes, that's like going to Benny Hanna and while you're like trying to watch like the explosions, they're just like, slow-wrench your grama. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Starting point is 00:39:11 Would you like me to flip this shrimp? Ah! I don't even know where that would be. How often you cut your hair? Ah! It's like, I'm trying to watch, like the small talk choices are just so out of left field, you'll have audio wisdom teeth, Tad and me.

Starting point is 00:39:26 We actually did talk about that. We did talk about that. That was, I had none. I have one left. And Steve has two on zig-zag sides. Yeah, one upper right and one lower left. And we don't want, if we mess that up, I mean, we're gonna re-record this whole thing

Starting point is 00:39:41 because we don't wanna misrepresent Steve's wisdom teeth. Well, here's the thing. I never said upper right right, and lower left, which one is the one missing versus which one is the one having? Oh, wow. So no matter what I'm right. Nice. Yeah, it was very specific to not mention it.

Starting point is 00:39:55 Yeah, Vignus is great. I guess my only issue with the service was, so just by the process of what we did, it requires phases of interaction, right? The cheese, the meat, and the chocolate, I feel like we didn't see him much more beyond the parts of the process that required it. Like the cooking in front of us. Yeah, like there were definitely times where drinks were running a little bit low and

Starting point is 00:40:24 there were other people coming by with drinks. Oh yeah, there was a separate drink at here. But, yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's still, and I mean, I mean, ground us fresh nutmeg. I mean, we have to give him credit for that. Yeah, but he did it on the cheese,

Starting point is 00:40:38 so I was not able to. So that doesn't make cheese more appealing to you, knowing that there's nutmeg on it. I mean, it makes it more appealing, but like a pile of vomit with nutmeg on it isn't gonna be like, oh, suddenly I want to eat that. Okay. Now there was a really weird moment of our server started the grill or the hot plate and walked away to let it heat. The guy who came to pour water refills almost

Starting point is 00:41:14 the guy who came to pour water refills almost immediately came by and adjusted it and like accused Steve of like turning it off like with his knee and Steve was like yeah, yes, ridiculous. And then and then Steve was like what no, I didn't I didn't touch anything and he was like, oh well then the server must have put it to look and then like within a minute of him walking away, our server came back and was like, oh, why is it so high and turn it down and it seemed like they were in like a war with one another and i just gotta ask ryan what's going on over there What is going on over there? Ryan, what's going on over there? So this is definitely what it is. I think they were prints and the poppering this. So they've done a roll swap where they were like, your job's so much easier. And they're like, no, your job's easier. And they're like, okay, we can prove it. We're gonna switch. And they're walking a mile in each other's shoes. And he's like correcting the mistakes of the quote unquote superior position guy because he's doing it wrong. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:42:07 He's like the training wheels. Yes. Of the prints. And that's why they were both in fake moustaches. They both had like groucho mark style like the glasses with the big nose fake moustaches. And they were like customers wouldn't buy us. I don't want to be. my stashes. And they were like customers wouldn't buy us. If we only dress in each other's wardrobe, no one will buy it. We got to put on elaborate disguises and they went real cheap,

Starting point is 00:42:35 real cheesy. And I'd like to believe that at home and their diaries, they both learned a lesson and were like, wow, it's really, really, that's the takeaway. That you walk them out on someone else's shoes and there's challenges you really, uh, that's the takeaway. That, you know, you walk them out on someone else's shoes and there's, there's challenges you wouldn't expect and they learned a lot. It's like pouring water is not easy. See, from my perspective, from my perspective, you're not wrong in that, like, I always end up

Starting point is 00:42:57 with way too much ice and I'm like, come on, read the glass, okay? Exactly. The glass is mostly ice. The way that the lip tapers off at the top of the poor jug. I mean, it's like an ice sheet. It's just a slip and slide of ice cubes.

Starting point is 00:43:11 Yeah, no, and you gotta know how to manage that. And what you need is like a great, you need a great, but then you would get no ice. You just get pure white. I'm okay with that. I like cold water, no ice. That's my preference. The ice hangs out there and keeps the water cool

Starting point is 00:43:26 Obviously, you don't want the ice bobbin up to the lips But the it serves a purpose. I think we've figured it out right and I think we have in fact figured out what's going on over there Now there was one other server that I noticed do something that tickled me. There was a couple, they were out on a date, and a server came by, their server, and asked them, so were you married? And the girl gave a very quick note just dating, followed by a solid like 40 seconds of abject silence, and the waitress just hyper focusing on making the fondue. Just like, oh God, I've let too much time elapse without saying something and now this is just gonna be silence

Starting point is 00:44:15 until the nutmeg is done. Yup. It was so palpably awkward and- The guy's just putting the proposal ring back in his pocket like about to get rejected, but he was able to read the room and didn't make the movie wanted to save them really. Yeah, it was so painful. Yeah, he's just like, I just saw a look of rejection on his face and just the waitress

Starting point is 00:44:40 just like, I hate that I have to be here for the next minute. Like I'm required because I'm mixing this cheese fondue. It tickled me. Anyways, overall on the service, I'm going to go one thumb up. Now this is, I've bit my nail down past the past the cuticle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is not an extra thumb up. This is an almost one thumb up, but enough for me to say. This is like a point nine seven.

Starting point is 00:45:06 I'd probably put it like a point eight seven. Yeah. Oh wow. But I'm going, I'm going one thumb up. Do that. You should see a doctor, man. If you've lost point one three of the mass of your thumb, you know, there was a lot of math involved in this dining experience. As we will see, as we will see. Yeah. I'm going, but I'm going to go one thumb up just not with the most enthusiasm.

Starting point is 00:45:26 Okay. I'll go like trick thumb from a magic shop up. Don't spoil how they make a fabric disappear, Ryan, that it's a rubber thumb that you put on and then tuck into the hole between your fist, tuck the fabric in there, slide your thumb back in, and then you do it, and people are like, what? Don't steal that magic trick. Don't steal that magic trick.

Starting point is 00:45:51 Don't steal that magic trick. Your explanation of it. So do you think a trick thumb is larger or smaller than a typical thumb? And please, be honest, don't do one of your big lies. I think it's about an average thumb, but a regular thumb. It's a full 1.0 thumb. It's a, it's like a replica. It cuts off a little bit on the bottom.

Starting point is 00:46:09 That I was hoping for. See, that's what I was like, I want it to be a trick thumb business. So you're not, so you're like not full right? It's a 0.88. But a thumb plus the fake thumb with the fabric in between. That's like a 1.3 thumb business. Oh, you're stuffing, It's like stuffing a broth.

Starting point is 00:46:25 So you're talking about just the thumb on its own. I'm talking about the trick thumb on its own, not being worn as a prosthetic, concealing a hanker chief, which impresses everybody because they didn't know the trick thumb existed in the first place. Food.

Starting point is 00:46:42 Yummy. So now, I guess the process of the melting pot and I guess the order that they bring you stuff, it starts with the cheese fondue, right? There was nothing before that, right? Right, and what we skipped was the salad course that comes after that, but we didn't do that.

Starting point is 00:47:00 Who's filling up on greens? If you're going out to a dinner like this and you're getting the salad, I'm sorry, but you're just not using your stomachs real estate the way it was intended at a melting pot. I think maybe it's to get some fiber in there so that you're not just like, squirts,

Starting point is 00:47:16 squirts galos, squirts make me. Yeah, like I think maybe that's part of it. But I mean, they also bring you broccoli for dipping for a couple of the things. That's true. For the cheese and for the... Right, right, right.

Starting point is 00:47:27 But yeah, so you start out with, it's, the full thing would be four courses, but we did the three. And by we, I mean, Michael ate all the cheese to himself. So... Since I don't like cheese and I don't even tolerate it from here on out, and this isn't just this episode for the rest of the life of the podcast,

Starting point is 00:47:45 the word cheese is getting bleaped. Michael is a fossil little boy. Michael is a fossil little boy. Baby, Michael is a fossil little boy. Michael is a fossil little boy. From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. So if I said sh** is right now bleeped. See, it didn't sound that way to me. It just sounded normal. I was just speaking. Yeah, but this goes through like an immense amount of processing.

Starting point is 00:48:16 Are you talking about post-product? I am talking about post-production. What if I said America sh**, America sh**, America,, sh**. Are you saying that knowing what happens when I say the word America? No, I was just doing that completely randomly. Yes, of course I know. Have you heard this podcast before? So the way this has worked in the past is I've brought my sh**'s correspondent, Steven,

Starting point is 00:48:41 with me to different restaurants and he gets a minute, one minute on the clock to talk about sh**s and give his review beyond that I don't give that time of data to So Ryan you get one minute on the clock to talk about the sh**s fondue Okay, so we ordered the alpine and that starts out with a little splash of white wine in the bowl and We ordered the alpine and that starts out with a little splash of white wine in the bowl and then they add the shredded, gruyere and a mix of some other chit-chat-frague which one and you mix that up and you add in the garlic and then you add in a little more wine

Starting point is 00:49:14 and then you grate the nutmeg over it. Really a nice blend of flavors because you've got the the sort of the the savory Umami flavor of the You've got the sort of bite a stringent flavor of the wine in the alcohol and you've got you know the different herbal Flavors of the garlic and the nutmeg really really nice stuff I would say Probably a little too heavy on the wine. I think it had a little too much bite And I was also drinking it with wine So it was kind of wine on wine action had on a hat. But delicious sh**. It's delicacy. There's an art to it. It's not something that's easy. It must be earned.

Starting point is 00:49:56 Now it did come with a bunch of dippers as well. So it had like a platter that had pretzel bread. You had carrots, like a bag of bread. Yeah, it was just had pretzel bread. You had carrots, celery, broccoli. Yeah, they were. It was just the pretzel bread. I could swear I tasted two types of bread. Maybe they were, but I didn't know. But you just want pretzel. Broccoli, raw, uncooked broccoli, celery, carrot,

Starting point is 00:50:17 and apple, green apple, green onion. And which one did you feel mixed the best? The pretzel bread and the granny Smith apple. Okay, so if you had to give a score. Sure, a score to each individual one or the entire, least favorite dipper and favorite dipper. Least favorite dipper might be, and this is more the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

Starting point is 00:50:35 Least favorite dipper might be like a, like a raw carrot or broccoli, I like, it's like, I don't know, mixed with the dip, it is a, maaah, close to a five. Okay, but the apple and the pretzel bread are more close to like a seven or eight. So it's maybe a seven point five. Seven point five.

Starting point is 00:50:53 Okay, so I mean, pretty big range there, two point five points, depending on your dipper, but overall, you thought the fun, the, f***ing fun was pretty good. Yes, aside from the fact that it had a little too much bite from a little too much alcohol. All right. And actually, I stole a couple of the dippers just on their own,

Starting point is 00:51:12 just had a little... You're gonna have a beautiful red. You raw broccoli piece. I just wanted it to be known that I was so hungry that I couldn't wait for the next course to start eating. What's your review of the water? I did get a pela grino with a spritz of lime

Starting point is 00:51:33 that I had to squeeze and they refused to remove the lime carcass from the table for the entire meal. They wanted you to honor the lime sacrifice. They came and bust a whole bunch of things, but not that. I just had like a slice of lime carcass. You used every part of the animal,

Starting point is 00:51:49 they wanted you to eat it. For dipping like the implement that they had for the fondue, you very quickly dubbed a diident. It was very much a diident because- Like it was a trident, but minus. And there were two prongs. Could it have benefited from a third or fourth prong? Absolutely.

Starting point is 00:52:06 Well, it actually, it got me wondering like, well, what makes a trident a trident? Because I assume that it's like the size and practicality and stability, but then was it you or was it Steve who pointed out that dent probably just means teeth. Right. In this case, so, dident just two teeth. Well, then I guess the size doesn't matter.

Starting point is 00:52:27 It's how you use it. And yeah, so we're just like sitting there with like two pronged dients, so you get two each. You get two times two. And so you've got four deadings. Are you getting started on the math? Okay. Let's get into it. Okay. Okay. So, I mean, let's get to the meat then. Yeah. So, the next course was meat. And so, we got a platter that had five meats on it, and the specific fondue that we got was a coca-avine, which is what meat with wine or beef with wine or something like that. Yeah, it's got like mushrooms and red wine and stuff.

Starting point is 00:53:03 Yeah, mushrooms, green onion, garlic, red wine, all kind of boiling in this pot. Yeah, so if you've ever thought to yourself, the best way to have steak is to boil it. Oh, are you in luck? I didn't hate this preparation. It's not for the steak specifically. It's not my favorite, but the steak still tasted pretty good.

Starting point is 00:53:23 Sure, but it's not usually recommended that you boil steak. You know. But so here's the thing, you got all these raw chunks of meat and it's up to you, kind of like Korean barbecue, to cook it. But unlike Korean barbecue where you can see visually, constantly, how far along things are, it's submerged. It's submerged, so it's in a mystery pot and you're losing track of who's... Well, y'all were losing track. Me, the Rubik's Cube expert over here was sitting there just like timing precisely.

Starting point is 00:53:50 Because there's multiple stopwatches on the table, active at this moment, which is never a good sign for restaurant. And not an exaggeration. We all had our phones out. Or you had your... I was using my watch. I was using my watch stopwatch. You guys were using your watch. And not an exaggeration.

Starting point is 00:54:05 We all had our phones out, or you had your watch. I was using your watch. I was using my watch, stopwatch. You guys were using your phones. When you're having to track multiple, multi-tasking things, instead of just enjoying the meal, because the beef pieces take like, you know, two minutes.

Starting point is 00:54:19 Well, I would say all, okay, so. We got a garlic pepper steak and a teriyaki steak. Both of those for you and I who wanted the medium rare, they said about a minute 40. Two minutes or so for Steve wanting it medium. Then the shrimp and I got a lobster tail. The shrimp and the lobster tail were both three minutes. Two minutes, right. And then herb-crusted chicken breast and Memphis style dry rub pork were both six to eight minutes.

Starting point is 00:54:46 So those were the long ones. They tied up your skewer for a really long amount of time. And then you've also got potatoes that are four minute recommendations. Four minutes if you want them crispy, but you can leave them in there indefinitely if you want. So you've got all of these interlocking fractional mathematical considerations. As you're trying to just like still engage in conversation, you're always having like, oh shit, I lost track of time. It's just this constant stress.

Starting point is 00:55:08 This felt like juggling. It was literally felt very much juggling. Okay. I've got two balls going in one hand and I'm trying to like add a chain saw with my third one. Yes. Because I was trying to do, okay, I'm going to cook one long while I cook one short so that I can swap out a short and cook two shorts in the time you cook a long. Right. But the, but the math, it doesn't fit perfectly fractionally. Well, so the way I did it was I take two, you know, I had two things that were a minute 40, right? The two different types of steaks. I had two things that were two to three minutes,

Starting point is 00:55:37 the lobster tail and the shrimp, and I had two things that were six to eight minutes, which were the pork and the chicken. So I would just take one of each of the same time one, put them both in, set my timer, and pull them both out together. Which is a better strategy. I, because I underestimated how frustrating it was gonna be. I thought my biggest thing was gonna be impatience on, well, I'm not eating anything for whole chunks

Starting point is 00:55:58 of minutes at a time. Yeah. Usually at a meal, when the food comes, everything's ready to eat. Right. And those six to eight minute ones, I felt those. I really felt those gaps where I was like, okay, now I'm waiting six to eight minutes. And the only thing I was able to eat since the last thing I cooked was the two single-byte

Starting point is 00:56:18 servings of the things that I just thought that out. Everything's single-byte. So you've invested six to eight minutes, like you wanted to bite. Yeah, like yeah. There's no service that is made better by offloading more of the responsibility onto you. And you're already paying a premium to be here. Yeah. It's like you expect to end the cook your food.

Starting point is 00:56:36 I think here's how I would have done it. I would have served fully cooked meat and given a dipping sauce just like the sh** fondue where it's just you just quickly dip your sauce. Yeah, I do get it, but that just by nature isn't what the process of fondue is. No, the process of fondue when it comes to sh** in chocolate is exactly that. Sh** in chocolate, yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:57 And that's what people most associate with fondue. The meat is almost a forgotten part. But I will say just with melting pot going back to like the 70s, this is what they have always been. Sure. So our lack of familiarity with that process isn't necessarily they did it wrong. It's just we didn't know the process.

Starting point is 00:57:14 I'm in the amateur here. I'm not as good of a cook. So I'm constantly risking under or over cooking my food. Right. And I'm not able to just have casual conversation. I'm balancing all of these different mathematical equations. I did feel like I deserved a plaque in a glass case at the front of my restaurant,

Starting point is 00:57:31 or home when Steve went to pull out a chicken that had only been in there for two minutes. You say it doesn't have any, and I was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, that's chicken. You wanted six to eight minutes. There's life. I could have sworn chicken was two to three. I'm like, it's chicken.

Starting point is 00:57:43 I'm sure there's a lot of food poisoning that happens at the melting pot because there's no way on any given night that someone's not under doing a chicken here or there. Yeah. They should also give you a little pH kits and you can test for amounts of Ecoli, a little Ebola, you know.

Starting point is 00:57:59 Picture the chlorine levels are right. Yeah, that's all part of the fun. Yeah. The more work and stress and things to keep track of, the more relaxed you can be. So all this said, it was a very stressful situation. And you know what? I would go so far as to say the stress level of doing this was way too much. This is way too much.

Starting point is 00:58:22 That's right. I'm giving this week's, this is way too much award to the pure calculations and math involved to making the meat course work. Wow, that's a top-up. That's a top-up. That's a top-up. Wow, that's a top-up. That's a top-up.

Starting point is 00:58:36 It is very coveted. There's always a drum roll, please. Yeah, I mean, it was stressful, even though I do feel like I got a good handle on it personally and I felt like my food always tasted the way it was supposed. I never got one where I was like, oh, I definitely messed that up. Even still just the amount it had to run through my mind was way too much. Yeah, you want to casually relax, especially when you're spending that much money. Like if the value proposition was, here, have this discount food, you cook it yourself and save a little bit of cash, then it's like maybe, but if you're already spending this

Starting point is 00:59:14 pricey amount, you're paying for the service of a chef to prepare it perfectly. Yeah, of course, you do expect a quality to be there, and if you have the accountability and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't know if I can handle this responsibility. Yeah, it's, and again, it's boiling steak. Come on. So let's get into actually talking about how we liked the dishes. Sure. Or didn't. I mean, the meat was to me, mediocre, the, the, the, the, the chocolate were the things to rave about from there. Well, let's go through each one. So we had the chicken breast. This was my lowest score of the meats. But I think Steve was really into the chicken specifically. I tended to dip this one.

Starting point is 00:59:50 They had a curry sauce. And I found myself pairing the chicken with all the pepperyness to it. I thought it went well with the curry, but even still, I'm going five out of 10 on the chicken. Sure. Yeah, I could go six. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:03 There was the shrimp obviously meant to go with the cocktail sauce. Cocktail sauce, I thought it had a very horse radishy bite. Like, you really felt it in your sinuses. Which I like. My first bite I was literally like, is there wasabi in that? Yeah, I like wasabi. I do, I like, no, it's good.

Starting point is 01:00:18 They went hard on the wassab's. And I thought the shrimp was pretty good. It was fine, but I mean, it's like when you're cooking it yourself, really the quality of the shrimp is how well it was cooked. So it's like, you gave me some raw shrimp, and I boiled it properly. But at the end of the day, the taste is what matters. And I, I will put this disclaimer out there.

Starting point is 01:00:39 I feel like I cooked everything as well as I was supposed to. So my scores are going to reflect your variance in mind. Sometimes some things were over, some things were okay. I don't think I ever undercooked anything. Yeah, so I'm gonna go seven out of 10 on the shrimp. I actually, I love the shrimp quite a bit. I'm with you on that. Then there's the Memphis style dry rub pork.

Starting point is 01:00:59 I was not into it. I had a couple of bites where I kind of forced myself to savor the texture and be like, okay, this is a little like. The texture was a bad part. Ah, I thought it was a little pulled porky before you pull it. It was like pre-pulled pork. I think I just overcooked mine. It was just too chewy.

Starting point is 01:01:18 Yeah, I think mine turned out okay. I got it right, even still. I had it at a 6.5 out of 10. I'm going for, I would rather have like a nice, you know, properly cooked piece of pork. Now they had like a plum sauce and they also had a teriyaki sauce. And I thought that the pork went really well

Starting point is 01:01:38 with the teriyaki. Yeah, with the sweet, which on the dry road I didn't expect. Both the sweets went well with the pork, yeah. Yeah. Then we had the two steaks, the garlic pepper steak. I thought was the better of the two steaks. My first bite I wasn't super impressed,

Starting point is 01:01:51 and then the other three that I had really shine through and I could taste the garlic. I actually tried this steak with each one of the sauces and liked all of them. I went seven and a half out of 10 on the garlic pepper steak. I preferred the tariaki steak. I'll go 10 on the garlic, garlic pepper steak. I prefer the teriyaki steak. I'll go five on the garlic sticks on the teriyaki.

Starting point is 01:02:08 I mean, because I'm comparing this in my mind to like, really good steaks I've had. Of course. There's no way it's approaching that. And I thought that with the teriyaki, the like sweetness of it was almost a distraction from the meat. It yes. To where I was just like, I would rather just taste like the good meat. I'll say it one more time.

Starting point is 01:02:25 If you're boiling steak, it's just never gonna turn out as good as if you make it on the grill. The real star of the show for me was that added lobster tail. I got it, came with its own extra dipping sauce, which was like a Dijon butter. And you're kind of crapping over the concept of boiling, only for steak.

Starting point is 01:02:45 Okay. This might be maybe my new favorite preparation of lobster. I mean, I guess typically you do boil a lobster, but specifically with all the infused the wine, garlic, green onion, all that in the sauce, the cocavine, I really, really like this lobster. I went eight out of ten. Yeah, I think for seafood, it's boiling as good. It reached the level of great.

Starting point is 01:03:09 I would call that a great lobster tail. Nice. Not the best I've ever had, but very good. Surprisingly good was the raw mushroom to boil in there. I did enjoy the mushroom. That soaked up a lot of flavors, very savory. I had it at the very end where it had all the juices to pull from from all the meats that had been cooked in there.

Starting point is 01:03:28 It's a very flavorful mushroom. I'm probably going like seven out of 10 on that one mushroom. I'll go seven point five. And then on the potatoes, they were the dates were a little, they were dumb. They were dumb. There were so many better potatoes I've had in my life. It was like, because of, again, the way it in my life It was like a because of again the way it's cooked It was like kind of melee in the middle. It's just like come on

Starting point is 01:03:50 Yeah, I went five and a half on the potato you want an oven bake potato. You don't want a boiled potato I mean a potato is a potato as long as it's like technically cooked right and Unless you're boiling it for a long long time like in a stew and it like melts in your mouth But if you're doing a quick boil on a potato, it just does not turn out. I liked it though, yeah, five and a half. Next, lightly above mediocre. Okay.

Starting point is 01:04:12 Give a number. Yeah, I'll give it a four. Are you trying to show me your nipple? What are you doing? BEEP. If I say BEEP is over a prolonged period of time, are you gonna bleep the whole thing? But I'm just like,

Starting point is 01:04:25 sh**. I'll bleep the part where like you close the word with the letter S, like how they bleep hole on asshole, but you still hear ass. So lastly, we get to dessert. Yeah, this was the star of the show. So we got the Rocky Road chocolate fondue,

Starting point is 01:04:44 this had dark chocolate with marshmallow cream, and it was flambéed over candied pecans. Yes. And the flambé, they are server literally lit the pot on fire because I mean, that's what flambé is. And he told me, like, hey, take your tongs, stir it up. And he's like, eh, you want to be interactive and encouraging me to put my hands towards an open flame.

Starting point is 01:05:05 And I got a little nervous. I got a little, my heart was racing as I'm trying to stir the flame into the rest of the thing. Your heart was a flutter on date night. This was super good. And it came with a platter that had shortbread, it had rice, crispy treat, a chocolate marshmallow, a graham cracker covered marshmallow,

Starting point is 01:05:24 banana, strawberry, a brownie, and a chocolate chimplondie. Yeah. I loved this. I thought most of the dippers were at least good. Yeah. Like the shortbread didn't have enough texture to really stand out, but it was still good. But like strawberry and banana, strong things to dip chocolate in.

Starting point is 01:05:44 I really like those. Yeah, it can't go wrong. The like Strawberry and Banana, strong things to dip chocolate in. I really like those. Yeah, it can't go wrong. The blondie I thought was my favorite thing. Yeah. Just cause it had a texture where there were actual chocolate chips in it. So it's covered in this rocky road, Marshmello chocolate fondue. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:58 And then you get the texture of the crunch. It was close to perfection. Yeah. Given just the variety of dipobles, I'll say like the best one I had, which I would say is the blondie. I gave like a nine out of 10 to the worst, I would probably call the shortbread.

Starting point is 01:06:13 And that was like a, still like a seven out of 10. So between a seven and a nine on this, sure. Very tasty. Sure, I mean, I thought it was phenomenal, but only because I'm leaving room for like, even more fantastic desserts that I've had, I'm gonna stay in eight. Yeah, this was a great way to close out the meal,

Starting point is 01:06:33 and we were pretty full heading into it, but at no point were any of us like, I've got reservations, and he gave us an out. He was like, okay, is the chocolate is this gonna be for two, or is this gonna be for three? Our server like, we just don't know who he was giving me out to. Yeah, one of you gets an out, but two of you have to stay.

Starting point is 01:06:52 Yeah. Overall on the food, I'm gonna go one thumb up, and it's a pretty firm one thumb up. Like the food here was good. Yeah. The stress level of all the dipping, specifically with the meat, that kind of knocks it a little bit. The steak level of all the dipping specifically with the meat, that kind of knocks it a little bit.

Starting point is 01:07:07 The steak quality wasn't as good as I would want as, you know, as I would have wanted more. It's like a $40 meat selection. Yeah, yeah. Of course you expect more. If I was going again, I would stick with only the sh**s in the chocolate. There's no reason to go meat.

Starting point is 01:07:22 Really? Yeah. Oh, I would absolutely go meet again. Well, because you like just, I might just go lobster. Right. I might be like, you know what, let's just do the thing that I am confident that I like.

Starting point is 01:07:32 A boilable meat like seafood, yes. Yeah. There's no reason to boil other kinds of meat. They did actually have a full seafood offering that had salmon. That would be the way to go, I suppose. But even salmon, I wouldn't boil Nah, yeah, I don't know and maybe it goes better with a different

Starting point is 01:07:51 Boyleable you want like a big-luxon style and lobster like a seafood boil. Yeah, but I liked it I mean this was a good dining experience sure safely good want them up. Yeah, I'll join you on that So we went one thumb up across the board in every category We got to put it all together into a rating, but before we do that We got to head to Yelp and see what other people think of the melting pot in this week's Yelp from strangers We need a little Yelp, a little Yelp from strangers One star two star three star four by yine So get a little help a little help from strangers

Starting point is 01:08:36 Give us those complaints while you literally white and dye Yelp All right, this is Yelp from strangers the segment where I go to Yelp and read out my favorite 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 star Yelp reviews from this very melting pot location. Ryan, you did the research on these, you sent me the reviews, literally as the words come out of my mouth will be the first time I've seen these reviews I'm gonna read a five star review. This is from Lance L one year ago He's written 583 L reviews and added over 4,000 pictures The United States of America is described as the great melting pot because of all the cultures

Starting point is 01:09:22 Can I hear this in a more at the Borat accent in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion?

Starting point is 01:09:32 Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion?

Starting point is 01:09:40 Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? Can I hear this in a motion? heritage, values and way of life, a little bit richer, sweeter, and definitely more complex. I feel like he misunderstood the assignment and he's writing about America because he has not gotten to the restaurant yet. The book reported about America. Like our beautiful country, the melting pot, chain of restaurants, is figuratively a representation

Starting point is 01:09:58 of all the things described above. But instead of culture and nationalities being melded together, it's the melding of flavors and aromas They make your meal richer Chips and meat and fondue or sweeter chocolate dessert fondue. I like how twice he's capitalized richer and sweeter Look the dudes got branding to do okay He's trying to get something over with us Yeah And the best thing about the melting pot experience besides the chocolate fondue, of course,

Starting point is 01:10:25 is that you get to do all the cooking yourself at your own pace and there's no dishes to wash after your meal is complete. Is that our typical restaurants for him involving dishes to wash? Yeah, yeah. He usually washes his own dishes. I'm over 40 episodes into this podcast, okay?

Starting point is 01:10:41 I know all about having to wash dishes at Chain Restaurant, it's the norm. For those of you know all about having to wash dishes at Chain Restaurant. It's the norm. For those of you who've yet to experience the magic at the melting pot, this is a great place to recognize all of life's moments, celebrations, and come for those who just love to eat. Thank you, melting pot, 1,000 oaks. For giving us a great celebration for my mom's birthday this year and in years past.

Starting point is 01:11:06 Cheers and happy holidays. Wow, it's the first time he mentioned that the reason was the mom's birthday. The rest of it was just an ode to this great nature. What a patriot. One star with you. All right, Ryan, if you want to continue us with a one star review, this is going to be from Alexandra R from two months ago. And she's real new to this. She's only given six reviews total. She says, that experience,

Starting point is 01:11:32 this place is extremely dark, maybe intending to appear romantically lit, but most likely to hide how run down it is. I mean, after what we saw in that hallway, agreed. I agree. Yeah. The restroom was smelly, dirty, and disgusting, with a stopped-up toilet. You. The hallway leading up to the restroom looked dirty and had a fan blasting on the carpet. Why was there a fan blasting on the house? Maybe there was like a spill or something and they're trying to air it out. She says maybe plumbing issues?

Starting point is 01:12:02 We were hoping to enjoy a nice evening for my daughter's birthday, but it didn't quite work out that way. After stirring the chocolate in the fondue pot, the server said, who's gonna be the lucky one and handed my daughter a hot spoon? She burned her fingers. They gave her some burn ointment while sarcastically saying, and here's my birthday gift to you. I don't think that's how they said. I don't know how nasally the server was, but... Okay, I'm taking some artistic literature. They're trying to make light of putting burnoyment on her to frame it as...

Starting point is 01:12:36 This is a gift to you. Yeah, ex. Her fingers are hurting and blistered. The manager apologized, but didn't seem to care. Also, one person in our party has silly act disease. and blistered the manager apologized but didn't seem to care. Also one person in our party has silly act disease and we had heard that this place is a certified gluten free and safe that even have a sign on their window, we clearly explained that part of our order needed to be gluten free.

Starting point is 01:13:00 The food with gluten, poisonous to one person in our party party was all on the same tray with the gluten free food. Then the sauce tray included one with gluten on the same sauce tray and the server simply said, oh just don't touch that one. I had asked them to bring out one with no gluten near it. We were a party up for and paid over four hundred dollars food only no alcohol. Wow her reading cadence is there her reading cadence is crazy. Her writing cadence is crazy. Yeah, these aren't great. I mean, her daughter was injured. And they were poisoned by gluten.

Starting point is 01:13:36 The poisoned? Poisoned. You can go download our full Yelp from Stranger's segment at our Patreon. The link for that is in the description of this episode, or you can go to patreon.com slash find outting podcast. And we're now offering a one week free trial. So what do you have to lose? Go check it out. People all of our thumb ratings together, package it up into a little score for you. And then figure out where does the melting pot go on the Chachki of mediocrity?

Starting point is 01:14:30 Is it going to be the perfect five point double zero experience that ends the podcast? Or is it going to be somewhere else? Ryan, I will let you go first. Sure. I'm going to go with a seven point.25 because it definitely wasn't getting into greatness of eight and above. But, you know, it was pretty good. If I were factoring in price, it would probably knock it down even further just because it was so expensive. But, um, yeah.

Starting point is 01:14:57 We're actually very close. Now, I've been rating restaurants a little bit longer than you. My decimal points are a little bit more honed. You went just with a round basic ass 7.25. A nice, a nice, fractional number to 7.25. Yeah, to quarter. To quarter. But this wasn't quite there for me. This, to me, was the epitome of a 7.23. Oh, it's a text book. 2.3. It was a textbook 7.23. You got like little a textbook. 6.23. It was a textbook 7.23.

Starting point is 01:15:25 You got like little, little metal detectors in your tongue. When we average together our scores, the melting pot goes up on the Chachki of mediocrity at 7.24. And that means the melting pot is decisively better than mediocre. decisively better than mediocre. Wow. Which actually, it's a little bit of a desert right there. Its nearest competitor is more than 0.2 away that being Outback Steakhouse. Dear Lord, I mean, that's...

Starting point is 01:16:06 That's wild. I love me some Outback, dude. Sure. I really do. I would agree that Outback is a little better. Like, if I had to ask you, would you rather go to a melting potter and Outback? Outback. You're going OB.

Starting point is 01:16:17 It's because of that awesome blossom. Blooming on you. I was gonna say, jeez, how could you say the AB word? I regret it. Canceled. This is some carcyism right here. So because I didn't find the most mediocre restaurant this time, the search continues.

Starting point is 01:16:34 I gotta know, where am I gonna go next time in search of the most mediocre restaurant? To determine that, we gotta play a little game, Ryan. Ooh, we gotta play a little game, Ryan. We gotta play the headline game! The rules of the headline game are as follows. Michael will present three headlines to his co-host that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up, or they can be actual headlines. If the co-host can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real

Starting point is 01:17:05 or fake, they will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if Michael stumps them, he'll select again. Are you ready to play, fellow? I'm ready. Alright, headline number one. The melting pot divides critics with two new sh**s-infused cocktails. Divide critics with two new ch**s. Yeah, that sounds pretty legit to me. Alright, so you're going true? Yeah, true.

Starting point is 01:17:31 Headline number two. Cops jump into large street brawl outside melting pot. No, I'm thinking the jump into large street probably it sounds too Too forced I'm saying false. All right headline number three man arrested at New Jersey melting pot after multiple attempts to burn wife's face I think we're Florida maybe New Jersey. I want to go false. I feel like you don't know that much about New Jersey if you're skepticism here. All right. So first headline,

Starting point is 01:18:06 The Melting Pot divides critics with two new sh**s infused cocktails. You said that's true. I made that one up. That one is false. Nice. headline number two, cops jump into large street brawl, outside melting pot.

Starting point is 01:18:20 You said false. That one actually was true. Wow. And last one, man arrested at New Jersey Melting Pot after multiple attempts to burn wife's face. You said false and you did, in fact, correctly sus out. I made that one up. Okay.

Starting point is 01:18:36 So you went one for three, which means I get to pick where I'm going next time. I want to pick. I get to pick. Sorry. Okay, that's the rules. That's the rules. So I'm going to go to Gordon Beersh Brewery. What? Gordon Beersh Brewery. Is that a chain? Yeah, they're kind of all over the place, but spaced out.

Starting point is 01:18:56 Is he Germanic? Is he Austrian? I will do some research and learn all about that. And then you guys can learn why it's called Gordon Beersh. On the set of time. On the set of time. Well, you're gonna have to wait for the next episode of the fun guy who's survived. He's survived.

Starting point is 01:19:12 I don't know yet. I haven't done the research. Beersh's borched. Ryan, thanks for coming on. Oh, thanks, man. Did you have a fun time? Absolutely, I had a blast. You have a good meal, a good, good,

Starting point is 01:19:23 I mean, more than mediocre. I've got a belly full of dippers. Ryan, is there anything you want to plug or have people follow you on any specific social media or follow you in real life? I recently guested on this podcast to searching for the most mediocre restaurant in America. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:39 People should check it out. Go back to the beginning of this episode. www.google.com and then into the search bar type show me different podcasts. And then follow that. It's really you to see. Find dining on page 472 and look for the quotes around fine. Yeah, it's fine dining. Okay, it's not like the finest dining, but it's fine.

Starting point is 01:20:01 You know, you get it. It's fine. All right, well, we did not find the most mediocre restaurant. The search doesn't fact continue and you can keep up with it on social media at find dining podcast on Instagram and TikTok. Find dining podcast at gmail.com. We'll see you next time. Have a fine day. The search continues. We still need the perfect fine, the search continues Like and subscribe, the search continues Our journey did not conclude, the mother and the search continues Rattles and I, to those reviews

Starting point is 01:20:43 And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars? Come on Follow us on TikTok The same on Instagram All the socials At Find Dining Podcast We have a website Find DiningPodcast.com Buy our T-shirts, then put them on

Starting point is 01:21:18 And don't forget, you can always suggest where we go next. Okay! We're going to find it. Media crafting. The search continues. See you next week! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I heard my throat a little. Have a fine day! Ah!

Starting point is 01:21:48 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh, so you're just gonna do one of these without a job? Maybe you can do it without your precious, stupid, you must pull too.

Starting point is 01:22:08 Ah, now let's start storming. Whatever, the deed is done, I'm gonna go. Okay, bye. I'll be back. you

Fine Dining - The Melting Pot feat. Rhyan Schwartz

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