Fine Dining - Tony Roma's: King of (Chain) Ribs

Episode Date: May 6, 2026

🍖🤖 Tony Roma's Review: Robot Waiters, Trying All the Ribs, and "Champion or Chumpion" 🤖🍖 We're back at Tony Roma's with Gabe Legg (@gabe_legg), and this visit throws us for a loop almost immediately thanks to a ROBOT WAITER gliding through the dining room like Tony Roma's like a better Roomba. Between three different rib styles, Gabe trying lobster tail for the first time ever, and a human waiter who refused to accept me turning down his upsell, this meal was a bizarre little journey. 🍖 Ribs Ad Infinitum: Beef, St. Louis, & Baby Back 🦞 Gabe Tries Lobster Tail for the First Time Ever 🤖 A Robot Waiter Steals the Show 💸 The Human Waiter Judges Me for Declining a Bargain 📺 We Rate the "Show Us Your Rib Face" Contest Winners 🎭 Vibes Swing Wildly Between Medieval Times and Bank Office 🔥 Gabe's Worst Restaurant Experience: Bad Melting Pot Energy 🫕 Gabe's Best Restaurant Experience: Literally The Melting Pot 💬 COMMENT BELOW: Would a robot waiter improve your dining experience, or make it weirder? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY: 🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, extended Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/channel/UCLbraNhL6KhDPkdSWt2yiuw 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: Gabe Legg | IG: @gabe_legg Patreon Producers:Sue Ornelas, Joyce Van, & Robert McLaughlin Patreon Subscribers:David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Travis Langley Free Patreon Followers:Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Michelle Elmer, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, Aaron Hubbard, Steff, Jewell Hermann, Renae Michael, Crystal C. 👉 NEXT WEEK: I dive into the history of Gen Korean BBQ House with Jon Durnell.

Is Tony Roma's the goat of chain restaurant ribs? The baby back ribs were so tender, I'm no longer agnostic, but the waiter shamed me for not accepting his upsell. The secret robot was the best thing I could have never seen coming, but the Photoshop on the menu truly left me just as confused. The onion loaf was the perfect combination of produce and the border wall, but the broccoli tasted like a fart. Since I'm a Texan who loves barbecue, you better believe that I forced us to order all the different types of ribs served at Tony Romans.

I might spend the next 48 hours fading in and out of consciousness, but I do it for you, so I'd say it's worth it. This is the fine dining podcast. I am your host, Michael Ornellis, and this is the first podcast that uses Chili's, the absolute midpoint in-restrant quality, as a point of comparison to see if all other restaurants are good or not good. By the end of this episode, we will answer the question everyone was wondering when the screen cut to black at the end of the Sopranos finale. Is Tony Romas better than Chili's? Today, we're going to tell you everything that was good, not good, and just there about our meal at Tony Romas before we give it a score at the end of the episode.

And joining me today to discuss Tony Romas is an actor, writer, director, delight of a human being and if you were a Japanese macaque that was being bullied, he'd be the first one to get you a plushy from IKEA to make you feel better. It's Gabe Leg. I'm also John Wick. Was that a John Wick reference? That was a punch reference. Do you know punch? No. The monkey? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's a macaque. I'm also a macaque. How you doing? I'm doing great, Michael. How are you? I'm getting a phone call. That's my mom. Hello? Hello? Hi, mom. You're on Michael's podcast five dining. No, I'm not.

You are. Yes, you are. Hi, Michael. Hello. I don't know if you can hear him. He says hello. He says he's good. I'm good.

Michael, thank you for having Gabe on your wonderful podcast. Oh, I love that. Thank you. Of course, he's a delight. You have a connoisseur of all kinds of food. And today it was ribs. Today it was ribs. Ribs.

Yeah, dad would be proud. He comes from a dad who will eat anything and he comes from a mom that still eats like a seven-year-old. And I'm kind of right in between those two things. It's kind of true. I don't eat a dad who eats like a seven-year-old. Okay, we have to talk about ribs now. What was the restaurant of choice really quick?

Tony Ramos. Tony Romas. Tony Romas. Tony Ramos. Yes. Not Romo. Not the football player. Roma.

Roma. Have you been to Tony Romas? No. I have not. Okay. Well, you're not a Tony Roma. Yeah. That's good.

That's good. Okay, think about it in the back of your mind and send me a rating out of 10 with a two point decimal scale and we'll add it. You are trying to get her off the phone so quick. A rating out of 10 with a two point decimal split. So like it could be like a 6.37. Okay. She gets it. Justin, my mom thinks that Tony Roma's is a 6.37. How do we feel? Stay tuned after this break. I am, it's a tough meal. And it's not that it's not good. No, it's just that it sits.

It's heavy. It sits like a stone. Ribs are not a light fare. No. No. And we didn't help ourselves because everything that we had in addition to the ribs was also rich, big things. Yeah. Brownies, fried onions, water.

Broccoli. Broccoli. Fart broccoli. Oh, fart broccoli. Okay. Can I be honest with you? Yeah. I didn't try the broccoli.

Oh, okay. Well, I'll have something to say. about it later, but not in this next segment in a couple segments from now because we're going to dwell in the world of only positive things. Amazing. For the next little while as we jump into The Good.

This is good done like it should be best up that spank or licking the land in the end. I knew that you could. The onion loaf is so unique. It felt like someone brought like, what is it, a pound

cake that you bring to a party? or like an upside down cake or something. Yeah. Like it felt like it had a plastic cover that helped shape it. It does at one point feel like it was built into some kind of non-kitchen safe mold. Yeah. But it was good. Yeah, it has, what are they, PFA's?

Yeah. There's a lot of microplastics. Yeah, yeah. But it was good. It was good. I did like it a lot. Fans of the show, no, I am such a fan of the Blumen Onion. Okay.

I think Outback's Blumen Onion is the perfect appetizer. Sure. And for this to even be reminiscent of it is a strong point. High praise. In its, you know, in the good column for it. Yeah. Taste wise, like the blooming onion, the onion petals are a little bit bigger. Mm.

And just their seasoning blend is different and I think better. Mm. But I did really like this. I did get a couple bites where it tasted like, I don't know, something. was in a walk-in freezer. Oh, 100%. Like, I tasted a little bit of like that, like, freezer burn. Yeah, there was no part of this to me that was good because it was like high dining.

It was good because a fried onion is good, right? Yes. I imagine that I've never had a blooming onion before, but I imagine that there's like a lot to the point where if you were just having the onion sauce free or anything, you're still like, this is good. It's well-season. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yada, yada.

This was literally fried onion and then the sauce was good. And that was good in its own right. And so what I'm going to say, is my first bite of it without sauce. I was like, I'm a little worried about this. It is still good. It is still a fried onion. But I guess I was overwhelmed.

Then I had it with the sauce. The sauce sold me. And the sauce did so much legwork between the ribs and this. Yes. When you find a good sauce, it's okay to use it as a crutch. It is okay. Because a good sauce makes or breaks a meal. Although I'm a hypocrite.

because I have started liking Raising Cains more. Have you had Raising Cains? I will talk about Raising Cains. Oh. But I do think that if they seasoned their chicken, in addition to having a good sauce, they would be so much better. Yes, yes.

The sauce is doing a lot of the work. So anything where it's just like you got to get the sauce, no, make the thing good and then the sauce is gravy on top. Yeah. And to specify the sauce was a barbecue sauce. It was the, I think it was just called the original beef. Their original B.BQ sauce. Yeah.

To me, it was very ketchup forward, which sometimes is bad because just a ketchup. They hit a really good balance. They had a really good balance. It reminded me of like a Japanese katsu sauce, which is strange to say out loud. But that's one of my favorite sauces. So it worked really well for me. I liked it a lot. Yeah.

What are your top four sauces? I love a Japanese katsu. Is that number one? I would say in its proper context, yes, it's probably my number one. Okay. Because I'll also put it on like, I'll put it on like a rice and chicken. and just like regular dish as well. It's a good everything sauce, in my opinion.

Yeah. I like a cane sauce. I hate to say it. A cane sauce is very, very good. I like a Chipotle aoli. Yeah, I think that's good. Just a little bit spice. And I'm starting to like hot honey.

I like hot honey. I want to like hot honey more than I think I do in practice. You know what it is. I think I specifically like certain hot honeys. And that is slowly winning me over to the concept of hot honey as a whole. Where really it's like just like, I like a select few hot honeies. I don't know what my top four are,

but I know my top two. There's a place, Freddy's frozen custard and steak burgers. I love a Freddy's. Freddy's jalapeno fry sauce. Yep. Is killer. My home used to have a big old vat of Freddy's fry seasoning.

And we would put it on fucking everything. I put it on everything. Can we swear? Yeah, I guess. We put it on freaking everything. Yeah. And then the salt lick barbecue sauce. The Salt Lake is a barbecue joint out of Texas.

I think that their meats are good, not great. Their sausage is really good. But the thing that makes them is like their ambiance, incredible. Out in the middle of nowhere, like next to a vineyard, you smell like the smoky wooden barbecue from like a mile driving in. And it's like delicious. And it's like all wooden and grass and nature. It's great.

And the sauce. The sauce is. it's like a mustard-based barbecue sauce and it's so freaking good. I'm not normally a barbecue sauce guy. It's not like I'm never going to go first for one. I liked this one a lot. Yeah.

Yeah, me too. So literally my writing for the onion loaf, not at the bloomin onion level, but good. Tasted frozen, but still flaky and good enough. 7.5 out of 10. I would put it very comfortably in that range as well. Yeah. Maybe I would honestly maybe put it a touch higher.

Because I ain't never had a blooming onion. Was that Australian? No, that was, I was doing like a, like a Brooklyn. Could you do it as Australian? Oh, what do Australian people sound like? Australian people sound off in the comments. Brecky. Brecky.

That's all I know. I never had a blooming onion, mate. Honestly? Not bad. Yeah. All right, give me, what's the good for you? My, should I give you like one of my top goods? Sure.

Sure. My top good. That's probably our little friend, right? My top good of the day was the secret robot. Yeah. When we sat at that table and we had just a regular dude, come take our order. I was like, this is, Juan. That was his name.

That was his name. I just forgot until right now. Oh. And I'm amazed you remembered. You're a good person, Michael. This was an hour ago. No. That drive was an hour already.

Okay. When we got there and we just, like, Juan said us at us at our table. he takes our order. I was like, this is a restaurant at 11 o'clock in the morning. And then we're sitting there. We're eating our, no, we're drinking our, no, we're drinking. We're not eating anything. We're sitting there. And a little robot comes wheeling around the corner. I was like, this can't be real. I literally thought like, I thought it was like someone with an electric wheelchair at first. Yeah. Like, because it was, it was from my periphery and I was just like, oh, let me clear my legs out of the aisle. And then it stopped and lingered at our table. And I looked up. And there's our own. And there's our own. onion loaf. Just sit in there. In a shell. Like a beautiful golden crown atop this robot's head. It was amazing.

It was so delightful. That was the moment where everything changed for me where I was like, hey, this might actually be pretty good. This might be a delightful time. This might be pretty good, mate. Is it getting a little cockney? Well, I mean, it was colonial. True.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's okay. Yeah. But I love the robot. The robot was my favorite little thing. The best part about the robot. robot was that the robot could only get the food to the table and then the waiter did still have

to move everything off of the robot onto the table. Yes. Which we could have done by hand, but we were not allowed to. Were we not allowed to? I just assumed. I felt like, I was like, should I be helpful? Like, but when he reached for the onion loaf and put it in front of me, I felt shame. I felt like a lazy POS for just getting this robot wheels food up to your table. No, it was like arms reach from me. And it's like when someone like takes your plate. Yeah. Because you're a. guest in their home, but you're at the sink with it anyways. Right. It's like, I could have done that, you know?

Yeah, no, it's truly a brutal sensation. That's how I feel any time. Like, if I'm at a restaurant, this happened to be recently, we were at a restaurant and a waiter dropped a glass behind us and it broke, which happens. Yeah. And my gut instinct was to get up and start helping clean it up. And then I was like, that's not my job. I should do that, but I want to.

But then because you had the instinct and then suppressed it, you feel an extra level of shame. Yeah. Because now I'm like, I know there's a part of me that wanted to go up and help. And I didn't. Yeah. And to be fair, as a waiter, I wouldn't want some rando to come help me either. Yeah.

So I was like, this is best for everybody. But it feels bad inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that robot, he was cute. I got excited. The only thing I wanted more from it was like, like an entrance music. Yeah, I wanted a song or dance. I don't want to wait for your food to get colder.

Like, that's what I want that robot to be singing. Yes. And I wanted to have a little face. Did it not? Oh, it had a screen that's at our table member. It had a scrolling. side panel that was like, thank you for dining at Tony Roma's.

Yeah. It did have the equivalent of an iPad strapped to the back of it. Yeah. Really strange machine. They should have face-timed like Gary Oldman or something. Yeah, Gary Oldman should have brought us our food facetiving in.

Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory style on a little iPad screen. No, thank you. You like that hip reference? I hate the Big Bang Theory. Banzinga. All right. I have the Sidewinder fries in good. Okay.

We got two different types of fries. Yes. We had just regular French fries and then you can pay for an upgraded side of sidewinder fries. Yeah. And we won't harp on the regular fries too much in this category for obvious reasons. Not even harp on. Won't bring it up. No.

I thought the sidewinder fries were fine. So you'll talk about them later. I was like their fries. I think the contrast to the other fries made me appreciate them more. But they were seasoned. And it was like it wasn't quite the standard curly fry seasoning, but it was like in that direction. and then just like a fun little shape, kind of like a shaved, like crescent.

Yeah, you know what I think? I think they, and this might be just me, I think they need to be a little warmer. Well, that's because I have to take like prom photos of all the food beforehand. And so that was really me making a comment on you in your process. I have to document it. But they had a good crisp texture.

I thought that they were worth the upgrade. I went seven out of ten. Sure. Should we just get to the big one? Let's go to, yeah. I thought the baby back ribs were the best part of the meal. My first note I wrote was OMG, which doesn't happen often. It was jarring, jarring how good they were.

Because I, look, can I be real? Mm-hmm. I do a podcast about chain restaurants, and I would not have chosen to do that if I didn't genuinely love chain restaurants. Yeah. Or fast food restaurants. Yeah. I do love those in theory. and in history growing up loved them.

I have noticed in about the time period since I started doing the podcast, I don't know if it's downriver of the pandemic being the root of this. But I've noticed a drastic drop in food quality. And it feels like most chains are now owned by private equity, who then cut corners on ingredients. and they're just sacrificing the quality of food. And I know Chili's really, you know, they have a song about it. They've pushed baby back ribs so hard.

And when I went there to record my own song about Chili's baby back ribs, I ordered the ribs and got the driest, blandest piece of meat. And I've gotten ribs at other chain restaurants that fit that description of they're just not trying. They're not good. The heart and soul of what the founder intended your experience to be is gone. Yeah. And it's so upsetting to see how consistent across the board at chain restaurants that is. So I'm not losing my love of chain restaurants, so to speak, but I am starting, like, the bloom is off the road is a little bit of like, yeah, yeah.

So my expectation going into today was jaded. We admittedly walked in with a little bit of a, this is probably not going to be great. And solely on the reputation of because it's a chain. Right. We have no experience with the place. No, we thought it was Italian food. We thought it was Italian food. Tony Roma's has to be.

It has to be. And what we got, I don't even think is just because expectations are low. No, no, it was a damn good rib. This was such a good baby back rib. tender, which is tougher on a baby back rib. Usually the St. Louis rib is supposed to be, you know, fatty or meatier. Oh, interesting. And a beef rib other than like it's harder to chew off the bone, but you can get some really tender.

Right. Almost brisket-esque like fatty chunks on that. The baby back, because it's leaner, I think is harder to get this tender. And yet. And yet. Fell right off the bone. And I'm like, oh my God, I get it. This place pushing ribs.

They should be. They should be. Yeah. The combo of that being their like staple rib and the sauce being as good as it was. The sauce ruled. It was great. It was really, really good. I'm not one, like, I'm not usually like a big rib guy.

I told you this. My dad is a big rib dude. Yeah. And normally my testament of if a rib is good or not is when my dad orders ribs if he offers me one. Yeah. And this is one where I was. was like, I know that one rib in, my dad is, is handing me one of these and saying, try this rib.

And it was good. It was very, very good. I went eight and a half out of ten. I would dare to give it like a solid. Oh, it's great to excellent. And is this in the concept of ribs or isn't this in the concept of all foods? I would, I would feel confident giving this a solid eight. Yeah.

Yeah. As a not, as a non-rib guy, this is the best rib I've had. Really? Well, I don't have a lot of rice. You got to go to Texas. I got to go to Texas. My two favorite places got Michelin starred and I felt so valid. Nice.

Yeah. No, there's a place called La Barbecue and there's a place called Interstellar Barbecue. Interstellar does a peach tea glazed pork belly. That is kind of their standout signature item that's really good. That sounds good. La Barbecue just kind of does the basics, but they do it so well. Sure. They do a beef rib that's like dinosaur bone.

Like it's like the size of your forearm. Dang. And it's so good. And that one is like not tough to chew. Right. Like this one kind of was. And then their brisket's incredible. Dang, dang.

Next time I'm on. And we're in Texas. And we're in Texas. Both those conditions. I don't know. If you went to Colorado. That's true. That is true.

I have the ranch style beans in the good. There was a seasoning. I think cayenne is what. That seemed to be what we kind of settled on. But it was very something familiar forward up top and then that settled as like you continued to eat it. And it really worked. for it. It did not feel like a bean. Like, you know? It felt like it had a purpose for being on the

plate aside from just being a staple. Yeah. I was like, oh, I understand why this is here. It's good. It serves a purpose. It's such an overlookable side. And for them to be like, no, we'll put some attention into making this. And there were some sides that were overlooked. And so the fact that this one wasn't, it was like, oh, you can tell this one has like a little extra. I don't 7.8 out of 10. Dang. These are a good side. Yeah, I would put this bean somewhere in like a high six. High six.

High six. But I'm not a big bean guy. Got a little bean guy. Yeah, I'm a little bean guy. Yeah, take that out of context. Whoa. The beef rib I have in good as well. I think it was a little smokier or like peppery for than what I would prefer.

and that might not even be true. Like in some Texas barbecue is even smokier than this. It felt like it was smoky or peppery in a way that wasn't fully committing to being smoky or peppery. Sure. And therefore it didn't pair as well with the barbecue sauce. Yes, yes. The texture was fantastic, especially on the fatty end of the beef rib, I thought. Yeah, I personally, but the texture of the beef rib was what docted a little bit for me.

I liked the flavor of the beef rib a lot. The experience of the beef rib was lesser for me, comparative to the luxury of the baby back rib. I do think with a beef rib, there's a lot of like, I'm going to have to floss later. That was 100% my experience. Yeah. Yeah.

It was good, though. The taste of it was very good. Yeah. And I thought with the sauce, it was a solid seven. Yeah, I would feel comfortable putting it somewhere in that ballpark. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

That feels about right to me. Give me another good. the crazy menu design. Wait, you have that in the good? I have it a few places. Okay, what's your take for the good? It was so funny. So this is like watching us so bad, it's good movie.

It was like watching a so, like it gave me such solid joy to flip through this, this terrible, terrible, terrible looking menu. Yeah. Just truly awful. Nothing, nothing looked good in the menu. No, when you looked at the menu alone, all of it looked bad. I wanted to. Maybe some of the ribs and stuff looks good on the menu, but besides that, everything else looked terrible.

Yeah. I wanted to go to, like, one of the other restaurants in the complex. Quite literally. And we were in a lively complex. Yes. Bathroom very clean. Bathroom very clean. And the St. Louis ribs also made it into the good for me.

I did put the St. Louis ribs in the good at the bottom of them. Same. I gave it a six. Yeah. Of the three, it was my least favorite. Yeah, when it would be doing it a disservice to give it a worse score than that, simply because the baby back ribs were so good. Look, famous for ribs, rib forward.

They'd know what they're doing. Yeah, yeah. I thought that the texture was a little dry. I agree. And the meat pulled right off the, so like, it wasn't fully a textural problem. No. Because it did pull off, but it just was a little dry. I don't know if it was like over smoked or overcooked or whatever.

Yeah, that's what I was, that was leaning in that direction as well. It gave me all of the same fondness that I had for the baby back in terms of like the quality of it. it, but there was a dryness. And if the differentiating factor between St. Louis ribs and baby back ribs is proximity to the stomach and you usually assume that like pork belly is fattier and usually more flavorful, this wasn't, no, that, no. This didn't have a lot of fat on it. And I kind of wanted that flavor.

I agree. So, and like got more of that from the baby back, which feels weird. It was frankly, that was the rib that I was expecting when we, were walking in. Yeah. You know, I was expecting that to be our top quality rib. And for that being our third, not bad. I'm happy with that.

Yeah. Six out of ten. And then the last thing, I have the brownie Sunday in the good. Oh, I liked the brownie. Yeah. Where did I put the brownie? Did you not write it because it was last? No, I did put the brownie in the just there and I'll tell you why.

But after we talked about why it was good. I mean, honestly, it's also pretty close to the cusp for me. I thought it tasted more breedy than chocolate. Okay, this is crazy that you have the brownie in the good category because I remember you're not really liking the brownie. And this is where we go with like, but a brownie is just a higher scoring food. But a brownie is a higher scoring food. And you're so right about that. My grape with the brownie was that it was small.

But if you were getting it just for like two, perfect size. Yeah, we got it for three. We got it for three. And we were full. We were stuffed. It was good for our purposes. It genuinely felt like a game of hungry, hungry hippos. It did.

We were competing. just going for the little balls and trying to every single time that one of the scoops was revealed and a brownie was gone. I heard a cannon fire go off in the distance. Hunger Games reference. Oh, I'm 23. I like the brownie.

No, I like the brownie. I thought it was good. I think the brownie is a perfect end of date dessert. It is. At Tony Romas. And I think it. It was light. Some brownies feel heavy.

That was not a heavy brownie. No. And it was warm. Mm-hmm. But the warmth cooled off quickly, one, because of ice cream and two, because it was thin. Yes, but the ice cream was good. The ice cream was very good. The ice cream, I don't feel like I noticed that much, but.

And I had what I want. Yeah, I've had ice cream that, like, uh-uh. Yes. What I liked about the ice cream was that I couldn't clearly tell that it was just like a generic pre-packaged vanilla or whatever. It was like, I was like, oh, this has some. something to it. Yeah.

That I'm like, this is a Tony Roma's ice cream. And then the, it was on a bed of whipped cream. Bed of whipped cream. That was a little strange. Yeah. I won't lie.

It was like the, I won't lie. And not even on it. Spoons stuck in the whipped cream. It was kind of like they just, uh, whipped creamed around the bread, like a frame.

Yeah. Yeah. Framed in whipped cream was strange, but pretty good. Yeah. So I also went six out of 10, which for a brownie is low. Yes.

I feel good with a six out of 10 for that brownie. Okay. So are you moving. moving into the good, or are you still calling it just there despite being a six? A promotion. Promoted to good. Yeah, cool. That's all the good for me.

That's all the good for me. Let's jump into everything that was not good. Yeah, this restaurant sucked. This is not so good. I'm not quite sure about. It could have done with that it. Something brings down the mood. I got rib shamed.

You did get rib shamed. So on the menu, they- What was that about, Juan? our waiter. Okay. There were three of us. I wanted to get three types of ribs. They had four,

but one of them was kind of just a variation of the same one. They had a beef short rib and then a beef rib. And the difference would have just been like it comes with like mushrooms and a couple of other things on it. I wanted the smaller portion of all three types of ribs because ordering three full racks or three like large options is crazy. Yes. Because eating a full rack of ribs on your own when you're also having sides, dessert is already a lot. It's a lot. Notoriously a lot.

So I was like, I want the half rack of it. Or I want the smaller portion of everything. It's not necessarily half versus full. Which for some options, we could get smaller amounts. The baby back, we were able to get a smaller amount. The beef ribs were able to get just three. Thank you God. Well, the baby back that we got came with lobster.

Yes. And the lobster tail and half rack, perfect portion. Great. Yes. Great amount. Didn't have to negotiate with the way to that. No. Beef rib came in three, four, or six. Yeah, we just ordered three.

Three was perfect. But the St. Louis had two options, the Roma rack or the full rack. Mm-hmm. The price difference is $1. Roma rack $36.99, full rack 3799. And the difference was three ribs. Eight versus 11. Mm-hmm.

I told him, I would like the Roma rack. And he said, it's just one dollar more. And I'm like, sir, this isn't about value. This is about portion. We're not going to eat the other ribs. No. Even if it's just an extra buck. Why am I paying for it?

Not that I didn't get this heated at the table. No, no, no. But it was very much irrespectful. Like, no, we're going to go with the lower portion. It's okay. And he was like, but it's just a little bit. The dog. Absolutely bad.

It was as if no one has ever made this choice once in their life. And then when they came, we got 12. We got an extra rib somehow. An extra rib on top of the three extra ribs. So our theory is that no matter what, it's a trial. No matter what, it doesn't matter. They give you the full thing. They give you the full thing.

And it's just, do you have the principle to resist value in which case you score a little bit more? I'm sorry, it's insane for $1. It's also insane that the difference is 8 and 11 because I would expect a half rack and a full rack because when someone orders a half rack, you then have a half rack remaining to sell. Yeah. Whereas when someone orders 8 out of 11, makes no sense. What are you doing with the three extra ribs? That is why it made perfect sense to me when you put it in the context of I think no matter what, they just give you the full thing. I think so.

But that's why they really, really try to sell that extra dollar, which is crazy because if that's their business model, why is it one dollar? Just do it. Just say this is the price. Yeah. Take the option away. Yes. And to be fair, we're speculating. There could be a world in which they said, I just give them the whole thing. But don't you dare. Don't. Rib shame me. No. Because I have a little thing called willpower and fiduciary immaturity. to where even if the value per rib is much better for a dollar more, I don't want the higher portion. No. When I know I'm not going to eat it. Because let's face it, sometimes bringing food home,

is this another restaurant hot take? You tell me. Sometimes bringing food home leftovers, just not worth it. I so often am just bringing it home for the appearance. Yeah. And then you bring it home, you look at it in my own trash. Then you throw it away. Yeah. Because because some food is just not going to make it home well. Some stuff doesn't carry well. And some stuff you're in your car all day. Also, I'm going out to eat because I'm not a great cook. Even reheating something, I'm going to dry it out. And ribs. Ribs are not going to reheat well.

Yeah. What am I microwaving? One of my boiling. Yeah. So like I go to restaurants because I don't want to deal with preparing. my own food. Yes. Because I'm not good at it. French fries. Lame. French fries were lame.

I wrote gummy. They were gummy. Like there was like a little like a burst. I never would have contextualized it in that way, but the second you said it, you are correct. That is what was wrong with them. They were just like ultimately texturaless rubbery fries. Not crispy at all.

No, no. Uninspired, no seasoning. No, it's just the most plain fry in the world, which sometimes is like what you kind I get it if their sauce is their big appeal, but it's a French fry. Throw some salt and pepper on that. And then I did pepper on. Throw some salt and pepper on that, my barbie. On the barby.

Greta Gerwig. I went four out of ten, which is probably too generous. I would frankly put them a little bit lower. I think I'm feeling a three. In my bad, I wrote all potatoes, regular fries very bad. Oh, I didn't write down the mashed potatoes. Match potatoes. I also thought were not good.

Yeah, I haven't been not good. Any potato product, I was not personally a fan. Yeah. You know what have made those mashed potatoes get better, though? Just like some kind of like cheese. If there was like a cheese mixed into the mashed potatoes, I think that would have done them a little bit better. There was like a nice bacon to it.

There was like a little bit of the butter, scampini butter. Oh, yeah, let's talk about it. Can we talk about it? One of my bads, the menu design. It was scimipi. It was scimipi. Yeah. Skimipi.

The menu design was terrible. Yeah. But I do want to score the mashed potatoes. Yes. Yes. It's three and a half. Three and a half. It was like bacon chives and like the bacon's so minimal.

Yes. Not even. Yes. But I can't express enough. If there was a little bit of cheese in the mashed potatoes, I really think they would have been so much better. Honestly, looking at the way that cheese looked on the menu picture, it did not look right. No, it didn't look great. No, it didn't look great.

No, I think those mashed potatoes were doomed from the start. Yeah. And then steamed broccoli, I wrote, tasted like a fart. Steaming is just not like saute. Yeah. Saute it. Put a little grill, grill action on there.

Yeah, a little bit of a char. Two out of ten. It literally went into my mouth and it felt like someone farted in my mouth. It's a broccoli. Yeah. It's a broccoli. Okay. What were you going to say?

The menu. Yes. The menu was insane. Yeah. It was insane. It was funny. It was really, really funny,

but it was terrible. It did not make anything look appetizing. So you flip to the burger page. Mm-hmm. Just out of curiosity alone, and I'm flipping through. And I want to say, it was like when someone like calls dibs on like,

like the talking pillow. Yeah. I altered conversation. It's my turn to talk. But they said the thing that you were about to point out. I don't know if you know that. No. I thought that the top bun on all of the burgers looked suspicious.

Yeah. And then you said what you said, which I will allow you the floor. Oh. Here's the talking pillow. Michael. That's so kind of you. Thank you. It was crazy.

The menu was insane. First glance, every single burger looked like the worst burger. you could possibly imagine in the world. Yeah. Maybe I don't like mushrooms, but that mushroom burger looked disgusting. But then upon further investigation, every single burger was just a flat PNG of a burger photoshopped onto a different picture of a plate, often full plates of fries that they just put a burger on top of. It was, it was astoundingly bad.

It was embarrassing. Yeah. And it was funny. It was funny because clearly they had pictures of burgers. And a funny menu is more important than a good menu. Yeah. Yeah. When you're going out to eat, I would rather have a funny menu that doesn't give me the information I need than a good menu that's just boring.

No, this was dumb. It was dumb. It was crazy. And like, and not good Photoshop. Like, no, bad. The edge of the burger was off the curvature of the plate. Yeah. You could clearly tell that it was a full plate of fries.

and they just put the burger kind of in front of them. It was insane. It was hilarious. But it was very funny. I really liked it a lot. So despite it being in the very bad, I have a soft spot in my heart for it. And then it said for the lobster came with a scampy butter. Scampy butter.

It said scimipi. And that is silly. It was silly. That's all I have for not good. I only had all of that for not good as well. Well, now we're going to close it out by talking about all the things that are just there. Beautiful.

This is a weird one. I sure what to say. First thing's first. Dope light fixture overhead. I liked the ambiance of the restaurant as a just there. There was kind of like a new age art element. Yeah. Like it was like a sculpture where it was like metal on the downward facing size and

and illumination on the upward facing side. I was picturing, you know, in like a 14 year old's bedroom, the strips that put. Are you in the files? No, I'm too young for that. You know, in like a 14 year old bedroom, they have like the gamer lights along the top corner of the room. It reminded me of those. Like the LED strips. Yeah, but like curved along in space and hung up as lights. Which was fun. Honestly, it may have been like accomplished with some method like that. It did look cool. It looked cool until you look at the restaurant as a whole. And suddenly you start to realize that nothing is in the same restaurant. Nothing

cohesive. No, there's no cohesive. First of all, banquet style glass doors that felt like a like a bank conference room that truly provided no privacy or lack of privacy yeah they were truly there just to be something you have to kind of walk around and they weren't even like oh this is like the group dining area because it's still just just a regular tables of four in there yeah i really liked the the looking at this you have glass walls sliding doors fancy cool lighting medieval bunting hanging hanging from the ceiling. Overhead, off the ceiling, kind of like dusty and dirty. Maybe there since before this business was even a Tony Roman. I think they maybe do not belong to Tony. I think they were there

and no one took them down. Flags hanging. Yeah. That looked like medieval time patterns. It's crazy. Yeah. I felt like I should be hearing nice madrigal tunes while eating my ribs. I thought we had to pick like which night we were cheering for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Suddenly the lights above us turn green and we're like, oh, okay, I guess we're in this lighting for the rest of the meal. Yeah. Have you been, you've been to medieval times? Yeah, it's up here on the board. Pretty low.

You did not like it. It's pretty low. You did not like it. I'm going to medieval times later this month. Well, that's, just want to let you know that. I hope it's good for you. The first time I went to medieval times, they sat us in the green section. Green lights come on.

They bring out the rotissory chicken. I don't know if you've ever seen a rotissory chicken under purely green lighting. It looks like it's in the process of bleeding out. Well, I saw it under purely red light. lighting when I was there. And let me tell you, it also looks that way. That's crazy.

Also, they call it baby dragon. Oh, that's cruel. You know what I think is insane about it? You need to listen to my medieval times episode. I really do, and I'm going to.

Because I wrote a metal song about slaying. We'll play it on the way when we're driving there. Yeah. What I think is crazy about it is that they serve you the rotissory chicken minutes after showing you the most beautiful bird in the world flying. It's just this brilliant, beautiful. But they feed you baby dragon. Taste like chicken.

That's how they presented. They say, baby dragon, tastes like chicken. But this is the most beautiful avian flight you've ever seen in your life. It's swooping overhead. It's flying by. And then they just go, and here's your chicken. Eat this bird. And you're like, I just saw it.

Yeah. And now it's in front of me. Yeah. And I still went. The beak, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, g, the beak is still attached. There's one feather. Yeah. Digging out.

It still has like the ankle leash thing. Oh, it's trap into the glove. Yeah. The decor was crazy. It was crazy. It was crazy. It was crazy. But in a fun way.

They brought garlic butter bread. The garlic bread or bread to me was purely a, this is just bread that is here. Yeah. I wrote fine. Soft roll with a pretty aggressive like butter color on it. Crazy because it looked so wet, but wasn't. Yeah. Yeah.

I almost wanted it didn't per me. Yeah, yeah. I wanted more from the amount of sauce that was on it. It was so visually moist and then had no taste, really. I think it's because the inside was so dry. And honestly, that is what I diagnosed the brownie with as well. It just had the benefit of chocolate being on its side. It has the benefit of being a brownie.

Yeah. Instead of bread. I'm still five out of ten on that bread. Yeah. It's whatever. Yeah. I would put it right around there. I put, and it sounds like you agree, the lobster.

The lobster tail. I put not bad, but the least excited I've been about lobster. Yeah. I went five and a half out of ten. Sure. And this was your first lobster? I have never to the best of my. Reb.

This is my first beef rib. Yeah. Yeah. To the best of my recollection, I've never had lobster before. And this makes me both uninterested in lobster and excited to try good lobster. You know? Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know, I'm like, oh, this was not good. But in a way that I'm like, I'm sure there's better lobsters at places that do lobster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also just getting like pure lobster is a very different experience from getting like a lobster roll or, like lobster in something. Lobster roll, especially if you get it in the New England area,

really, really good. Pure lobster up there is also very, very good. Okay. With like a garlic butter and like the lemon squeezer

and stuff. Skimipi sauce. Skimipi. This was not the place to have the best lobster, but you got it out of the way. Yeah. Yeah.

In the future, Tony heads out there, don't go for the lobster. Get the full baby back. Yeah. And that's a tip for me. If you're in the tone zone. If you're in the tone zone,

yeah. We got to sell them. that that's good that's really good i think they could just take it probably yeah so lobster like i don't know five five and a half for me half yeah i'll trust your judgment uh i have the coleslaw in just there the i didn't have any of the coleslaw i thought the after taste was the worst part but like it was like sweet up front which was nice it almost uh i don't think it had like an apple cider vinegar but there was like something in there that was like a little bit tangy with uh an element of sweet sure and it may have been like the carrot or whatever in it but uh yeah didn't hate it it was

just it was fine at the end of the day five out of ten it's a coleslaw it's a coleslaw five out of ten one of the most mediocre food five out of ten is about the best that coleslaw is going to do in life yeah but also like no I was about to say but like a four out of ten is like the worst it's going to do and that is not true there can be bad coleslaw

yeah yeah um and then you disagree with me on this I put the side winder fries in this category yeah yeah they kind of evened out just like yeah but you just didn't love their potatoes I didn't love their potatoes yeah but those baby back ribs. I had that the service was just fine. Sure. Yeah. I could agree with that. And the robot was a big

plus. The robot was doing a lot of the heavy lifting, but it's important to recognize that robots aren't people. Some people need to hear that more than others. He's good on refills. Yeah. But like there were a couple moments where I was like, oh, it's been like a solid 15, 20 minutes. There was lots of long weights between stuff. And we did get the wrong check. And he wasn't funny. And he wasn't funny. What the heck? Yeah, the wrong check. We got like a $90 check and I was like, there's a brief moment.

No way. There was a brief moment that we were like, left, paid and leave. Just getting. No one here had a raspberry iced. Yes, we dined a dashed. It was fine.

But that is all of that. There's one last element I want to talk about. Is there anything else in Just There for you? That is all I had in the just there category. Go to your text messages. I love this. This was my favorite part. Okay.

So one of the. marketing stunts here. Show me your rib face is a campaign that they do. I talked about it last week where they want customers to send pictures of their face slathered in their sauce as like, hey, you're really enjoying the rib. You're really embracing the mess. And here's a photo to prove it. Yeah.

And initially it was like, it was like a month long campaign and it was like every week or something they picked a winner to get like a $100 gift card, which is like, it's not a big spend for corporate. But it seems like now 10 years since that goes, they just pick like a handful that are winners for the year. Okay, you got that these were. So this was like the winners for the year. Oh, interesting.

I thought these were all oldies. There were nine pictures of individuals. And I want us to go through them one by one because I do not think that all of these people earned their spot on the wall of fame. No, not even a little bit. Okay. There are some winners in here. And there are some champions and there are some champions.

There are some champions. Okay. So let's start. All right. Jorge. Jorge. Carson, California, our location, the one that we went to, I think this is like the bare minimum of what you should have to be allowed to win.

He's got a big smile on his face. He's got a lot of bones in front of him. And he's got a lot of junk on his cheeks. He's got a lot of junk on his cheeks. This guy's having a good time. And look at that thumb. That's a gross thumb. That is a gross thumb.

Yes, I like this. So Jorge, you belong. Jorge, you belong. Next. Angie. Bloomington, Illinois. Looks like she's like, got into swinging in her 40s. That's just her vibe.

I regret saying yes so fast. That's just her vibe. Yeah, this lady looks like she's starting to embrace new experiences in her life. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm talking about. and wearing a bib with an arrow pointing up that says rib face, and that is doing all the heavy lifting of this photo. I was going to say this picture only works for me because she's playing the camera and she's got this big old bib.

But what she doesn't have is sauce. And look, her fingers are avoidant. You cannot have a championship level rib face with a weak, scared grip of getting rib sauce. Also, let's face it. She's kissing it. She's not biting it. She's kissing it. Yeah.

It's not ending up on her face because no. She's stiff arming it, but with her lips. Yeah. So Angie, to me personally, champion. Champion. Champion. Yeah. We're talking champion.

Jorge champion. Angie champion. Next talk Ryan. We got Ryan. Champion. This, honestly, the boy who started it all, maybe. Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. I like this because it's clearly taken in someone's home, which is crazy to me. There's a dryer. It's a dryer behind him. With a box of tissues on it. Yeah. He's sitting. This is clearly, you know what I like about this?

It's also not verifiably ribs. It's not verifiably ribs. What I like about this picture in the most, this feels the most authentic to me. Yeah. Out of most of the pictures. Because this was clearly not taken for the purposes of this challenge. This is clearly, my kid has a bunch of rib juice on his face. I'm going to take a silly picture.

And then they sent it off later. Also, a little bit blurry. A little bit blurry. Meaning they caught them in motion. This is a candid pick. Yes. Ryan. Champion.

All right. Next up. Natalie. Natalie. Miami, Florida. I like Natalie, personally. Look, cute little girl. Cute little girl.

But I'm voting no. Really? I'm voting pass. Look at that. That's avoidant. That's like teeth only getting lips out of the way. That is a fear of ribs. That's true.

There could be a little bit more, a little bit more. rib face to the rib face. What I do like about this is I do like that she's got full empty plate in front of her because it could have so easily been hand this kid a rib call today. I like that she's put in the work. We don't know that's her plate. That could be like, hey, this could be your dad. Hey, try this.

Slides the plate over. My dad's not sliding plates. He's handing me. He goes, he grips it like this. Take this rib. I don't even take it. It feels unsanitary even as an act out. Take this rib.

No. Oh. We squeeze it. Why am I actually covered in barbecue now? I never washed my hands. Great. All right, fine. Sorry, Natalie.

I say Chumpian because I think the part of this challenge is the mess, not the effort. And I know what's to come. So I feel comfortable giving Natalie a champion. Yeah. She has a lot of time left. All right. Yeah, she can look, she can workshop her game. She can, you know, work on her threes, come back stronger next season.

Attack your weaknesses. Yeah. She'll get traded around a little. little bit, she'll find her footing. Next one. Roheleo. Champion. Need I say more. Stacy? Stacey. Chumpian. I'm sorry.

Afraid. She's afraid. She's a little, she's a little afraid. That, like two fingers on a rib is not. Although, can I say this? Yeah. The way she's gone about this rib is truly primal. Look at the way it's left upon the bone. You know, there might be a ferocity in her glare. That kind of, it's almost like, I don't think she gives a shit.

she was eating a rib and someone took a picture of her, which is all of these people, arguably. Yeah. But you know what I mean? Like, there's no posing to this. I think she's just eating rib. Honestly, she might be eating a rib in the way that like a zombie. Yeah.

To where it's like, I'm just going to clean the bone. I'm just going to clean the bone. And if that's the case, this is like the example of she ate and left no crumbs. She ate and left no crumbs. In which case, champion. All right. Stacey. Now, okay, should we save that one?

We'll do it now. All right. there has never been more of a champion than David from Los Angeles. And I don't even care that there's nothing on his face. He's smiling and giving a thumbs up. The point is that he simply devoured so much of it that there couldn't possibly be anything left on his face. It's in the stomach. The amount of bones in front of him right now, this is giving, and I am not saying this as an endorsement of this behavior.

Okay. But this is giving Big Game Hunter. Wow. This is the guy who like poses in front of the rhinoceros. he shot on safari. Michael loves shooting extinct animals. That's impossible. Michael love shooting and danger.

Going extinct animals. Also untrue, but no, no, you said it. Yeah, David's awesome. David just ate a whole pig. And also, David has the hair that I want when I'm his age. Yeah. Also, David's been swinging a long time. And David taught, David taught Angie how to swing.

Yeah. No, I love David. And I know, obviously he didn't eat all of those ribs. Obviously, some people put those on his plate. But in my heart of hearts, it's such a good photo. It's so good. And it's about the photo. It's about the photo.

Yes, I like this guy. David, champion. Next up, Iris. I'm sorry. I know. I know. I want to give it to her. But it's, I don't know.

Actually, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He hasn't consumed any of it. Yeah, well, let's look, let's look a little bit. There's some sauce on the upper cheek. there's some sauce on the chin for sure. I don't know. Maybe I'm grasping at straws here. You can, look, you can do what you want.

This looks like someone who's trying to find a new identity. She's matured. She's clearly like six. She's matured out of Sailor Moon and is like, I need a new direction. Well, I don't like anime anymore. I'm going into rib. I'm watching Food Network more. I'm watching Food Network.

Guy Fieri's so cool. Yeah. Guy Fietti. But she's trying to be something that she's not. Yeah, okay. All right. Iris. Champion.

Sorry. Brutal. Laura. Laura Champion. This is. Laura isn't easy. This is what it's about. This is crazy.

From Sunny Isles, Florida. Yep. Laura is eating the bone. Eating the bone. The rib is gone and it's like, I want more. She's quite literally bending the bone in her hand. This is. Or is that two bones.

She's going crazy. This is what it's about. Yeah. There's sauce everywhere. It's on the hands. It's on the arms. It's on the cheeks. And best of all, giddy smile.

This is why I felt so comfortable giving two other children champions. Because this is for Laura. This is showing up. This is doing the work. This is showing what it's about. You're right. You're right. This is worthy.

Laura. Laura champion. Laura and David have my heart. Yeah. Thank God. All right. Well, that is everything that was. just there. We have to put all of this together and give Tony Romas a score. But before we do that,

Gabe, it's your first time on the podcast. You're not calibrated. No. We know Chili's is the perfect five. Of course. You have a zero and a 10. I don't know what they are. So I want to hear about them before you place Tony Romas with a more educated perspective. Yes. So we're going to jump into this week's Calibration Station. That was good, best or the worst, calibration station. Chugga, chugging, chugging, chugging, chugge, chew. That was awesome. Gabe, yeah.

I want to hear about something you would score a zero out of ten and something you would score a ten out of ten. The worst restaurant experience of your life, the best restaurant experience of your life. Start with whichever one you like. My ten out of ten, admittedly, warped in some nostalgia. Yeah. But I think that that adds to the experience.

Great. And I know that this is a restaurant that you've been to because I see it up on your little list. Well, I know what your two are because of the hints. I know that Margaritaville and Raising Cains are going to be your zero and your 10 and I don't know which is which. That's crazy. Neither of which are part of this. What?

Were you misdirecting me? They're both in my frequent stops. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be crazy, though. And I almost put a Margaritaville as my 10 out of 10. No.

Should I change my answer? No. Kind of funny. I want your truth. Kind of funny. It was my second place. Margaritaville was my second place. Okay.

Well, tell me I want to know the definitive 10. My definitive 10 as a boy from Colorado, the melting pot. Really? Okay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Specifically, cheese and chocolates. I'm going to say this. I don't like cheese.

And yet melting pot pretty high. Mm-hmm. And I liked it. Yep. I didn't need any cheese. And that's fair. But the meat and oil fondue, great. Yes.

And the chocolate, fantastic. I think that the, the, well, let me give you some. some backdrop. Yeah. Go on a journey with me. Every year, my family, when it's your birthday, you get to pick where you go for dinner. 95% of the time, doesn't matter who, we're picking melted pot because we love it. It's so good.

You go, you hang out. It's like fun hangout time. You're there for like three hours. It's such a good vibe. Ours was built into, it's in downtown Littleton, kind of close to where I'm from. you're hanging out in what is essentially used to be a library so lots of fun little like nooks and crannies

for all the booths and stuff then it was converted into a prison boo boo but cool ambiance and ghost stories I don't believe in ghosts but the stories are fun then it was converted into a melting pot so it's moody fun ambiance you have to drive a little bit to get there

which kind of adds to the appeals sometimes cozy shank corner there's a cozy shank corner really really fun ghosts in the bathrooms yeah So I have a line sorted by Dewey Decimal. Yes. Yeah.

And thank God for that. And then regular wine sorted outside by name. That's just true. Yep. So I like the melting pot a lot because we, I have a lot of nostalgia going there with my family. Yeah. And then into my adult life, it is a frequent like if I'm going out to what in my budget is like a fancy spot. I'm hitting up the melting pot.

That's the dollar amount that you're like. That's my like, I'm home for Christmas. Yeah. I want to go somewhere a little fun melting pot. All right. Plus, they have one drink, the yin and yang. Okay. It's like in a martini glass.

It's chocolatey. It's vanilla-e. Non-acoholic. Don't kiss me on the cheek. No, hey, stop it. Hey, stop it. Very, very good. That's just for our audio listeners.

Our video people know that you did kiss me on the nips. Oh, baby. Only in the melting pot. That corner. The shink corner. So I like the melting pot a lot. Yeah. That's my, that is my 10 out of 10 if I'm looking for, like,

Like, oh, I got to go to my best restaurant. That's where I'm going. And then you're zero. My zero out of 10 right here in sunny, sunny California is, I don't know if you've even heard of this restaurant in a little place called a universal city walk. There is a restaurant right in the middle of the thoroughfare, just its own separate monolith overlooking the space. The toothsome chocolate emporium. I see it all the time. I'm curious and it always looks empty.

So is the opinion of every single person who has ever been to Universal CityWalk. No one is ever there. It is dead empty. I've been there twice in my life. One time we just got bread and bad drinks. And it was truly that. The gimmick of this restaurant is it's steampunk but chocolate and everything has chocolate. They have pickles covered in chocolate.

they have baking covered in chocolate. Every single meal has an element of chocolate in it. And the chocolate is shit. It's literally just like picture a vat of like the worst chocolate you can think of. Yeah. They melted it and they just dip stuff in it. So the melting pot, but bad. Oh my God.

It is the melting pot but bad. I didn't even think about that. Wow. Yeah. No, they're literally just back there in the kitchen, just dip in full pickles and chocolate and going, here's your meal. that'll be $4,000. $4,000.

Yeah. Plus we do not validate. Plus we do not validate and sometimes maybe a robot will walk around. But not a cool robot like we saw today. It's a guy in a suit. Which I know is me in an alternate timeline.

So I feel bad for the day. I can't judge too much. I can't judge too much. It might be me in a year. Let's face it. But the second time that I went there, I went with my family a month ago when they were all in town to visit me.

Mine is my sister. Crazy. My family was in town. We said, we got to try this because it's crazy. Yeah. And we went there. We sit outside. We all get our food and we get a milkshake to split amongst us.

The milkshake is borderline inedible because it won't go through the straw. And we got just like a basic boring chocolate milkshake, which was too much chocolate. Yeah. Like in the sense that you were today like, I don't remember. There was something that you were like, oh, it's just too much of like, no. Like just this thing. That's what it was. It was just like, oh, there's just.

just a bland nothingness, chocolate milkshake. Yeah. And then all of the food was just bad food that they sometimes dipped in chocolate, which was bad. I got like a chicken sandwich. It had chocolate bacon or something on it. Bad. Bad.

I don't like the sound of that. All right. Well, somewhere between the shittier version of the melting pot and the best case scenario version of the toothless chocolate Emporia. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Lies today's meal at Tony Romas. We're going to put it to.

the Chili's Test. So I came in today with the worst, is the best. Let's put it to the Chili's test. So I came in today with lower expectations because of doing the prep work and the Yelp reviews,

like compiling them. And any time I see chapter 11 bankruptcy, private equity, and dwindling to like seven locations, why would my expectations be high? They wouldn't be. No. And then we walked in and cleaner than I expected.

Like, genuinely, I wasn't like impressed by the ambience, but no part of it put me off. No. It was giving hotel a little bit. Yeah. But I like hotels. I like traveling. You know, we sit down, we get a surprise robot. We order all the different types of ribs in a very very.

very put your money where your mouth is, Tony Roma kind of way. And they put their money where their mouth was. And more specifically, they put their money where our mouth was. Thank goodness. Our mouths. That's where our mouths are. And that's correct. All three types of ribs delivered to varying degrees, one of them incredibly so.

A hot brownie. An onion loaf is a novel idea and it delivered enough that I did enjoy it. beans that actually impressed. Stuff that made us laugh because it was bad, but didn't ruin anything. So it's like the true negative components of this are so few. Farty broccoli, disappointing mashed potatoes,

disappointing fries, being rib shamed. Yes. That's it. And none of those things are that egregious. I even think the rib shaming is just kind of funny. Yeah. So I thought that this was a good approaching great chain. And given my little diatribe about how I feel chain restaurants have been dropping the ball and cutting corners, this was so refreshing for me.

This was so needed. This reinvigorated kind of the feeling that I want from a chain restaurant, which is a known quantity of consistency, but also. for that consistency to be high. And I think Tony Romas cleared that bar. So for me, Tony Romas scores a 7.31. Nice. Nice. I drove here today doing next to no research.

And by next to know, I mean no research at all. Yeah. I expected us upon parking at your home to be driving to the equivalent of an olive garden or a bucadinebeppo and then you told me not only is it not italian food it's ribs and i said we're in for a different day than i expected so walking in much like you expecting a bad rib restaurant yeah i was delightfully surprised because everything was yes under a veil of simplicity from the decor to the weird weird menu layout to just the in general kind of like emotional vacantness

from the space. Going through all of that was met with food that on the most part delivered in a good way. The baby back ribs were, as we've said a million times, very, very, very good. And then everything that did go down from there only kind of incrementally went down.

Is that the right use of the word? It only like marginally went down from there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing was like flat out awful. There's stuff that I'll never get. The worst rib out of three was still good. Right, yeah. Yeah.

If the worst rib out of three, I would still just kind of like casually order, then we're doing a good job. Yeah. And then I clearly like a good vibe. And while on the surface, Tony Romas may seem like it's leaving some to be desired, there were little golden moments that would peek through the surface that just put a little smile on my face. The robot was delightful. The poster of people eating ribs right next to the bathroom was crazy. was astounding to me.

It was just like all these little little moments that I was like, yeah, skimmy pea sauce. Why not? Right? And that was so fun. And then to have good ribs on top of it, I was not expecting that, left a delightful taste in my mouth and a delightful taste in my tummy. Terrible. Overall. You know what inflection you just said that with?

Yeah. The wickedly talented. The wickedly talented Adelda-Zeme. So I overall, with all this in consideration, the food, the little golden moments, the wickedly talented Adel Zin, I give Tony Romas a 7.17. And when you put your score with my score, Tony Romas goes up on the Chotchke of Mediocrity at a 7.24 perfectly tying the melting pot. Whoa! Really? Yeah. That's crazy.

crazy. That's awesome. Look at that. Wow. That's nuts. Oh. And one one hundredth below California pizza kitchen. That's also crazy.

Yeah. Wow. Amazing. That's so fun. We did it. Well, Tony Roma's officially better than chilies. Better than chilies. Jay, Gabe, I got to go somewhere next week.

Oh. I got to figure out. where I'm going now that we're done with Tony Roman. So I'm going to reach into the you must bowl and grab a little piece of paper and see where it's going to tell me to go next time. I was wondering what this cauldron was for. The you must bowl. Tell me where I must go. Now we know.

Next week on the Blind Dining Podcast, I will be getting Korean Barbecue at... Gen Korean Barbecue House. Gabe, thanks so much for joining me. Thank you for having me. It was a delight. This was truly a delight. I had a great time. And next time, have your mom on the podcast.

Next time we'll bring my mom on. And we'll go to, oh, what's my mom's favorite restaurant? Mod pizza. Okay. You ever been to a mod? I've never been to a mod, but I've been to Blaze and it's very similar. We'll take my mom and she'll love it. Yeah.

They don't call it mom pizza for no reason. It's not called that. Okay. Awesome. Well, tell people where they can find you on social. Of course. You can find me at Gabe underscore Leg. on most social media is predominantly Instagram.

And you can catch me doing sketch stuff. You can catch me doing improv stuff. You can catch me writing plays, being in plays, doing all the cool things. And you can follow the show on Instagram and TikTok at Fine Dining Podcast. And you can support the show on Patreon for an exclusive episode every single month, as well as interviews with my guests talking about their chain restaurant and fast food rotations. And the full extended Yelp from Strangers segments. And if you leave a five-star review of the podcast,

Michael, just put my, put your mom on. I make that promise to nobody. I do. And if you give me a five-star review, make sure to say, I'd give this zero stars if I could. And if you leave a five-star review, Michael just might put your mom on. I don't like this bit. Those are your worst bit. Thanks.

Amazing. Well, thanks so much for watching. I will see you all next week. That's another one in the books. have a good time. Is that how I end it? No, it's have... I've never seen the show.

That's right. Have a fine day. Well, there's another one in the folks. We judge the service up to the cooks and while we may have gotten a couple of dirty looks. No, the journey can never stop. From the bottom down to the top, we got things on lock.

And that's good chillies. There's another morning. Have there's another one in the folks And we will see you next a week And next a week, baby Have a fine day