Fine Dining - Whataburger (Part Two: Review) feat. Ashley Robinson (Fear the Walking Dead)

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

Dive into Septemburger 2024's #4 Seed! TV Producer/all-around queen Ashley Robinson returns for part 2, covering the atmosphere/service/food of Texas' pride and joy: Whataburger "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to our YouTube to watch this episode! Whataburger's selling snuggies Ashley is modding her own snuggies, and it's Way Too Much The staff brings trays full of the nationally-famous Whataburger ketchup (and spicy ketchup) Michael goes early to review the legendary Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit Ashley uses her words to transform Michael's taste buds Michael absolutely loves the Patty Melt without the ch**se (affectionately dubbed "Patty") Ashley dishes on her Jesus-themed 33rd birthday party   Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music) Theme Song by: Kyle Schieffer (@JazzyJellyfish) Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose "Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (February concluded with a special episode recapping all restaurants on the Tchotchke of Mediocrity between 4.00 and 6.00, taking a trip down memory lane with each one), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more! Patreon Producers: Sean Spademan, Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas   Get the 5 Survival Tips for Casual Dining at www.finediningpodcast.com!   Send in your Whataburger stories at [e-mail].   Follow the show on TikTok and Instagram @finediningpodcast Follow Ashley on TikTok and Instagram @ashapaloooza   Let me know where I should go next by leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, PodcastAddict, Overcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I read every one!   Next week on "Fine" Dining: Culver's (Part One: Eat Deets)! I join forces with friend, listener, and all-around badass Kellie Baldwin as we continue unveiling competitors for this year's Septemburger tournament. The shakes are where it's at though. Ever work at Culver's? Send your stories to [e-mail].

From this point forward, the word cheese will be bleeped because Michael finds it offensive. Hello and welcome back to the Fine Dining Podcast, the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. I'm your host, Michael Ornelas, back once again to talk about Whataburger with my friend producer... producer. Yeah. In the PGA. Thanks. Right? Yeah. Ashley Robinson. Hello, everybody. I just wanted a second title to make you sound like a slashee, but you're just a real

adept onesie. You're a onesie. Producer, overall queen. I can't think on my feet. This is the show in which I'm going to restaurants looking for the most mediocre, the perfect 5.00 dining experience out of 10. Why am I doing this? Because we need a measuring stick of where good becomes bad, bad becomes good. Something is right in the middle that it has to a threshold it needs to cross to hit that. And I'm trying to define it in restaurant form.

And we're doing this based on a restaurant's atmosphere. Based on its service. And based on its food. Mmm. Ugh. These are the sounds that I choose to make. Mine dining party of two. Yeah, we've been talking too long already.

We haven't, but I don't deserve to talk longer. Our table is ready. Your table is ready, follow me. Have you tried our chicken breast? Serving pancakes and rips, I recommend the spaghetti. We're here to satisfy, not to impress. Your table is ready. Complementary butter and bread, these walls have growth signs. Nick, Knack, Cowboy Hat, Good luck, Cat Octograph guitar, some crap from your city

Behold the trash key of mediocrity Fine dining It's just fine dining Fine dining Two ledgers on the sign are shining Neon flickering, irregular timing Identify the perfect vibe Neil Flickering Irregular Timing Identified The Perfect Bite Palatin

Pine Dining Pine Dining Atmosphere Okay, so the inside of a Whataburger, for those of you who've never been to one, it looks like a fast food joint. Pretty basic. Is that fair to say? Yeah.

I think the most unique about the inside of a water burger is the random bench that's at the front. I guess if you're waiting for your order. And you just want to stare down the employees or really study the menu as I did while I was waiting for you to arrive. I just wrote down all the things we were going to order in advance. I was just like, I want to try that. I want to try this. So yeah, it's a study lobby. Yeah. Interesting bench.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of like black and white photos on the wall of classic Whataburger things. One of them has a baseball team where the back of all of their jerseys where the name normally goes just says Whataburger. Looked like a little league team or something all eating at a Whataburger, but it was like a counter. And I don't think Whataburger has like counters that you can go to in order like a diner. At least not anymore. Yeah. And then some like older buildings, some of those A-frame ones. They have like one of the original early ones

that's like just a shack basically. Yeah. It was neat. And then there's a lot of signage that's very commercialized. One that kind of tickled me a little bit. I'm gonna see if I can find the exact verbiage because it's a lie.

It's a lie. What a lie. It says, what does just like you like it mean? Your food is made exactly the way you want it. Your food is cooked right when you order it. Your food is handed to you right on time Yes, it's made the way I want it I thought it was handed to me on time But I would argue to say it was handed to me early because there's no way that it was cooked right when I ordered it Right, it does not take

40 seconds to prepare a honey butter chicken biscuit yet That's how quickly they gave it to me and so that signage a lie unless like really the honey butter chicken biscuit Why is that so hard to say? It's a forward item. It's a chicken tender in a biscuit that's cut in half and then they just put some sauce on it. So maybe it could be made in 30 seconds. To me, there's an implication that the biscuit and the chicken are started to be made when you order it. Right. Got you. Clearly, yes. I do believe they assembled it in 40 seconds. I don't think the food was cooked in Got you. Clearly, yes. I do believe they assembled it in 40 seconds. I don't think the food was cooked in 40

seconds. Okay, thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They did have just a few signs that were just TCOB, just taking care of business, logistics, occupancy load, 68, one short of perfection. They had two thermostats. They had one for a lobby and one for an office that were 62 and 63 degrees.

So they had different, this isn't interesting. It's a very cold office. And also that's a weird place to put the off. Like honestly, if I came in there and I was a little bit inebriated because of where it's placed in the city, I would go up there and mess with the thermostat. Just the office one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's make this 90. And then there's a permit to operate a food enterprise, which just sounds intense. Last episode, we talked about how Waterburger may have people. So when we saw that... Oh that you mean like they've got people they've got people that can take care of your problems If you know what I mean And so that placard kind of look like this is a money washing establishment the word enterprise We're not just an establishment. We are an enterprise We're like one step short of an empire. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you have to kiss the ring when you walk into a water burger. But there was a thing that kind of caught my attention on the table. There's the little trifolds the wrong word, but you know, it was like a three-sided cardboard ad placement, essentially. One of them was order on the Waterburger app. One of them was advertising a new milkshake they had. And then the other one.

It was Waterburger Snuggies. They were advertising by a Waterburger Snuggie. In 2023, almost 2024, Snuggies? It doesn't make any sense sense these things are 15 years. I don't think people That are in Gen Z know the term snuggie. No, they don't they are too We are elders and I do I for the record. I do have a snuggie. I have a Harry Potter snuggie Which is incredible when you buy a. When did you buy it? When snuggies were an actual thing.

Exactly. As far as like... We're not thinking about snuggies right now. Fast food merch goes. I actually support fast food merch, but not a Waterburger snuggie. Yeah. What would you do if you got that as a gift? Psy.

I'd be like, thanks. That's a choice, I guess. I'm like, thanks. That's a choice, I guess. That type of choice that Mr. Dobson is turning in his grave. Also, I'm going to go on record. I'm not pro-snuggy, like just the concept of a snuggie. I don't want my arms free and about. I don't want that.

I don't want the accessibility. If I want to be warm I want to be wrapped up like a burrito. I want to feel like I'm in a straight jacket and I'm warm Michael is anti-snuggy pro blanket. I'm I'm team is it even a competition? I beg to offer but honestly my snuggie I Po I sewed a little hole in it and put a button on it and I wear it like a robe. So I don't even know why. You're the problem.

I am the problem. It's me. I'm going to go so far as to say that decision is way too much. This is Way too much. The idea of a snuggie that leaves your household, a snuggie that you're like, well, this can be worn out. It has a button. It is insanity. I don't wear it outside the house. I just like walking around with this like long case thing.

I'm not taking this award back though. I am labeling this way too much. I am honored. Are you? I think so. There's no trophy that you walk home with or anything. It's just like a footnote of shame. Ashley Robinson, she was too much.

I'll send you a picture of it when I get home. For the sake of the video part of this episode, please do, but I'm mad about it. But we're also mad as you, Waterburger. You do not need to be selling Snuggies in 2024. Yeah, what are you doing? There was a hand sanitizer that just said hand sanitizer. Like they didn't have the foresight to leave the space for the ZER. That's just an interesting way to like stop the word. Yeah.

Cause I say hand sanny all the time. But hand sanitizer. Hand sanitizer, that's a no. Or hand sanity. Hand sanity. Hand sanity. Hand sanity. What I think they were doing is they were sick of people

making the joke of hand sanitizer, I mean, it was clean in there. Yeah, it was pretty clean. They were even cleaning while we were finishing some of our food. Yeah. It was very standard for fast food. I mean, it was pretty clean. I mean, it was pretty clean. I mean, it was pretty clean. I mean, it was pretty clean. I mean, it was pretty clean.

I mean, it was pretty clean. I mean, it was pretty clean.. Yeah, it was pretty clean. They were even cleaning while we were finishing some of our food Yeah, it was very standard for fast food I'm gonna go zero thumbs on the atmosphere at a whataburger one them up because I do believe Especially with the city that has as many hunn hun house people as we do Yeah, I do believe there's like some ethics to be able to have your bathroom unlocked to not like kick people out, but to just work around them.

People are trying to eat. People wanna sit for a little bit maybe. People wanna take a nap in the back corner pre-game for New Year's, all of the above. And there was no, nobody was being bothered. So I gave them a thumbs up for that. It was very humane. Yeah, there were no arguments, there was no. nobody was being bothered. So I gave him a thumbs up for that. It was very humane. Yeah.

Yeah, there were no arguments. There was no. I'm giving a thumbs up for humanity. How noble of you. Right. I feel like you did that after I gave my thumbs in the middle so that you're like, look at this jerk over here. I have proof.

I wrote it down. Yeah. Service. So this is the sticking point now that I've opened up the podcast to fast casual and fast food. Service just can't reach the heights that a place where you actually get waited on can. Yeah. That said, Water Burger for a fast food place, does have more built-in server interaction than your average fast food place. They do. They do. After you order your food,

if you're eating in-house, they actually bring you some condiments, some napkins, salt and pepper. Yeah, along with your food. So it's different. And they have their ketchup. But yeah, they literally, they walk out with a tray and you just kind of scavenge what you need. It does feel kind of an elegant, like, you're just looking at a person like, is this okay? Can I keep taking more? And they don't care. Yeah.

But like, it just feels weird that you're taking off of a person's hand in front of you. Yeah, it feels very Oliver Twins. They make deep eye contact while you're doing it, just to like assert power. I thought that the lady I ordered from, I actually went up to earlier before you got there and I was like, what are your three most popular burgers?

And she just like turned 180 degrees around and just stared at the board for a solid like 30 seconds. No words, didn't turn back around. I could have left, which actually would have been pretty funny. She just turns around and, oh, sir, where'd you go? Yeah. And she told me what the three burgers were. And I'm gonna announce it now.

Those are the three burgers that I ordered to enter Whataburger officially into this year's September Tournament. Fanfare, fanfare, fanfare. Yeah. Yeah, Whataburger, I'm trying to make September 2024 is gonna travel the country and I'm gonna hit places that are from all over.

Still going to be an eight burger single elimination tournament, but what a burger. I'm officially announcing it. It's going to be the first to enter in. It's the number four seed. So we will get to that in the coming months. Announce all of the September participants and make a big special out of it. And then don't forget, in September, get your brackets. You have a chance to win money if you get it all correct. I'm entering. Yeah, do it.

I'm going to. I dare you. I triple dog dare myself. But yeah, she was just staring, tells me the three burgers and those are the three that we ended up using so we can thank her for that I love how seriously she took that question. She did. Yeah. Yeah, I Also thought it was kind of funny that there was a guy in back at the grill with a big apron on that said grill master At what a bird like it was a what a burger branded grill master thing. Yeah, and at first I was like that's a little silly

It's just a fast food place but It is a highly renowned fast food place. Yeah, it has a reputation and it might make that guy feel good So, you know what? I'm with corporate on this one. I'm pro grill master apron I'm too and if water burgers gonna sell merch, that's the type of stuff they should sell. Now, I wonder if it like gets to this guy's head. I'm the grill master, so you know. Calm down.

As grill master, I believe we should proceed with the explanation. Yeah, I thought the service, again, we're not being bust. We're not having an experience that you would have Where you're weighted on So it can only go so high But I genuinely had pleasant interactions with everyone in the staff that I interacted with yes And they do bring you catch-ups and it's good catch-up great and it's on like a nice little tray I'm gonna go., and another and another thing. The plating.

We got our tray with our pretty large order on it. Yeah. And the way it was like organized was very satisfied. It was really like jigsawed very nicely. It was very geographic. Yeah. Geographic. It was very geometric. It looks very nice. It was very geographic. Yeah. Geographic. It was very geometric.

It looks very nice. It's very national geographic. Just lots of nature photos just on the thing. Yeah, very geometric. It was pleasant. And that goes on the staff as well. Yeah. Um, I'm going to go one thumb up for the service.

I'm also giving one thumb up for the service too. Food. Yum, yummy. Okay, so first thing I got, I showed up early to try the HBCB, the Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit. And this is a very popular borderline legendary fast food breakfast item, is that what you're saying?

I would say like of Waterburgers food besides the actual Whataburger. This is the one you hear about from people on the boat. It's the one they're known for, yeah. Yeah, and when I told people I was doing Whataburger, they were like, you gotta get the honey butter chicken biscuit. And I'm like, I don't wanna go early in the morning. I am a night owl.

Shout out to a Waterburger though, because they do start their breakfast menu at 11 p.m. to it is yeah so you have half the day you literally have 11 to 11 I appreciate that but yeah I wasn't gonna go to 11 o'clock either because I don't want to drive at midnight for a breakfast item breakfast item and then go sleep and feel heavy so the honey butter looks a certain way. It's kind of thick and white and a little gloopy. It's not the most appetizing thing to look at. Just going to throw that out there.

It was like some spilled over onto the wrapper when I open it. And I was just like, my food been tampered with. That said, this was tasty. This is a good biscuit, a good piece of chicken. You know, it's a pretty tasty like chicken tender almost. Yeah. And a good honey butter sauce. I don't think this thing is necessarily better than its ingredients though.

It doesn't like it doesn't have that it factor to me. I can agree with that. It just tastes like those things. I think the hype of it is overrated. Yeah. Uh, it's good. We're not taking that away, but I, I mean, honestly, it doesn't like, it's not perfection.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm going seven and a half out of ten. I Devoured this thing I'm not gonna lie about and a seven look a seven and a half out of ten. That's pretty high good. Yeah, that's approaching greatness But I don't think it achieves it. Hmm. I think it is just very good and And if you're not satisfied with very good, comment on this video. Something mean

about Ash. Let's talk about your first thing, the strawberry shake. Yes, I got a strawberry shake. Shakes at Waterburger are my favorite. It's one of my favorite things to get. Of all fast food shakes? Of all fast food shakes. Wow. Their shakes are really good, but specifically, their strawberry one slaps.

So I gave that's that's like a 9.5 out of 10 for me. Really? Yes. You're going and I like you're going to leap tier. Yes, I love shakes. so I try shakes everywhere. It's just flavorful, it's not super like syrupy, which I know some places add extra syrup to make it sweeter. Syrupy is not a thing I want in my shakes.

No, not at all. I want thick, creamy, but melts fast enough that I can have it with a straw. Yes. Because I don't like a spoon shake. Me neither. And if it's like too thick, I feel like that just takes away from the experience.

What am I gonna do? Wait for it to water down and be ice cream soup. I mean, I don't hate me in ice cream soup, but it's also because I brain freeze very easily. So I need my cold stuff to like get a little warmer. Not warm, that would be insane. But like instead of cold, I like it cool. Yeah.

And that's exactly where this is at. It's not too hot, it's not too cold. It's the perfect temperature. It's just right. Yeah. Let's talk about the sides that we got. Okay. French fries.

French fries. We've got high, high marks. Yes. Waterburger has some of the best fries out there. Yeah. Yeah besides like Chick-fil-A Their fries are good. Yeah, they're They're like fit. They don't look impressive. Yeah, they're like thin and a little dorky Fry is dorky

I want to take its lunch money. And like push it in its locker. Yeah, it's addictive though. You keep going back. It's like the right amount salted. It's like the right amount greasy. It's the right amount crispy. It's just kind of a mixture of all these textures

and it hits them all at the right amount. I'm not going to go so far as to call this the best in the game, just because even if I can't immediately think of a better fry, at least in fast food, I know I've had better fries. Yeah, I could say that too. But I'm still gonna go a very respectable eight out of 10 on the Whataburger fries.

I rated it an 8.3 out of 10. 8.3 getting scientific. I think because also what I like about these fries is they don't taste terrible cold either. No. Like you can actually keep munching on them. They don't taste like you've cooked. It's not like a McDonald's fry which goes from amazing to actual trash. Like you're eating lead.

Yeah. In a matter of minutes. Yes. So fast. The half life on a McDonald's fry is terrible. Then we're going to talk about the other way you got your fries. Oh my gosh. Speaking of which, I didn't know you can make a Waterburger Fry Terrible, but they found a way. So one special thing about Waterburger is they actually do go out of their way to try and introduce new items to their menu pretty consistently. And I, since I love Waterburger.

They had three. They had three. Active. Yeah. The jalapeno cheddar biscuit. They had the chili fries that we're about to talk about. Yes. And then they had a like white chocolate raspberry shape. Yes. Yeah

So pretty consistently they have new items on their menu to try and I like to try those because I'm not typically a burger eater and I'm not a fan of their chicken tenders. So I like to try the different stuff that they have up. Yeah So I decided to try the chili fries because their fries are great. How could how could you mess up their fries? fries because their fries are great. How could you mess up their fries? Well, first of all, putting shits on them. An abomination. I'm so anti-chick. This is where we beg to differ. You know what? Because I don't like shits and you're about to talk about chili shits fries, I'm going to put one minute on the clock. You only get 60 seconds to recap this entire item, the chili shits fries, okay?

Fine. All right. Starting in three, two, one. All right, so they give you a pretty good amount, like I would say like three large fries of fries in there. They layer it with their chili in quotes and then they sprinkle on some shredded chili on top. This chili was so bad. It to me tasted like how dog food smells.

Which in turn, ruined the fries themselves. Like, they didn't put enough sh** on it, in my opinion. I feel like maybe if they had it, add more sh**, it would have been a little more flavorful. But it made the fries taste a little cardboardy, which is a feat. I can't even describe the flavor of the chili. No, it tastes like feet. All I'm gonna say is please do not get the chili fries. They're not that great.

I ended up giving them a 2.3. 2.3 out of 10. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Your minute is up. Good timing. Thank you. Well timed out. 2.3 out of 10 five four three two One your minute is up good timing. Thank you. Well timed out. I did that really well. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, they looked trash they did and then we got the onion rings as another side Yeah, and I don't know if I'd had the what a burger onion rings before I Thought they were pretty good. I never had them before either. I didn't have any problem with these guys. They had really good texture. They were a little bit too greasy. But even though this isn't a bad thing necessarily, it is a disconnect.

You said a thing after we tasted them and I didn't realize it. And then once you said it, it changed all the activity inside my mouth. And I'm like, what is going on? This is insane. In a good or a bad way. In a just unique way. Yeah. Tell them, tell the people what you told me. So when I tried it, to me me the batter tasted like funnel cake batter

Yeah, and I realized I don't want that for an onion ring But like you said it after I had already tasted it and then it changed how I was perceiving the aftertaste in my mouth And you were totally right and it just weirded me out And you were totally right. And it just weirded me out. Which took the rating down to like a 6.5 out of 10. It's not like a huge detraction, but it's just, it's like a psychological, just like, what is happening? I also rated it a 6.5, mostly because I don't like sweet and savory. Twinsies.

I don't like sweet and savory together. So when I said the funnel cake thing, that's all I could taste was the funnel cake and the onion. I was like, these shouldn't go together. Yeah. But it wasn't bad. Like, yeah, no, I mean, like the texture was very good. And the onions seemed like substantial enough. They weren't like too little or and they weren't overwhelming. So, you know, it was a solid mix. Just funnel cake batter. Yeah. No, don't want it.

Didn't sign up for it. Let's not do it. Now I want to talk about the patty melt or as I'm going to call it, patty. I didn't get. I don't eat. So I asked for a patty melt where the name heavily implies the presence of **** and I asked for no **** I just want to say that when Michael ordered this the cashier kind of just like looked at him and then went

back like kind of looked at him sugar head a little bit and then sir do you understand what this is yeah you seem lost seem lost. I was not lost. I wanted patty. Or as I wrote down the patty non-melt. The patty non-melt. I enjoyed it a lot. I actually did too. This was my favorite of the three burgers that we tried.

And because what a burger is in September, I am going to leave this score a mystery. Okay. We're not going to score it. We're just going to talk about how we liked it. I enjoyed it. It makes me when I go back to Whataburger next time, order it properly with the first thing you said was, Oh, wow, this would be great with just like but it was for for what it was like for what it had it was actually like a creamy like mayo it tasted the it had like a very peppery like back taste to it. Yeah, it had chopped onions in it and it's on Texas toast. On Texas toast with two patties. Which no other state has toast named after it.

Right. Texas toast, maybe the best kind of toast. Yeah. It's so good, like the garlicy grilled. And they really put the, at Waterburger, they put the right amount of butter on it. It's like not too much. Wasn't too much, wasn't too little.

Mm-hmm. It was just right. I am going to say, like, I won't give a score on this, but I will say it's over seven. Mine is over six. And the only reason why it's so low is because there was no- The lack of- ... sunny. I'm sure I would rate it higher when I have it properly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the other burger that we got, the Avocado Bacon Burger also served on Texas toast. These are the two on their menu that come on Texas toast. And this had, again, burger patty, tomato, like a thin bacon, avocado, creamy pepper sauce. And this is also pretty solid. Didn't you like this one more? I did like this one more. And this is also pretty solid. Didn't you like this one more?

I did like this one more. And I liked the patty. Yeah. I liked the patty better. I think also I'm realizing, because I don't eat burgers a lot, for water burger I prefer them all to be on Texas toast now. Yeah.

Yeah, because I feel like that makes a difference. Right. Overall on this burger, I'll give a September spoiler just in case what a burger makes it out of the first round. And just as a reminder, for September, basic burgers are what you need to get out of the first round. So every place is just standard, like the number one at a place. That's what I'm evaluating for the first round burgers. Right. If you make it to the semifinals, now we get to play.

Yeah. You know, now we're in the sandbox and we're building fun stuff, but you got to do the basics right first. So the avocado bacon burger, I don't love tomato on a burger. I don't love tomato on a burger. And I thought that it didn't blend specifically with this set of ingredients, the avocado and the bacon. I felt would have done better without the presence of tomato.

I would actually would prefer that too. Cause it was so watery that it changed the consistency. Yeah, these weren't like the freshest tomatoes that you could get. It definitely seemed like a canned tomato. Not even saying that it was so watery. Yeah, it's not like the freshest tomatoes. Yeah, could get it definitely seemed like a canned Tomato not even saying that it was but it definitely had similarities and taste right texture So I think with either a better tomato or without tomato this could have exceeded Seven for me, but as it stands I went six point seven three on the avocado bacon burger But as it stands, I went 6.73 on the avocado bacon burger.

6.86 for myself. So we're actually very close on that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't bad. And I do like the sauce that they had on this besides the avocado. They had a special sauce too. The creamy pepper sauce. Yeah, that, I think it was a jalapeno pepper sauce, right?

I looked again at the menu and it specifically labeled it a creamy pepper sauce. It may have been jalapeno based, but it didn't confirm. That's something like I would want to add on, like if you're just ordering like a water burger. I would order that as like, if they bottled it. Yeah. I would buy it. H-E-B.

I'd put it on something. They might have it already. They might. And then dessert. Ashley, I wanted an apple pie. We got two. We got two. And I didn't ask for two. We did it. I think they gave it to us for free. Yeah. Which is kind of nice. Uh you have one with you. Would you like to eat it on air? Yeah. This is

several hours old. It is a little. It is not warm. So we're not really putting the best foot forward. But I tried it. Yes. In like in the place. So you want to describe how you felt about it? Sure. I mean, I don't want to influence you, but I thought it was solid.

It gave me kind of that nostalgia kick for a McDonald's apple pie, which I loved those McDonald's apple pies growing up. I haven't been able to find like I've seen McDonald's where they're still on the menu, but they've never had them in stock when I go lately. So I don't know what to do with that information. They're going the way of their ice cream machine. That's what's happening. I thought that the Waterburger one, it was definitely a little flakier of a texture.

The apple was, the inside was nice and gooey, but not in like a Gross way. Yeah, you know it it tasted like what I expected it to be and because of the nostalgia kick I really liked it. I'm gonna go eight out of ten. I think it was a great little Hand-held apple pie. So obviously I tried it a little colder. Yeah, I wish I tried it heated up Which I'm probably gonna heat it up later. Yeah, feels like it has staying power if that makes any sense I like how flaky it is. I just had some fresh apple pie last night with my cousins So I have a recent very recent point of comparison and it kind of tastes similar. It's really good Yeah, so I kind of want to go, I think I had wrote what I might guess it would be, which was a 7.5.

7.5 out of 10. I'm going to stick with that, 7.5. You know, that's a respectable, I, sees get degrees, that's what they say. And honestly, I didn't even know they had apple pies. Yeah. So that's a nice thing to try a surprise. Yeah, a surprise.

A surprise. Failed it. Stuck the landing. Everybody gets one. That is how it works. Yeah. And so when I put all of this together, I mean, my scores are pretty high across the board. I'm gonna go two thumbs up on the food at Waterburger. Same. This isn't like a culinary masterclass or anything like that.

They're not doing excellence across the board, but they're doing good enough. Yeah. And good enough to me warrants you two thumbs up. Especially for a fast food place for a fast food place You're not gonna go wrong at a water burger, right? That's probably false According to the other one of the things you say tasted like how dog food smells But

All that aside, yeah, and if you like, I genuinely think you will enjoy, you will get more out of a Whataburger than I do. You'll definitely get more out of a Patty belt. As opposed to just Patty. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley.

Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. What's like what do people nickname you ash I get a lot Anyone ever said smash Lee and do you hate? Oh, yes? My best friend loves to use that and ash hole But for my birthday my turn 33 this year. I called it my Jesus year

She decided to ask the bar if they could make a creative drink the girl was like yeah She was like can we call it the smash Lee? Oh man? Thinking ash Wednesday because it's here. That's what I told, that's what we ended up doing. Was it your birthday on a Wednesday? No, it wasn't, it was on a Saturday. It was on Sunday. And my mom was like, you cannot wear a crown of thorns.

And I was like, okay, fine. I found something different. You had to be talked down from a crown of thorns. But the girl, she said the girl at the bar gave her the like meanest look and was like, no, we cannot name it Smashley. So then they restructured it to a Dash Wednesday. Still works.

Yeah. Anyways, I'm gonna let you do the honors, start us off, break down your thoughts just overall on Water Burger and then put it into a number. Yes, okay, gotcha. I on Water Burger and then put it into a number. Yes, okay, gotcha. Um, I love Water Burger and I think it, there are certain things that I love more. Yeah. Uh, the chili fries really disappointed me, uh, because that's not the-

It's not cool. It's not cool. What they did to you. You know, it was like a slap in the face to me. Yeah. I felt like it was a personal attack. With that said, I was pleasantly surprised by some of the things that I did like.

I want to dive in on another thing that you've mentioned that I find interesting. Yeah. You say you like what a burger, but you don't normally order burgers. I don't. And they are so commonly a burger place to me. And then you said, you don't really do the chicken stuff.

I don't do the chicken stuff. So what's left? So I try, I order their like, their chicken wraps. Sometimes I do, I don't do their chicken tenders. Cause I don't think their chicken tenders are great. And they don't really, they don't have chicken nuggets. They have a grilled chicken wrap. That's actually amazing.

That's what I usually get as a combo meal. I love pretty much all of their breakfast menu. So like their chorizo and egg, tukitou that's my go-to in the morning. I see, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's options. If you haven't had a grilled chicken wrap from there,

please do because it comes with fries and a drink just like any combo gives you the best of both worlds. But I didn't expect to like the patty milk, and I really did. So I definitely want to try that again in the future. With that said, with rating everything that I have, overall I gave it a 6.12. 6.12, so you would say it's like a little bit

into good territory. Yeah, a little bit. When you're putting up against every restaurant you've ever been to, the every restaurant you've ever been to, the nicest places you've ever been to, Whataburger still enters the conversation as, it's good. Yeah. Yeah. Would I ever get their chili ch** eyes again?

No. I can answer that for you. And you know what? I'm inclined to agree with you. I've been to some very nice places. I've been to some really great places. I've been to some really great places. I don't think I would call Whataburger just mediocre. I think I would call it good. I think it's a little lower for me. And like we're talking inches. You went 6.12. I'm going to go

for Whataburger overall. And again, this gets a little bit of a hit because it just, it doesn't have table service in the same way that a sit down restaurant does. And that is just by definition nicer. Yeah. I'm still going to go with 6.06, which means Whataburger when you put it all together is a 6.09. That's how it's going to go up on the Chachki of Mediocrity when I return home to Los Angeles. And it also means that it is better than mediocre. Alright, so Waterburger goes up on the Chatsky of mediocrity 6.09, which is not a 5.00. Not. Do you know what that means?

What does that mean? It means we got to keep looking. This thing ain't done. Okay. I got to find another spot to evaluate. In my ongoing search for mediocrity, I'm 51 episodes in and I haven't found it yet. I have a question for you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think that this place that you're looking for, the one that's gonna hit 5.00, do you think it's gonna be a fast food restaurant? I don't know, but I'm willing to find it there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, before I wasn't. Before I was like, there's no way.

Fast food is all below average. Uh-uh. Just proof is in the water burger. Yeah. And so in order to look for the next place we're gonna go, we gotta play a little game. Okay. We gotta play a game that I like to call

The Headline Game. The Headline Game. The Headline Game. game that I like to call the headline game. The rules of the headline game are as follows. Michael will present three headlines to his co-hosts that include this week's restaurant. They can be made up or they can be actual headlines. If the co-host can correctly guess if at least two out of three are real or fake, they will get to select next week's restaurant. However, if Michael stumps them, he'll select again. Are you ready to play, you two? I'm ready.

Alright, first headline. Texas Man arrested for running naked at Waterburger. Oh, that's 100% real. It has to be. Waterburgers are open 24-7. They obviously let whoever come in whenever they need to. They're the hub of the drunk. And I just for some reason can imagine this for sure happening in East Texas. Alright. Second headline. Man arrested for robbing Waterburger with a metal pole, affidavit says.

So the number of Waterburgers I've been to around the country, their staff looks like they can handle some things. Hmm, so the number of water burgers I've been to around the country Their staff looks like they can handle some things I think someone coming in with a metal pole would not work Did not even wake them up from their nap. No, I mean water burgers not at the level of What's that one? Waffle House? Yes, it's not quite at that level, but they can handle some things. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna say not real and lastly Texas man arrested at Waterburger after falling asleep in stolen car I'm gonna say that's real to you think that's true. I think it could happen

All right Just imagine being so happy that you successfully stole the car go to Waterburger to celebrate Got some great get in Getting the drive through and... And just knocked it, the itus just got you. All right, first headline, Texas man arrested for running naked at Water Burger. You said true, that is in fact true. Where was it at?

I need to know. I will look that up for you in a moment. Okay. Brian, Texas? East Texas. Is that East Texas? Yes, I think so. I also love the way the headline,

A Texas man was arrested in connection with running naked in a water burger. Just in connection with makes it sound like a crime ring. Oh my gosh. Man arrested for robbing water burger with a metal pole. After David says, you said, false, that one also is true. Oh, really? Yeah. Guy just walks in with like the bottom of a stop sign.

And it's like, give me all of your fries. Give me your burgers. So you're one and one. Okay. Last headline, Texas man arrested at Whataburger after falling asleep in stolen car. You said true, and that is true. Wow.

Every night when the clock strikes 11 p.m., Whataburger's all over Texas, get a rush of customers as the fast food chain begins serving their breakfast menu. Of course, some nights, the late night cravings belong to those looking to do more than just eat. That's exactly what happened recently in Houston when a man stole a car outside Whataburger,

but was caught after he ate his meal and fell asleep in the car. He stayed at the scene of the crime, went through the drive-thru and fell asleep. Man was almost home-free. Yeah Last week a man in Houston arrested blah blah blah blah blah Yeah, what a story and he broke into the car stole a credit card and bought food with it My goodness the story gets dumber story gets dumber

So that is too correct. You do win the headline game. You get to tell me where I'm going next time Where's that gonna be? Oh my gosh. Is it a sit-down place or a fast food spot? It can be Whatever you want wherever you want Considering that the place we went to had great fries. Yeah, I think you need to try a different type of fries. So maybe culvers Okay, you know what? I'll do Culver's next time. And having never been, I am also going to announce it for September. OK.

So we're throwing Culver's into the mix. I don't know what seed it's going to be yet because I haven't had it. But sure, Culver's, that'll be fun. Well, Smashley, thank you so much. I appreciate you to continue using that name. Smash Wednesday. Thanks. Thanks for coming on the Find Dining Podcast,

the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America. Tell the people where you want them to follow you, what you want them to check out, all the things. Please follow me on my socials. You can find me at Asha Palooza with three O's on any of your favorite platforms. Any of them. Any of them.

I made sure to get the handle for all of them. Every single new platform that comes up. Except for LinkedIn, obviously. I couldn't have Asha Palooza there. That, you lied to the people. They were already opening their ally. Just like, where is she? Where is Ashah Palooza?

Awesome. Well, thanks so much for coming on. You can also follow this show at Find I Need Podcast on Instagram, on TikTok, on YouTube. If you're watching, please go ahead and give it a like. Leave a comment about whatever. Say nice things about me. say nice things about me, say nice things about Ashley. We didn't find the most mediocre restaurant in America. The

search does in fact continue. We'll see you next time. Have a fine day! The search continues. We still need the perfect vibe, the search continues Like and subscribe, the search continues Our journey did not conclude, the monorail search continues Write us an iTunes review And hey, while you're at it, why don't you go ahead and make it five stars? Follow us on TikTok, the same on Instagram, all the socials at Find Findiningpodcast.com

Buy our t-shirts Then put them on And don't forget You can always suggest where we go next Okay! We're going to find it! Mediocrity! The search continues! See you next week! Cough, cough, cough, cough! I heard my throat a little. Have a fine day!