Fine Dining - Wienerschnitzel: The Taco Bell of Hot Dogs

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

🌭🏰 Wienerschnitzel: Incorrect German, Taco Bell, and Iconic Chili 🏰🌭 This week, David Luong (@daviddluong) joins me to dig into the history of Wienerschnitzel, America's massive hot dog chain with a name that raises eyebrows. We trace the unlikely connections behind its creation, unpack the improper German that's been there since day one, and investigate how a restaurant named after schnitzel somehow went decades without actually serving any. 🔔 Wienerschnitzel's Founder Was Close with Taco Bell Founder Glen Bell 🇩🇪 "Der Wienerschnitzel" Wasn't Even Grammatically Correct German 🌭 Why Name a Hot Dog Restaurant After Schnitzel in the First Place? 🍖 The Chain FINALLY Serves Its Namesake as a Limited-Time Promotion 🔥 The Heat Lamp: David Argues Some Food Is Worth the Diarrhea 🥊 Yelp from Strangers: One Customer Claims an Employee Tried to FIGHT Him 🏰 How a Weirdly Named Hot Dog Stand Became an American Fast Food Institution 💬 COMMENT BELOW: What's a food that's SO good you'd willingly accept the gastrointestinal consequences? 📢 SUPPORT THE SHOW & JOIN THE COMMUNITY:🎉 Patreon (Bonus episodes, extended Yelp segments & more): patreon.com/finediningpodcast 💬 Discord (Food talk, memes, cursed Yelp): discord.gg/6a2YqrtWV4 🎥 Watch full episodes: youtube.com/channel/UCLbraNhL6KhDPkdSWt2yiuw 🔗 All links: linktree.com/finediningpodcast 🎤 Guest: David Luong | IG: @daviddluong Patreon Producers:Sue Ornelas, Joyce Van, & Robert McLaughlin Patreon Subscribers:David Ornelas, Kellie Baldwin, Jeremy Horwitz, Herbert Amaya, Simone Davalos, Scott Bennett, Amy Reinhart, Josef Castaneda-Liles, & Michelle Elmer Free Patreon Followers:Joe Warszalek, Lauren Cummings, Grace Krainak, Keri Estes, Robert Duran, Patrick Elliott, Dave Plummer, Nicholas Volney, Michael Gerard, Tracy Molino, Phuong Duong, Tyler Robinson, Brandon Gully, Mason Cruz, Michael Milito, Mez, Aaron Hubbard, Steff, Renae Michael, Crystal C., NiZ, Science Broe, Jahid Ahmed, Jewell Hermann, Macky Markar, Morawski4, Kellie Bowes, Debra Ramsey, Jorge Gabriel Méndez Arrambide, James BacKHouse, Kimberly Burk, & Travis Langley 👉 NEXT WEEK: David and I head to Wienerschnitzel to eat our way through the menu and put it to the Chili's Test! 🌭🌶️

Is Wiener-Snitzel the destination to get the biggest variety of hot dogs? Being quite literally the Taco Bell of hot dogs, Wiener-Snytsle has built a legacy on having nothing to do with the culture its name suggests. At least they make good on the Wiener's half of their name. But despite the silly moniker, Wiener-Schnitzel takes their glizzies so seriously, they even brought in Alfred Hitchcock's graphic designer to make their logo. And their business model extends beyond just hot dogs. After acquiring one of the early giants of soft-serve ice cream,

Wiener Schnitzel developed a reputation as a reliable stop for sweet treats. And with how naughty their marketing team can get, I'm shocked we haven't seen an objectified banana split mascot yet. This week on the show, I'll dip my wiener of knowledge into your cornmeal batter of curiosity so that you too may know everything I've learned about Wienershitzel. Then we'll direct our attention to the people of Yelp to see what they're saying about the very Wiener-Snitzel we dined at. This is the fine dining podcast.

Your table is ready. Take your seat. The flavor of the day is mediocrity to try a bar. I can't believe that they got the Hitchcock guy to make that logo. Yeah. Because it's a very innocuous, like, unsuspensable logo. It's like, honestly. Can you imagine if they tapped him to make, like, can you make a logo for us that horrifies people?

Yeah, like, here's an existential. like hot dogs like I'm self-aware and you're eating me. A psychological thriller of a logo. Yeah. I also thought it was interesting. The thing you said about like not limit to the namesake. I didn't even think about the fact that Wienerzsche did so. Yeah.

It was like straight up like German or Austrian. Yep. Not even, there's nothing about that that would suggest that, hey, we love. In fact, they're selling America merch. Yeah. Hello. And welcome to the fine dining podcast, The Quest to compare all restaurants to Chili's. I am your host, Michael Ornellis.

And this is the podcast where we dive deep into the history of your favorite restaurants and then thoroughly review them one week later by comparing them to chilies. This week, we're covering a chain that made my mom say, yum, when I mentioned I was going to do an episode on it, Wiener Schnitzel. And joining me is a friend, improviser, performer at Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles. And even though he doesn't know it, he is the person who made me want a denim jacket. It's David Luong. Wow, thank you so much. I didn't know that you had that plan, and I wore this completely coincidentally. I saw you walk in like that.

I was like, yes, this is going to land. And actually, you know what, please hold. For the people who are just listening to the pod, Michael got up and he's putting on a denim jacket. And now he's back and he's wearing said denim jacket. What a reveal. You can cut that out. It's like a weird spoiler. This is actually taking all the suspense.

out of it. But that's great. And I just want to say this to anybody watching. It's never too late to to jump on the denim jacket bandwagon. I was a late in life denim jacket guy. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of become my signature look now, but would you believe I didn't get my first denim jacket until I was 28 years old? Really? Mm-hmm. I assumed it was like your first patch of denim denim fell off of a gene and you put it under your pillow and the denim jacket fairy showed up the next morning and there was a denim jacket under it. Yeah. And you know what? You could do that. And If you're smart, don't be like me. Don't do something like denim.

Put in leather, still. Put in gold jewelry. And you'll be, you know. Whatever you put under your pillow multiplies. Yeah. Don't choose denim. Yeah. And you put in teeth on your pillow.

You get more teeth. Yeah. The tooth fairy does not give you silver coins. They will give you more teeth. Yeah. That's why they grow back in. That's why they grow back in. You very enthusiastically wanted to do.

Wiener-Snytsel when I sent you a few options of restaurants that we could do. What is your personal connection or history with Wiener-Schnitzel? So, yeah, the main reason why Wiener-Sinsel really popped out both when you suggested and also just whenever I have like a craving for hot dogs or chili is that I love it when a fast food place offers something that no one else is doing. And as far as I know, there's no one out there in the fast food game doing chili cheese dog, chili cheese fries, corn dogs. They easily could be.

Yeah. Like everybody has a burger. It feels like you have to go to a ballpark for something like that. Yeah. Everybody's got burgers. Everybody's got fries. Everybody's got tacos. So it's kind of like this thing where you're not special.

I don't really get any novelty out of it. But like, whoa, wait a second. You're telling me that I can get a corn dog for 79 cents at this point. Not 79 cents, but we'll get to that later. Yeah. But like, yeah, like I want to do that. I want to make the extra drive or whatever. I love.

hot dogs. genuinely, there's still a food that I buy. I got a grill for Christmas last year and I grill myself up some hot dogs with some level of regularity. And I love places like dog house. Shake Shack started as a hot dog cart in New York and they're hot dog, but they're not fast food. So like, Shake Shack is fast casual. They're kind of, they're a tier above. So when you say Wiener Schnitzel is the only fast food place, I'm trying to think of a counterpoint to that. I'm sure there is one. but as far as chili cheese dogs, I don't know. I can't think off the top of my head.

Yeah, and some places may offer it as like, I think Dairy Queen might have like a hot dog here or there. Yeah. But, you know, it's not like what they do. It's not their specialty. Exactly.

Weiner Schnitzel is like, this is our thing. Yeah. And then my own history with the brand, I think is non-existent. I think this was my first time going to a Wiener Schnitzel. If I have had it before, it was unmemorable and probably so long ago.

And maybe even like in passing to where I do. didn't eat there. Someone may have picked it up and brought it to me. But I do think this is my first time eating Wiener Schnitzel. That tracks because if you had been there, it would have been a life-changing transformative experience. You would have been. Well, not even, I'm not even like, and it was good food, but just like, do you do this? You have like a catalog of like, if I want Mexican food, Chipotle's in rotation. I want a burger in and outs in the rotation. Yeah. So like, as someone who loves hot dogs, there's no way that Wiener Shinsenzo, don't want to have not, not have entered like the rotation. Yeah. If you've had it before. That's why I'm

thinking it's like, I do think the name turns me off, I think, a little bit. Is it too European? I think it's too European. I think I expected German food. And I, I have been to Germany and it's like, it's just not my favorite. It's not like bad. It's just not our palate, but I just don't seek it out. I'm just not seeking it out. And so I was just like, oh, that's, I guess what I expect. And when it wasn't that, not only that, it was excessively Americanized. Like, they're literally still selling America 250 merch in it's September. Yeah, like, they're one of the few, like, brands that really leaned into the whole, like, 250 year, what is it, buy, trice, buy and a half centennial.

Yeah. I think that's the official. Yeah, buy and a half centennial. Yeah. Well, that's your history with Wiener Schnitzel and my history with Wiener Schnitzel. Do you want to hear the history of Wiener Schnitzel? I would love to hear the history of Wiener Schnitzel. We're going to jump into this week's Eat Deets.

Eatery details. Wiener Schnitzel is basically Taco Bell's cousin. Before Taco Bell was even known as Taco Bell, 23-year-old John Galardi worked for Glenn Bell at Taco Teia, eventually buying one of Bell's stores. When Galardi got a shot at his own roadside stand in Wilmington, California, Bell urged him not to compete with tacos, so he picked the relatively untapped market of hot dogs.

Der Veener Schnitzel opened July 3rd, 1961, selling 15 cent dogs. And to me, not knowing that history, it just makes so much sense just because similarly, like Taco Bell, and I know it's not authentic, I'm not looking for authenticity, but Taco Bell is my go-to taco spot, and it was, again, that novelty.

Because, again, CrunchTaf Supreme, you're not going to find that literally anywhere else. I think they have a trademark. And Taco Bell is like, they're innovators of our society. They are out there doing the work to be, like we're not resting on our laurels. We're always looking to come up with new

presentations of the same 15 ingredients or whatever. And no one can take that from them. There will always be something interesting at Taco Bell. And they're pushing the limits, not just for themselves, but I think they keep on getting matundoo to get new colors, new flavors. Like, they inspire others to also not get too comfortable.

Yeah. But yeah, like the fact that they share a common lineage is like, yeah, it makes total sense. I'm actually shocked that there's not more. Like, they didn't get their own infinity rings. Like, we got hot dogs. We got tacos. We got fried chicken.

Taco Bell is under the umbrella of Yum Brands, which Weiner's initials not. But Young Brands being the KFC, the Habit Burger, the Pizza Hut, and the Taco Bell. And then Long John Silver's and A&W used to be in that Infinity Gone. Before I moved to Los Angeles to pursue comedy, my dream job was to work at Young Brands, because they have a headquarters and I forget, it's either Irvine or Lake Forest. It's like right on the border. I went to school at UC Irvine. So like on my way out, I was like, it'd be great to work.

Sure. Marketing for Taco Bell, you know? Yeah. And I know Taco Bell, listen, we got to get into it. There's a whole thing, all the lettuce. I probably would have been able to help them get around that. Yeah. But this was, and it was the fourth meal, you know, you know, you hungry for a late night snack,

get your 4 a.m. They did great. So here's the thing. I've never been a big Taco Bell guy, but I can't, I can't say that they didn't find a niche and kind of be like, they stamped it as like, this is our domain. Yeah. You want food late at night. My brain thinks Taco Bell and then rationalizes Wendy's. Yeah.

Like, you talk yourself down. I have to, well, I prefer Wendy's. Yeah. But it's like Taco Bell is the first thing I think of when I think of late night food. Yeah. And then I guess Jack in the Box. I think they're like maybe one of the most aggressively millennial fast food brands. That's so funny.

We're doing an episode on Wienertesne's a level. We're just going hard on talk about. But again, this is a common threat. I think that to me when I look at this, it almost makes me sad because I see what Wiener Chesel could have been. Like if they were just continuing to lean into this. But I think you talked about in the history, you know, they kind of split. And that's like the fork in the road. One went this way, the other went that way.

Also, I don't think Glenn Bell is still alive. If he is, I mean, he's very old, and I doubt he's still involved with Taco Bell. I don't know if the push for Taco Bell's innovation came from Glenn Bell. So for Galardi to have the lineage of working with Glenn Bell, I don't know if innovation was exactly the mantra until later. Buddy, innovation's not the mantra of fast food. You copy, you steal from the best, you know?

Just steal. Yeah. I'm surprised, you know, and I see that with like a lot of places where it's like, oh, hey, you're doing chicken burgers or chicken fries? We're doing it now. We're going to do it now. We're going to do it different. Because Chick-fil-A did the chicken sandwich and then Popeyes came out with one. Burger King came out with one. Wendy's came out with one. Wendy's came out with one. Like all the prevalent places are like, we have chicken sandwiches now. Yeah. And then they started doing like hot chicken. Everybody's copying that. Yeah. And then I don't know how many places I've seen this, but like, have you seen like they're starting to do like, I forgot what it's like that Korean spice. Uh, gochu jeng? Yeah, that one.

Gochoo jang. Yeah, like, a lot of, I forgot where I saw it, but like other places, like, we got to like a special limited time, you know, uh, burger or fries or whatever dipped in that. With like the Korean palette. Yeah. Yeah. Because K-pop demon hunters. We're going to steal from the best.

It took over the world. It hit. Yeah. The name Wienersnitzel is not accurate. At dinner one night, Glenn Bell's wife, Martha, spotted Weiner Schnitzel in a cookbook and suggested it because it sounded memorable. Galardia initially thought nobody sane would use it. A vener-snitzel is actually a Viennese-Bretted veal cutlet, not a hot dog, and the original Derr-Vieners-Snytsl wasn't even grammatically correct German.

Derr disappeared in 1977. The 1978 brand logo featuring the Red W was created by legendary Psycho and Vertigo designer Saul Bass, and in 2017, the chain finally served schnitzel sandwiches for the first time, essentially making good on its nonsensual. name 56 years later. So you're telling me in the 1970s, they invented clickbait. What do you mean? Oh, hey, this is a Wiener-Snissel and people are like, what is that?

I haven't even heard of that. It's a German thing. It's like a Viennese. And then it's like, no, it's not. It's a hot dog. Yeah. I came in for Viennese breaded veal pastries. And you're giving a hot dog.

And what you're getting is like pig hooves in a intestine casing. Yeah. Yeah. Again, groundbreaking stuff. I want to see that. What's the 2026 version of that? I want, we're interested in a sort of like, and they did it today a little bit.

We'll talk about what we ate, but like cereal and ice cream? I don't think that's that crazy. No, that's not that crazy. I don't think that's that crazy. I do also love that they're like, they brought in such an epic designer to be like, look, we're dropping the dirr,

make our logo guy from Psycho. And the guy's like, what if the W was a hot dog? We make a little round, like a squeakly. It'll look like casing. Like casing, yeah. Yeah.

Wienersnitzel may sell hot dogs, but its defining flavor is its secret recipe chili, dumped enthusiastically overdogs, burgers, and fries. The chili cheese dog is now its bestseller at roughly 20 million a year, ahead of corn dogs and plain chili dogs. The menu got another nostalgia injection when parent Galardi Group acquired Tasty Freeze in 2003, putting their vintage soft serve into most Viener Schnitzel restaurants. So have you been to a tasty freeze? Not on its own. I've been to places that serve it.

There are, I believe, three locations in, like, the greater L.A. area. I've been to two of them. And to me, the wild thing is I will go to winter still. So I'll get a little bit of tasty freeze. But I will go to a tasty freeze and, like, where's the chili fries? Where is the chili? Oh. Because all they have is, like, boring.

Sorry, I'm just going to say it. Boring burgers, boring fries, you know. Again, what makes me an interesting special? Like you said, they throw that shit on everything. Can I curse? Yeah. They throw that chili cheese shit all over the place, you know? We had one today and you open it and chili just pours out of the wrapping.

And I love that. It's like they're five guys fries. It's like, yeah. They're overstuffing. Slop a couple of bit more. The people love it. The little kids like to put their hands. It's a big ladle.

It's a big ladle to fill. And it's good chili. I was kind of surprised because I'm, I like chili. I always assume when it's like, like chili for a hot dog or chili for a burger, that it's like lowest common denominator, no effort chili because it's like, yeah, but the burger is the main thing.

This was decent chili. And you know what? They cut out the stuff that you don't need in chili. No tomatoes, no onions. No beans. No beans. Yeah. No celery?

What is celery doing in my chili? Adding body, don't need body. Just give me meat and tomato sauce. Yeah. And that's what we had. It was like purely like. It's very simple. A very, almost like a gravy, like a meaty, very, like, thick meat sauce.

Yeah. And again, they sell that stuff for $5 a can, which you feel is too much. A little bit too much for what it is. But, like, I can't argue with like, it's like a can of beef for five bucks. Actually, might even be. And it's also like, taste is taste. Do you think the taste is worth it? Then pay the man, you know?

I do. I do. The classic red and yellow A-frame Wienershnitzel locations, literally sent cars through the middle of the building, a design that became one of fast foods instantly recognizable silhouettes. More than 90 were still operating in 2023. The original Wilmington stand, which is still slinging glissies today, was made a Los Angeles historical cultural monument in 2013,

specifically as an important early dining spot tied to L.A. car culture. That old school drive-thru nostalgia remains a huge part of the brand's public identity. You know what I never noticed until now when you said that they have that A-frame building? That's like what Waterberger had its architecture for the longest time in Texas. I believe now that I hear it out loud, every fast-dude place kind of has a signature look. McDonald's has the golden arches. Pizza Hut has the trapezoidal. Taco bells, not anymore, but they used to have that little church bell in the top, the steeple or whatever.

So now that like I hear you say like, oh my gosh, yeah, they do have that signature look. And moreover, everybody has that signature look. And it has that weird white house looking thing. Yeah, yeah. A building? Yeah, like a white building. But like, you know what I mean? Like they all are shaped the same and they're all,

uh, have the same color. It's almost like by design. Yeah. Well, and we've also gotten away from it. Like when a modern pizza hut arises now, it's in a strip mall or it's like just a rectangular building. And it's like you took such a fun element out of the identity. And I know it's because they don't have.

have confidence that in 10 years that building will still be a pizza hut, but like, believe in yourself and commit because as a consumer, I want these. Well, and I think goes twofold. On the one hand, when you see a Taco Bell that still has the bell, it's a flex. Like, we've been here since the 80s. It is like, I can, this is a good spot. It's going to be here for years to come. But conversely, you ever been to like a T-Mobile store with the Taco Bell, bell still?

And you're like, what's going on here? It probably hurts their resale value. So like, you know, I get it. I'm on both sides. I'm on both sides. Like, I love it when you're like, still got the pizza hut hut. On the other side, I'm just like, what is this planet fitness doing? But I would nerd out over that.

Yeah. Like I, as a fast food enthusiast, the idea of like going to an H&R block them, like, hey, can you cover my taxes? And also so clearly was like a sonic. Like there's a drive. your tax people come out on roller skates and all that. Like, I want that. Yeah. You know, our friend Shelby just did a show about theme parks.

And one of the things that she was really harping on was immersion. And I totally agree with that. Like, whether it is an HR block, whether it's a circuit city, whether it is. Circuit city is a great example. You can still tell where those were. Yeah, that like block, that weird like square. Yeah, the charging block. Yeah, the charging block.

And it's kind of like, I'm not just going to get appliances or here to get, you know, something like tronics. I'm here for an experience. I'm here to enter a new world. Yeah. Did you ever have, did you ever go to Fry's electronic? Yeah.

Fries used to have all those themes. They'd have like a Roman one, a space one. The space one in Burbank, I remember like the, just the big spaceship that looks like it crashed into the front of the store when I moved here. The one that I grew up with in Found Valley was like Greek God themed. It was amazing. Yeah, they'd have like. I've only been to the spaceship one. They have like columns and it's like, you know, like the ladies pouring the, the, the water.

You know, like, whatever. And it was like, every time I went there, yes, I'm going to get like a PlayStation game. Hooray for me. But also, it's like entering a wonderland. I'm going to see Hercules. And it was the same thing with fast food, you know, like everybody knows McDonald's payplace. We all been through those ballpits, right? Or you go to like Burger King and they used to have those like signature boots with like the brown and like the teals, you know.

So like a lot of those things, they are, look at me talking about this. It's been like 20 years, 30 years. and I'm still like nostalgic for it. And I think we are missing that. When was the last time, hey, what does your Trader Joe's look like? Are you nostalgic for that? Or is it just blah? I mean, every Trader Joe's looks the same, but in an uninspired way.

I think I picked the wrong example. Hey, when was the last time you went to your Forever 21? You're like, this is special. You're just like, get me those $5 t-shirts. Yeah. Let me get a leather studded belt. Pleather. It's polyurethane and it falls apart after two years.

It's true. The delicious one, TDO, is an anthropomorphic chili dog, whose running gag is that everyone he meets wants to eat him, making him perhaps the only fast food mascot actively fleeing his own customers. Weiner Schnitzel has leaned similarly hard into Weiner humor with the long-running Weiner Nationals Dox and Draces, a million-dollar cash-in on a corndog promotion built around marked corned dog sticks, and a NASCAR sponsorship for action sports icon Travis Pist. So earlier when you mentioned getting the branding with Hitchcock's guy, I thought you were talking about the anthropomorphic hot dog. First of all, did not know he had a name, the delicious one. TDO. Very creepy. But yeah, now to hear you say it out loud, like, here he is.

There he is. I got a plush TDO. And I'm not going to lie, he looks freaking delicious. And I even love that the posture of this, his back is like arched out as though he's in motion running. Yeah, his hands are like flowing around. He is running. Yeah, and I guess I've never met more, like, there's no mascots. That's like that existential.

The closest thing is the cows. The Chick-fil-A cows. Yeah. Eat more chicken. Ha, ha, ha. Please don't eat us. But like Tony the Tiger, Sunny from Cocoa puffs. They're all like, I eat the cereal with you.

Yeah. This is the first one that's like. And then there's the Tricks Rabbit who's like, no, you're not allowed to have it, but he wants it. Let me have it. I was a kid at once. I have an inner child that you're hurting right now by keeping the tricks away from I just realized the tricks rabbit is the inverse of TDO. TDO is the product running away and Trix is I want the product, but it's running away from me.

Yeah, very wily coyote and roadrunner. I want an Acme cartoon that's TDO starring up with with the Tricks of Rabbit. Yeah. But yeah, very disturbing now that I think about as a kid, like wanting one of these hot dogs. Yeah. The chain exploded to 218 restaurants by 1968, but Galardi later admitted he expanded too aggressively, leaving himself millions in debt and facing a string of lawsuits before recovering. Today, the brand remains overwhelmingly Western.

Its live locator currently lists 321 U.S. restaurants across 13 states, including 213 in California and 48 in Texas, which is like most of their footprint. confusingly, 2026 franchise materials still quote about 340, so the company's published totals are not perfectly synchronized. I am by no means a business person. I have a hard time with my own personal finances as it is. But I will say maybe part of the success is spreading too quickly too fast because it gets your name out there. You know, because again, everybody knows about when you're not. So they may not have eaten it. They may not even like it, but they know about it. And at the end of the day, like, millions in debt, sure, that sounds bad.

It actually sounds really horrible. It actually sounds like a bad spot to be in. But you're going to get yourself out. But at what cost, you know? You're going to dig yourself out out. It was worth it. It was worth it. Everybody, you think this is built off of millions in debt.

Yeah. This isn't built off of playing it safe. Yeah. TDO in my You Must Bowl right here doesn't happen if they played it safe. I also love that he has chili leaking out as like a vest. That's his bile. That's where his stomach acid goes. That's how he digests.

I want to know what he eats. What does he eat? Pig hooves. Pig hooves. Yeah. Horse bladder. Toonails. Cowanus.

Everything they eat in Europe that we don't even know. They love cowen. That's all the Oregon meat that we're not eating. Yeah. Wiener Schnitzel's latest expansion push is less about building new brick and mortar stores and more about putting their weeners everywhere. In 2025, they began. and placing restaurants inside select Walmart stores,

with 50-plus units then in development, and in 2026 launched its first major retail grocery product, frozen weiner-snitzel corn dogs, initially through Texas's H-E-B after tests in California and Nevada. It's an oddly fitting evolution for a chain whose greatest strength has always been making the humble hot dog aggressively convenient. I don't like that thing you said.

I know you winced when I said putting their wieners everywhere. Yeah. And I saw like you float out of your body. I kind of stopped listening after that. It was like when Dr. Strange like punches somebody and they float up. It is, you know, as someone who works in comedy, I can tell that was like some PR guy, some, you know, CMO that was just like, hey, say this. It's kind of funny. Well, they've got, like, ads that are like, you know, we've got the best weaner.

Like, America loves our weeners. I have a hat that says I heart weeners. Yeah. Like, they've played into the sexual innuendo of it all. Yeah, but that's like a, I'm assuming a blurb on their, you know. Yeah. Like, that's for investors to read. I'm all for funning games.

But, like, at some point, we have this, like, imagine you're in a court deposition. You're like a really rich finance guy. A stenography. reading it back to you dryly. Michael, I'm seeing here that you've asked investors to put in $5 million for a small share of your company. That's correct. Quote, I would like to get more weaners in more places. I would like to plead the Fifth Amendment.

Okay, you can plead the Fifth, but I'm going to read more official statements. So even though you're not saying it now, at one point you did quote that there's a weener missing from this corner. Let's put a weiner there. I will reserve my Fifth Amendment right to not incriminate myself further. Okay, well, then if you're not going to criminal yourself, I'm just going to read one more thing here at the very bottom. You said, look at that crack, look at that hole, look at that place. Let's fill it with Wieners. I got it.

I got it. Your Honor, he's starting to crack. I plead the FIP. I bleed the FIP. He's squirting chili everywhere. That'll do it for this week's eat deeds. David, before this podcast, you told me that if you don't get the first. to talk about your favorite polarizing and divisive topics on this show, you'd, and I quote,

sick eight chan on me. And since I'm a coward, I cave to your demands to talk about your controversial restaurant hot take in my next segment, the heat lamp. David, let's hear under my heat lamp, my heat lamp. Give you my hottest steak. Controversial but never fake. Heat lamb. So hot right now. David, let's hear it. What is your? restaurant hot take. Some foods are worth the diarrhea.

I don't know if I disagree with you. Yeah. This isn't. Okay, so maybe it's not hot enough. Should I get hotter? No, I'm a garbage person. Some foods you should seek out to get the diarrhea. Get that experience.

All right, which foods are in that tier for you? For me, the biggest one is Nashville hot chicken. So just to preface this, I was never a spice guy. I've never eaten spicy foods. I don't even like pepper in most of my soups. But during the pandemic, we were eating out a lot. And one of the restaurants that was closest to my apartment was this place called Angry Chicks. And if you've never had Tennessee Hot Chicken, let me just pass them so many times and I want to try them.

Are they good? It's very good. It's a lot of food for, like, you know, you get a lot of bang for your buck. But it is some of the spiciest foods you ever had. A lot of people claim that they can take spicy foods, but then they'll eat that. And it's just like, this is like pain. This is like scientifically engineered to make it an uncomfortable experience. And, you know, when I first visited Nashville, I chickened out.

There's this really famous place called Hattie Bees. They make. That's where the Nashville style hot chicken, they're like the, I believe the originators, if not the originators, they're popularized. They popularized it. But then now, I'm sure as you know, there's hot chicken places everywhere you turn. You throw a rock and then you find like a daze hot chicken or like an angry chicken. chicks, you know, like it's just really popular than now. So anyways, I started eating them. And sorry,

the whole reason why the whole pandemic of it makes sense is, look, it was a crazy time. If you don't remember, we were stuck at our apartments for all day long. So you're so close to a toilet, you have nothing to worry about. And that's what I was going to say. We were cleaning everything. We were cleaning our groceries. So you better bet I was cleaning my toilet every other day. You know, I was cleaning my toilet. I was stuck at home. I was like, I got nothing to do. Might as well wash that toilet. So I was unafraid to paint that bad boy. So I decided, you know, I can be a little bit

more adventurous now. And again, yeah, like if it's spicy, I'm going to drink some milk or whatever. I'm going to make a mess. Milk, another diarrhea. Anyways. It is just so good. It's like a new sensation. It's like watching a horror movie we're like, this is, you know, making my body uncomfortable, but it's also, I feel

alive. I'm trying different things. And the experience doesn't end with the meal because six to eight hours later. There's a souvenir. There's a souvenir. There's a little aftershock, and you get to feel it in a whole different orifice. And obviously, I'm not trying to say, like, I'm joking. That's not the pleasurable part, but like, it's worth the...

The food is good enough. The juice is worth the squeeze. Yeah. Yeah. And that's just spicy foods. You know, I think I'm very sensitive. My brother's lactose intolerant. I think a lot of people my family are lactose tolerant.

I'm great, you know, thankfully not lactose intolerant. I still drink milk to the day, keeping those enzymes strong. but I understand that for a lot of people, it can cause a lot of tummy issues, but ice cream. That's all I've got to say. Worth it. Totally worth it.

Take the lactate. Don't take the latte. It's worth the pain. And then like the last one for me is just, I did, one of my favorite cuisines is Indian food. Are you fan? I have had very little Indian food,

but I've liked what I've had. To me, it's way hotter on the lips than anywhere else. Yeah, but even not the spicy food, but you just get like, you know, like Indian curries. There's a lot of cream in them. I think that's what it is. A lot of spices.

A lot of things that maybe could be irritable to your tummy if you're not used to it. But in any case, I'm also like a late in life Indian food experience. I didn't have it until I was like 22. But again, once I had it, maybe I probably had Indian food like every other week since I was 22.

I love it so much, but it affects you. My stomach still hasn't caught up to it, you know? Yeah. But it is one of those things. where it's like, yeah, the mouth feel is worth the butt feel. Sure. I think for me, the only thing that really affects me in that way is if I'm having a lot of cereal, all that milk. But like, otherwise, I have a pretty iron stomach, which is crazy because I also have Crohn's disease.

So I have inflammatory bowel disease, but not irritable bowel syndrome. So I can have flare-ups and have a whole host of issues, but I've not found foods that trigger it, which I'm very lucky for. I'm in a small percentage of people who live with that disease that don't have that. And look, I think at the end of the day, all bodies are different. We all processed foods differently. But, you know, they always say, like, it's inevitable. Like everything, you're going to be born. You're going to eat.

You're going to shit. And then you die. Those are like the four inevitabilities of the human experience. Everything else in the middle, who knows what it is. But if you're going to, like, you're going to get diarrhea. I'm sorry. I don't care. Maybe you're living a life where you're just eating saltines and drinking water.

and you're like, I never have diarrhea. You're also not living life. Yeah. You know, life is worth, life is about the highs and lows. It's about eating the most delicious hot chicken you ever had and then shitting your brains out at 3 a.m. in the morning. That's life. What is pleasure, if not a contrast to pain? And how do you know how good that pleasure is unless you've experienced the pain?

Exactly. That's very good point. Exactly. One last thing I'm going to say on this topic. I know it's getting a little bit gross. Sorry. Put the time code so they can skip ahead. You got a little.

You're saying that at the end of it. But yeah, one last thing, you know, it's 2026. I love where technologies brought us. We have like medical science, the vaccines. We have technology that's like helping us drive cars. It's amazing. Is this leading to badez? And we have a futurist.

We're so locked. We have a futurist here. We have someone who knows what they're talking about. Just get a bidet. And honestly, and I, Diary is a thing of the past. If you get one thing out of this podcast, don't be afraid to try that. That one thing on your list.

Take the leap. Oh, my gosh. What do you talk about? Like, situon peppers. Oh, it seems a little spicy. Just do it. Just do it. And sit on that bidet for a couple hours.

Well, thank you for your hot take. And it actually ended up being literally hot because of the subject matter. But it is now time to turn our attention to other people and hear what they thought about the Wiener Schnitzel that we visited in this week's Yelp from Strangers. We need a little yoke. little Yelp from strangers A one star, two star, three star, four or five y'i.

So get a little Yelp. A little Yelp. Give us those complaints while you literally whine. This is Yelp from Strangers, our segment where we turn to Yelp and read out our favorite. One, two, three, four, and five star Yelp reviews. Do you mind if I start with the first one? Please be my guest. All right.

One Star Review. This is a one star review from Justice I from San Diego, California, written July 3, 2020. Love the name. I'm going to say, I'm going to preface a little bit, I normally will read reviews as they are in terms of typos and wrong words. Because sometimes people just, they put no care into their yell reviews. It's the internet. With this review in particular, it is written terribly. And yet, the subject.

matter is so interesting that I will be taking liberties to autocorrect what they're doing because I think the story is much more worth talking about than the mistakes in how they presented. Got it. Justice, take this like with respect and with love because we actually love what you said. This is a, this is, I'm going through with my red pen, but you get an A minus for subject. This was, uh, yeah, July 2020. Yesterday at 7.30 in the a.m., I parked my car in the parking lot next to the dumpsters.

I have parked here on a daily basis for six months and in general almost a year. When I came out of my house at two, the car was gone. I looked and read the sign. I did not break any ordinance. So politely, I walked up to the back door to inquire why my car was towed off a parking lot, clearly designated for tenants. We were talking when out of nowhere, one of the employees, the one I later came to know as the employees who called to have my car toad,

he saw me talking and in a violent, angry manner, shoulder-checked me into the door. He then stared me down and told me to get the fuck out of here. The entire time, the other employees, fearing he may attack me, told him to calm down they would handle it. We both left. I came back in an hour to attempt to find out the cause of all this. as soon as he saw me, he flew out of the kitchen, took his shirt off, and started threatening to kick my ass and acting irrationally violent and angry. Again, my car got towed. That had all my stuff in it because I've been moving and moving storages and taking care of a one-year-old and

working. Even if the toe was on the up and up, why couldn't I get info about it? Well, I know why because in that car was some very expensive items, and I'm going to find out tomorrow if they're there. Was there a follow-up? Sometimes they do follow-ups on these reviews. Oh, my goodness. I think that is so intense. That's a harrowing tale.

And I'm just going to be for real right now, almost nothing to do with Wiener-Snitzel. But it was a Wiener-Snitzel employee. Yeah, but I do think it would have been funny if it was a two-star review, and at the end they were like, Chili Dog was pretty fired. though. How many, how many stars is that? One. Of course it's a one. Someone took their shirt off and threatened to kick your ass.

I don't, yeah. And like the fact that even the other, their coworkers were like, hey, hey, hey, hey, chill out, you know. But like, I'm, because I'm not trying to think and like, why would somebody get your car towed? I mean, my speculation is they did say they had a bunch of stuff in it. So they might have thought like, oh, look, there's like an unhoused person parking their car here living in our parking lot. I'm going to have it towed because it's unsighted. because it's filled with stuff. I've never heard of our life. Look, if you're taking your shirt off and threatening to fight someone at any point, at any escalation level, you are the psycho.

What year was that? 22. I was frequenting. Yeah. That could have been me. Could have been you. That could have been me. I didn't park my,

I mostly get it to go, but that could have been me. Yeah. That is scary. That's going to think twice. I want justice for justice. I do want justice, and I'm not realizing

that's probably a pseudonym. is their only Yelp review. Yeah. Yeah. Well, hey, Justice out there, whoever you are, I'm on your side, and I hope that person there doesn't work there anymore. Hope you're still able to park there at 7.30 in the morning and just get your food. And just honestly, it's a community space.

And I hope that you're able to, like, return to it as a community space. But I totally get if you switch to doghouse. This next This next Yelp review is by Joel S March 27th, 2017 and it's a three star review. In fourth grade, oh, this is a sad one, okay.

In fourth grade, I lost the spelling bee because of the word Wienershnitzel. That painful defeat prevented me from eating there until my psychologist told me that the only way to heal was to go there. I think that's a lie. Because I don't think they put proper nouns into spelling bees. I don't think Wiener Schnitzel's going to be your word.

It's also a foreign word and also we heard it's grammatically incorrect. But let's take it for face value. Well, there's no dur. They didn't have them spell der Wiener Shmills. Oh, Wierstel was fine. It's just not Dür Wiener Fentzel. But I think that's such an American thing to do, though. What?

Like in our national spelling bee, let's... This is an important word for you to do. It's a brand name. It's a proper noun. You know, like, can't you imagine getting like, you know, terriaki and a spelling bee? And you're like, and you have to know that because that's important to us as a culture and as a country. My psychologist told me the only way to heal was to go there. So I did. And it's pretty good. Now my doctor is telling me that I have to stop going to heal my high cholesterol. What a pivot. I can't win. My psychologist says to go. My doctor says I can't. This is fourth grade all over. Yeah. All right. I was on your side for the first half. Yeah. Second half. This guy's a joke. This guy's a joker. This guy, hire him. Hey, uh, uh, cards in's humanity team. Hire this guy. He's got the goods. I actually, I picked to that because I was like, this is a well written. Like, it had a twist in there. It had emotional stakes. Yeah. Joel, if you're still out there, uh, writing comedy, let us know, hit us up. Love to collab. Uh, you're a funny guy. And I would also love to grab Woonerson. to do with you some time. Yeah. He can't anymore.

And unless that was not a joke and we're kind of being jerks, make it funny you. I don't think. Maybe that was serious in which case, buddy, I got a trick for high cholesterol. Talk to me out. I had a whole high cholesterol thing two years ago. I'm better now. The secret eating one meal a day. Okay.

Sorry. I was like, you can't not say it. I didn't want to say that. Okay, I don't want that to me. That's like, that is what I do. obviously terrible advice obviously consult a physician consult a doctor

or whatever I just like I love eating what I like to eat and I did have high cholesterol high cosmetic decides high everything the solution eat less but eat what I want but eat a lot less and then like my doctor's like

this is great what are you doing and I was like I'm walking more not really lying to your doctors lying to my doctor but the numbers are good hey there it's me Michael. And now that we're in season four, I'm adding more content to my Patreon. Not only can you hear the extended Yelp from Stranger segment with three more reviews, and not only can you get an exclusive full episode covering an extra chain restaurant on the last day of each month, but I've added an extra chat with my guests where we discussed their go-to fast food and chain restaurants and talk about why they love them so much. I hope you'll come check it out, and you can get your first week completely free of charge. That's patreon.com slash Fine Dining Podcast.

I appreciate and love you all. Back to the episode. And that's part one. Tune in next week as we tell you our reviews of Wiener Schnitzel, David, thank you so much for being here. Thanks so much for having me. This was a blast.

Tell people where they can find you on socials. If you want to get more, listen, there's almost no overlap in terms of, I'm not talking about food, I'm not talking about hot dogs. You'll never catch me posting about Wiener Snitzel. I go to Costco for hot. You're not going to share any of these posts when this comes out.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You'll catch like just this episode. But if you like my thoughts, my opinions, my sense of humor, you can follow me at David D. Long. That's L-U-O-N-G on Instagram. Do a lot of comedy around Los Angeles, UCB theater, improv and sketch. But yeah, that's what you'll get from me. If you come here looking for more like hot dog stuff, you probably won't find it. I just want to make that clear.

I don't want anybody to jump on my page, follow me. It's like, it's been two months. He hasn't said another thing about a hot dog. Yeah, yeah. You never followed up on that dog house rack. And if you do want hot dog content, you can follow me on social media at Fine Dining Podcast on Instagram and TikTok. You can go on my Discord where there's a link in the description of the episode

where you can just go chat with me about hot dogs. Or if you want to pay for hot dog content, I do have a Patreon. That's patreon. dot com slash fine dining podcast where you get an exclusive episode of a new restaurant on the last day of every month as well as the extended yelp from strangers segments interviews with my guests about their preferred restaurant rotations and occasional bonuses like songs that I put out and whatnot so follow me there if you feel like supporting the show but either way thank you so much for watching and listening and for enjoying this episode on wiener snitzel's history we're just going to be

sitting here one more week waiting on our table before we review it and compare it to Chili's next week. Thanks for listening. See you next week. Have a fine day. Waiting on our table, waiting on our table. The step is done and we had some fun. Now we're waiting on our table. When next time we're stuck in line. Waiting on our table, we're so hungry. Waiting on our table, waiting on our table. We've got to continue. I search for mediocrity.

They're waiting on a day ball sleeping in next week