First Things First - Myles Garrett Should Ask for a Trade & Wildes Should’ve Asked for His Cookie 🍪 | BONUS

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

Kevin Wildes tells the story of the time he ordered a black & white cookie latte and expected a black & white cookie to come with it. The only problem? It didn't come with one, and he never asked for it. Wildes explains why people should say what they want. Which brings us to Myles Garrett. If he wants a real shot at winning, is it time to do the uncomfortable thing and ask for a trade? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to the Kevin Wilde's podcast network. I've got yet another story. It's partly about me. It's partly about Miles Garrett. It's partly about asking for what you want because life is too short and your time is too precious. I learned this the hard way. I was headed home. It was that Grand Central. and they have several Zabars outposts at Grand Central. Sell cookies. They sell giant beers. Also, what happened to just 12-ounce beers? Everything's got to be a 22-ounce beer.

You're walking around with a canteen of Bud Light. It's a normal beer. But regardless, I wasn't interested in any of the sweets, the croissants. I wasn't interested in anything, really. I was just headed to my train. But there, on a. sandwich board. Wasn't a sandwich.

It was just the triangular board. It said, try Zabar's Black and White Latte. It comes with a little piece of black and white cookie because Zabars is famous for their black and white cookies, which are to die for. But I can't eat a full one. It's like almost like a miniature cake masquerading as a cookie.

Like how muffins masquerading. is cupcakes. This is a cookie masquerading as a cake or vice versa. She said, ooh, I would like that. And I've had one before. Like, this is great. I think they shoot some chocolate syrup in there. You get a latte and they put a little vanilla in there. They put it on top. And then they give you a little slice of cookie. They take one cookie. They chop it all up. They give you a little one. So I said, I'll have one black and white latte, please. I said, sure, it's like $6. Everything's like $8 now. Everything used to be $4 is now $8.75 somehow. Wow. I'm really getting to economics now.

So the lovely woman makes the latte. I can't wait for it. And she hands it to me over the counter. It's a little high. She hands it to me over the counter. I take it. There's no cookie. I see that there's no cookie.

I obviously want the cookie. It's a combo package. It's a little bit. It's appetizer and dessert. The whole thing is named after the cookie. There's no cookie. So I quickly ran through my options. Option one.

Where's my cookie? Eliminated. Option two. Try to be too polite. Excuse me. Do you have a cookie? That's out. Also, like, am I in England?

Option three. Like, agro? Like, what's up with the cookie? That's not me either. and now the window, I've already paid. The window is shrinking. Like, I'm wearing, I play chess, but I play quick games of chess.

All of a sudden there's like three seconds. Like, I'm about to lose. Like, what am I supposed to do? You know what I did? Bounced. No cookie. I'm talking about it three weeks later. I didn't have the gumption to ask for the cookie.

I didn't find, I didn't have a way to ask for the cookie and not feel embarrassed or feel weird or I don't know. I didn't ask for the cookie. I wanted the cookie. I didn't do it. I'm almost 50 years old. I felt weird asking for a cookie. Okay?

Doesn't mean it wasn't right for me. And life's too short. Maybe it's a lesson from the universe that I can pass on that I have to absorb this pain so that you won't have to. Whether you're a normal person watching this. whether you're a weird person watching this or whether you're Miles Garrett. Miles Garrett, look, I rock with Miles Garrett for a few reasons. One, it's always personal.

He was at the Espeys wearing a cowboy hat and he was nice to my kids. That's already I like you. Number two, he's awesome. He's an awesome player and I just rock with awesome players. Number three, loves Halloween. He loves Halloween. He's not just going to Home Depot and buying the giant skeleton. He is making his own tombstones, and he was putting, like, quarterbacks on there.

Guy loves Halloween. He's got a sense of humor. And number four, he always wearing cowboy hats. So I want Miles Garrett to be happy, and I want him to succeed. The Brown's restructured his contract. Did they save any cap space? Not really, according to the cap experts. All they did was make it easier to trade Miles Garrett if he wants to.

He's got a no trade clause. So here are the three reasons why I think Miles Garrett should learn from other NFL greats and me who didn't get a cookie by asking for what he really wants. Number one, it's pretty obvious. The Browns are going nowhere. Next year, their win total is at six and a half. They're in prime rebuild mode.

They already have two first round picks and a second round pick. They have three picks in the first 39. The games, home games for the Browns, are getting a little Brooklyn Nets-ish. where maybe I go to this Hornets Nets game to see the visiting team. Ravens are more interesting. Bengals are more interesting. Falcons and Colts, like, I don't know.

Do I want to see Tua? It's just you're in prime NFL Red Zone quad box and you're the fifth game. Just maybe if things go to a commercial or something. Reason number two. You can't really affect winning. I've said this on the show and I've gotten lit up. And I mean it in a nice way. You can't affect winning with the Browns the way they're currently constructed.

October 26th in Gillette was the birth of this take. Miles Garrett had a career game. It was one of the best defensive games I had ever seen in my life. He was all over Drake May. he had five sacks, a bunch of pressures, a bunch of get rid of the balls quick for Drake May. He was dominant. Can't be better defensively. The Patriots won 32 to 13.

The Browns lost their 12th road game in a row. So if you play great and the team still gets crushed and the offense scores 32 points, maybe we had a defensive score, I don't remember. It's not right for you. It doesn't work. And number three, it's time to add some team hardware to your trophy case. Only nine guys have ever won multiple defensive player of the year. I'll name the nine guys and I'll also name their best team accomplishment.

Reggie White won a Super Bowl. Mike Singletary won a Super Bowl. Ray Lewis won two. Mean Joe Green won four. Lawrence Taylor won two. Aaron Donald 1-1. Bruce Smith didn't win, played in four. J.J. Watt has played in nine playoff games.

Not great. Miles Garrett has played in three playoff games. I just want you to follow the path of other guys who are either in the Super Bowl or winning the Super Bowl, and that's not going to happen in Cleveland. And I know what people are going to say, Wilds, Wiles, don't you understand loyalty? doesn't loyalty mean something to you? Like, yeah, but in a goodwill hunting Ben Affleck type of way, they were doing demo.

And if you go back and watch a scene by hand, they were just grabbing cinder blocks and just throwing them off a second floor. Now, why wasn't the crane demoing that part of the building? I don't know. Will hunting and Ben Affle had to be up there, throwing those cinder blocks off by their lonesome. And here's the quote from Ben Affleck, young, young Ben Affleck.

It'd be an insult to watch if you're still here in 20 years. Hanging around here is a waste of your time. Aggressive, don't mean to hurt Cleveland Browns fans that much. But Ben Affleck was being nice to Matt Damon. He didn't dislike Goodwill hunting. He loved him, in fact. They're always out having a blast, drinking beers, watching the Patriots. He just wanted something better for him.

That's me in Miles Garrett. The other option is like, well, he shouldn't have to ask for a trade wilds. That's not, you know, you shouldn't tell him what to do. Guys, he literally already asked for a trade. He's already done this. He's already laid out all the reasons why he should just do it again. As a kid dreaming of the NFL, all I focused on was the ultimate goal. of winning a Super Bowl, and that goal fuels me today more than ever.

He talks about how he loves the fans, talks about how he loves the city. The goal was never to go from Cleveland to Canton. It has always been to compete for and win a Super Bowl. With that in mind, I have requested to be traded from the Cleveland Browns. You don't even have to write anything new. You can write the same thing. Say, I'd like to be traded. I'd like to win a Super Bowl.

If you're ever at Zabars, if I see this happen, Miles Garrett, if I see that you announce that you want to be playing on the grandest stages, I think it will be inspirational. For other veterans, Janice, for example, who wants to play on a bigger stage, for kids around the world, like you mentioned, dreaming being in the NFL. And honestly, for me, next time I order a black and white latte, I'll say, can I please have a cookie too?