Football Daily - The Commentators’ View: Hotel underpants & Haaland’s deal

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

5 Live commentators John Murray, Ian Dennis and Alistair Bruce-Ball answer listener questions. From John’s Cyprus underpants story to Ali’s old pet Betsy the beagle causing mischief. Plus the panel react to Erling Haaland signing a new 10-year deal with Manchester City. And will Ali’s losing streak continue in Clash of the Commentators?02:10 Did John avoid the pigeons at Tamworth? 05:50 Commentary boxes behind glass. 13:10 TCV goes international! 17:25 John’s Cyprus underpants story. 24:30 Will Ali lose again in Clash of the Commentators? 32:45 Ali’s mischievous Betsy the beagle. 34:50 Haaland signs 10-year deal. 38:10 Commentating in stadia not designed for football. 40:20 Great Glossary of Football Commentary.BBC Sounds / 5 Live Premier League commentaries this weekend: Sat 18 Jan 1500 Brentford v Liverpool on 5 Live, Sat 18 Jan 1730 Arsenal v Aston Villa on 5 Live, Sun 19 Jan 1400 Man Utd v Brighton & Hove Albion on 5 Live, Sun 19 Jan 1630 Ipswich Town v Man City on 5 Live, Sun 19 Jan 1830 Man City v Man Utd (WSL) on 5 Sports Extra.

BBC Sounds Music Radio Podcasts The Commentator's View with Alistair Bruce Ball John Murray and Ian Dennis

on the Football Daily Hello I'm Ian Dennis this is The Commentator's View where we lift the lid on life as five live commentators and as always I'm joined by John Murray and Ali Bruce Ball

have you had a good week? Yes a very good week, Ian, because I had two very competitive FA Cup ties last weekend and then I've had a few days off as well, which involved me going back to my native Northumberland and giving a talk at the AGM of the Northumberland branch of the Scottish Blackface Sheep Breeders Association, which I very much enjoyed.

It was excellent. There were lots of family involved and old friends and old faces, so that was a real highlight of the week for me, after the FA Cup. What was the theme of your address then, John? What did you deliver there? The theme of the talk was how I went,

to be honest, most of them know the story anyway, but the details of how I went from wrapping fleeces and mucking the buyers at the farm in Northumberland to doing what we all do. Were you well received? Well, yes, as I said to them, if I didn't get a sympathetic audience there, I might as well give up.

As you know, I very rarely do those sorts of things, but that was one that I was very keen to do, you know, for all of the reasons outlined. Here's a question for you on that, John. Do you find, so often when we're commentating and broadcasting, we can't see our audience, you know, because we're doing it on the radio and people are listening to us wherever they're listening to us do you find it more nerve-wracking because i've done a few of those things after dinner and you know hosting events and whatever when you can see the audience it's a slightly different thing isn't it yeah always but that's why i don't do it because i really don't like putting myself in that in that situation but but that was one of the other night where i thought well this won't be a this won't be a stressful this will be a nice thing to do

it won't be stressful and did you avoid the uh the pigeons at tamworth yeah tamworth was was great fun um great setting and and you know for it to be as competitive as it was and uh you know reflecting on it i thought you know that's what clearly it was a below par performance from Tottenham, you know, because of the golf, it was the biggest golf, wasn't it, between any of the clubs in terms of their league position at this year's third round. So Tottenham should be winning that comfortably with quite a strong team that they put out. But what I thought was, Tamworth gave them what Premier League teams very rarely get now, in that we see teams, don't we, being allowed to have possession.

So one team will be allowed to have possession, and the other team will be allowed to have possession. Tamworth just didn't let them do that, and that was incredibly uncomfortable for Tottenham. It really worked for them. It was a superb game plan from Andy Peaks, the manager. In terms of our five-life scheduling of FA Cup commentaries over the weekend, it was one of those weekends where it went really well, didn't it, Ian?

Because you were at the right game at three o'clock on Saturday. That was a brilliant listen there, particularly the closing stages of Brentford Plymouth. And then, obviously, Tamworth did the job in terms of the sort of for the neutrals and for the listeners that you needed them to do to make that cup tie really good on Sunday. So it all worked very well. Yeah, despite my gripe about the scheduling from last week, I still think the FA Cup was able to provide just a little glitter of magic, wasn't it? Even your game as well. You're going back to your old stomping ground at Ashton Gate. there was still a little bit of jeopardy the fact that Bristol City got a goal

back yeah so that was a brilliant free kick in just before half time and the game really needed that but I was actually quite impressed with with Wolves in that first half because they went pretty strong and particularly down the right hand side Rodrigo Gomes who's this young winger they signed in the summer one of the many Portuguese players they've got his link up with Gonçalo Guedes so they really Wolves went about that cup tie properly wanted to win it and got the win and it also just got me thinking about the rest of the Premier League season to come and you look at you know Wolves are down there Everton are down there and obviously the three promoted teams are down there. Just watching Wolves play and the goals they've got

in their team and Matthias Kunier didn't play in that game just made me think, I think they're going to be alright, Wolves, actually. More so than Everton, potentially, who are struggling for goals and the three promoted teams, obviously we're talking on Friday morning, all lost again didn't they in this recent round of games?

So Ipswich lost last night, Southampton lost last night, Leicester lost again. So it sort of got me thinking a little bit about that while I was doing FA Cup commentary as well. But lovely to be back at Ashton Gate and a very different Ashton Gate. It's funny, whenever I go back there, I don't know whether you, have you chaps commentated there? Yes, I have. Yes, I have. Where you can see the Clifton Suspension Bridge. Iaps commentated that yes i have yes where you can see the clifton suspension bridge i was thinking about when i was listening to you the other

yeah so that's what i love about it john in particular is it's a really impressive setup now there that is a great stadium but you're unmistakably if you didn't have any bristol city signage anywhere in the ground you know exactly where you are because of that because of the suspension bridge and because you're up high you've because of that because of the suspension bridge and because you're up high you've got a view over the stadium roofs and you can see bristol you can see you can see the landscape so i love that but it also took me back to when i used to work there in the late 90s where you used to commentate in this horrible little shed went in there behind glass sitting on narrow little benches and there's not many places now we commentate behind glass,

but I really don't like... I mean, I used to do that regularly for BBC Radio Bristol. You guys actually do it quite a lot, don't you, at Wembley? Yes, yeah, you're right. So the biggest stadium in the country that we commentate at is behind glass, which is... It's all right, isn't it, Ian? But it could be a lot better. But it's enclosed as

well i mean funny enough i was at the city ground in midweek and i saw the old commentary box that we used to be at which was again behind glass but at least the windows opened the warm pipes do you remember the warm pipes yeah yeah and you could put your feet on the warm pipes but now that the press box has changed there because the owner has put in like a just a very small executive box right next to where our old commentary booth used to be and as a result the press box the configuration of the press box has been altered as a result of that but i was actually thinking in midweek about when we used to do the old commentaries from the city ground but you're right ali at wembley it's enclosed windows don't open. Although there are benefits to that because it can get quite snug.

Have you all commentated at Southend in the box there, which I think is still there? That is funny. It's a very small box and all of the radio commentators are in there. It's not great. It's not great. I remember doing it again once there and everyone's commentating and i remember taking my headphones off just to have a listen to what it sounded like and it was like some sort of meat market with everyone everyone the noise was amazing i came

out with a with a crooked back at the end of the commentary there at roots hall yeah i don't think i've been in there but but that also reminds me of, I mean, I don't know what the view is like from there, but I think the worst view I've ever had at any game as a commentator was at Plymouth Home Park, where you used to be tucked behind a commentary box, so you weren't in the commentary box.

That commentary box was for other people. Our position was outside the box, but the box was directly on your right, so it immediately blocked your view of pretty much half of the pitch away to your to your right hand side i can't think of a more restricted view i've ever i've not been back to home park to commentate for quite a while so i don't know if that's still the case swindon's behind glass as well isn't it i think yeah right and saying and in fact i'm lying and that just shows you do all these games and then you forget something.

I have been to Plymouth and it's the other side. You're now the other side. You've got a great view now. I did a League Cup tie there. Yeah, it is good there. We'll get on to the great glossary of football commentary later. But Peter sent us this email. How about coupon buster for the glossary?

My £1 FA Cup accumulator was coupon busted by Tamworth. As a National League fan of the mighty York City, I was delighted. 0-0 at 90 minutes. The magic of the FA Cup. Well, Pete, there's always one that will let you down. I think definitely, and I think I've heard you, Ian,

say coupon buster this season. I think you said coupon buster when Nottingham Forest won at Anfield. Yes, I do use coupon buster because, yeah, I think I know a number of people who do their accumulators and like Pete,

I think we can add that one later on. Also, an answer from the EuroLeague's pod. We asked them, of course, last week, aside from the FA Cup, which is the greatest domestic cup competition in Europe? And Julien Laurent calcifies, he said, the French

Cup. But he has good rationale to be fair, because this week, the fifth tier... Oh, Ali, how are you in your French? Is that Bourgoin... Yeah, I saw this in the script, and I wondered whether you might have had a look at this before we started. Yeah, I think that's not bad. Bourgoin-Jallieu, I think, maybe.

Yeah. Tiny Bourgoin-Jallieu from the 5th Division. They knocked out Lyon on penalties. Interestingly, there was no extra time. They go straight to penalties which Jules says is far more fun. Monaco and Marseille also lost in the round of 32. So, there are actually only

7 top-flight teams in the last 16. Yeah, are actually only seven top flight teams in the last 16. Yes so if you went straight to penalties Tamworth would have had a penalty shootout against Tottenham wouldn't they? Well last weekend. Had it gone to a replay? Had it gone to a replay but there again as the point was very well made in the previous round when Tamworth played Burton and that went to a penalty shootout had that gone back to Burton for a replay

they might not necessarily have got through to play Tottenham that is a very good point Coupe de France is renowned for that

isn't it recent stories of teams from lower leagues going a long way in the cup I remember there was a third division team

made the final and played Paris Saint-Germain that's probably in the last 10 years that happens a fair bit. I always enjoy it when people talk about the coup de France because it makes me think of an ice cream, don't you?

Because you get a lot of coup de this and coup de that, don't you? Yeah, definitely, yeah. Trebio, trebio. Well, thank you so much for all the positive feedback on the pod. This is what it's all about. Paul writes in, really enjoying the new show. As an expat in Rome, it helps me to keep up with the football back home and the background stories are really interesting and jack tcv is the gift that keeps on giving my friend joe and i used to grow up

imitating spectacular commentary moments from the likes of yourselves and now i feel like my dream has come true with a podcast dedicated to the anecdotes and geeky behind-the-scenes moments of a commentator's life. And in fact, we might actually get round to a question from Jack later on. We used to do that, Ian. I remember me and my friends...

What, listen to a podcast? Me and my friends. Me and my friends used to imitate Petereter jones in the in the playground at school when we would play football yeah even now whenever i say just over the bar it always makes me think of doing that in the playground well funny enough ahead of the game the city ground in midweek they were showing all the the great games between nottingham forest and liverpool in the late 70s. You know, when they met in the European Cup and when they were battling for the title between the two of them in 78 and then 79.

And I actually had a flashback to Peter Jones then. Because I was thinking, when those games were on, I mean, you would listen to Radio 2. You know, have the radio near the pillow, fall asleep listening to the great Peter Jones on Radio 2 there. Yeah. And that was excellent. That was excellent. I was actually with you the other night, Ian.

I thought, you know how very often we'll say to people that you can now go back and listen to commentaries again if you've been to the match. If you go to BBC Sounds, so look for Five Live on there, then Stations and Schedules, and you've been to the match if you go to bbc sounds so look for five live on there then stations and schedules and you can go into the schedule and go back to the specific time but that is a match i think if you're a young nottingham forest fan or whatever if you went to that match and and enjoyed it i think that's one definitely you and clinton morrison were in in really good form and that's a that's a i And I would really urge people to go back and have a listen to that.

Well, that's very kind. Thank you. If they did, I would urge them just to go back to listen to the start of the atmosphere. Because I think, as I said in commentary, there are a few grounds where you can just let the anthem play out. And it just sends a little shiver down the spine. And the city ground is uh is certainly one of those those venues for that look at this we've had emails from all around the world this week italy israel slovakia sweden canada the united states new zealand thailand greece cyprus all in the last seven days.

We're going international. In fact, here's Pat Nevin with Ali in commentary for the North London Derby. I've got an idea for you. I'll give you a letter. Oh, I like that. The commentators, you all have travelled around the world, around Europe, etc. Just say a city name and you'll have to tell a story about your time in that city. Good, Pat. And you will remember stories that you've forgotten for most of your life yeah that's a really good idea i'll note that down so are there any stories from any of those countries in particular the reason pat mentioned that in

commentary the other night was because we were talking before the game and he's been listening to the pod a bit and he was saying that a lot of the stories we were telling were reminding him suddenly things were coming back into his head from something that had happened 20 years ago that he'd not thought about for a decade or so, which is why he came up with that idea. And funnily enough, have you ever commentated in Haifa? Because I have actually done a game in Haifa.

No, I've done a game in Tel Aviv where Kluivert lost an earring on the pitch. I think it was his stud diamond earring. And so after the game, you could see Kluivert walking up and down, looking for something. Anyway, he'd lost his stud earring. Not too sure if he found it, actually.

Might be a hidden jeb somewhere on the Tel Aviv stadium. Once they'd gone, you could have gone out there and found it, possibly, and either given it back to them or sold it for an awful lot of money. Yeah, that's what I should have done. But I'm still here doing this podcast. I went to Haifa with John Hartson to commentate on Wales beating Israel by three goals to one when they were on their way towards Euro 2016. And that was a great win for them.

Bale scored twice and it was a great trip. So those are memories of Haifa. I'm going to mention Cyprus. And I see, Ian, that we have actually got a message from Cyprus. Have you got that? Yes, we have. Do you want to read that one out? Yeah, this is from Stuart, who is formerly of Northampton, who is now living in Cyprus. Have you got that? Yes, we have. Do you want to read that one out? Yeah, this is from Stuart,

who is formerly of Northampton, who is now living in Cyprus. And he says, My 11-year-old son Frankie has shown a lot of interest in becoming a football commentator, so your new podcast has impeccable timing. We love it.

Well, thank you. Especially on the way to his match each Saturday morning, please give a shout-out to our new local club aris limasol who beat their title rivals pathos one nil in their quest to reach the champions league proper he says happy to meet you on your next trip to cyprus well that's the one that jumped out to me when we ran through those questions because i remember going this was a long

time ago now and it was it was a republic of ireland under mick mccarthy and we went to cover a republic of ireland against cyprus match and uh yet again my bags didn't turn up and also alistair yeomans who is our producer neither of our bags turned up and we were staying down in one corner of Cyprus and the match was up in the other corner so we had a we actually had a minibus and we're driving between one and the other anyway I think it was at the start of the season so it was actually very hot and bags haven't turned up so clothes haven't turned up so it's hot so we were told by the airline they might turn up the next day on the day of the match so we left it we left it um and the place we were staying was it was a kind of resort type hotel down on

the on the coast so we weren't in the town center we weren't near any shops the only shop that was there was the the hotel shop which did sell clothes and we left it so late. We thought, we've got no alternative here. We are going to have to go to this shop and buy clothes. We're going to have to buy shirt, underwear in this shop. And the choice was honestly, I mean, I've never, ever worn clothes like that. So I thought, well, I'm going to have to buy these things. And same for Alistair as well. And the two of us put on these clothes.

Honestly, we looked like we'd walked out of a Miami nightclub in approximately 1982. And not only that, the only underpants they had, they only had them in certain sizes. And I thought, I'm not sure they're big enough. But I had to buy them. I bought these underpants. As soon as I got into the minibus, I think I was driving, I thought, this is not very comfortable. And we drove.

I drove, drove, oh dear me, I'm shifting around in these underpants. And the whole night at the match, we covered this match, it was so uncomfortable, it was was hot and these tight underpants. And anyway, once we got back to, I think, where we were staying after the match, so late in the evening, you know, sweaty late evening in Cyprus,

got back to the hotel and the bags were there and I thought, excellent. So off come these underpants and what a relief it was to put on my own. And they were straight into the bin. Look at Ali's face when you're telling that story. I mean, I've never heard that story.

That is a brilliant story. So it didn't get told on air. I can't remember. I think probably mentioned it. It's a TCV exclusive. The image I've got in my mind, and i'm not going the underpants route i'm going more the sort of uh 1980s miami's nightclub route is uh samuel l jackson and john travolta in pulp fiction do you remember where they end up in yes i do i do because the black suits have to come

off and they put that stuff on and harvey kytale says they look like a couple of dorks and that's that's that's that's what I'm picturing you can just imagine when me when Alistair walked out this hotel door I walked up there looked at each other and thought what do we look like yeah it actually ties in nicely from a question we've had from the EuroLeague's podcast have you ever done a commentary when you've been working with a co-commentator who's been distracted not necessarily distracted by his underpants or his wife runs but possibly by another person and what did you do about it and that comes from a story that guillem balaguet told about a co-commentator taking a girlfriend with him to a match and not concentrating on the football well i remember being over in seville manchester united playing in the europa league over there

and as with a lot of the the commentary positions we sit in we're quite close to the fans and in i think it was seville was it seville or bettis i think it was seville because i think manchester united lost but anyway there was there was a very noisy, severe fan. I mean, there was a load of noisy, severe fans around us, but one in particular who stood out, who was standing up, and he was leading the chanting, whatever. And he got wind of the fact that we were commentating in English. So we weren't connected to Manchester United,

but obviously we were there representing um you know the BBC and the English team or whatever so he and I started to have a bit of to and fro which I thought was quite good natured and and sort of good fun and I think Manchester United came quite close to scoring so in commentary you know I described that he could hear me describing it looked at me and you know made a couple of hand gestures and I made a couple of hand gestures back as if to say well that was close this is a good game and then actually it took a bit of a turn for the worse because severe i think he had a bit more to drink as the game went on severe then got themselves ahead and were comfortably beating manchester united and he was getting quite aggressive to the point that i thought actually he might come over in it he might he

might try and because he could he could get to us in our commentary position so from that point on I distinctly just deliberately avoided eye contact with him for the rest of the game but I could see him trying to catch my eye and trying to get involved in making all sorts of hand gestures and Juliet Farrington who worked with us at the time unfortunately then had to sort of deal with him for the rest of the game. So I felt a bit guilty that I'd basically started. It was having a bit of fun. I thought, no, I've had enough of that. I'll move on.

And then poor old Juliet got left with this fella who was desperately trying to get on air. So that was distracting, I would say. The Football Daily Podcast. On BBC Sounds. BBC Radio 5 Live. Weekdays from 9, Nicky Campbell takes your calls on the day's

biggest news. What exactly is or else? That's a very good question. Being against AI I think is just being against the inevitable. Is this company's responsibility or is it parental responsibility? That's what AI is. At this state it's a tool. He wants to bring care into the community.

You can't do that without people. Nicky Campbell, weekdays from 9. Ask your smart speaker. Play BBC Radio 5 Live. The Commentator's View with Alistair Bruce Ball, John Murray and Ian Dennis. By the way, I know you mentioned that you'd studied drama last week.

Very quickly, Ali. We've had an email from Rachel in Essex, who's a teacher. Just a quick note to say, whilst marking my GCSE and A-level mock papers to the backdrop of TCV, I was beyond delighted to hear that ABB had in fact studied drama

at uni. For a subject that is struggling to survive in the modern education system, this led me to immediately update my reasons to study drama board and add commentator for BBC Five Live. Love the pod, as do my children, Isaac, Seth, who are 13 and 10, and husband, Craig, and that's Rachel, who's head of drama. So you go to the top of her class. However, top of Clash of the Commentators, John. I'm in danger of losing three in a row here,

which concerns me. It would be, I think. Is that a The Commentator's View record in the entire history of The Commentators view in the commentators view era is that a record yeah although saying that ian didn't start well in this competition there was a few early defeats for ian so it might be equaling a record i can't remember when ian got his first win but anyway i think it was last time out back-to-back wins could equal the record. Is that right? Last week, I beat Ali on non-league clubs,

making it to the fifth round of the FA Cup. You got five, Ali. I got six. I was quite pleased with five. Yes, I thought you... Although there were a couple you got that I've been kicking myself

about Maidstone all week, but anyway, came through. So, the leaderboard uh i've got three points from four attempts ali has two from four ian is bottom of the table with one from four only to rub it in well it's just i'm just making it clear to the listener so this is how it works we have a 30 second stop clock you have to give as many correct answers as you can within that 30 seconds so who wants to go first yeah i'll go first yeah okay i want to remember that you've not done very well going second have you ian so maybe maybe go first when

you've got a record from one from four you yeah? You haven't done very well altogether. No, you haven't. Right, well, I think Ali is now disconnected. He cannot hear. He's in the equivalent of the soundproof booth. So, Ian, ready? Yeah. Yeah, good. You just didn't look at, that's all. I can see you on the screen here.

You didn't look ready, but you are ready. So, the category this week, David moyes is back at everton and i want you to name as many everton managers since the premier league began as you can and that it will include caretakers interim managers all of them there are 19 possible answers and your time starts now oh right uh howard kendall colin harvey mike walker obviously david moyes marco silver carlo ancelotti frank lampard um frank lampard come on come on come on i'm having a blank i'm having a blank um i'm having a blank. I'm having a blank. I'm having a blank.

I'm having a nightmare. Absolutely. Were you suggesting Laurent Blanc there? Or was that just you going blank? I just had a brain freeze moment. All right. Yeah, because Laurent Blanc, it wasn't an Everton manager. No, I realise that.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's get Ali back. That was terrible. And he... That was absolutely shocking. I'm not sure. I think you might be... I think you've got a few there. So, Ali is back with us.

And I noticed as well, to avoid the accusations that I had last week of lip reading, you actually turned your back on it. Well, that's how it should be done. Yeah, I did. He did it properly. I did. well, to avoid the accusations that I had last week of lip-reading, you actually turned your back on it. Well, that's how it should be done. Yeah, I did. He did it properly.

I did. Okay, Ali. Integrity, John. He's done... He's not very happy with his performance, but I think he's done all right. All right. Okay. So, if you are ready, this is the question.

David Moyes is back at Everton now, and I want you to name as many Everton managers as you can, but this is from Premier League onwards, so 92 onwards. Oh, right. And this is including caretakers, interim managers, the lot. There are 19 answers since 1992, and your time starts now. Walter Smith, Marco Silva, Sam Allardyce, Frank Lampard, Sean Dyche, David Unsworth did a caretaker role there.

Who else has managed Everton? Well, Howard Kendall would have done it, I think, even in the Premier League era. Joe Royal, Everton manager. Who else? Who else? Who else? In recent times, why can't I think? Oh, Carlo Ancelotti, of course, did well at Everton. Duncan Ferguson is a care Everton manager. Who else? Who else? Who else in recent times? Why can't I think? Oh, Carlo Ancelotti, of course. Well, Everton, Duncan Ferguson is a caretaker manager. Come on, come on, come on.

I'm not going to get another. I think Ali's beaten. Ali has tipped. They're getting so many in there, though. I didn't even say Sean Dyche. I had an absolute brain freeze. Yeah. You had what will now be known as a Laurent Blanc.

We call it a Laurent. These games, Ian, and I love these games and have played them for a long time. I mean, Sutton Death in particular that we play on the Fantasy 606 podcast. But there's times you get in them like that exactly and your brain completely freezes. And it's horrible i much rather be the quiz master than that on the other end of it and then afterwards i mean there's how much there's so many everton managers in there so after david moore's left who who we who we miss in there well i can really i'm going to run you through them all oh martinez roberto martinez

i'm going to run you through them all so from from 92, so Howard Kendall was already in charge then over the course of that time into the sort of start of the Premier League time. Then Jimmy Gabriel had a spell. Neither of you got him. Mike Walker, Joe Royal, Dave Watson, Howard Kendall again, Walter Smith, David Moyes, Roberto Martinez, David Unsworth,

Joe Royal, Ronald Koeman, David Unsworth, Sam Allardyce, Marco Silva. You got himyce, Marco Silva. You got him, Ali? Marco Silva. Yeah. Duncan Ferguson. Did you?

Yeah. Duncan Ferguson, Carlo Ancelotti, Rafael Benitez, Duncan Ferguson, Frank Lampard, Sean Dyche, Seamus Coleman, Leighton Baines, and David Morris. I was there the other night. They were there. Well, that's it. You've still beaten me.

That's the game. We don't need to know the scores because that was terrible. So the result is, Ian, you named seven answers. Six were correct. Colin Harvey was pre-92. And Ali, you got 10 so Ali wins it 10 out of 19

that's pretty good and that's now Ali 3 from 5 so I presume that means I'm still top of the table with 3 from 4 I think with me just keep it away from world geography bottom of the table just to clarify Ali you mentioning Sutton Death, Cam is a Liverpool supporter from Nuneaton I think with me, just keep it away from world geography. He's still bottom of the table, just to clarify that.

Ali, you mentioning Sutton death. Cam is a Liverpool supporter from Nuneaton. He says, great format and show you've developed. Does Chris Sutton know about it? And is he jealous of UABB? He is aware of it. I'm not sure he's listened to it. But he is amused when i when i give it a plug because he

feels i'm sort of i'm cheating a little on the fantasy 606 podcast exactly that john yeah that's that's the stick i get on on fantasy 606 chris would be a good guest on this i think one week as a summarizer's voice yeah by the way when we read out the the email from Stuart in Cyprus, I forgot to read out Russell who'd sent us an email and it's remaining with the international feel. I work with dogs running a luxury boarding and training facility out here in Phuket in Thailand. Therefore, I thought I'd ask you for any work-related dog incidents you may have come across. Should you ever wish to organise a TCV road trip and record a live podcast from the beaches of Phuket, do let me know. More than happy to assist.

All the best, Russell, from the Canine Point Academy. Now we could be going on a world tour. We might be getting ahead of ourselves there. Well's always one to uh to bear in mind live from thailand he worked a nice ring to it hasn't russell works with jack russell's do you do you have any uh dogs on the pitch stories or anybody has a as a dog as a pet ever interfered with any preparation we had a beagle ian uh a mischievous beagle called betsy who's not been around for a few years now just in terms of interfering with prep i do remember uh i'd recently take she was a young puppy and was into everything chewing everything scratching everything and i went away for a night and i'd just taken delivery recently of a BBC laptop

and Lucy, my wife, and I were sort of sharing it. So I went away, didn't need it, and she was writing some article on it. And I said, just be careful with that, really careful with that, particularly with Betsy. I don't want Betsy getting anywhere near that. And Lucy was thinking, what on earth is he talking about? What's Betsy going to do to a laptop? Anyway, Lucy's working away, goes off into the kitchen to go make a cup of tea Betsy as a young puppy climbs onto the kitchen table and then with her claws

her sharp puppy claws gets on the keyboard and just scratches pretty much every letter like so they all come unclipped so Lucy comes back comes back into our living room and basically this laptop all the keys the letter keys are all over the top of the kitchen table with betsy just looking at her and wagging her tail and looking like butter wouldn't melt and then lucy i remember she said she she took a while to pluck up the courage to phone me and tell me that this bbc computer had been taken to the cleaners but we managed to find someone very very good who put it all back together and no one was any the wiser i think i think it's the first the bbc will have heard of

it on this pod so that was the classic you know that laptop you told me not to let the puppy go near exactly exactly that john yeah yeah incidentally ali russell also recommends the book the history of heavy metal just for you with your newfound passion for slipknot yeah and the and the heavy metal genre yeah you and ewan's uh he says green day is who he wants to go and see next i think that's a bit more up my street than than slipknot actually but thank you russell i'll look that out and in fact maybe not for me but for but for you and you and you might really enjoy that so so appreciate that thank you russell oh i've just been told in my headphones we've got some

breaking news erling harland has signed a 10-year contract at manchester city that takes him through to 2034 interesting yeah well that is no one saw that one coming did they and there's long been talk of him being a target for Real Madrid that they were desperate to get Erling Haaland to go to Real Madrid but that's very much in keeping isn't it with now current players contracts isn't it these long long contracts and whether it necessarily means that he stays at Manchester City for 10 years is another matter yeah I was going to say does that affect at all how long we actually think he's going to stay at the club or yeah you're right John is that a move that the clubs make with an asset like Harlan so that when the time comes if the time comes they're in position to say you know but also need to be

remunerated also there was quite a feeling wasn there, that once Pep Guardiola would move on, then possibly Erling Haaland would as well. So that gets in there ahead of that. And also, with the charges coming up and the outcome of that presumably not being far away, that's quite a commitment from Erling Haaland, isn't it? To effectively say whatever happens, I am part of the... This is my commitment. I would sense that would be another talking point, though, ahead of your game on Sunday at Portman Road, John. Very much so. First visit, John, this season, Portman Road.

First visit to Portman Road. Very much looking forward to that. Yes, I was listening to Chris Coles and Mark Schwarzer. The match, which obviously turned out to be a bit of a disappointment for Ipswich at Portman Road on Thursday night. So yes, I'm really looking forward because not only is it my first visit

of the season, it's my first visit for years and years. So really, really looking forward to that. I can just quickly tell you what our five live Premier League commentaries are this weekend. Brentford, Liverpool. I'll be joined by Chris Sutton.

That's the three o'clock on Saturday, the usual goal service. John and Pat Nevin will be at Arsenal and Aston Villa, 5.30 on Saturday. And then, Ali, you're with Dion Dublin for the two o'clock game on Sunday. Manchester United against Brighton and Hove Albion.

I'd sort of given up on the Manchester United Southampton game, so I was thinking, crikey, going to be going there off the back of them losing 1-il at home to Southampton and then obviously you go back and see what's happened and late goals always reminds me of being at Arsenal when Arsenal scored a very late goal I think what was it one late goal or two late completely flipped a game on its head which is radio commentators we're obviously able to deal with quite quickly because we tell the story as it happens but for the newspaper journalists it's an absolute nightmare isn't it because you've got to rewrite the whole thing or you've certainly got to write five or six paragraphs at the top of your

piece and flip the whole thing around and when Arsenal scored their second goal there was a load of fans who know where all the press sit and the fans just turned around to the journalists and they were going rewrite rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. It really tickled me. Very funny. Everton Tottenham will be on Sports Extra from Sunday at two and then Ipswich Manchester City, as we know, John, going to Portman Road

alongside Mark Schwarzer for the 4.30 kick-off. West Ham are at home to Crystal Palace this weekend, which brings me on to this from Jack in Romsey, down in Hampshire. It's been fascinating to hear your experiences commentating in football stadia, but what is it like commentating in stadia not designed for football, but for

another sport? For example, Croke Park in Dublin, Twickenham in London, Centre Court at Wimbledon. What's a typical day like? Are the commentators' positions more comfortable does the atmosphere feel any different well you've commented at twickenham alley and center court actually which is the really unusual one that because the level that you're at where you

commentate there you're about the height of the player's knees you're incredibly low at center court but also i find at center court you're in a position where you really do feel you're on hallowed turf. It is, you know, just because having grown up and watched Wimbledon finals, and in my era, that was obviously Borg, McEnroe and, you know, Chris Everett and Martina Navarrete all over. But you've got those shots occasionally of inside that little sort of bunker hidden behind that glass. But you could see where the commentators were. And you're down at one end, so when one player's serving, you're watching balls come fizzing towards you at hundreds of miles an hour,

whereas actually commentary positions in the other courts are, I would say, are slightly better designed because they've been put in more recently to give you a better view of the action. But there's something quite special actually about about center court there was also the time down there where i was about to go on air with marion bartley and there were sort of production staff and editors and runners and commentators and whatever and she slightly got the wrong end of the stick and didn't realize that we were about to commentate together so about a minute before we went on she decided that she needed some sushi uh and and asked whether i would go and get her some sushi i think she thought i was there for for that job and i had

to say no i can't go and do that because we're actually about to start we're about to start commentating together how did she cope who went and got the sushi how did she cope without the sushi yeah i could have done with some sushi but I didn't realise you could send people for sushi. But anyway, we managed. Now on to the great glossary of football commentary as we build a collection of football terms related to football commentary. Will this week's listeners' contributions make the cut? And of course, we've actually got the coupon buster earlier on from Pete. So we're happy with that going in? Yes, so pete that one's in second suggestion mark in his mid-40s from

shrewsbury stroke shrewsbury i know it used to be an actual thing although it had long since gone before i was at school but it's a term that only seems to live on through football a slide rule pass i don't really know what it even is and how it equates to a pass in football yet it is regularly used well yes that is a nailed on definite entry to the glossary and as soon as you say slide real pass you can see what is meant i would say it's almost always a pass through the inside left or the inside right position along the ground and only a certain length very quickly are you shrewsbury or shrewsbury well i'm shrewsbury because our good friend kevin howells who is an authority on this matter, has, and I think Kevin is from Shrewsbury, isn't he?

He is, yes. And I think Kevin's told me that the easiest thing is, what is the nickname of the football club? It is the Shrews, therefore the name of the place is Shrewsbury. But I did an FA Cup tie there a few years ago, and they said it depends on what side of the river you're from. But I used to say Shrewsbury, now I say Shrewsbury but i did an fa cup tie there a few years ago and they said it depends on what side of the river you're from but i used to say shrewsbury now i say shrewsbury story for another

time i'm shrewsbury um john and i the only time we've ever batted together in cricket was in shrewsbury but i'm going to save that tale oh yes please do one of my favorite stories of all time well i look forward to that. But I bet you just don't give too much away. But was he more sort of like Chris Tavare? I can't imagine he'd be very expansive. We're not giving anything away. That's going to appear in

all its glory at some stage. Well, okay. Wait there, Ian. Wait there. Yes, I can imagine. Yeah. Geoffrey Boycott. App know, a plodder. Now, if that was a suggestion from Mark, we've got an amendment. Derby fan Phil in Greece has suggested this amendment

to one of our editions from last Friday's episode. He has taken aim at Terry and Bromley's educated left foot. He says, Can I add to the many Phil's who have contributed via email to say thank you for a great podcast and add that left foots are more frequently referred to as cultured rather than educated. Best wishes from Athens.

Yes, I think Phil is right there. And we should have said that last week, shouldn't we? Yes, I agree. It's cultured. I would say cultured. Cultured and educated. Yeah, and week, shouldn't we? Yes, I agree. It's cultured. I would say cultured in commentary more than... Cultured and educated. Yeah, and well, and actually on Wednesday night, North London Derby, with his cultured left foot, Martin Erdegaard was playing plenty of slide rule passes.

So I could have said both of those a number of times. The funny thing about doing this, I find, is that now I find myself saying them in commentary because they're in my mind. Can I chuck two in very quickly? John Cross and Andy Dunne of the Mirror I was chatting to at the Emirates Stadium on Wednesday, both of them enjoying the pod and enjoying the glossary in particular. John has a good friend, fellow journalist, I think, who doesn't like, but it is you. So does it go in the glossary whether you like it or not? foot race players having a foot race you know what that's one that i i'm with him

on that because it's a race it's not it's a foot race that is an unnecessary word foot race of course it's a foot race they're on their feet john said john said what else is it going to be an egg and spoon race exactly it's just a race so we race for the ball it's not a foot race i think i might have used a foot race every now and again i might just chuck that one in just to do it no john's absolutely right with that one i'm very i'm on board with that but yes it goes in the glossary yeah yeah it belongs because people use it yeah we use it um andy duns was fellow countryman that the the fellow is superfluous there because a countryman is obviously a fellow countryman but we always say your fellow country guilty guilty of that yeah i'm guilty of that yeah yeah so but does it go in i suppose it goes yes yeah fellow countryman that is Which has led me on to another one that we all say as well,

and that you'd never use anywhere else, is opposite number. So the captain of Arsenal and his opposite number. Yeah, we do. So that's my contribution for this week. Well, Phil, incidentally, also, not only did he talk about that for the glossary, because we'd obviously asked about the collective noun for commentators um and he he also said on the subject of that um specifically for those working in radio surely the correct term is a herd of radio commentators but not the herd that you would have been speaking about at your your dinner in northumberland john it's h-e-a-r-d the sheep i

was talking about it's a flock not a herd yeah I was just trying to be don't need to kill that one dead straight away I think that's a good choice I quite like that herd herd good yeah like it Chris in Buckinghamshire a narration of commentators

or an echo of commentators and Will in Cornwall a chuckle of commentators or an echo of commentators, and Will in Cornwall, a chuckle of commentators, or a whisper of commentators, but that might be more for golf and snooker. Like whispering Ted. Oh, no. Whispering Ted Lowe.

No. Anyway, you can send your suggestions to tcv at bbc dot co dot uk. tcv at bbc tcv.co.uk tcv.co.uk Shall we throw another question to the Euroleagues for next week? Yes. A little bit like Australian Open tennis. It's back

and forth this at the moment, isn't it? Let's take this from Kelvin, the trucker in Canada. I love my BBC podcasts while I'm driving my truck along 500 mile stretches of boring US interstates. What I really like is the world football phone-in with Dotton and Tim. One of my favourite terms which

Tim refers to in Brazilian football is when a goal is scored in the top corner. It's referred to as up where the owl sleeps. So why don't you ask the euro leagues team for their favorite phrase which is only used in their countries and nowhere else great question yeah like that very much tom williams chap i've met on the circuit really nice guy has written a fantastic book called do you speak football and ahead of every major tournament wherever we go so that's got exactly those sort of things in commentary phrases that are used in countries all around the world for different things. You know, you get your own glossary for every single country

and it's really good that. I think if we ask that question, I think the best answer, I think it's more likely to come from Southern Europe. Well, you can tune in next week to get the answer to that. Two episodes of the Football Daily coming your way on Saturday. In focus with Gary Lineker and Thomas Frank and how to win the

Champions League Real Madrid. So look out for those. And then we'll be back next week with another episode of The Commentator's View. Now on to the great glossary of football commentary as we build a collection of football teams. Don't worry, that'll get edited out.

No, it won't. I tell you what, it won't. It'll appear at the end of the pod. That's what'll happen. By the way, on that basis, that was very, very good last week. The fire alarm. Yeah, it was bizarre timing, wasn't it? I mean, I shouldn't have been hanging around in there.

That's how we should have started this week. we should have picked up to find out what happened well yeah listen that that's not my fault i'm only reading the script who did the script so what happened yeah i just i mean walked out the building the building was being evacuated i don't know john what what had gone on inside the building but a lot of radio merseyside staff were standing around looking very cold and a bit disgruntled and I just wandered back to my car and drove off to Bristol

that's not very compassionate of you major crisis going on at BBC Merseyside you just walked away Hello Gary Lineker here join myself

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