Football Daily - The Commentators’ View: Ian gets wet & Ali goes deep

Episode Date: December 6, 2024

John Murray, Ian Dennis and Alistair Bruce-Ball reveal the stories behind the 5 Live commentaries. From commentating in the pouring rain with colleagues in their underwear, to a big medical drama, they tell the tales you don’t normally get to hear. And the ‘Wheel of Spiel’ makes a return!01:35 John gets a surprise 03:30 Ian has an apology to make 04:20 Commentating in the rain 09:20 Ian nearly ends his career 14:30 ‘Wheel of Spiel’ goes deep 19:00 Favourite commentary positions 22:55 Tottenham-Chelsea preview 27:10 John’s big medical drama 29:45 Ali’s new toys! 31:20 The Great Dictionary of Football CommentaryBBC Sounds / 5 Live Premier League commentaries this weekend: Sat 7 Dec, 15:00 – Crystal Palace v Man City - 5 Live Sat 7 Dec, 17:30 – Man Utd v Nottingham Forest - 5 Live Sun 8 Dec, 14:00 – Fulham v Arsenal - 5 Live Sun 8 Dec, 14:00 – Leicester v Brighton – 5 Sports Extra Sun 8 Dec, 14:00 – Ipswich v Bournemouth – BBC Sport website Sun 8 Dec, 16:30 – Tottenham v Chelsea - 5 Live

BBC Sounds, music, radio, podcasts. The Commentator's View with Alistair Bruce Ball, John Murray and Ian Dennis on the Football Daily. Hello, I'm John Murray and welcome to The Commentator's View. This is number three as we try and give you a look at what life as a five-life football commentator is like and tell you some of the stories that you don't always get to hear and have some, in inverted commas, fun and games along the way. I am joined, of course, by Alistair Bruce Ball and Ian Dennis. We're all in remote locations.

We've had a little bit of a do, haven't we, to get it all working. I'm in the very epicentre of the BBC at Broadcasting House yet I've had more problems than anyone else. Well, looking at your camera, John, we've seen you sort of looking slightly puzzled and pushing buttons and twisting knobs and then two engineers have come in to try and sort it out. Three engineers?

Three engineers. And then after about 15 minutes, we're ready to go thanks to your abilities to get on your phone and your iPad and everything else at the same time. We're just about to go and denno gets a knock on the door yeah and denno disappears who's another couple of minutes never you mind who's at the door there's a recurring thing though about these last three weeks that you've been late or you've been holding for three successive weeks i've been in here for three hours waiting for you two to get in place and had it not been for me who actually noticed that all the lights were off in the studio,

therefore no one had switched it on, then, you know, I still wouldn't be here now. Anyway, less of that. Just before we get started, John. Yes. Can I just interject? And I just hit you in particular with a little surprise. Our production team have put a little something together

for the start of this week's episode. Just have a little listen to this. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday. How nice. How nice that is. One of my least favourite songs of all time.

Really? I love Stevie Wonder. I hate that song. i think it's awful feel free to express happy birthday to the production yeah thanks for playing that one of my least favorite songs that i would put with lady in red by chris de burr which i also absolutely hate any others well just on, just on Stevie Wonder, John, I was in the car the other day, listen, and I, like you, I'm a massive fan of Stevie Wonder

and most of his stuff, but the bit that really annoys me about one of his songs is I Just Called to Say I Love You. Yeah, that's terrible as well. You know, that's... That is awful. And the end, the end to that song is like a little kid playing with his synthesiser,

where it comes to the end and then it goes like that it's ridiculous what are you doing Stevie? some of the best and some of the worst I don't think Christopher will be calling John to say I just called to say I love you after his comments about Lady and Ray well listen it'll be a lot of people who are listening

they'll feel because that is the nature of music it's rather like football commentary, isn't it? One person's favourite commentator is the next person's least favourite commentator and there'll be people who listen who'll be saying, what are you talking about? Lady in Red is my favourite track. Let's not

get people to email in to tcv at bbc.co.uk which I think the email address is now working. We've had some problems with that as well this week with their least favourite commentators, John. I don't think that email address is now working we've had some problems with that as well this week with their least favorite commentators john i don't think that would be a good way to go on on this pod well they can do it we won't be reading it out can i just say as well this wasn't via email but i was pulled up on social media i think whether it was from the podcast or at my appearance last saturday morning on the the patrick kielty show on five

live that i'd said about how problematic it was getting to Selhurst Park. And the Evely Brothers, not the Everly Brothers, the Evely Brothers. All their songs are great. And also Gareth, who's a Palace fan, all pulled me up and said,

that is not the case. There are three railway stations near Selhurst Park. It couldn't be easier. I would concur with that. That's the way to go to Selhurst Park on the couldn't be easier. I would concur with that. That's the way to go to Selhurst Park on the train. But you travel on the train, I don't travel on the train. So I said I would apologise on the pod if I caused offence to anybody

who finds Selhurst Park problematic, although it did take me ages to get home last weekend. And I stand by my original comment. I think you got wet, didn't you, at St James' Park, if I heard rightly, when I was at Arsenal commentating the other night, safely tucked away under the overhang. Gary Flintoff, who was reporting on that match,

sitting alongside you, told us that it was raining quite heavily at one stage. So did you get wet? Yes. Well, for the listener who doesn't know, we're about probably eight rows back from just behind the dugouts at St. James's Park. And you are therefore open to the elements.

And so when it does rain, you do get wet. And so much so that I've now got a protective sheet that I put my commentary notes inside. Because during the pandemic, February 21, St. James's Park. And if you remember, we had to be in situ then for about 1.30, didn't we? We couldn't get access to the ground. There was obviously no crowds at the time. So we had to be inside the ground for 1.30. It was a three o'clock kickoff and it hosed it down at Newcastle this particular day. And you might as well have just, we might as well have walked into a shower because before the game has started the notes had just disintegrated

we were soaking wet through it was a miserable experience we were doing the commentary under umbrellas hoods up all the way through all our clothes drenched and so actually I had a flashback during the the Liverpool game it wasn't as bad as that particular occasion and I'm glad you mentioned Gary because I wouldn't want to upset the producers at all. But Gary did enlighten me that he actually travelled home in his boxer shorts. Wow. That particular day, he was that wet. Yeah, well, that is history repeating itself, isn't it? Because do you remember the famous game at St James' Park

when Ruud Gullit was sacked when they lost to Sunderland? That's right. That was played in a torrential downpour. Alan Shearer was benched. Yeah, that's right. Alan Shearer was benched. Yeah, that's right. Shearer on the bench and our much-missed colleague David Oates

and Mike Ingham were commentating on that match. David had to go and buy a new suit the next morning because he was going to interview Brian Robson

at Middlesbrough and Mike, I hope I'm not giving anything away that I shouldn't, Mike that day drove home in his underpants. Well, I can actually go one better than both of those stories because last season...

Well, no, not one better in that sense. So we were over in Istanbul last season doing Galatasaray against Manchester United in the Champions League group stages. And it's the wettest I've ever personally been commentating on a game. And the reason we got so wet was from midday, it was, in Istanbul, monsoon-like rain. I mean, the streets were just awash with water.

And you actually didn't think the game was going to go ahead. But the game did go ahead. Somehow, miraculously, the pitch survived. But you know what it's like out in Istanbul. You know, we're getting a taxi to the ground. Taxi driver's got his music absolutely blaring seven lanes of traffic people cutting in all over the place and he could only get us there wasn't any lady in red or i just called to say i love you and he could only get us so close to the ground so dropped us off about

half a mile from the ground in the pouring rain. No umbrellas. We weren't really prepared. We did have our coats on. So we had a half a mile walk to the ground in monsoon-like conditions. Three different security checks. So they kept us... We were outside the ground for about an hour. By the time we got into the ground, like Ian says, it was like we jumped into a swimming pool. And O-I, our engineer, got to the point where, you know, you just don't like having wet clothes on your body.

It's just uncomfortable to be in wet clothes he just once he'd settled the kit up for us to commentate from he sat in the stadium and watched that game in his underpants that was all he wore for that game actually in the stadium must have been very off-putting it was a bit it was a bit yeah bare-chested i think i think he had an unzipped coat over his top half, but the lower half was just pants. The match that you were at again, Crystal Palace-Newcastle, worst match you've seen this season? And the challenges of commentating on a terrible match?

Well, you've got to try and make it interesting for the listener, and you can't call any punches. It was just shocking. In the end, myself and Michael Brown did exactly that. Reference some TV shows. I said, this is akin to watching Blankety Blank. I was just trying. It was awful.

Thankfully, it improved. But Newcastle, although they'd scored through a gay he-owned goal, didn't have a shot on target throughout the whole game and you're always conscious that you want to still follow the passage of play and we have got the other scores

coming in as you know on a Saturday afternoon but just nothing was happening and I did crack a joke which for me was the highlight of the half although it had a tumble moment for Mark Chapman.

Because I'd said this game has got no flow, a plumber is required, and Chap has just pulled me up on that, didn't necessarily go with the momentum of what I was trying to build. But yeah, you know what he's like in that situation. Surprised by that? Yeah.

Although earlier on that day, I could have come a cropper, because when we're through the build-up at five live, I go off to do the world service for 15 minutes and I came back and I didn't think we were on air. So I came back just to do a mic check before I went on air and I went one, two, one, two, one, two. And unbeknown to me, Chappers was actually live on five live sport. And you then go cold thinking, blimey, that could have been worse. I could have said anything there, particularly after a horse race I'd just watched hadn't gone in my favour either. And thankfully, I just went 1-2-1-2. Anything could have been said. It certainly entertained me. The thing with, as Ian just mentions though, John,

with that Saturday 3 o'clock commentary that Ian regularly does, that you are helped out a little bit there if your game isn't great because hopefully there is other stuff going on elsewhere and other games can almost become the feature games in a way so you're still doing the commentary on the game but if a bigger story is developing elsewhere you can obviously go to your reporters and and get your updates done you know and and sort of keep the story bubbling along and it's something that's just struck me actually I mean you know we're going to talk a lot in this series about football commentary and that is predominantly what we do on air but occasionally the three of us will do games where we're doing

updates so ian when you're commentating at three o'clock on a saturday afternoon we might have 10 12 15 reporters at different events updating you on you know let's say premier league football for example i sometimes think that can be as difficult a skill if not more difficult a skill than actually commentating on a football game because you know you've got 10 15 seconds max to tell the story to start with the score to end with the score to try and provide some colors you know some entertainment something funny to sort of you know to entertain the audience and squeeze it all in into that tiny period of time it's it's it's a really you know and the people we have doing it regularly every saturday afternoon are fantastic operators i think if you know people don't regularly listen to that saturday afternoon

show five live sport from three o'clock with it all bouncing around and flying around is a brilliant lesson i think i mean i'm off this weekend i'm not i'm not commentating this weekend and one of the joys of of not working on a saturday for me is three o'clock i mean not just three o'clock obviously it's the whole show from midday but but you once you take over three o'clock and it and it's all going off for two hours i love that do you know this is going to be terribly corporate of me i actually mentioned it on the air the other day. Last Saturday afternoon, after I heard you do your 1-2-1-2-1-2, I actually had to go to the shops to get something for tea. And I actually did what we keep telling people to do.

I actually put the match on my phone on BBC Sounds and I actually listened to you all the way to the shops and back. What about that? I do that all the time. What did you go to the shops and back. What about that? I do that all the time. What did you go to the shops to buy? Now you're asking, what did I have for tea last Saturday afternoon?

What was it? Probably pasta of some variety, I think. By the way, Ali, I probably shouldn't ask you here. Do you remember that curry that your wife recently once made for us with the lamb and the aubergine? I've lost the recipe. Okay, no problem i need that back yeah what was your what was your highlight ali this week because obviously you did

the manchester united yeah everton last sunday afternoon reuben amram's first home yes so manchester united everton sunday and then i did ipswich crystal palace on tuesday night i really enjoyed at the start of the game having a little bit of time you know sometimes the presenter will hand it to you and you've really just got to crack on with the game you've got no time at all team's out football's underway away you go other times you have a little bit of time for whatever reason to sort of set a scene and paint a picture and i actually really enjoyed just describing portman road a minute or so of just trying to put the listeners in in our position and sort of describe what i was seeing because we you know that obviously is the

the idea of the job but sometimes you don't have time to do all of that and i really like portman road as a football ground because i think they've modernized that and it has grown over the years and you know i've been to that ground a lot i went there as a kid quite a lot because you know i grew up near there and used to go and watch a bit of ipswich town but i think it still retains that there's real character to portman road it's still pretty much the same ground that i used to go to in the early 80s with all the little touches and and when you drive into ipswich at the top of the hill and you look to your right and you see the white lettering of ipswich town fc on top of the cobbled stand the roof of the cobbled stand and that that roof is still corrugated iron with and you can see that the big moss patches that have sort of grown there

over the years but it's still you know it's still modern it's current and it works for the Premier League but I just quite enjoyed being there atmosphere there this season so far for the home games has been fabulous but to be able to try and sort of paint a picture of that I enjoyed do you know what I thought we should do this week? Because I think it's this kind of thing that if people listen to a podcast called A Commentator's View, I thought we should talk about what are our favourite,

what we think are the best commentary positions in the Premier League. And I think we could rank them. You know, we could decide on a top three. So let's do that. But let's do that after the wheel of spiel. It is time for the second wheel of spiel, which tests our commentary skills. And one of us has to describe a bit of footage that was sent on our phones. And the rest of us have to work out what the other one is describing. If you remember the first week, I had to describe some commentary from the World Bowls Championship.

So it could be something like that. It could be something completely random. So we have to find out, first of all, who is going to play on the wheel of spiel. Let's spin that wheel of spiel now. Great drama. It's coming, it's coming. There it is.

Oh, it stopped on ABB. We have a winner. We have a winner. It's you, Al. Right, excellent. We have a winner, it says, in gold. So, Ali, we are going to play in some sound effects and then you are going to pick up with the commentary so we won't see this me and ian have to work out what it is that you are

commentating on have you got it yet uh it's just arrived okay something's just dropped um crikey is it on the floor okay here we go then three two one go right well it's um it's beautiful and it's serene and it's peaceful and it's blue but there's danger lurking under the surface here i can see creatures shaped like angels in yellow and black, but they're being followed and pursued by what I would describe them as predators. Sleek, grey, cold-eyed predators following these angel-shaped creatures along their path. There we go. What can you do with that?

That's it, I'm afraid, yeah. Sounds like a scene from Finding Nemo. Oh, Denno, that's not bad. What was it? I thought it was just going to be generic sharks after angelfish. Oh. We are going to find out in a moment or two, Ali. That's exciting.

The Football Daily Podcast. On BBC Sounds. Weekend mornings on Five Live. Saturdays from 9am. Patrick Kielty. Ah, good morning, folks. There you are. And at 11, Fighting Talk.

With Rick Edwards. It's the debates you have with your mates in the pub or the group chat thrashed out furiously on national radio. Sundays from 10.en murray conversation connection and community that's what this show's all about weekend mornings on bbc radio 5 live the commentator's view on the Wheel of Spiel. Let's hear the real version. Sharks, tired and full, one by one, abandon the chase. Until only the luckiest and fittest Moorish idols survive.

So there you are. There weren't angel fish, Ali. There were Moorish idols. I should have known that. I should have known that. But David Attenborough delivered that with a lot more... I mean, obviously he had that lovely sweeping classical music behind him, but a lot more drama there, wasn't there, than I sort of known that. But David Attenborough delivered that with a lot more. I mean, obviously he had that lovely sweeping classical music behind him. A lot more drama there, wasn't there, than I sort of delivered that.

I mean, did David Attenborough actually send that footage in, John? Did he get in touch on TCV at bbc.co.uk? The email bounced back. More disappointment for the former. What was he? Was he head of BBC One? Testing me now, John. David Attenborough. Anyway, moving on from David Attenborough, A disappointment for the former. What was he? He was head of BBC One. Test him in Agile. David Attenborough.

Anyway, moving on from David Attenborough, what we would like would be suggestions of what it is we should commentate on, on the wheel of spiel whenever it makes its return. And that is the same email address. So you can send your footage if you've got something like that. I mean, it could be anything, couldn't it? It could be anything. You know, your brother's wedding. It could be,

you know, you name it. It could be something that you just think might work in this feature and send it to TCV at bbc.co.uk. Shall we rate our favourite commentary positions? Yeah. What do you think the top three would

be? It'd be interesting to see if we come up with the same ones. In the Premier League. Currently in the Premier League. For 20 clubs in the Premier League. What would your top three be? It's interesting, John, isn't it? As in the best or your favourite.

Because there's obviously grounds that we like going to. The best places to commentate from. Forget everything else. Parking. What the food's like, whatever, how close it is to where... Purely, purely from being a commentary

position, and we're talking about the five live commentary positions, not the TV commentary positions or whatever. This is where we commentate from in those grounds. I've got my three. Oh, you've got three already? Go on then, Dan. In no particular order, Liverpool, Tottenham and Arsenal, but only Arsenal on the gantry.

All those positions are elevated. They give you a terrific view of the overview. You can see the game panning out in front of you. So if Arsenal's on the TV gantry, and that's why I always prefer to commentate from, then Arsenal makes my top three. If it's down below in the press box then arsenal is eliminated it's way down i mean i i totally get the argument for those three i

sometimes enjoy being a little bit lower down than say tottenham or liverpool so still being able to get that sort of bird's eye view of the pitch and watch the pattern of play develop but being a little bit closer to try and get a bit more detail so i think grounds like um i mean i don't know if either of you to have commentated at portman road this season not yet but the position they put us in there oh it's absolutely superb so compared to where we used to be we've come down about half the way down the stand and it's that it's that lovely height that i'm talking about and i think brentford is the same for me i quite enjoy the height we are at brentford so that i would yeah have they got rid of the fluorescent lights at portman road last time i commentated at portman road yes the press box was lit up with fluorescent lights that were underneath the tables no then that's not

there anymore john you'll really enjoy it at Portman Road, I think. But I think I'd have to put Tottenham in there as well. That is just a super stadium. We need an order, I like. One, two, three. Leicester's good as well, you know. I quite like Leicester. A bit left of centre there.

Okay, let's go Tottenham, Ipswich, Liverpool. I am going, and actually Ian swayed me a bit with his Arsenal on the upper tier, but I'm going Chelsea is my favourite in the Premier League. Chelsea, Tottenham, Arsenal. The reason for that is, I think, our

current position at Liverpool, it's a great position, high, it's a little bit too far away. And I think Chelsea, I mean, Tottenham is brilliant in the new stadium. But I think Chelsea is also, you know, when we're upstairs, this is not the press box, which is, you know, behind the dugouts at Stamford Bridge. This is up at the top of the West Stand. It's the West Stand, isn't it, at Chelsea that we're in.

I think that is a great viewpoint, and also it is closer than Tottenham. So I think they're very similar, Chelsea and Tottenham, but I think Chelsea's a little bit closer. And then I'd put Arsenal, the upstairs Arsenal, in third place. And the reason for that is that when you're up there, it's actually very difficult to see the side of the pitch where the managers are.

And so if anything happens down there, very often it will happen out of your eyesight if you're on that Arsenal upper tier position. So those would be my three. And given what you're covering this weekend on Five Live, John, whichever way round this fixture was, you'd be happy. I'd be in one of my top two Premier League commentary positions. Exactly. You're doing Tottenham Chelsea on Sunday, aren't you? Yeah. And I just find Chelsea really interesting at the moment.

I don't know about you two. I've described them this week a couple of times as the stalking horse, to use the political phrase. They're second in the table now. And I thought the team selection against Southampton, quite a surprise team selection, yet they went there and won 5-1. He has got a lot of options, don't you think?

Well, they made seven changes, didn't they, against... I mean, I know Southampton were missing a number of players and they had the lad sent off, Stevens, but you say he's got a lot of players and they had the lad sent off Stevens but you say he's got a lot of options and the quality at his disposal as well for Maresca and I was at St James' Park when they lost in the League Cup

to Newcastle and I think there was a disappointment from the supporters but I actually, I got the impression from Maresca and I get the impression from the Chelsea hierarchy that they thought that that was one distraction they can do without if it means that they can then focus on the top four and if they get top four then and like you say challenging for the title I think that they are all of a sudden it's just clicking together now for Chelsea. You could argue couldn't you that

the lineup that he picked against Southampton was almost the team that he's been playing in the Europa Conference League he made that many changes because it's been two different teams this season effectively hasn't it which is why I always think whenever we come off the back of a European week you always say well I mean we've been talking about it with Aston Villa this season haven't we it's very difficult to manage both campaigns particularly if you play on the Thursday not a problem for Chelsea this season because he's playing two entirely different teams in the two competitions. But what's so great for him is that those players like Joao Felix and Nkunku, who obviously scored against Southampton, are coming in and playing well.

So he's trusted them in a Premier League game as well. He's managed that squad brilliantly, because at the start of the season season that did look like a potential mess yeah and you know Jackson was an unused substitute wasn't he on Thursday night Neto was also on the bench so I think again

that gives you a few clues as to who may be playing at Tottenham so that's our 4.30 commentary on this coming Sunday afternoon Clinton Morrison's going to be alongside me for that. What have you got this weekend, Ian, on Saturday at three? I'm back at the easiest ground to get to in the Premier League,

which is Selhurst Park, which just outside the Whitehorse Lane Road, behind that stand, there's actually some traffic lights. And last week, I was waiting at the traffic lights to get towards the ground, and cars just kept on coming. So even though my traffic lights had turned green, two or three second delay, a car just decides to drive down. He must have clearly gone through red.

So I've already set off going through this narrow stretch of road with the roadworks to my right. I had to mount the pavement because this guy just decided to saunter his way through so blasé yes sorry to hear about that as well you know it goes from bad to worse there the only thing is is that i've been back to back and i won't be going back before christmas are you sure positive and ali what are you... Well, you're not covering the match this weekend.

So I'm going to try and get ahead with my prep at the end of this week. So I'm going off to Germany next week to do Leipzig against Aston Villa. Already been there this season. I know. And you told me such wonderful tales of what there is to see and do there

that I really want to get a lot of my prep work for the commentary done so I've actually got time to use a bit of time on match day just to have a look around because I've never been and people obviously went during the Euros and told great tales of being in Leipzig. So I'm really looking forward to that. So, yeah, that's Leipzig Villa next Tuesday. But, yes, no game this weekend. So it's actually I've got a bit of downtime.

So, I can listen to the football on the go on the BBC Sounds app. When he's doing his shopping. He's going for some lamb and aubergine for a curry. Yeah, exactly. I, like you, had not been to Leipzig since World Cup 2006. So, during Euro 2024, didn't go there. Went a couple of times. And on one of those occasions,

I had a big medical drama because before the match, we were in the press room. I had a bread bun and I had a sharp knife and I had a bread bun and I cut through the bread bun and just cut into the side of my finger.

So it was a little nick, sort of turned around and said to the people in the media cafe there, does anybody have a plaster? And it was like there'd been a major medical emergency. Stop! Stop! They got on their walkie-talkies.

And I'm standing there with like this slightly cut finger. And the door bursts open. And this medical team, full medical kit, red crossers, stretcher, the whole lot burst into the room. And they're like looking around and someone points at me and they see the blood on my finger. This way, follow us. So I'm like walking through. They take me into this room. I'm in this room.

They say, lie down, lie down on the bed. Lying down on the bed with this finger in the air. Stay still, stay still, hold your arm in the air. I was the subject of a full a medical emergency and i put this massive bandage on my finger i live to tell the tale talking about dramatic injuries at portman road on tuesday night ipswich against crystal palace daro shay which is centre back got a really nasty gash to his head which sort of stopped the game for a little while and i probably should have made the link but again this is a great example of where you're

sitting at a commentary and we're all working as a team together rob nothman who was producing me that evening who i've already mentioned on this podcast quick as a flash as he sees the blood pouring down the ipswich town players head just scribbles the note to me terry butcher which is a you know i mean it wasn't an injury injury like Terry Butcher's and you couldn't play on like Terry played on. But that's one of the most iconic football photos you'll ever see of Terry Butcher in the England shirt. Absolutely soaked in blood with the bandage around his head. But it's just a great example, I think, of where, you know, that didn't spring to mind. I would not have said that or brought it into commentary had Rob not scribbled it down. But having a producer sitting alongside you just to nudge you and point you in a certain direction,

you know, really adds to the commentary. When you're thinking quickly, after Kelleher had made the mistake for Liverpool against Newcastle, I'd dropped out the line that Chris Waddle has used many times, because Kelleher has come for the ball, hasn't collected it, mistake from him, and Scher has put the ball in from an acute angle. And I'd said, if only Kelleher could turn back time, to which Pat Nevin, very, very quickly, Pat Nevin just went, nice one, Sonny.

Very good. Shall we draw things to a close with the latest... Sorry, Ali, go on. Can I just chuck in one really geeky thing before we do that, John? Because I'm quite excited about this. And in the first couple of podcasts, you brought it up both times. There are certain elements of this pod that are a bit sort of niche from the football commentator's point of view.

And if you're looking for some geek factor, then you're going to get it. I am talking to you on a brand new lip microphone here. So these are the old-fashioned looking microphones that we've commentated on for as long as i've since been you know been doing the job and even glenn denning was commentating you know box shaped at the top and they've got that little bar that that sit on your top lip but um so so i've picked a couple of new ones up recently because my others were misbehaving well i have and it's lovely to have a you know a brand new shiny microphone but what what will

amuse you about it no what what got any new ones, Ian? No. What's really pleasing me about it is not only is the microphone new, but it's come in this shiny new case. So to look after it, it's come in this sort of black, hard plastic protective case. And when you open the case, there's a foam inset with the shape of the lip mic, so you can just put your lip mic in there and then close it. I feel like James Bond opening his case with his Walther PPK. Honestly.

When I get to the commentary position, I put it on the table and I open it with a flourish as if I'm about to remove my... Honestly, I'm loving it. Do you then get the lead and you go, click, click? Yes. Licence to commentate. Very good.

Well, what phrases will you be using on your brand new lip mics that might be able to be entered into the great dictionary of football commentary? And again, we want to hear listeners' suggestions for this to TCV at BBCbc.co.uk. We've already included, haven't we, the honeymoon period, which I actually used again on Wednesday night when Ruben Amorim's honeymoon period came to an end. We've included languishing. Dave suggested aplomb. Spud suggested steepling. And Sean suggested the

commentator's curse. So what are we going to include this week? I honestly think this week should be the one that you suggested. Oh, OK. Given the first game of the weekend, 12.30 on Saturday at Goodison Park. It's the Merseyside Derby.

And what you've suggested here connected to games like this, I think is very relevant. Yeah, so this is going to be, and this gives you another, you know, it's not just words we're after, it's phrases and also things that commentators do. And this is one of the things that commentators do.

And you cannot help it. I don't know why. I don't know why it is. You cannot resist it. When it's a Derby match, so like the Everton-Liverpool this weekend, you just cannot resist saying what number it is of that particular derby.

It's the 192nd in all competitions. It's the 171st in the league. Yet you never ever do... What number is it this weekend? I don't know, actually. Do you know what it is? No, I meant to look that up. I'm not doing the game. Yet you never ever do. What number is it this weekend? I don't know, actually. Do you know what it is? No, I meant to look that up. I'm not doing the game.

Well, neither am I. But we never ever, we would never ever say that for Bournemouth against Newcastle. We'd never ever give the number up, would we? You'd only do it for a derby. Do we want to leave it at that or do we want one other suggestion?

I'll tell you what I quite like that's been, has it been sent in? Anyway it's the, and this is a very old fashioned one, when two players are going for the same ball and they leave it for one another and the commentator will say it's a case of after you

Claude. Do you know what is the provenance of that John? Do you know? Apparently I'm told that the original phrase is from a radio show in the 1940s called It's That Man Again. Oh, that was ITMA, wasn't it? I-T-M-A, It's That Man Again. And a phrase that was used in that program was, it was after you, Claude. So it's probably Raymond Glendening with one of those lip microphones would have used after you, Claude. That would go over the head of a lot of our younger listeners.

It would, but it wouldn't go over the head of a lot of our older listeners. Right, shall we draw it? No, it wouldn't go over your head because I'm too tall. And let's just run through all of the matches that you'll be able to hear on Five Live over the course of this coming weekend. So, Ian, Crystal Palace Manchester City, 3 o'clock Saturday the usual service in amongst the commentary, Paul Robinson's

going to be with Ian for that 5.30 on Saturday it's another one for Ruben Amarim Manchester United against Nottingham Forest, John Akers and Izzy Christensen are going to be there, Izzy who's with me at Arsenal the other night Sunday 2 o'clock, Fulham Arsenal. Arsenal lost there last season.

Jonathan Pearce and Andy Reid will be at Craven Cottage for that one. Two on Sunday on Sports Extra. Leicester against Brighton with Lee Blakeman and Curtis Davis. We'll also bring you Ipswich Bournemouth at two o'clock. That's online. Chris Coles is going to be commentating on that one.

And then 4.30 Sunday, as we have discussed, it is Tottenham, Chelsea with me and Clinton Morrison. So that is it. I'm not sure I'll be here next week. So it might be someone else taking my place. What about that for a bombshell late in the podcast? You might not get your place back, John. That's the danger. You miss a week if someone comes in and performs.

Yeah, it's a bit like Chelsea, isn't it? We'll record on time next week anyway. Well, let's see about that. Right, that is it. I was hoping we were going to play out with a bit of Stevie Wonder. Do you think we might be able to do that? Here he comes. Here he comes.

So there we are that is it for number three of the commentators view and remember you can get in touch with us at tcv

at bbc.co.uk happy birthday to Leandro Trossard and Diogo Jota for this week as well and thanks for listening

the next episode of the Football Daily will be in focus with Tammy Abraham, I wonder who got the chance to go and speak to him, anyway that'll be on the Football Daily and us commentators, whoever it is, will be back next week, we'll speak to you then Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday The Commentators View with Happy birthday, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. The Commentator's View with Alistair Bruce Ball, John Murray and Ian Dennis on the Football Daily. In Northern Ireland, from the late 70s to the early 90s, the IRA killed over 40 alleged informers. But the man who often found, tortured and sometimes killed these people on behalf of the IRA was himself an informer. A secret British Army agent

with the code name Stake Knife. Who gets to play board? And why me? Why my family? When lies are still being told to this day, who do you believe? I wouldn't even know where to start and I'm with the IRA. Stake Knife. Listen first on BBC Sounds.