Football Daily - The Commentators' View LIVE Show

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

John Murray & Ian Dennis talk football, travel & language with a live studio audience in Sheffield. Also hear from Pat Nevin and Ali Bruce-Ball. WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369. Emails to [e-mail]05:00 John’s end-of-season bonus, 13:40 Ian shows off his big red book, 17:10 Pat Nevin on working with John & Ian, 19:50 Pat and Ian pranking each other, 23:45 Great Glossary of Football Commentary, 34:50 Clash of the Commentators, 41:25 Answering audience questions. BBC Sounds / 5 Live commentaries: Sun 10 Aug 1500 Crystal Palace v Liverpool in the Community Shield.Glossary so far: 2-0 is a dangerous score, After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Brace, Brandished, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Coupon buster, Cultured/Educated left foot, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Fox in the box, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Good touch for a big man, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Nutmeg, Opposite number, Park the bus, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Put their laces through it, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Stramash, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Put it in the mixer, Route one Towering header, Two good feet Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands, Where the owl sleeps, Winger in their pocket, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.

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We talk a lot about the age of people, so just to check and see how old you are, nice to see you, to see you. Nice. I thought so. And by the way, just to get it right, I'm John Marie. And I'm Ian Dennis.

Yes. I'm the one who's got a face for radio. Because we quite often get confused, don't we? Yeah, we do. Although I was walking up the, arrived in the city earlier on, and I can see Rory here on the second row. And Rory said, are you here? And I said, yeah, he said, nice to meet you.

And I thought, that's at least one person who's going to turn up this afternoon. Because it is quite unusual, actually, to have an audience, because obviously when you do a radio commentary, you don't see anybody. You're talking to thousands, if not millions, when the World Service joiners. And I host a couple of dinners,

football dinners in the northeast and in Manchester. And you host in front of about 400 people. And it's quite daunting to have that interaction. But you can tell us a party, Ian, can't you on air? Because you're the one who says added on time, whereas I say added time. Do I say added on time? Yes, you do. Do I?

Yeah. You always notice that. Listen, so you can tell who's who. And also... Get that one up his sleeve. And also, if somebody gets a yellow cardian, you say they've been booked. And I say they've been booked. Yeah, but I would say Ilkly Moore, where you would say Ilklimua.

Ilkly moor. Yeah. So three easy ways to tell us apart. Yeah. And there is no Ali Bruce Ball today. Ah. Well done. But we may hear from them a little bit later on, but as you may have heard, we are in front of a live audience.

Yes, from the BBC Sounds Fringe at the Crossed Wires Festival in. Sheffield. Great to see so many people here in this footballing hotbed of Yorkshire. We have the great glossary of football commentary later on and a special edition of Clash of the Commentators too. And actually, we should also do a little straw poll here to see how many of you have come because you listen to this podcast. Well, hands up.

Okay. And how many of you come because you listen to a row? radio football commentary with us. Yeah? Well, that's actually a few more, isn't it? Yeah. And how many of you just turned up out of curiosity? Oh, good.

That's actually quite a few. And I haven't got a clue who we are and what we do. How many were here for the shipping forecast and we just decided to stay on? Yes, I thought so. Yeah. Well, this won't be plane sailing, I can tell you. Get off. We have done something like this.

once before, haven't we? Yeah, that was in Hull. It was a Q&A. And later on, actually, we're going to do a Q&A. We did have a dilemma, actually, before we started, whether we're going to sit down or stand up, because during a commentary, we always tend to sit down, don't we? But our TV counterparts, a lot of them would actually stand up to do the commentary.

And we've broken into our summer holidays, haven't we, to do this? Well, I've been on holiday for about two weeks. Yeah. So this is a special one-off during the course of the summer. So when did your season actually, end your football season. The day after England played Senegal at the city ground in mid-June

and when I return is dependent on you. Go on? Well, because if you decide to do the community shield I'm not back till the opening weekend of the Premier League season in mid-August. Well, I am covering the Community Shield, I can tell. But I've got a long, long break. Yeah.

So there we are. Exclusive news for crossed wires. And if anybody wonders what a commentator does in the summer, during COVID, that was my first father's stay at home since 2005 because you'd have a major tournament or I'd do the under 21s whereas this year John did the under 21s in Slovakia so I've been playing golf badly playing golf badly and the other day I played golf very badly and if I'm not back until the 16th of August I'll continue to play golf badly and what is your what is your first commentary next season do you know that already

have we decided sundal and west ham I think which is the Saturday the three o'clock So your season ended on a bit of a downer, didn't it, with that England performance against Senegal? Of course, if there's anyone in from Senegal, it ended up on a real high. Anybody from Scotland? I might have enjoyed that as well. Yeah, it did, yes.

But to be fair, I forgot about that now. I've just been looking forward to my weeks off. Whereas I had a real bonus at the end of the season covering the England under 21s. I don't know if anyone watched that, or indeed listened to it. It was really terrific. Yeah.

But you did the group stages, when we say off-tube, that was in a studio in Solford where it's off-the-television. That's why it's described as an off-tube commentary. But then for the latter stages, you did go to Bratislava, didn't you? Yeah, so as we've discussed on this podcast over the course of this season, during COVID, really, it was when we started doing games off-tube. So you are effectively sitting in a studio at the BBC, commentating off a big television or televisions.

And it is a really odd experience, isn't it? And for a variety of reasons, for the under 21s, we decided that we would start off covering that tournament England's matches as an off-tube experience. And if they got to the semi-finals, we would then travel to Slovakia and cover them however long it lasted. Of course, they ended up winning it.

So it was quite an experience. But it was a real reminder for me, those off-tube matches, just how it is still commentating, and you do still get the message across, obviously, and you're able to, and actually you have a very, very good view on the television, and sometimes it's a clearer view, commentating off to television, and it actually is in real life. But when I heard them played back again, as we did for the semi-final and the final,

and the, you know, the producers put together montages, listening to it, it's strange, that's definitely five or ten, 10% that just isn't there that you get when you are in the middle of it. There's no substitute for being there, is there? No. Particularly, I think, for, you know, radio is such an intimate, you know, medium. Whereas I think the television commentators can focus on the pictures that you're watching. Whereas for a radio commentary, it's the sights, but it's the sounds as well.

It's what you see away from the pitch that adds that extra little bit of colour, which I think is the very essence of a radio commentary. Yeah. And it's also an emotional thing as well, I think, that. that you are emotionally invested when you're part of a big crowd. And this was something that we experienced during COVID as well when there was not a crowd

in the football grounds. And we were there commentating. And if you remember, we would play fake sound effects so that at least there was something there. But it was a very odd thing and you got the same thing when you're covering a match off tube. It just feels really flat, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.

It's quite inhibiting actually during that time. I remember did a game at St James's Park and Newcastle concede in an equaliser and I got quite excited for the team who just scored and Steve Bruce, the Newcastle manager because we're only about probably 10 yards behind the dugouts at St James's Park and he turned round and gave me a glare

which was quite unnerving at the time. And I remember, I think Ali was commentating on Brighton to remember, and our commentary position was quite low down at Brighton and Graham Potter was the Brighton manager at the time and in our post-match interview afterwards he was asked about the experience and he said in all honesty it felt like I was listening to the five live

commentary and you can actually hear Ali who was about 10 yards behind him commentating on the match and on the season that's just finished Ian what would you pick out as your highlight would perhaps would perhaps this be

your highlight Saka takes three or four meaningful strides back for this free kick it is fractionally right of centre it's less than 30 yards out from goal. However, it's Declan Rice who hits it. Oh, and doesn't he hit it? Oh, yes, he hits it.

It's a terrific strike. Erdogard or Rice. Arsenal lead 1-0. Declan Rice runs now. Hits it right foot. Oh, Rice, Rice, baby. Oh, my word. Two absolute belters.

Right-footed. Top right-hand corner. Arsenal Lee round a drink by two goals to nil. Any Arsenal fans in Sheffield? No, in fact. That's a resounding. Well, you'll have enjoyed hearing that then. Any vanilla ice fans in?

That was great though, wasn't it? I don't know where that came from. Yeah, no. I remember when I did the Liverpool, Barcelona commentary in 2019, which is still probably up there with one of my favourite commentaries. That in Liverpool, Borussia, Dortmund a few years earlier. And I said something along the lines of life has got really interesting inside Anfield now. And you listen back to it and you think, what does that even mean?

So I don't know where that came from. That was great. You know, I thought that was genius, actually. Yeah. Well. I thought it was a brilliant piece of commentary. Yeah. At the time.

One of your best, if you don't mind myself. Thank you. At the time, I was thinking he's not going to do it again. And then when he did. and then it's one of those moments where the jaw does drop you got, you know, it's one of those. I remember JJ O'Cotch

just scoring a goal for Bolton against Aston Villa in a league cup semi-final where he's hit it from about 35 yards and the astonishment at the time is, you know, he's just tried to be conveyed in the actual commentary itself. The thing about that, though I think is

that it, that's what you want to do, isn't it, as a commentator? When you see a great goal or a very, very meaningful goal as a commentator, the ideal is to say something like that that is memorable. That's fair, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. I did the Europa League final and a Tottenham fan friend of mine said to me, he said, oh, it was a great line at the trophy lift. And I said, oh, what was the great line? He said, I can't remember now. So I thought, it can't be that great.

So I listened back to it, and it was something about the weight, the burden, the weight burden has been lifted now as they lifted the trophy but again it was just one of those things that came naturally I didn't necessarily think oh that's a prepared line because that's often the thing isn't it that commentators were accused of is is having those pre-prepared lines well you'd have to be a bloody good person to think that Declan rice is going to hit two great goals like that he'd never scored direct from a free kick had no he hadn't no in his career

that's right and then scored two in there yeah yeah amazing so for every one of of those, you get one of these. And this was when I was trying to describe the opening goal or the aftermath of the opening goal in the Champions League final when we're in Munich, which was scored by Paris Saint-Germans at Traff Hakimi. And there he was on the edge. As you said, Chris, free as a bird,

and it is the year of the bird, as we keep being told, to pop it in on the edge of the box. And I mean, they had their pickets, pocked, pockets picked if a concern. spit it out there by PSG as you say inside left outside right they didn't know where he was he was free as can be and popped it in the net yeah and it's been a feature of PSG the longer the sea most unlike Chris Sutton not to pounce on that yes could you say that again if you tried not the bit about Chris Sutton they get their pickets pocked so when you're

When do you actually start to turn your mind to the new season? And I'm asking that question, knowing very well what the answer is. Probably about three or four days before. I mean, you never turn off. I mean, the first thing I used to do when I come in from school would get teletext or CFax on and type in page 301 for the football. You know, I just want to immerse myself in football. I still watch the football channels now.

I still look at the BBC Sport website. You know, I still, you know, read the papers. You're constantly soaking in. information, but it's not properly until it gets to the, when you get into the minutiae of it all three or four days before. So I think it's important to switch off. Yeah, a big thing, as again those who listen to this podcast will know, both Ian and I do actually update our records. So for all of the matches, all the teams, Premier League internationals, quite a few other teams as well. And that's quite, I find that, well, it takes up a lot of my week.

And this is a glorious time I find when you don't have to do that. Well, you say that, they've got the Club World Cup. Well, there is that, yeah. I've been updating my computer notes now, even in my red book as well. Yeah. I got told to...

Tell them about the red book? Well, the red book. Actually, people, John Murray thought today that he was coming here for the commentator for you. But this is your life. And okay, so now the 50s. 15 teenagers. Yeah.

I didn't want to bring last year's book just in case I lost it because I'd still need it. But this is book 26. This is season 23, 24. But this is what I carry around with me all the times. It's got every team, every player across the top, every game with every appearance, substitute appearances, goals, yellow cards. And I've done this since the late 90s. So for the new season, it'll be booked 28.

So I've been updating this for Chelsea and Manchester City now for the Club World Cup. So you never, again, that's just an, isn't it? It took, I don't know, half an hour. But it's another indication. I'll just nip into the office and update it. But it does take a long time, doesn't it? You know, if you do that on a Monday, that takes me most of a Monday. It doesn't take me that long.

Takes me about an hour. Now you can work out who probably makes the more mistakes of the two of us. And so while he does his life, like that, I've got a black file that I take with me to all of the matches, which I've carried for quite a long time now. And I actually have my bag around there, these days, I find my bag gets more attention than I do, because that bag there is over a quarter of a century old, because I got that bag as a free gift at the Ryder Cup at Brookline in 1999. And that is, it's the best thing I've ever been given at a sporting event, and I still bring it

everywhere with me. And even when we were at the end of the season in Slovakia, one of the young FA social media people called George, I think his name is, was fascinated by this bag. Where did I get it from? What have I got in this bag? So, but that's where I keep my black file. And I do it on loose leaf paper. So I just carry the two teams that are concerned around at a time. I'd lose that. The loose leaf, I'd lose it. Yeah, well, I'd be worried I'd lose that. Yeah, I still might, yeah. And then you've lost everything. Yeah.

Well, it's like the floppy disc. I turned up a few years ago for a game at Bramall Lane. Just explain the floppy disk. So it's on my PC at home. And it's got every Premier League team, even every England squad. And it's got the sort of like the name, the appearances, their age. There's just little bits of information, little bio details of every player. And it's condensed onto my computer.

And I turned up at Bramle Lane. And the day before I went to print it off, the floppy disk crashed and I hadn't backed it up I know I actually didn't say oh said something a lot stronger I can tell you anyway since then I still get the floppy disc I've got a new computer with an adapter now still for the floppy disk the floppy disk still works but I've got a back it up onto a USB and earlier this season January the 15th my Liverpool pen picks crashed on my floppy disk but there I was feeling quite smug.

That is back on the USB. So I rescued the situation, always retrieved. So you've heard a bit of our commentary. Next we're going to hear from one of our summarises on what it's like working with us. Good evening, everyone. It's Pat Nevin here,

and I'm one of the lucky ones who works with Radio 5 alongside John Murray and Ian Dennis. You know that John Murray, he's the one that makes Jarvis Cocker look like a sumo wrestler, long and skinny, far too skinny. And of course Ian Dennis, he's the one that's in the Eric Markham look-a-like competition and losing quite badly.

What can I tell you about both of these two? Well, when we're travelling, big, big important part of it is travelling. If you're going on win a flight, don't go with John Murray, because it'll go wrong. It always goes wrong. He misses flights, the flights are cancelled, there's always delays. If it was a flight, it has to be caught with another one. Forget it, it's going to be missed. The baggage, that's not going to end up. the right country never ever does and of course there's plenty of times when you look at them you think where is that passport or where is that wallet of course it's been nicked so it's a tough cat he travel with but when he gets there he's great fun whereas denno totally and utterly trustworthy you've never let you down if you've got a 6 a.m flight just go into the bar at 3 30 and he'll be

there waiting for you absolutely no doubt about it at all always there you just need to make sure you You can prize them out of that bar and get them to the airport, and it'll be okay. I suppose the real question is, and I think it's the one you'll want to know, who is the best? Well, I'm going to tell the truth. I'm a pundit. That's my job. I've got to tell the truth. None of this sitting on the fence.

Get it out there, get it straight, and be absolutely honest. Even though it's going to hurt one or the other of them, that is the job of the pundit. So I'm going to tell you it now No time to lose This is the one Well that's the wine I'll get back to you now I'm very good

We're very fortunate aren't we With the summarisers that we work with Yes we are yeah You know we've been blessed down the years Jimmy Arnfield Graham Taylor Terry Butcher Chris Waddle And even Mark Lawrenson

And even now we've got Chris Sutton Matt Upsin Rob Green Pat, you know, Paul Robinson, Stephen Warnock, Michael Brown, Michael Brown, naughty Michael Brown, Sheffield United. Last time I did a game at Bram-O-L-Layne, I was in the commentary position,

and I felt something sort of like, I thought, what was that? And he's on the road behind me, and he's got these hard-boiled sweets, and he's throwing them at me during the commentary. He's a nightmare at times. That was self-editing, by the way, that's not a false start.

Although, Pat, when we were in Russia, because when we went to the World Cup in 2018 we were given teams, weren't we? And I travelled around Russia with Pat and I've got to say he had me on toast which obviously would make maybe the footballing glossary

because he would just wind me up constantly. I'd left my jacket on one of the internal flights and we had to wait an hour as we'd landed back at the I think it was in Moscow so we had to wait an hour to eventually retrieve the jacket

I tried to get back myself, and I was forcefully told, niet. Anyway, I put it in the back of the car that took us back to the hotel. And when I got to the hotel, I thought, oh, God, I've left the jacket in the back of the car. So I called our fixer Maria, and I said, I'm really sorry. This doesn't happen to me normally. And she said, don't worry, we'll retrieve it from the vehicle the next day. And then Pat knocked on my door. And he said, what time were going out?

I said, I don't know, whatever time. Seven, seven. And I didn't know at the time, but it got the jacket. draped as like a waiter wood with the white towel and eventually it clopped what he'd done he he'd nicked it so i thought i'd get him back the next day only pat would read a book about the size like that it was down at breakfast dostoevsky and the passport was underneath his passport was underneath so i thought that's definitely pat so i lifted the book took the passport and went to my room maria called me and she said have you taken pat's passport i said yes but don't tell him and she said

I can't do that. So my efforts to wind him up completely fell flat. We're in a jazz bar in St. Petersburg, and this guy came up to me and he went, are you Ian Dennis? And I thought, how am I that's that? And I went, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's, can have your autograph?

And I thought, you wind him me up. Turned out that Pat had told him, that's Ian Dennis. I'll buy you a drink just going, yeah, as if you'd be in St. Petersburg, are you Ian Dennis? Well, you never know he, him. That world service? Actually, the world service, sorry to interrupt.

We were in Ghana in 2008, spent four weeks there, wonderful country, African nations. And on the way out through sort of like passport control, there was Mark Bright, and there was myself, and Russell Fuller, who's now the tennis correspondent, but he worked for sports world at the time. So I walked through, first of all, stamped it, and you go, Mark Bright, passport, stamped it, and he goes, all of a sudden, Russell Fuller Russell was just Everyone came to a standstill And Mark Bright was going Russell Fuller

What about me? And that was because Russell presented the World Service Saturday afternoon program And on us I mean the audience on a Saturday afternoon It's hundreds of millions isn't it Well I remember we were driving down from Takaradi

To Accra It was about a four hour car journey down the coast And we picked up the World Service and you were doing Liverpool against Haventon Water, Louville. And we were driving to Accrave, some were shining, clear blue sky, and yet I'm taken home and listening to the radio commentary. And that's the beauty again of radio, is that you can be anywhere, and it's just you and what you're listening to.

And now every Saturday, when I do the 3 o'clock commentary, when the World Service join us, I always say, wherever you are in the world, it's a pleasure to have your company because I can relate to that feeling when I was in Accra. And I think that's just the beauty of the world service. And that's why I say it every Saturday. But relating back to the podcast, those who listen to the commentators' view will know that we have the clash of the commentators, he said, through gritted teeth.

And also the great glossary of football commentary. And that's what we're going to do now. Normally we do it the other way around. But first of all, for this special edition, it's the great glossary first. And for those who don't know, this is where we add listener. suggestions of football-specific commentary terms and phrases to add to our collection. So we will be keen to hear your contributions if you have them. But just to run you through, and if you've got the list, Ian, have you got the list?

No. No, you haven't got the list. It's at the bottom, isn't it? Oh, right, okay. You have to. So these are some of the phrases. So if we do one between us, so things like after you, Claude. Yeah.

Aplom All Premier League Affair Denied by the Woodwork Brandished One of my favourites Honeymoon period Commentator's curse Good touch for a big man

Yeah Fellow countryman was one that we included Roy of the Rover's stuff Linguishing Throw their cap on it Relegation 6 Pointer And possibly one of the most popular For those who've listened to the podcast,

Where the Owl Sleeps. Where the Owl sleeps, which has been, since we started doing this, which was just before Christmas, wasn't it? Where the Owl sleeps, which is,

another phrase for that would be the postage stamp. So if a shot goes in what we would call the postage stamp. Where did that come from? Is that Brazil? Yeah, somewhere in South America. Yeah.

And my personal favorite, and again, it went back to right at the start, was the sole. small matter of. And the reason that that's my favorite was that we've all continued to take that on. And actually, our colleagues in other sports have also started using the small matter of. And of course, this is when it's something like Manchester City against Liverpool. It's the small matter of Manchester City against Liverpool.

It's now become a bit of a cliche, hasn't it? It does. Yeah. But very deliberately woven into the commentator's curse. because a lot of what I tend to say, I tend to curse a lot of things during my career. Yeah. Steel City Derby, of course.

A small matter of. Yes. Well, it depends what happens with Sheffield Wednesday. Well, it's a very good point. A bit raw there. Sorry. So, for new suggestions, we will go to our studio audience in a moment or two.

But let's start with a special message from a familiar voice. Hello, everyone. Alastair Bruce Ball here. Devastated not to be with you today. I'm really sorry to miss the small matter of our first live show, but hopefully this is only a prelude to the world tour

whenever that may be. I know Ian's got big plans. Unlike John, I am going to be listening when this is out as a podcast, so do be careful what you say today. I've got one term for you all to be put up for discussion for the glossary, and I've got a question for John and Ian as well.

So deal with these whenever you want. My term for the glossary is a team that likes to play football. Now, we all know what that means. You know, that's a team that plays good football that likes to get the ball down and play. It's an attractive style. But we say a team that likes to play football. Well, every team is playing football.

That is the sport. They're just playing different versions of it. So should that go in the great glossary of football commentary? And my question for John and Ian is, which is the one stadium you've never commentated at that you would really like to do so, wherever that may be in the world? Have a great show.

Had a game of golf with Hare Chapman, no less, last week. He sends his regards, and he told me to tell you all he's delighted that the pod is going strong. See you soon. I'm sure he is. Don't just say, Ali can't be that devastated. At least Pat made the effort and did a video.

Well, Ali's on his holidays. He's probably stoned. I know, it wouldn't take much just to a little voice. Well, I suppose it wouldn't. For those who don't know, Hare Chapman, Mark Chapman, that we've kind of taken to, I think that was since Germany, wasn't it? Yeah. So when we're in Germany at the Euros last summer.

Bit of a clue in the hair bit. Yes. If Mark was coming to whichever match we were at, just because we were in Germany, we started referring to him as Herr Chapman, which it just felt right, didn't it? Do you know what I mean? I can't say why it is. that it felt right. It just felt right. Yeah, but if you ever bump into him, refer to him as

Hare Chapman. Oh yes. And the other thing, if you ever bump into him, tell him how much you enjoy listening to the commentator's view podcast. Yeah, that's very important. He refers to it as the last of the summer wine podcast. I was half expecting with his being in Yorkshire that he could have had that when we walked out as a theme tune. Yeah. Unfortunately, by coming here, all of the older listeners, you've backed that up, haven't you? Anyway, um, and he's quite, um, and he's quite, about grounds you haven't been at? I'd probably like to do one in South America, I think. Oh, okay.

Maybe Argentina, something like Bocca Juniors or something like that. Yeah, it's a good suggestion that. Yeah, I'd love to do that, the Bombinera. Yeah, what about you? Valencia is one I've never done. Never done Valencia. You've done that several times. Mistaya, yeah.

In fact, when England played Andorra the other week it's Español's Ground, I think I worked out that was my 15th Spanish stadium that I'd commentated at. I've also not commentated at Bill Bauer, which you went to twice this season. And Real Sociedad, not being there either. Any others?

Not been to. Italian ones? I've done all the main ones in Italy. I've done all the main ones in Italy. So that's what I'm saying is I'd go stretch. Maybe do that on the world tour. Maybe there's an idea for you. Yeah, but the first football club in the world was Sheffield FC, wasn't it?

It was. So the first stop-off point for the world. tour is Sheffield. Perfect. It's in the stars. Yeah. You're such a crawler. And going back to the glossary, what about a team that likes to play football? Are we going to include that? Well, let's ask the audience. No, it's a very good idea. Yeah. And of course, the reason that these phrases get into the glossary is that they have to be football specific. So, you He's been very clever there, hasn't he? Yes.

By including a phrase that has the word football in it. I'm tending to think, yes, but we'll go with a show of hands. Do you think it should be included or not? That's quite overwhelming, that, isn't it? Well, hang on a minute. Who thinks it shouldn't go in? Oh, it is quite good. There was one dissent.

That life's blinding you now. So, as I mentioned, I'd love to hear some suggestions from the audience, and I think Matt is going to take a microphone, is he? Matt is pointing. He's our editor, so that's what they do. They point to other people. We've got a gentleman there in the middle with the glasses and... What's your name, sir?

My name is Sean. Go on, then far away, Sean. Okay, so when someone is playing a pass and it's had a bit of finesse on it, maybe, you might describe it as the word cute. Have you ever heard of that? Cute, yes? Yeah, yeah.

So, what do we think? A cute pass. Could you... That's not the same as a cute angle, is it? No, because that would be... Well, I got you there, didn't I? Nearly. Nearly.

Make sure that's staying in, by the way. So, acute pass. Should that be in the glossary or not? Who says hands up for yes? Hands up for no. I'm afraid, Sean, that's been given the thumbs down. Yeah. I guess it could be another sport, couldn't it?

It could. Acute pass. Yeah. Anybody else? And a cute pass. Yeah, two more behind you, Matt? How about two good feet? You hear that one a lot.

Sorry, what was your name? Peter. Hello, Peter. Yes, I've got you now. Two good feet? Is that in there? It might be. I'll tell you.

Well, Ian has a look. No, it's not in there. It's not in there. It's not in there. So, who thinks two good feet should be in? We've got a culture left foot. Oh, yeah. That's quite strong.

It is strong. Who thinks no? Well, that's in. Yeah. Well, you've got it straight in, Peter. And I think it was one of the other side of you, Matt, as well. I don't know if you can do. Sorry, what's your name?

Phil. Phil. Hi, Phil. I don't know if you can do derogatory terms or if you guys do. Well, we're about to find out. John gives me plenty, but that's normally off air. But if somebody's having a real mayor, we always used to use the phrase, he's got two left feet. He's got two left feet?

We'd probably wouldn't say that, would we? Anyway, who thinks we should include that, two left feet? Who thinks no? It's going one way this. Yeah. I'm afraid that's being given the... You're two left feet when you've suggested that one. So two good feet goes in.

Two good feet goes in, but two left feet. To be honest, when we're commentating on matches in the World Cup and the Champions League, it's not terribly likely, is it, that would say that somebody looks like they had two left feet. No, no. Any others? Oh, yeah, one on the far side. Oh, here we go. Hi, yeah.

My name's Tim. Hi, Tim. So I'm not sure if this one's already in, but everyone knows what it is. Route 1. Do you know, I don't think that's in there. It's not, no. How strange. We've got rasping for the ars.

We've got rasping shot. Red wine, not white wine. What? When did that get in? I don't remember that. That's part of your shopping list. Revegation six pointer, rooted at the bottom, Roy of the Rover stuff. Oh, yeah.

So who thinks Route 1 should be in? Yeah, that's the biggest thing. And does anyone think it shouldn't be in? No, there's the one dissenting voice, but I'm afraid. That was an excellent suggestion, that Route 1. Yes, and the red wine and white wine, and this was a very good one again. Do you remember? No, I don't.

Well, clearly not. This was, why is it always when managers talk about meeting the other manager after a match? It's always a glass of red wine. It's never a glass of white wine. What is it about white wine? I don't know. But anyway, it's in. Get closer to the action with live commentary

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And you finish bottom of the leaderboard. You only had three wins from 14. You don't need reminding, but you actually finished with 10 defeats in a row. I got 7 from 14 and Ali, the champion who couldn't be bothered to turn up today. 11 from 14. Yeah. Things took a terrible turn, didn't they, in Clash of the Commentators?

Yeah. I don't know what went wrong, but I'm very much rooted to the bottom of the table. Yeah. I know what went wrong. You lost too many. I know. I couldn't come up with any of the answers.

But now, we're going to welcome our producer, Nathan. This is the brains behind the whole thing. He does all the hard work on to say. He's going to help us for the proceedings for this special edition. That's very kind. Thank you very much. Round of applause for Ian Dennis and John Murray. Yeah.

Yeah. You haven't heard this. this yet. Yeah, so will it be jubilation for John or will Deno cause yet more devastation in Clash of the Commentators? Who's cheering for Ian Dennis? And for John Murray?

It's more like it. Definitely louder for the correspondent. Routing for the underdog, yeah. So here's how it works, Clash of the Commentators. I will give John and Ian a question and they will take turns to give as many correct answers as they can in the space of 30.

seconds. And it's a little bit like Mr. and Mrs. So one of the guys will go backstage while the other does their quiz and head to a kind of soundproof booth, if you like. So the big question, who would like to go first? Well, he's already taken his earpiece out. Ah, and... Tense is there. Yeah, he looked a little bit John Shuttleworth there, didn't he, didn't he? Yeah, local reference. So Ian Dennis has gone. So I think we are just about ready to go. Are you ready, John? I feel like I'm in mastermind. chairs the wrong colour i think for that um so the world tour john the tvv world tour has started here in sunny sheffield in south yorkshire so i want you to name as many yorkshire football teams in the top seven tiers top seven tiers as you can there are 1717 possible answers

across the northwest south yorkshire and east riding so yorkshire football teams in the top seven tiers, and your time starts now. Leeds United, Huddersfield Town, Sheffield United, Sheffield Wednesday, Hull City, Rotherham Barnsley, Tadcaster, Doncaster Rovers, Geisley, Grimsby Town, oh no, hang on, that's not Yorkshire,

do-da-l-l-l-l-oh. Oh gosh Bradford City I don't think it's quite enough Are you happy with that performance? Don't think it's quite enough Okay well we can let Ian Dennis back in Our senior football reporter

I've got an issue with this already There were, I can tell you a couple of wrong answers in there We'll come back to those Let's come back to those Yeah so welcome Ian Dennis back to back to to the stage. Ian, I think this will be a challenge for you. Yeah, just bear in mind

this is Ian who grew up in Yorkshire and is effectively an army. Sorry, it's effectively a Yorkshireman, really. And adopted Yorkshire, yeah, yeah. So Ian, are you ready? The Commentators of Your World Tour has started here in Sheffield, South Yorkshire. Yeah. I want you to name as many Yorkshire football teams in the top seven tiers as you can. There are 1717 possible answers across northwest, South Yorkshire and

East riding. So Yorkshire football teams. Seven tiers? In the top seven tiers of English football and your time starts now. Well, we'll start with Middlesbrough, that's controversial. York City, Bradford City, Halifax Town, Huddersfield Town, Leeds United, Rotherham, Barnsley, Sheffield, United whole city Harrogate Town 7 tears I can't think

would be the other ones Wow Did you say Middlesbrough? Okay The final scores John Murray 10 Ian Zennis

12 Oh boo The losing The losing run goes on Yes It does 11 defeats in a row

Tear oh tear So you both got the two Sheffield clubs Yes Which is a good start Tad Kaster and Grimsby were incorrect Didn't say Doncaster

Didn't say Doncaster from Dano, but all of your answers were correct, I think Ian, so well done. Thank you. Congratulations. Ian Dennis, the winner of Clash of the Commentate. Won by Yorkshire's Ian Dennis. So well... Says John Murray, who lives in Yorkshire.

And has done for many years. And who didn't say Harrogate Town. Did you not? No. Which he will not be forgetting. Right. We have some incredible emails, don't we, to this podcast, which come from all over the world. And actually, I must say, I find that the best part of it.

I certainly don't find Clash of the Commentators best part of it. But the emails, I love. Yeah, from places as far as Thailand, New Zealand, were big in America, supposedly. Scandinavia. Scandinavia. Very popular in Scandinavia. And Eastern Europe as well, strangely enough. You're big in Copenhagen, aren't you?

I am. Very big in Copenhagen and the Baltic generally. Actually, wherever he goes, he's quite, wait until he see him stand up. So today, instead of that, we're going to have some live interaction from the good people of Sheffield and the surrounding areas. So, this is like question time. We're going to go to Louise. Where's Louise?

Have you got your hand up? In fact, you see it down here at the front. Hello, Louise. Where are you from? I'm from in the middle of Derby and Nottingham. Okay. I'm a Derby fan. Very much the surrounding areas.

Definitely not a forest fan. We've made that clear. So what's your question, Louise? Well, my question actually was going to be, who's the trickiest football you've ever interviewed? But I thought, I'm not sure you'll answer that. I've got a couple of answers for that. So I've gone for who's the nicest,

but choose whichever question you want to answer. Okay. The trickiest was David O'Leary. Really didn't enjoy speaking with him. And that was in your local radio days, where you probably had to speak to him three times a week. Probably more than that, probably six times a week. Yeah.

It's funny, you know, with the persona of people on television and when you'd see certain people, they always, what a nice fella, say, Kennedy-Dow Gleach, people go, he must be really tricky. Kennedy-Dow Gleash was an absolute joy to deal with. The pleasure of dealing with him when he was at Newcastle United,

he'd phone you up, or his office would phone you up the day before, the sign so-and-so, Andres Anderson, come down the next day, do the interview on the proviso that you keep that, that interview back for 24 hours. There was a real trust that worked both ways. He was a joy to deal with. Paul Jewel as well was very, very good.

Got to say, Chris Wilder, when dealt with Chris, was absolutely top-notch. Can't believe that Sheffield United got rid of him. Really think that's a harsh sacking. But in answer to your question, David O'Leary was the trickiest. I find a few of the very modern players are actually quite tricky

in that I think we went through with Spell, which was great for us, where the young players were very, very media trained and we're on natural, almost natural broadcast, aren't they? The modern generation. But I think we're almost just sort of got to the end of that when some young players have realized that actually, if you want to keep yourself to yourself, you don't give much away. And so therefore, brilliant football, although he is, Cole Palmer is a very, very, very hard interview. And actually at the under 21, so I interviewed James McAtee, who was also, he went because he played here, didn't he? Who also was very much a man of few words. And nicest one,

easiest, brilliant to deal with by a mile, Garrette. Oh, dream. Yeah. Absolute dream. Yeah. So any other questions? So we've got Rory, I think. Thank you, Louise. Thank you for that question. Rory, where are you? Oh, you're just down here? Yes, second row. I've already seen Rory once today. Yes, he's not going to ask for your autograph again, isn't it? It was a selfie, actually.

Rory, come on, let's have your question. I'd just like to know if you've got any memories of commentating at both Bramwell Lane and Hillsborough and which is the best gantry to operate out of or if they're both terrible, which I imagine they probably are. I've got one from Hillsborough. Last year in, was it last year or the year before, the FA Cup, when Newcastle came to play Sheffield Wednesday,

that was a terrific match. And also what I remember about that day was Chris Waddell was our summariser. And I mean, I know how popular Chris is with Sheffield Wednesday supporters, obviously came through at Newcastle. And I've been to Marseille with Chris, where he is absolutely adored. That is an incredible experience going to Marseille with Chris. However, that day for Sheffield Wednesday, Newcastle, it was honestly, it was like walking in with Elvis Presley.

It was amazing. Brable Lane, have you got to Bremer Lane? Well, Bramle Lane's changed it, but we used to be actually on the top gantry, and you were, you had to actually stand up there because of the way that the bars ran in front of the gantry, and it was quite an awkward position to deal with as well, and the Wi-Fi didn't tend to work very well up there either. So I'm pleased now that the back in the press box, a little bit lower down in the main stand. We are now looking for a show of hands. Well, there's one right down here at the front. Sorry, what's your name? Sarah from Coventry.

Hi, Sarah. So my question is, how has it decided who gets which matches? And are you ever jealous of either each other or the rest of the guys as to which matches you've been awarded? Thank you. I think Hare Chapman decides, doesn't he? He'd like to decide. No, Sarah, John, as correspondent,

will always have first dibs. and then we pick up the scraps after that. Fortunately, there's enough to go around, and long may that continue. But of course, you'll always do the 3 o'clock match on a Saturday afternoon. So I always do the 3 o'clock, which means I do the scores as well as the commentary.

So regardless of the weekend, I know I'm always doing the 3 o'clock. Occasionally I'll do a Sunday one if John's on holiday. I think we've got time for one more question. There we are, and what's that the fourth, fifth row? What's your name? Hi, I'm John.

Hello, John. From Sheffield. There's clearly a lot of preparation into what you do. So if you ever have to fill, I imagine there's a wealth of information that you could probably use to fill a little bit of time. I just wondered if there was anything that came so out of the blue, which, you know, something tragic, you know,

like Fabrice Mowamba, who thankfully survived, you know, his heart attack on the pitch. You know, how do you prepare for something so unexpected like that? Is there like a backup plan that you kind of, you know, Sky or the TV may be able to cut to adverts, but obviously you guys on the radio, how do you deal with something so unexpected like that and, you know, kind of react to it and deal with it? Well, I did the commentary on Fabrice Mow Amber when he had the cardiac arrest. They were playing Bolton at Whiteheart Lane.

And I was working with David Pleat and it was quite clear that there was something wrong. and equally with our training you're told always to advise a little bit of caution first of all but it was quite clear that we were commentating on the medics trying to save him where he was fighting for his life and it's a little bit I always say commentary is a little bit like catchphrase and Roy Walker you say what you see and that day myself and David were commentating on his resuscitation on the pitch. It's something I'll never forget. And to be honest with you,

things like that, nothing can prepare you for it, but you've just got to try and describe the mood in the stadium, what's going on in front of you. There's always something happening. Part of my commentary training, I was taken down by the banks

of the River Tyne in Newcastle, and this guy called Laurie Bloomfield just said, right, commentate. I said, on what? He said, just commentate. And I had to commentate for a minute. And then another technique, that I still do is to this day if you drive past me I think he's talking to himself

I commentate on what I see and every time I say er I stop and start again so I'm driving down the road I've got a lamppost on the right got a park car red park car on the left da da da da da and every time I say uh and it just gives you know an ability just to talk because you know that's what we this has been a bit unusual today is having a script but we don't we don't work off scripts when we're doing a commentary but for that case with Fabrice Muamber, we just had to basically describe what we were seeing until we got the word from the studio that, okay, we're handing back now. But I mean, we are, we might be football commentators,

but we are journalistically trained, aren't we? And all of the experience that we've built up over the years, I think does help you to deal with incidents that happen that you aren't expecting. But that is the nature of football commentary, and I think you go to any match, actually, in the back of your mind, thinking that absolutely anything could happen and you've got to deal with it.

And that is it. A massive thank you to everyone for turning up to see us. We appreciate it very much, don't we? Yeah, we do. Thank you very much for your time. Really appreciate that. You can find each and every episode of the commentator's view on the Football Daily Feed on BBC Sounds.

From my very first game, I knew that I wanted to be a goalkeeper, the buzz and the adrenaline that I got from it. The dream was to always represent my country. Mary Earbs, desperate to impress. I remember saying, I know I've got what it takes. from us. You have to be obsessed. Mary arms with a super save.

You just look at some of the saves that she makes. Not everyone can do that. I really had no idea really how far I would go. The England is around down at the day. It felt like my world was ending. That was the moment that was in pieces on the kitchen floor. You have to hit rock bottom to understand what you really want. Mary would put herself in front of anything and feel like she could stop it.

I've done something that I'd always dreamed of doing that I never knew if I'd get the opportunity to do. the opportunity to do. Mary Earbs, Queen of Stops. Watch on BBCI Player.