Football Daily - The Commentators' View: Xmas bingo & different gravy

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball discuss what it’s like being a commentator at Christmas. They look ahead to the festive schedule, Ian aims to stretch his lead in Clash of the Commentators, there are more unintended pub and film names, and which commentary phrases will end up in our Great Glossary? Suggestions welcome on WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369 & emails to [e-mail]00:40 What is Christmas like for commentators? 03:25 Is it right to play at 8pm on Boxing Day? 05:10 John gets wet at Newcastle 07:40 Christmas commentary bingo 12:30 John’s special treatment in Madrid 17:15 Commentary highlights this festive period 19:10 Unintended pub names & film titles 30:20 Clash of the Commentators 37:15 Great Glossary of Football Commentary5 Live / BBC Sounds Premier League commentaries: Sat 20 Dec 1500 Man City v West Ham, Sat 20 Dec 1500 Brighton v Sunderland on Sports Extra, Sat 20 Dec 1730 Tottenham v Liverpool, Sun 21 Dec 1330 Hearts v Rangers, Sun 21 Dec 1630 Aston Villa v Man Utd, Tue 23 Dec 2000 Arsenal v Palace in EFL Cup QF.Great Glossary of Football Commentary:DIVISION ONE Blaze over the bar, Bosman, Cruyff Turn, Dead-ball specialist, Fox in the box, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Head tennis, Hibs it, In a good moment, The Maradona, Off their line, Olimpico, Onion bag, Panenka, Perfect hat-trick, Rabona, Schmeichel-style, Scorpion kick, Spursy, Tiki-taka, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep. DIVISION TWO Ball stays hit, Beaten all ends up, Business end, Came down with snow on it, Catching practice, Camped in the opposition half, Cauldron atmosphere Coat is on a shoogly peg, Come back to haunt them, Corridor of uncertainty, Couldn’t sort their feet out, Easy tap-in, Daisy-cutter, First cab off the rank, Good leave, Half-turn, Has that in his locker, High wide and not very handsome, Hospital pass, Howler, In their pocket, Johnny on the spot, Leading the line, Nice headache to have, Nutmeg, One for the cameras, One for the purists, Played us off the park, Points to the spot, Purple patch, Put their laces through it, Reaches for their pocket, Rolls Royce, Root and branch review, Row Z, Screamer, Seats on the plane, Show across the bows, Slide-rule pass, Steal a march, Stramash, Taking one for the team, Telegraphed that pass, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike, Walk it in.

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the UK. The Commentator's View on the Football Daily with Alistair Bruce Ball, John Murray and Ian Dennis. Hello, welcome to the Football Daily. I'm Ian Dennis, and this is The Commentator's View where we five live commentators talk through our adventures and the language around the beautiful game and also a little bit of football as well. Less than a week to go to Christmas. Are you both primed for the big day? I don't know whether I'd go that far We've got my brother and his lot coming around in So we've got a house full of 12 And as you'll well know

You'll both well know Christmas prep is all about getting ready for that Obviously the home stuff and the family stuff But also making sure all your notes are in order For the games that you've got to come Because there's no chance I'm doing any prep For a commentary on Boxing Day That's just not going to happen

So it needs to get done before that So preparation is key Mr Murray Well I put my hand up and said that I would commentate on the Arsenal Crystal Palace tie, which is on the 23rd. And I hadn't really got my head around the fact that it was the 23rd. So that means Christmas Eve, i.e. the 24th, is going to be a bit of a dash for me. I've got to be honest, when you put your hand up for that game on the 23rd, I was most relieved.

And it's so normally, when people say, what's it like to be a commentator at Christmas, you're thinking, well, you're you've got to do a game on Boxing Day, but to get Boxing Day off and New Year's Day off is a double bonus this year. That is an interesting one, isn't it, Ian? Because a lot of people I speak to football fans are obviously disappointed that there isn't more Premier League football, you know, a full program on Boxing Day afternoon this year,

which is unusual. And selfishly, I think that's the first boxing day. I will be off for two decades. I think it's like 20 years. Is that right? Honestly. I've absolutely. I'm delighted. I've done that. I've been in exactly that position in that I work Boxing Day year after year for probably decade after decade.

But in this current radio rights deal, Five Live does not have commentaries on Boxing Day. So therefore, a couple of years ago was the first time I hadn't worked on a boxing day. And I have to say, I mean, we love what we do, but it was one of those occasions where I'm, I thought, I've worked Boxing Day, year in, year out for all of these years. And this feels like an absolute luxury not working on Boxing Day. But it's that thing, isn't it, of being able to relax a little bit more on Christmas Day. Because on Christmas Day, otherwise, you know, going into the evening when obviously, you know, the leftovers are coming out and the cheese is coming out and all of that, you're already thinking about Sunderland against Leeds or, you know, or whatever it might be.

And actually the last couple of years, unusually, like you said, say, John, on Boxing Day, we've not had the commentary rights, but I've gone to the 3 o'clock game that Ian would normally be at. Yeah. And I've presented from 3 till 5 and doing the slightly odd thing of sitting in front of a game, you're not allowed to describe

because we can't do too much commentary on it and sort of bouncing around the grounds. And so you're actually having to hold yourself back from doing the job that you normally do. But there is a game on. There is a Premier League game. Well, there is, as I'm well aware, having covered Newcastle's last couple of matches,

Each time, I've thought, for boxing day, eight o'clock kickoff at Manchester United. And I know that this is going over old ground, but the closer we've got to it, I've thought, I know when you're at that match as a spectatorian, you're not going to miss it, you know, if you're a died-in-the-world supporter of Manchester United

or Newcastle United. And once you're there, you're there, aren't you? And you'll enjoy it for what it is. But it just doesn't seem right to me to have a match kicking off at that time. time for a whole variety of reasons, not least, really, you should be with your family, shouldn't you? But also, on a boxing day night.

After all that hoo-haer about, oh, there's no Premier League games on Boxing Day, I was thinking, well, there is life outside the Premier League. There is a full programme of football league games. And, you know, just stick to tradition. Keep the games at 3 o'clock. It's bad enough as a travelling supporter anyway, trying to get yourself around the country without the added hassle of trying to get there on a boxing day for an 8 o'clock kickoff.

Ian, I've said this before, but it's worth seeing again because this is the time of year. On the final day of the season, it's all right, isn't it, for all Premier League matches to kick off at the same time? Would it really be harmful for one other day, i.e. boxing day,

for all of the Premier League matches to kick off at 3 o'clock on that day? Agreed. Should say as well, make sure you stick the radio on on boxing. whatever you're doing because the football you're talking about here and it's it's around the grounds for five live in the eFL with all that football going on which which will be a great listen it will be extremely busy it certainly will as has this week for john and have you

dried out john because if the listeners don't know when you're at newcastle united and it rains our position is low down you tend to get wet yeah well do you know what unless i'm very much mistaken because you were at Manchester City Brentford that night which was a 7.30 kickoff. I was at Newcastle against Fulham which was an 8.15 kickoff and when I spoke to our football

editor Ross, I said to me that was very much a toss up and I said, you know, I'm very open-minded and I said what would you want to do? What would Ian want to do? And rather surprisingly you chose Manchester City, I thought. I thought you'd choose Newcastle.

And when I got there on the night, and it was a sort of dank, rainy night, I thought, I know exactly why he's chosen Manchester City because of the fact that match was being played in the middle of December, and there was every chance we might get wet. Well, the way it was presented to me is that I was more or less encouraged to do Manchester City. Okay. Otherwise, I would have definitely opted for Newcastle. Okay.

Because I thought you'd chosen it for weather reasons and the fact that it was an earlier kickoff. No. So I didn't get any choice at all and got sent to Cardiff on the Tuesday night. That's true. And it was closer to me than you two. So I did Cardiff Chelsea, which I really enjoyed because there's been a lot said about Cardiff this season

and the football they're playing. And they were excellent. And I got to commentate one of my favorite goals this season because I don't think there's anything better than a diving header. And G on the right-hand side, crosses with his left foot. Good ball! My goal. Cardiff have equalised David Turnbull with the diving header. Listen to the noise inside the Cardiff City Stadium.

David Turnbull's diving header for Cardiff that got them back in the game and the stadium, a packed Cardiff City Stadium, which has not been for a Cardiff game since they're in the Premier League. It was a brilliant goal. That's a great one. I really enjoyed that. Ali, I know we say this sometimes, but for people who only listen to the podcast,

If you're a Cardiff City fan and maybe that was the first match that you went to, that is a great one to go back. And even though they lost the match, that's actually a really good one that you could go back, BBC Sounds app, stations and schedules, find the day, find the time,

and listen back to the commentary again. Because I listened to it all that night and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Yeah, I really enjoyed it. And also, Danny Gabidon. Well, the powers that be of the Five Live social team have been up to a little bit of Christmas mischief, have they not, Ali?

Yeah, and you were far sharper than I was. So on Tuesday night, basically the social media team, unbeknownst to me and Ian, and I saw something going on before kickoff, I should have put two and two together, but Callum was there from our social media team, and he basically said, and he and Danny, Danny Gabedon

were in caho before the game. They were in conversation, they were sort of chuckles and mirth going on. And then Danny came over and did the game, and started to lob these sort of festive phrases into the comment All is merry and well with his Cardiff City team. I mean, I have to say, you know, it's been a long time coming.

Casedo up against young Joe Carlwell. Cicado, he's like the Grinch in that midfield area. Disruptor. It's a really smart finish, low across Nathan Trott, an absolute Christmas gift there. Christmas present, given to Chelsea. No room at the inn there. In the end for Gusto, I think it was, who found himself in the centre forward position going in on goal. As you mentioned, ABB, the quality that Chelsea have, the money that they spent.

this city, Scrooge-like in comparison. You've got Scrooge and the Grinching tonight. Are you having a little game tonight, Danny? You're trying to get as many in as you can? Quite possibly are you after? I busted him late on. So that was their game. See how many you can get in, play the Christmas bingo

before the commentator latches on. And a couple of them, but Danny did them quite subtly, and I thought his phrases were quite subtle. So a couple I obviously heard, but I thought, well, that fits with the season. And, you know, if you don't mind the odd festive gag, that's fine. There was one in the second half when he said something about there being

no room at the inn. And I thought, what's going on? Like, but I didn't say anything. And it wasn't until right at the end where he talked about Scrooge and he'd already talked about the Grinch. And I thought, no, no, no. Something's going on here. But I got it in the 91st minute where you were on to it in about the fifth minute. It was very funny when you clocked it. But there again, you see, Ian clocked it straight away the next night. But it had They'd done it the, you'd done it the previous night. Yeah. What was, I can I remember what Leon's first one was you picked up on?

But once you got him, he carried on playing the game anyway. The one I really enjoyed was when the goal went in and in the celebrations, Leon said they were joyful and triumphant. I thought that was his first one. That was just brilliant. Well, that was the one was here. Absolutely. Joyful and triumphant. What a wonderful finish that was right into the top corner. And by the way, any more Christmas puns from you, you're going to be left home alone.

I thought that was so good. Danny was very good. But commentators and pundits do use those phrases at this time of year. So I felt it might have been slightly rude to go, come on, Dan, that's a bit cheesy. You know what you, you know, but it just got too obvious at the end. There was just too many of them. I have to confess, when Nick Volta mater headed the ball into the Sunderland net last Sunday, I did go with a Christmas has come early for Sunderland supporter.

Well, Joseph from Palmer's Green has been in touch. Dear Ali, John and Ian, I was wondering what it is, With Conor McNamara and Old Trafford, again, an absolutely mad match and his commentary equally chaotic, but brilliant, like a Jackson Pollock painting. Probably best for him to get his blood pressure checked, wishing you all at TCV and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from myself, Ruben and Lottie. Because he was doing the Manchester United Bournemouth game for match of the day, and it was that year, was it the Leon game last year? Yes. Yes. He's a goal magnet.

When McGuire scored late, didn't he? Connor went through the roof as you were because everyone in the stadium did and the voice sort of wobbled a bit. Yes, and they got the Shetmates treatment, of course, famously. How it did. By the way, on social media, yeah, what a game. I've quite enjoyed that email from Joseph.

He's actually written that like a Christmas card, hasn't he? So it finishes off. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from myself, Ruben and Lottie. It's included the whole family. Merry Christmas. And I can tell you, Joseph, that I will be seeing Colin McNamara over the course of the next couple of days. So I will find out if indeed he has had his blood pressure checked. And the reason for that for Ruben and Lottie being on the card, as you say, John,

is because Ruben and Lottie have appeared on the pod. So a very Merry Christmas to them all. Yes, so Merry Christmas to Joseph, Ruben and Lottie from John, Ian and Ali. And not just to Joseph, Ruben and Lottie, to everybody who listens for what. is our 51st episode of the TCV. Last week, obviously Ian and I, well then we raised our bats at the pavilion because obviously reached the 50

and, you know, warm applause around the ground and unbroken partnership and all that. But John, you've not been on the pod, have you? On the comment at his view, I think since you came back from Washington, but you've been to Madrid since as well. Yes, because we recorded the podcast in Washington on the day before the World Cup draw.

So that was quite an event with the snow and everything. And that was, I couldn't believe it. When I opened my curtains in Washington, D.C., on the morning of the draw, it was like a blizzard outside. There was snow on the ground in Washington. It made it incredibly atmospheric. And there was a lot went on that day.

That was a very, very, very long day. But Madrid, when Manchester City won against, there was an awful lot going around, Rail Madrid. I mean, that was extraordinary to step into Madrid, that sort of Rail Madrid, media bubble and the intense scrutiny there was on Shabby Alonzo. And, you know, if you'd said to me then, would he still be in the job when we were recording this? I was absolutely not.

It looks as he was nailed on certain to lose the job. Anyway, he's still there. However, there's a little bar which is very well placed outside the Burnabow. And I've been going into that bar after Rail Madrid matches because they do ham on. It's ham on, isn't it? that they slice for you freshly with the sliced bread salami. They do that in there brilliantly, and it's a couple who own that bar.

And they must now be, well, certainly well into their 60s. And they don't speak much English. But I've been going in there now probably for decades. And it's just a tiny little bar, but it's very cozy. And there are tables sort of dotted around on this couple at the back. But it's always very busy, obviously, after a rail. Madrid match. And whichever commentary team I've gone there, almost always, I've gone in

there with them. And not really said a great deal because they don't speak much English, I don't speak much Spanish, but there's always a bit of a nod and a wink. Anyway, on this day, we go in there. I went in first, looked up, here he is, the bartman, behind the bar and it's quite busy. Quite a few Manchester City, Rail Madrid fans in.

And I'm thinking, hmm, we're going to have to stand up here. He saw me, clot me, winked, and he said, round the corner. I'm thinking what? I look at, and round the corner, there's a table with reserved on it. We're reserved thing. Nobody's sitting at it. And his wife is there and ushers us around to sit in this table. I don't know their names.

But as I say, it's just that thing building up recognition over the years. Since they saw me come in, they wave us round. We have a little table and we have the hammon and the bread and the salami as well they brought in, brought around. Little glass of red. There must have been Real Madrid games, John, that you've obviously not done. Exactly. And they probably would have expected your presence. So imagine that table's probably sat there a few times.

And there'd be a real sort of sinking feeling when this giant figure doesn't come through the door. It's sort of 1130 at night. Exactly. And they've got a little bit of Spanish basil and Sybil about them, the two of them. There's a little bit of, there's a little bit. And I can just imagine those scenarios. Maybe one saying to the other, well, he hasn't come. tonight he hasn't come and we've left a table free have you not thought about getting

their numbers so you can let them know when you are going well i don't need to it would appear oh it's the fun for them isn't it the fixture comes around they just don't know i mean this is well exactly on a night like that yeah yeah fun yeah also that reminds me because you have not been on for about a fortnight ali i was thinking about what john was saying about the italian greyhound and you probably know this player um He played for Brighton, and I can't for the life of me think he was, was he a little winger? I thought someone, I thought someone emailed, I thought someone emailed about him. Emailed or emailed?

I thought someone emailed in about him. Was it not Shalotta? Oh, so you have been rumbled. No, no, it was. No, he's seen the emails. I saw the email. No. Yeah, so that we had a little gag going there, John.

We thought, obviously, you wouldn't have listened to the pod. and then we read that email out last week and one of us was going to pluck Ezekiel Scolto from nowhere and you'd have been wowed at our knowledge but he's read the blooming emails I read the script I read the script

good try Denno I'd completely forgotten about that very good hoist very much right thwarted dashed you can send your WhatsApps and your voice notes

to 08000 28939369 your emails to TCV at BBC dot go. UK. The Five Live commentaries coming up. I mean, there is such a long list. A whole sleighful of Christmas commentaries for you on Five Live Sports Extra on the BBC Sounds app. We're not going to run through them all, but we'll just pick out some highlights. So John Alley, do you want to go first? After you commentates, Ian, on Manchester City West Ham at 3 o'clock on Saturday, see? I will be at Tottenham for the match against Liverpool with Andy Reid. So that's the

5.30 kickoff on Saturday. And because you've already mentioned it, on the 23rd, you'll be joined by Glenmarie. I will for the Arsenal Crystal Palace match to find out the final one of the quarter-finalists. To find out Chelsea's opponents, actually, in the semi-finals. I'm looking forward to my game on Sunday, Aston Villa against Manchester United, given the form that Villa are in, and obviously given what we've just said about Manchester United at the moment,

I mean, still have no idea what's coming. But what will be interesting there, won't it, is that they've now lost Ahmad and Bumo. So that will be a different-looking Manchester United and to see how they cope without those two. Because they are, they're looking potent at the moment. I know Chesh goes back and Cooney is there and Bruno Fernandez is, you know, is playing slightly further advanced and sort of relishing that role. But I, and that's the only Premier League commentary we have on Sunday because we've got Hart's Rangers, haven't we, on Sunday before that.

But Villar Manchester United, there's just. something, that's also one of those fixtures for me that, it's just the name of it, just Villa Manchester United at Villa Park. It does, it does, it's exciting that. Yeah, and looking into the New Year, Celtic Rangers, Connor and Pat Nettin, the way Celtic are going, they could have a new manager by then. Entirely possible. That's an incredible story, isn't it? And I mean, by the time this, by the time this actually is available to listen to, things could have changed. One of the unintended pub names, was it the beleaguered manager? Yeah, political manager.

Yeah, well, that would be apt to be drinking in there at the minute in the east end of Glasgow. Yeah. Which takes us gone quite nicely, too, the unintended pub names because so many have been coming in, so thank you for keep doing that on the 08,000, 289-369, and the emails, TCV at BBC.co.com. Last week's highlights were the fidgeting smith,

the menacing shark teeth, and the Calvert-Lewin pirouet. but Phil from Radcliffe says Love listening to the podcast, thank you when you had the pirouetting Calvert Lewin there was another unintended pub name in the same clip

All I would say is that the Calvert Lewin pirouet foxed the Manchester City Defenders who presented it back towards the England International and he needed no second invitation The England International I can't tell you much about this particular establishment

except that Chris Sutton would refuse to have a drink there. Well, he is in England International. What did he get? 9, 12 minutes, something like that?

Yeah. Well, he's still in England international. Yeah, absolutely. But then he famously refused to never play for England again. Yeah, he was put in the B team,

wasn't he, by Glenn Hoddle. They had a B team so that Glenn Hoddle could have a look at a few and Chris decided that the B team wasn't for him, I think. Yeah. I think possibly regrets that a little bit.

But also the striking competition he was up against in that era for England. I mean, now, you know, Harry Kane, it's Harry Kane, isn't it? They're struggling for a backup, Harry Kane. Then, blimey. I mean, Shearer Cole, Sherringham.

Ian Wright. They should be tripping off my tongue. Fowler, yeah, right. Exactly, yeah. Who? I would, if I was the... Ian Rush. Ian Wright.

He'd have said he rushed. If I was the bar owner of the England International, I would gladly bar Chris Sutton from entry. Not tonight, you're not coming in. I thought you... No, you let him in for 12 minutes. You let him in for 12 minutes, Denner. sort of guess.

I thought you always got upset about pubs that bar people. And now you're barring Chris Sutton. You're buying our friend, Chris Sutton. Who said he was my friend? Well, speaking of Chris, Steve in Musselboro says, Hi, All, he has one from Chris Sutton in the Liverpool-Brighton game. It was a battle of the Gomez.

The Gomez is. Diego and Joe on that far side. Can you say that? Can you say Gomez is? Gomez's. The galloping Liverpool Gomez gets to the byline, pulls it back and shot rush from Eckertique, but good from Joe Gomez. The galloping Gomez and the galloping Joe and the dithering Diego. Yes, yeah.

There's a whole rash of them there. You see, you could have a chain there of the galloping Gomez. You could have one in Liverpool and one in Hove. It makes me think, do you remember the galloping gourmet? Are you old enough to remember the Gallup and Gourmet? No, I'm not old enough. No. It was a New Zealand chef, and he had a program on the television called the Gallup and Gourmet.

Because he cooked on a horse. No, I don't know why I was known as the Gallup and Gourmet. He didn't cook a horse. He cooked on the horse. I don't think any horses were harmed during the making of the Gallup and Gourmet. Buki in Essex has also picked. picked up on the galloping Gomez, the galloping Joe, and he says, the Galloping Joe conjures images of gentrified customers dismounting their horses

before entering the establishment. We've come very horsey, haven't we, all of a sudden? Yeah, we have, we have. Next one up is a voice note, so those come in on 08,289-369, and this one is from John in Newcastle. Your very own Connor McNamara came up with the most excellent unintended pub name in his match of the day, of Man United in Bournemouth.

Give it away, Bruno Fernandez, in the midfield. This is the hard-running Tavenir. Clifitz to his left-hand side if he sees him. Tavanier goes down. The foul by Casamiro. The hard-running Tavenir. Not only is it belt for its own right,

but the player in question lends himself so beautifully to a pub name, his surname being so close to Tavern. I imagine a homely oak-panelled establishment full of hunting trophies and red leather. The hard-running element also brings to mind an old-fashioned coach house, where travellers once stopped for nights, after a long

carriage ride on the highways to change horses and feast on whole suckling pig, eaten off daggers, while quaffing wine from goblets poured directly from the barrel. Keep up the good work. I'm proud of this one, so I do hope it'll make it on the air. Cheers, guys. And rightly so, you should be proud of that, John. Yeah, very good.

Like that a lot. The homely tavernier. Dudley Mike, hi-chaps, Bill Leslie, referred to the strikers' armoury while commentating on the Brentford Leeds game. great podcast keep up the good work the striker's armoury makes me think of was that pub that we went into in Shrewsbury

was that called the armoury on the occasion of your why is it your golden duck all roads seem to lead to Shrewsbury on this pot and they do once every three weeks I saw the Shrewsbury golden duck

should be that's where we should have gone the Shrewsbury the Shrewsbury first baller I saw Tim Peach, one of our producers, the other day, who made 50 that day. I think he came in after me. So I think I faced the last ball of that bowler

who cleaned me up and then they bought on some dross and Tim Peach smashed it everywhere and never fails to remind me that I got a first baller while he made a load of runs. I'll tell you who would be a great guest for us. And we've never mentioned this before. The bowler who bowled you out? Wouldn't that be brilliant?

If we could track him down. I mean, surely that bowler must have had it brought to his attention that we keep talking about his magnificent inswinger that took out your leg stumped. Yeah, I might skip that episode. That'd be a lovely Christmas surprise, wouldn't it, if we were able to get him on in the new year. That shivers down my spine, John.

Derek in the West Midlands brings us to probably the most festive-themed clip of the pod. Derek says, I think I've got an early and very apt contender for unintended movie titles So this is a new thing Unintended movie titles This comes from the Burnley-Fulham commentary With Mike Mainey and Michael Brown

What'll happen next? You feel like I don't want to say it, there's got to be more goals, surely That's it, you can stop listening now Michael Brown's just killed the rest of that game off With the Curse of the Commentator Fullum leading by two goals to one A few Christmas hats and Santa hats Around turf more

of claret colour of course with the Burnley badge on it our engineer Nat brought the Christmas cheer as well tinsel decorating her mixer desk very festive you feeling in the mood yet Brownie always mate Christmas tree was up early November mate was it yeah ready to go is Robinson I just wonder which heated item you've requested for Christmas this year you've got the set gloves hat Gila I've got a few bits I like the

portable heater at the moment that's the one underneath your feet that's the way forward in commentary well things need to hot up here for Burnley so Derek says the curse of the commentator definitely sounds like an old school hammer horror movie starring Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee yeah written like that rather than the commentator's curse the curse of the commentator I agree and you know going back to to Danny Gabidon and Leon Osmond sort of forcing festivities into the commentaries recently there was plenty in there wasn't there Mike Mining had a, well, there were Christmas hats going on, Christmas presents. Engineer Nat, have you seen that the tinsel on the, have you worked with Nat in Christmas time?

Is that? Is that lights and tinsel? No, it was Sunderland. On Sunday, our engineer O'Ine brought fairy lights along. And he decorated the commentary desk with fairy lights. Yeah, I was with O'I and he did the same on Wednesday, Manchester City. There we are then. So if you spot an unintended pub or film name in any sport commentary, do let us know. TCV at BBC.com.com.com.com. 269.

And now it is time for Clash of the Commentators. That could be a film. It could. But before that, a message from Tom in Canada after Ian beat Ali last week. He says, love the show and enjoy it hugely out here on my rainy Vancouver dog walk. I enjoyed listening to the most recent clash of the commentators, but I hope for Ali's sake that Chris Sutton wasn't listening, as I think this is maybe the kind of thing he'd quite enjoy.

While it was a very solid performance naming the players who played in the 2023 Manchester City versus Real Madrid game, I couldn't help but notice that Ali basically started celebrating before crossing the finishing line by proclaiming confidently not once but twice that'll do with a few seconds to go What about Man City's midfield Rodry That'll do

That'll do Tom says I'm not sure that Kevin Debruner Tony Crose or Luca Modrich would agree And Connor McNamara certainly didn't As he duly proved that Ali I am sorry That won't quite do at all

It made me think of an unintended pub name where Ali would surely be a very happy local propping up the bar the smug Bruce Ball Merry Christmas to you all Keep up the good work If I am allowed to defend myself at all there I didn't think I had enough to win

But whenever we play these games I just want to get enough on the board That I don't embarrass myself So that that'll do, that'll do was I can't think of any more Rail Madrid players Let's fill the air time I know this won't beat Deno I think I had 11

I mean I wasn't that disappointed with that But Deno right at the end Snuck in Rodrigo and Venetius who were the two I was scrambling for and I couldn't get them, but it might have come across as though I'd, I thought I'd, I thought I'd, I thought I'd done it, which I very much hadn't. John, which is why I need you to win today. My name's Steve Bradnell, a sister manager of Royal Oak FC. You may have seen me online with Vinyl. Vinyl sensation.

And now, the BBC have given me the chance to set the footballing world banter rights. This could be a great opportunity for us, lads, a podcast for the BBC. I just say, what's the podcast? Brilliant. Great start. Well done, Bob. Brilliant. We can completely show utter transparency to Royal Oak fans.

I'll use my charm. Gift it, Gab. Games gone. The Steve Bracknell podcast. Watch on YouTube. Listen on BBC Sounds. It's 5.23 p.m. One of your kids is asking for a snack.

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Yeah. And if John wins this, if John wins this, he would go to four wins from 10. I'm on four from 10 and Denno's on seven from nine. So we're deno, I mean, eight from 10 would be remarkable for Denno. But I think seven from 10 with us two on four, John, just there's just that little doubt will niggle away, won't it, at Denno? If I got eight from 10, I'd be the cuts. whiskers. Right, for those who've not listened to the pod before, Clash of the Commentators is two of us.

So this week it's Ian against John. Take turns to answer a question. There's a category given and you've got to give as many correct answers as you can in 30 seconds. While the first player goes, the other one unplugged so they can't hear the answers given. So today, Ian against John, who is going to throw first? Well, it will have to be me who goes first because I'm. I am at London's broadcasting house. Okay, right.

I will unplug it. You can't unplug. I'd have to get a whole team of engineers into an... Okay. He's already gone. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone.

He's keen to get on with things this morning, I think. I think he is. Yeah, I get that. Ready to go. The category, John, today is teams to have been top or bottom of the Premier League at Christmas. And to really make you think we're going to do minus points for any incorrect answers. Also, don't be put off by today's festive countdown music.

So here we go. So any teams that have been top or bottom of the Premier League at Christmas? At Christmas. But incorrect answer, you'll lose a point, okay? Okay. So, John, your time, festively starts now. Arsenal, Aston Villa, Chelsea, Crystal Palace probably have

Bournemouth Everton probably have One way or the other Fulham Manchester United, Manchester City Newcastle, Nottingham Forest, Middlesbrough Norwich

Oh, that's it? That's it. The music's just Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay, John, that was a roller coaster ride because you sort of got a couple of early correct, then you've knocked a couple off your school with a couple of incorrect. Really? No, and then you've gone strong again.

So, Arsenal correct, Villa correct, Chelsea correct, that's three. Palace, incorrect. So you go down to two. I thought they'd have been bottom. Bournemouth, incorrect. You go down to one. Surely Bournemouth had been bottom at Christmas. Although in saying that, they haven't had many seasons

in the Premier League, have they? Everton Incorrect. you've undone all your good work and gone back to naught so we'll start again. Fulham. Fulham correct. Manchester United correct.

Manchester City correct. Newcastle correct. Nottingham Forest, correct. So you're up to five but you cost yourself three points and it doesn't look like Norwich's counting. Oh, come on. Norwich was inside the time. If Norwich is inside the time, you've got six.

If it's not, you've got five. Let's get Deno back in because he'll fall asleep otherwise. I've got... Okay. Nathan, decide on that. Let's give Denner away. Well, I think we should be putting pressure on Nathan to let that

through. This could be crucial for the future of Clash of the Comments. You could. Hello, hello. Okay. A bit of controversy, rumbling after John's go, so there's something still to be sorted there. Don't let that put you off. So, your category today is teams that have been top or

bottom of the Premier League at Christmas. But to really make you think it's minus points for any incorrect answers. Okay? Right. Okay. And also, as I said to John, slightly different countdown bed underneath you today. Don't be put off by it. You're all really furiously scribbing on.

So I'm going to have to say, Deno, your time starts now. West Brom, Derby County, Sunderland, Sheffield United, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United. Arsenal. There you go. Done.

Got the music now. Understand that. Right. Ian gave fewer answers than John. The question is, did you give more correct answers, though? You said West Brom, which is correct. Bottom.

Derby, you said, that is also correct. Sunderland, you said, that is also correct. That's a good start. Three from your first three, John, by the way, Ian, was on three from three. He then gave three incorrect answers to take his score back to naught. So he had to start all over again. You then said, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United and Arsenal. That is solid, solid, middle of the bat.

Those are scoring runs. And I'm just hearing, by the way, Sheffield United was a correct answer. So that is a full house for Ian Dennis. That is eight out of eight. Oh, hang on. John's score's gone down too. So I thought John was on five or six because we were wondering whether Norwich had got in before the time

But John, oh no No Drama here, drama Before you said Norwich you said Middlesbrough John and Middlesbrough is incorrect So your score actually went down to four And you didn't say Norwich in time either Your score stays four

He's 8 from 10 He's the Cat's Whiskers well played Well played in you've had a shocker there John Middlesbrough not in bottom of the Premier League at Christmas No I know It's another massive win for Ian Dennis So he is top of the leaderboard

8 wins from 10 games John 3 from 10 me 4 from 10 And Ian Dennis has ruined it for the nation Yeah he has It's a massive win but it is an unpopular win It's a comprehensive win But unpopular Here's a little one for you chaps

Premier League teams Who were bottom at Christmas Who stayed up There's four of them West Brom were the first weren't they That's correct. The other ones I've got here are Sunderland, Lester, 14, 15, so the year, the year before they won the title. They were bottom at Christmas and survived. And then Wolves, another famous one, John, Wolves 22, 23. So, I mean, basically, you've killed Clash of the Commentators today.

Well, I haven't. I can't help it for the failings of you to. You've killed it. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are bottom at Christmas, John. Now on to our great. Glossary of Football Commentary, where we add listener suggestions of commentary terms and phrases to our collection. Remember, Division 1 for football exclusive terms, division 2 for terms used in football commentary, but also used in other sports. And Matt from Presswick, the great glossary is one of my favourite segments, but for some reason, I've inexplicably missed the fact you publish it every week in the podcast description on BBC sounds, face palm emoji. But now that I've seen it, it got me thinking, and I wondered if, blazed over the bar would be a candidate for Division 1. That certainly wouldn't be said in rugby.

And I can't see sports like hockey or ice hockey saying that to quantify a miss. Are there any other sports with a bar that features as part of their scoring method that someone could blaze it over to describe a miss? blazed over the bar. Yeah, that's an interesting one because I was just thinking with hockey, obviously you can undercut the ball and get it or flick it high, but I'm not sure you blaze like you're doing football.

I think that possibly could be. That could be a div one. Would you blaze it over the bar in handball, schmichael style? I don't think you would. Really? I think you'd blaze it. You wouldn't blaze it

because I think to blaze it, you've got to kick it, haven't you? I think so, yeah. So it's blazed over the bar getting a promotion. I think so. Yeah, unless people will pick us up and tell us otherwise. Matt also says, also, now that I've been able to see the great glossary, I was wondering about one of the entries listed in Division I couldn't sort their feet out. Now that's surely

something that could also be said in tennis, both in singles or doubles, to describe someone who misses a smash or a volley. Yeah, or that one actually where you come into the net and the return is right at your feet, isn't it? And you sort of, you know, half folly it, just stub it into the net. That's a good point. It's definitely a great shout, but I reckon it's a div too. That is a good point. I think maybe that's a relegation, I think. I've got a promotion and a relegation today.

And we've got another dispute here from Chris in Newcastle Australia. As a developing commentator covering multiple sports, says Chris, I love listening to the show each Saturday on my way to a call, brackets, commentary for you British.

He says, listening to a recent episode, I heard you talking about the referee pointing to the spot and including it in Division 1. Unfortunately, I have to debate this one as a frequent caller of rugby league. When the referee awards a try, we often say the

referee points to the spot in his awarding of the try. Personally, I like to throw in the occasional, the referee points to the spot. That's three letters, four points, T-R-Y. Thanks for the

wonderful listens. So is that a relegation to Division 2 for the referee points to the spot from Chris in Newcastle Australia he said with an upward inflection like our Australian friend I used it at Brentford Brentford Leeds Brentford didn't get the penalty

but the referee who the ref was so clearly pointed to the spot that I used it I mean use it all the time I like that as I said last time I was on I do love a referee points to the spot and also one of our one of our loyalist listeners the man with the most famous clipboard in the Premier League,

Martin O' Boyle, said on that similar theme, he said the one that goes along with the referee points to the spot is, and the referee reaches for his pocket. Yeah, reaches for his pocket. That's interesting, isn't it? The preposition there, because you actually reach into your pocket, don't you? Well, not if your hand is moving towards your pocket. Towards it, you're reaching for it.

You're reaching for your pocket. But that's a division too. that is a division too yeah yeah yeah very quickly a new commentary position at brentford I trialed out on Sunday up high on the gantry so it was it was always good it's even better now and the pies you get at half time up there from the little kitchen away to the right fantastic so you'll you'll look forward to that very good I saw I saw Chris and Anika from Brentford in midweek and they were both raving about the prospect of this new position yeah it's good they didn't mention the

Pies, but I'm already signed up for that. Now, talking pies, that's a good link to know, food theme here. There's a sort of Christmas dinner theme actually about this one, Mark from Chorley. Hello Ian, John and Alley. I was watching Liverpool the other day with my 13-year-old

son, Henry, and I made the comment that Sober Sly was different gravy. Henry gave me a funny look, and I explained that he was by far the best player this season. I've not heard it that much in commentary recently, but Ali did use it on the most recent FPL podcast. You guys do a fantastic job with the commentating iconic voices in the world of football and definitely different gravy. Merry Christmas to you all. So different gravy, would you use it? Div 1? Well, it can't be Div 1 actually. What's nice about that is that's a little bit of a changing of the generation's phrase, isn't it? And there was a time when different gravy would be a phrase that was quite often used. Yet 13-year-old Henry has not heard it before.

So it's a little bit like one of our previous ones, Johnny on the spot, isn't it? But sort of come from a previous generation. Yeah. But I would use that in a commentary. I do say different gravy, but I'm trying to think, would I say it in a commentary? I would have said probably not. Maybe not. Maybe it's a little casual.

A little bit too colloquial. Yeah. Also, on the theme of Christmas dinners, as I mentioned, the fact that I'm going to be at Tottenham this weekend. that's just how it's worked out just to inform listeners that very often clubs on their last match before Christmas will actually serve up a Christmas dinner and I've got a feeling that I think

in Tottenham's new stadium I think possibly every season I've been there for the Christmas dinner fixture well well well funny that isn't it it's just the way it's fallen and this is going to expose me but Brentford also

did a Christmas dinner. So I had a Christmas dinner and then the pie at half time. That's greedy. But all of it was delicious. Was it different gravy though? Hey! Very good. Maybe one for after Christmas Day, this one, or maybe

after New Year, from Rebecca in Sheffield. Hi there. I've been listeners since day one of the podcast. I was also delighted to see the commentator's view live this summer in the city I have made my home, and I hope this loyalty will stand my suggestion for the great glossary in good stead. So I think he's probably more Division 2 than Division 1, as I imagine it is used in other sports, but no glossary of commentary would be complete without a nice headache to have.

I hope considering this submission does not cause as much temporal strain as poor old Thomas Tuchel might have when choosing which of his talented number 10s to start this summer at the World Cup. All best, and thanks for keeping us all so delightfully entertained. Brecker, one of your loyal listeners, which could all. also be an unintended pub name? Well, thank you, Rebecca. Happy Christmas to you. And thank you for also coming to Sheffield to see the

TCV Live, which was, I think, one of the highlights of the year. It was one of the highlights of 2025. And we've not yet had the schedule for our tour dates for 2026, have we? No, they've not been released yet. It's not been released yet. Keep listening for that. But I think the loyal listener, excellent pub name.

Yes, yes. Whether Rebecca's loyalty would extend to going a little bit further afield than sheffield will time will only tell it'd be a nice headache to have though if that if you know if Rebecca has to make that choice I think that's a good one I mean it's definitely a div too but I do like it I do like it that's a real

sports commentary cliche isn't it yeah it's a nice headache to have might be a few headaches to have over the few things coming up as well what was that sorry what Millwall fan Terry next I've got a suggestion for the glossary it's the description of when a keeper concedes

comprehensively and was used by Rick Edwards on last Sunday's Premier League Review podcast. Now, Volta Mardis, these are my favourite type of own goals. I absolutely where you just think well what, like what an

earth are you, there's no one anywhere near him. It is a phenomenally good header. Yep. Like it's, I mean, keep a beating all ends up. Absolutely no chance. So beaten all ends up in the Weir-Tyne Derby. As for its divisional status, this is

Terry speaking here. I feel it's fairly nailed on Div 2 as the terms likely to be used in cricket when a batter's bamboozled by the bowler and plays down the wrong line and Merry Christmas to you all. Merry Christmas. Terry, beating all ends up, chaps. I love a clean bold, beaten all ends up.

A bit like you in Shrewsbury. Oh my God. But absolutely. And also, just going back to the Volta mater goal, I mean, I think that is I think at the end of this season, when I look back on this season, I think that is going to be one of the...

And when that goal was scored in the immediate aftermath, as I was saying Christmas has come early for the Sunderland supporters, I actually was thinking to myself, well, that's it. I just thought that in the context of this match, that is the winning goal.

Even though it was relatively early in the second half, I was immediately picturing how the match would be portrayed and thinking that that is going to be the story of this match. And indeed, that is the way that it turned out to be. That and the Sunderland team post-match photo. Photograph. Just to have a, yeah, the photograph that just to rub Newcastle's noses in it a little bit more.

Also, on the subject of Rick Edwards, I was watching the BBC Sports Personality of the Year programme. And when they did the sort of roundup of the things that had happened month by month, isn't it strange when you hear a voice in a slightly different context? Because I was thinking, who is there? Who I know this voice? And it was just in the wrong place. And it was Rick.

It was Rick Edward. But it took me. It took me probably until July of the roundup to work out that it was actually Rick's voice. You were beating all ends up. I was beaten all ends up by Rick Edward's voice. You were. Anyway, also, if anyone has not watched BBC sports personality of the year, and probably since by the time people listen to this,

it's probably received all sorts of critical abuse. I really enjoyed it and it was incredibly emotional for those, and it's actually worth going back and watching on the eye player but definitely have a box of tissues with you when you do that. Well, in summary, different gravy doesn't make it

into the great glossary of football commentary. Division 2 couldn't sort their feet out, relegated as it's used in other sports. Referey points to the spot, relegated. Referey reaches for their pocket. Nice headache to have. beaten, all ends up, and in Division 1, blaze over the bar. Hooray!

That's John pulling his Christmas cracker. They gave us Christmas crackers at Sunderland at the weekend, although we didn't pull any of them, unfortunately. Keep the glossary suggestions coming in, and remember if you hear an unintended pub name in a commentary, send it to TCV at BBC.co.com.com. voice notes on WhatsApp to 08,000 289-369. Before we go, a couple of important messages,

starting with this one from Everton fan, Gareth. Chaps, long-time listener, first-time voice-nator. Love the pod and felt I needed to offer up the thought for a Christmas special that you guys could have a mash-up podcast with MNC, FPL and yourselves. Some proper Mickey-taking and untold stories with the Champion League of quizzes and reputations on the line, was thinking two teams of two, FPL, Chris, Sutton and Stapman, Dave, T-CV, Ian, Dennis and John Murray.

ABB, you would need to be the quiz master. Well, that is interesting. So that's from Gareth. And funnily enough, we've also had this from Dan in Leicester. Since ABB also hosts the FPL pod, it might be fun one week to do a special clash of the commentators where Ian and John team up to go against Chris and Dave. If ABB could host as the question master for the crossover, thought it might be a good way to mash up the two pods, keep up the great work, always enjoy your insights and banter.

So there we have it. The gauntlet laid down and don't miss next week's episode. Because Five Lives annual Christmas sporting quiz, otherwise known as, you're better than that, as TCV takes on the FPL podcast from BBC Sport. That will be out on your football daily feed On Boxing Day Do you fancy your chances, John?

It's interesting that it's the commentator's view Up Against the FPL podcast And not up against Monday Night Club Hair Chapman Well, yeah, now he has I remember During the World Cup in Qatar When he and Chris Sutton took on you two

In an end of season Christmas quiz Which was a good one But we've not had him do it since but that would have been good at a triple header that was all in person wasn't it that's right we're all sitting together in that studio but a triple header TVC against MNC against

NPL pod from that case I take that back I take that back and I owe Hair Chapman an apology because he demonstrated that he is willing to have some fun he's suggesting that he's good he doesn't have fun no I'm not the very opposite well that's it for this episode of the Football Daily

and maybe you have plenty of time on your hands over the festive period. If so, remember, you can find each and every episode of the commentator's view by scrolling down your football daily feed. But in the meantime, Merry Christmas and we'll hopefully see you in the New Year. Maybe one for after Christmas Day this one, or maybe New Year's. This is from Rebecca in Sheffield. Hang on a minute. It's not New Year's.

it's new year it says new years on the script yeah well if this was coming from Washington DC maybe but it's not it's coming from the United Kingdom it's new year Nathan feel suitably chastised by that comment there from the chief

just found the bus and thrown Nathan right under that I'm not being thrown under it I'm just reading what's in front of me five life sports the test match special podcast this is going to be the of some pretty serious hard-nosed cricket over the next few days. He drives into the offside. This will be his hundred.

Well-played Joe Root, England's finest. Runs to always got to get better again. Jeez, swoosh. Sorry, settle down, Tupper. Sorry, mate. Oh, I'm living every ball of this. Listen to the TMS podcast, every day of the ashes with BBC Sounds.