Getting Naked: The Podcast - Reclaiming the Narrative

Episode Date: July 8, 2026

In this episode of Getting Naked: The Podcast, host Valerie Bertinelli connects with fellow actress and New York Times best-selling author Jennie Garth to explore the striking parallels of growing up in the Hollywood spotlight. The two dive into an intimate conversation about the challenges of setting personal boundaries, letting go of perfectionism, and overcoming the weight of tabloid scrutiny.

I'm so excited with this podcast. I know you guys are going to love it, too. We're all huge fans of Jenny Garth, and she's here talking to us on getting naked, so stay tuned. I have a really fun recipe for you today. You saw how easy that was. Look at all that flavor we packed into chicken breasts. I love the flavor of maple syrup, especially for these kind of muffins. I see all of your comments.

I swear I do. You are wondering, where's my show? This is so dang delicious. Smells divine. That's a jalapeno popper. Oh, my God. It's so good! Yes, I'm back and I am cooking for all of you.

All right, Sophie, what are we reheating today? Welcome to Nal Vows cooking. Guess what we're gonna make right now. We're alive, hi everybody, how are you? You have to go to Valerie's Place. That's where you can see our book group, this podcast. That's where you can go for all the cooking that you want to see. Oh, yes.

I've missed cooking for you. I'm glad I finally get to do it again. I'm dancing with how good it is. So head to Valerie's place.com and go ahead and sign up. You guys are the original members, and I can't can't thank you enough. It's happy time. So before we begin today's episode, I just want to give you a quick reminder that I want you to stay tuned for the full reveal. The full reveal is available to Valerie's Place members only. And if you want to become a Valerie's Place member, you go to

Valerie's Place.com and sign up, or you can go download the app wherever you want. You also get an early view of all these podcasts. So without further ado, I want to introduce today's guest. She is someone that, oh my goodness, we can relate in so many more ways than I can count. She's an actress. She's a mother. She has a podcast that is named after her book as well, which I was a guest on. And she is now a New York Times best-selling author with a fabulous book, yes. Thanks, guys. Called I Choose Me, and I'm so excited to have her sitting next to me. Hi, Jenny Garth. Hello, Valerie Bertinelli. And who do we have with us? Oh, we have Doddy. Doddy's? Oh, Doddy's so cute.

For the listeners, this is her bell. Yes. And she's sniffing the mic, so she's saying hello. She's such a sweetie pie. I met Doddy a few months ago when I came to your home to do your podcast, which was a blast, thank you. Yes, yes, I loved it too. It was such a blast. And this was right before you had given me an early copy of your book. Yes, right before it came out. Almost a month before it came out.

Congratulations on its success. You so deserve it. Thank you. Thank you so much. It was unexpected to me. You know, you know when you're like putting out a book that was like dreams to make any kind of list of bestselling. So that was just incredible. And like just the feeling that I've gotten from so many people who have read it and who have like said I have dog-eared pages. I've highlighted stuff. You know, I'm sure you've heard this about your book because they can really see themselves in our stories. And I think, you know, that kind of connection.

Honestly, it's like it feels good. Like it helps me. I'm sure you feel this. It's like a reciprocal sort of like. It kind of takes down that wall that we've learned to put up as, I mean, you were on the biggest show that there was. And it became such a phenomenon that you became almost like not a real human being. Like you were this, this figure, this figurehead, this person. So you become something unattainable as you will.

But you know you're a real human being who has real feelings who goes through challenging things. things who goes through beautiful things, and you're not unattainable. You're just a real good-hearted human being. Did you find that that was comfort to bring down that wall? I did, because I had lived for so long trying to be perfect. God, that syndrome. It's because we both played the good girl on TV. So we had to live up to that kind of persona, and I was nowhere near. I mean, my character started out as the bad girl, which would have been much easier for me to attend. You know, More fun to play. More fun to play.

But yeah, I think I'm from the Midwest, so I am just like salt of the earth kind of person at my core. And people just didn't know that. People don't know anything other than what they've seen. And I think now through our socials, we're able to really sort of reintroduce ourselves to our audiences as human beings, which is pretty cool because we deserve the right people. Yeah, we are too. We're just like everybody else.

Yeah. Especially you and I. Like I can't think of two. I mean, I'm sure there's a million other, but we're just too very down to earth celebrities, quote, you know? Celebrity feels like the furthest down on the list of one of the things that I am. No, it doesn't even enter my mind. Yeah. Like I'm just living my life, trying to like get through it, trying to learn and grow and love and do all the things as well as I can.

Yeah. Yeah, I just want to be the best version of whatever this is. Whatever this is. Yeah. And I have found that, and it was really uncomfortable. comfortable for me to start choosing me. Like I have found that I have chosen me a lot more often and in choosing me, I can then, it's easier for me to be present for my son, for my family, for my girlfriends. Where did you come up with this concept? I mean, we know where it came

from. Kelly started it. Yeah. I mean, it came from the line in 1995. Wow. Yeah, three words written by Jessica Klein, my writer at that time, for that scene. And she wrote three words. I didn't really understand. Well, for the people that have been living in her wrong, I didn't actually see the scene. Or don't remember. It's been a minute. It was a while ago.

What was Kelly trying to say? Well, she was asked to choose between two guys. And she couldn't win. If she picked one or the other, she would lose the friendship of the other. And they were both very important to her. So she chose herself, I think, in that moment as an effort to maintain her friendships. And I don't think even Kelly, I actually kind of know that even Kelly didn't think that choosing herself meant actually choosing herself. Because the next episode, she comes home with a new boyfriend who has a coke addiction.

So I don't really see her as live in that. But I stumbled back on it because I met a few women that said to me, When I watched that specific scene, heard that line, because you know how you have, like, lines that people really remember, certain, like, catchphrases that you said, or even something you said one time, like, this character, that people really, like, grab onto and relate to. And I had women say to me that I didn't know that I could choose myself. When I was that young and I was watching that show, that was the first time I'd ever heard that I get to choose me. Pretty powerful. And so, yeah, I really was like, wow, really? okay well we we need to revisit that messaging then and you know I feel like it is has a life of its own

it's you know such a current we're all talking about mental health and brain health and all the things ways to take better care of ourselves now and sharing all this knowledge um I think it's just so it's such an important little phrase to remember does it make you think as we were growing up um in the public eye, like, why is it so much, or maybe it's just because of the way you and I are built, it's so much easier to talk about everything, the flaws, the good things, the bad things, the just doing our best to be our most authentic selves.

And I say that sometimes with like, I don't even know what the fuck authentic is these days. I mean, how do you know? I don't even know, because I know that there are masks that I still put on to this day because I don't want to bug somebody with my problems. Right. But is that inauthentic or is it being authentic in the moment?

I think you're being authentic when it matters, when it's in your moment. Like you don't have to lead with, you know, your hot mess of issues that you're walking around with on that particular day. You don't make that authentic. No, yeah. Just keep that for the people that really care and love you. Yeah. Because, you know, you have to pick and choose who you share things with. For sure.

But being someone that has this platform and having women share their authentic struggles with me has been just like life-changing for me. So much so. And I know you can relate because you hear it from your people that watch your show and everybody that's read your book. Like I know that we're getting the same feedback. And I find the connection is, without overusing this word, more authentic. Like, having connections a long time ago with fans didn't feel the same way it feels now.

They just feel like comrades in arms now. We're so familiar. Like, I read their little comments. And I love it. And I read their DMs, and I respond to them. It's tricky. It's a lot. Well, there's some people I automatically block.

Yeah. I won't even go into it. Those DMs. Yeah, we get all of them. I'm sure you even more than me. But yeah, I know that. connection is so reciprocal. And I realized later in life at like 50 that by opening myself up, like to the true me, here it is, whether you like it or not, that's not up to me to decide.

But in being authentic like that, it makes other people be authentic too. So then you know, you start to know who is truly authentic and who's just putting on this, you know, sort of mask to fit what everybody's trying to talk about now. I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to get better at knowing that. I'm, I am such a Pollyanna and I always want to believe the best in people. And they inevitably, you know, a few of them prove me wrong that all people don't, aren't the best. But it's very few. There's some bad actors out there. Yeah. Why do they call them actors? Do you ever think that, like, even in like a, in the politics or legal, whatever somebody's talking about a group, they'll say there's one bad actor. That annoys the hell out of me. You know why?

Why? Because as an actor, you have to be your most honest with a role. You're not, you're not lying when you cry. You're finding a place in your being that is vulnerable and grief-stricken so that you can bring those real tears up. You're not lying. I used to be told, you're such a great liar because you're an actor. I'm like, yeah. Or like people say, oh, well, she's an actress, so you can't trust her. Right. Like, I, there are people that aren't actors that I trust way less than I would ever trust myself. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's such a stereotype. It is. And it's, we should make a movement to end this. Yes.

All of us actors out there that, yeah. Because I think, I mean, listen, human beings, there are bad actors out there in the acting community as well. Right. But I think in every community there's, yeah, I would call them bad apples. Bad apple. Yeah, there's a bad apple. Wait, wait, speaking of acting, your movie that just came out, not that way. long ago. Thank you. Yes, I have not watched it, but I saw the extensive commercial for it,

and I loved it. Oh, thank you. So, such a beautiful cast. You and Eric, and Eric and Henry. And so it's such a timely, you know, topic. I mean, women and men, our age, are really dealing with this, um, this Alzheimer's epidemic. Yeah. Whether it's with our parents or our spouses. And even if it's not Alzheimer's, it's, it's a grief of losing somebody that you absolutely love and adore, and then having also love come into your life at timing that isn't very good, but it's also needed. Well, congrats. I just wanted to say congrats.

It was an absolutely stunning script by Nancy Silvers, and I'm so grateful I got to work with Henry and with Eric. I just love seeing you act. Oh, Jenny, makes me happy. I love it. I love it. We don't get a lot of an opportunity to do that in our business for some reason. Because Nicole Kisman is, Nicole Kibman is doing everything.

There's nothing left for anybody else. I mean, I love Nicole Kibman, but what isn't she in? I mean, she's amazing. I have a really fun recipe for you today. You saw how easy that was. Look at all that flavor we packed into chicken breasts. I love the flavor of maple syrup, especially for these kind of muffins. I see all of your comments.

I swear I do. You are wondering, where's my show? This is so dang delicious. Smells divine. That's a jalapeno popper. Oh my god. It's so good! Yes, I'm back and I am cooking for all of you.

All right, Sophie, what are we reheating today? Welcome to Nalvaal's cooking. Guess what we're gonna make right now. We're alive, hi everybody, how are you? You have to go to Valerie's Place. That's where you can see our book group, this podcast. That's where you can go for all the cooking that you want to see.

Oh, yes. I've missed cooking for you. I'm glad I finally get to do it again. I'm dancing. That's how good it is. So head to Valerie's place.com and go ahead and sign up. You guys are the original member. and I can't thank you enough.

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Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Here we go. Someone's already claiming this is our year. Someone else said that last year too. A round of Jameson ginger and lime arrives at a table. Smooth enough for kickoff, smooth enough for extra time. New friends pulling up a stool. Debates about whether that was a handball.

Cheers rising like a roar around the room. Because match days are about the shared moments. Added Jameson to your match day lineup. Jameson, it's what you bring. Please enjoy our products responsibly. All right, well, let's talk about your massive success, because that is insane in the acting world. And did you feel, because I had this thing,

because I've been around for, oh, my God, I've been doing this for over 50 years, and I found that people would think I'm a certain way or see a reflection in me that they wanted to see in themselves and finding real true friends. Like, I didn't find real true friendships until I got into my 30s. Like the friends I have today

are friends that I've had about 30 years because I met them 30 years ago, far into my 30s. So I'm wondering, how did you start to find or feel safety in real friends in your life, knowing that they know something about you that you don't know about them?

Like, they have a reflection of you. Yeah, they know a lot more about me than I know about them. So that's a great opportunity to ask questions and get curious about people, which I love doing, because then it takes the, like, spotlight off of me. Yes. Yes. But I think, you know, I never really had friends as a young girl. I had, like, you know, some elementary school girls, but then we moved across the country and lost complete touch with anyone. We did lead the same line. I know. I'm telling you. I was a GM brat. I moved four or five times before I was in high school. So you became accustomed to, even before the industry that we're in does this too, you meet a cast, a crew, you work with them intensely for a month, three months, whatever it is. Become like family. Become like family. Goodbye comes and you rarely see them again. Rarely.

Unless you work with them again. Right. And then so that was like sort of like how I was wired to. And then having kids young, I was, I didn't have any time for female friendships. How old were you when you started having kids? 24. Oh, you were young. I was 30. I was pregnant at the end of 23, and I don't remember. It's so long ago. Somebody can do the math, I'm sure. But I was young, and my life became about being the best mom I could be. And then, you know, whatever was left was for my career and then my marriage. Unfortunately, that was in the last position. That's probably why it didn't go so good. But I think, like, I don't, I have like a core of friends. that I've had since the beginning of my career. And those are two people, I think, that off the top of my head. And then I have a few other people that I became friends with during that phase that has stuck with me. So I know that they know the real me and the highs and the lows. And so I know that those friendships are tried and true.

You feel safe. Yeah. But it's just a handful. Yeah. I have a small handful of friends, too. And I love people. I love making connections with people. but it is, I have learned through trauma that it's kind of not good to just be really vulnerable with some people.

And I think, did you have any hard lessons in that arena? Yeah, really. I mean, I don't know if it was a case of being vulnerable, but it was a case of, I guess there's a vulnerability in trying to tell your truth and having it not listened to. Yeah. Not believed. Yeah. So, yeah, I've definitely had some friendships that ended in. And also, I think, because of those, you know, train wreck situations where your friendship ends out of the blue and you're waylaid by it and then kind of feeling nervous to start another friendship.

Oh, God, yeah. Because it's like when you have a puppy and it dies, like it gets older and dies, then you're so sad. Yeah. You have to have, there's like a waiting period until you're like, I think I could get another puppy now. So it's kind of similar. I think we just got to have grace with ourselves and not put, I mean, I mean, I'm. I always felt like all these expectations for me to have, even now, to have this big, amazing group of friends that I go on trips with.

And it's girls' night every two weeks. I love my girlfriend time. I love it too, but I can't manage it right now. Like, I need to put it higher up on my list of priorities, but my best friend, Adele moved to Palm Springs. So that's a little bit of a harder. Yeah. And also my cousin, Tammy, who I'm extremely close with, nobody lives where I live. So it's really hard to maintain, unless you.

you plan that trip. Right. So maybe I need to fear cut that. FaceTime always works really great. I know that's... Reconnecting with people. Yeah, I love that. I mean, I face time with my son and my daughter-in-law all the time because we're always in

different parts of the world. When it comes to my kids, that's what I'm still spending most of my time, maintaining my relationships with my adult children. Right. And then managing everything else. It's so important because I've kind of realized, like, you can just drop it like it's hot and, like, they move out and you're like, okay, let me know if you need anything. Right.

And I did that more so with my third one just because I felt that's what she wanted and also what we needed to do. Because she was very close, baby the family. She needed to do some growing. So I kind of just let her do her thing. And now I'm like, ooh, should I circle back and, you know. It's so hard because I know. Oh, yeah. I know I was very much that way with Wolf, Mike, because I only have my only son.

And, I mean, he started touring with his dad when he was 16. I hated it, but I was out all the time. And like I've tried to like stay in his life, but also been like, I know that I have to stay. You know, I have to give him room to be him, but I'm like, because I can easily smother him. But I also know that he doesn't want me to smother him. I want to smother. Yeah. Then I found out later, he goes, no, mom, you can calm.

It's okay. You can do this. You can do that. You can just come over. I'm like, I don't want to, you know, you and Drea might be, just come over. We're fine. And I have gotten more comfortable with just like, hey, I'm on my way over or, hey, I'm doing this. Or, you know.

So it's a balancing because you want to be autonomous and have their own life. And they should. But I also want to be like, I'm here whenever you need me. I know. But then you think about like you as that age and what you needed and wanted and got from your mom. I was always like leaving him alone because I wanted my mom to leave me alone. Me too. Oh my God.

We're the same person. I was like this, you know, I was like this for so much of my life with my. mom. Mm-hmm. For whatever the reason. It's very complicated and later. Same. But that has given me this, like, complex of, oh, I shouldn't hold too tight.

I shouldn't love too much. Am I loving enough? It's a very... Please God help. It's a very hard position to be in. And I think it helps. It helped me anyway when I've just finally said to Wolf, you know, like, I want to do this, but I also want to give you your own time.

He's like, Mom, go just come over. Yeah. You know, I think that's the key is communication. Yeah. I've done that with my girls too. Like, let me know when you need me and I will check up on you. Right. But also, you know, they understand this sort of like back and forth that I have always had.

Am I loving them too much or not enough? Yeah. And I can kind of tell when he just doesn't, you know, when he just wants his alone time, I'm like, I'm, I'm the fucking with that. Excuse me. Someone just walked in. Dottie has something to say. Dottie, thank you for protecting us.

Yes. I really appreciate that. Vicious guard dog. Yes. She's very, we're very appreciative. Let's, where is that? What question I would ask you? We were talking about momming.

I'm momming. I would love to hear from any of you out there that if you go through the same thing that Jenny and I go through. Like, where do we find that fine line of giving our adult children the, um, the mothering that we'd love to give them, but also holding back enough so that we're not smothering them? And then to complicate things even further. there's the feeling of like, oh my God, I have my life back. Wait, I have to check in on my adult kids.

Yes, right, right. I love living in an empty nest. Oh, I don't. I love it. I also really want grandchildren. Me too, me too. I don't live in an empty nest. My middle daughter still lives at home, and my mom just is staying with us for now. So it's quite busy, but I cannot wait for the moment when my house is quiet.

Yeah. And there's nobody. It'll never be totally quiet because you're going to have animals. Oh, yeah. Well, they don't make, I mean. They're just like the people that follow me. All everywhere I go. Unconditional love.

I've spoken a lot about, and I talked about this on your podcast, about shame that was never really mine to carry. And your life being constantly part of the 90s fixture in tabloids, I was in the 80s tabloids. And I think we're still probably in them a little bit, but I don't, you know, who looks at those? I know. I didn't even know where to look anymore to find out what a tabloid is.

So when the media is misconstruing, I know that when I first saw very early on an article about me and Bonnie, and we were on the cover of the National Enquirer. I don't even know if that it still exists. I don't either. They had like a picture of me kind of like sort of crying and Bonnie angry. They obviously taken stills from the show saying that we don't get along, which couldn't be further from the truth. Bonnie and I never not get along. Bonnie and I, like she invited me out to New York when I was 15, 16, to hang with her for.

a summer after we finished the first season. And it made me fall in love with New York so much that I couldn't wait to actually live and work in New York, which I'm very close to doing right now. I kind of go back and forth on Bicostal. But I have a job in New York and I love it. So is there a part of you that wants to tell people, no, you're wrong, you're wrong? Or when they come too close to private pain, I remember there was a photograph of me when Ed and I were kind of like figuring out if we were going to stay together or not. And there's a, somehow paparazzi drove by my house, and I'm sitting on a bench in my backyard. How they got this picture, I'll never know.

And you can see me just kind of like, kind of sad. But, I mean, I sit like that sometimes. You're resting face. I'm resting face, yes. I mean, usually it's bitch resting face, but today it's sad. So they just made up this whole story. And I was just like, okay, we're having trouble. But God damn it, why do people have to know about it?

It's like, do you ever feel the need to, you know, say, I used to feel the need to go to everybody's door and go, this isn't true, this isn't true, and that's not true. This is sort of true, but this isn't true. And now I've given to a point with, I don't care what someone thinks of me. It's none of my business. We would be actually exhausted on every level

if we tried to do that over the years. I think we've learned that, and, you know, that's toughened our skin up and made us realize, like, you know, we know the truth about our lives. Right. Because constantly misquoting or picking up pieces of quotes and then putting it with something else, so it's like lifted and means something completely.

completely different. Right. Even on my podcast, that happens in the news. You know, they'll take quotes that make their story work better. And yeah, it's like we just, you know, you learn to not care, not, not. But it's, it was always harder for me once the Instagram happened and you could see people's direct comments more easily. And they can be brutal. And you'll see, and I've heard many people talk about this, like positive, positive, positive, one negative.

and you're like, ooh, that one. Yeah, I believe that guy. That guy that lives in a shed behind his mom and has no air conditioning. And he's actually in his underwear right now. Right, right. Like, why would I? And then I catch myself.

I'm like, why would you believe this person? Right. And I did when I first got, too. And you let it affect you. You so let it affect you. And you say, oh, no, it's just whatever, but it gets in. And that's the part that was always hardest for me. Not that I wanted everyone to love me and I wanted to please everyone all the time.

I mean, sure, but more like, oh, that's a personal attack. And honestly, I've had that fear or maybe like that negative thought about myself once, too. So now you're sort of. It must be true. Yeah. It must be true if you're thinking it too. And you don't even know me. What was the process you went through?

Because I can talk about my process of how I went through to like really getting to the other side of that, really just not caring what someone thinks of me. How did you get through that? because I can read a negative comment now and go, well, isn't that interesting? Okay, block. And it truly does not affect me any longer. You know, oh, speaking of blocking, like when people say, why do you only respond to the positive ones or why do you block the people that are negative? Like, why not?

That's your prerogative. That's your platform. Yeah, the squeaky wheel doesn't get noticed here in my, yeah. But it's so hard to not be like, oh, let me just tell you the truth, sir, whatever you're saying is wrong. But I don't know the exact process. I mean, it happened around the age of 50 because I spent so, so much time trying to be what other people wanted me to be or what society told me I should be. And I think that I had to really hit rock bottom personally in order to stop that whole, you know, wacky side show that was happening.

What does that look like hitting rock bottom? Well, for me, it was after my divorce from my... daughter's father. And that was just like I didn't know how to move forward. And I didn't giving up my kids every other week was misery beyond words. And that was rock bottom for me. And yeah. And how'd you crawl out of that?

Because you did. You're in a totally different place. I am. And that's the place that all of us want to be. Yep. I never, just like you who is listening, who is in that place and it thinks it's never going change and there's no hope for you. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes grace with yourself, letting yourself feel those rock bottom feelings and just knowing that they're going to pass.

Things are going to get better. No matter what it is, it's going to be better than where you are right now. Absolutely. And that's true. It's so hard to hear when you're at the very, very bottom. Yeah, but it's so true. I just remember rolling my eyes and be like, okay, great for you. like something's wrong with me. I don't know. That's not going to happen to me. But, and I think I got tired of that narrative within my own mind of like some, I'm damaged.

Something's wrong with me. I can't have a healthy love relationship, you know. That's so not true. All those narratives. I got sick of sort of giving them airtime and decided. Like I talk about this too. It's like flipping a switch. Like you can wait and give yourself grace and all that,

but there's a certain point where you're like, I'm done. Yeah. With feeling that way. Yeah. And I think you need to give yourself as much time as possible. Yeah. And if you have to wallow, wallow the fuck out. Just wallow until it just feels uncomfortable anymore.

It's like, oh, my God, I'm so tired of wallowing. And you're like, I'm so sick of me. Yes, I literally got sick of me. And I think that's, it's a point where you hear enough bad things about yourself, not even taking into consideration the 99. percent of the good things that you hear. Because I think we're both very lucky that we have really incredibly amazing fans and people that we encourage on our websites and, you know, in our Instagram to be friends. I call them friends. Oh, because they're friends now. Yeah. And they started

as fans, but now they're friends. Yeah, it's true. They are. I mean, I know a lot of my friends, pals, by name now. Some of them I've never met, but I, you know, know their screen names. And I just, I like that. But I think you just have to get to a point. where it just becomes so overwhelmingly. For me, it was just the daily, weekly, monthly grind of not knowing when something new was going to come out. There was somebody in my life that decided that they were going to spend the next year trying to dismantle my image, if you were. And I would watch them do this, and it was methodical in a way. and I thought, at first, like, it would come out and I would shake and I would get anxiety attacks,

and I would, like, read it and go, wait a minute, what they're saying isn't true. What they're saying is an experience that they had that is totally warped from what actually happened in the experience. And I'm not going to go around defending myself because what for? Then it just sounds like I'm, you know, you become desperate to defend yourself. And I found that the less I wanted to defend myself, and the more I read, and they got crazier and crazier, I was like, oh, this isn't about me. This is about what they're going through. It has nothing to do with me, but I'm a really great vehicle to use for whatever the fuck

they're going through. And it's not about me. So anything that they've written may say it's about me, but for me it was like, well, I don't recognize that version of me they're putting out there. So that's not me. And it got to a point where I'm like, no, that's not me. They can say whatever they want because that's not me. I don't have to defend it because I know me.

My friends, my family know me. They don't know that version that you're talking about. So I'm good. Yeah. Whether life serves you an ace or an unexpected backhand, the high-protein yogurt, Oikos Pro, is there to feed your strength and help you turn every challenge into a smash. Oikos Pro helps build strong muscles and support muscle recovery.

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Yeah. But, you know, I just got, like, tired of, like, allowing myself to do things that were self-indulgent. Like, I was a point where I was like, I've grown up really, had a great childhood. How old were you started when you got really famous? 17.

Wow, baby girl. Yeah. I mean, I... That's so hard. It's such a hard age. I was 15, and it's so hard. It's really tricky. Yeah.

Yeah, because you lose touch with your reality. It's so hard to be that age as a young woman anyway. And then, wow. Yeah. So I just, like, you know, had this life where I was very fortunate and lived this, you know, very privileged existence and thought I could act however I wanted to act. And I realized, like, okay, it's time for you to stop being self-indulgent. It's time for you to stop blaming everyone else. And it's time for you to look within and find out what was your part in that. Or look at what was that person's person's person? perspective, look through their eyes, and then find that...

Such a great vehicle to use. Yeah, find that kind of passion. From their place. Right, because, yeah, you have your point of view, but they have their point of view. And they're going to say yours is wrong, and you're going to say theirs is wrong. But this is just a waste of time. And it's like mindfuckery. You cannot do anything with that.

So, and then after that, it became about just completely accepting and also forgiving. Not for them, but for myself. I like that because it's a place where you come, you know, you can respectfully disagree, but also honor what they're going through. Yeah. It's not easy to do in the heat of the moment. It's never easy to do in the heat of the moment. And that's okay because then if you, if something happens in the heat of the moment, you can then go back later and go, you listen, I'm not comfortable with how that played out. And here's my part in it, and I'm sorry for it. So you can always take. ownership and whatever you want to do to help clean it up. And if it's still not going to be

cleaned up, at least you've done your part and taken the ownership. You can walk away, right. Yeah. The phrase I Choose Me, we talked about that, how it started off. Were you afraid of any backlash for making it your own words to live by, but it coming from a character? No. No? I don't think so. I mean, I played that character for 10 years. Towards the end, I really never said anything that my whole body didn't align with for the character. Did you find that your character became more like you at the longer you played her? Yeah. Like the first, after the first season, basically.

Yeah. Because the writers get to know you. Exactly. You can't hide your true self. Right, right. And then they take what you are and they kind of enhance it into your character. Yeah, which makes it easier for them to write. And yeah, they love them.

that. And then also it makes it, you know, more natural to play. And it gives you a lot more layers, I think, as a character, because we all have so many layers. So it's really interesting to explore them. Yeah. But I don't know that the backlash was something I was concerned with. I think some of the, some negative thoughts that I have heard or comments that I've heard, mostly positive, like you said, 99% positive. But anyone that would say, like, she's talking about something from 30, you, seven years ago, why can't she, you know, move on? That was, get something new to talk about. You're so irrelevant. All that. Storytelling. That is, can get in your head and cause you to freeze and then not do your life's purpose, not really do what you want to do because you're afraid of other

people knocking you down. But people are going to knock you down. All the time. All the time. Some people find it a sport. Yeah. And so, you just have to think. I don't, I'm not really worried about what you think. Right. Or I'm not for you. This may not be for you. And my truth, with whatever I'm focusing on, I assure you it's something that I believe in. Like I am unable to.

100% talk about stuff I don't care about. Right. Because that's boring at this age. I've done it plenty. Yeah. But yeah, like I don't have any connection with that. So I just, you know, I don't think that I've gotten any backlash that I'm really aware of to, you know, an extent that needs to be addressed.

But those are the people that I just don't find them very supportive. Or very open to humans changing and progressing and, you know, circling back on the things in their life that were profound for them. Some people have a hard time looking at, you know, things that happen in their past. Right. And they have a hard time accepting that you want to share your journey in hopes of it helping other people feel seen and heard. Why is that so hard to believe?

Like people are like, why are you talking about this? Why do you have to cry? Why can't you just, you know, just be happy and just do that? I am happy 90% on my Instagram and everywhere I go. But there are days that I'm just like, I'm not feeling it today. And I decided I'm not going to just fake it until I make it some days. Because you can't. I'm going to slice a watermelon.

I'm going to cry during it and tell you why I'm crying and why I'm doing this as opposed to just, you know, wallowing in my shit. Right, right. Oh, yes, I remember that post. I was a good one. It was a good one because I think I felt good about it because I showed the process of going through something that was incredibly uncomfortable and I just wanted to get to the other side of it. And I just needed to feel my feelings. And I'm so used to not feeling my feelings, squashing it down, that I just wanted to show people what it feels like to feel your feelings and go for it. I'm glad it was helpful for some people.

And just being human. Yeah. And that makes other people think, oh, wait, I can be a human too. Yeah. Yeah. We all can. I want to get to the full reveal. And I want to ask Jenny a question in the full reveal about when you finally do sit down to choose yourself and what kind of grief comes up because I have some of that as well.

So that's going to be safe for the full reveal. So if you'd like to pop into the full reveal, this is for Valor's Place members only. So if you'd like to join Baller's Place, go to Valor's Place.com or go download your app wherever you'd like to download your apps. And you will get the podcast first up at Valerie's Place and then it later is on YouTube and Spotify. So stick around for the full reveal. I have a really fun recipe for you today. You saw how easy that was. Look at all that flavor we packed into chicken breasts.

Love the flavor of maple syrup, especially for these kind of muffins. I see all of your comments. I swear I do. You are wondering, where's my show? This is so dang delicious. Smells divine. That's a jalapeno pauper.

Oh my God. It's so good. Yes, I'm back, and I am cooking for all of you. All right, Sophie. What are we reheating today? Welcome to Nal Vowals cooking. Guess what we're going to make right now. We're alive.

Hi, everybody. How are you? You have to go to Valerie's Place. That's where you can see our book group, this podcast. That's where you can go for all the cooking that you want to see. Oh, yes. I've missed cooking for you. I'm glad I finally get to do it again.

I'm dancing. That's how good it is. So head to Valerie's Place.com and go ahead and sign up. You guys are the original members, and I can't thank you enough. It's happy time. If you want a $3,000 a month payday for life, what would you feel free to do? Maybe take a long weekend, every weekend, or try a bunch of new hobbies? Would you feel free to upgrade and listen ad-free?

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