Getting Naked: The Podcast - Valerie Bertinelli & Mackenzie Phillips Live — Getting Naked Podcast

Episode Date: September 21, 2026

Valerie and Mackenzie Phillips come together live for the first time ever to answer your questions after the last two episodes — One Pod at a Time and Return of the Mack.If the last two weeks of Getting Naked moved you, made you think, or left you with something you needed to ask — this is your moment. Mackenzie and Val are live, taking your questions in real time. This episode is live on YouTube, but they'll only be answering questions from the live chat at https://valeriesplace.com/videos/mack-and-me-live🔒 Full Reveal: this YouTube stream covers part of the conversation — the Full Reveal, where Mackenzie asks Val some of the questions she's always wanted to, is exclusive to Valerie's Place members.👉 Join us there to watch the Full Reveal → https://valeriesplace.com/joinUse code YOUTUBE for your first month free.📅 Friday, September 18th at 1pm ET / 10am PTAvailable live to all paid members starting at $2/month. Replay available after the live premiere.Hosts: Valerie BertinelliGuest: Mackenzie Phillips#GettingNakedPodcast #ValerieBertinelli #MackenziePhillips #ValeriesPlace #LivePodcast #OnePodAtATime #ReturnOfTheMack

Hi. Oh my God. We're live. So I want to thank you all for being here. This is kind of fun. And there was so much amazing feedback from the last two episodes with McKenzie. Don't fucking cry. Same here. But I want to welcome everybody from YouTube and not just everyone from Valor's Place. But I want to do say one thing that if you are a, of Valerie's Place, you will get to watch the big reveal that we do at the end. It's a separate

10 or 20 or whatever minutes that we get even deeper, if you can believe it. And if you want to subscribe to Valor's Place and watch the big reveal or the full reveal, just head on over to Valor's Place.com and see which subscription you would like. Okay. So the reactions. I before, let me just say, I'm so flustered and I don't know why. I'm, oh, you know what? Let's go to the title. Hi, we're here, getting naked the podcast. Yeah.

Calmness here. Wow. That's a flashback. That's really a flashback. Yeah. Mack was just calming me down because I'm a little harried. So thank you for that. She just said Bonnie would do this before a show before everyone was getting anxious when everyone,

and she would just go, what? Calmness here. Yeah. And she also did it on the show. I think she did it once or twice on the show. I wouldn't be surprised. And the arms came here and down. I remember it. I can remember it. We're both out of control today.

Yeah. For a good podcast, that's for sure. Before we get into viewers' comments and I want to say, I already see Beth. I see Beach Bonnie. I see Heather Jean, Terry, Corelli. Hi, guys. I'm so happy that you're all here. What I do want to do, though, is real quickly just go over a few.

There's a lot of comments here from YouTube, from Valerie's Place, from, I don't know if Spotify is allowed to do that. But anyway, let me just say from Rose Montana, thank you. And I'm going to read her comment. The level of love, trust, and respect you have for one another is so beautiful and deeply moving, especially knowing how much you both have been through. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable, honest, and. compassionate conversation. This is what true friendship and holding space for one another looks like.

Thank you. I did not know how much I needed this conversation. Blessing to you both. Well, thank you so much, Rosa. We're both on the verge of tears this morning anyway for whatever reason. So, wow. Yeah. Thank you.

So sweet. Karen Schaefer. Oh, my gosh, in full caps. I am absolutely speechless. This has been the best podcast I have ever watched. I resonated with you both, one 10,000 percent. The both of you are truly gifts. I cannot tell you both how much you've touched me just by this podcast alone.

I adore the both of you. I could sit for hours and talk with the both of you. I cried and laughed through the entire podcast. I do have a hard time of forgiving people. Girl, I am with you. I'm going through that right now. And it's like been over for at least six months. I can't understand forgiving them for myself.

I can't either. I feel if I forgive someone who did me horribly wrong, I feel as though I'm saying what they did was okay. And I cannot do that. Forgiving someone who did something horrible to me can't be forgiven. My head can't comprehend the do it for yourself part. And I know we talked about forgiveness because you've gotten there. Yes.

I have not. I've gotten there. I got there with Ed. But I feel like Ed and I had so much history, and he was never physically or verbally or mentally abusive. He was drug addicted and he was alcohol addicted and he was in a lot of pain. The trauma that he had in his childhood, he never knew how to take care of. The trauma that I had, I didn't know how to deal with that. if I if Ed was alive today I would be able to be so much more compassionate and patient with him

maybe I'm just saying that because he's gone and I don't have the chance to do it but um now having dealt with a lot of my childhood trauma and having experienced abuse the last few years the physical mental and emotional and verbal. At this age, I never thought that would happen. Now I understand how trauma can excuse behavior from people and you do things that you're not proud of because you just want to see that person for who you thought they were. You just want to believe the best in someone.

So I'm agreeing with Karen Schaefer. I don't know how to forgive either. Do you want to talk to us about forgiveness? Absolutely. Like I said, when we were talking, I have a watery eye, either that or I'm weeping. But you look gorgeous. Thank you, darling. That's all that's important, right?

No, there are things that are way more important than that. That's just still the actor in us. Exactly. That cares about how we look. Exactly. Yeah. I took so much shit for having forgiven my father and writing about it in High on Arrival. And people were like, that's unforgivable.

And I'm like, absolutely. Yeah. It's completely unforgivable. That means that I'm able to forgive for myself because he did shameless things. Remember we were talking about this? Yes. And I felt shameful because he was shameless, right? But where do you, I mean, why does the shame lie on your chest?

Well, because that's what we do. Thank you, Willis. He's bringing in tissues for us. Thank you. We take, I took on the shame of I was complicit. It must have been my fault. You know, all that kind of stuff. And this applies to many different types of scenarios, right?

But for me, it was such a horror. But I sat there, I stood there, and I looked. looked at him on his deathbed, right? And I thought, this is my chance. This is my chance to release something? To free myself. Yeah. Up to a point, you know?

And I just said, I told you, I said, I just want you to know that through all the hell and the ups and the downs and the terrible, unconscionable parts and the fun parts and the good parts. That's what's so confusing about it is because the good times are like, They confuse you. Yes. Yes, but the forgiveness, and I say this, and people don't understand. Some people understand it, and some people do. But it doesn't mean that I co-sign what the fuck you did. I don't approve.

I don't like it. You almost killed me, right? I almost killed myself because of what you did. And yet, Maynick! Made it! Part of the beast is the must-see adventure of the year. You and me, boy.

One of the most extraordinary on-screen brunt you'll ever see. I'll get you home. Brad Pitt, Art of the Beast. September 25th. Get tickets now. And this might sound weird, too. I get to be the bigger person. I get to take the high road.

That does feel good to a certain extent. Yes, but it's not like a this kind of thing. No. And I've never thought of it. It's like not getting into the mud with them. Yes. Not getting into the dirt, not getting into the slinging. And it does feel good to be the bigger person.

Well, at this point, he was intubated, so he couldn't say shit, you know? So he never got a chance to apologize to you? Do you think he would have? I don't think he would have. No, I don't think he would have. Is that an uncomfortable question? I'm sorry. No, Val, you can ask me anything.

And vice versa, yeah. Okay, good, because I have some questions later. Oh, God. Which is going to be in the full reveal, so we're going to wait. Max don't turn the tables on me. You might want to check this out. Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to give you a hard time.

No, you know what, though? The hard time, in quotes, that you would give me, makes me self-reflect because it makes me bring up all of my jealous, petty, all the parts about me that I don't like. Right. But all the parts about me, those parts, kept the good part of me alive as well. Yeah. So I just, I remember being in therapy and going, I'm so angry, but I don't. want to be angry. I'm not allowed to be angry. Anger is good. Yeah. It just, you don't want to be angry and spew horrible things to people. But anger is a good emotion to feel and to work through.

Well, what do they say? Anger turned inward becomes depression. Or fear or grief. Fear or grief. Any of them, pretty much all of those things are kind of the same thing. Yeah. In their own way. It's your body. It's your, for the way I look at it, it's my little girl who was never taken care of and never given the love that she or the attention that she needed. I know it sounds weird because I've an actor since I was 12, but for someone like me to say, I was never given the attention. I don't know how to explain that. I do. Please do. I mean, for myself, because, you know, I do a lot of speaking and I talk about a lot of very, you know, personal and, you know, difficult things. And I always say, you know, it's very difficult for me to stand here with the abundance.

that's had in my life and say, I experienced neglect. Yeah. I experienced abuse. You know, I wasn't taken care of. My needs weren't met. How do you reconcile the two? Right. Right.

Because people think, oh, my God, how can you say that? You've had everything. And yet, again, like I said, I've earned the right to speak of forgiveness because I've forgiven, right? And I felt like I felt disingenuous for a long time saying I've experienced neglect and my knees weren't met. You did. Yes. But and, yes, and instead of yes, but. Yes, and.

And coming from the place that we both come from, which is very abundant and there's a lot of stuff that comes along with it. I have a million and one things to be grateful for in my life. But it stops me and I think it probably stops us both from allowing ourselves to look at at and feel, you know, the grief. The grief. The shame, the fear, the why. What about the why? Why is a big thing?

I was just joking with Wolfie yesterday because I ask why all the time, like a two-year-old, because I always want to know the why. It's a question that that haunts me. I don't, I need to know people's motivation. I need to know why they're doing the things they're doing. I need to know why. And you don't always get that answer. Well, here's what she.

Shane says, Shane says, this is my son. This is your son. Shane says, Mom, why leads to another why, which leads to another why, which leads to another why. And it just devolved. How do you stop that spiral? How do you stop that spiral? Oh, okay. Awareness.

Mm-hmm. Oh, I'm about to ask why. Mm-hmm. Because after my dad died, I thought, oh, my God, there's this song by Stevie Nix called I Miss You. Mm-hmm. I miss you now. I have so many questions about love and about pain, about strange relationships, about things only he could explain to me.

And so I listen to that song over and over again, and I'm thinking, now I'm never going to know, my God, how, where's the why? Where's the why? Why did you do this to me? Why did this happen? And I was weeping and I was, you know, it's like, oh, my God, why am I so sad that he's dead? What's happening? Oh, it's so confusing. I'm so confused.

That's when I relapse, too. And then one day, it's like, you don't need him. You already know why. You already have all the answers. We already have all the answers. It's just allowing ourselves to access them. I had all the answers. You know, I know.

Because the why makes you turn inward and makes you look at all the mistakes you made. And that's where my shame overpowers me sometimes, which is why I've been starting up back with my EMDR because I'm ruminating too much. It's like that video loop in your head, that audio, and that's what EM... Have you been through coercive control? Coercive control? Yes, but I don't know what it is, but it certainly sounds like something of experience. Okay.

Someone who coerces you. Because it's insidious and it's soul-destructing and it's abusive. It's... It's, I was never told you can't go see your son's concert. Right. But when I would go, my phone would blow up. I would get texts. The night would be miserable because they would make it miserable.

I was never told you can't hang a picture of you and your son and your ex-husband in your house on your family wall because it makes me uncomfortable. No, they just made me miserable until I took that picture down. Who are the they? I can't talk about the they. I understand. I understand. I get it now. And I think, and if you don't know who the they is, I think it's better that that way you can look inward and see who's doing this to me.

Right. Even though you don't have to have a they, but you know this experience has happened. Yes. Right. I mean, I was never told you can't love your ex-husband, but I was berated and made miserable until I said, okay, fine, I don't love him. Yeah. And for me, to deny my love for my son's child when it was pure, even though we went through really shitty things and I did shitty things, he did shitty things, but the love was pure. When I denied my love for him, it felt like I was destroying my soul.

And that's what coercive control does. It makes you do things that you don't believe. You'll do it just to keep the peace. Oh, okay. So yes, of course. Yes. I have been through that. And sometimes I feel in certain areas of my life it's still going on.

Oh. Yeah. That's hard. It's hard, especially when you're like a big old grown-up. I mean, we're supposed to be anyway, you know. But you know what, though? When we say like, oh, but I should be. But there's a should.

Should is a mind fuck. Yes. But supposed to is almost the same as should, isn't it? Yeah. But then we- Shame is. so hard, especially when it's like, I know I don't have anything to be ashamed of.

And yet the biggest shame is denying that I loved Ed, just to keep him quiet and leave me alone. When I knew it wasn't true. And that hurt my son. Oh, God, I'm saying far too fucking much. Okay. That's live. Jesus.

Oh, right. We can't take this back. Oh, God. We can't cut it. Okay. Well, no, let me tell you something, is that I'm very, very close with my ex-husband. He's my best friend. I love that. And I was too. I love... You see, and so for someone... You always told me that Shane and you, you co-parented your son, Shane. You always loved him in a way. Like, your... A heart is so big. You can love many, many people in many different ways. I'm not allowed to.

My loving Ed doesn't... Will not interrupt and will not destroy any love I may feel for anyone, intimate love I may feel for someone in the future. That's right. Not even, not even intimate love. Right. But, you know, and so many people, people say to me, well, how did you manifest that miracle? How are you going to your ex-husband in his wife's house for Christmas every single fucking year? Thanksgiving, birthdays, all that stuff. That's good co-parenting. But you know what? It is because of the generous soul of his wife. Maria. Hi, Maria. I love you so much. I mean, because she could have made it horrendous. She could have made it impossible. Yep. But there are second wives that do that.

Yeah. And so because of her beautiful soul, and we also love each other very much, Maria and I. And you want to see Shane happy. Exactly. Your son and your ex-husband. Yeah. I just wanted to see them happy.

Like anyone who hurts my ex-husband, I want to fuck them up. Same. Seriously. You don't know who you're dealing with. Who says anything online about him because he's a beautiful, brilliant, guitar player that, you know, I don't know if you watch the Led Zeppelin Kennedy Center honors, but he's the guy who plays the solo on stairway to heaven in front of Jimmy Page. With Anne Wilson?

Yes. Holy shit. That's Shane! That's Shane! Yes! Every time I watch it, I cry. But, you know, anyway, and when I, and, like, whenever anything, any, oh, I want to, like, if anyone hurts your kid, you want to fuck them up?

Yeah. Oh, don't. This one girl broke up with my son, and I was like, I want to clock that bitch. Right? Because you don't like to. God, I'm snorting. You don't like to see people you love in pain. No, I refuse to accept it.

All right. I'm going to, this is getting deep. But you know what? I love it. And I want to hear from, this is therapy, Lewis says. Yes. My mom hurt me by betraying my dad an affair, but I'd never stop loving her. Beach Bonnie says that.

Beach Bonnie, that's quite an admission. Good for you. It's hard. When it comes to parents. These are beautiful souls who have been, a lot of these people have been members for, gosh, since we started in March. So I do recognize a lot of these things. Heather Jean goes a lot of. I've thought of jumping in.

You should. I will. I jump in too. Okay. Yes. And they'll all recognize you. Okay. I'm trying to, oh my God, I can't see because this is like I'm tearing up.

Beth, so glad you're here. This loving and caring community are all children and big grownups, too. Yes. That's what I do love about this, is that we are really building a community on Valerie's place. Oh, God. Okay. What do you want to talk about? Now that we talked about all that.

So let me say that. I don't know. Did I say this? I think I was saying it to Willis in London. And God, why can't I remember your name? I love you so much. That's Andrew. Andrew, okay.

He's wearing a T-shirt from Camus, you know, with an incredible quote from Albert Camus. Let me see. Let me see, Andrew. What does your T-shirt say? It's in French. One must imagine Sisyphus happy. Oh, as he's rolling up the... Wow.

Isn't that insane? Because the joy is the journey. That's right. difficult. No matter. That's right. Wow. That's a good one. And I'm wearing an awkward human shirt because I am. I'm wearing awkward human skin. What I was going to, what I was going to say was that, you know, the first part blew up, right? The first part of the podcast just episode one, two weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah. Billy texted me and said the response was nothing short of extraordinary. Yeah. Thanks you guys. Yeah. Thank you, everybody.

so much because to be loved for, you know, all of our imperfections. Your authenticity. You are the most authentic I've ever seen you. But it's us. Yeah. It's us. It's people seeing us together and us actually breaking down and shedding off, you know, all the years, right?

So then. We were so little then, though. We've done something so beautiful, right? The two of us together right here at this table in this room. And then the media grabs, McKenzie Phillips admits that she's been celibate for 15 years. You were not embarrassed about it at all. No, but it's the word admit. Why do they have to do that?

I don't know. I don't know because an admission seems like, oh, my God, okay, so I have to tell you something, and I'm so ashamed of it. And that's where people, I guess what annoys me about that is because those, the pull quotes are things, and then they add words to. them. For people that didn't see the podcast, don't understand what went behind it and how it arrived at there. Out of context. Yeah. Yeah. And so it becomes this, you know, you know, obviously they're going to clickbait the shit out of it, right? For both of us, they did. And so this is the perfect time for me to say that I heard from my dear friend Richard Mazur after saying that he was not a nice man. And the truth was that he would take me aside.

when we were doing the show and give me some direction, some inspiration. And at the time, I felt like he was trying to control me. Oh. You know, and who is this guy? And who does he think he is? And so on. Remember, you were 16. That's right.

Yeah. And he said, you know, and he and I have a great deal in common in another area of our lives. And he texted me and he said, I thought this was all behind us. And I want to say that it is all. behind us. And I said that to him. I said, it is all behind us, and we were caught up in the moment. And, you know, because Richard is really a very lovely man. He is. Absolutely. Teenage Mac had an experience that grown up, that grown up at the time. Would he hear it totally differently? Well, he didn't even realize that that it had happened. Oh, wow.

Yeah. When he talked to me at a Comic Con called Chiller in New Jersey, it's amazing. I'm doing it next month. He said, Why are you mad at me? What did I do? Oh, no. This was a couple years ago. And so I guess I'd said it before. And he said, I don't even remember what you're talking about. I don't even recall it in that way.

I recall it in a loving way. And so I love you, Richard. I love you. I want people to know that about you. It's a shame that that got taken out of context, too, because I thought you were very clear about it, that you do have a good relationship with Richard. I do, but they didn't bring up that part. No, and I mean, I've always...

No, they did say they have since made peace or something like that. Which sounds like it was this horrible thing, and it wasn't. It was so much smaller than what the press made it out to be. Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's going to... I mean, I don't know why they kept saying I was afraid of Norman, because those are my words. Right. So I get it.

Right. But my words were, I was afraid as a 15, 16-year-old of being reprimanded by the great Norman Lear. Did you know? Even though he never was frightening. No. He was, he was larger than life. Yes.

He was, he was, he walked into a room and you knew he was there, not because he was being a dick. No. But he was. He cloned like Betty White. He really did. Yeah. Oh, I watch Golden Girls every night.

I'm an old lady. And I, and I watch, I watch Betty, and of course, I think of you. And I think of knowing Betty since we were kids from actors and others for animals. Oh, yeah. I used to volunteer for that. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Oh, I just adored her.

Okay. More questions, I think. From Bella 59, Val, if you see that one. I'm trying to scroll it, and I'm having trouble scrolling. Well, I know if you need to pop in. Yeah, can you pop in? Hi, Karen from Chicago. We're never happening before in chat.

Oh, something never happened to her in chat. Sorry, yours is backwards. How do you scroll your computer? The other way. Down. Like, I scroll this way, so it goes down. Yeah. All the nerds, and I say that in the most loving way.

You can scroll this way. Okay. Oh, to get back to what you... My mother was abusive, and I left home at 16. Wow, because of it. I released my resentment a few years ago. 84, she died. But I didn't feel love.

until we were on the couch about a week 84 she died. It was an unspoken exchange between us, but I heard it clear that day. Wow. You know, that is, okay, Bella 59? Hi, Bella 59. You just helped me tremendously. Oh, yeah, because, like I said,

when I told my dad, I forgive you, but I do not condone what you did. He was intubated. And so he couldn't say anything. But as you're reading Bella, I can see the look in his eyes. And that in itself, okay, now it's enough. Thank you, Bella. Oh, that's nice.

God, you can still learn things and feel things even when you think you've put them to bed. I think I know now that he was saying. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, and I also hear all these other things. He might be here. I couldn't, I didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't help myself. Oh, it's just pouring out of me.

I couldn't stop doing drugs. You look just like your mother. My God. Okay, so. That's an epiphany. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

And this is coming through some, like I'm not a particularly, oh my God, you know, but I feel like I'm sort of channeling him right now, which is weird. You look just like your mother and I couldn't stop doing drugs and I couldn't help myself and I love you so much and I'm so sorry.

Thank you, Bella. I understand now better the unspoken love thing that you're talking about. Wow. Wow. Wow. This is like someone said earlier

that like therapy. One of my favorite episodes is when both of you sang Helton, the Elton John's son. I mean, it's one of my favorites, too. You've always had the most beautiful singing voice. Me, not so much.

I was watching it the other night. I don't know why, probably because it was in one of those things. And you sing really well. Oh, please. No. I challenge you to a karaoke night. No. In fact, it's so, I remember Wolfie once saying to me because I like to sing with him.

Now, he's got an amazing voice. Wonderful. He's, yeah. And he goes, Mama, I don't. don't think you'd get the harmony. And he's right. You know, he said it in the kindest way possible, but he's right. You know, harmonies are hard for me because I tend to follow the lead vocal. Yeah, like you start on the harmony and then you jump to the lead. Yeah, because I don't know how to, like, did you take singing lessons? You see what you're doing right there? Yeah. That's how I learned

from my dad about harmony. He said, think of it as a graph. Talk about harmonies. Think of it as a graph, right? And you hear here and you stay here as this moves there. Ah. And it shifted something for me. But you have a really good ear as well. I do not. Right. Okay. Yeah.

That makes a difference because I can hear myself singing in the shower think I'm fucking Linda Ronstadt. Right. But I'm not. Last night, I got Shane this thing called a tone wood, which is this amazing thing that you put on an acoustic guitar. You just clamp it to the back and you do have to do a couple of guy things. Well, I shouldn't say that, things that I don't know how to do.

I bet Nancy Wilson would know how to do it. Exactly. Oh, God, she's so hot. She's so hot. Oh, please. In every way. Lokes, guitar playing, new writing. Why aren't you like, where are we?

She's amazing. But Shane said, do we have double A's? I need to put new batteries in the tonewood. I'm like, oh, my God, you're hooking up the tonewood again. Tonwood, I love you. You do amazing things for an acoustic guitar. So I'm in my room, and his room is right below mine, and I'm going down the stairs, and I can hear him playing and singing, and, of course, what do I do?

I stop and I sit on the stairs and I listen because Shane has the most beautiful voice and such incredible pitch and tone. And I'm just sitting there listening going, you're really, oh, you're eavesdropping now, Mom. But I sat there and I listened for a while. Absolutely. And tone would makes the guitar sound like. Like it has an amp? It's like an amp. Okay.

But you can also like adjust it for different types of sounds. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. Yes, Willis. I'm going to make this bigger for you. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.

Oh, God, no. Why? I can't. I think it took me long enough to get used to these. It took me long enough to get used to these. And I asked my doctor, can't. I asked my doctor, I said, is there a surgery I can have? So I can have my 2020 vision back.

He goes, no, your eyes are old, honey. Yeah. I'm like, oh. I wear one contact for reading and one for distance. That would make, no, how? I don't. You think. How long does it take to get used to?

A day. Maybe I'll talk to my doctor about it. Because, like, it's incredible because I can read. I wouldn't be able to. No way, because I have to use plus five to read. to read. No, I can read this perfectly, perfectly. And then I can see...

Wow, I need that. Our brains... Adjust? Andrew? Our brains adjust to it. Like, when you first started wearing progressives, wasn't it a little weird? For about a week, I was nauseous. Right.

Yeah. Try it. It's called mono vision. Mono vision. Yeah. And if I don't like it, I don't like it. Exactly. They give you trials.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'll try. Okay. But I love you in glasses. They look great. You're welcome.

I get so many comments. It's like, you look so much better with the glasses. Or change your glasses, they're too big. It's like, I'm sorry. I need to see. And I like funky glasses sometimes. I love the glasses you wear. How many pairs of frames do you have?

Come on. Progressives, I have probably about five. Okay. Of readers, I probably have three or four in each room. Right. Because I have a certain level of reader in a kitchen. Right. Right.

Because the kitchen, I don't want it. super like five in the kitchen. It's more like 3.5. Right. Oh my God. This is stupid. The light is different? No, because I don't have to be, I don't want to be close-up close-up when I'm cooking. I just need to see what I'm cooking. Anyway, from a 1970 child, was that who it was, Willis? I have a hard time forgiving my dad who caused my mom's death in the domestic violence crime in 1977. When I was seven years old, he died in 2011, but never took full responsibility.

any words of advice for 1970s child oh my god i'm so sorry i am so sorry and i'm going to say this some things you can't forgive yeah there are some things i don't know that you could forgive you i don't know that you could forgive something like that if how how can 1970s child obviously you still move on but there's a there's a weight on your shoulders in your chest that that kind of feels like it's always sitting there Well, I imagine that that's like the ultimate betrayal. Fuck, yeah. I don't want to make you feel worse, 70's child.

But I understand because you may be trying to let go of the, just to, I just can't have to have words for that. I know that my worst traumas have been mitigated by this little machine. It's called a TheraTapper. And I highly advise going to see a really good therapist to teach you how to use it and to work your way through it. Now what I'll do is I'll lay down on my bed or on the floor and I'll play some sulfegium music or some cortisol releasing music or whatever it may be. Cortisol release. That's what's every night I sleep. So and then I've tried.

So to 1970s child, maybe look into a really good EMDR therapist. or a DBT therapist, a dialectal behavior therapist. There are different types of therapy besides just talk therapy. I love talk therapy, and I love my talk therapist that I have, but sometimes I need to go even deeper that my just talking won't do. And the Therotapper helps me go a little bit deeper. And I've got to say, the moment I turn this on and get the settings correct. Is it like bilateral stimulation, like EMDR is?

It is. This is EMDR. Oh, okay, okay. Feel it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the level I had it on it. It might have got. Oh, the familiarity of this. Where did you get this? This thing is amazing.

I got it online from Therotopper.com. I believe you guys should sponsor this podcast. Yes, it's an amazing machine that calms me down immediately. It's stimulating you bilaterally, which means on each side. And so. Maybe what I'd like to do, Willis, is have. an EMDR therapist on the show one day. You should have Stephen Danzinger.

Yeah? Oh, come on. He's the king. Is he really? Yeah. Okay. And he's also a little wild and weird, so you would love him. You would love him so much.

He made EMDR shoes. What? Yeah. How? What do you mean? They tap? Yes. Wow.

He's brilliant. Yeah. What it does is it, it calms your brain down to wear. your brain has to focus on the stimulation going back and forth so that it then doesn't focus on the emotion that's in the, because your brain runs your emotions as far as I'm concerned. The emotions come up and I'm like, what's the brain thinking? Because it's obviously the brain's doing something that I don't realize it's happening because now I get an emotion coming up.

So that's why whenever I do get an uncomfortable emotion, I try to name it first, like what's happening. Right. If I can name it, it kind of starts to calm me down. Sometimes it doesn't. But this does. I hope. You can name it. You can tame it.

If you can tame it, you can tame it. I did want to say something about talk therapy. Yes. Because for people with severe trauma or any big tea, little tea, complex trauma, whatever kind of trauma it is, sometimes it can work at cross purposes because as you're talking about it. It keeps you in the space. Well, you're retrying, it's like tearing a, ripping a bandaid off of a wound that hasn't healed. Yeah.

You're re-traumatizing yourself. Sometimes you need deeper therapy. But talk therapy is really great. great for surrounding. I mean, I had two different therapists for a while. In fact, I might go sit back and see my. I had two, I had three at the same time at one point, yeah. Because they all specialize in something different.

And sometimes I just needed to talk. And sometimes the story isn't necessarily the problem. It's what's going on in your body. Absolutely. Because of this, because trauma survivors, of course we have memories, but we also have, you know, cycling thoughts. Rumination. We ruminate.

We have, you know, startle effects. We feel like we're in danger when we're not. I heard a text tone the other day in the wild at the mall. Fucking scared the hell out of me. I thought they were texting me again. And because I just would get bombarded with these texts that were so abusive. It was the same tone. And it was the same tone.

And I thought I got that tone out of my phone. Like nothing else, like we'll do that tone. But somebody else had it. And I went, okay, you're fine. That's how trauma works. Yeah. The body keeps the score. Your body remembers that.

I'll tell you, can I tell a story? Yeah. Okay. So when I went to do American graffiti, I was 12 years old, and like I said, I'd only played Santa Claus in the school, and never acted before. Apparently, and I have literally no memory of this, I was at, Shane was 9, and I was at the Directors Guild,

and there was this American Graffiti screening, and Lucas was there, and then there was a panel afterwards, and so on and so forth, and George Kurtz came up to me. He was the executive producer, and he said, Do you remember when you were 12 and you got off the plane all by yourself carrying your turquoise nogahide suitcase? Oh, my God. And I said, no.

And he said, do you remember that George and I said, where's your mother? And I said, no. But at this point, my heart starts beating faster. My body's remembering, but I'm not. My hands start getting sweaty. my breath starts coming shorter and I'm trying to act like, whoa, what do you mean?

I just don't remember. And he said, yeah, we almost had to recast because your mother wouldn't come and be your guardian. And so I became your guardian and that's why you lived with us. Oh my God.

You don't remember that? Not even now, Shane, 30 years later, I have no memory of it. I have no memory of it whatsoever. But your body remember. The body remembered it. The fear you must have had as a 12-year-old.

Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. So the body tells you things, then you're like, oh, wow, what is this? That's a part of naming it. Even if you don't know what it is, you can say, oh. Yeah. At least you were able to be, yeah.

Now you can say that's what it is. My body remembers. Whatever it is. And by naming it, it's the first step of the path. And that's like naming it, saying, oh, my body's remembering something. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Okay. That was a good story to stop on.

I'm going to just rattle off some comments from the chat that have come through. Oh, okay. Thank you, Willis. Then you all can just quickly respond or just say hi. Beth agrees with Mack that Val sings well. So you may have to do a special karaoke episode. Marcia A says that she can hear Val's voice in Wolfie's voice. Oh, my God. That's an honor. I think he sounds more like

he sounds like him Who am I talking about? Rachel C77 wants you to talk every day because she's loving this. I would love, yes, I would love to have Mac hair every day as well.

Beth Fletcher doesn't care how she sounds. She's singing at the top of her lungs. Oh, I love that, Beth. Yes. Nancy Ann, 1980, she's at work and just jumped on to say hello and she adores you both

and she's sending hugs. Thank you, Nancy. Here's a fun one. My Mitzi noticed on an episode of one day at a time that after Val married Ed, there were two Van Halen posters hanging in the bedroom. There used to be old John posters, and then there was, and I used to wear the Van Halen necklace for a while until, oh, God, a tragic story. I don't even want to get into it. I don't know if you remember it. Uh-uh.

I can't. I can't talk about it right now. Tell me another time. I will. Lots of questions about loving your glasses. Where do you get your glasses? Lari's are similar to yours. Rachel wants to know where your glasses are.

I actually get them from my doctor. He's got to... And also, like, four out of my five or six prescripted glasses are from Drew's flower line. I think you can get them at Walmart. Barbie, on the topic of glasses, her only issues with wearing glasses is that she ruins them falling asleep in bed watching television. I always just want to take them off. These are the frames that I live in.

Yes, I love the roundbook. I have round ones like that. They're very Annie Hall. Yeah. But my actual not sunglasses are the same frames. Do you have readers? Do you? I don't need readers.

You don't. Okay. I'm going back to my doctor. My glasses glasses are progressives. Okay. And I get them online from classic specs. Okay. I love them.

Yeah, there's some really great and expensive places. Peepers is a good one. Yeah. I have a lot of peepers at home. But this, this classic specs, you send them your prescription. You know your favorite frames and they put it in. I'd have to get my prescription. Okay.

My prescription is at my doctor's office and I just like, they just have it in the computer. Oh. And they just do the glasses for me. Yeah. Okay. A couple more, and then we can get to the full reveal. Uh-oh. Judy Monza loves hug therapy.

Yes, I love a good hug. Kitty mama. Well, I don't want to hug strangers. Yeah. I just, I mean, like, you gave me a hug this morning when I walked in. I was like, oh, God, that feels so good. Well, yeah, that's totally different. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Kitty Mama, she has one of Ed's quotes on her notifications. It's, I'm just a punk kid who plays guitar. Nice. And it came up as you two were talking about forgiveness. Maybe it's a sign that he's there with you. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad.

I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. and today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem.

I feel him with me a lot. He sends me feathers. I'm finding feathers all the time. I find crow feathers all the time. Wow. And crow is my spirit animal. I love crows. They're the most amazing.

birds. Do you know where that band got there? They're like wolves because they, they, they pick their family and they stay in their family. And you can actually put stuff out for crows and then they'll start bringing you shiny things. I've tried. I keep putting like peanuts out. But then the squirrels eat them. Yes. But I love the squirrels too. I have feeders all over, all around the property because I love to get the birds. The cats love it. They look out the window all the time. I had squirrel infestation at my house. No, you're not into squirrels. I'm not into squirrels. Tree squirrels love you. High up there. Ground squirrels, not so much. And then just the last two, a lot of people agree with you, Val, about an EMDR therapist on the show.

Carol T. thinks it would be great. I would love that. And then the last one, and then we can go to the full reveal, is Louis S, or Lewis S. Loves, if you can name it, you can tame it. Wow. Thank you. Andrew. Thank you.

That's Stephen Levin. Yeah, it's a good quote that's been around for a while, but thank you. for reminding us of it. All right, you guys, that's going to be it for all of our YouTube friends. I want to thank all of you for showing up. I want to thank all of you for watching. If you would like to see the big reveal, you can head on over to www.com and sign up if you would like.

I believe the first month's free, or the first week is free. Yeah. First month is free with the code YouTube. Oh, the first month is free with the code YouTube. So there you go. And let me just jump in here. continuing on is not going to break the bank. No.

I mean, it's incredibly reasonable. When I went on with the secret code, I was like, oh, my God, I should probably just pay for this. But I didn't. Well, because we have so much content. I mean, we almost have too much content, but I just, there was one of the things when I was talking with visible things about starting this. These are great guys. Two of them are here right now. And London, who does all of our socials and takes care of my kitty cats when I'm gone.

We love you, London. I was very, I was like, I really want to make sure there's a lot of content so people feel like they're full. Right. They have a bunch of different, like, TV shows to watch. They have a, um, a podcast. We didn't realize we were going to be doing a second podcast with Hot in Cleveland. And I'm hoping at one point, we do a third podcast with you starring in it. That would be so cool.

And you helping people, because I know that is your big, you like helping people. What about Patrick? Patrick, my brother? Yeah. Are you kidding? Doesn't he have, don't you guys have a, oh no, that's David. David, yeah. David. Sorry, I love all your brothers. Oh, my God, and David, undeveloped, yes.

Yeah. I mean, I watched something that came up on Instagram the other day and I was like, now I have to watch this podcast. Give your all your brothers my love. I will. I will. I'm going to be seeing Patrick a little bit later today because he's with the cool. Yes, one last goodbye to YouTube.

And then we were going to go to the full reveal. Bye. What is the full reveal? Oh, okay. For YouTube members, I know Valerie's, members know this. For YouTube members, the full reveal is where we do an extra 10, 20, I don't know how long the... Made it! Made it! Part of the Beast is the must-see adventure of the year. It's just you and me, boy. One of the most extraordinary on-screen brunt you'll ever see. I'll give you home.

Brad Pitt. Art of the Beast. September 25th. Get tickets now. It will go on. It depends.