Goes Without Saying - #2 DEEP & JUICY Q&A: money, love and big death energy

Episode Date: March 17, 2020

ready to get deep? welcome to part 2 of our extremely personal and triggering chat! join us (sephy & wing) as we ask each other some heavy, juicy questions that we don't usually have the opportunity to discuss. do we fear our own deaths? would you murder someone for money? in this raw episode of Goes Without Saying, we're not holding back. speak your mind on our instagram! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wendy's has a new breakfast deal. Mix and match two items of your choice for only $4. Breakfast wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small seasoned potatoes or small hot coffee. Choose two for $4 at Wendy's. Available for a limited time at participating Wendy's in Canada. Taxes extra. Hello and welcome back to Hire Priestess.

I'm Persephone. And I'm Erin. And this is part two of the very amazing personal deep triggering Q&A that we started in the last episode. It was so much fun. I'm actually really really excited for this. I'm like still shaking. I live for, I mean we live for that. Yeah a DMC. Fully. Let's go. Yeah okay. So a question I had for you. Maybe this isn't a question, a numero uno question. No, go for it. This is one where I was just thinking on my way back from the shops today and I thought I'll ask you that.

Are you scared of your own death? So as in not the death of other people, because yes, that's horrific. But do you fear your own death? I don't actively fear my own death. Actively. but do you fear your own death i don't actively fear my own death actively i think i fear um i don't fear my own death i wouldn't use the word fear i think i'm like curious as to what the day will be yeah and what what will be the final nail in the coffin what will be the actual thing that sets me the nail in the coffin yeah exactly yeah but i don't actively fear it and i don't fear death although literally just this very day i got off the trainer stop early

because i thought there was a terrorist in the toilet so he was on the loo i don't actively fear death but i don't want to die right now because i'm having loads of fun yeah i know what you mean I don't fear my death I get overwhelmed with like oh god that's gonna happen like that's an inevitability but I'm not scared of it I sometimes get a bit like oh shit that's that's coming who's a coming in the sense that I'm not like shaking in my boots about it in what way do you think oh no that's coming as in like kind of the time is ticking no it not isn't oh god there's so much to do blah blah blah I don't want that to happen as in i wonder what that's gonna feel like so you're picturing quite a painful death then it seems no no no slow and painful no as in the feeling of like slipping away do you know what i mean like i picture myself like 80 years old in a

deathbed in a deathbed you i was just immediate i just always go for i'm asleep i picture myself feeling like i'm dying going like like holding someone's hand and being like like feeling my like life leave my body it's really interesting that i genuinely is something i've never thought i'm a psychopath the feeling of life yeah leaving my body because in films it's like one last thing the treasure is buried in there yeah but you're kind of i kind of think like god what does that feel like that moment where you're like trying to push through your sentence and you're like i'm dead that's fascinating i've never ever ever ever thought about it that's probably healthy that you've never thought about it

well i just don't think that's it definitely is what's gonna happen to me i'm gonna like have a really horrific traumatic no but i was hoping that was it i'd rather that i would love to die in my sleep at an old age i just assume that's my that's my out sleep death sleep death at an old age kind of just had a barbecue like all my grandkids are downstairs in the spare rooms bbq honestly a big old bbq your grandkids are downstairs yeah when you wake up next morning what's for breakfast grandma they're shaking you grandma wake up wake up yeah but it's too late i'm already dead that's not what i want what do you want what would be your request request a death well i'm definitely old as fuck yeah i've like broke i'm in the guinness world book of records as like old twice oldest living full life yeah i've i've honestly nailed it i've killed it

basically you've killed it and it's time kills you now my time has come yeah and i'm very aware of it i think i'm one of those old people that's like just like well we all die that's how it goes you've seen the video on twitter recently that is of an old woman i think it's her 94th birthday and they're filming her like with her big old cake in front of her it's gonna happy birthday grandma or whatever and she goes ah i hope this is the last one see that's the energy that i would hope yeah i would hope that i've had enough by the end yeah well i kind of feel like at the same time i'm having so much fun but i do also feel like god i've seen a lot. Yeah, but we're 23.

What is it? Like, life is short, but it's the longest thing I've ever known. Like, it really is the longest thing I've ever known I could ever dream of. Yeah, literally. But I also, at this point, obviously we don't want it to end. Like, I want to, I've always said I want to peak in my 50s. Yeah, well, I think that's not, I think that's healthy. I want to be, I don't want to peak in my, like, when I'm, i want to be i don't want to peak in my like when i'm like 23 well it's interesting because we have all these conversations i think people think people want us to peak now and we are kind of said that to me now exactly you're most attractive to

men when you're 23 it's like oh okay cool good to know well you should see me in my 50s then yeah you should just wait till you see oh my god do you remember that woman i still think about her we were in um i was telling my mom about her the other day i know i know we're thinking the same woman kind of the witch the only way to describe her amazing we were in a cafe in brighton me and erin having a lovely vegan lunch was it cool like wukiki mama yes yes um and it's got cow print on the outside it's very stunning and very kind it's opposite it's right next to our favorite kind of um crystal shop that we always used to just go in and hold the crystals and be like can you feel the energy stunning and we went in and there was this woman sitting on a table on her own like reading a book and she had the most she was probably around she

was with her husband really but you wrote him out of the story there was a random man bothering her. There was a man bothering her the whole time. And she had the most amazing long silver hair down to her hips. And me and Erin just thought, that is the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life. Honestly, oh, I remember I called her Mother Nature.

Like Mother Nature has entered the building. Yeah. And she's a stunner. Oh, I've spoke about her to my mum and I just genuinely think I've never seen anyone as beautiful. The goal. So she had very long, silky silver hair. Yeah. And she was just wearing like an immaculate outfit and she was sitting in a vegan cafe

just like. Her skin was glowing. Honestly. Ethereal. Genuinely prettier than any 20 year old I've ever seen. In the world. Yeah. So that's how I know I'm going to at 50 yeah because i've seen it done i've seen it done before my very eyes i've never seen anyone more stunning because you and i've never addressed

that i don't think after that day no we just and we've both held on to it in our respective lives yeah she was stunning almost into a room what an impressive woman i know she's done great things you are impressive yeah i'm impressed and she just has a great name zelda oh my god she's so called zelda she's called like zelda free free forest and she's got like she kind of had no kids but she's like written like seven books and they're all her children and kind of that man wasn't her husband it was like an elf but he's shape-shifting so that he could walk around like in normal life she like sculpted him out of clay and then bought him to life that's what i'm thinking love it honestly she was like powerful yeah what was

the question how are you scared of your own death? How do you think, oh, so you think you're going to die in your sleep? Yeah. When I was younger, I used to think that, I used to always think, I grew up in London and I would always think I'm going to get stabbed. Really? I always thought I'm going to die by being stabbed right here and pointing to kind of my, my tummy.

Yeah. Like kind of my lower right hand side stomach. I kind of, and I would have dreams. I remember once I had a dream i was i must have been like 10 maybe younger no i would say about 10 we were well me myself and i was in the cinema and i everyone was getting stabbed left right and center so i ran into the toilet and they barged the Oh no. And they just ripped it off and stabbed me. And I awoke. Oh God. Yeah.

I was startled. The power of dreams is insane. Because now you've like internalised that. I was like, okay, cool. Now I know. Well, I thought for a while I'm going to get stabbed there. I'm scared of cinema toilets as well. Yeah, well they're haunted.

Because I had a nightmare that when I was honestly about five, and I don't think I knew that rape was a thing, but I had a dream that I got raped in the cinema toilet and I know the exact cinema toilet is in Oxford and I'm still scared of them my mum comes in with me still because I'm like I'm not going in those alone I was so young I don't think I knew it was rape but something bad like happened in those toilets in my dream that's horrible yeah it was horrific and I was like a man in there and I was like why are you in the woman's toilets five years old five years old with a full woman's voice and why are you in the woman's room well i've always been assertive yeah and what do you think you're doing in here mister

this is for girls that's hilarious um you're encroaching on a woman's space um but yeah i've always had a fear of those toilets and cinema toilets as a whole and that's why i think it's weird when you go to the toilet in the middle of a horror movie on your own i think see you never yeah horrendous haunting isn't it because they're silent well i find that weird that you had i find it weird that you were so young and it was rape or whatever it's like is that i hate to say it did it prophecy or i think did it happen what and you forgot and it's like is that i hate to say it did it prophecy or i think did it happen what and you forgot and it's like came out in a dream it's a weird dream oh like that didn't happen but that's bad yeah

that's what i just that's what i just thought and that's the horror movie that i'm watching in the cinema well i think more likely i kind of saw it on tv like something happened to someone in a toilet i'm like, oh God. And I've imposed rape on it in like later life. Right, because it's kind of a violation by a man in a woman's space. There was a man in the woman's toilets and he attacked me in the dream or something.

I don't know. And now you can understand that as rape. I might be like eight, who knows. Cinema toilets are haunting. What's that word for the place that is kind of like a place that is only, it's like a temporary space, i.e. cinema toilets or the airport. You know, have you seen that where it's like a place that is only it's like a temporary space i.e cinema toilets or

the airport you know have you seen that where it's like those places are so haunting because they're only ever temporary but you always feel like you're there for too long yeah it's like you need to get out of there that's horrific it is that feeling isn't it yeah it's weird you know there's weird like tumblr words it's like the word for when you realize that everybody loves you oh i love it do you know what i mean i'm kind of like tell me the moment when you realize that everybody loves you oh i love it do you know what i mean i'm kind of like tell me the moment when you realize that everyone has their own lives beyond yours i want to know the moment that i realize everyone loves me it's like well i don't think that i realized that a long time ago big process energy that's like oh tell me the word i'll use

it non-stop but you know one of those like real no i don't know it's like a real classic tumblr post like format but they post really instagram and the definition yeah and it's kind of like a real and it's like the word for when the light hits the ocean and it shimmers i've told you that in japanese no i know that's why that's why i gave you a look because i'd say is that oh god i'm like oh that's my tumblr page no but it's that sort of thing it'll be like quite an aesthetic yeah in quotes word i love the sound yeah and that's why cinema toilets so gross because they're just temporary and you're passing through and also it's like you're in a hurry it's like i need to get in and out because i'm watching a film you go for the from the intensity of a movie that is so like loud and like everyone's so engrossed in this life that none of you are in and then it's like

what i'm going to i'm going to take a piss in a bright like ding ding ding light room and there's no one in there and everyone else is in their own worlds in these cinemas or if there is someone else in there i'm suspicious of you no that made me shiver if there's someone else in there even worse that's worst case scenario really worst case you and one other person in the cinema toilets get out it's the honestly get out okay this is quite a spooky question but we're already feeling a bit spooked no no but kind of a it's a nice spooky okay love it i think i mean um i love spooky i think you're like i'm a bit spooked though for some reason when we record in this room we get spooked you get big time i don't know why but go on you can sense presence of a demon don't i don't need the confirmation yeah but go on um

from left to right she's scanning the room big time but go on um my question is is there anywhere in the world that you have never been but feel like you know what it's like to live there in my dreams yeah you feel like you have a connection to it it's not even that like it goes so beyond that for me so i have dreams all the time so basically yeah one answer one that would be like yeah japan i was obsessed but now i have been there because i feel like i knew it so well and when i went there i was like fuck i love this place yeah but i always in my dreams have recurring dreams about these like hills and i know these hills so well but they don't exist that's weird and there's this one

tunnel that i know so well and every time i go into it in my dream it's like i fucking know this tunnel and i'm at the tunnel and i'm at these hills and they're like sort of weird pathways and stuff and i know them i could kind of draw you a map but i've never been there they don't exist that's weird yeah and i know they're in oxfordshire i know they're near my house that's the feeling that the feeling i get is i know they're close to me but they're not there and how long have you had that years and years and years like honestly since i was like 10 like the hill that no sorry the tunnel i've known that tunnel since i was like seven it's the iconic and it's the feeling when you're going up to the tunnel what in a car yeah no you're kind of approaching the tunnel and i'll be in the hills sometimes not lucid like i'll be i'm often running away from things in these you are

making this a bit spooky it wasn't supposed to be it's like you asked me about like a nice i thought you were gonna say yeah i love japan next question i did and then i added a whole other bit but like i'll often be going yeah i'll be in the in the hills kind of running and then i'll be like oh god i'm at the i in the hills kind of running and then i'll be like oh god i'm at the i'm near the tunnel and they give you a bad feeling no the tunnel's not bad it's kind of just like weird it's like oh i know where i am now i'm by the tunnel but it's kind of more than that it's like kind of a spooky if anyone's seen like spirited away the film's first way there's a tunnel in that they go through and then they go into like another world and it's

almost that aesthetic of like approaching that tunnel and you know it's significant but you don't know why it's and it's like really familiar to you i know the tunnel it's not the tunnel can you describe it it's like a brick old-fashioned tunnel i know what like a big tunnel that could fit like a lorry or like a small human tunnel no no not small human a car tunnel oh god i don't like this at all what about you can we panic now any haunting dreams any haunting things but what where do you know that's geographical that you haven't been well not so much no yeah but i very much feel like i could live in canada tomorrow and it wouldn't be an issue oh wow i love canada and australia i feel like i've lived there in a past life like i feel like i have a real kind of um commonwealth countries like i really feel like um i could just

be there tomorrow and it would just be like nobody why canada and australia i really don't know i think i i think it is a commonwealth thing because i think there's like a british um yeah like familiarity about it there's just something about yeah do you get that yes and no like i would love to visit i'd love to go there canada and australia would be one of those and new zealand yeah can you tie them together though do you get what i mean can i tie them no i don't tie them at all to me they're really tied together canada would be tied to like america and i definitely would not feel at home in america i think canada is so separate from like to me canada is not not nothing to do with america at all can i tell you something funny yeah i love something

funny well it's like not funny haha it's like funny like a bit weird and i think it is maybe comes from the canada thing i when i was probably like 12 i like met loads well i like met loads of friends on the internet and one of them was in canada and we had like a romantic relationship what yeah and it's kind of something that i don't ever yeah it was on wait how old were you i would have been really young i would say actually probably like 11 12 oh my god okay so when you were 11 so you know they're a pedophile right yeah i was like, no, they weren't, but... Did you ever? No. Okay. Did they ask for any pictures? No.

Okay, so go on, tell me more. And I think that makes me feel like Canada is really familiar, because it was, like, introduced to me from a really young age. From a paedophile. Yeah, but it wasn't a paedophile. So you spoke to kind of a 12-year-old boy on the internet. Yeah. And what did you talk about?

God fucking knows, like, 12-year-old things. the internet. Yeah. And what did you talk about? God fucking knows. 12-year-old things. Yeah, well, he was from Canada. What website was this? Pixo. Did you have a Pixo? No, but you've mentioned it to me. Yeah, I think it really was a big thing.

It was very, like, a big thing in my childhood years. Very formative. But how was it a romantic relationship? It was kind of you are boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah, it was like, oh, we're, like, together. It's actually really absurd. So when you say you've actually had two boyfriends you've actually had three yeah i guess one was just really long distance but it almost wasn't we weren't together i could have had a boyfriend in real life and it wouldn't have mattered got it okay it was kind of

like we were all playing into this like online thing and you could be partnered partnered but do you get what i mean everyone was kind of tied off and like yeah there were all these different like groups and like clicks it's a very different vibe to like club penguin i was on really it was very adult yeah that's like okay and you would so you would make your whole pixel like all the layouts and like it was like full-on coding it was like all html like what the hell yeah that's why i know like html like colors and stuff what the fuck okay that's really weird and it took like quite a big part it's actually really fucking strange the internet is weird time of the internet because that couldn't really happen

in the same way now now it's like okay you're one of those people you would have skyped but also it's like there's a just a different kind of person that would do that now i mean that happens on like a micro way like tinder is not is that not a micro version of that yeah yeah yeah like you you meet them but um we would use different names yeah exactly they're like you're hiding behind this weird avatar yeah exactly it was very much separate from anything that was real but it still was important to me it's really interesting but i think it happens now like gaming communities definitely have like kind of whole worlds that they live in and they're married within those lives well the other day i was on um twitch what are you doing

like which is like you've got this whole other life okay yeah i know what yeah yeah well i don't think i well maybe i i don't know if i would had i not be on it now because there's the sim YouTuber. I was going to say, I know you're on it for the Sims. Yeah. It's all for the Sims. Yeah. And I can so see, I mean, they have, so this is how separate this is from my world. Like that. I just don't understand. I said, I put in the chat, why do I have a bin next to my name? This is while a stream is going on so someone's streaming and everyone's like talking about like click on it like blah blah and i'm like why is there a bin next to my name could someone help me this is rude and someone replied saying oh it's because someone it's because you're subscribed and then someone else said someone must have gifted you a

sub and i was like what and i was like digging through my profile like what i've like just got twitch yeah it was like the and it was said like five days ago you subbed or whatever yeah i was like what someone gifted me a sub it's like oh i'm participating in this yeah really fucking weird and that is how like i just i'm so separate from it that i'm like why is there a bin next to my name meanwhile they're all like oh thank you for subscribing blah blah blah and they're all using these like email like yeah it's really strange that honestly is the strangest thing i've ever heard such a subculture that i'm just not a part of but i'm like raising the surface of and now i'm subscribed someone's paying for my subscription and i was like what i can't even say thanks i

must have missed the message it's like real like fucking like 85 year old woman on the internet for the first time like what someone gifted me something i didn't say thanks like okay i have a question for you now and it's based on a premise of a film i'm hoping you haven't seen and it's a really ridiculous film like okay came out years ago starring cameron diaz called the box no i haven't seen it you're safe has anyone seen that no no i probably got it out from like blockbusters like back in the day yeah dreamy times you'll like this go on i remember my one distinct memory of blockbusters like back in the day yeah i just love blockbusters dreamy times you'll like this go on i remember my one distinct memory of blockbusters i remember picking up a movie like picking up the box yeah yeah and being like that looks so good be like can we get it can we

get it it had like bunnies and like shit on the front it like it's like pastel pink and blue like really like beautiful like real like child film yeah and my mum was like no no put that down put that down and it was a horror film oh my god and it was like and you were scared yeah and then i was like oh fuck because like all the bunnies that had blood on them or something but it's like it actually looked it was kind of selling as a kid's film like on purpose but it's like really horrible yeah it's horrible i used to have an ocd in blockbusters that the last thing i looked at is what i'd like become oh and so i always used to focus on do you remember the film aquamarine

yes the picture of jojo from aquamarine on the front or the brown hair yeah close my eyes and then look down at your feet like where's your no no because i'd become the feet kind of go out eyes closed oh my god like the last thing I looked at, I would become. It's like really bonkers. Right. But I kind of found that- Well, I meant look down at your feet for your mermaid tail. No, no, no.

I wouldn't actually become it, but I would not want to look at kind of- Because it's something called scary. Scary, and then walk out, and it's like, oh God, now that I've become- I don't even know what it was, but- You know what really shook me as a child? I don't know why this is so horrifying. Yeah. I remember watching The Ring as a kid the seven days thing as in the japanese one or the like ink the american one i can't remember because the japanese one is like well i wouldn't watch it

again oh you scared me even doing that why are we getting so spooky i don't know but anyway that really scared me as a child and all those rumors about the baby died the actual actor of the baby died oh i didn't hear that oh anyway it's horrific okay so the box so the box it's a film to cut starring cameron diaz and the premise that they have and i want to ask you would you do this okay so the premise is you get a letter one day and it says to you we will give you a million pounds but maybe let's make it a billion pounds because a million it's like well we understand now the difference between a make it a billion pounds because a million is like... Well, we understand now the difference between a million and a billion.

I hope we all do. Yeah. You're going to get a billion pounds, okay? Okay. Yeah, you're going to get a lot of money. Yeah. But kind of realistic. Okay, all right.

I don't think it's realistic anyway, but yeah. You're going to get a billion pounds. Okay. But someone in the world that you do not know, you've never met this person, is going to die. You'll never meet them. You won't know who it is. They're not've never met this person is going to die you never meet them you won't know who it is they're not in your life they're gonna die but you're gonna get a billion pounds would you do it i don't think i i already immediately i'm like actually gonna

cry i can't i can't i wouldn't i could never i just couldn't could you not though i honestly think i couldn't bear i couldn't bear it which is actually really interesting because i was thinking the other day when i was younger i would really think that's just something wasn't it okay was that your foot no i thought it was your foot i thought it was your foot guys okay if you can't hear what's going on me and erin are kind of having a bit of a nightmare we're getting kind of um progressively more and more spooked as the day goes on. We've had to stop recording quite a few times. Quite a few, yeah.

Because we're hearing quite a few weird noises and stuff, so we're getting a bit spooked. Bumps in the night. What do you mean bumps in the night? Anyway, anyway. Right, when I was younger... What are you looking at? Nothing. I wasn't looking at anything.

Oh my gosh. This is why. Can someone pay for us to go to a studio because we get scared with kind of some assistance because it's like i need a mediator in the room i can't be like alone in a quiet room anyway it's since we bought up the film us we bought it up i think we've cut that bit out now because we got a bit spooked but we're actually getting a bit scared i'm getting really i'm getting a bit sweaty okay right okay go on i was thinking earlier or the other day when i was younger i would watch things like saw or i would hear about it whatever the notions that have like giving your life and survival of the fittest and things like that who's gonna survive yeah and i would always think i would give my life for anybody i would rather the other person die no matter what because in my mind

when i was young you'd rather the other person die no i'd rather i die than the other person i'd rather i die i said i don't care who it is i will take my life for you because i had that low i think um understanding understanding of my own life like i actually kind of game of thrones when ned's like you think my life is some precious thing you think i whatever yeah yeah and i was very like sacrificial yeah like i would have done anything kind of for any other human being i saw their chance at life more valuable just inherently more valuable than my own whereas now i'm like fuck you i'm having loads of fun like it wasn't that i wanted to die at all at all yeah but i just had no i placed more worth in others lives than my own whereas now depends on who you are yeah i'm not dying for some i'm not dying for any old tom dick or harry

no absolutely not tom dick or harry yeah i'm not dying for any odd no there's no way whereas now but i still wouldn't take a billion or whatever for somebody i just wouldn't be able to live so she is like absolutely not this is a million that cameron's dealing with a million pounds and she's saying absolutely not absolutely there's no way that i would do that but then as the time goes past and all you've got to do is press this button and it's in a box and then this happens and blah blah and the box is sitting there and she's like no no but then in a moment where the bills aren't going her kid isn't blah blah blah like everything's gone wrong she's like fuck it just and it hits the button and then it's like fuck what have i done obviously nothing happens but then in a week later the money

arrives and she's like oh god okay and this is spoilers for the box yeah which i think was a box office flop um this is big time spoilers but then it turns out in the end the guilt starts getting her she starts like seeing dead people everywhere blah blah blah and in the end like in her mind she's going crazy um and then in the end it turns out the box is given to someone else and the person that dies when they hit the button is you if you choose to press it then you're the random person that dies for the next person or something yeah i was gonna say i think also what would get me would be some sort of twist yeah in the sense that it's too good to be true yeah and i think i would go straight to the police yeah absolutely i would honestly be so like i don't want to be i think that might be some

clause in the film about you can't go to the police yeah got you got you they've covered that base well i just could never i i just couldn't i don't think i would i like to think i wouldn't i don't think you would i don't think well also i don't think i would i don't imagine but then you've got to imagine this is us from like a privileged perspective of i would never press it because i've got enough and i would never press it but okay so imagine you're starving in your life and your life depends on getting money then are you pressing well i also think it's not just the privilege of like wealth but the privilege of like um some sense because i think anyone with some sense would know there's going to be some sort of consequence beyond someone dying

yeah like it's coming back to bite you yeah it's going to come back in some way and i think also anyone would use their common sense and think why on earth would someone be giving me a billion million whatever in a box with a button sent to my house and what do they get do you know what i mean just immediately you would know yeah that something has gone wrong there more than what you're being told totally and i just think you wouldn't but no one would sense would trust it you might think okay there's a social experiment or whatever i can't remember what the options they go through in the film because i watched it about 15 years ago and it wasn't good at the time um but yeah that film kind of has stayed with me

obviously your immediate answer is no but then it's like wait but then everything goes wrong and the back of the box is sitting there like do you press well that's the thing i think my immediate answer being no isn't just because i wouldn't i don't value money over life for somebody else's life it's not even about that or like the guilt that i would have if somebody else had it literally is just i'm too smart to believe someone's sending a box to my house yeah it's gonna give me money it's like no i've been scammed out of god knows what yeah i've learned my lesson it literally is like this is a scam written all over it yeah big red box with a big button inside not okay i have a question for you love it i'm ready hit me hit me

with your best shot baby hit me with your shot um kind of the glee version yeah kind of pitch perfect i've never seen it but i will get around to seeing it one day oh i love it um okay the question has nothing to do with that question is would you be in pitch perfect i would be rebel wilson what would you be for amy yeah i guess i would be anna kendrick no we're the only two people that i know i would be let me think that's actually a really interesting question okay so there is one guy that i love in this and his name is benji and he's benji i wouldn't be benji but i love him okay just honorable mention honorable mention I'd be Anna Kendrick I'd be Becca oh you would but honorable mention to Benji who comes out then he's the loser of the film he just does magic tricks and he wants to be in the in the show really badly and he's

like just a complete lame-o he comes out at the end and he sings it all the music stops he goes I've got the magic in me oh wow shivers yeah and he sings that and he does a really good drop he's like every time i touch that job it turns and then he's like magic and it builds up again and everyone is just like wow benji like we didn't know he had it in so he gets his moment he gets the moment where he has the magic in him love that for him so that's an honorable mention to benji okay but you would be anna kendrick i actually think i would be what's the main guy called jesse who's that the main guy's called jesse he's quite cool he's got quite an easy life what does he look like though who is it um unknown actor oh right he's probably no name unnamed um okay the

question is which character would you least like to be in the drama right now oh bumper this isn't real just because i haven't seen it you're like pulling out fake names i wouldn't be him who is it i wouldn't want to be him because he's an absolute loser got you he's like a loser than bendy different kind of loser kind of like he thinks he's the shit he's like head of the the's acapella and he's a wanker yeah he's horrible would not want to be bumper okay fair enough i'm with you i completely agree go on okay the question is what's one thing you never got the chance to say to somebody oh my god it's really difficult it's not difficult i mean i'm super

lucky in a sense but i've never lost anyone that i would want to say something something to um so i've been super lucky on that touch wood yeah i'm touching wood for you the only person and this is so self-indulgent of me that i never got anything never never got a chance to say something to is my younger self do you know what i'm stunning i'm stunned okay yeah because the only person i couldn't is my younger self or people i knew back in back in time um but yeah i would just love to say like just chill the fuck out to my younger self what age um all ages i'm just all the time every day you get a voice memo from me saying right just calm it down when you're swinging on your bunk beds crying chill out just like just don't worry

so much just take your time like everything's gonna be fine love that what about you just to cut back did anyone tell you that when you were younger yeah but nothing hits home like your future self it's quite rare experience it's like god not only does time travel exist like it's all good i also need to chill out yeah i need to chill out yeah um but yeah i think people probably did say just like just don't worry you worry too much you like overthink like you don't overthink too much but at the time you're kind of thinking yeah but i need to i need to get my gcse's then i need to get my a levels and then i need to get into uni and it's like wait but now i know all that happens it's like just fucking chill the worrying didn't help you okay got

worrying isn't what got you there i love that what would you say to your future self if you could make sure your future self remembers like one thing. To my future self? Fuck. But I'm the Dumbo. I can't tell the enlightened version of myself. Well, you're hoping you'll get you. I do.

Okay. I know I get smarter. Do you know you get smarter? So I'm going to stay at this level. Let's not fake this thing. I don't regress. It's not what's in the stars. It is crazy to me that people regress who regresses

there's one person i'm thinking of i can't say yeah some people do regress and it's not a pretty sight why do you think people regret because they all i think people just can't handle the truth you can't handle the truth i think people can't handle like reality why do people regress because of capitalism oh really. I'm thinking in particular of this one case study that I have. Why has that person regressed? I think it's because they're not up for the challenge of progression. Yeah almost like I want or it's almost like an obsession with the past like I need things to stay the same as they were and it halts your learning. Yeah. Because it's like no no I want things back as they were. It's like yeah but the way you want

things back. Is over. Is when you're a child. it is such a thing that people are i always think this people are incredibly loyal to their nostalgic selves their eight-year-old selves their 11-year-old selves that they forget that the future could be better and they're so disloyal to their own their own self the only self that matters yeah honestly it doesn't dwell to do it it doesn't do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. Awful. Little Dumbledore quote. Fucking hell.

Awful. What would you say to your past? No, not your past. What was the question? What's one thing you never got the chance to say to somebody? You never got the chance to say, yeah. Well, I agree. Yeah, I haven't lost anybody.

So anybody, anything that I would want to say to someone, I very much still could, but I'm choosing not to to and there are definitely things that i keep in my arsenal that i'm like i'll need to have a chat about that one day like what well there are things that i know i need to say to my parents when they're ready to hear it that's amazing when do you think when what are you waiting for well i need i need to see a bit more growth oh we're getting real now they won't listen they're never in a million years listen but quite bleak if they do like my dad kind of randomly goes to listen he like scrolls forward five minutes he's like that's the worst part to get to but i just think my me and my and my parents my mom my dad and i are three very different people yes and we

communicate in different ways and we act in different ways and we understand things in different ways there are things that i know even to be fact that they are not ready to hear i'm sure there's loads of things in my life that i'm not ready to hear but i think do you know i mean i think you're ready to hear a lot yeah i think i'm ready to hear a lot as well but no one seems to care no one's saying it there are just a few things that i think when the day comes when there's kind of milestones that or like landmarks that need to be passed like what though like what are you actually like tangibly waiting for i think for example with my mum i think um this is a week i mean we will do a whole episode on parents on parents and our own experiences but

my mum's my mum and i's current relationship is built on a foundation of lies no it's a bed of lies honestly built on a foundation of a mutual um disconnect in the way that we have seen a past turn of events we can speak and communicate and be in each other's lives now because we see the past differently yeah and i think one day we will get to a point where we will our understandings will be more synonymous and that will breed um that conversation but until that day we're not ready to hear it so let's leave it there yeah as in you want her to see more your side of it yeah i i this sounds ridiculous but there are some things that aren't just my side they're fact from knowing the scenario there is not your perspective and your mum's perspective yeah there is just the truth

there is the truth and your mum's perspective yeah and i think that goes for everyone and their relationship with them or with their parents if anything you know has ever happened well you get to an age i said this before where you realize that your parents are flawed human beings it's a scary moment when you go oh fuck okay yeah or your mom isn't always right that's fine mom isn't always right that's okay that's a scary place though yeah sometimes you are right sometimes you were right looking back on that situation yeah you were right or you did have a point there and you were just right and your mum was wrong in quite a big way your words not mine but yeah yeah well sorry if you're listening but you were wrong there are there are lots of things that we would still disagree on now and it's been 10 years for example well

for example um there are lots of things that we will continue to disagree on until more experiences have been had yeah i think that's fine and maybe when i have a kid like my my i'm sure my perspective will continue to shift um but as i have had more and more experiences i only look back with more like assurance in my own actions that i made at the time yeah as i older, it only confirms to me that what I did at 15 was right, for example. Absolutely. Well, just definitely. So there are things that I'm holding out on saying to, you know, not just my mum. But to, yeah, the whole squad. Yeah. I think that's so amazing. I think you should almost like, if the milestones are kind of abstract, I think maybe you just should say it

yeah i think there are definitely well it's also like we're kind of getting into the podcast well i know we're on a podcast we're recording one right now kind of we're doing a two-in-one yeah but there are i definitely think about acknowledging things because my method is communicate and i think it's a healthy one to have but not everyone will reciprocate and I need to schedule in time where I have that energy and I don't always I'm not like just blindly waiting for something on something that's never going to happen for example I think it is just about distance and like time just allowing for a new perspective on everyone's accord it's almost like she needs to come to a place where she can

take a bit of the blame just a tiny bit which then allows you to then open up a whole conversation she needs to see her wrong in a small way so that you can open it up if she's viewing it as in she behaved perfectly then there's no wiggle room it's really difficult yeah it's difficult also to like i don't know what it's like i haven't lived her life so and now it's almost like the more and more we both are navigating the world as adults the more we can both there's a common ground you can discuss yeah and i think also what's really important is we both i think what's really important is we both clearly want our relationship it's never an option for either of us to suck it all off and what for her

to be a mother when she lost a daughter or whatever and for me oh i don't yeah i don't speak to my mom or whatever that's just not an option so i think it's likely it's to me there is no question that there are always more conversations to be had whenever there has been a conflict i'm obsessed okay final question i'm ready what do you think is one misconception that people often have of you that you would get frustrated with what you think is wrong or you can't understand I find that really difficult because I don't know how people perceive me kind of I ask this to the complete wrong person it's kind of a joke that I I my perception of the world is quite strange very skewed.

But I just don't, so something that someone told me the other day is you're just so unique. You're so unique. I've had that twice within two days now. Oh, but you think it's a misconception? I think it's a funny perception. Okay.

I think it's a funny thing to, um, a funny lens to view me through. There's just no one like you. I was told it's like, I know a few people that. Like who though? Cause I bet you don't. You are unique. You are really, one like you i was told it's like i know a few people that like who though because i bet you don't you are unique you are really really unique but i think it's part i think part of your uniqueness i don't know what that means yeah because i think because

part of your uniqueness is that you view the world in a really like quite strange way so sometimes i want to know what that is i want to know what that way is it's like just it's just quite i don't i don't know what it is. It's just you're unique. You just, you express yourself in sometimes a weird way or like you just sometimes, sometimes it's like, I don't know, like you're, you are just very unique. Because I'm always shocked by the people that people liken me to. Like, oh my God, my friend reminds me of you so much.

And I meet them and go, oh, they're an idiot. So it's like you and my friend reminds me of you so much and i meet them and go oh they're an idiot so it's like you and my friend that i say you're similar to and i said to jack the other day don't you think blah blah blah is similar don't you think blah blah blah is similar to seffy and he said yeah i get what you mean because you've got this kind of and this is how i would describe it there's almost like this quiet endearing weirdness okay interesting it's like you very much express yourself from a weird place or unconventional um i think it is as i always say you are the same around everybody you might disagree i yeah i think i'm the same i think you're the same around everybody yeah and i think that is because you have um a very clear sense of self what you do and do not like yeah you have a very clear idea of what you don't want

to be tied to yeah and you very much express yourself from a place of almost like hilarity like kind of um you don't mind if things are a bit ridiculous no not do i love that yeah and i think most people would be like yeah i'm like that i'm like that but for you it's very you are almost a bit obscure and i think i think sometimes people might be like oh yeah i don't i don't understand oh for example when we said that other person couldn't work out how to yeah how to react to you i was at a party recently i think i'll tell this story i think it's fine i think we're safe that they're not listening even if i was yeah i don't think they would even know they were doing this but i was at a party recently and there was someone kind of quite obviously trying to impress me and trying social

climb trying to social climb my ladder yeah trying to climb my ladder and trying to like work out how to navigate me and it's quite funny when you can recognize this happening because i was just being like hey like what? Yeah. My normal self. Someone said to you. And someone then said to me, oh yeah, they were trying to impress you

and it was funny because then I could see, I could very clearly see it laid out how they were shifting. They were trying like an approach of like, oh my God, like I love this thing and then that wasn't working and then they were like, yes girl, like trying to do that one.

Yeah, trying all the different routes. They were honestly trying. None of them were landing. And then they're trying to go deep, like different routes they were honestly trying none of them were and then they're trying to go deep like yeah like i've been thinking this for a while they were honestly trying the different routes and none of the avenues honestly none of them were landing i think yeah and i think there's there's just yeah you're just yeah you're just a really funny perception i do find it funny seeing what people perceive me as because i don't perceive myself as unique and like it's just quite a funny thing you are unique it's just really funny it's quite offensive but it's also funny but it yeah but it shouldn't be offensive because it is i think

a word that's really important for my description at least is that it's endearing because there's some kind of i'm hanging on your every word i'm like, what's next with this crazy girl? But like, it's endearing. It's not like, oh, you're weird and you're strange and I don't like it. It's almost very natural to you. There's no, even if you're performing, it's very natural to you. Do you get what I mean?

No, I do and I don't. There's kind of no airs and graces. Like there's just no facade. Even if you're doing something totally performative yeah it's still very true to yourself that and i thought that since the day i met you but there we go that is hilarious well it's very flattering but also very offensive at the same time and it's about misconceptions but that's a true conception that you're unique so what about you i'm gonna throw it back do you think people like misconceive you what's the word

yeah do people have any misconceptions about your personality about you yes and i have um faced them head-on in my life oh my god love it well you know this well for example one of them this is a really good example i know that because i if you if you yeah i know that because i look a certain way or the way that i interact with the world, people have thought I am stupid or I'm just a dumb girl. The really good, it just epitomizes everything this moment. I had got my GCSE results.

They were stunning. Of course. GCSEs- A star after A star. Yeah, you do when you're 16 years old. And it's like- And it's a really kind of unfair test of like everything yeah all at the same time and they're really i struggled more in my gcse than i

did my a levels just because i finally finals week you would call it and i remember this fucking bitch woman horrible woman and we ended up our relationship developed in sixth form because she was the head of sixth form or whatever and she was a fucking cunt yeah i don't know if you can do we put the word cunt in yeah we say loads there you go she was an absolute cunt yeah and that hasn't changed with age like from my perspective as one of those things again as i get older i see more and more oh no you are a cunt yeah i wasn't just a teenager you're a cunt cunt cunt cunt anyway we so you got your results or whatever and then you would sit down with a teacher of authority and go through your results yeah yeah and you would pick kind of you'd be like oh you're going to sixth form what do you want to do blah blah on the day god we were like

i don't think on the day out in the town yeah so were we i think it must have been like coming in for sixth form day or something and you were trying to get in on the classes that you wanted to be in on the like um subjects so i came in with my gcses blah blah and we sat down and she went oh my god she said oh my god and i was just i didn't say what i was just like smiling yeah like go on do tell she said oh my goodness she goes oh i'm i'm so sorry i was like right go on spill the beans miss like what's happened what's going on here yeah what's going on she said i just i just didn't oh god you're really intelligent you're intelligent young woman i just wouldn't have thought it and oh not not like that not like that just because break down the reasons yeah why you didn't think

it you haven't seen gabriella montez tell me out loud yeah let's vocalize that because the reason is because because you're pretty like literally that say it out loud because you fit in with the kind of like popular because you're in that group and all the boys and yeah get a fucking grip miss savile you fucking cunt yeah i really have actually and that is on record yeah honestly and that's on childhood trauma like she was an actual from my perspective someone like that shouldn't be around kids and i think that's why you have a skewed perception of what it means to be a teacher because you were surrounded by so many teachers who shouldn't be around kids and i think that's why you have a skewed perception of what it means to be a teacher because you were surrounded by so many teachers who shouldn't be teachers yeah i think you have a whole cohort of you have a whole generation in front of you and it's that it's totally in your hands in the way that you had miss whitney such

a pleasant memory yeah i love that that we spoke about in the first part yeah you just have such an influence on these children and it is totally up to you on how you play out in their lives and the impact that you give them and i think so many teachers abuse it yeah and it's like okay i'll choose uh kind of go through the trauma of my divorce and like lay it all onto these kids so many of my teachers i would have loved to say now like if i could go back in time and like be my childhood self and just like speak to them in like i don't know like year nine or whatever and just be like sorry have you had a bad day like why are you shouting at me i'm a child like have you had a bad day or something been a rough week is it oh is the head of department just told you off are you getting a pay cut like what's the issue because it's like don't pretend that you're angry because i've got some chewing gum in my

mouth or i had one where they were like um i know you're wearing makeup i know you're wearing makeup and it's like i'm not wearing any makeup because i was just told to take it off because for some reason we all had to look like don't get me maybe we should do a podcast on that because i was gonna say don't get me started on makeup rules in school stop sexualizing me you fucking pedophiles stop looking at my skirt don't tell me it's about respecting school's status don't fucking try me don't you're telling me that the boys will get distracted because they've got a shoulder on show don't even go fuck off you fucking pedophiles and stop looking at little children like fucking meat honestly cunts honestly yeah honestly the fury is real but anyway um that's a misconception

that i faced in my life but i actually don't mind it because it just i was i always say that anything better than proving others wrong is proving yourself right I love it and it's literally that is like well I knew the whole time that I was really smart I kind of think what's even better than that is the only thing that proving other people wrong is proving yourself wrong see I prove myself right because I know that I'm smart I kind of think yeah I like know I'm smart but like imagine it on a different level so you kind of think that you're something else negative um yeah and you then you have the realization of oh fuck everyone was wrong yeah that's quite a great i like that but i think it's better that you knew the whole time and the satisfaction had a whole thing when no one believed you yeah but you don't care because

you know so the only thing you prove them wrong the only thing better than proving them wrong is proving yourself right so not only have they all been proved wrong, you were right the whole fucking time. I love both. I quite love the idea of being, of a realisation of like, shit, I was wrong the whole time. See, that's gutting because you've lost out on so much time. No, but it's like, it's just like an enlightenment. It's a good movie moment. Yeah, it's like I'm writing a script.

Yeah, but for life moments you want to know the whole time. Yeah, I like it. You don't want to think that you're done for 20 years and then finally no no this is an early realization in my script but then there's no power but as in as in if it's really early on there's not much weight because you haven't gone through the whole no but maybe you've gone through school or something and then you kind of just have this moment where you get your gcses and not only did you know it's fuck everyone because you fucking fooled me you twat i was on top the whole time and you even fooled me this is why i love my power right now yeah

exactly it's an itonia situation you haven't seen itonia it's actually one of my favorite films is it yeah we watched it together and i've told you that so many times and then you say and we watched it together every single time so anyway basically that's my misconception and I have no issues with it because I know the whole time the truth. Yeah, and I actually quite enjoy it because it gives me access to whatever I want. It's kind of a hidden power. It's like Daenerys where no one knows

that she can speak Dothraki and she like holds that power back. Season three, iconic. Yeah, no one knows. And she holds the info in. She's like, okay, I'm gonna listen to what you're saying. They're all saying like, I'm gonna look at her pussy and things like that and she's like just listening and they think she's an idiot and at the end she's like do not touch me it's my

mother tongue yeah and it's like she's been listening the whole time you idiots yeah she's like valerian is my mother tongue or something yeah i love her stunning and then she's like i am the wife of carl dro. I am the mother of dragons. I'm the breaker of chains. And she goes into a big rap. So fucking iconic. She does. A big rap.

And it's a big musical number. It's a musical number. And Benji's there. And he says, I got the magic in me. So yeah, cheers to that. Oh, that's quite horrible. It was like, actually gonna smash. I love that.

The power move of everyone thinking you're dumb when you're actually a genius. That's my thing. I was like actually gonna smash. I love that. The power move of everyone thinking you're dumb when you're actually a genius. That's my thing. I say it all the time. The only thing better than proving everyone else wrong is proving yourself right. It's like, yeah, give it a rest. Like I knew the whole time.

Yeah, I love it. Stunning. So I can speak Dothraki the whole season. The whole motherfucking time. Okay, are we done? I think we're done here. This has been a great two-parter. We've loved getting a bit deep.

I love these because I think if I was listening, I would be answering in my mind. Yeah. I asked some of the questions on the story and the answers were amazing yeah you had really good responses i did that i did like a poll of like would you rather be called insecure or vain and everyone's like they yeah a lot of people said insecure it was like it was kind of a 60 40 yeah i was surprised like wait god you need to listen to the podcast guys i thought it was really interesting but anyway i'm sure we'll get the same from this one so thank you so so much for listening i've actually really enjoyed this one me too it's been really good we've got a bit spooked i'm glad to be getting out of this room definitely yeah let's go if any studios want to sponsor us

yeah we need to get into a non-haunted studio asap right thank you so much thank you so much leave a review and right thanks Right, see you later. Bye. Bye.