Goes Without Saying - ageing in ur 20s: how long have you *been* seventeen?

Episode Date: March 26, 2023

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The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It goes without saying you're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Sefi. And I'm Wing. And today's episode I think is something we haven't really spoken that much about before.

We're talking about aging and growing up and becoming big girls which... Oh no I don't like that I said big girls. No we're sticking with it and growing up and becoming big girls which oh no i don't like that i said big girls no we're sticking with it i think it's cute i don't like that i said that um we're talking about finally basically what i meant by that is we're going from being a girl to a woman i think at the moment can i start again no yeah i hate these guys we're talking about anxiety over maybe aging our skin changing our body changing biological clocks and all the fucked up shit shit and messaging that especially women are given about getting older so it's a i think it's a fun episode but we also have some hard-hitting

shit in here so enjoy bloody hell here we go again hello how are you i'm good how are you i'm good good you sound like you're lying but i think you're telling the truth yeah fair enough drinking some boiled water which i know you hate sick well i support it for you anything you anything my wife wants she gets thank you so much i'm excited for this episode like we don't really speak about this no i don't think we do i have i'm intrigued to hear your thoughts because i feel like it's something that i mean we're both 26 it's been coming up in our lives in numerous ways i'm sure it's the oldest we've ever been yeah yeah to date yeah we might even scary thought we might be a

fair bit older by the time you listen to this yeah i mean that's scary and we're complaining now and we've literally got like no wrinkles and we're already complaining would you do you know what i'm gonna kind of yeah let's preface the conversation yeah i find it a sad state of affairs that women age 26 are discussing something yeah it's a bit it's actually like a sad thing but i feel like i am bombarded with like anti-aging messaging already at 26 and i just want to draw the comparison just ever so lightly sprinkle in this comparison okay the podcasts created by men that are 26 are not talking about aging no they're not talking they still don't know how to boil pasta literally literally it is ridiculous they don't know how to use a washing machine so i just want

to start off by kind of saying that i think the whole thing is absurd yeah like actually absurd that people in their 20s are discussing aging but i also think that's part of the conversation that yeah we're told to get fucking preventative botox at very very young and start with your skin we know what i think about skincare we've been through it before but like all of this shit is essentially propaganda the fact we're even it's even an awareness for us but i also i'm so intrigued to hear what you're gonna say yeah me too yeah and and also um like physically aging and like aging as a woman and all the messages you're sending society.

And then also, like, changing, growing up. Growing up. Your life is changing. Your relationships are changing. Your body maybe is changing. Your face is changing. Like. Yeah.

Who knows? We also said a few episodes ago, like, I don't know what it was, but we were saying, like, the difference between, like, you were a girl and now suddenly you're considering yourself a woman. It's like. Very Britney. Oh, God. Like. Yeah. that feels a bit crazy a woman yeah yeah new identity yeah it's like oh no i'm just a girl it's like no i'm just a girl standing in front of a boy but it's almost like no you're a woman yeah standing in front of a microphone standing in

front of the world shitter's microphone i need to get a new one where do you want to kick this off is there a point of like tension or conflict or i dare say insecurity at the moment around the topic of aging for you right now there are so many there are so many i saw a thing the other day that kind of summed it all up it was i don't even know what it was it was like a weird cartoon thing like i actually don't know what it was okay it's like a weird like this is what being in your 20s is like and it was this little like thing and it was almost like the internal monologue and it was like just giving pingu i feel behind i feel like i'm aging and like everyone else is in good places like i'm so ugly mom like it was like everything yeah you could ever think and it was

like this is the experience of being in your 20s and i thought hmm interesting let's see what other people are saying and my predictions were correct that in the comments people were saying this is what your 30s are like spoiler this is what your 40s are like someone's like this is what being a teenager is like and what kind of i was thinking when i saw the thing is like i think that's just the human condition i think that is just life is being like everyone else is doing this what am i doing it right yeah like that is just it is not your 20s it's not anything it's like that is just you will probably have that until the day you die because i had that since the day i was born

pretty much so well until i in the moment i was conscious of like yeah being a human on this planet i've always everyone has always been aware of where they fit are they doing well are they doing badly am i doing the right thing always so i think that's kind of i think the feeling of being behind is definitely one that seems to come up a lot specifically in the conversation about like being in your 20s yes yeah because things you know start to feel pretty real all of a sudden real also it's like i'm always having this conversation at the moment because a lot of my friends are doing very different things like we're obviously doing this a lot of my friends work in like corporate jobs a lot of them friends work in like corporate jobs

a lot of them work like one's a paramedic one's a midwife like people are yeah i'm working bars like they all do just completely different things and i was saying to them like it's funny that this age feels like anything is appropriate like it's appropriate to have a kid and be married and have a husband and a house it's also appropriate to be traveling around it's appropriate to be working as a waitress it's appropriate to be working as a waitress it's appropriate to be working as like a big business lawyer like it's appropriate to be anything like all of these things work so no wonder it's a time and they work at all stages in your life i think in your 20s you're encouraged to do everything like you should be having fun but

you should be working but you should be settling down it's like what am i supposed to be doing and also like you've only been here for example 26 years like you haven't been here long so the brain that is making up the decisions of what should i be doing is i'm not saying we're not capable because we're definitely capable brains it's a dumb brain but yeah it's a baby brain really like it's it's a lot i think the it's it's confusing especially i think with our generation is kind of being one of the first to have kind of everyone else's business in the palm of their hair yeah um literally in their face from the minute they wake up in the morning to the minute they go to bed and definitely my parents generation weren't aware of like what the girl from the next town over was doing with her blah blah blah and the guy from this and this and you know we're very um it's almost

quite hard actually maybe even impossible i would say for me personally at least my experience kind of impossible to avoid seeing what everyone else is doing which yeah then in turn obviously leads to some element of comparison to some degree even if it's just a marker of failing yeah even if it's just a marker of okay they're doing that i'm doing this fine no worries or maybe the majority of the time feeling like fuck why has everyone else got it figured out they're killing it they're killing it they're crushing it they're thriving and i'm a scrap yeah which also is the fact that that is such a common experience like i'm sure everyone listening can relate to that like the feeling of i'm looking around and everyone here seems to know

what they're doing other than me i must be the exception convenient isn't it it's like that is so hilarious that everyone has that experience it's like we should just talk to each other we should just talk to each other for a second here and kind of like we're dumb it's like we're morons it is by design that like i can easily look at you and see all of your achievements and all of your this and all of your that and for me i'm like shit the fuck am i doing she really needs to sort this shit out yeah like what the fuck are you playing at yeah yeah we can see it so clearly for everyone else but i mean taylor's always we hate ourselves and then when you add in the pressure of you know you're not 19 anymore that's when it starts to hit i mean that hurts

hurt my feelings yeah it does i think that's 26 felt i know that 25 felt quite abrasive for you like i know that 25 felt kind of like that was the one that you were like right okay i think 26 has been the one that i've been like it's the oldest i've ever been it's like that yeah that feels like an age that feels like an age that i would have heard a while ago a few years ago and had the wrong end of the stick that's an adult yeah yeah you would have got the wrong i didn't think i'd get that until my 30s i thought when i was 30 i'd be like god i really had the wrong end of the stick about 30 year olds like they're clueless but i think i really thought turning 26 i was like yeah right you're not in your early 20s anymore like that is not where you are that's the kicker i think

how dare they take that from me how dare they 25 is mid early to mid 26 is mid to late no no that's nonsense it's not nonsense that's fact it's evil it's what it is it's because and also like fine it's fact whatever but it also it's hard to to separate the awareness of like all the judgment that goes on that's the thing about what late 20s might look like exactly it's like i think i like to think sephia and i are smart enough to know our ass from our elbow apparently is my phrase that i keep saying these days but sephia and i are smart enough to know that like or even like i think quite radical enough to try and act actively fight against the narratives that we're sold about what we should be doing what our lives should look like at a certain age like i think you and i are pretty confident in saying like it's load of bollocks

however yeah in our human brains which is all we are in this human existence it is really suffocating sometimes and when you've already got this kind of disposition of being quite hard on yourself suddenly it feels it's quite tempting it's like all of a sudden you've got this new weapon to beat yourself with of like it was cute when you were 21 yeah but now you're pushing work against you exactly yeah it's like oh i might as well add being in my apparently mid to late 20s to the list you know yeah definitely i think you're so right with being like we know the stuff yeah no guys there's no fucking yeah just don't worry about it like that none of this means anything

it's just age just a number it's kind of that is kind of just what creepy that's kind of what leonardo dicaprio says that's not what we say age is not just a number no even calling him leo i don't like it yeah it leo kind of is the same thing as calling boris johnson boris it's like let's fucking call these men by their fucking full disgusting names he's a pedophile he's a fucking that's a huge allegation to throw out there but hey sorry sorry yeah sorry let's leave it there i'm not getting into this i'm not going into it but like age is just a number as he would say but also in that way it's not but in this way it actually is

like it really doesn't there's no um goals you need to hit all of the fucking shit that we've heard a million times we know it but it is actually impossible i genuinely think it's impossible especially as a woman yeah who you have the threat of your skin changing your body changing all of this stuff is kind of don't let that happen don't let that happen or you do this or what you also have oh no go on oh no go on well i was just gonna say also when it happens i was gonna say if it happens but it's like no when it happens when it inevitably does yeah because the alternative is you're dead so if you're still here you're gonna be aging best case scenario scenario is you're dead so if you're still here you're going to be aging and your scenario is you're going to get some wrinkles and look yeah like an old woman

that's what i hope for all of us to be old ladies um and when you it's kind of like you're told not to you're told not to age but then when you do age you're supposed to do it gracefully and like almost not be upset about it like it's not valid to be upset about your body changing or your face or any anything you're not allowed to be upset about anything basically you're not allowed to look ugly and then you're not allowed to be sad that you look ugly you're not allowed to have the insecurities that they gave you because it's almost like god all right vain the vanity of it all yeah the privilege to have that problem which is true but it's like no wonder all these women have felt like this for generations because it's been sold to them it's pretty fucked isn't it i do think a little bit

yeah it's just a different it's just a different experience for men and women i think and that's what makes it it just so much to sort of sour i more like it just makes it kind of oh it makes me a bit bitter to be honest actually because it's like it's unfair it is really unfair and like the thing of you'll always see kind of where did i fucking hear this but it's like it's unfair it is really unfair and like the thing of you'll always see kind of where did i fucking hear this but it's like you'll always see kind of news readers see news reasons i don't know i don't watch really the news so i don't really know where i've got this from there'll always be an old man with like a silver fox kind of looking guy but you will never see a woman presenting the news with gray hair or a wrinkle or anything like this.

She'll always be dyed hair. She's kind of in her 30s in a little dress, little pencil skirt moment. If she dares to be over 40, she will have Botox and dyed hair and all of the fucking stuff that we do. And there'll be a global conversation. There's a huge commentary on what this woman has or has not decided to do to her body, which in so many ways is a symptom of us trying to make sense of how we're being objectified and like all the rules that we're being sold and how unfair it is but it's also the entitlement that we feel over women's

bodies to just pass comment and like and judgment on what that means of her as a person the shame that they feel pressure to do that i think exactly it's actually that's quite devastating yeah it's horrific the it's just another stark way in which things just aren't equal and i think as well like it's really easy as a young person to almost see how this is unfair but not feel it because well it's not relevant to you yet yeah you're bombed by the fact that you're 19 good for you i guess thanks for rubbing it in but and i'm making these jokes but like i don't give a shit do you know what i mean like i want to make it clear like i want us all to embrace aging obviously but i also think the conversation is interesting i just i think it's really human

to feel to be so young and to be so fresh just with baby brains adults for the first time of course we're gonna have loads of insecurities and like worries about who we are how we fit in how we've changed like where we're going like there's so much uncertainty i think and i really do think it's a second puberty and we have so much conversation around the hormonal changes for like tweens let's say or just around like for kids i guess leo stop listening yeah leo this isn't about you he's hearing tween he's getting excited he's parked up like my dog when i say do you want to go for a walk do you want to have a treat leo's like what do you mean she's 24 um i think it's just it's no surprise that we have these insecurities and i just i think it's really obviously so sad and unfair but also really

human and i think we should have the space for that kind of conversation definitely and i definitely think there are huge hormonal changes physical changes and like emotional changes like your brain is like really developing for the first for the first time you did have a brain before but like it's finally got it back together and it's finally settling into shape yes and it doesn't feel so volatile but it does feel very volatile but also like i don't know like what's the age that your brain finishes develop your frontal cortex apparently is around 25. Okay.

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or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com Do you feel like, not that you have any, like, how the fuck do you feel like not that you have any like how the fuck do you tell do you feel like it's settled like do you feel like it's developed yeah i feel like my brain has changed i do genuinely feel different and i was saying to you earlier i feel like i'm having a spiritual awakening

i'm just i'm in a weird mood these days guys i don't know what's going on honestly like i just don't know what the fuck's going on but i just feel a bit more like i don't care and that feels like a sentiment that i've heard from older people like young people but like people over the age of even 21 let's say as you get older you don't care you care less and things like that i just almost feel like as i'm getting older it's getting easier for me i guess because i've got a longer life to live things feel more fleeting because i've yeah had more experiences and therefore like like when you're for example five years old and you have a bad year that's a fifth of your life that's been bad bloody hell yeah no that's bad you're 26 you have a bad year that's 1 26th of your life like all of a sudden it feels a lot

more manageable i actually don't know the maths of that i mean 1 26 is fair but i don't know if i'm supposed to like find a denominator like is that can you simplify that no no no i don't only if it would be like two i'm not gonna 24 yeah it would yeah yeah yeah let's leave it there i did say to Seva yesterday, and five times 100 is... And we took a moment. And I took a slightly long pause. And then we're like, oh, it's 500. 500. There we go.

So, yeah, I feel like my brain's in good form on that note. Finally developed. I know my 10 times table. But no, I really do feel like... I really do feel like I have more perspective, which is not surprising, is it? No, it's not surprising at all. After you've lived more life. But also, like, you'd essentially lived the same amount of life last year.

Like, there's not really a huge amount in it. But I think in the last few months, you've definitely come to some kind of conclusions or, like, you're feeling more settled or something has switched. I don't know, honestly, maybe the medication's just finally kicked in. I've been upping my dose like mad. I mean, that would be stunning as well. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter what it is. Whatever it is, yeah. Whether it's your Saturn return or the medication's just finally kicked in been upping my dose like mad i mean that would be stunning as well whatever it is it doesn't matter whatever it is yeah whether it's your saturn return or the medication i don't think it can technically be my saturn return

which is apparently what happens when you're 27 to 28 around like 26 27 28 29 30 maybe for some people it's later but it's something is saturn goes back to where it was when you were born which happens roughly every 27 years let's say just in case you didn't know it's such bollocks but why are we waiting so hard no but i'm actually thinking if i'm already feeling like this i wonder if i'll get a sign if i'll be gifted yeah with a saturn return and i'll be feeling something people really say like your saturn return like your life blows up what does that mean your life blows up like everything changes like you move like across the world like your like oldest friendships die like you like change the way you look like everything i mean it's supposed to be like an amazing thing but like a lot of people go through like huge life changes like really change their career in their late 20s yeah we're right on cue then yeah here we go hold on tight do you

associate with late 20s because i don't i'm rejecting that 27 even oh don't say 27 because i haven't got long well thing is 27 i've actually got really good feelings about 27 because my birthday is the 27th of december my mom's birthday is the 27th of february like 27 feels like it's a bit of a number for you a positive number in my life so i i feel like 27 i'm gonna thrive for some reason yeah i like that well i'm finding that with 26 to be honest i'm liking it so far good three months in and yeah it's going well for us no complaints putting you in with me yeah i'll take it yeah yeah it's fun do you feel youthful yeah do you in what way yeah massively i think recently

as well because i've had so much fun recently yeah i feel really like you're living my life looks incredibly youthful but like in what ways do you feel youthful i feel really um i know you don't like this word but i i think it's it's the only word that's accurate i feel very like i'm very aware of the fact that i get to think with like a creative brain yeah like i really think of things in a weird way and like i can i can be a bit fun and like loose and like i definitely feel very creative and almost like in a physical sense like i feel physically like i can change the way life looks in a creative way i'm god apparently but like i i just i feel quite evan almighty somehow worse than bruce evan almighty

so much worse than bruce so bad bruce is like you're a cult classic yeah evan's almost like steve why did you do that role i was stunning steve it's so we love you he's listening as well him leo they're all here when we say we love you steve carell we're not messing around no we love so much also jim carrey like yeah i like him but steve when we decided that might be we played this really hilarious game we basically i kind of came to the conclusion that sephie's type is basically anyone who would have been in the auditioning process for the role of dwight shrew any actor that you can think of that would have auditioned for that role they didn't get it but like it makes perfect sense

for them that's sephie's type that how horrendous is that like kind of sorry to just like this is nothing to do with aging at all we were in amsterdam yeah january best trip ever so far it was so fun and we started this game just at dinner one night i think we were like so what if you could marry i think it was married like there you have to spend the rest of your yeah life yeah and you're happily married as well happily married not like there's no loopholes you're not cheating okay you're loyal and it's not like yeah no no and it's not oh i'll marry zac efron it's like you're taking all aspects of zac efron like yeah he's a great great guy i'm sure right it's like you've got to really think could you spend your life with zac efron it's not just your fantasy person yeah it's not who you

want to have sex with no we're really thinking who would who would we choose celebrity wise wing knew hers instantly like would you would you like to share quite worryingly fast i can't remember all of them but i remember saying chris evans and sebastian stan i could have a lovely life with those were who came to my mind for you also i've told a few people that and they've been like chris evans makes so much sense for her oh i don't know how i feel about that oh that's great chris evans makes so much sense for her oh i don't know how i feel about that oh that's great chris evans makes so much sense for you no i mean guys i just want to make it clear i'm not shitting on him in any way like obviously i'm not trying to sit here being like i'm a bit above no no no absolutely not that is not what i'm saying at all no no more so just chris evans is like captain america like

am i like am i a i'm prom queen sort of vibe no no no no it's like why do they see chris and they don't see sebastian i wonder no they see sebastian as well but i think they were also debating on chris what do you mean the person i asked was also debating they were basically like chris evans came to mind um for them and i was like oh that's who wing picked and they were I see it well you know what the sad news is on the note of aging Chris Evans I think he's 41 or 42 I know yeah it's just he's with the 25 year old I think fucking weird as shit it's so sad anyway you could spend your life with him no I can't you know what I really like about Chris Evans? He his brother is hilarious His brother is so fun Where is brother then?

He's gay Oh I think I don't think he's interested but but Chris is obviously interested in me and for some reason

I'm talking down on him But he's going out with he's a freak I'm not coming to your wedding Fuck it No You have to You must

I may I may attend We're going to have think of all the hot celebs i'll be having at my wedding to chris heaven yeah but i'm off with fucking rain wilson no you're not go on say who i settled you with it was actually really good no no it's really good but there's like it took us for me for some reason i i think we probably spent i'm gonna say eight hours over the course of the holiday talking about she She's got commitment issues, basically,

is the bottom line. Well, we knew that. It's the crowd. It's written across my forehead. We really spent so long. For some reason, we really set... Rainn Wilson was a popular one that came up. He was hanging on for dear life, unfortunately.

You were offering, like... Which is fucking weird, because I don't really fancy Rainn Wilson. But, like, I was really thinking about, like, this isn't someone that i'm gonna have sex with like well i'm gonna have sex but it's not just who do you want to have sex with celebrity wise you could go for the like the hot guys of the world but i was like i really think i want someone funny all of the stuff and rain wilson was one of the options to marry also jim carrey

was sticking around but i don't think i could do that like it's too much it's too much we had that amazing joke we had an amazing joke don't you want to say it no i just don't know how long it would take us to get the joke it was just too sad it was basically like imagine being married to jim carrey i mean i think it's an amazing joke imagine being married to jim carrey and the whole time you're like can't you just be jim for once he's like gone like we were like you don't even notice you're doing it do you the kids want their dad back like we were like do you have to perform do you have to be jim carrey the whole time i just want to spend time with jim i just want my husband i want the man i married you just have to be on the whole time don't you we really did a whole fake argument with jim so we decided against jim in

the end you came up with this was on the plane home yeah we took our time really working to find the person because morning noon and night i was turning them down honestly brutally i could not i was happy with no one and the creme de la creme was being thrown to me and i was turning them away so i was giving options i'm sure you guys will back me up here oscar isaac are we a fan of that i am also pascal i keep calling him yeah pascal i'm seeing that still um i could see it but i'm not marrying them oh you know what i said sorry just quickly for me i said my my boy seth rogan my baby i see that for you as well me too you could marry him though 100 i look basically i mean it's a bit much i probably would be like god do you have to be set all the time and i'd be a bit like i don't

really want james franco around our house no i don't want him and i definitely don't want him around my kids unfortunately yeah yeah anyway in the end we've got it we got the guy and i'm still not really sure about this because it's not someone I particularly, you know. I feel a thing with. Have any feelings for. But I feel like I could marry them. But you threw it out and it makes so much sense to me. I think Dylan O'Brien. Dylan O'Brien. I can see it.

Like as much as he's not who I'd go for usually. And he's not Pesto Pascal. He's not. I can see it. Like that makes more sense to me. Yeah. Even though he's not one of my like crushes in life no but it does make sense and i think he would really make you laugh that's good because

that was my issue with him like i think he would really make yeah i think he's funny and i think i think he'd be i think he'd be good to you he'd treat you right that's what i care about so dylan if you're listening i think he's recently come out come out with a girlfriend oh my god i thought you're gonna say he's gay i was gonna be like quite heartbroken sounded almost like i finally found the one like if i said if i said dylan o'brien's gay you're like what i fucking he's cancelled are you joking that's we literally went through every man on the planet it turns out he's the only one i can no yeah but like he's taken for the moment but we can change that but we were running through all the auditions of dwight shrew and i don't know why

they were all kind of doing that for me they're perfect that's which is disgusting i know i know it's almost like you could like you were throwing timothy chalamet at me you were saying you were saying harry styles oh whoever you want happy i'll give them to you none of them were good enough no but the casting the audition reel for dwight shrew isn't it actually worrying yeah it's a red flag and it's not good i don't know what i'm discovering anyway sorry um how did we get onto that aging i have no fucking idea did someone mention jim carrey oh yeah me i think i mentioned jim carrey but i don't know why oh bruce said i said i'm mighty

steve carell yeah bloody hell um you're not god is what you said yeah i'm not god um how do we get back in then right do you feel like you are where you want to be in life yeah i feel it quite fully i think for a long time i felt like oh like i'm on the brink of good and bad it's like i could go either way and i still obviously feel like that all the time but i think over the past year let's say i really feel like i can really see with some clarity that i am where i need to be and actually i'm in a pretty good spot and like i can't really complain i think well i mean i can't complain don't tempt me don't have to ask me twice i can definitely complain and like i there are so many things that i would love to be

further along with let's say yeah but like when it comes down to the day-to-day and the day-to-day things that make you happy like for example having a tea or like a phone call with your friend or like doing something fun going like seeing something new it's like i feel quite secure to me because i think as well like my life is looking good within reason but i also think and again this is my this is my new brain talking maybe but i feel for the first time like quite happy with who i am as well yeah like at this point in my life which then makes everything else easier to swallow because it's kind of like the only thing that really matters is the only thing that matters and kind of when you actually like yourself you can kind of forgive yourself for all the things that you don't quite have figured out yet do you know what i mean like if you reverse it

oh yeah no no go if you reverse it you have everything everything seems to have fallen into place but you don't like yourself yeah you've got nothing then no you've literally got nothing then you can't enjoy any of the things you have your tea is meaningless if you're feeding it to someone you hate yeah yeah are you myself yeah which i have been my whole life 100 and it just that's the only or like the key to enjoying the good things you have in your life doesn't come from really anything other than making peace with who you are yeah it's the only like you don't get anything else if you can't if you can't at least even like go through a tiny bit of the door of

that little gate yeah that's just you need to get through that i think as well i've been really trying to make peace with things and the other day i got a bit upset because i was well i was actually quite upset and i was thinking like there's so many layers to it because in so many ways it's such a positive thing but i think i can imagine some people would be able to relate to this feeling of like if my childhood self like my baby self my really young self could see me now obviously like with clarity i know she'd be so happy she'd be really happy with me she'd think think I was super cool. She'd love it, whatever. She's my biggest fan. Love her.

But I kind of had quite a sad thing. It's not the first time I've thought it, but I think part of getting older for me is like mourning certain parts of my life. Or I was really just feeling the sadness of there are so many things in my life that that little girl really wouldn't recognise and would be so, so upset about how certain things had worked out. Like so upset about how certain things had worked out

like certain like how certain things had worked out how certain things hadn't worked out like relationships I've lost like just certain things that I think she would find quite unbelievable because I found them to be unbelievable at the time and I'm still processing certain things but like for me I think getting older is finding more peace in the things that even though they're disappointing and they can still be disappointing i'm okay and it's also just a part of i don't know if it's like i think everyone experiences different things in different ways so i don't know if it's necessarily part of the human existence but it's definitely a part of my existence on earth something that i am going through and have been going through is mourning like the idea of things or the idea of like I don't know like even directly like thinking about I think my my younger version

of me would be so shocked that like my relationship with my mum is not what I thought it would be and that is so sad but I also like me and like I'm not a kid anymore and I don't you know need someone to like brush my teeth for me and put on my socks for me. Like, I've got my big girl pants on now. I can take care of myself sort of thing. And I can see that it is sad. But also she would be happy. The little girl version of me would be happy to see me.

Regardless of all of the other shit. And just. Definitely. I think just getting older for me is just processing the ways that things have and haven't panned out. And also I think taking pride in the reality that like you've got yourself here. So regardless of like how happy or good of a place this is right now, you've got yourself there probably on your own, like on your own accord. Oh, kicking and screaming. Yeah. So good for you.

And I think just there's not really many moments in life where you're encouraged to feel, I i don't think to feel good or like especially to feel proud of all the shit that you've gone through so maybe that should be your moment today to just be like fuck there were certain things there that really weren't easy and they threw me for a moment but i'm okay i'm still here and we're very happy for you guys yeah absolutely stunning that was amazing thank you i also think like the the going back and thinking like would my childhood self be proud of me it it can be such a dangerous game because kids are so naive yeah basically that kid would be shocked if anything nasty happened to you really anything that wasn't um a kid couldn't conceptualize is gonna be a big shock i think that you didn't win

the x factor gutted yeah what do you hate your guts you're not miley cyrus you're not in doctor who yeah i wrote the note saying if you're not in doctor who by the age of what i think i was like 12 oh that's 12 yeah 12 just give up underlined just give up that's what that seven-year-old said to me so yeah she'd be fucking gutted she would honestly have thought just give up that's what that seven-year-old said to me so yeah she'd be fucking gutted she would honestly have thought just give up like kids are their children really dumb they're kids like they don't know what real life looks like because hopefully if the parents have done a good job they are bombed by being a kid like they're not supposed to know any of the shit of the world yeah i was gonna be really sick and say unless leo's got his hands on them but oh unless he's in the fucking room

fucking freak actually genuinely revolting sort your life out anyone that's casting him working with him sort your life out or friends with him ouch sort your life out anyway um yeah i think it can be so nice to look back and be like god she'd be proud like she would actually be fucking she'd be impressed even like yeah she'd be excited the situation yeah i think also cut this cut the your current self some slack of being like but she'd be disappointed in that or she'd be sad in that about that because it's like yeah but she had no idea what the world looks like she had like she she got six years on her got no idea all she's been watching is like um the tweenies all day she's got no clue what's going on and they're not covering any deep themes in that like she's got no idea like sometimes like i think we're

quite big on being like you know life isn't about being miserable i think we were definitely like i think growing up we experienced a lot of just the sentiment from adults it seemed to be they were trying to say to us for some bizarre reason that life is about being miserable yeah and you just get on with it and i think we're quite good at coming on here every week and being like i hope you guys aren't miserable like just checking in like that's not what your life should be hopefully but it's not easy and and there will be disappointments there will be really like challenging moments i reckon for most people and i reckon people listening like i can't imagine anyone's listening thinking no i haven't

really had any challenges like no i think everyone can relate to feeling like a certain thing hasn't gone the way they hoped or like there's been something disappointing but i do think it's a special thing to still be here after that definitely and i think it's part of it's kind of what i was saying at the beginning it's like it's part of the human condition that you're always going to feel out of your depth confused kind of young and but also like the like the number you've got doesn't maybe align with how you feel it's and it's just kind of young and but also like the like the number you've got doesn't maybe align with how you feel is and it's just kind of endlessly confusing like yeah the amount of old people yeah i've spoken to that are like how did i get here like how did i get this age like yeah that's what it feels like i think it's pretty crazy like i do think that's something that we're

gonna have forever like and we're definitely gonna look back when we're hopefully we look back when we're like 45 or something at this conversation and think what fucking is it wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh canadian dairy it's also refreshingly cheap just 99 cents until july 14th it's a treat for you and your wallet little dumb children yeah complaining like babies they literally have not experienced life yet and we're going yeah so we're getting older guys let's impart some wisdom on to you 20 yeah it's crazy mid 20s like shut up but like yeah i think that's that's the whole thing of life you're always gonna feel slightly out of your depth yeah nice oh it's lovely yeah that was really nice thank you that was really nice i enjoyed that a lot good it's that you're in your

soft era i am in my you're not elsa from frozen today it's my favorite thing to imagine being toppled off by you and then turning around you've got a side braid it's so good i'm gonna do it one day i'm gonna shout at you quickly turn around plait my hair come back and i'm gonna sing it's my favorite i definitely yeah yeah i definitely um i never really saw the elsa vibe for myself but neither i see this elsa vibe for myself even you're not even cold as ice just sometimes you get a little bit frozen frozen do you know what it is we were talking about it we're talking about this on the phone i get cold in the moments that are like the most warm and nice like someone will say something so fucking

nice to me and my response is like because i'm so uncomfortable with someone being i don't know really fucking nice to me i will just get so cold and it's so annoying because what i mean is like thank you i love you i love you i love you but what i'm saying is like okay thanks well see you later bye yeah what the fuck cold as ice anyway i love it we're always gonna feel out of our depth guys we are yeah it's part of the fun thank you it's been nice

thank you so much and I'll see you next week see you next week if you don't hear from us assume the worst