Goes Without Saying - body-image, food, & the 'winter uglies': podmas #17

Episode Date: December 17, 2023

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Welcome back to Podmas. It's like we never left. It really is. Especially for us because we really didn't. Like we never left, yeah. So what's behind the door today just a little confidence boost i think which is sounding i think is what we all need right now yeah i wouldn't say no i also let's start off by saying elephant in the room we're gonna be

talking about the winter uglies but some of you who have made yourself very known the australians in the room oh my god i very much not in your winter and they came through and said hi which was so cute and i actually felt bad i was like oh sorry i made you all do that god sorry i forgot how many of you that yeah no you guys really you said hi and we're saying hi back we're saying good day good day all the way to you so i guess they're the they're not dealing with the winter ugly so good for you guys they're dealing with the summer scaries yeah yeah so true so true they're dealing with the summer blues it's a hot girl summer etc etc they're over there but for us ugly folk we're in the trenches of winter you know who you are we're not looking our best our skin's not glowing no but that also that said is a vibe like no it is let's

be real for a second we're making it work we are all doing pretty well we're making it work and also like just resisting the thing of like it really matters what you look like like rather than going into the angle of like you are stunning you are all stunning which you yeah which you are you are stunning we are all stunning blah blah but it's also just the emphasis on it being like the most important thing about us as women it's like it actually truly isn't um that important whether we're like beautiful or our girls it really actually isn't no our girls no actually that doesn't actually mean anything and also it's like it doesn't even work on that fucking scale like realistically everyone no nothing is real everyone's middle everyone's blah blah blah yeah literally nothing in this life is real how can you be tied to an adjective

the wind what we're supposed to look like you're a dynamic being and these people cannot judge you what does this even mean um that said i was just saying that it's funny to be speaking to you guys about the winter uglies because we were just being like i've seen you guys and this doesn't actually relate to you yeah this is actually this one isn't for you like i've seen you i've seen this stunning group yeah it's not the winter uglies group so we've kind of um misspoke to our demographic here yeah yeah it's like this gets no it's gonna fall on deaf ears okay so winter uglies i feel it do you i feel it yeah here and there sometimes yeah pops in pops

rears its ugly head and then leaves again i think it's a good reminder sometimes of like thinking about the winter uglies just in the sense of like i've seen this phrase pop up and it's obviously a load of bollocks because why would i care like why would anyone care why should we be aware like yeah is my boyfriend waking up and thinking he's got the winter uglies no definitely not no one's ever told him talking about the winter uglies talking about how to combat the winter they're like the winter what they're like what they're like i didn't even know it was winter time to be honest which actually it's technically not but anyway considering it's all bollocks i do find on the other end of the um scale or sword or whatever that i do like the idea of being like okay i've

got an excuse almost it's like okay there's almost a bit of a reason it's like oh where am i like is my period due sort of thing it's like okay hormonally things could be happening okay the climate things are happening to impact my like human vessel on this earth and i'm very much like a body that is moving through this like the trials and tribulations blistering winds and scorching deserts i'm facing climate um changes in my life yeah that will impact the way that I look like I don't exist in a void yeah um and I think that's nice to remember and I actually I actually feel like something that makes me feel quite good is kind of the idea like when people say like um like your face tells a story like especially as you get older and it's like you can see where you've been laughing you can see when you've been crying like your history is

really written on your face yeah or like kind of a girl whose body is changing and she's like i've been celebrating a lot it's like that's the consequence of like me living a good life it's like that feels really nice to like see how literally your tangible life yeah it's impacting this vessel it creates like a real sense of ownership i think over your body and like experience is good and bad it's like it's all living within you and that just feels really special then add that to the layer of like oh my grandma kind of gave me like do you know what i mean like the level that kills my nan gave me these hands and like this is my dad's face like this is everything like everything that i am is like from people who actually love me so much they

would kill yeah people like people would be slain just to get me here like yeah like it's like you're you're built with so much love in you that lots of it you know nothing about and also a lot of people that you never met and never met you all those grandparents kissing smooching like the fireplace the people that's in you i think it's like my dad's grandma i never met her but apparently i i'm the only short one in my family and she's the only short person in my family that i've heard of yeah and it's like all my family really taught i'm randomly really sure this woman that i never met kind of passed me her height it's like that's crazy it's so sweet and it's like that surely is the only thing that matters that's the only like marker of like that's the only tangible thing i've got in terms of like

measuring the way that you look it's like the only thing that i can see in a real tangible like objective sense is that you were made as the comic you're literally a manifestation of so much love and experience on earth i know that's like really woo woo but i don't think it is almost like in a history sense it's just cool like in an anthropology sense but it's not so sweet like that is actually closer to us in reality than all the bullshit that we placed on top of our bodies and our beauty and all of this stuff that is actually woo woo bollocks that's the woo woo bollocks it is because the actual facts of it are you genetically get passed down all these things and then your environmental stuff of like

things that you eat the things that you do how much time you spend in the sun blah blah blah all of this stuff how many holidays you've been on in your life where you've been somebody like all of this like you guys that's the stuff that isn't we that is like real life shit and it's so stunning but all of the stuff that we've like they haven't got this and they have got that and all these weird little terms and they look like blah blah blah who also la la la it's like that's all the bollocks it totally is yeah you can't measure that and it changes and no matter how hard you try it's like trying to catch the smoke with your bare hands it just you can't you you can't grasp that because there will always be some little rat bag out there who thinks for whatever reason they can say you're not good

enough and it's a load of bollocks look at the most beautiful people ever to be born on this planet like and that standard is changing all the time but the people that have met that standard at that moment have also considered themselves ugly and all of the stuff like all you ever have been considered by others yeah it's mental it really is mental and it's also like it makes me emotional to think about people listening and it's like i wish i wish i wish i wish i wish i just wish so much like it's it's just crazy to think about like knowing that like okay statistically probably if you're listening you've probably felt bad about the way that you look probably quite recently yeah and that just feels like the biggest shame like i almost hate that it's like i hate that this is the earth you

have to deal with guys like this earth should have been better for you like it pisses me off that it's just the most special yeah it's special gorgeous people and it's like honestly like just the world doesn't deserve you agreed i think this here is your permission for christmas like take this right now as your permission christmas permission for now and always the guilt guilt guilt of like there is undeniably so much guilt and shame associated with food especially over the christmas period i think this is your permission right now to enjoy yourself eat whatever you want we don't want you eating a plate of food and then being like i shouldn't have eaten that yes you should have eaten that you should have eaten it you deserve it all you deserve to eat your christmas dinner then have some fucking cake then have some fucking

crisp you deserve christmas your christmas whatever you want yeah meals you should be so lucky you deserve like calendar chocolate every day i would be honored if it would help anyone out there listening if you want to take us with you when you eat maybe you're going out to eat in public on your own that would be a nice fun thing to do or just like your fucking housemates are out and you're gonna be eating and it's like oh can i be bothered yeah no i'm gonna do it and especially if eating is something that you struggle with i love that we could be on in the background with you because i don't feel like it's on a yeah like you're on your own or like not feeling great in that moment i just really

hope you feel like we're there for you and also um i hate to say that you're not successfully gatekeeping us and to flex quickly but i reckon as well statistically there are probably lots of other people out there with you that are kind of um in in a weird supernatural sense holding your hand with you whilst you eat in that moment too like it's not just we're right dealing with it and we're all there it's a kind of seance of um burgers and pizza and stuff oh my god 100 there have been so many moments in my life where i've needed that as well where it's just almost like just the permission from someone else when you can't give it to yourself of like oh am i actually allowed do i deserve this and it's a real thing i'm trying to do at the moment like whilst i'm eating i i'm like

it's quite embarrassing i'm saying to myself like as i'm eating like you are allowed this you deserve this sort of thing and like you're allowed as much of it as you want like there's no um shame of like okay i i finished the whole dessert. No, you are allowed to have another dessert. You're actually allowed as much as you want. You are allowed. Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy.

It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay.

These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world.

The animal kingdom is queer. And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on spotify apple or wherever you get your podcasts acast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere acast.com but for some reason we have these rules in our heads well not for some reason by design by the laws of history and society and all things terrible we've been given these beliefs that it's like you're not actually allowed to but it's like actually fuck it's your life it's your body

you actually are allowed to do whatever you want and put whatever you want in it and that's a crazy fucking thought but it's fucking true it really is true and it makes me really um feel a lot of things to think of people feeling like that isn't like it should be a given yeah and it's just really actually disgusting to have literally the right to eat yeah has been taken away from so many women yeah it's so concerning like almost stop stop the stop it stop all the clocks yes stop the clock like we failed we failed like yeah no it's so it really is it's so fucked i also oh no go on no go on well i was gonna say i remember speaking recently about um just my learnings my findings in terms of like nutrition and how much it affects your serotonin

i know that's like again it feels woo woo but it is actually science like why is it the stuff that like is actually real it's kind of embarrassing to say i know yeah it's really embarrassing i know but it's embarrassing for me to come here and be like guys like the food you eat matters like it's gonna make you feel good yeah but i feel like as i've gotten old like i've never in a luxurious sense i'm realizing as i've gotten older i've never thought about food in relation to anything other than like what do i want to eat and i'll eat it sort of thing and as i get older i'm like that is not rare unfortunately yeah that's not unfortunately the experience and it's so fucked but i think also now i think more about or like i'm trying

to have more awareness of i know this food like goes into my body and it can help me like almost think of um like that chocolate can actually it's kind of lupin it's like trust me you'll feel better it's like yeah that will there are chemicals in this stuff like it's science and i don't know much about science but i do know that like when you eat the things that your body wants you to eat and the more the merrier you will feel better i think that's also one of the things that my therapist has been telling me about is the basically just all my eating disorders in general because i think i was always like i don't have an eating disorder i don't have an eating disorder spoiler alert i kind of do but like i do think i've made so much progress in there in that but um i we were talking about

like the idea of like in deciding what to eat like the idea of like shame over certain foods at certain foods being ruled as like good or bad and things like that and she was talking about like the thing about having kind of with the idea of oh the food that you put in is good for your body so many people and me included have the thing of like and that means i should only eat those foods and that means i should only eat foods that are good for my body like i think that i know that fucking cucumber is good for me so i should that's a good food and then i know that chocolate is bad for me that's bad food but it's like actually there's like the nutritional ally that's like that can help you make decisions later um of like what's good but actually it's

like if you're someone that struggles with um sort of food restriction um of like what's good but actually it's like if you're someone that struggles with um sort of food restriction um and like labeling certain foods as good or bad it's like maybe you need to start thinking from more like what do i want to eat what's yummy to eat like what's good like that stuff is actually good for like your soul almost oh no not almost like totally yeah totally good for your soul totally good for yourself if you want a bag of crisps it's like yeah that's actually going back to quite like almost for you quite a primitive like that's something you eat in your lunchbox as a kid and it's delicious yeah stuff is it that is good for you it is good no it's so good for you it actually is it's like that's what you need

yeah if i was gonna mark anything as good it's like yeah no does it make you feel good does it make you feel loved does it make you feel full and content and like yeah do you feel fucking good good more does it give more for the skull of it yeah and also like even in a really simple sense how much of a fucking stinky mood are you in when you're hungry like i also like often don't realize like if i'm hungry i'll be in such a bad mood and then i eat and i'm not also like often don't realize like if i'm hungry i'll be in such a bad mood and then i eat and i'm like that's kind of embarrassing yeah no genuinely genuinely it's actually things things were said yeah yeah always like why was i crying yes oh god that was a roller coaster i always feel like um often it's either i need to sleep get changed like into something comfortable or those are the three things really in my life that i start if i'm acting out of character acting weird

yeah it's like get into pajamas or get something comfortable eat something and if you're still bad then sleep but like those two usually sort me out also like on the sciencey angle i don't know what this stat is and i would love for everyone to correct me but like not in my dms it's fine just like just emotionally send me in your mind telepathically and i'll pick it up yeah don't tell me it'll reach me somehow just tell me emotionally yeah i'm wrong um that x amount of something x amount of serotonin is produced in the gut and it's high 90 or something it's something mental and my therapist told me this and there's like journals and literature on

it like this is what i mean by it's not woo woo even though it feels really woo woo it's like if serotonin is what i want and boy do i want it i can't get enough i'll take the lot i'll take the lot then yeah if i can manipulate the chemicals in my body to encourage more serotonin which you physically tangibly can yeah then we should definitely definitely be doing that but anyway um so i always think dinner yeah eat whatever you eat your delightful food and we're with you i also just in the on the winter uglies thing i remember saying at the beginning of the year that i wanted to like take care of my skin like make sure i bless you um make sure i sneezed yeah like you were blessed you know when you sneeze on your period not nice oh no that's me

right now it's not where it's horrible um oh yeah i was saying at the beginning of the year in terms of the winter uglies and stuff yeah i wanted to like not go to bed with my makeup on like i wanted to wake up and like wash my face and moisturize it out of like just pure love of like i'm taking time my skin feels so juicy i feel good and i'm doing it to take care of myself yeah kind of um in um kind of uh what's the word in protest i guess of like all the times that i felt so low and empty and deathly that i just wouldn't take care of myself like in really basic ways like just literally i'm not leaving my bed so i'm a shell of a human sort of thing yeah and like getting up

and washing your face i'm hearing is like a is the done thing by a lot of people and there are a lot of things that are not routine for me and i'm still like trying to nail down basic levels of like care of myself like i feel like i i'm really my tendency is to be really neglectful of myself it's awful um and i didn't keep a resolution like i definitely haven't done it every day there have been days where i've gone to bed with my makeup on like there have been many days like the idea that you have to do something every day to have achieved something it's a load of shit yeah like what it's been a working course you've achieved it you've literally completely flipped your routine well i wouldn't say that but i've just if you were going to bed without taking off your makeup and all that stuff and now i mean sometimes i guess i do i don't know i mean i don't know the stats but i've definitely

i definitely think i feel good doing it now like i i really feel like it just makes me feel like look here i am i actually remember molly may i don't know if you heard her say this that i think it was when she was pregnant or maybe when she'd just given birth or around that time and she was like not feeling great about her body in particular so there's no body image thing but she was saying that she she was obsessed with like sponges and washing herself and like moisturizing did you pick up on that yeah she was obsessed with sponges i remember i haven't seen a sponge in a while other than washing yeah yeah no she was loving sponges i'm sure she still does speak for molly may but yeah but she was saying that a thing that she was doing was like really

taking time to moisturize her body head to toe and look in the mirror while she was doing it and it made her feel so good yeah really moisturizing herself and almost like her skin physically felt amazing and it was also really important for her to like look at herself and see herself in that body that she didn't necessarily connect to and blah blah blah and i just thought that was a really beautiful sentiment i'm sure lots of her audience really liked that yeah i thought it was really nice and i think that's what i'm feeling with my skincare is almost like i don't need to do this it's just purely for me and it makes me feel like a functioning human a real life human girl it makes me feel real and on the planet and like

i'm i'm i'm normal yeah and connecting with your I think, is such a thing that we just don't know how to do as women other than, like, through the male gaze, like, in terms of, like, sexualisation format and we actually really, if you tune into it,

it's like, I don't know, there's not really that much awareness about how we feel within our own bodies that much. Especially, like,

kind of from the neck down. Like, you almost see yourself as a bit, like, there's, I don't know, there's a dissociation sometimes with, the actual your actual body i think doing something like that moisturizing in like a non-sexual way but looking at your body it's like yeah actually yeah this isn't me moisturizing myself in like some sort of male gaze porn way

no i'm looking at yeah it's like i'm bent over the bath like my ass holds out yeah this isn't sexual i'm just looking at my body and i'm moisturizing it and that is a very different way that women the women are trained to see their bodies especially because she was either pregnant or just had a baby it's like whoa you are your god you are god at that point you're god on earth god almighty pregnant woman god which is just woman god women women women goosebumps shivers women women women women women women i wonder if the more we'll talk about that tarot reading the more we'll realize it's like god she was a genius she was right women women no yeah she was on something yeah all right well if you don't hear from us we love you we love you we love you oh we love you so much if you don't hear from us assume we slayed too hard We'll be right back. and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap.

Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet.