Goes Without Saying - boundaries: interpersonal condoms and what to do when they break

Episode Date: February 3, 2020

this week we're getting personal. we're talking all things BOUNDARIES. how do we create them? do they work better in theory than practice? join us (sephy & wing) as we break down how boundaries intersect with self-care, toxic relationships, friendships, and communication styles. with some personal stories and harsh truths, get ready to set some major boundaries this week. speak your mind on our instagram! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wendy's has a new breakfast deal. Mix and match two items of your choice for only $4. Breakfast wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small seasoned potatoes or small hot coffee. Choose two for $4 at Wendy's. Available for a limited time at participating Wendy's in Canada. Taxes extra. Hello and welcome back to Hire Priestess.

I'm Persephone. And I'm Erin. And today we're talking all about boundaries, interpersonal condoms and what to do when they break, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by JK Rowling. That is hilarious. Starring Eddie Redmayne and whoever else in our film. I'm really excited for this one as usual. As usual guys we i can't stop being excited your two favorite podcasters talking about but we are they're not around actually we tried to get them as guests but they actually didn't want to have anything to do with us today

so we're talking about boundaries this is a big thing at the moment i think i think it's slowly like a word that more and more people are thinking, oh yeah, I like the sound of that. It's kind of an Instagram thing. It really is. Like I'm protecting my space and protecting my energy. Which is us. Just looking at that toxic energy. Which is our brand.

You're just toxic. You are just toxic. The taste of your lips. I'm on a ride with the lips. You're toxic and I'm slipping under. Fully slipping under though. Oh, slipping under the rug. That's why I think everyone's drawn to this boundaries concept because it's like, yeah, I'm fully slipping under. Fully slipping under though. Oh, slipping under the rug. That's why I think everyone's drawn to

this boundaries concept because it's like, yeah, I'm fully slipping under. If you can give me something that has a cute little name, boundaries, and I can put that into my everyday life. Oh, just give me a reason that I can stay home and watch Netflix. Because I did actually set a boundary.

Like I did actually set a boundary so I can't come out tonight. Stunning. Isn't that it though? It's like, give me a reason that I can stay home. Yeah, I love that. That is divine. Oh, so divine. We're a bit weird in this. I'm loving this. isn't that it though it's like give me a reason i can stay home yeah i love that thanks that is divine oh so divine we're a bit weird i think also what makes boundaries such the like buzzword

that it is is because everybody wants them but no one knows how to do it because it's almost like well i'm really great that those boundaries are working for you but that could never work for me in my relationship yeah it's a bit it's just a bit too complicated for me like my family my boyfriend i mean that would just never work it's like i can't actually cut them off but i can like yeah it's like realistically i can't actually set the boundaries but i appreciate the idea instagram thanks yeah it sounds great until you actually have to do it because it's like quite uncomfortable to be like actually i'm gonna stop engaging in a behavior that i've been doing for ages or it's like i don't like how that person is treating me i know that's bad but I love them oh god I can't wait to get into this

one me too it's gonna get good when I think about boundaries I kind of think about the thing that me and you have been talking to each other about quite a lot recently which is like self-narrating and like sharing with intention oh which is what we've been kind of speaking about in our own personal lives which you guys can't hear about beyond the higher process conversations beyond yeah beyond our three-hour conversation conversations we speak all day every day and many things come up it's not all business yesterday on the phone we spoke for about 45 minutes did i speak to her yesterday yeah for ages and you know what we did we analyzed analysed in detail every point of Rupert Grint's career.

Of course we did. Of course we did. We were like, well, the problem with what he did is he didn't wait long enough. I also quite like that the end of our phone call is always very abrupt. Right, I've got to go now. Bye, thanks. Thanks so much. I just wanted to hear your voice.

Right, see you later. Yeah, we always start phone calls with, I just want to hear your voice. Right, two hours later. Okay, thanks. Got my fix. Bye. So we've worked through what emma watson did right what rupert grint did slightly wrong daniel radcliffe what's he doing right now we've gone through the whole cast we've actually come to quite a settled conclusion i think that they're all doing all right yeah they're doing fine we worked out that rupert grint's got this like long-term girlfriend who's georgia from angus thomps and we've decided we're happy for him and that yeah that works for me as long as you're happy rupert we're happy that's fine by me we

fully love you but that's what we did yesterday that was our day yesterday day well spent and now today you're doing it but that's something that we speak we were speaking about not rupert green's career but we were talking about the idea of self-narrating and sharing with intention yeah so what do you mean by that so for me a boundary that i've been kind of working on yeah i think something that or that a boundary that people don't really look at is how much of yourself that you're giving away to people that don't that don't use that info how you want them to use it i am just sorry i have to interrupt by saying i'm so happy every time we do these conversations they just go in a way that i didn't i just i'm so glad

i just didn't think that you were gonna say that and now it's oh i can't wait for this combo what did you think i was gonna say i just didn't even think there's a split between two point yeah i'm really excited about that okay yeah so i've definitely that's something we've spoken loads about yeah it's kind of our topic of the moment oh 100 because it ties in with vulnerability and we're so like okay well you have to be vulnerable in order to get what you want but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to give everything to everyone at all given times which is such a weird thing because i feel like vulnerability or like sharing your truest self was such a thing of like um 2019 was like the year of vulnerability surrender like definitely

just like be vulnerable to life like blah blah blah and now we're all kind of realizing be vulnerable but also like don't be too vulnerable because that will get used against you yeah be careful too yeah be fully yourself be fully open to certain people but don't give that to everyone so what my advice yeah so what made you think that you needed to think about introducing new boundaries i think recently there have just been a few instances where things that i've shared with people i haven't really been thinking critically about that i've just been like just be vulnerable just tell people what's going on in your life and now it's a bit like oh close to you yeah yeah and not just people that's kind of like just those people that you chat to about things like oh yeah

i was thinking this the other day blah blah blah and then they've used that against me in some way just kind of people all around the world doing things like that people taking log of everything that you're that you're saying and it's like oh okay actually now if going forward i'm thinking critically about who i share with and what i share with them definitely and i think i highly recommend well there's definitely a balance to be struck because i've definitely had it in the past where i haven't my boundaries have been too strong yeah yeah you don't want it the other way you don't want to never open up and i'm not really yeah i'm not really someone that opens up very easily oh i'm the opposite yeah whereas you are the opposite and i think a balance between the two of us is quite a good mix maybe some of you

will be that perfect balance that we just can't seem to get we can't you're just like arms folded i'm kind of like tell me everything thing is also i think it's difficult because speaking just from my own life i bond with people over open conversation yeah shared trauma that's the only thing i connect with almost defo but my thing is i know i'm not gonna tell you mine so i'm just gonna listen to yours like you will think i'm an incredible listener and that's fine by me that's the role that i'll take on and i will feel close to you and you will definitely feel close to me because you've been nodding along yeah you've been able to confide in me so nothing's lost between us except for you've never really seen the real me but i don't love that because i i like it in a protect your energy way but i also think does

that cut off certain closeness 100 it cuts off almost it's almost it's not even about i think in my personal experience it was never about cutting off like a closeness between a relationship it was more on a personal level if you're not looking or you're not willing to open up to anybody for why yeah why because yeah you have a right to open up i almost felt like and still now i'm really selective with who i tell what and even like people close to me i will still be in control of your narrative 100 being in control of my narrative and it's almost because part of it is like okay well i'm inherently feeling like a burden already just talking i will i can't stand that like can't relate it's like okay well i'm inherently feeling like a burden already just talking oh well i can't

stand that like can't relate it's like i just can't stand that for you but beyond that yeah it's like well yeah you have a voice and you should use it and also that's part of a relationship as a two-way thing of not just confiding but you know i mean being that other person yeah the listener yeah that's the thing i was oh who was there's a balance i was listening to a podcast the other day as i do 24 7 podcast i was listening to high priestess it's a great podcast i think it was actually mcundwar yeah i said what i said and she was saying that in conversations is an episode it's called like how to communicate better in 2020 i think that's actually exactly the title word for word word for word you said what you said yeah i said what i said guys so she was saying that when you're in a conversation and you use

an anecdote to like match that anecdote someone say oh so yeah i i fell over the other day rather than going okay and what was that like for you go oh my god i fell out i fell over the other day and it's like you think that's communication but actually it's just like what did that add what did that add well it adds something because then you show that you can match their anecdote with a similar anecdote and two people who have been through a similar experience can share something on a communal level and i actually think there's a problem with people i think we think okay well ever you have to all of these boundary posts on instagram are full of like this is what you should say you should say i hear you i respect you i'm listening to you like stiff language how did that make you feel when you fell over how did that make you feel i'm here for you

where sometimes you do want someone to say i fucking fell over the other day god that was embarrassing anyway i completely agree and i think also it encourages it's definitely true and we've said this before in our in our two hour conversations not about how i present well that's a short one where we say we make no or at least just under we we see it we notice when someone is constantly saying i i i starting every conversation with i it does stick out like a sore thumb like an absolute like the sore thumb is the eye yeah literally um and that is obviously something and i think obviously with social media and just the way that we communicate now is changing so much and we are

and can be incredibly like self-centered creatures but i don't think there's anything wrong with someone matching an anecdote i think there's a time and place and i think in some cases that definitely works and in some places it doesn't and i think it's naive to say that that is the wrong thing to do overall because sometimes that's perfect and that's exactly what that person needs i completely agree and i'm i do i do it as well matching the anecdotes but yeah i think that there's something about it does it because it's hard to communicate but it's also how not to communicate like have you ever been in a conversation with someone and you say oh my god i'm going through this thing yeah yeah i'm good i'm just going through this thing at the moment and they say oh my god i'm going through that thing as well

and it's like you step past the bonding thing because it's like you might even know that information already you're close friends if you're sharing this thing but you're just matching matching matching matching and now it's a battle but it's not even the battle it's like what are we adding like the conversation is exactly this we're just going in circles each anecdote is just telling the same thing over and over again it's just like all we're just going in circles each anecdote is just telling the same thing over and over again it's just like all we're doing is that we have the same experience we're not adding anything unless your anecdote can add something new yeah but that's the thing i think a lot of the time or i think sometimes at least and i think this is the danger of that narrative of being like

don't do this and then everyone starts thinking god well everyone does that and also it's like it's all conversation yeah yeah that is also a huge part of communicating and knowing how to communicate effectively is understanding the emotion that someone is bringing you and understanding the scenario and being able to match that and offer something and i think often you are offering something because it's not i totally agree everyone's been in that situation where you're holding up a story and it's immediately taken away from you and replaced with well my story is blah blah blah and i think that is 100 a thing not arguing with that but i think there's like an undercurrent of this narrative of

like well you need to say i i validate you the rules of conversation which are completely stiff it's like remember that thing it was like a meme that i remember i had to message you and say what does this mean mean and it was someone like replying to a text and it went viral but it's like i have no time for you at the moment do you remember this oh yeah it was like it's the meme that says are you in a position to receive information that could potentially harm you yes yeah me like i can't remember whatever i said completely wrong yeah but yeah no that meme it's almost like it's like don't ever use prescribed language because it's gonna sound fucking stiff and like you're not human you're gonna sound like a robot that's totally it and

as much as we now are going to talk to you about boundaries i don't know your personal connections and your personal dynamics of your relationships yeah and in some situations it's great to say i fell over yeah i fell over too and in some situations it's great to say i fell over yeah i fell over too and in some situations it's great to say i fell over okay how did that make you feel or you know what do you need from me in this scenario i would just say with that one the matching anecdote thing yeah all that is is all that can be huh all that can be what does that mean because i don't think it's all that is because it's so different different that that story from mcundra yeah yeah i think what she was getting at is well i'm sure i agree as well well who wouldn't agree with me she's exactly yeah but i think what's going on there is it's just saying like be critical with your communication like yeah why do you feel the

need to share i'm the queen of sharing the The high priestess of sharing. Yeah. But I think be critical about why you're sharing that. Do you just want to speak to speak? Or do you want to speak to share? What's going on here? Or speak to answer that thing? Like why are you...

100%. Why are you opening your gob right now? Yeah. When you should be opening yours. Yeah. Is that game... Is there a payoff for you? Is there a payoff for somebody else?

And if it's like mutual connection, yeah, that's the reason to do it but don't do it for oh my god i have the same story no no we just heard that story though like we're done with that story like we're moving on i think there's also i love that and i think that really ties into something that i was thinking about when i was thinking about boundaries when i was thinking about thinking about boundaries yeah in my experience with boundaries and i think also something that i just think this is the crux of the issue with boundaries is boundaries most of the time are your boundaries between the rest of the world but your boundaries and your understanding of your boundaries will be different from the rest of the world's understanding of their boundaries so for example my boundary could

be okay well i mean this is obviously going to this is just a hypothetical i'm dressing up to be extreme for the sake of the example love it my boundary between you and i could be okay well i want to speak to this to sephie why did you laugh i know it's funny that you're persephone if anyone's confused about my name i kind of look like as if that's your pet name that is your official nickname by the way and I'm not hearing any other. My official birth name, Persephone. Stunning. That's on the birth certificate, guys. Iconic. You can't argue with that.

You can't argue with the documentation. Then I just have many nicknames coming off that name. Or to egos. Honestly, I can't move for personalities. I don't know who I am. But when you're with me, you're Seffy. Yeah, I'm Seffy, but also Persephone. It's just a formal thing. I have also many others. If you know me from school, you're with me you're seffy yeah i'm seffy but also persephone it's just a formal thing i have also many others if you know me from school you're confused let's just move on

so my boundary with you could be okay well i want to see seffy on monday tuesday and that's it and i'm going to cut everything else because that's my boundary and that's what i need for my mental health well i'm angry at that well exactly immediately you're thinking well i need my four-hour conversation i need my, I need my four hour conversation. I need my this, I need my that. What do you mean? I just need to hear your voice on a, on a Saturday.

And that's your boundary. First thing, my weekend routine. Hello. I just wanted to hear your voice. No, it's not I want to, I need it. No, fully. I honestly just needed to. And sometimes I'm like, I don't have anything to say.

I just don't want you to hang up. We clearly. Well, we clearly remember. I'm brushing my teeth on the phone saying, sorry, but please don't hang up. What makes me laugh when we're on the phone is every now and then one of us will go, sorry, you'll hear me weeing. And then you go, sorry, you'll hear me flush.

But that might be too much for the boundary yeah i mean maybe some would say my boundary is i'm not gonna wee on the phone to you well there you go but that's the thing surely with boundaries when they're between you know two or more people surely one is always going to be in compromise yeah because what are the chances that they're gonna match exactly that so yeah how does that work for example in my experience there's whenever i think of boundaries there's always one person in particular that i think it would be really good to activate some boundaries right now big boundary button like boundaries come in

like i need a big interpersonal condom like reaching in my back pocket for my interpersonal condom honestly interpersonal condoms it's the new concept guys it's the concept because my idea of boundaries just my idea of life is very different to this person's but oh i don't know how strong i can be this person is pretty much in my family circle you don't know who it is you're thinking of someone else i literally nodded like aha got it no no i was speaking about this person before in a podcast and said it's like when i'm with this person they are drowning in their insecurities and they're using my head and pushing me under the best um analogy of all time that is just the visual it's like i'm like spluttering it's just like get down where's my fucking condom

and yeah i'm just being absolutely drowned alive drowned alive so and i think this is also i mean there's loads of things coming in now but especially with family that is so difficult to navigate because obviously everybody's situation is totally different and yeah there's no prescriptive like rule book there's no guide maybe we should make a guide how to how to set boundaries how to create your own how to purchase your own interper yeah just called interpersonal condoms and how to find them yeah use whatever like a 50 pack how to find them or where to find oh no i'm thinking you're thinking fantastic reason where to find them again god it's just in my mind i've never i literally watched 10 minutes of that film and thought not for me

not for me no there's not a canon at all so go on i want to hear the story of this person honestly i don't have the time to tell the whole story it would be a whole nother podcast in itself it would be it would also be the most scandalous podcast 100 it's the adventures of blank blank yeah it was just crazy anyway i mean long list, years and years and years, piling up, just piles and piles. Honestly, can't move for drama. And I don't like drama at all. I like it when I'm not in it.

I love- Yeah, it's nice to watch. Well, I like to get, what is it, BBC dramas. They're nice to watch every now and then. If you saw Dr. Foster, it's nice to watch it. No, no, I like drama unraveling when i'm not in it if i can step away from it i hate drama in my family i hate drama drama in my friendship groups but drama that's happening to sort of on my periphery my drama with my family i love your

yeah your family drama get me the popcorn for example yeah yeah yeah years and years and years of drama basically and years of the whole drowning thing and it got to a point where a huge outburst happened not from my part on her on their end i'm slipping but yeah i'm not i'm not disclosing any information person will not be you're treading so carefully like um any resemblances to uh this is totally fiction anything it resembles your real life is completely yeah love it um yeah piled up obviously you know just this whole thing blew up proportion and from then we were cut off ghosted boom neither of us are talking blocked on everything you both ghosted one another well she just went out both

died and turned into ghosts yeah at the same simultaneously yeah she just went absolutely like off off she went off sis went off off the grip she fully went off and so i just thought yeah i'm out of here it's like i don't i've never heard it before and i just thought yeah i'm dusting i'm out of here like a light to be honest you know those situations where and maybe you've been on the other end of them where someone is looking for any they're clutching at any reason to not be involved with you anymore that was me oh i've been there yeah any argue and she just had this whole thing at me and i thought perfect now i can escape you yeah and i did for years actually and it worked really really well until then later on things popped up again but overall my idea of boundaries and my idea of life is very different to that person's and yet what do i do because at weddings and funerals god forbid and births and parties and life events

are you both showing up to you're both literally there the birth of christ i eat christmas oh the birth the birth his birth but all of those moments where you know you're tied to someone presumably for life it's not a good thought no and it's very difficult person off like productively exactly yeah so my we'll come back to that cutting off productively because i love that but my whole thing would be productive these days honestly busy busy business meeting after meeting after meeting everyday meeting i knew at some point i had to draw the line with this person and i had known to be honest the whole time i'd known them ever since i met them i thought how I going to get out of this one?

Oh, hi, I'm blank. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. You're going to be a problem for me. I'm sorry, we actually have a situation on our hands now. Literally. It really was a huge, it bothered me.

And it started disrupting my daily life. And I think that is when you know something needs to change. Either you're just going to get on with a miserable life and never live to be happy you're just living for somebody else yeah or you actually just you know you do something and you actually make the change and as a consequence live a better life and i thought yeah i have to do that so i got rid nice uh i was gonna say never to be seen again i actually haven't seen them since this person now is very much like i've moved on the situation has moved on i'm a i'm totally a better person now they've basically come forward and said i was incredibly toxic to be around i love that i've changed so much i'm a

whole new person i'm so deeply sorry for everything please can we move forward and you're saying yes but silently shaking your head i'm not buying it yeah so now i'm still doing the thing of okay well i want to avoid you but in my mind outwardly i'm saying yeah okay great but but inwardly i know not gonna i don't believe a word of it yeah and it's not gonna happen so how do i navigate i'm posing this to you now apparently but that's i think it's a difficult one because it's like on levels yeah first of all i'm not i'm already i've fucked it up by not going with rule one communicate effectively i don't think you do need to communicate effectively and like even though

obviously i i'm like i think obviously it goes without saying communication does solve most issues but with this sort of thing just read let her read the fucking subtext you're saying yeah sure would be great to meet you at some point you're not giving a date just let her work it out that you don't want to because sometimes it's not worth having this huge conversation where you're like being completely honest like thing is you are just still toxic i don't believe you blah blah blah i've moved on with my life that's a difficult convo to have it's almost easier you've set the boundary almost you don't need to communicate it with her yeah i yeah i agree and i also think i mean i would never really and we really don't use the word toxic like i would never just sweep

someone like tarnish them with the brush of toxicity because i think we think there's so much more to the idea of toxic yeah relationships yeah obviously if someone's abusive they're toxic yeah exactly but then they're abusive anyway the language i would never normally say okay you're toxic so i'm not dealing with you anymore but it is that thing of like okay well you've for years and years and years of my life poured in nothing but like hatred and shit and negativity and what now i'm supposed to come with come to you and be a grown-up with a great little you know analysis of the events and say i'm really sorry to leave you with this but i'm not interested and come you know with a fully communicated an essay thesis yeah no thank you no actually i can't be bothered so fuck you yeah it's almost

like how long i always think this how long does someone have to pay for their actions and almost with this it's like no the expiry date isn't up yet like i'm still working through the things that you caused me so you've come a bit early actually for you for me to turn around and like oh actually i wasn't expecting you until in about 10 years time when i was having a baby yeah it's like actually this wasn't you're out you're not scheduled you're out of sync mate yeah stop no yeah sorry i haven't actually wrote you in for this year you're not in this decade pencil you in somewhere yeah no just it's all written No, no, no. It's all written in pen. It was printed out. It's laminated.

Don't change your schedule. Yeah, I actually think that's it. I think when someone has given you nothing but shit, I actually think it's fine to turn around and be like, my boundary is ghosting and that's just what it's going to be. I have a boundary and you don't get the privilege of knowing it.

It's communicating productively. Yeah. And I might leave you with a little piece of like, well, this is what's happened. So this is what I'm going to do. Thanks. Hope you have hope you have a great time like you know a nice stability yeah but but you don't need to be vulnerable you don't need to go in again with oh sorry i'm still healing from what happened blah blah blah now they know shit and you know their personality and then what they can use it against you when they're feeling wounded again like no or like all those years

that they've had with you and now what they get an extra half an hour of you drafting up a text in your notes to send them and then worry about for an extra two days yeah consulting people should i send this yeah how much more of your life are you going to give them access to none get the condom on yeah honestly get the condom on the one is over so i had in my notes a little question to myself. Do boundaries come with self-respect and like growth? Like as I've got older, I've definitely learned what my boundaries are and how to put them into practice. And I think it is actually a link to that age old thing of like,

oh, well, I don't want it. It's embarrassing to ask him to put a condom on. Oh my God, yeah. Isn't it? And then as you get older, it's like put that fucking condom on you disgusting boy. Don't go anywhere near me with that thing. Literally that. Yeah, yeah. I think that it's like put that fucking condom on you disgusting boy don't go anywhere near me with that thing literally that yeah yeah i think that it's basically learning it's just learning your own worth with a boundary with any kind of boundary whether that be a latex boundary

um or a metaphorical boundary between you you and i it's learning oh actually that what i did there didn't make me feel good like that made me feel bad and now it's okay oh actually that what i did there didn't make me feel good like that made me feel bad and now it's okay for me to say no yeah because i've learned my worth i have some understanding of human worth well and it's also like the experiences that i've been through all those instances where i've had my vulnerability then use against me it's like okay now i know to further progress in my life i'm'm going to prevent those experiences from unfolding again because now I know I need to have the boundary. I need to have the condom on.

How long do you reckon you've known the... This is just such a question. So I've only just worked out the whole don't share with everyone thing. Oh, right. How long have you been doing that? Because I really think I've only worked that out, like, in the last few months. Oh, my God. I mean, we wanted to do a whole podcast on this,

but this is the first thing that I thought of when you just said that to me and I was gonna say my whole life and then I thought of remember that time we had a conversation about you know what I'm gonna say no I've got no idea me and you you and I had a conversation about when our parents divorced and we were around that for you um 11 years old both of us and we didn't know each other we were like across the country whatever two little sad 11 year olds little did we know little did we know that we would just be discussing that scenario today how funny yeah but when that happened to me with my parents my parents divorced i didn't really tell anyone i told my friends yeah i told my friends kind of like slowly like kind of if my

parents came up like a month later i told like my best friends i think like two girls or whatever and i had like a big group of friends good friends but you were protecting your trauma i guess i was protecting my trauma it depends on what way you look at it. Whereas you went into school the next... You said, the first thing I thought when my parents told me they were getting a divorce was, I can't wait to get attention from this. Yeah, genuinely. And I genuinely went in the next day. They were never married, so it was just a basic split.

Yeah. But I literally thought... I was crying my eyes out, but I did think, oh, fuck, I'm going to milk this. And I went into school because it happened over... Such a Capricorn. It's like, oh, I'm going to monetize this. This is my story time. I know.

It's like 2007. You're like, story time, not clickbait. Yeah, start triggering. Yeah, but I was genuinely like, okay, I'm gonna um capitalize off this and get some like yeah to get some sympathy yeah so i went into school it happened yeah honestly i'm gonna go on x-factor i thought it was gonna hit the big time but i it happened over the summer of like year five to year six or something i think it was that and i went in and I oh my god I was saying it left right and centre I was like in my head I was talking to town it's like my parents split up people were

like we don't believe you I was like ask them it's true like I was honestly I was like here we go this is my moment but I was also incredibly sad like you had genuine feelings about yeah it was a very very awful time it was also like i'm gonna get attention because what happens now is you get attention when this happens and attention is my thing my my leo this thing yeah furthest thing so that that kind of feeds into our communication styles that you very much and our boundary styles and just our coping mechanisms literally oh my god yes yeah yours is go internal mine is internal and also monitor everyone around me my first thought was okay amazing my my mum is going to be happy

finally my dad can be happy like okay great this is going to be good for you you can both go off and learn like this is going to be good really yeah genuinely i remember saying okay this is like the happiest day of my life like i'm finally happy that you've both come to a point where you can communicate and be honest with one another and I'm just happy I'm looking forward to obviously I had no idea the turmoil that would prevail after that it was actually like it was actually the beginning of the beginning of the end but I thought it was the beginning of like happy days yeah yeah it wasn't but whatever doesn't matter we're gonna get into this fully but also that that's so interesting because that is so your personality to monitor the

that libra thing it's just like keep the balance keep the peace whereas mine was i don't think they even occurred to me my parents as people with human emotions well you were a child as well no no but i think it just it was fully centered around my experience and how i could capitalize from this experience yeah so you have been sharing with others from a very young age. Wendy's has a new breakfast deal. Mix and match two items of your choice for only $4. Breakfast wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small seasoned potatoes or small hot coffee.

Choose two for $4 at Wendy's. Available for a limited time at participating Wendy's in Canada. Taxes extra. Because I don't, as you say, like when did you realize that you shouldn't share everything with everyone i don't think that's a conscious i mean now it is because we're obviously being self-aware and like trying to be critical and progress or whatever develop ourselves but i think as a child and like in your youth and just in your deep internal like cognitive workings of your beating yeah i don't think that's something that you think about when it's to do with how you cope with things i think it's only as you get older and

you grow and you learn and you deal with different experiences that you can pinpoint what your coping mechanisms are yeah and how much or how little you share with people yeah and where that's learned from because i remember it just sort of came to me then when my parents split up the first thing I did got on the phone to my friend dad her phone her home phone number like to her mum like her mum's house and I just said my parents have split up and she said okay and I just put the phone down then she ran back a few seconds later and I did her mum in the background be like ask if she wants to come around she's like do you want to come around i'm like no do you want to come to us do you want to come to mine no bye weird fucking yeah it's like let's spread this around that kind of is life when you're 11

it is life when you're 11 but it's also it's the opposite of go into my room make sure mom's okay monitor everyone and internalize and think inwards mine was very much project outwards also you're the oldest and i was an only child so i wonder if i think actually something to maybe other only childs will maybe get i mean everyone could maybe understand what i'm saying hopefully i'm not that like in that i think when you're an only child and i was just raised around obviously i had like a large family and i had cousins and people my age but i was largely around people who were generations older than me older than me yeah and i think you learn not just from a young age that you don't have anyone on your level to speak to but beyond that you learn that you just learn to communicate like an adult

from a very very very young age and you process things like an adult because it's all you see yeah you're not hanging around with people that are running around i'm not running around 11 year old thomas the tank engine yeah but i think it is that i think part of it is i think maybe the reason of why i'm not a big sharer and i am like you know the innings of my life this is what i mean by selective sharing selective communication only it's not conscious no no but it's like you open up to the people that you know it's i'm not gonna but it's like you open up to the people that you know it's i'm not gonna fucking use it against you yeah i only open up when it's safe to do so whereas i'm shouting this shit around town i think both of us have our basically that

as we said at the beginning yeah find the sweet spot find the g-spot honestly don't do what we don't don't do what either of us do take Take our advice, don't follow our behaviours. Yeah, do as I say, not as I do. Yeah, honestly that. So I think with boundaries and stuff, so now we're at the point where we know that your vulnerability, you don't always share with everyone. Yeah, okay. Share with the people you trust, don't share with everyone. Every Tom, Dick and Harry.

Yeah. But what about when you're excited about something? Because this is the thing that you kind of pointed out. Oh, okay, you're sharing with the wrong people because they're using it against you to me or in the wrong way yeah i'm almost because i share very much everything with my close friends very explicitly yeah very explicitly i'm really excited or i'm really upset because this specific thing happened this is how it made me feel blah blah blah i'm not talking their ears off but i i do when you leave nothing to the imagination yeah i don't own my narrative i tell every aspect and i think that's also i do have really close

friendships with people i think that's partly why but it's also it doesn't mean you should share every moment with every person and i think the problem recently with my communication is that i've been sharing the good things too much and people love to take down good things. I love it. What are your thoughts? I just love that you, like, I just love the self-development. I love the progression.

Like, I love that you're like aware of, do you know what I mean? I'm a self-aware girl. Yeah, you are. No, but it is that thing though, that when you're sharing, sharing the bad things, people connect, sharing the good things,

the wrong person will tear down. Well, there's a difference between being vulnerable and oversharing oh my god that's just it yeah because you can still be vulnerable i'm i'm still vulnerable in my life i just don't overshare i'm vulnerable when i need to get the payoff from being vulnerable i'm processing i think that's exactly it there's a difference between being vulnerable and oversharing but in my self two even two months ago a year ago whenever i was doing this i don't think i was oversharing because you know you meet those people that say oh i'm an oversharer yeah and it's like it's like honestly shut up yeah you've already annoyed me you're already in my bad place like that cannot be your personality like shut to be honest you're just clawing on something you heard on the internet

let me guess you've never seen game of thrones either like that's not a personality trait you hate the last season okay we get it we get it we both like that i love it to be honest you can't game of thrones you can't do me wrong to be honest oh no never anything where sophie turner's involved you can't to be honest i didn't hear good things about dark phoenix yeah i heard bad things about that so so you can't do me wrong but i heard about dark phoenix yeah i heard bad things about that so so you can't do me wrong but i heard she was quite good in it i heard she was the best thing about it which is quite good that is good good for her my queen my queen of the north honestly my queen my priestess anyway there's a difference between vulnerability and being an oversharer and

i say if you identify as an oversharer you are talking too much no one likes an oversharer that's a that's a difficult if you are an oversharer do you like being an oversharer i think that's what's important is it serving you i can't imagine really that it is i can't imagine your friends are thanking you i can't imagine that you're thanking you because surely things are coming back to you and surely you're not being productive in your communication if you're just sharing and sharing for the sake of sharing yeah with no payoff for anybody what's the point just be quiet it's almost quite um like scheming because you are being productive in your communication because the thing you want is just me me me the me the me time the me me me world me. The me time. The me, me, me world. Yeah. A wee me.

I'm trying. I don't know what that oh my god why'd you know because i use it on memes all the time i was freestyling i was like i'm like reading the lyrics and the lyrics are i was honestly freestyling in that sounds like you're saying

you wouldn't believe i was freestyling so can you give me an example of you though of me you're just like oversharing yeah or just i don't like this narrative no no that's what i mean yeah not an example of you ever sharing as in what's i know you're not an oversharer no but also i think there's a difference between there's almost three spec there's kind of okay i've got a spectrum going on right now yeah at one end there is an oversharer at one end there is an erin me you're kind of like i don't share oh what the fuck is that is it an erin okay an erin that's me so i would say i'm kind of i'm close to the end of oversharer but there's a sweet spot in the middle neither me nor erin is close to this spot yeah to be honest you're not not even one end. You're kind of half in as well. Yeah, I don't...

I'm not having any issues with where I am. No, exactly. It's actually working quite well. The spectrum's going even larger. So at one end there's an overshare, at one end there's little silent girl. Yeah. Erin's closer to little silent lamb girl.

Than I am to overshare. And there's oversharing. I would say I'm pretty close to the centre. Let me think. If you're doing overshare-er to someone silent, I would say i'm pretty close to the middle because i know when to speak i know when it's appropriate to give what i'd like to hear a little more well for example i would share anything with you because i know it's worthwhile yeah i would share what i can on the podcast because i know it's worthwhile to people listening um And I am always even if it's not conscious about

where I'm sharing, what is conscious is I think before I speak, and every time I go to speak, I think is this productive, not just for me, but for everybody else with intention? Yeah, with intention. So I think I am quite close to the middle. If it's a spec, if your spectrum is oversharer and silent girl, I'm not an oversharerare and i'm not a silent girl no no and nothing i'm doing with my communication is going wrong for me so i think i'm all right oh my god you beat you beat communication you built you i've got my condom on yeah you've got your interpersonal condom on well it is what it is but i don't i think what i'm doing isn't going wrong for me right so anyway the only thing at risk at the other end yeah so the silent girl the silent girl the risk is that you don't get any friendships yeah the name in itself

is like it's not good you're internalizing you're internalizing and you yeah that's yeah that's obviously not you and that is a difficult place to be but the oversharer as well that's kind of like shut the fuck yeah and you're not an oversharer no no i don't so that's why i want an example of like what do you know i mean like what's what are you trying to what are you drawing the boundary on where are you drawing the line so my new boundary in terms of commute is it is to do with communication with people who are close to me so me included no no no so my boundary that i'm talking about is to do with communication and that's why i bring this up this oversharing thing yeah and it's most more specifically with one particular person that i'm trying to not cut about not cut

a tie in any way this is the thing but you're kind of doing it to progress the relationship exactly it's like i cannot continue this relationship if i keep sharing the things that are required to share in friendship so i am kind of but i don't want to lose you yeah yeah i definitely i'm not willing to lose that relationship so i'm kind of having to self-narrate or speak with intention purpose productivity to be able to manage that relationship because every single time i say it's the thing of you're happy when i say something that's gone wrong but every single time i say something that's gone right you're not happy for me and it's not that you're not happy for me you actually want to tear it down which isn't something i'm willing to do and that's when toxicity comes in i think it does but that's

a whole that's a whole new podcast because also it's like it's so minor at the moment that it hasn't reached the toxicity stage yet it's not toxic yet definitely it's just this one thing has to be tweaked which is a shame but this person just is not ready to do that self work yeah they're just no i think that's what's important because you've you've identified that that person is not in a position to do the work because i think there's two ways when you're i think thinking about okay it's come up to you that you need to create a boundary of some sort with somebody maybe in particular and there might be two ways to go about it this way where you realize that you have to withdraw something from the relationship whether that be your time your energy your words whatever the other part is communicating

and like communicating effectively and i think in this situation you're right it's not something sometimes that's just the way it goes in life sometimes there are things the politics doesn't allow for you to bring things up it just doesn't because the person isn't ready to hear it and that's nothing on you not being ready to say it if they're not ready to hear it they're not ready to hear it you said what you said now go yeah literally and that's all you can do and that's fine but we've had this as well i was just thinking in terms of hire we've had this with people yeah no no no no i was gonna say between us imagine i'm actually withholding major information. I'm in a situation that could eventually harm me. No, me and you in one team, let's say.

Yeah. As usual. Yeah, yeah. So me and you have had it with people that we know, where we've decided between us that we're going to withhold things that are to do with hire because... Oh my God, you know what it is?

If anyone's listened to Hamilton or even better seen it, it's so that Aaron Burr, and I think I am a bit of an Aaron Burr, because he says that he's such a Libra. yeah and he says he says i'm getting nervous so fully i'm getting nervous sir he says something basically along the lines of every time you show your opinion that's free ammunition to your enemies every time you give anything out anything any opinion any stance any perspective any truth about yourself and your experience, you are allowing anybody, friend or foe, to take that on and use it as

ammunition if they want to. And they might. And that's just a truth, I think, that we have to accept with the world. That's just how it is. Yeah, that's the thing. Even if you share something with your closest, closest person, that can come back at you. Like it can. And I think that that should not be a case. I'm in no way making a case that you shouldn't share. No, because that's the thing. I think I'm happy to share anything with you. At a romantic moment, should we hold hands?

I'm happy to share anything with you. And in whatever facet of my life that might come back at me, that's all right. Because I knew it was the right thing to do, to share something that was true to me with one of my closest friends. That's fine.'s fine yeah exactly and i don't have a problem with that but if it would be if i knew oh i said something and i actually said that's the i knew i said that i knew i shouldn't have said that well you didn't phrase it right my one of the things i

do is i phrase it all wrong yeah i just completely phrase it wrong so are we trying to get me and erin will both be trying to get the same point across to different people erin's will come out as men mine will come out as kind of i love my life it's so exciting yeah and they'll go oh okay like you you could say to someone oh god things are going really well with hire at the moment blah blah blah this is happening this is happening you know what it is it's about leaving just enough to the imagination where and maybe this is about something about being a woman and when or even something about being british and like you don't want to be seen like you're trying you don't want to be seen like you're achieving anything but it's almost you set up things are going x y and z with

higher and you leave it in their imagination that things are going well you haven't told them things are going well but it's all there for them to infer whereas i'll tell you i'll give you numbers oh yeah i'll get the stats out do you want to see like i'm so loving the stats do you want to see the stats do you want to see the money we made like it's exactly yeah it's like do you want to see do you want to see the events we're going to blah blah it's like no no people don't want to see that because it does heighten well yeah i what i think it is is if you if you came to me and said higher process has got this numbers i'm doing this event it's going x y and z well i will in my mind interpret that as okay well you've given me the best stuff so i'm going to take it down a notch

and think it can't be really that good whereas if i go to someone and say oh well higher process you know it's done this thing it's done this thing you know we've got some few things coming up in the future so it's actually been quite good you know for the time being like things are working out so we're just going to see how it goes in your imagination now you're already thinking fuck they're really onto something here this is really you know i mean this is growing this is bigger than i thought it was and i didn't have to tell you anything i just i was steering you in the wrong direction like the manipulative little libra that i am that's the thing i can't steer i don't want to steer i just want to tell you the facts. Yeah. But if you say to me, for example, if you were running your little lemonade

stand and you made 50 quid and you said to me, oh my God, I made 49 pounds 50 today. I would then in my mind, then I have, I have it all here. Oh, you only sold 20 lemonades. Well, yeah, I can say, okay, well you sold, you sold 20 lemonades. You spent 10 pounds on the lemonade already. So you're already 10 pounds down. You spent 10 pounds on the lemonade already so you're already 10 pounds down you spent 15 pounds on the store so that takes off another 15 pounds it was eight hours of your time to do it and it took another day to set it up so actually you're working at a loss and you didn't tell me that but i've managed to infer it from whatever it was that you gave me and in your mind you gave me the facts but i am dealing with my perception of you and i know that i can work the facts and fill in the blanks

and I can take you down a notch and it's just that easy. We're learning every day on this podcast. Yeah. Every day, Lassie. Just be careful. Just be careful, guys. You control your perception.

Others will have a perception of you. And sometimes the public perception of you can be very far from your reality and that can be good or bad. But you can do what you can to manage your public perception isn't this funny because we we were having a conversation we were saying isn't it annoying when youtubers say oh my god i'm gonna have videos to look back on in years to come and we're saying but really

it is nice that we're gonna have all these podcasts to look back on and see how our thoughts have changed and blah blah blah blah but it's like if i had listened to if i'd made this podcast six months ago i would be the advocate for share everything speak your truth be authentic be you openly and to everyone that has always been my philosophy you'd be getting a very different podcast problem free philosophy honestly yeah don't make me sing what's the matter with you but genuinely that has been my what's the motto with you it has been share everything be you tell everyone that's fine from you especially i've learned maybe you don't i don't well that's the thing i don't want it to be that i'm telling you to keep quiet because i'm not no no i do still advocate for being authentic at all times 100 that is just hyper statuity

be authentic yeah yourself be openly you but then it's also like what is self blah blah blah there's a whole can of worms there are you real it's like i actually don't believe in the self but but when you're sharing information problem free like you have no condom you've stealthed the whole thing you're you're honestly sharing left right and center do not expect people with their own insecurities their own problems to use that information how you it would intend them to yeah it's not going to happen that's it yeah exactly the narrative of the world in your mind is very different unfortunately to the reality and you know constantly we're reminded that things don't work out the way that we want them to or people aren't following our scripts

that we set up for them yeah you can't people will just not follow the character specification that you've set out for them they're their own person and they don't have your best intentions at heart probably yeah i i don't believe they do most of them the majority of people i think that's also it that's a boundary a new a new one not assuming the best in everyone that's honestly a thing and it's bleak as fuck but it's also fucking real as fuck but it's really real and true and i actually think in learning that, in learning that not everyone has the best intentions at heart, through all of this like critical thinking,

it sounds negative at the time. But through that learning, it's incredibly liberating. And actually you learn that your life can actually be full of like actual genuine love because you haven't been wasting your time on people that, you know, is vapid, doesn't do anything. I think that's it. I think that's why critical thinking or kind of restructuring your self-perceptions everything we're trying to do here but restructuring your self-perceptions um like challenging your

insecurities everything that we're doing here at higher high process it sounds scary it's like shit it's a load of work it's scary it means god it means i have to look at my relationship and think oh did i do this did i say this why am i waiting for this yeah you're gonna have to be uncomfortable it is uncomfortable but it's also literally a door to just so much i love it so much more a door to more it's a door who wouldn't want a door to more there's ice cream shops behind that door two more i adore that door but literally there's ice cream shops behind there there's a red ferrari snowcane party every day hope all these references are not paying off yeah they are between us it's fine something else i wanted to talk about as well is how i think and i'm sure you agree oh i'm sure i'm sure you can't

say it's not even worth saying forget it cancel the podcast just it. I'm sure we all agree. I was thinking boundaries, harder to set up for women than men. Go on. Women are expected to be everything for everyone. Yes. Men are allowed to say no. Yeah. Are allowed to be the boss. Are allowed to put themselves first.

Yeah. Are allowed to focus on their own lives, their own hobbies, spend time with themselves, spend time with their spend time with their friends not worry about this not worry about that make money do what you want women is like god you're like breastfeeding you're like wiping your nan's like chin she's got dementia like you're like doing a whole thing you're like filing your papers you're filing your divorce papers you're doing god knows and let's hope you have good hair and you've got acrylic nails on as well because you know i was looking you put also by the way you're putting on weight did we mention that because you're aging quite a bit as well rapidly yeah you're

looking get some moisturizer on buy this really expensive moisturizer 100 pound moisturizer also your your child's failing at school do you want to come in for a parent's evening it's just like ah yeah it's a bit much and it's their time really to say sorry actually i was gonna say madame hooch i was gonna say sorry madame hooch i can't come in and speak to you about my child but true like are you gonna say to your kids teachers sorry i'm actually setting some boundaries at the moment so i'm gonna take some time for myself so when billy starts playing up just just don't mention it to me that's fine i'm actually not in a situation where i'm ready to hear information that will potentially harm me yeah literally isn't it funny that no means no is just something we're learning in the last like five

years like for women is in i saw something today that said don't say maybe when you need when you mean no so how are we just learning this yeah how is this yeah exactly it's like i heard this thing earlier i saw it it said don't say maybe when you mean no oh my god life changing but there will be people that go yeah me me i was like fuck yeah i always say maybe when it's actually no but i say sometimes say maybe yeah it depends because in your situation with your family member say maybe say maybe and mean no oh right of course yeah yeah maybe mean no it's it's a clear communication from you well here you go it's all down to your discretion then isn't it well it's all down to context it's like it's not as simple as a blanket statement of just say no when you

don't say maybe whatever the fuck yeah it's like don't say yeah it's like saying what's right for you in your scenario yeah and that's just it you don't need to have that this is the thing that aren't clean it's feel okay about saying no yeah feel okay about saying maybe feel okay about saying yes yeah feel okay about it all guys feel about saying what you need to say when you need to say it to protect yourself to serve yourself to progress yourself yeah move on with what you were saying about women and no i mean with rape culture it's such a no means no that's a whole thing like the thing we're only learning that was on adverts like three years ago yeah i had to have adverts for that but also i was listening to oprah's podcast my queen yeah i love her no one come for oprah although do slightly she's got issues but

yeah she's problematic but we love her she was on a podcast and reese witherspoon was on the podcast right because they were in a film together called a wink in time or something like that oh yeah a wrinkle in time a wrinkle in time a blink in time um called a wrinkle in time this is not a promo and now we would like to talk to you about today's sponsor a movie that came out two years ago it's like this whole movie that no one really saw from two years ago it was called a wrinkle in time i saw it didn't love it but i listened to a podcast where ruse witherspoon was on oprah's podcast it's so sunday or something like that oh jesus all right yeah and reese was saying there's this whole book. We know where to find

her. If we just go, if we just type in Oprah, it's coming up. I just think I got the name wrong as well. But so Reese Witherspoon was saying, there's this whole thing. It's like, say yes, say yes, say yes. And she was thinking, no, I just want to say no. And as women, you're expected to take every opportunity because things are stacked against you. As we already know, we're not, if we're still working on that as a basic fact leave now yeah you're still working against the clock essentially all the time and again things are stacked against you against the tide basically and for us to say no to any opportunity that's thrown our way is seen as crazy it's like you can't say no you've got to say yes to everything but it's like actually you know what i can't

fucking go out tonight i can't fucking do that thing. I can't commit to this. I can't commit to that. I'm not just going to be wearing myself thin, but I'm going to do a disservice to whatever work that is needing to be happening. Yeah. So let's just be honest and call it quits. But is this our worst thing ever? Is this quote unquote self-care?

Yeah, it is self-care. Part of self-care, we've said this many a time, is doing the uncomfortable shit that you don't want to do i'm saying no it can be really uncomfortable setting boundaries really uncomfortable what is it you don't learn in your comfort zone you need to be uncomfortable to progress anything good or anything worth learning that you've had in your life has probably come from you being slightly out of your debt and you look what you did you just got on with it well done you had to do it yeah it's called evolution it's called darwinism yeah learn it so with like uncomfortable feelings within the idea of setting boundary i

think one emotion that's at the forefront of the spectrum of emotions that you'd feel while setting boundaries is guilt what are your thoughts i completely agree because yeah it's that thing of like it's almost not okay to say that you're doing anything for yourself especially if you're a young woman yeah it's like well you should be well no you should be working for free it's all about the hours it's all about getting your name out yeah it's you know you should really do that for them because you know you owe them one or whatever and sometimes no it is about you it's about what you want. And what you can do. And what you can handle, yeah.

Fuck everyone else. I'm getting a bit sick of it. No, that's not the advice. That's not the advice. This seems to be my theme at the end of the podcast. We just get really angry. Well, in the catcalling one, we... Getting fumed.

We were getting angry. I came away from that feeling a bit shaken up. Oh, I had shivers. Shiver me timbers. Honestly, shiver me timbers. The heart marty i think we can leave it there i think we've uncovered god many we've unturned many a stone yeah we've gone through the layers the layers and layers of boundaries yeah for sure i mean there's more to say but we can and also really we got into our sort of parents split our parents divorce yeah i hope you maybe you guys

should set up a boundary with us like we're just like dumping all of our childhood trauma on you why are we sharing so much because anyone could be listening anyone can access anyone can access this um i think it's been worthwhile but i think it's been worthwhile i've definitely learned things i hope you guys have learned things or had fun in the process. I really hope so. I think we're learning. We're learning more and more as these go on. Oh, we learn as we go. This has definitely been one of my favourite ones.

Yeah, this just kind of poured out of us. Yeah. There's a lot to say. I mean, we could definitely go again. I think why it's pouring is because we're still learning. Oh, for sure. It's raining. It's pouring.

The old man is snoring. Snoring big time. Yeah. And he should set some fucking boundaries yeah i love that he went to bed and bumped his head oh wow vinegar and brown no that's brown paper but i think that's jack and jill i was rhyming boundaries with brown and i was like no brown paper what's that he went to no wait it's raining it's pouring the old man is snoring he went to bed and bumped his head and didn't get up until the morning what's vinegar and brown paper

i don't know that's jack and jill yeah but jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water he bumped his head and wrapped it in vinegar no i don't think that's true wait wait jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Something happened. He dropped the pail and went really big. And down he fell. A dramatic reading of Jack and Jill. So, Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack

fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Jack got up and home did trots as fast as he could caper. He went to bed to mend his head with vinegar and brown paper well that's never gonna work and i'll bet you any money jill had to clean up after him jill's running after him sorry jack can i get you anything you're pale she fell down too she came yeah she came after him he said nothing about his her brown paper yeah. He downed the vinegar. He's used all the resources for himself.

I left poor Jill with nothing. Jill set some boundaries. You stupid idiot. There we go. So leave us a review, guys. Even if you're listening on Spotify, go over to Apple. Leave us a five-star review. It takes 30 seconds.

If you understand technology, it takes 30 seconds. Yeah, I would hope you do, guys. It took me a minute to work out. If you don't understand technology, it takes 30 seconds. Yeah, I would hope you... I would hope you do, guys. It took me a minute to work out. If you don't understand technology, you're not going to understand boundaries. That's just it. Yeah, yeah, you're done for. You're absolutely done for.

You're toast. But leave us a review. Share this to your story. We love it. We're getting you... What I love the most is getting a selfie of you guys saying that you're listening to High Priestess.

I die every time. Not a day goes by where you guys don't break my heart genuinely I live in a permanent state of heartbreak it's not going well and that's where we're ending

we should set some boundaries big time thank you guys so so much for listening we're ending on I live in a permanent state of heartbreak

because of you bye right thank you so much guys love you lots bye bye has a new breakfast deal. Mix and match two items of your choice for only $4. Breakfast wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small seasoned potatoes or small hot coffee.

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