Goes Without Saying - change, trauma, & moving on: rip freud u would've loved this ep

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on change, knowing when to move on, childhood trauma and relationship breakdowns, conflict, closure, communication, insomnia, and jamie laing. ��shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Here's a show that we recommend. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world.

The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It goes without saying you're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Sefi. And I'm Wing. This is, I would say, quite a bizarre episode, but also I think there are some really good

bits in it. I feel good coming out on the other side of it, And that's the only thing I've really got to go on I can't remember too much We're talking about change Moving on We're also talking about childhood trauma a little bit We're giving a sneaky little preview Of another big conversation that we want to have

About sort of men Women And relationships Are they doomed? We don't know But mainly this is about change and i think it's good enjoy wow take one take one well take two take five thousand yeah um okay so what's gonna ask yeah what's what's the fear here?

Okay, well, first of all, context. We've just done... Yeah, a few takes. Two takes, but I'm just ill. That's the problem. And I feel really delirious and I feel like I've got nothing to say. Well, I will say... Okay, so just to start.

Yeah. Once again, and I have said this many a time to you today because we've done so many takes. You look handsome in your merchandise. Handsome. Every time you say handsome, what's with handsome? I don't know. I just think it's funny. Why am I getting handsome today?

I love it. Thank you so much. I'm wearing the sweatshirt that has the tarot card on that says high priestess with the iconic goes without saying pink car that has goes without saying spray painted over it iconic iconic iconic iconic iconic and you're wearing vandalizers honestly vandals vandals um which one are you wearing i'm wearing the classic if you don't hear from me assume the worst hoodie marshmallow leave me alone hood up i don't want to be seen nobody perceive me i love the color of this one specifically though with the lime green lime yeah it's so cool we're quite cool i think i agree i agree okay i feel like i'm already hitting my stride in this one yeah it's

just you know what it's just whatever we bring is the episode exactly exactly there's nothing else and how many times i feel like it's this classic thing where like every three four months there'll be some sort of episode where we kind of hit breaking point and then smash through some sort of glass ceiling yeah we kind of get a bit um a bit vandals we get a bit like we've got a new ground yeah yeah yeah can i just give the context so and we're both ill but it's my fault i've made wing ill um never your fault well i'm still so sorry for doing it um i'm ill i've got like like a terrible thing and i think wings now at the beginning a terrible thing whatever this is kind of a sore throat actually my sore

throat is gone it's just like a blocked nose sort of grossness now um but you're on your way into it i think i'm kind of hopefully on my way out i feel fine now but i had a bad night with it which wasn't great that's what i never want to give you because i know how you i know your history with bad nights and i don't want to give you any more no don't be silly i'm always up in the nights what do you do again so like when you're up in the night uh i don't know can't sleep routine hit me okay it depends it depends sometimes i just commit to being like i'm awake rarely though i try not to get what does that look like though that could look like getting up and watching tv

sort of thing yeah moving into the living room like reading sometimes and then i'll normally try and get back to sleep at like half seven for like an hour which is crazy which is crazy um i don't i you know what i've actually i'm thinking at the moment about really taking it quite serious like i want to get a magnesium spray that you spray on your bones we have these that's so random that you bring that up because yesterday i took three magnesium pills and i've never even seen these before i saw them on top of my fridge they're like magnesium vitamins i said take three a day and i was like cool and i haven't taken them since so random that you said that you're feeling dazed and confused also we had we got given a magnesium

spray um and i remember that it was really stingy on the skin and it said if you're deficient on if deficient in magnesium your your skin will sting. And it was stinging us. Well, I saw this girl's beautiful TikTok, obviously, about all these things that she does. I think I just need to lean into the insomnia life and be like, yeah, no, this is a real thing. And like, it's not nice, whatever, blah, blah, blah. I'm actually, oh my God, like I was so much worse previously in previous years i feel like at the moment it will be like two or three times a week oh god that's not nice though it is quite often i guess

but i was thinking about you as i do often in my life i was thinking god your sleep has definitely improved improved a lot because often i will message you in the morning and you'll be like i slept till nine or something like that which that wouldn't be or like whenever like whenever i'm at yours we won't set the alarm to like half eight or nine yeah no i try well especially because i know if i then wake up at like two or three if i then go back to sleep at six i'll be really bummed to wake up like half an hour later yeah yeah but two or three if i then go back to sleep at six i'll be really bummed to wake up like half an hour later yeah yeah but two or three times a week though is worse than i thought i'm not gonna really yeah i thought i've been making good progress well i thought it wasn't two or three times a

night to me is that's quite an issue a week yeah i mean to be up all night for hours yeah from probably like half one maybe 2 a.m what does that mean you're waking up at half one are you going to bed at half one yeah no waking up at half one until oh god pharmacy i hate to diagnose you right now my gp no it isn't good it isn't good it isn't good well this is why i'm trying to do all these things and i do like i'm i take it very serious because also it's the classic thing actually we're talking about in an episode a few episodes ago exactly that feeling all i do is talk or talk blabber all i do is talk do as i say not as i do guys honestly um we're talking about like that feeling

of getting up in the morning before you're ready to get up and like having to shovel down some breakfast that you're not hungry for and like that just that feeling of having to get up in the dark uh uh sickening sickening um and how i don't think as a society like that is obviously such a normalized thing and that that is pretty much what the entire society does every single day um that is just what we all think we kind of should be doing and basically have to do it's what we have to do literally have to do um that is just what we all think we kind of should be doing and basically have to do that's what we have to do we literally have to do but that is so disgusting that we but we're not allowed to say that it's not nice but this is what i mean there's not enough justice let me at least bitch you're not really allowed to come you're not really allowed to complain about it

it seems to just be like well that's what life is but it's horrible and that gives me the same thing of like oh i was up since one but it's like no but that makes you ill it does really make you it's cutting years off my life expectancy i think it's horrible but i am so much better than i was previously i do the things that i can do you know we're working through it i feel like i have a different relationship a relationship to it now like before when I would be up all night, I would be so gutted and like annoyed at myself. And I would feel even like in the night, I would feel the time passing and be like,

you need to sleep, you fucking idiot. You need to sleep, you fucking idiot. Like knowing that it's like, it's getting closer and closer. Like everyone's waking up. You can hear the birds start singing. Exactly. That's a bad fucking feeling. That's horrific, that feeling know if i'm up in the night i'm like surrender having a

bit of a sleepless night yeah that's okay we can work with that and i'll like listen to an audiobook and i'll just have something on the go or like do you know i try and make it a bit nice yeah and i try and really get into the moment of like my boyfriend's here my dog is here like here everyone is in bed it's nice yeah yeah do you meditate in that sort of moment as well uh yes i do but the worst thing is when you're meditating to go to sleep and they kind of close off the meditation by being like night like they kind of think you're asleep yeah yeah and it's like oh i'm still here like now you're going to doze softly to sleep i don't think so i've got two more hours if that's you right now god if you're up in the night right now sending so much love we're spooning we're all in

there together we're snuggling in the bed were three in the bed. Yeah. Absolutely horrible feeling though. Like I. You're not nice. Yeah. And anytime that I've had that, I feel like I go through phases where I'm, I'm basically a good sleeper.

Thank God. I'm actually. Praise the Lord. So grateful for that from your stories of insomnia. Oh, I'm sorry. And they do sound actually harrowing. But whenever I go through the phase.

I'm sorry to burden you with my story of insomnia my journey no no genuinely though i mean 1am being up since 1am to 6am harrowing story it's not nice it's not harrowing's tale it's not nice when it's like oh but i need to leave the house by half eight oh no it's bad it's really really bad yeah i think it's the anxiety that comes with it though because that's i think the thing that would trip me out before where i'd be like you need to be up at this time you're gonna not be able to get ready in time you're gonna be blah blah you're gonna be so tired you're not gonna be able to do your day like i would have anxiety i think it would stress me out more that i knew i was then gonna have a shit day and be tired all day so i think just being in the moment and being like it's okay you're struggling to get to sleep right now today we'll just take

it easy obviously we'll do the things that we have to do and be tired and it will be fine yeah and almost just have just be a bit softer on myself it's all very internal it's all very woo-woo as you know but you have to no you absolutely have to i've got no other choice yeah i'll do what i can yeah do you know who has that um i can't remember what the name was for it but that that like sort of sleep anxiety thing it was like um something about like counting the hours sort of thing but um jack mate jack mate jack mate the british youtuber from 2010 extraordinary i've heard a few stories about jack mate actually but we won't go into them but we won't go into them but i've heard them there's nothing bad it's just some well it's just some just um

tales of a 13 year old with a with an idol could could they be neutral just he was a big character amongst um the girls at my school we didn't know him sure out there okay um but people whatever you say no we truly didn't we truly did not know him um all right and we were just all obsessed with him okay um and i remember listening to him on jack make defense squad honestly i actually i do really rate him what podcast was he on he was on a podcast was it like diary of a ceo or something like that where he was on diary of a c yeah then it must have been on that because why the fuck am i consuming jack make content in this day and age i wouldn't put it past you yeah no since the zoella advent calendar video i haven't heard of him i haven't

missed a beat that was the last i heard of him but now i'm listening to my dino co and this a few years back but he was talking about that feeling of like i think he had it's like an ocd thing almost of like going to sleep and then oh yeah every single hour that passes being like and now it's four hours i'm gonna get now it's three hours now it's two hours and it's just like that is harrowing it's not nice it's really not nice shout out to the single mothers out there yeah always always there's always an undercurrent for the single mothers always um all right so shift of gear shift of gear yeah how are we feeling about change these days i know we've had multiple conversations about it in these previous takes

where did i go wrong last time i started to hate it well okay can i actually say i'll start us off by saying yeah we asked on the instagram for what you wanted to hear from us next and i will read this comment word for word yeah our first first on the to-do list was about social media and perceptions harriet i now speak directly to you that was the vibe that one the other day if you remember that second top was you don't remember that give me more social media i called it like self-image and self-obsession. Yes. Brain rot vibes. Yeah.

This one we're going in with, dealing with the guilt of not living near home slash the struggle of missing family while knowing you're also doing what's right for you. Yeah. Lovely concept. That's a tough one as well. It is a tough one.

And I think generally we're just going to try our best to go into ideas around knowing when it's time to move on knowing when it's you know something the chapter is closing we're getting the itch to pick up and leave find something you know yeah or is greener grass who knows it's always greener grass that i think, I think it's one of the biggest cons. In life. In life. The greener grass con.

The greener grass con. Can we talk about it? It's scam. Such a con. Yeah. It's such a scam. Con artist. The grass.

That grass. That fucking gardener scamming us all. Yeah. And is there a thing? It's like the grass is greener because it's fake. It's like, it's astroturf. It's not real like that grass is greener where you water it the grass what the grass is greener where you alter it i always said where you alter it i was like what sorry where you water it you know it's not catchy it's like you're looking at your neighbor's grass nice because they've been watering right but it's like but your grass could be pretty nice too if you fucking tended to every

once in a while yeah i think that's such a horrible trait actually that we've all kind of um it's kind of the seven year itch oh god i'd never heard of this until you told me about this well i'd never heard of it until another podcast told me about it i can't remember jamie lang it was the man who pissed us on both cheeks four times each sorry to bring him up your ex but honestly no i'm always happy to bring him up okay love we love um no we truly do i kind of i've seen a lot from him on maiden chelsea and i mean i'm here for sophie I'm here for Haps. This idea about the seven year old is like, guys, you know I'm going to butcher it already.

You can kind of guess, but I think it's generally the idea that like men and women get married and then after seven years or like the baby is seven years old now. It's like a seven year old child and they're like kind of not that cute anymore. They're like getting into an awkward phase

and the dad is like, kind of, yeah, I'm done here. I could move on. And have another one i could move somewhere else i could i'm ready to exchange for the younger model oh my god actually shout out to all the newlyweds it's repulsive it's actually a repulsive concept because also i see it a lot well we this is also there's a there's a there's a podcast pending it's in the works it is in the works this is it's desperate it's trying to burst out of the this is a preview of a conversation yet to happen yet to be had yeah but i am desperate to have it because it's something we talk about all the time just kind of like in lots of ways i'll speak for both of us we have picked up a bias

and a learned belief that relationships look a certain way relationships particularly between men and women might look a certain way and it don't look too good and it's not looking too it doesn't look good no and that the grass is dry oh my god the grass is not there's no it's just scorched desert scorched earth it doesn't look good so there's a there's an episode i think more broadly coming up where we're going to speak about that more um but we've had a lot of conversations on the way that we then reaffirm that bias that we have or like that fear of like long term a man will always do me wrong and leave me with a scorched desert while he's he can move on to the greener grass yeah etc and we will sephia and i seek out information and seek out evidence and experiences

from others that continue to like confirms that confirm that bias um and we've had many a conversation on it i actually so many actually and really good conversations off the podcast i think that's why it needs to come up it's on the point it needs an episode yeah it's such a big theme at the moment in our conversation but we're just not we can't seem to because i liked the way it properly it lit something for you that i thought oh i haven't seen that in a while it kind of got you going i wasn't viewing that belief as a bias i was believing it as truth like men yeah will always do that like i don't or not will always the the vast majority of them will do that i don't trust them the evidence that i see in this world is amazing women being fucked over by

asshole mediocre sub-mediocre men like that is what i see yeah everywhere and then you were talking about it as a bias and i was like actually it makes a lot of sense from what i experienced as a young child for me like my first thing of a relationship was a fucking disaster and then i was like that's what men do not literally that's what happens to women yeah they trust men yeah we have to have a bigger conversation we do it's coming guys yeah i hope everyone's getting excited it's a great conversation i know yeah it is we just need to we're holding back here i've got things same same but we tried it in the studio we did but that was and then we thought no it's not right it wasn't right speaking of early relationships and like

early perceptions of relationships and stuff when we were talking about our um almost like our relationship to change and how we feel about um things coming to an end and moving on and things how we feel about that we spoke a bit about our early kind of relationships or like early early life as like kids and how that impacts how we perceive change later on any thoughts yeah wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh canadian dairy it's also refreshingly cheap just 99 cents until july 14th it's a treat for you and your wallet acas powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever.

I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere a cast.com i think that's entirely it how you experience it in those kind of early years

we i kind of think i so i didn't even finish the book attached about attachment styles didn't finish it got the gist i feel like you can get the gist in a summary i don't think you need to read the whole thing honestly it was getting quite repetitive um but i love the concept um that like there are certain people that are like anxiously attached avoidance and there are certain people with like secure attachment styles and i really think it's so relevant in terms of how you react to any kind of change like i would say i think i would have like an anxious attachment style with some elements of avoidant i would say as well um and i know you would say that i had an avoidant you've told me before but i think it's more i think it's more

anxious but i see traits yeah um no judgment here no but i was just interested when you said it because i was like oh my god i wouldn't see that for me um but do you see it a bit after i say it surely i see it in certain in certain elements yeah yeah i do see in certain elements but i just didn't really i was so reading the book as an identifying as anxious and then when you were like i think you're avoiding i was like oh yeah you know and also it's kind of that thing of like oh i think this is the truth and then i'm like i think that's a bias and it's like oh okay okay interesting interesting but that book kind of is just saying that like a lot of like everything is always saying everything is formed like your personality is formed before

the age of two all of this stuff and i think it is there's so much truth in it really like your i wouldn't put two as the cutoff but I would say that so many of my core beliefs were probably cemented by the age of 13 oh my god yeah I think even 13 might be young old old sorry old yeah yeah I it's funny about attachment styles because I remember when we were learning about it in psychology we were all like no that's a load of bollocks and i feel like when you're or maybe when we were younger not me and you but just like in my lived experience yeah when we were younger learning about like psychological theories it always seemed way more um outlandish and like i think when i was younger personally i'd had like an inflated sense of my own autonomy and like this kind of like hyper individualized

perception of where i was coming from where my actions came from where my beliefs came from because i hadn't yet got to like 25 and been like oh no shit it's because your parents divorced and like this happened when you're a kid like that's what i think you gave me though what do you mean i don't mean to cut you off what like a gift a gift though i think i only really realized that in that context when you said about a bias like i kind of think i was thinking like i've observed this like i've observed this and i've come to the conclusion with my informed self of blah blah blah and then when you said it was like no you're kind of down isn't it funny that you think the exact same thing that happened to your mom is gonna happen to you dot dot dot

isn't that a bit weird it's like yeah it's a little bit of a coincidence yeah i just think i viewed it more as like you can see the timeline of your history and you're actually just a tiny bit of it and it's like rather than it's like you have all this information it's like actually you inherited so much so much like you're less individual less autonomous than you think in a lot of ways oh totally it's actually quite like liberating in itself yeah crazy liberating in itself i think and that's why i love that conversation so much because i could feel the gift i was giving you yeah i could feel the ground um shifting slightly of like i mean that might be like a new thought and i do think it's interesting can i give this now or should i save it for that episode no just one little yeah just one little scrap it's nothing guys

because when we get when we have the convo god we can use all of this as the prelude yeah so true just this is the pre-prologue uh-huh so i think what's interesting about when we have that conversation about like how we view relationships how we view change how we view even like men and women in relationships etc etc our experiences are really similar like our formative experiences there are so much similarity there long-term relationship ends whatever between you know we're watching a breakdown of a relationship but my format is really different in that my my if i'm looking at that relationship that i watched of my caregivers i watched a woman make a huge

mistake and really betray a man and move on to greener grass and yeah and fuck up the family from like a woman's perspective and obviously there was so much like guys it's a complex situation but i still wouldn't say it's the woman's fault in that well exactly because there's so much patriarchal it's the woman's fault in that well exactly because there's so much patriarchal mess that goes into that but in the in that relationship i didn't see a man ditching a woman and replacing her for a younger model for example or like i didn't see a man cheating on his wife i saw quite the opposite and i think that difference is interesting because my bias i can feel is very much like long-term relationships are doomed long-term relationships mean misery and life is about being miserable like that's like my deep belief and so then when i'm living a life that doesn't um affirm that belief i find it really hard not to go about my daily life feeling a lot of like

i'm almost skeptical i like i have a lot of skepticism of my life and my relationship and my happiness almost because i'm like this can't be real goes against the early belief totally like this of course it's doomed you idiot like you couldn't possibly have a lovely life and blah blah right so we'll get into it a later date but speaking about change and stuff i think i had a huge fear of change and we were kind of saying in a previous take that i'm sure won't have made it anywhere where we were saying there were some good nuggets that maybe we'll pull scattered amongst the nonsense honestly honestly thin thin thin um smattering breadcrumbs of um goodness a teeny garnish amongst a soup of nothing absolutely awful terrible yeah what we were saying in the previous take was more like i grew up i think in my earlier earlier life i thought

i'd rather at least be in my misery and know that i'm miserable and not change it for anything else like i'd rather just yeah know that i'm i'm not happy here but fuck it whatever at least i know my level to be exactly and almost like it could be i don't want to change it and if i'm at four i could go down to a two change like not wanting to roll the dice totally and it there's a risk and then i think as i got slightly older so from the ages of like between the ages of 10 and 20 i would say there were like huge risks and like huge big life changes that over like within a few years i would say by the age of like 15 i was ready i was like loving change like then 15 16 18, I was like throwing myself into situations

that I had never done before. And I didn't really think twice about it, which I also think is probably also in part, just the luxury of like my youth and my, that like recklessness, just the innate thing of being like, I'm young, fuck it. Like let's just fucking see.

But I think I cemented at an early age, I have real desire for um moving on like i i get itchy i get like itchy and scratchy and i need to move on to something new and when i see something that i need to move on to i it makes me ill i you can't stop me like you need it immediately i need it and i need it now yeah and i'll do it and like nothing can get in my way like i get obsessed with the green grass a new idea yeah you do which is a great thing to have i think oh thanks well i think it is i think yeah it's perfect oh okay thank you you're perfect yeah my dad used to describe that as a bias to action i

think it's like a businessy thing okay because he would say that he was like you have a strong bias to action which is like that you rather than like talk talk talk about a thing want to just like do do do the thing uh-huh like it's like as soon as the idea is there rather than like spinning around a load of bullshit and like maybe we should do this or maybe it's just like right okay we've had the idea let's go why would we not why would we wait why would we wait why would we wait which i do feel like between us there's a good balance because i think i'm more so the one that's like let's hold our horses let's maybe maybe not maybe no we shift it around we do shift it around we actually were talking the other day sometimes like i feel like there are quite caricatures that

you could draw of me and wing of like certain traits stereotypical traits that we both have yes um put us in a box if you will yeah you could you could try and put us in a box and i feel like so many ways are you more of a seffy are you more of a wing yeah exactly but there are so many ways that we shift or like we act in we're not based we're not fucking sex in the city characters no one does the sexy one carries the crazy um kind of artistic one we're not it's not like that like it really shows the nature of human beings that's like there are so many ways that we act in complete opposition like what what was it the other day oh we were in the studio it's even even if our traits or beliefs or behaviors or like thoughts are not the stereotypical

ones that you would put on seppi and put on wing yeah they're always in perfect harmony though like they're always like they balance each other out in the perfect way like we will always we oppose each other really nicely like yeah i think as time goes on i'm getting more and more obsessed with the way that we to have this kind of weird like a weird little dance we do honestly the situation was we were in the studios that we now use was so fucking nice at a cost and i was really nervous walking around the office i was like i feel like we're in everyone's space and you were like why are you by the way the office was. It was a Monday, so no one was in the office. There was probably, there was literally two people upstairs.

Yeah. But I was like, we're in everyone's space. We just need to be quiet, quiet, quiet. And you were like, we can make a tea. We can chill. And we were saying like, it's so funny because I feel like the caricatures of us would be that you would be being like,

we just need to be smaller, smaller. And I would be like, fuck it. Let's do dance or whatever. Let's go. Let's vandalise this place. um but it was completely the opposite and i was just it was just always interesting that you just can't predict how a human will act let me try and explain myself as well i remember us having this conversation ages ago this must this is a recorded conversation that we've had don't know when don't know where

don't know why even but yeah like most of the episodes it's like what why did that happen when was that god knows we were talking about you were like isn't it embarrassing when for example you're living with people and you're just kind of like on your laptop watching youtube videos and someone walks in and you have that guilt of like oh no i should be doing something i should be doing something productive sort of thing it must have been like when i was in london probably yeah yeah because now i watch my youtube videos loud and proud as you should and i remember saying cry me a river i remember being like because i didn't have somewhere to be safe and like live in my own space as a kid then as i get older like even at uni for example it's like you could walk into my room honestly on me doing pretty much

anything and i would just be quite brazen about it like i would just feel i wouldn't bat an eye because i know that it's almost i know what it is to not be allowed to do it so almost like yeah when you it's kind of hard no i do get that but it's like there's just such a luxury it's okay it's like a reclaiming it's it's such a luxury to like be able to play a youtube video out loud in your own house or like yeah no i get that yeah like and i know you know that like it's just like it's it's so weird but i do think like when we like for example running around acos when you were like oh my god we shouldn't be here and i was like woohoo also it's the weird thing about we shouldn't be here it's like everyone knew we were

coming we had a slot book we're kind of invited like it's very much we're allowed to be there but for some reason it's like but keep your voice down don't let them don't let them know we're here i think i put on a bit not put on a show but i'm like we it is more comfortable to me in that environment to be to feel confident in the space because i know we booked a slot and because i know like no one gives a shit yeah so then i'm almost like if i i don't know i don't know why i don't know why but you don't need to. That's the thing. I think I like new environments too.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like I like walking into a room and not knowing anyone and it's like, okay, let's go. Yeah. Stunning. I love that. Yeah. We also haven't spoken about, this is not really relevant to change, but relevant to

just like the yin and the yang. Oh yeah. As everything is. as everything is in this life um our big revelation about our signs oh my god did we have this revelation in a museum in cambridge we had it in the museum we went to the museum the day after the cambridge talk and we're wandering around all the painting trying to brush up our knowledge i was sort of frantically looking for anything of persephone for some reason i was like crumbs honestly but they honestly just don't do her justice like they didn't let me remind you the goddess of the underworld yeah we needed you on a pedestal why is every image of her literally her getting sexually assaulted i can't stand this yeah um we had a revelation and i'm not sure what brought it up as usual uh just talking about a bit of like an earth wind and fire situation we're just talking about the elements yeah i guess and then we were saying how you're really earthy and you

were like but i see fire even though i don't have fire for myself and i was like no you do leo moon right yeah capricorn sun leo moon perfect and i said capricorn sun leo moon guys it's perfect so she's earth and fire right yeah cut to and you are libra sun pisces moon air and water it's actually not i can't believe we hadn't realized that no it's we were called higher priestess yeah we were the most astrology girls and we never put two and two together i'd be like oh sephian wing what are the components that bring that together it's like oh yeah no just a little bit of earth wind it's all of the elements in perfect but i love that it's our sun and our moon like yeah it's perfect it's insane it's not even like we're bringing in our risings like rising though libra libra same oh my god we're so crazy that's fucking that's nuts

it's fucking weird like does anyone else find that a bit weird it is a bit weird we're in perfect harmony i don't yeah it's exactly perfect harmony i don't know whether like because i love the like moment of like that's nuts guys but it's like but that does feel a bit no it does feel nuts and i always think we haven't done it justice like even in the museum we kind of swept it under the rug quite quickly we moved on but i haven't really fathomed we have to take a moment for the fact we literally have earth fire water and air and then both of our risings are the same are you kidding me no we are a perfect balance that's crazy that's why that we do that weird balancing act though i think like whenever you're sad i'm happy whenever i'm sad you'll have like i'm kind of like pre-empting the other and and having the right thing to say

to curb and like the biggest thing that we that i've realized recently every full moon i'm ovulating every full moon moon wing is on her period it's a crazy situation it's a crazy act of balance it's quite cosmic so it's the time sorry about global warming i think that might be us so but yeah it's also one of those things it's like it's completely not mental but i think any experts out there let us know your thoughts on that yeah if you yeah please if you're like an astrology girl but if you're that tarot reader that we saw maybe not you because i didn't really believe what you're saying she messaged me she's been messaging me what but i've been ignoring i haven't opened anything saying like can you do this can you review can you do this yeah can you post this yeah no

yeah i'm offering this can you blah blah i've ignored everything like advertise it yes yeah oh my god yeah and i just haven't opened it she just doesn't know how it works god yeah um okay can i go in no i don't know we have had many tarot readings so it could be up for debate although yeah i do say if you're the tarot readings, so it could be up for debate. Although then I do say the message. If you're the tarot reader listening, it's not you. It might be you. It's not you. The UK public have voted and decided it's not you.

It might be you. Okay. Okay. I think we're coming to some sort of natural close here. It feels like it, yeah. I would like to think so, yeah. It would feel weird close here. It feels like it. Yeah. I would like to think so. Yeah. It would feel weird now to go into talking about change. Again.

Seriously. Jesus. It would feel fucking insane. It would feel like, God, okay, I'm having to climb out of something. Before we go, is there anything we want to get off our chests? Thank you for all the love on the merch. I'm actually worried. Oh, I saw such a weird... This isn't relevant.'t relevant no go on did you see the same thing no please do tell me no i saw two or maybe

i saw two orders on the merch website like on the back end there were two two matching orders where they'd bought like multiple things but but it just said zero pounds. Like everything was zero. And I'm like, you guys hacked us. Like I'm confused. Forgot to mention that. To be honest, if you have managed that, you deserve them.

Good for you. Yeah, you've swindled us. Take the lot, honestly. That's incredible. I love it. You know, the more the merrier. Lime wire it. Honestly. Also, there is one thing with the merch

that's really cool. We're now doing duos. Oh yeah. For Valentine's Day. For the limited. We're now doing duos. Oh, yeah. For Valentine's Day. For the limited edition. Iconic duos, some may say. Iconic duos. So for the Valentine's merch, limited edition, go get it now.

Absolutely iconic. Just for Feb, guys. Three amazing designs. They're on their way out. The what? I said just for Feb. They're on their way out. Okay, okay.

Got it, got it. I was like, what? I don't know what i thought you said but it was panicking um but you can now buy like two like abundant essentially you can get two t-shirt t-shirts with your friends uh-huh you and a friend you wear matching outfits yeah congrats on me i love the you're my love the You're My Crux. Me too. I think that's cute for V-Day. It's so cute. So if you've got different favourites,

if you've got the same favourites, you can all buy, you can get matching things with your friends. So cute. So cute. All right. Cool. If you don't hear from us,

assume the worst. Beautiful. you