Goes Without Saying - Emotional Girls, Angry Women: feminine rage unlocked

Episode Date: June 9, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on frustration and hysteria, miss havisham, the invalidation and over-simplification of little girls and their emotions, ageing, sexual harrassment, and The Schoolgirl. ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay?

So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Goes Without Saying. You're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Wing. And I'm Sefi. This is another episode talking about feminine rage, how it feels to be invalidated and undermined for your perfectly human feelings. A bit of a weird one. We go up and down, as to be expected. It's chaotic. We're just here to keep you company, really. Hope you hope you enjoy oh god all right nice all good yeah good i was just checking nice nice so elephant

in the room's weird is very very ill i'm actually it's not even um i was gonna say up for debate but no one was debating i'm also just meant like it's not even important we can just move straight along what um one thing i will say is anything that i say i just don't want you to listen to me great i just i want to preface this whole thing by being like anything that comes out of my mouth it's the paracetamol talking it's not me but i think we should talk about it like what so i saw you so the bryson summer weird that day wasn't i you were you were fine no you were like i'm just not getting anything from you today yeah yeah i was like you okay yeah and i was like i'm just i think i'm just tired or whatever i was a bit dazed or

something yeah came home literally conked out supposed to go back out and meet you whatever i was a bit dazed or something yeah came home literally conked out supposed to go back out and meet you yeah i was supposed to go to a gym class as well didn't go to that fell asleep and then that was the start and then was that then the next day i was ill and then the next day i was ill or was that just in one day i can't remember no i think it's been yesterday this is like the third day if we're counting that first day yeah so two full days yeah saturday and sunday and today is sunday but friday has even been that long yeah but friday was the day that it kicked in it did yeah friday evening and then saturday morning it was like that was bad yeah you're bad bad bad bad vibes but i just i actually sent sephia a voice note

earlier and i said it would devastate my soul if we didn't get an episode done for today so and I said that's the last thing to add to your pile it's like you're ill and you also have a devastated soul it doesn't sound great which I kind of do at the best of times but I'm really I've definitely been yeah no I'm not yeah no go on I was gonna say I've taken maybe two I definitely accidentally took too much paracetamol the other night oh god but then I decided that I shouldn't say that on the pod but then you asked what intention I said it I know no no accidentally but I did want to take a lot but I took too much well you can only take two there is literally a limit well so I'm taking cold and flu tablets which have got paracetamol in but i also took night nurse liquid and i took quite a hefty dose

of the night nurse liquid yeah that's something you should not mess with i know so everyone just be safe out there genuinely do though that shit's so i thought i'd wake up right as rain but i wasn't right as rain but i wasn't night nurse i was rough as old boots it's the night that rough as old boots rough as old boots not the phrase devastating but okay this isn't going to help you at least not have a devastated soul you'll be mentally fulfilled after this hopefully exactly that's what i mean that's sort of physically exhausted physically absolutely ruined ragged boots or whatever you said. Yeah, rough as old boots. What's the other one I say?

Rough as old boots and rough as... Old leather? Oh, shit. I'm just trying to think of what's rough. What is it? I say like rough as... You say a lot of weird things almost. We'd be like rough as rain and things like that.

Yeah, just kind of like twisted. Anyway, well, how are are you i'm having an absolute whale of a time to be honest oh yeah so it's the start of brighton summer obviously i'm killing the fight no you're not you're not we also we made this huge i i was thinking about the like it's giving me a lot of anxiety i'm not gonna lie well no it shouldn't it shouldn't like it is we've got more than enough time but we know but i just could have done with a head start it's fine though we don't need a head start now we're right on track we made this huge um sort of timetable of our month where we were like we're filming this we're filming this we're filming

this and we have like a huge amount to do like i remember we i was feeling quite overwhelmed when we made it and now when i look back it's so kind of um hubristic it's almost like the titanic is unsinkable like sort of vibe and it's like of course day one illness strikes um oh god it's so gutting it's fine like we we it's fine i had a bit of a gutting moment earlier as well where i heard like aussie started barking and i heard the door went so i was like okay, someone's at the door. Open the door. It's a delivery guy standing there with a Joe and the Juice bag. I was like, oh, my God.

Someone sent me a Joe and the Juice. Like, oh, my God, everyone knows I'm ill. They've sent me a Joe and the Juice. Like, this is the best day ever. Joe and the Juice. I really want this right now because I'm so ill. This is so kind of my secret admirer. And I took the the parcel and he said

code and i looked at it and i just want to think it said danielle and then he said oh actually sorry wrong house and took it back took out my hand hi great took it out of my hands and walked away i was like oh god come back that is devastating you have to order one that joe and the juice beautiful pink bag just like straight from the heavens. We had one the other day, didn't we? Yeah, which was really good. It was really good. Danielle, I hope you're enjoying your Joe and the Juice.

Danielle, fuck you, Danielle. Danielle. Yeah, yeah. Danielle. God, that's gutting. Danielle. Yeah, I know. It was actually really gutting, but whatever.

Well, I hope she enjoyed that. Me too. You should have been like, no, I'm Danielle. I don't have the whatever well I hope she enjoyed that me too you should have been like no I'm done I don't have the code I could have just winged it yeah you could have done like 24 I'm getting a sense of 75 you could do it god it's so sad all right today we're gonna talk about feminine rage yeah we are which i'm surprised you have in you today as a conversation look who knows like i said at the beginning whatever comes out of this mouth i want it in one ear and out the other guys brilliant okay that's but the spotlight's on you today i think okay i'm happy to take it you might need to carry me through i'm having oh yeah i want

to say just quickly about adam buxton my king oh yeah go on just a thing i i did last night that was really fun adam buxton my king they're like no genuinely i need to actually just take a moment for adam buxton and for the five people that know who he is hi for the people that don't i'll tell you right now he's the king and he deserves a gen z audience so i'm bringing him to you now he's a podcaster he has amazing interviews he's kind of to be honest he's what louis theroux wishes he was i'll put it that way he gives the best vibes ever and i went to go see him live at the brighton dome last night and god what are the chances he'd be in brighton the same it was sold out for months as well and

i was trying to get it but last the other day tickets available and i was like adam i'm coming for you i was the only person under the age of 40 there i reckon that's crazy maybe i wasn't but like i was like this guy honestly he just deserves a gen z audience i think so i think i'm sending the girls over to him now adam buxton podcast go for him now go for him guys he just gives great vibes get him while he's hot speaking of shows um i had a bit of a funny moment you know when you're ill and you're just like a bit on the edge yeah and i kind of was crying a little bit earlier not a lot but i'm i am i think the excitement for the eras show is like starting to hit me now oh god the fact that it's real i've definitely had some anxiety thoughts about it yeah i think you

shouldn't be anxious i think you i the more i envision it the more i'm like you're gonna have such a good time i'm really scared for it honestly you shouldn't be scared because i've been scared but now i think i'm realizing that it's just going to be the best okay but i had like an emotional turn earlier because i was watching she's in edinburgh at the moment yeah and did you see we had quite a few messages from people saying i'm going to edinburgh night one yes i saw a few i think that's how i know she was in edinburgh quite crazy that like multiple people in that stadium maybe like three people in the stadium knew of Little Old Seffian Wing that day. That's funny. But I just thought it was cute. I wonder if anyone's going

on the same day as us. There will be. We might see people there which would be so fun. Should we say when we're going? Do we even know? We can't remember the day. I know, yeah. No, I figured it out. It's the 16th of August is our show. 16th of August. Wait, that's so soon. What best day ever yeah i know i'm really

nervous because people that know the seffy to swifty series i am not there yet i'm not there i know but we're getting there we need to do i've got big hitters okay cool because i'm just so scared of you know when you're in a hysteria there's a hysteria around you and you're not in it it becomes very overwhelming and terrifying but when have you ever been in that situation um like at a football game you're looking around like this oh well don't worry about that like these people that's so different i think i need to get swept up within it but think of how easily swept you were in the cinema experience when we went to see the film. I was sort of corolling the troops, if anything.

You really were. It's also so different to be in a football territory with loads of kind of grown men. Yeah. Most terrifying environment of all time. Shouting slurs at each other. That's Wyndham Football Club. Versus being with like teenage girls screaming their nut off you're gonna have the best time but earlier i watched i think she basically for uh one of the surprise songs she

did yesterday she sang a song called the bolter which you don't know and then she went into she went into getaway car and i my boyfriend was watching me and he was like are you crying it was like there was just something about the reaction from the crowd when she went into getaway car that like really kind of got me yeah and i think it's made it like really real that you're going we're going i just i just can't wait i'm really excited i was actually last night you would be really proud of this was after i got back from adam markston i was clearly in a bit of a mood of like right okay let me look at some things yeah i went on taylor swift genius and i was looking at the lyrics of is there a song called the smallest man who ever lived

is that's what the song is called that one yeah and i was just going through it like i wasn't listening to i was just reading the lyrics like a poem and i was like this is great why were you doing i just i think i must have seen it and i was like oh let me actually like go into this a bit more it's a bit weird yeah that's the sort of thing I'd get up to in my room okay and I liked it it was a great song yeah I love that well this is from Tortured Poets and I'm keying

in specifically on stuff I think the anthology is the superior half of the of that album and so we'll be going through some songs from that so Tortured Po poets is a double album yeah we together listened to like the first six or something yeah if you remember that and is that and what's anthology and the anthology is the second half so is that is that a different album no so what's the first half called then it's just the tortured poets department and then the

tortured poets department the anthology got it got it but there's a lot of arandesna stuff on the anthology yes i always think is the best yeah oh that's why i started looking at that song because someone said the arandesna some of the arandesna i don't really know what and then i went down a rabbit hole and i thought okay i've got it i'm just making a all roads lead i'm just making a bit of an effort to learn a bit more of the law about this because i want to be able to be immersed because i feel like what you will be stepping into a spectacle and i want to be it's kind of when i went to go see kingdom of the planet of the apes it's like i need to watch every other planet of the apes before i sit down in this

cinema with taylor swift it's like i need to know things about this girl before I watch this. Yes, and you do. But I also think the show is going to be so big and moving. Yeah. That physically you will have no choice but to be moved with it. I'm excited. Also, you're such a kind of you're such a hysterical woman. But you're such an enthusiastic person anyway you are so naturally kind of giddy and peppy and like 110 about everything yeah you're just not the kind of

person you get a lot from like most things like something would have to be pre-underwhelming yeah for you to come away and be like so true like you are already 110 there and i think it's gonna really take you over yeah god that made me feel really excited of like god i hope i hope to be swept up in the waves of it all basically you will be you will be you have no choice but but yeah fun okay cool okay yeah so anyway back to the feminine rage which i'm i'm gonna say again i'm surprised you have it in you today like i was like why don't we do sort of frustration your plan's not working that feels like more your vibe same shit do you know yes we're doing feminine rage feminine rage we've had this lined up for a while also someone specifically

said to us can you talk about it again and kind of the idea of like being um like belittled or undermined when you are reacting to something or just feeling a certain thing links and taylor swift i think massively most things do it turns out most things do well what about you when was the time that you were um have you felt undermined recently no but i've been thinking recently so i have moved to brighton you guys know this more specifically i have moved to hove if you know hove oh yeah which is kind of the town right sort of attached um yeah and i was looking through hinge as as you do when you move to a new place maybe and i saw a ghost from my past i saw somebody on there that i mean i might just say the whole fucking thing actually i've hinted about it

before on the podcast i saw a guy that i worked with that was so patronizing to me and i was not in a place where i kind of i did kind of stand up to myself for myself but not as much as I should have he basically I spoke about this before called me into the garden I was a waitress and said I get the feeling that you're quite intimidated by me and I did hold my ground like I didn't sort of go red or anything I was like no I'm not really intimidated by you it was just a really weird moment and it was a real power power dynamic between this guy and me but I didn't sort of really crush him which I wish I did yeah I didn't have the power to because I needed the job and I wanted and also the gift of hindsight exactly exactly but I do still have um seeing his face did trigger a desire to crush within me

just to think god I whole god, your face angers me actually. To think that you spoke to me like that. Like, how dare you? How fucking dare you, mate? Yeah. And it genuinely triggered that feminine rage of like, oh my God. Like the amount of times that just like, you haven't been able to speak up for yourself in the way that you would now or or just all the ways actually that it just goes con like constantly

like it doesn't there's not a point that you sort of tick over that's like now I will not be spoken over and now I will not be um belittled it's like no as a woman you probably will be belittled for the rest of your life and there's only so much power you can have in those dynamics especially when you're coming in with the dynamic of like they are like there's a hierarchy within a workplace or blah blah blah um but jesus christ like now i i'm seeking revenge are you well actively no but i want to but i think i will i think he'll get his come up in the mind obviously karma is doing its thing from what i can see from the small profile that i saw but also i do think look hove's a small place i'm gonna bump into this guy and let's see what happens you've been warned mate would you say something um i think it would be more my lack

of words that would speak volumes i think he would go seffy seffy hi and i'll go excuse me who are you who are you what who are you not that i run through that conversation all the time but who the fuck are you who the fuck are you or i have some alternative plans but i won't get into them did we ever acknowledge that that was like a near miss maybe we can't say that um no let's go into it he does not he if he listens to this look mate how fucking dare you speak to me like that you're a fucking weirdo why are you clicking on podcasts say feminine rage probably like loser i've got nothing better to do and also just stay away from all women please but this was a bit of a near miss

it was because also i think what kind of hit oh do i want to say all of this just to be clear what i mean by near miss is what was previously potentially sexual tension became just pure hatred tension yeah there we go that's all that needs to be said there yeah fair enough cunt oh. Oh my God. Oh God. So yeah, there's real anger here. I'm actually joking. But like, I do feel like, I don't actually have like a level of hatred towards him,

but I also feel like I do, I really do have the desire to sort of- To punish. Well, kind of like- To make things right. Just to remind someone that just because they can, like just because there's like a young waitress there and you can do that and you're the boss you don't have to do that you really don't have to do that he also was it just gave a bit of an ego trip i think i think look i think he was

just yeah freak i'll say it again something smallest man who ever lived i would say so yeah uh when have you felt feminine rage um wait hang on i was gonna say something to you okay you look so sad then oh no i am so sad oh shit i don't know yeah maybe you could just keep going on uh well yeah i can go and go this bloody guy no i'm joking why don't you just keep going i think there are so many cases of feminine rage though and they are so frustrating like I mean constantly I think like on I mean every single time I'm cackled it brings like a level of like I think when you're walking down the street and you're not aware of your own objectification for once you're walking down and you're not thinking about your body and the way that men view you and you get reminded by a man in a van or a group of

guys or whatever it's just like oh thanks for fucking reminding me of my place here like it is really really infuriating and to be honest really upsetting yeah i always i always as well think like the most i don't know what that stat is but like the highest um kind of proportion of cat calling basically the younger women are as in um if you're in a school uniform basically you're more likely to get cat called and stuff like that i mean that is just so wild yeah isn't it though and it's like this is just like really as well when you're kind of 14, 15. You know how it's like, okay, if you want a kid to learn a language, start teaching them young. We're such sponges when we're little.

They're just going to absorb everything. They're just so much better at adapting and picking things up and learning. Blah, blah, blah. When you're like 11, 12, 13, you're a sponge and you're adapting and you're learning and you're taking everything in and you're so primed and ready to absorb whatever the world is giving you and if a portion of what the world is giving you is catcalling or like sexual harassment on the streets when you're in your school uniform which in the uk obviously school uniforms are really common what is that

telling you about the rest of your life and who you are on this planet it's terrifying like it's really it's fucking mad it's just scary as a culture to get to the point that it's like school uniforms should be synonymous with kind of um one education to keeping people young people safe like it sort of should be like an honored like protective that you sort of a group of school girls walk past and you think like i don't know you should be thinking positive thoughts about them but it's so scary that it's like a school uniform is actually synonymous with like hen do's sexy sort of well the difference between googling uh school boy versus school girl google school tell me what

comes up on google images see what freaking comes it's gonna be a little britney spears tied around the waist little outfit it's insane it's horrific actually it's insane yeah i think though as well like oh i don't maybe a more like accessible even form of like undermined just kind of feminine rage whatever blah blah blah i'm sorry guys bear with me no no you're doing so well even oh thank you so much thank you i think it just hits harder when it's like people you know or like you're in a conversation with like someone that you love or just one of your peers or yeah like for example someone that you work with like the visceral emotional response that that draws out versus like being cackled on the street is one thing it's like okay i'm annoyed for us

in society it's like this is speaking to like a global issue this is like a universal law that i'm annoyed about but looking into the eyes of a man that you like and knowing that they're not seeing you and not hearing you is like a deeper level of hurt i think yeah i think that's why it hurts when it's family members a lot and i feel like when we ask the question on the story which i guess will be next week's no next on thursday yeah we'll discuss this i guess but i feel like what might come up a lot is people being like when my dad doesn't understand me um like my uncle at the fucking christmas table whatever like trying to explain to someone why something is different for you for them and they're not understanding it and trying to sort

of get that into their fucking thick skulls sometimes is so frustrating that and it actually makes it jarring it's like wait you don't actually see the world the same as me and i feel like that is it's not even a rage that i feel at that it's like i'm instantly crying like instantly when i'm trying to describe to or if i say if i hear like a male family member that i love talking about like women in a certain way it's like god it actually like i feel it in my stomach like it's the most upsetting thing rather than like blood boiling right acas powers the world's best podcasts.

Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever.

I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere a cast.com it's so um the thing as well of like a few episodes a few episodes ago i was saying like how there's often like um there's

often a lot of praise given when like a child or like a young girl or whatever takes a lot of shit and like doesn't complain yeah and i think that really feeds into the idea of like being really hurt or being really frustrated feeling really devastated by like what somebody you love is saying to you or how someone you love is treating you. And not having the physically not being allowed to express how you feel. Yeah. Or able to. It's like I can't even put it into words why that just hit me. Because it's like it's sometimes not even about that specific sentence that they said about whatever it's actually like no that connects to a larger feeling that i can't express but every woman here gets but you cannot get because you've never experienced it and you just

seem unwilling to understand it or even think of it and i can't even put it into words and i feel like that's the bit that is so frustrating when you can't even really articulate it. I feel like that's kind of the thing as well with them. I'm not going to say his name, but the unspoken hove man earlier. The idea that like the hindsight is everything. It's like at the moment, at that time, you knew that it pissed you off and you knew it didn't sit right with you. But as the time goes on and the days pass and the months pass and the years pass it becomes more and more clear that it's just one

more example of men being a bit shit totally like at the time it feels like okay that was like a shitty day at work and like oh i had this silly little run-in and it was this and it was this and it was this and as the kind of details wear away you're just left with like the bones of the situation which is just some man being a dick yeah and also the idea that like even if you can't put it into words you're not allowed to even show any sign of emotion over it because that will only be used against you it's just really freaking annoying it's really bizarre actually oh god sorry no don't no no not sorry that just sounds horrible i am sorry i really hope it's

gone tomorrow for you or like it gets a bit better tomorrow i think tomorrow will be a bit better the fact that i'm doing this is like massive improvements when i heard your voice note you sent the other day yesterday it must have been when i heard your voice i was like christ this is not good it was being possessed by the devil it was a call from the other side and then today when you sent a voice now i was like yeah i can hear there is uh like a 60 improvement and oh wow well like in your voice i don't know how you feel but like that sounded like i feel so bad but it's fine what i don't like is almost not feeling the i don't feel like i'm in my body oh i feel like i'm asleep do you know what i mean like it's like i'm really it's taking a lot for me to like hold on to what we're talking about here

it's taking a lot for me to like hold on to what we're talking about here anyway what shall we no no no no no okay let's keep going can we actually talk about this slightly different note and i know we talk about it a lot this is kind of um in the like dating sense the kind of cool girl unbothered girl vibe i feel like the emphasis placed on like specifically young women to be like really chilled and unbothered um in essence basically like just take loads of shit and let people get away with treating you like shit um it's an intriguing concept hey it's one of the ways which i see women hand over their power so early on like it's almost like say you're a few days in with someone and that conversation comes up or like even to be honest if you're um if you're using one of our favorite sponsors we've ever had who've already previously mentioned Hinge

if you're using that you can I think we even said this in our advert with them you can put like what you're looking for in the little thing which I don't know whether is cringe or not but some people do like looking for a short-term yeah I find so confusing or figuring out my dating girl things like that figuring out my dating it's so weird it's such weird language but like I guess it's good that it's there but yeah I think it's like when people tell you so i think what people what i've seen girls do a lot and yeah i just have is almost like ignore the so the guy is saying they want something casual and i feel like people i've seen people trick themselves into thinking yeah i think i will go for something casual and then i'll sort of make them like me enough that then they'll sort of inevitably inevitably it'll turn into something serious after a few months like we've been sort of

dating i'll get what i want like he said he doesn't want anything serious but like i don't either brackets i really do but it will turn into something i think cut the crap if you want something serious i think there's a real cognitive dissonance with a lot of women between the like i'm so empowered and strong and i don't need a man and also really wanting that i think the culture that we're in demands this like independence over women and if you're not feeling that you're not feeling it you don't owe anyone this sort of like strong independent thing i'm not saying you should then be with a guy go and fucking jump into bed with a guy and get in a fucking five-year relationship but i'm saying be honest with yourself about what you want i think there's

a real um lack of like um honesty yeah honesty with like what people actually want and what they say they want but also at the same time in the same way oh fuck me no no this is really fucking annoying it's not just take your time i mean i'm hardly um it's killing me no it is it is you're good no no i mean i already kind of disagree with what you know it's always just fluid um fuck my life no no fuck fuck oh my god it's like someone is pulling the blinds down on all my thoughts and i can't get to them it's like i'm running to the doors trying to get in on what my thoughts are and they're slamming the doors in front of me it's like please let me into my brain fuck i was just gonna say a tiny little thing i was just gonna say that um someone when you said blah blah blah and i was gonna say and

also wanting um a serious relationship isn't the absence of being strong and independent goes without saying like all of these things are working in perfect harmony some may say and also this is really killing me sorry no it's fine do you get what i mean i like i've never had this feeling but i have let me in let me in the doors but the doors are closing oh god it is giving maze runner you're running through the maze that you're the guy you're dylan o'brien squeezing through the maze and the doors are i mean that's fun um i also think it's like not even just about whether you want a serious relationship or you're figuring out your dating goals or like whatever it is i think people

have the um idea that they need to have the identity of like cool or unbothered almost not even that they can't be honest about what they want but like they also can't stand up for themselves or they can't say hey why didn't you reply to me or like that's i think one of the crucial blah i think that's a big way you can stand up for yourself in those early stages actually totally but i think it's not just about being like um what do you want are you looking for a short-term serious relationship are you looking for a long-term short distance whatever depends on the person yeah but i also think the cool girl narrative feeds into everything it feeds into like how these girls are sitting in the classroom and not putting their hand up and like learning to

be quiet and not participate actively in their own lives it's like you're taught from a really early age that you are not an active participant in your own life you are like kind of unwilling observer you just sit there and you just take it yeah and you lie back and think of england and it's so fucked up but it's like the fact that women are seen as sort of life is just sort of what happens to you and you have to be chosen by someone whereas men get to be like the active participants and also to be honest if we're talking about dating they get to have more fun because the anxiety is just not drilled into them from that early age like there's a really famous scene in sex in the city that i think has been resurfacing

and it's all the girls in the toilet the squad and miranda is saying the girl squad honestly the squad and miranda is saying women have their lights on like you have your they're like cabs or whatever they're like taxi cabs in new york city the yellow famous taxis of the city the women they have i'm not gonna do that women have their lights on since birth they're always looking whereas men get to a certain age and it's like oh my light is on now and then suddenly they are willing to like be in a relationship and do the thing which obviously is a thought from the 90s and is obsolete in so many ways but also i think it's still very much in the messaging in terms of like women from so young from so so young are looking for, or like the societal messaging is, I remember being fucking 12 and people being like, so anyone special?

It's like, I'm fucking 12. I'm literally watching Scooby-Doo all day. Like, what are you talking about? Anyone special? Whereas boys get to run around in the muddy fields whatever and actually have fun and i think that translates up until literally the day we die that men are allowed to experience so much more it's the same it's fucking slut shaming shit all over again of like men obviously sleep with a load of women they're a player women sleep with a load of men sluts it's the same thing it's taylor swift it's the same it's she's coming back she is coming back she's coming

back with a venture she never left she never left slut shaming you guys talking about me honestly but it's it really it manifests in every single way work like the way we live like the all the decisions we make come down to the fact that women are supposed to have like unfun sacrificial lives where they just like give and give and give whereas men are allowed to just take and take and take and still get praised for it whereas women will still get sort of um demeaned for giving everything so i'm for me personally trying to reset the balance a little bit here and rid myself of the anxiety of like i need to do any of this stuff it's like fuck no i actually don't i'm only here to enjoy my life

and make decisions that i want to make yeah and even with the concept of aging like the idea that a woman is like a baby undermined you're so young you little girl you don't know what you're talking about you're too young you're too young you're too young yeah and then you blink and you're too old you're too old you're too old old hag miss havisham at like 28 i reckon it's like oh my god how would i go from being a baby i was too young i was a child i was like almost nothing i had to say was valid in your eyes because i was just this little girl yeah and then the next day i woke up and i was too old too old too old and too ugly and put out to pasture it's awful a woman is never the right age because the problem isn't with her age the

problem is with the fact that you are a woman yeah exactly it's never right you're never gonna hit the right timing it's all filtered through what's right for men it's like okay you're too young to fuck you're too young to fuck and then all of a sudden no you're too old to fuck you it's like what what about let's take fuck out of it let's take your opinions out of this i just am who i fucking am like that is actually and also i wouldn't fuck you in a fucking heartbeat mate truly didn't really make sense, that sentence. I wouldn't fuck you in a fucking heartbeat mate. Heartbeat mate. Huh? But I mean it.

So true. I mean it as well. I mean it. Underline. Oh, God, I'm sorry, guys. Well, don't be. I am, though, but I'm glad we're doing something. It's definitely something.

You get what you're given. I'm not cooking anything else else so eat your fucking dinner that was really the attitude for me as a kid same big time like it's like if you're not eating that there's nothing else so oh my god i remember going to my friend's house once and i'm from a house it was a single parent household with like three three kids so it was always just like yeah shoved a plate of grub literally like slop shoved in front of you eat that yeah um and i remember going to my friend's house who was an only child with like both her parents there and i remember them being like what do you want for dinner tonight and she was like oh i want this

and then they'd be like oh yeah and what do you want poppy and it's like that's crazy the fuck that's metal quality it was like and i remember restaurant what's on the menu and i remember well i think they maybe gave a few options of like do you want like a pizza this they probably made an effort because i remember like i chose um a baked potato of course you did and i was raving about it i went home like oh my god i had like a cheesy baked potato i had a baked potato i remember it was so fluffy she i think what she did is she must have like microwaved it before or something like she got it so fluffed up and like buttered it all up and then crisped it oh yeah and i was like oh my god this baked potato i got to choose what i wanted and i had a baked potato and it was just everything me and oh you know what i can't even bother to go

there go on i can't really be bothered do you know what i mean i'm gonna i'm gonna say something i regret about my childhood dinners it's like no you know what fuck it let's just leave that childhood dinners are crazy though well it is really interesting it is yeah and also like the the ideas that you have about the food that you're eating versus the food that you see like other kids totally and also the food you see your parents eating it's like why do you get a nicer meal later no but this is what i was gonna say is i would eat the same as my parents i need the same as my mum then my dad when he was there would come home and then cook like a really delightful meal and it's like oh really yeah my dinner would be like there would be one meal and we would all be eating it the

same thing and also like this is what i was gonna say but i decided against it but here i am spilling the beans no it's nothing Give us a little treat. I was just going to start speaking. I was just going to start spilling the beans on my childhood dinners. Like, I would never in a million... I was not... I used to be really jealous of, like, English kids eating English dinners. Kind of a chicken nugget tea.

Chicken nuggets, pizza. Would you call it tea? I still call it tea. Like, what am I going to have for tea? That's wild. Yeah, like, maybe I wouldn't. call it tea i still call it tea like what am i gonna have for tea that's why y'all yeah i like maybe i wouldn't if i was like if i was with my sister i'd say like what we having for tea but like if i was with you i'd say like what you have for dinner it just depends yeah exactly you're not gonna embarrass yourself like that yeah but i would say like oh what's the tea not that anyone's

cooking me tea anymore but i'd say what's yeah what are we having for tea and you would never say dinner like for example my friend jemma when i'm at home like we'll often go for like a walk or a run in the evening and i'll be like oh what are you having for tea for tea it's crazy yeah and she'll be like oh my mom's doing like tacos or whatever she always has a really good tease yeah that sounds good tease so would you say that really good tease no maybe i'd say she has really good dinners but i would say what are you having for tea all right would you want to come for tea come for tea all right tiger what's that that's crazy this is how my brain is working that's such a good joke from you all right tiger that's an

amazing joke is it yeah it's for me it hit me because it took a moment i like things that make you have to think of mental clicks of something right in the back of your head the tiger who came sorry did you say that's such a good joke for you from you to say uh right i think there's a from all i mean from you god you're the funniest person i know all right just checking just checking i was gonna say i'm not in the mindset to handle a beating like that that's a good joke from you i was like uh jesus good coming from you terrible jokes i was like i was heavy i've tried my best god no well that's not what i mean obviously yeah basically i would have like hummus for dinner every night yeah i was gonna say yeah i would have like um pita and rice and lamb and hummus every night and like and i would never ever be allowed like pizza or something like pizza would be a tree

and it would devastate me darling rice we were always dull yeah that's delicious that would be like a twice a meat quite twice but i used to be like why can i never have pasta oh my god you went like you didn't have pasta not really not like a tomato pasta no oh my god i would have like kind of like a baked oh it's hard to explain a pasta bake oh no not a pasta bake i never had because that was quite like that's a tea to me what do you mean like almost the difference between a dinner like now a dinner is like like a tea to me is like peas chicken nuggets mashed potato a tea that's a tea like almost there's a childlike element yeah that's a tea whereas like a dinner or like a pasta bake fits within the tea category pizza is a tea as well but like a dinner is like um yeah something absolutely delicious like a rice

and sort of yummy nice thing it's funny what you um as a kid i was just really like jealous of everyone else's dinners weirdo did you used to have like school lunches or did you do like um lunch boxes i think i did lunch boxes for the most part what about you yeah lunch boxes but just in the way that you're saying you used to be jealous of everyone I used to be really jealous of everyone's as well and everyone else used to be jealous of each other so we used to switch them quite a lot like my friend Sophie would get crisps penguin biscuits yummy stuff whereas I would have like yeah kind of like a bit of macaroni cheese and stuff dinner yeah exactly leftover tea yeah

and then my friend emily would have like she had these cakes which i would always say were rank they were like apple and i would be like they look like they got chicken in which was quite a weird thing and once i was so offended that my friend sophie wanted to switch with one of their chicken cakes and not it was just me being actually quite a bitch quite mean what is that though it was like an apple actually quite a bitch quite mean what is that though it was like an apple cake and i was like why would you want to switch with that what like a pie like a little kind of brownie apple pie no like a homemade cake and i'd be like those look horrible it was homemade that's so mean i know that's fucking out of order

jesus i wonder if she remembers the scary little child aren't you what a rude thing to say like they look like they've got scary little child popping tell me you've never seen chicken without telling me like it's like i obviously i didn't know what chicken oh god yikes rude girl oh god yeah a little bit yeah very anyway those crisps oh all right anyway yeah we done that's yeah anything else just for the feminine rage no when you're getting onto the chicken cakes you know you're sort of i'm a bit nervous to listen back to this but it'll be fine oh no don't you want me to edit it no why don't i i want to do it well i'm happy to do it please please don't devastate myself

i would never devastate yourself but but more so i'm just a bit nervous to hear the qual of the i think it's good i think shit i'm gonna be talking when you're when you're in this state state there is a thing that you almost need to sort of like i always do this and i always have to trust your mind because it's like you have to just know that your brain is looking for evil shit right now okay like your brain isn't to be trusted you'll hear things it's the hateful ear you'll hear it all wrong okay if you're and you just need to trust me that it's like you were great in this well i trust that it's just like yeah that's an episode where you sound quite ill yeah you do but that's fine yeah all right fine you are real well like i said guys there's nothing else in the oven so what do you want exactly you go to bed hungry god that's devastating worst feeling in the world going to bed hungry it's horrible i actually

hate that feeling of being like well now that i'm ill i keep waking up so ravenously hungry i was gonna i was gonna ask you i wasn't really gonna do this on the pod because it's so boring but i was gonna say how's your appetite it's fine to be honest my I wasn't really going to do this on the pod because it's so boring, but I was going to say how's your average life? It's fine, to be honest. My boyfriend's been really keeping me fed and water, which has been really nice. So I've been having like essentially a full English every morning, which is crazy. I was wondering because are you in the sort of the worst kind of ill where you're not hungry or are you in ravenous? I've been getting a bit nauseous.

Like, and I suppose I'm not in ravenous i've been getting a bit nauseous like and i i suppose i'm not in ravenous it's just when i wake up it's like my stomach is i think where i've been like coughing or something in the night it's like my stomach feels really empty but then i then i eat like kind of um i've been having like sausages and beans and i actually had a horror moment this is i'm sorry i'm really going on oh my god i think i know what you're gonna say i had a scary moment where i was like wait you didn't use nana's beans did you but he didn't he didn't oh but basically you guys might have seen on our instagram which by the way thank you for following sephie and wing on instagram we when we met nana she so kindly hashtag gifted us oh my god it was the personalized beans and these beans are gonna see me through until the apocalypse i'm keeping hold of these

in my room so no one would actually eat them pride of place in the you know my dining table then i've got like normally like i have like a bunch of flowers and like candles in the center of the thing they're right there yeah on my bookshelf pride of place i was like if i leave these in my kitchen whilst i come to brighton they'll be gone by the time i get back it's a scary thought i can't have but then i can't be chomping on wings beans because my mum was like you've got to keep them forever because i showed her these are amazing she goes without saying i'm so impressed by them nana i must say and then that's pretty cute and then i was like she was she was like you can't ever eat them and i was like well what would be quite cool is to eat them

obviously yum and then keep the tin and then wash out the tin and use it as like a flower pot oh that's a really nice idea but then i don't know how you you'd have to like sand down the top a little bit or something but it'd be really cool to have like a beans tin seffy's beans as like a flower pot. So I was thinking maybe doing that with them. Beans, it's funny, isn't it? Because I also do obviously want to eat the beans. Yeah, well, that was my thought this morning. It's kind of like vegetarian eating the chicken cake or something.

It's like, wait, what's in this? These aren't wings beans, are they? Anyway, right. Bye. Bye, right. If you don't hear from us Assume the worst This is me

I can do it Can you do it? Mmhmm Okay cool I can do it You've got this I've got this