Goes Without Saying - feeling behind: your 20s being 'old' is girl math

Episode Date: October 5, 2023

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Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It goes without saying you're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Sefi. And I'm Wing. And this episode is all about the pandemic skip, which is a word you may not have heard in a few years. The pandemic? What's that? The pandemic? Do you remember that time? Oh, the pandemic. We were playing Animal Crossing and watching Tiger King. These are relics from the past. There was an article from The Cut that was talking about the way that we feel that we've

missed out on like the best years of our lives. this episode is a really good one if you want to feel quite validated it feels like a big old hug and just to not stress we're all in the same boat in some ways and it's all good we're here for you so enjoy stunning right should we start yeah hey hi how's it going it's going good i'm excited are you are you lying no i am quite excited because i'm sitting at a desk not the floor which feels quite nice oh yeah you've been promoted yeah i'm i rearranged my whole room and now i'm at a desk i usually sit on the floor like a little gremlin and now i'm on a desk like a grandma i've got my corner office yeah yeah you really have you made a funny joke earlier you said you rediscovered the life-changing magic of tidying up i did i did the same thing that i did um a couple months ago where i tidied my room but i i'd been away

i've just come back from lisbon i got back two days ago and it was a 10-day holiday which was very very nice I think my favorite holiday of the year so far stunning and there's a lot of competition and I just got back and I was like unpacking and stuff and I was like oh should I do that thing again where I like deep clean my room and stuff and I ended up moving my bookcase around that's behind me now setting up a desk for my garage that fun fact this desk is my great great aunt's desk is a whole kitchen table um and it's just quite fun really fun god now it's almost a bit of like god my ancestors hate me i'm um recording a podcast on her old kitchen table they would love it what a good what a joke they would love it they would love it they should be proud they should be so proud they should be so

proud they don't know what it's just like goes without saying yeah as it should that i how i have to explain to my grandma it's like it's kind of a radio show it's the classic to my great great aunt right now it's kind of a radio show radio yeah but worse but also kind of like better yeah but also how are you yeah how are you i'm good i'm really aware that we've done the classic sephian wing move of like talking routine actually hours at this point about like really sad current affairs like really sad things um which we're not gonna get into but no no so you know it's gonna but we're gonna be happy actually there's gonna be what did you say like you know it's all good there's gonna be death you're gonna be happy about it you're gonna suffer but you're gonna be happy about it i had a really good one i had a really good one that i wanted to prank wing with

in the intro but it was so good that i couldn't even hold it in let's do an impression of what i was gonna do now goes without saying you're listening to goes without saying with sephie and wing i'm sephie and i'm wing are you really which is such a niche one but i knew you'd get it that's why i couldn't do it on the podcast i couldn't do it for an intro one of my favorite things is when people say they were watching it and they're like not that familiar with them and then when they watch it they're like oh my god sophie and wing say that and it's like that is really bad crazy yeah it's not even bad it's just almost like god i'm so sorry that we've ruined perfect films for you i actually was watching them with my little sister when i was in portugal i showed her a few years ago she watched

philosopher stone it absolutely did her rocked her mind it did her head in her mind she was terrified the weird bit that terrified her is um the bit with the unicorn blood i think that bit is scary it's really scary but almost like there are scarier moments let's talk about the head on the back of a head as being the scariest moment surely i think the scariest moment of philosopher's stone is when he's in the woods and he's gone by the unicorn blood and the cloak is coming towards him i think oh my god that's really spooky because it's like in the dark and the soundscaping is all going on turban being unraveled and it's let me speak to him oh really i mean that is scary that is really really scary yeah it's scary it's what

does he say he's like give me the stone oh my god it's so scary it's so good after she watched that i showed her a photo of the basilisk i was like this is the scariest thing in that movie you've been soft launching the villains the basilisk yeah i think that's the scariest thing you've got to face in that movie if you've seen that head on the back of the head you've seen it all well i forgot about aragog because it doesn't actually scare me then it was coming up i thought we might have to skip this scene friend of hagrid it's not goodbye friend of hagrid it's not very nice it's not very can we go can we panic and yeah she she told me just before that when you saw the spiders scuttling in the why couldn't we follow the butterflies um she told me that she

was scared of spiders i was like okay you might not like what you're about all of this yeah it's like quite a big one coming up i don't think you're gonna like the second act much yeah yeah it's not great but then after that she was like can we watch the next one i scanned my mind for scary moments and i thought you know what if you can handle chamber and philosophers you can handle prisoner easy easy because what's even scary about that a werewolf uh i would say the dementors would be the scary oh yeah dementors i did i showed her the scene on the train beforehand i said if you can handle this you can handle it where it all goes cold and she was so interested in who Lupin was who can blame her

I mean she's already loving loving the key characters she's like who's that it's like Professor R.J. Lupin it says it on his case it's on his suitcase Ronald and she was loving that

very cute but now she now so I'm slowly converting the youths of the world doing the devil's work yeah anyway god sorry quite an interesting conversation we're

gonna have today it's a bit different actually from the curious mind of sethi no no it's not actually oh it's actually not yeah that's from the curious minds of something i saw on tiktok well it was from an article called the cards but i actually saw it on tiktok where most people see most things a wonderful bazaar of yeah feasts an emporium of stimuli absolutely marvelous place sights to behold what's the thing i was gonna say what's the phrase round up round up, round up. But one thing, what is it? Roll up. Yeah. It's kind of like, roll up, roll up, get your depressing short form content. Get something that's

going to send you into an anxious spiral here. Yeah. I was browsing the wares of TikTok and I saw a podcast of two girls, one of the girls.

It's called Shameless. It's an Australian podcast. I've actually never listened to it, but this made me really want to listen to it. And they, I think they're a bit older than us. podcast of two girls but it was it's called shameless it's an australian podcast i've actually never listened to it but this made me really want to listen to it and they i think they're a bit older than us i like the vibe he's giving me older sisters which is kind of the vibe that people say it's nice love it a bit rude but i'll take it yeah it's like i'll stab in the heart thanks for that i'll take it yeah and they were talking about a thing called the pandemic skip which lovely straight well i was like that rings a

bell i've been a pandemic that hurt me somewhere yeah you're speaking to me skipped and it's kind of the concept that we all went into the pandemic at a certain age and then we came out of it in a totally new era that was almost like oh wait like i went in in my early 20s i've come out in my late 20s like that does feel strange yeah and like there's always been a bit of me that doesn't really like the sort of discourse around like we lost these years I lost my best years to it because it's like we were still alive we were still breathing like we're lucky to be here but I also think that's really true that it was it did feel like a skip it felt like a fast forward and they were talking about the idea that you go in potentially in your late in your late 20s like if we now went entered into

a pandemic now yeah we'd be coming out in our early 30s or 30s we'd be coming out maybe our 30th birthday yeah hooray bring out the cake yeah hip hip hooray hip hip hooray she's a jolly good fellow um which i don't know does anyone sing that easy peasy pudding and pie and i just think wow okay like maybe that there has got some merit to it like it is kind of a weird thing that we all feel like we've been through and all the comments were kind of arguing about i went in in my 14 i was 14 and i've come out and i'm 17 like i went which that's crazy i went in when i was 23 and now i've come out it's'm 17 like i went which that's crazy i went in when i was 23 and now i've come out it's a bit of maths i don't know 27 i don't know then there was a comment saying like i don't think there's any age that's good enough that's like a good way to go in like

missing that years of your life is weird at any point but i do also think missing crucial like young years of your life does fuck with you quite severely totally i think as well like i agree with you kind of i think the instinct whenever a lot of pandemic conversations come up i think the instinct for a lot of people is to be like i can't be bothered to talk about that yes like we did that it's like yeah like that was shit like like oh like oh i can't be bothered it's just bored it was kind of so consuming for so long that i think the kind of like i think the kind of societal response to that has been like a complete rejection of like a lot of people don't want to talk about it rewriting yeah we just played animal crossing it was perfect i just can't be bothered to speak about it it's like i to be honest i haven't made sense of it enough to like yeah talk about it properly and

it just feels like it was so much for so long that i think we're all a bit like oh i'm done with that however i think that kind of instinct to like not unpack or like not even want to acknowledge what the fuck just happened what's happened it does kind of perpetuate that cycle that we get ourselves into of like not being able to face our anxieties and like not being able to de-stigmatize like mental health issues and all of these things that like really a lot of people struggle with it kind of encourages us to like brush it under the rug it's like oh that thing that we all went through let's just brush that under the rug yeah that never happened so i think it's important to speak about even if we don't have proper sense of it definitely

do you speak about it in your life like i actually feel like in so many ways i just completely like it doesn't come up does it really no and if it does come up we'll be like oh you know that thing crazy and we try and just you just don't go into it that much personally just because i think there's a few things we haven't made sense of it so it's like what do we say i think it was a really divisive time for a lot of people there were a lot of crazy opinions flying out of nowhere out of people's assholes we were actually loving the other day that ethan on h3 said that we're living in a post-fact world and it feels very much like you know we're living in a post-fact world so covid is like you know you don't want to bring up covid around that kind of auntie or like that other person from your town whatever yeah and i also think it leans into the thing of everyone

had such a different experience and there's so much like nuance to it that i'm sure there were great days for a lot of people and really shit days for a lot of people and and both happening at the same time that it almost it's too big it's too complex to even dig into it's kind of why i don't like talking about taylor swift because it's like it's just too big for me to do it justice maybe it's there's an element of like it's also just too boring like it was over discussed i think so yeah because no one had anything to do other than kind of analyze and like tweet their thoughts on it and like talk about what was going on like it it's one of those things i feel like i've seen more media about the pandemic at that time than i've seen about

anything else it's almost like god i can't hear the word again exactly i think it was just so consuming i can't do it that then coming to the other side of it people are like i'm done being consumed by that and i would like to think about some other things yeah yeah but then i do have i don't know the whole thing of like we missed no i think i've already said that actually well i agree with you i'm i'll carry that on yeah i'll take that i'll carry that um carry that pass me the baton the beacon the baton of course the baton um i feel like oh wait actually sorry i just have a really funny little thing oh yeah once i was on a date with a guy and i had an umbrella in my bag and it started raining at the end i got it out and he said oh i thought that was a baton and it's like oh my god you told me that before it's like thank god you said that i

could say it's actually an umbrella why would you think it would be a baton a baton i have never seen a baton what does a baton look like 15 years what is that no it's like an umbrella didn't know what an umbrella looked like weird to see something in someone's bag and think instead of thinking that's an umbrella you think you know what that is i think it might be a baton here i am on another date with another girl with a baton predictable what get a new gag jesus christ she's not like other girls anyway sorry go on um yeah the idea of like we've lost time i think there's so much to be said i think we've barely scratched the surface because i agree with you i think there's a huge part of that that's like no don't tell me i've lost time

because who's to say about it oh yeah sure i don't want to think about it but also i think it's a reminder of in every moment that you get in life as much as you can try and keep a grip on like living intentionally because yeah you missed out on maybe conventional milestones but if you were living in a way that feels aligned with you at that time and you were finding new ways to grow and new ways to experience things and you gave yourself like a sense of contentment and also acceptance for not living um a kind of conventional 22 year old life for example how mad can we be looking back you haven't necessarily lost time you've just lived it in a different way yeah and that doesn't different doesn't always inherently mean worse however i think it doesn't

also feed in this case it does yeah i think it's giving yourself the room to be like accepting of yourself and not attacking yourself and being really disappointed in yourself of like oh you know why have i like now i'm 27 and i don't have like a stable income and a stable job blah blah it's like well you know you're you spent three years of that yeah kind of probably in and out of different workplaces in a pandemic like that you were living a different life and i think it's also another good reminder to think critically about like the kind of prescribed routes of life that we're given about like okay these are your milestones these are the things that you need to do this is what a 22 year old for example does make sure you do those check check check check

okay yep success move on now you can level up to 20 being 23 years old it's just not how it works and i think it's a nice reminder of like life looks different for everyone and as long as you're happy with the way that you're living as much as possible and giving yourself room to be like okay like i could have done better last week like i was being a bit mean to myself or like i was getting in loops of things that i don't like doing that's not how i want to spend my time blah blah fine but i think it's not another opportunity to like make yourself feel worse about where you're at like give yourself a break maybe maybe also there are also there are loads of ways that you can lose time in this life like i mean how many years was the pandemic are we gonna like i know i would say three years so let's say like started in early 2020 and let's say like by like march let's say spring

well in the uk it was springtime 2020 yeah i would say by springtime 2023 i don't know when it was announced that the pandemic was officially over but has it ever been announced yeah it was announced like an answerable thing yeah they said we're not we're not officially in a pandemic let's give it a three-year marker as an arbitrary marking um let me just sorry i'm just checking when the pandemic or may 5th they declared an end to the pandemic so it was just over three years in the uk let's say okay so if we say three years there are so many ways that you can lose three years that don't involve a pandemic like it's funny that we picked up on that one because it is obviously such a sorry i'm dripping dropping

crystals everywhere that's all right we need them we need them i need them good energy keep them near me um there are so many ways like if you look at this is a horrendous stat but like because it's also made up i don't know the numbers but i see things often that's like you in your lifetime will spend seven years on Instagram you will um spend this amount I remember seeing a thing when I was really young and this was before Instagram before anything and it said the average kind of computer person the average person in life that has a computer will spend I think it was like nine months of their life troubleshooting their computer will spend i think it was like nine months of their life troubleshooting their computer something something like there were all these things that i now that

was definitely an advert for like apple or something yeah it's always anti anti troubleshooting exactly yeah but they had a list of all these things that you're gonna like end up doing and this was before computers i mean computer even now is like an obsolete thing before the idea of smartphone apple watches fucking tiktok instagram apps social media all of this shit and now it's like i wonder how much of our lives like if you look at your screen time so say it's like what four hours a day you spend looking down at this thing let's add that up some mathematician please add this up for me i'm sure they've been working on it it's gonna be end up being years i'm sure by the end of our lives it will end up being

far over three years so it's like let's maybe as much as it's horrendous to be locked in your house we also create like weird jails for ourselves around ourselves around this life like how many years you'll spend hating yourself yeah how many years will you spend um working somewhere you hate or how many years will you spend in a relationship with someone that treats you badly like how many years will we do things that are the equivalent of like wasting our lives they're also like learning opportunities which in loads of ways the pandemic ended up being for people where it's like you can really become quite like internal in this like bad situation and all of this stuff but i think it's it's quite an easy measurement because it like has the thing of like it has a beginning date and an end date but i wonder in what ways we like waste so much of our

lives in like less measurable things because they happen in small moments like an hour there two hours there and things like that that's why i think the pandemic massively changed the way that a lot of people view their work and even now like the conversation of like oh you're a key worker go and risk your life during a pandemic you're getting paid potentially minimum wage and then post pandemic you can strike and you can appeal for a better wage but we're not clapping our hands outside on a thursday anymore and we're not shaking pots and pans you're back to being dismissed and it's really unavoidable at this point like people i think it's striking actually exactly yeah i think people the mask has slipped of capitalism and like all of the you could just see what that was all about now you can really see that the whole kind

of celebration of in england there was like a huge celebration rightly fucking so of the nhs at that time the people that are like getting paid nothing and having to like actually deal with this um like head on and there was a whole thing yeah where you'd stand outside your house and you'd clap them at was it like four o'clock or something in the afternoon? I feel like it was like 8pm on a Thursday night. Maybe, yeah. I don't know, time was nothing to me then. That was my only plan.

I've got no idea. For six weeks. I've got no idea. I had nothing better on. You were in bed. But I was in bed all day those times. Good, great times. But yeah, there was like a huge celebration that would happen.

It was like, everyone go outside and you were going to were gonna like yeah bang pots and pans around and stuff and it's like it was so striking that that was being used by like politicians as a way of like it basically in the uk if you align yourself as a politician with the nhs the nhs is kind of like the god of england it's kind of the deity of like everyone agrees that the nhs is a good thing so so many politicians like align themselves with the nhs as like a sort of cover-up for their bad shit and now it's so obvious that it's like oh so it was so fucking cheap for you to clap and sort of be like we're not gonna pay them but like they're on the front lines this weird term that started getting used um but it's like well now that it's over hello like there were so many jokes as well at the time like i know loads of people who work for the nhs and i remember like everyone just

being like oh when we go to tesco can i pay with your pots and pans please or like can we pay in class can we play in your applause that you got last night like it's horrendous it is horrendous that you got last night. It's horrendous. It is horrendous. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature.

I've got a gay rooster named Francois. It is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson, and this is A Field Guide to Gay Animals.

A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer, and we are a part. Find A Field Guide to Gay Animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

ACAST.com I think as well, like, there's a lot. We asked on the story about, about like your thoughts on this and the pandemic skip and all of this the huge conversation around it the overwhelming response surprise surprise was this general feeling of a sense that you're not living up to what's expected of you like you're suddenly kind of you've come out of this cocoon into this new expectation that you can't live up to. Yeah. And almost just how women's lives are, I would say most people's lives, but I think women feel it harder because women are always supposed to be kind of on top of things. But there are sort of weird chapters of like, you're a teenage girl, you're early 20s, you're mid 20s, you're late 20s, you're 30s.

And that's when it's like, right, okay, the the fucking there's a clock that starts ticking at that time and i'm not even talking about the biological clock i'm literally talking about like a social weird clock so i think women feel it really hard when it's like wait but i didn't have any of the fun and now you want me to start kind of like settling down and all this weird sort of language that's like but i never got to settle up i never got to live like yeah i've been in my bed how do you want me to become more domestic than that yeah and even just beyond like the settling down like even like what's expected of you like in work and all of these things it's like there hasn't been time to conventionally explore who you are outside yeah there's been like years where you

really haven't been allowed to go outside yeah which is undeniably major and i think the response being let's get on with life then and kind of just move on and just resume to some level of like normality that's what we can now post-pandemic is natural but i think it then leaves a lot of people with this like feeling of uneasiness or like a lack of connection or like they don't have necessarily a good identity like with who they are without kind of some of the previous milestones that they had when they were like in school or at uni or their job before the pandemic like suddenly everything's been stripped away from you and it's changed and there are new things that are expected of you all of a sudden it's like hang on seth henry told me the pandemic only ended in may yeah so like give

me a sec we just got my feet yeah like i just got here also the whole idea of like it's time to get on with life i think there was a big understanding during the pandemic yeah what life was isn't necessarily the most sustainable isn't the most fun isn't the most like making the most of your one life sort of thing that you have and is actually not um not tailored for you in any way like we are very much viewed as like almost at worker bees and stuff yeah just like produce produce produce for like these big fucking elon musk assholes and i think um so much has changed in terms of that like with all the working from home stuff like most people i know that were going in every day now do like at least two days from home every yeah so much has changed with that but also i think the idea of like oh just get on with your life i think i'm gonna bring

it back to women again i think for women the idea of what your life is supposed to look like isn't that good yeah it's incredibly narrow what it's supposed to look like and i think for men as well there are so many things you're sold that are shit but i think for women the pressure that they feel to be like hitting those milestones whilst at the same time being like but i never got to travel anywhere i never got to um date someone a bit weird and different or i never got to kind of go to all the parties i was supposed to go to or go clubbing or like go and see music and all of the stuff that young people do i basically sat at home and i watched um tv and i learned how to crochet and i did all the

fun stuff that i love like it all that stuff is stunning. But it's also stuff that is not necessarily associated with youth. And you can do these things throughout your life. And you probably will because they're amazing hobbies to learn. I really want to learn piano. Like should have done that in the fucking pandemic. Like you could, you can do these things forever. But there are certain things that are only associated with like being appropriate for you. For young people.

And it's a real shame that we got to miss out on them so i think it's a real chance now i don't know to be like wait i'm gonna do them before i do want those things yeah when you do want to like i don't know have kids or buy a house or any of the things that are associated with being older you probably won't want to do those things and then you will feel like you've missed out on something so i think it's a real opportunity now whilst you're just feeling the social pressure but no pressure within yourself to actually go and do the things you want to do it's kind of like we were saying earlier about how like for the first time actually i don't think we didn't say this explicitly but it was going unsaid between us i'm assuming i don't know if you saw this but it was like for the first time the

like general consensus was that women over the age of 30 over half of them don't have children so it was like 51 or something and it's been like rising considerably like over the years obviously but it's not a surprise that then post pandemic people are looking to kind of reclaim their time and reclaim their lives because there is a sense of like losing ownership and control over your own life but then also like talking about like the things that are typically um kind of like i'm really brain dead at the moment i don't know if that's an offensive term but like i really can't get my words out and like no you're getting you're i'm getting it all across like

you i'm getting it loud and clear okay good let the bells ring let the bells ring um i just i need to read a fucking dictionary or something it's like all my like i think i'm losing my mind i was like what are you doing i'm reading the dictionary it's like oh god oh wow oh god um right yeah kind of what you were saying about like youth is kind of the time when like we're told certain things about what we need to be doing but it's also then on the other side there'll be loads of people who maybe are the kind of person who genuinely would have no interest in for example clubbing and would rather well exactly sit at home and play animal crossing but that's the thing those things are important and amazing and that's why i kind of said do the things that you want to do like it's not do the things that i might the last thing i'm ever trying

to do is add more social pressure to someone no well now you shouldn't you should one be doing why were you crocheting when you should have been out no no no no no that that's why i was like do the things that before the you have the social pressure but before you have the pressure within yourself whilst you what did i say just rewind a bit i said something along those lines but what do you mean by that before you've got the pressure in yourself what to do other things i mean it's like if you so right now there is pressure for for example a 30 year old to be doing certain things to be hitting a certain um mark in work to be settling down whatever that means their friends are getting married whatever all of this stuff there is a social pressure for those things

if you don't feel you probably will start to feel a desire or no not probably maybe you may start to feel a desire in your life to do those things to get a thing get a certain promotion to have a kid whatever you might start to feel that but almost like before you feel that within yourself make sure you do you should go and have some fun rather than just following like the social script of like i'm feeling the social pressure so i should go and do yeah i'm gonna like keep working do other things when actually you have the thing in your mind of like oh i should probably yeah i do want to go to um berlin i really would like to go to berlin like well then when you have kids it's going to be harder so let's almost like the social pressure can just fuck off for a second if you can get there it's just almost like that is not that is

not the driver here the driver is what i want to do and i think that is so important when we're talking about for example like losing time it's really tuning into like what you actually want to do and not being not just doing what you're being told to do definitely because that's the thing is like the social script is for a 22 year old to go to berlin for example yeah and that's not necessarily right for every 22 year old yeah and i think that is kind of the crux is that if you're living intentionally and like you're going to give yourself grace and room for error but also know that you're like making an effort every day within reason to like live in alignment with your goals and your actual wants and just

kind of be quite unapologetic with like your plans and your dreams and your feelings and your desires and things that you find meaningful and fun to you if you feel strongly enough about that and live in that vein the pandemic can't it can take your loved ones from you but it can't take your sense of self it can take literally everything from you but it can't take your sense of self it can take literally everything from you but it can't take your sense of self it can take your sense of smell but it can't take can take your sense of taste even worse yeah it can take a lot from you actually that was nice pandemic app who knew in big old 2023 um i think it's i think to close yeah okay the vibe is if you're having an identity crisis join the club to the club yeah yeah and like that's okay and it kind of makes sense for like

someone who's been through what you've been through to maybe be feeling like a little bit shaky every now and then maybe i like the term um pandemic skip when i heard it i knew instantly what it was it's like okay yes i know that i've been through that i know that everyone's been through it and the fact that there's a term for it means that you're not alone in it like yeah everyone you might feel like oh i lost the worst years oh i lost my early 20s i lost my late 20s but i was going through the comments and honestly everyone seemed to think that they had the worst like combination of numbers and you've all sent us like you've been through some shit yeah you've had some shit times yeah for sure i think as well it comes with the validation of like we had the nice clean name

you're going through a pandemic it's like oh god we all really feel like okay we're going through something if something's happening and like it's all we can talk about but it's um it's completely consuming but it's at least validated whereas there is no term for post pandemic apart from post pandemic and it's when the cart come out with pandemic skip it's like oh thanks for making me feel like it's okay to feel like a little bit annoyed or like a little bit anxious totally because also at the time there was a huge amount of like sort of discourse about like oh be kind to yourself check in on your loved ones oh i love that take it time there was a huge amount of like sort of discourse about like oh be kind to yourself check in on your loved ones oh i love that take it easy there was all of this kind of

language all of a sudden and it was like where's this where's that now like and then now for example i was to say to you i'm feeling a bit weird post pandemic you would say okay let's time to move on well i would say no you wouldn't but if you go into a meeting and say i'm just recovering like you know i'm just processing i don't know if you noticed but like we were in a pandemic you get laughed out of town you're it's not going to go down too well but it's true it is really nice to um have a moment just like you know that just to validate almost like that was weird and it's still kind of weird yeah and processing just like age yeah on top of that and especially what age means to women on top of that yeah

is a confusing uh place to be for sure agreed but we can do it oh if anyone's got it guys we've got it we've got it if if you don't hear from us, assume the worst.