Goes Without Saying - first-world manifesting: your universe missed the brief

Episode Date: June 7, 2021

is it manifesting or is it privilege? in this ep of Goes Without Saying, join us (sephy & wing) as we discuss manifesting, spirituality, and how we can ~actually~ get what we want. from the gentrification of spiritual practices, to the emphasis on capitalist success and individualism, we're questioning whether manifestation is really as productive as it sounds. we're ditching the desperate energy and relinquishing control. nobody's coming harry (...or are they). join the conversation every monday. speak your mind on the @sephyandwing instagram! you’re invited to our discord group chat: https://discord.gg/zuPH7gyeGp Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It goes without saying that you are listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Sefi and I'm with the amazing Wing. Here I am, ready for service. And today we're talking about manifesting, which I mean, I'm really excited for this conversation because I love a bit of like spookster talk, but also kind of how to get what you want, if that's even possible to get what you want. Is manifesting bullshit and just this whole thing that's rooted in privilege? We're talking about hot girl summer being that girl romanticizing your life there's a whole load of convo in this

and i just can't wait to get into it really let's get into it okay how do we begin i feel like long time no see even though i've seen you actually technically more than ever i know it feels bizarre we were just saying we have like a weird energy today the live is still like ringing in our heads we've had one day in between but i think during that day we've just been so self-indulgent and kind of i don't know kind of i've watched the reel too many times i like feel sick just is in my head i think we start this by saying like thank you to everyone who came to the live thank you to everyone listening just like we're very there's a lot of thanks going on so thanksgiving day today yeah it is thanksgiving it was so good like i'm so shocked at how well that went

don't because i can't even get into it i'm honestly grinning my nut off i was so scared about the wind i was when the drummers started drumming 12 drums are drumming whatever started coming in i thought oh god we're done for we're fucked but it went so smoothly it did yeah it went perfectly and we had the best old time and now you're right back where I like you miles away yeah exactly so today we're talking about manifesting and like the whole lifestyle goals that girl discourse vibe which I don't know in a way I feel closer to it than ever but I also feel really far from that topic right now what about you yeah I don't know in a way I feel closer to it than ever but I also feel really far from that topic right now what about you yeah I don't feel close to it that's for sure we sometimes

say the veil feels quite thin right now and things like that like spooky things like that but I feel like the veil the the veil if there is one feels quite thick at the moment like I can't kind of break through to the spiritual side of life at the moment is that what you feel though it's spiritual well i yeah i think manifesting has like an undeniable it's like woo woo vibes almost if you don't see it as spiritual what do you see it as well i guess the two sides of it being one side being yeah the spiritual stuff that's just been completely like gentrified yeah actual real like spiritual thing and then the other part of it being like like things are being manifested like things coming to fruition like opportunities arising as in creating action yeah actions happening yes which i yeah i love that side to be honest both sides of it

if we're gonna start from like the cynical side kind of the spiritual side yeah whitewashed gentrified side and then the action side is kind of like a capitalist like individualist side so both are kind of a bit bleak yeah if you look at it kind of in that bleak lens but also both still stunning yeah oh my god the most stunning yeah that was the kind of the vibe so obviously we ask on the story so follow us on instagram if you would like to at sephian wing and there was a real divide between people being like yeah it's just capitalist yeah it's like you know it was literally 50 50 i wrote so actually i'll read this point someone just put it really nicely and they said it looks like the new version of the american dream it's capitalism disguised in spirituality

i like that yeah and i just thought that was a great old like um phrasing in the same it's a great old point but everyone was making that point but i just think it is true it is kind of um there was people a lot of people talking about like the focus on like wealth and like yeah quote unquote success and that's what i think is silly that it's like you're turning something that is supposed to be if it's supposed to be this kind of universal power that like brings you essentially gifts or matches your energy with whatever the energy you align with if that's the thing it's like why then are there people writing down like i want four thousand pounds and the universe gives you four thousand pounds like no if there's some kind of thing god

simulation whatever do you think they deal in like the currency of like money and like i want a boyfriend oh i'll give you a boy god deals in great british pounds yeah i don't think so he's converting what's five god pounds to five british pounds it's just like yeah it's it's quite simplistic that bit i think that bit is the bit that i'm like kind of you watch a youtube channel of like manifest a youtube video of like manifesting a million pounds in five days and it's like kind of David Dobrik doing a bit it's like this is just bleak like yeah this is turning something that I don't know is supposed to make you feel okay in your life or feel happy or something into like how can I monetize manifesting it's like that is a bit um it's just like I guess not what it was intended for how do you think your

relationship to manifesting has changed since like the first time you heard that word to now like how do you think it's different now oh well I think when I first heard it I was all over it I think I probably first heard it with you to be honest right I think we got quite like spooky back in the day and I think I heard it and i was like what is this thing because do you remember we watched the secret together well i'd already seen it yeah yeah yeah you already knew it i think when i first watched the secret i thought what is this you were terrified i thought this is fucking nuts like this seems to be honest and it is oh boy is it i don't it looks kind of has a weird like lord of the rings aesthetic like they're spinning it's a weird y2k yeah it's so strange it's gross it looks very gross it's sepia

toned well it looks like kind of they made the film and then they covered it in like coffee stains till i make it look old yeah they were like they're tea staining they're like trying to make a secret map yeah the great leaders in the world have always known about a secret where is it where is it where is it wow pull out the wonder band impression honestly ronda bern in the building i love my echo whisper that was so like impromptu i thought that was really good it's kind of harry i now speak directly to you have one hour one hour yeah and pivarti whatever is like screaming screaming her nuts off she's terrified but that was kind of me watching the secret i thought what the fuck is this what is this well you're thinking oh no i've only been thinking of kind of desperation and doom for the past like 20 years fuck now i've now that's what's

in store but i think the secret gave me a vibe of desperation and doom absolutely which to be honest is is an easy vibe to default to it is kind of the default energy for most people is desperation and do and do yeah sudden death honestly sudden death um well i want to ask you what's your relationship with manifesting because i feel like you maybe heard about it a bit early. I don't know. I think I did hear about it early. But then I think I think I was really into manifesting when I was like 17, 18, which makes you even more. Yeah. Or just back then, it's like all those years ago. I'm so old now. But like all those years ago, I was much more ready to accept what everyone told me about spirituality rather than find my own beliefs

yeah because also i'd always i'd been not raised quite spiritual but i was introduced to spirituality as a whole really really young like like as like a kind of a little baby so i definitely would just take everyone's word for it then when you see fucking ronda byrne be like and this guy he cured his cancer with manifest oh my god i'm so fucked like i've really been thinking of doom and now i'm gonna bring doom you know and it is that like it is a horrific message to be sending people of um yeah all of your suffering is is your own fault so actually let me give this point if you don't know who nana florence is you definitely do it's like who the fuck are you If you don't know who Naina Florence is, you definitely do. It's like, who the fuck are you

if you don't know who she is? Yeah, you're sleeping under a rock or living under a rock. You've been sleeping under a rock. It's kind of your Jesus Christ ready for a good Friday. Ready to be reborn. Everyone came in with really good points

and then Naina came in, sorry, stumped on everyone's points. It's like, she's the only one I'm going'm gonna mention now sorry for everyone who had good things to say only the queen matters but nana said that she hates the idea that everyone is just a manifestation away from overcoming class and race and gender yeah and i just thought let's end the pod there what a fucking bar fucking hell so good but isn't that true it's it's true it sells you the narrative of like your mindset is what's what is it's yeah it's all your fucking fault it's that if you have anything that hinders you in any way societally it's like oh well you can overcome that by positive

thinking it's like that is so damaging and if you haven't yet it's because you're lazy and you're fucking miserable and you don't deserve it and you deserve misery it's really fucked actually it is fucked well i feel like that's why that's what kind of where i am now with my relationship to manifesting is kind of like i even came to this episode being like i don't know what the fuck to say honestly like with everyone saying like it's just it's kind of just like yeah let's leave it at that on one side it could be really nice and on one side it's really fucked up anyway like most things in the world yeah i know someone said um like if it's good it's good like it's when it stops being good that it's bad like but you know if you just take it as a harmless thing then it's harmless which i totally agree with but it's kind of like yeah heroin is a

harmless thing we just take it as a bit of fun then it's just a bit of fun and it's harmless i don't know everything can be like yeah if we don't take anything seriously then nothing is serious and but that doesn't do you know what i mean doesn't make it okay i was actually speaking to someone quite recently who the fuck are you speaking to i'm gonna be so vague there's somebody in my life um and there's somebody that i was speaking to someone about this person so this person has had kind of i don't know i would say like a long struggling life i would say just kind of it's grueling it's a grueling life bowls of brown a grueling life they're just they're like a white straight woman but they are acting like the world is like attacking them at every level okay so actually not really a grueling life maybe and but they're

like rich kind of really wealthy yeah no the struggle is completely internal but they perceive that the struggle is completely external they perceive the struggle is real yeah they honestly they perceive that the struggle is real but the struggle is completely completely to be honest a mental health issue rather than like the weight of the world is like attacking a situational issue yeah yeah exactly and throughout this person's life they have kind of refused to like get any kind of therapy or anything like that just kind of they perceive that they have tried therapy because they're like oh but i like sort of crystals and like a shamanic ritual under the full moon and i've got a a special herb that i will smoke very new agey um on the summer solstice and that will

cure me and it's like this isn't what you should be going for and i was saying to the person i was speaking to about this it's like i don't know if you've thought about all of this shit that you're doing but maybe it's not working but it's almost like they are like well i've been trying everything and it's like no i do think kind of manifesting and quote-unquote spirituality and all of these like crystal-y like pleasurable things they are not um on level with real medical help it's like no what is needed here right now is like kind of a therapist antidepressants i don't know i'm not a fucking medical professional but maybe go to a doctor rather than oh i'm gonna manifest my way out of this and i think that is the problem with this like discourse essentially that it's like it's seen as um the answer but i do think it can be used as a fun cherry on top but absolutely absolutely a shamanic ceremony is not going to do shit when you're clinically depressed yeah that's

the thing is i think it i think it is the answer for loads of people but it's just the classic case of like there isn't a one-size one size fits all really to anything in life. Cause humans don't work like that. It's kind of fuck Brandy Melville. There is no one size fits all for anything. It's like, yeah, that would work.

That could work. That could be fine. But it's like, yeah, if you're pushing on to like, I don't know how old this person is, but they're like in their sixties. I'll keep it vague for you.

Yeah. Fucking hell. I'll be specific for you um but it's it's almost just painful though because it's like you're viewing something that I mean yeah I loved I would love to believe that a crystal can change your life or that if you put a letter under your pillow that describes all the traits of the dream man that you want under your pillow with a rose quartz and on a full moon you burn it and it's they're going to come into your life i love that shit but also i don't think that when you're presenting it as 100 truth like this is going to happen if you do it um and it's just about your mindset if it doesn't happen then it's just you weren't wanting it much wanting it enough i think that is so damaging for people that kind of are looking for answers like desperately. Yeah, I agree. When we first started this ye olde podcast all those years ago, we were kind of saying earlier that all the hot takes that were once hot takes were kind of what we were saying.

I don't know even when that was. What was that like a year and a half ago? Yeah, yeah, maybe. I don't know. I don't know what day it is, let alone what month it is. I think roughly even two years ago no it was about two years ago jesus which is wild because think of the time of year that we're in but anyway about two years ago we were having the conversations of like manifesting it's just privilege and self-care it's just privilege we're going on and on and on and they were hot takes at the time there was a meme that that was like, is it manifesting or is it just privilege? We're like, this is great.

But that was two years ago. Yeah. So it is kind of like, what have we got to say in this episode? Because I do in a way feel like I don't know where I stand right now with it. Because I love the whole, I do love when my lifestyle fits into

what is sold as like self-care and manifest and all of those things i love it obviously you would wouldn't you the dreamy the dreamy life yeah i do feel better like emotionally but i don't know then what so then what i come to a podcast and i say yeah if you drink loads of water and you wake up and you do exercise and you do your mindfulness and you do your journaling and you meditate and all of these things like what then that yeah makes you feel better does it it's like yeah i guess that is what i'm saying which i don't want to say because also i don't really believe it i also think it's really wanky but it's also the thing of it makes you feel better or it makes kind of you specifically as

wing feel better but it doesn't solve all your problems like i think it doesn't but it does but it does make you make it easier to deal with your problems doesn't it makes you more competent when and it makes you more aware of like is this a problem or is this just something in my mind it does kind of take away the problems if you're creating problems in your own mind which i think loads of us do it does kind of solve those problems bad news or is it good news i don't know it just there's something that's so wanky about it drink water something so wanky but I also think maybe that's because our generation has a bit of a individuality complex yeah and we don't like to feel like the things that we are coming up with and pushing online have been you

know they're just regurgitated from the trends of 20 30 years ago and it is just kind of the same new agey stuff it is just American dream stuff it is just diet culture being that girl you know these aren't we're not coming up with new things which I think generationally we don't like to think we like to think that we've cracked the code and that we've kind of figured out with you know I've got a new this is a new lifestyle like the older generations they just don't get it like they don't meditate blah blah it's blah. It's like, no, but these are all the same. Like what the Instagrammers are feeding you, what the YouTubers are feeding you

and what the podcasters are feeding you, I hate to say, is something that has just been regurgitated. It's not a new thought. It's mindfulness isn't a new concept. It's changing. And it's like a massive discourse right now, but it's not new.

It's because it feels new and branded in the kind of like Western world in that way that it feels new because it's got the new face of Andy from Headspace and he's got an app and it feels new in that way because it's more accessible to us. Yeah. It's kind of almost that sort of Gen Z, not arrogance, because I feel like, yeah, but I feel like it's an arrogance. I've got it too, that it's that kind of, oh, well, my parents they all fucked it they all did it wrong look at the state of it look at capitalism look at the world they've created we're gonna do it we're gonna do it differently because we we know but it's like actually the balance is just swinging back and forth as in it's like you

just change the name almost if this like anti-capitalist thing is coming up now it's like well that was just the 60s and then the 70s 80s 90s early 2000s was swinging the other way and now it's kind of hopefully swinging some other way but it's also not it's also not no it's getting more and more capitalist yeah it's literally it's literally people like us it's girls being like yeah communism like fuck capitalism meanwhile like fucking grinding so hard like it's all about your aesthetic it's all about the lifestyle being like i just need to get a sponsor yeah yeah literally it is so wanky and and it is kind of um it's not new which is why i think the manifesting and the whole like that girl narrative and even like hot girl summer it's it's a nice idea it's the romanticizing your life thing it's a nice idea and then the critique of it is okay

but it's classist and it's reductive and it's like white supremacist values and all of these things but then we still perform it and we still just go along with it as every generation has done previously just play your role yeah yeah well i think it's when when wealth as in like monetary wealth is still looked at as the pinnacle of success it does strip it back to just the american dream it's the same old thing of everyone just wants what okay we'll go back to kind of mice and men we're we're um curly's wife again but it's like okay so i want my i'll work hard in my youth so that i can have a nice sort of piece of land that i can retire on with my family with my children with my animals

that's my life that's the american dream you come from nothing to something um through work and it's like that is still essentially what we are um pursuing labor will set you free yeah well that's kind of horrific because that's the fucking nazi yeah really horrific what references are we dropping today bad ones we're just creating um a little bit of the sign in auschwitz but it is still that it's if you work hard you will get a comfortable pension and then you will be able to live with your partner with your like two children and your dog in like a nice house with maybe a garden that someone you can kind of do your thing and you can retire there and maybe move to like spain in your like 70s so yeah we're still pursuing the same thing it's just the visuals of it have changed like the optics are

now well i'll have a lovely white bed sheet on it on the grass at a picnic take us back to the live but i'll have a lovely white like bed linen on a huge four poster kind of delicious bed um from m&s and i will also have my dog will be a little just like little labrador vibe and the optics of it have changed yeah kind of thinking what do normal people want it's like this so far from what i visually want a little lovely labrador it's like people want these things it's still essentially what fucking lenny and george were looking for it's just like you just want to have like comfortable stability that is like admirable to others that you have not got through winning the lottery or anything that's kind of seen as um like oh you didn't earn that it's like no you want to have earned that through hard work so that you can then feel accomplished this is what i was going to say

it's like the isn't that's not even the fucked bit the fucked bit is everyone's screaming about anti-capitalism anti-capitalism and yet we've never worked harder yeah it's like we're all screaming about anti-capitalism and blah blah and self-care and like take days off and blah blah but in order to keep it you look around and think well i know you're fucking lying yeah because if i if i'm trying to keep up with you i have to ignore everything that you're saying and everything that i'm saying because i know that that's not the reality of what you're doing it's like we're really at a point where we're not practicing what we're preaching i feel like with the productivity and the hot girl summer and the manifesting it's just like yeah we're saying one thing and living doing the complete

opposite and you're working a lot of the time unpaid a lot of the stuff that you think is not labor is actually labor like you work a huge shift at somewhere i don't know you're a teacher you do a whole fucking long day cleaning up fucking children teaching them their times tables blah blah blah then you come back and it's like well now i kind of need to i'm going to the pub and i do really want to get an instagram picture there so that i can also appear successful in this way because you're working you're working to compete with everyone else that you see on the on the internet and all of this stuff so i've got to do this oh and also i've also got to cook dinner and you're doing a lot of like unpaid and now my sister's calling me telling me this sort of thing with her argument so now i have to invent now i'm a therapist for an hour it's like you are a million things in one if you

exist in this world right now 25 you're a 21st century woman or whoever you are you are a million things in one and like 99 of them are not given the credit you're not given the credit for in society you're you're considered worthless so it's like okay well do i just die die yeah well no you don't die no yeah let's not do i just die yeah yeah no you don't no so i want to ask you a question just all that being said it's horrific and all this stuff i do just kind of want to get into the fun of it as well because i just think we're trying to do an episode you're gonna ask me if I've ever manifested anything well I know I wanted to well I know I know that you have I know that it's just manifesting happens all the time but I wanted to ask you what's like the most fun thing you've ever manifested like the biggest thing that

sticks in your head of like oh my god I cannot believe I manifested that or that you think was like down to some kind of like manifesting process yeah there are so many things but for the sake of being on the podcast i'll say the podcast oh my god so fucking true go on tell the story i almost don't know where the story began i don't even know what the story is i don't know because it's it's hard to even it's almost like i'm i'm gonna say all this but it's also like well do i believe any of it i don't know yeah but i think can we just suspend disbelief for this story sort of thing yeah yeah it goes without saying privilege goes without saying all these things they go without saying capitalism yeah it kind of is we're all on the same page

it is a huge privilege to think that you have any power to create a life yeah if you're screaming screaming you are the authority in your own life it's like yeah there's a whole lot of privilege going on and even the awareness of to articulate that however i think nana summed that up perfectly that's nana's point is goes without saying it's huge and now here's all our bullshit that we're gonna put in because it's just fun yeah the one and i do believe this honestly without question when i have good things in my life i do feel i remember once this was like this was it might even be like a year ago maybe more we recorded an episode and we cut that whole thing we had a whole argument about soulmates do you remember because i said that you're my you're one of my soulmates that soulmates are real and that you're one of mine you said well i don't believe in them and i said

well that's fucking rude because i just said you're one of mine soulmates that soulmates are real and that you're one of mine you said well i don't believe in them and i said well that's fucking rude because i just said you're one of mine fucking nutter well i don't know about you but i think you're deluded and also you don't mean anything to me essentially saying that just in one but i do feel like with the soulmates thing just with anything i am the sort of person that likes to believe in in like a in a sort of destiny in a fate situation and i think in part i believe that because also i've had really fucking shitty things happen to me that i almost feel quite justified in my belief of my nice things yeah because it's kind of um i'm not i'm not gonna spell who it is but i'm not this vague character that seth was talking about earlier of like yeah thinking you've had a gruel in life

when you haven't. It's almost the gruels have been. Gruel. Honestly, gruel-a-devil. Real dated reference. Christ. Kind of my grandma's loving that little joke. I think it is that kind of thing

of like when you've had the shitty things, not that I've had the shittiest life ever, but just when you've had the shitty things, you do feel had the shittiest life ever but just when you've had the shitty things you do feel the niceness yeah you can feel the niceness then and I do feel like there is something just a little bit a little bit of sparkle a little bit of magic a little bit of spice to that yeah a little bit of spice around the idea of like I didn't know you like I didn't know you for long even before we were like let's do a thing no no we didn't know each other properly at all and i always knew i wanted to do a thing before but

it's like it never happened like do you know i mean it's just sometimes you just get nudged into and it's true nobody's coming harry no one picks you up and puts you in where you want to be or puts you where you need to be you do need to make it happen however sometimes i feel like and when it comes to the podcast i feel like there are universal nudges where even just being inched closer to you the fact that we met yeah you know it wasn't i think meeting people or like being in a room with someone or just do you know i mean finding yourself in a situation that you didn't plan for that is kind of um you know i don't think it's the worst thing in the world if you want to think that that's some sort of universal magic.

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ACAST.com It's not necessarily a coincidence. Yeah. And also, I remember you saying something like sort of the year before it was kind of your in that new year i just want to have some kind of instagram i don't know what it is but i want to have like an aesthetic page where i post things i care about or something like that and i think it was in the february that we were like right let's do something and then you're like fuck i didn't realize this is something that i like this was what i wanted even said that i wanted at the like i didn't know that i was heading that way and i think i easily couldn't have in the sense of like it was literally a

passing dream do you know what i mean it's not something that i was putting into action and actually i was gonna say i feel like with manifesting and like goal setting and all of this stuff i've got two ways of doing it the first being like a sort of spiritual manifesting sense it leans more into that but it's also not for me that spiritual quote-unquote manifesting just comes down to giving myself the permission to think about what i would actually want yeah because i absolutely know that when i thought that the kind of that new year prior to creating this space with you I hadn't given myself permission to want it because which then leads into the second half my other side which is putting it into action first I have to give myself permission to think

about what I would actually want yeah and from there I can start thinking about okay but how would I make that happen like week by week what does that look like for me completely completely and that is the two sides of it's all very well being like i wish i wish i wish upon a star that i will become the ceo of my own company and then being like right i'm off to my um shift the whatever yeah someone wrote in a really good message saying i feel like manifesting is very passive and it is basically just wishing and it's like yeah you're wishing on yeah a star you're wishing on sephie starry night set yeah literally but then i also think i think i am just inherently a bit of a dreamer in that it's like i think you should wish i think you should wish wish with all your might but give yourself permission to wish yeah

completely because i think it's like you don't even really need to do the action fuck it yeah of course if you actually want it to happen do you have to put some action in yeah action to me suggests some kind of desperation yeah that has to be separated i think you need to accept that your life is as it is and that if it never happens you'll be happy and you're fine um and this would just be a thing that kind of wouldn't it be great if this also happened like oh my god it would be amazing but my life as it stands is also absolutely stunning because I think when you want something I don't know where I was reading this I'm kind of thinking was it in my Eckhart Tolle book but I don't think it was but it was like wanting is essentially suffering like it's kind of the act of wanting something

if you tune into that feeling it's just suffering it's just not accepting your life it's having a crush on Seth Rogen it's like yeah this is I'm never i will never be never be again i will never be happy until i'm with seth rogan i need fucking vases in my room now i will never be happy again vases in my room seth rogan in my bed yeah i will never be happy but alack you can't live like that but actually i think what you were saying about desperation i think it actually comes down to then you have to separate it's whether or not you're whatever you're desiring it's the purity of that desire because also i easily could have had when i was so as you said i like i was thinking oh i would just love like a space some sort of online thing i would love to have some sort of connection with people where it's like things that we actually care about like

something real versus that easily could have been me sat there having the passing thought of like i want people to tell me they love me yeah i want to be validated on instagram do you know what i mean like you can and it goes both ways i guess the the optics of what that could look like could be exactly the same but my desire i'm happy to say was pure in the purest sense of like i would love something that really meant something even if it just meant something to me and then it came in like the most amazing way of those without saying that it came in the most amazing way but it like it is a pure thing and it does it matters if if to no one it matters it definitely matters to us yeah which is good

that's the main thing but it's true you will be you will be wanting something out of desperation if you're wanting to be validated for something that isn't pure but i think putting things into action is fine if you're if you're doing a pure thing completely if you're doing it because you genuinely just want to do that you want that experience in your life i think you're well within your rights to want better for yourself and try and make it happen it's kind of if you want it for the pleasure of wanting it it reminds me of my poem that i said in a few episodes about my ridiculous poem or not even poem i think it was kind of a chant a mantra i don't know what it was it kind of came to me from the gods yeah um but if you want it no what

is it yeah what was it if you want it you might as well forget it if you want it, no, what is it? Yeah. What was it? If you want it, you might as well forget it. If you need it, then go on out and get it. That was the ending. That was the crucial bit. Do you want it because you really want it? Or do you want it because you really need it? If you want it, then go on out and get it. No.

No. Yeah. Yes. No. And if you need it, you might as well forget it. That can be fun. That's it. Forget the no in the middle and that was it makes no sense

it's like what they're listening like what i've really got no idea what's going on it wasn't genius but i made it up in the car once when i was driving i thought that is great there were there were other verses there were great things they were like are you look do you want it because you're looking next door was a thing are you comparing yourself like there was a whole thing yeah yeah yeah fuck knows it was long if anyone remembers it from my friends tell me if anyone saved that in their notes at the time but i think that's it do you if you're seeking something because you want it to elevate your life for like the pleasure of having it and you're like this will be a great thing i really just want to go to thought park on tuesday that'll be fucking great oh my god and trust me i do should

we go live at thought park oh it would be amazing if we were live in the queue and then we went on a roller coaster live and drop our phone it ends up on the news or like something crazy happens it ends up on the news what an accident thanks to that touch wood no no i'm not necessarily thinking touch wood i'm more thinking it gets stuck and it's like what else is gonna happen it's like girls have been stuck at the top of of stealth for 45 minutes and we're streaming now from sephian wing i went on a roller coaster once with my retainer and i got to the top and it spanned me upside down and my retainer dropped out of my mouth onto the ground i had to go and find it and

i couldn't find it and had to get a replacement that is crazy i know it's raining retainers it's also really embarrassing it's like you're with all your friends and it's like what we're here hunting for my retainer it's like don't they're like what are you looking for it's like don't worry nothing it's like honestly don't worry about why don't you guys go to the toilet now you said you needed a wee i'll be fine i'll join you in five minutes why are you spitting so much don't worry don't worry forget about it your teeth are looking really shit right now don't even worry about it it's fine it's fine it's fine like me losing my fucking contact lens right before we went live makes me nauseous thinking about it we knew something crazy would

happen crazy so unbelievable we're wild as shit guys so something with manifesting that i wanted to talk about as well was i always feel like the emphasis on like thinking thought and like having like a specific outcome that you want to like i want to have this amount of money or i want to have this job or i want to have this house or piece of clothing or um partner or whatever or this experience um i think that doesn't work for me in that i always think my manifestations never come true i didn't know this i really think it is whenever i i've said it before in a in a in many an episode i'm sure but it's like my life always goes not to my plan because i think my

plan is very strict and very um i don't know what's best for me i hate to say it but it's the desperation vibe that you were talking about earlier yeah it's like if i'm like right i have to end up in paris next year your poem's gone out the window poem's gone out the window it's i need to end up in paris if i don't end up in paris i'm fucked i'm fucked and fucked and then it's like actually paris wasn't for you because you're actually going here instead and i think yeah that is part of my whole thing with it of relinquish all control and trust the timing of life in that i do not know what's best for me in a lot of ways or because all of the things that i have pursued in my life or a lot of the things that I have pursued have turned to

shit and a lot of the things in fact I would say all of the good things that I have in my life have been of no planning or action in a lot of way of my own that it doesn't feel completely organic it's like everything good that has happened to me has been organic and all of the things that have been like letdowns and disappointments have been me trying to orchestrate my life in a certain way of being like i want to meet this person at this party at this time it's like you won't meet them you will never meet them you're writing scripts yeah i just think letting the your life flow in an organic way maybe there is some fate going on maybe there is some predestined thing that you're trying to steer it off course and it's like no you're supposed to be going over here but maybe it is just you cannot force a river your life to go in any direction

it's going to flow as it's going to flow like i'm almost got the river's going over here but i'm trying to dig a new fucking canal it's like no let it flow as it's gonna flow you literally have no choice damn damn girl that's a good point nice that's all i got damn honestly i've seen myself yeah no but honestly damn that's a good point yeah i i agree with you though and i see that for you in the sense of like i i agree with you i see the that rigidity and i think that that's a real problem for people that's why i think the balance is really important of like knowing that you deserve something knowing you can go out and you know make something you can you can put you know you're capable of making things happen for yourself in some way but then also not forcing it jesus, don't force it. Are you forcing us?

I didn't consent to this. The universe did not consent to this. It's not consensual. My life's like, I did not consent to this direction. Honestly, stop forcing me. You can definitely tell the difference between in yourself. Oh, I can definitely tell the difference between something that is organic and something that is being forced

because if you feel resistance. Can you tell though? Can you tell though can you tell i can tell i can tell sometimes we've had convos where you're like yeah no fuck no no but i think i can tell for example something that i always think well that i've been thinking recently was back in the day when i was like applying for jobs out of uni it's like i can feel the force in this i can feel that like i just need to get feels like somebody else's life a job out of uni yeah it's like it's not what I wanted.

And there was a whole period. I'm going to just say the fucking brand name. There was a whole period in my life where I had like interviews at Buzzfeed and I was like, okay, I could get this job at Buzzfeed. And it became a bit of a like, I don't really want this, but I think I'm suited to that. And that's what I should do. And it's kind of what everyone would expect me to do out of uni sort of thing. It's like, yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah. You're kind of doing some social media thing at buzzfeed it's like that's not what i even want i literally don't want that yeah you're sending us kind of quizzes what friend's character is your breakfast which shrek character are you oh kill me kill me now i'll do the quiz i will not make the quiz no offense if you're making the quiz by the way because also it does go hand in hand with look we also do what we gotta do you know also it's like i'd have a lot more money if i did that i would be able to have a lot nicer things if i did that but it's not i know i wouldn't be happy in it because yeah and then i feel the difference in the how organic this has felt or like i even thought it when i was doing my like illustration stuff recently it's

like i woke up with an idea i went to the shops got the stuff i needed came back did it made it and it's like that didn't feel i didn't feel any resistance it wasn't of a desire to appear like anything it was purely just like oh i've got an idea i'm gonna do it i'm gonna make it and blah blah blah rather than if i do this kind of calculated steps to if i do this then people will view me in a certain way that that therefore will allow me this opportunity and therefore i will be able to live here and meet this piece this type of person and this type of person i then 40 years down the line i will have this and this and this and it's like no i don't know where i'm going to be in in five years time let alone 40 years time right now totally that i think that's hard though for a lot

of people because it is kind of the opposite of your survival instinct it's not self-preservational at all you don't have a pension that's for sure yeah that's for sure but then simultaneously if your survival instinct is telling you to fucking stress every fucking day and live in misery then you're also not you're definitely not living you know in um kind of prime in your prime state but i think that's the battle that is i think that's the battle in life yeah it's finding the balance i don't know right now you may not need to be making a lot of the decisions that you're making or like if the root of the way you live like a miserable life is for enough money to live and all of these things yes then it's probably a good idea to live that miserable life because like fuck you need to have

a house you need to have food all of this stuff but if the root of why you're choosing to live and all of these things yes then it's probably a good idea to live that miserable life because like fuck you need to have a house you need to have food all of this stuff but if the root of why you're choosing to live a miserable life beyond your means i.e to buy nice clothes to be able to go to things that you don't really like you're living for the excess or for an image an image of happiness i'm saying of wanting to be able to put in your bio like executive producer at blah blah but you actually don't want to be that thing out of habit and the stories that you've been told there's an element not even an element of performance it is performance it's fully performance and i think if you're living in misery for that even if you've convinced yourself that you're kind of happy i don't know it's almost i don't know what my point is really well is anyone happy though in saying that because you'll

be sat doing your painting thinking tomorrow i need to blah, blah, blah. It's like, oh, I am not the poster child of happiness. Bye. No, but just kind of all of us in life, this whole thing just becomes redundant because none of us are being present anyway. Yeah, completely. Yeah.

I mean, so even if you're, even if we just let go and we just do the right amount of taking action and we find that balance, you're still probably going to be miserable because you're stressing about what you've got to do next week so actually this whole episode is redundant is void yeah because i just want to talk about being present no i completely agree i think that is it isn't it but that's the whole thing that i was saying that well i'm quoting from someone but god knows who i think it is that

cartel a million kind of profits well that. That it's like. Profits. It's like a million profits to the end of time. That the feeling of wanting is suffering. Desire is suffering. To want something that you do not have is not living in the present moment. Therefore you are, you're dead. If you're not living right now, where are you? You're dead.

Well, you haven't lived a day in your life. You spent the whole time in your head. You've never come to planet Earth. You've never been sat on the ground. You've been in a brain the whole time in your head. You've never come to planet Earth. You've never been sat on the ground. You've been in a brain the whole time. You've been in a kind of abstract realm of tomorrow, simultaneously stressing about the past, simultaneously stressing about how you're going to pay your rent next month, simultaneously stressing about that conversation that hasn't happened yet.

You're everywhere but alive. Yeah, you're everywhere but here. You're not alive. You are everywhere but here. You're everywhere but in your life. That's fucked. which is why the nobody's coming harry thing i'm not going to explain it you'll have to go and find the episode where we first spoke about that but no one's coming to pull you back into the present moment

maybe this is us maybe this is us pulling you into the present moment it's kind of in inception where they play the this is like we're waking you up no no it's not yeah yeah kind of a spinning top that's what i remember from that film exactly yeah this is us pulling you back in and being like hang on are you present right now what are you doing are you cooking dinner are you going for a walk are you seeing your friends later are you stressing about something where are you right now look up are you on a walk right now look up yeah look around look around are there some birds in the sky it's nice to meet you we're saffian wing nice to meet you nice to be here with you it's nice to meet you what a lovely moment how does it feel right now in your body have you got like period pains right now like oh it's like your back kind

of itching a bit like your feet are they aching like what is going on how does it feel in your body like right now in this moment right now yeah yeah god oh i love that that's more important than at this party i'm gonna bump into the love of my life fuck that no you're not how are you right now yeah fuck that you might not even go it might be fucking cancelled because there's a hurricane i don't know why there's a hurricane it might be a hurricane but also at that party are you even there how are you feeling at your body in that moment then exactly you're not there because you're thinking is he coming is he coming yeah where are my friends oh god do i look a bit

lame right now oh my god my top is too tight i don't look good in this you're not there when you're there you're not even there where have you been you're everywhere but here where have you been all my life i don't know what you're singing but where have you been where have you been all my life you know that song rihanna oh yeah yeah got it got it now that now it's hit me where have you been do you know what i kind of thought you were gonna sing i don't know why i just haven't met you yet oh my god i thought you were gonna say and I've had the time of my life. Yeah, nice.

Nice. Jesus. Well, anyway, pull you into the present moment. I think we've done that. Am I saying a thing or are you saying a thing? I can ask you something. Yeah, that was what we said, wasn't it? You were going to ask me something sad.

Go on, ask me. It's not sad, but I said it could take a turn for the evil. And I said, if there's ever an opportunity to make something sad, I'll do it. But go on ask me but it's not sad but i said it could take a turn for the evil and i said if there's ever an opportunity to make something sad i'll do it but go on okay well i was gonna say have you ever accidentally manifested something bad um no i i think so my belief would be that that just looks like what you were talking about earlier of like the desperation of like you're gonna set yourself up for failure i don't i just don't believe in that i think you manifest something bad by spending your time being cruel to yourself what about you yeah you create unhappiness within you yeah same i just i do think it's that you if you're coming with negative

vibes you will just be fed negative vibes if you come to anything with again desperation and kind of i need this i need this it's just it's going to come back in your face kind of with shit because even when you get the thing you could be i want an oscar i want to win an oscar i want to win an oscar you're standing on stage thank you so much and you're feeling nothing my intentions for this were bleak yeah my intentions were i need this thing and then you're stood there going i don't fucking leonardo dicaprio's looking at me i don't even fucking know him fucking joaquin phoenix over there don't you mean nothing to me that's not true you're obsessed no but i'm not me in that scenario oh those two people came to mind because leonardo capri yeah oscars i think of him he would be at the oscar joaquin was the next

person i thought of because you are my life and soul and everything right but you were playing a character in that thing i was playing a character of someone that desperately wants an oscar okay well i mean i wouldn't say no to one to me those sorts of things it's like yeah i want it like i kind of want to find a bar of gold in an old coat pocket it's like i'm not banking on it i would love that to happen as in a chocolate bar gold bar or a bar of gold a bar of gold a slab of gold it's like yeah that would be great i mean i would love to find that that's kind of my in lord of the rings but i'm not doing anything in my waking life to make it happen um okay well i was gonna ask you not a sad vibe where are you kind of at with manifesting and like

you know what what what's your like mindfulness vibe at the moment i know i know yoga yeah okay so it goes without saying boring i'm the yoga gal at the moment but you can talk about yoga but well i'm not going to because it's just boring but i mean in a manifesting sense like what do you do to stop the desperation or what do you do to keep it real i am in quite a good routine at the moment of i found these like um meditations that i really like because i don't really as much as i really like headspace i do think it's a bit i don't know it's not really it's not really my vibe there goes our sponsor unless they want to sponsor me then it's entirely my vibe andy i'll do anything for you but it's the best thing i've ever seen to be honest it did get

me into it like when i was like 14 my dad was like there's a thing called headspace do you want it like the subscription app thing when it was like back in the day and i was like yeah this is great i had it for years it helped my anxiety so much back in the day but now you evolved to great meditations youtube channel yeah there's a youtube channel showing me this every day because after our picnic we came back and kind of died we were like lying in my bed real couple vibes and i we were watching game of thrones but we stopped it and i remember we watched well we stopped it many times but we were watching what's it called tom holland performing under my umbrella and i was like do you not just find this so fit and you're like no i was like no but i wish i did because i do get it but it's it must be internalized homophobia

there's something going on it's just completely internal it's toxic masculinity that's the only reason that it's not hot but it is but also i think sexuality and desire in sexual desire is so interesting but anyway it's the most interesting thing i could kind of talk about that all day that tom holland performance yeah yeah it's kind of making me quite sweat to talk about it really if you haven't watched it tom holland i think it's just really fucking hot i'm honestly sweating no i'm really hot all of a sudden it's a hot day go watch tom holland lip sync battle and you may die or may not die of hotness what was that what was i talking about but anyway great meditations then i also showed you the it just came up on the side great meditations which is this random youtube channel which i hate the aesthetic of i'm sorry if you're listening the person that designs it i hate

the aesthetic it's kind of there goes another sponsor fall out the window great meditations it's kind of they're kind of cartoon girls sitting there but there's one woman's voice that speaks on the on these videos she goes oh what she says she's like this is for your most loving and highest good and it's like it's very american she goes holding it at the top and let it go with a sigh oh lovely it makes me feel very relaxed i i think i don't like a man speaking to me in meditation it's like i can't relax with you in my ears i thought i didn't but actually so i it's funny you should say this because i was gonna i was literally thinking this morning do i use a great meditation sephie's favorite youtube channel meditation i thought no i'll just stick because i use this app called balance nice not sponsored i

fucking wish it was but i got a year free last year so i'm still i'm using my year yeah and i actually really like it and i prefer the man's voice he's called a fozu i think or and the girl's called leah and i just i think i prefer him you prefer a fozu yeah no i get that i think it just depends like i agree i'm joking they're saying i couldn't have a man's voice in my head but also no but i totally get that i totally get because i don't like a man asmr would set me set my teeth on edge fucking honestly that would freak me right out actually because i think there's something a little bit it's intimate asmr yeah because it's like i'm why you why is a man whispering to me get the

fuck out my fucking earhole you fucking cunt stop trying to rape me honestly you freak you're a perv you're a perv yeah get the who the fuck do you think you're talking to yeah back the fuck up honestly i i completely agree male asmr because it's dark and it's intimate whereas a woman i'm like oh kind of finger me yeah it's like come brush my hair baby but yeah no i'm into that at the moment so i do that every morning but like she does ones where as you're lying in bed like as you're waking up and then ones that kind of get you to go to sleep as well and then there are like millions of like for everything like everything but i quite like doing one before i've got out of bed and i also am doing a new thing before i've got out of bed i like to read a bit like just literally like three pages because i think i

am just best suited in a fictional world i'm just best suited in like the daydreams of life and i think before i have to do anything in this shitty reality i do like to be thrown into just straight away make the most of the alternate ones first just get me into dreamland like just get me in i've literally just come out of dreaming and i'm like get me into dreamland now but i think it just helps me honestly this place sucks fucking here again jesus but it's like i think i just like to i think i just i like reading i like being in yeah i just i quite like to get straight into fiction straight away in that way like into a fictional thing that sounds healthy that's really great that's the thing no but same here but i think i struggle with addiction to that oh i same same that's why it's just like a couple pages so let's recommend it to these lot but that's why it's

not like oh i'm gonna put on tv straight away because then you're done for but it's like i'm a goner reading still quite present yeah reading is still quite present you i remember once being like to my dad oh i haven't done any work i've just been reading today and he was like reading is work and i do think in a lot of ways reading is very active like you are using your brain it's amazing and i definitely go through phases when i'm reading i'm not reading and stuff but that's one of my new things that it's like i like to read in the morning straight away and i think that really sets me up then i do my yoga and all of this stuff but i don't think i'm i'm not in a very spiritually charged place at the moment like the fucking full moon's just been didn't put my crystals out all of that shit which i like to do kind of for fun but i'm not feeling very

spookster like i don't have any ghostly stuff happening like i have nothing spookster which i'm gassed about so if anyone has any ghost stuff tell me it all oh yeah it goes without saying i'd love to hear it i will i'm kind of thinking i can't wait for halloween like halloween episode oh my god we could do a halloween dress-up vibe oh my god i couldn't wait halloween's my favorite fucking day not even halloween day halloween vibe remember when we thought you were gonna get sacrificed on halloween yeah that was mental that was mental that was mental i don't know how much we can say but basically sephie was in an environment that she couldn't leave and it was like she could only leave once halloween had passed i was like can i leave now and they said

you can't leave until after halloween and thought, I'm definitely getting sacrificed on Halloween. Definitely getting sacrificed on Halloween. Oh my God. Like it was amazing, but it was just, you never really want to hear, you can't leave until the day after Halloween. It's like, that's convenient. Halloween.

It's like, well, you're not leaving then. It's like, I've seen this plot before. You're never leaving. I've seen this before. Honestly, I think i've seen this film before yeah um don't bring me into taylor swift are we rapping oh we're rapping okay cool i don't know we can rap i guess yeah well i've got nothing else to say no neither i just basically can't when it starts being i can't wait for halloween you know it yes i will it's kind of march whatever

what month is it may i've got bad news for you it's june and i can't wait till october it's june now yeah yeah it's june now oh look this is what i mean i don't know where we are in life so if you don't hear from us assume the worst assume the worst um but also thank you thank you for listening and thank you for bearing with us i feel like i don't know i feel like we're at such a good point with you guys at the moment we very much live with us in our minds all the time like we very much go through our days with you on the mind so totally whether or not that's reciprocated that's fine that's absolutely fine we'll see you next week hopefully if not seem worse