Goes Without Saying - fomo, pressure, & growing up: podtober #6

Episode Date: October 29, 2023

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Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Welcome back to Sephian Wings. Spooktacular. Bonanza. Bonanza, extravaganza. And today we're talking about the scariest thing of all. Of all. Of all the ghouls in the land. We all know what it is.

Old father time father time oh it's just time the tick tock of the clock it's the classic tick tock of time yeah it is scary right it ticks and tocks and don't stop um well basically what we were saying was that was really weird everything we just did that was like really bad allow us to literally have the egg of us i really do in this in this whole series yeah i can tell our embarrassment really tested every time we yeah we say three two one go and then we press record and then we have to go into this well why did we start this it's bad it's bad um what we were actually talking about there if you didn't get we were talking about how halloween and kind of all the festive shit so like christmas etc etc

all of the seasonal kind of festivities it means one thing when you're a kid and one thing when you're a teenager and then it means one thing when you grow up yeah and maybe grow out of the way that those seasons looked previously and i feel like that nostalgia hit and like it hits hard kind of the FOMO of yeah your previous experiences or like just you're aged out of something and things look different now finding the pros and cons in that it's just an interesting interesting way in yeah i do say so myself i think i actually have a real like even you saying that just gave me like a sad tummy a little bit i'm sorry i really hate the almost the pressure to not be excited by fun things like the seasons of fun things that we used to love like almost there's a childishness to enjoying Halloween

or enjoying Christmas or enjoying to be honest fucking anything anything in this life there is such a pressure just to be like oh god grow God, grow out of it, like grow up. I actually saw a meme, which I don't see many in my life. I'm not really somebody that comes across memes in my life, but I saw one. And I thought, oh, I see why people like these things. And one of them, it was like me, colon. I don't know what it was saying, like something funny, just like something we would say, just something that anyone I would like would say, just like a funny observation about something kind of.

Right. It's a bit hard to follow. They were saying like something. They were saying just something. Okay. It was like me colon something. Okay. I'm loving it.

And then just like, oh my God, I love Hermione's dress so much. I just think that's so cute. I love it so much. Hermione's dress, iconic, iconic,

iconic. And then it was like my mom, colon, just bought a house and it's like funny i love it i see it i see that's the vision of the meme and it was almost like yeah i hate hate hate the the idea that as soon as you start doing like adult things like buying houses you've kind of graduated university you're working you're earning money all of this stuff it's like suddenly good for you guys by the way so good for you no congratulations that's what you kind of have to do in it like you're doing well they're like things we should do killing it yeah you're doing well but yeah i hate the idea that once you start on that path it's like well you can no longer care about for example hermione's dress like all of the things that are also fun and cool and interesting

and maybe even more important which is like suddenly it's like oh you're talking about um i don't know taylor swift era's toys like your cousin just bought a house i thought it was a great example because it's almost like what the hell is this agreement that we will step into in adulthood that life should be really dry and shit i it makes me feel really ill i really hate it i agree it makes me feel really sad i also agree with you i feel like it's even it's not even when you like put yourself on a certain path of like doing certain things there's some element to it that is like the kind of undeniable objective truth of the number of age that has been attributed to you or like the amount of years that you've gone through there is like an expectation to

yeah not enjoy things anymore and almost like get your priorities right she needs her priorities goes that saying but then i also think it kind of when you were saying like there's this pressure to lose the fun things i also think at the same time there is this weird pressure to be able to get into the spirit and like oh you're not enjoying your oh you're not doing it oh why are you not oh blah blah like almost i feel like there's alongside the awareness of like grow up sort of yeah there's also a pressure to get into the spirit of the season and yet sometimes i think that can feel really jarring for people when it's like but it doesn't feel the same or it feels different yeah it is undeniably it's yeah it's not as fun in lots of ways like i think it's a weird like double-edged sword of like there's a pressure to grow the fuck up and like how dare you have fun but then there's also a thing of like oh get a smile on your face oh god oh you're not doing anything oh you're not

doing anything oh you're not doing anything about it's like fuck off like oh my god literally fuck off no i hate that that's even worse yeah i'm sorry that was that was horrible yeah it's like oh god i hate both sides it's bad it's bad but i think the right way out hopefully we'll figure it out in this episode but you definitely we definitely that's a promise i hope so it's guaranteed no refunds i think like the idea hopefully would be no matter where you're at or what you're doing you just get to enjoy the little moments of whatever the day brings and like try and relinquish the pressure you want to do like that's that's kind of what i hated about you saying that because it's almost like my whole resistance can i just also say i wasn't saying it from my heart no no no it went straight into my heart like totally okay because i think what i hate about the pressure to not find things fun i hate it that there are like a certain set of rules that seem really shit so i think i hate

the rules on the other side as well it's just like i hate hate hate the idea of like well you have to do this then it's like no i fucking don't she's a rebel makes me sick as well yeah i know i know i know who says so how how is it different i can wear my comforts yeah honestly my halloween costume when i take my kids to school oh my god i don't want to be that woman i think that'd be iconic it depends what it is if it's if it's miney's dress no that's so weird that is a bit grow up i mean i i support you know what i would be going if i'm picking up my boring old kid from the fucking schoolyard whatever and someone shows up wearing hermione's dress i am going right straight over yeah i'm being like queen i would imagine you would yeah i should hope so get on your knees oh no i'll do the whole bit she should have asked me that she looks beautiful

yeah she does everyone she's having a moment walking into school. Okay. Yeah, can I ask you how things have changed for you as you've gotten older? Or is that too much? Well, I think the main thing that you lose, for example, if we're talking in the realm of Halloween, a lot of things have changed. But if we're talking in the spooky realm. A sense of childish wonder.

A sense of childish wonder, of course. But I think the main thing that you lose is trick-or-treating in a very tangible way like that is a thing that is not appropriate for you to go and do i can't go and get unless you then have your own child or borrow someone else it's not the same is it you're sending them to obviously not no unless you're gonna steal their sweets at the end exactly but the thing is i never liked sweets so it was never about the sweets for me what was it just about the pure? It was just the spook of it all, like going knocking on the doors and getting... Oh, I just loved it so much. Were you...

What was your... Like, as a child, child, what was your trick-or-treating experience? Would you go and knock on strangers' houses? But the thing is, also, I live in a small town, so I know everyone. No one's a stranger, I see. There are definitely houses that are strangers but but you kind of had like the pick of the bunch yeah no i know everyone so it would be get dressed into our costumes go around like you'd probably meet up with a group of people sort of thing

go around all the houses yeah never to a house that we didn't know but why would somehow i had a halloween party once which was fun um you did i had an actual halloween party when i was a kid and i loved it so much that's so fun with like games and stuff where it was like um make so like there were two teams and it was like you've both got to make someone into a mummy and it's like with like toilet paper that's really fun when we had like there's a thing around the back of my house that's like that my granddad built was like a pulley system for like laundry that my granddad oh amazing i really want one of them and we were hanging um donuts like mini donuts off strings and you had

to put your arms behind your back and like munch the donut that's fine it's kind of apple bobbing but with donut donut bobbing bobbing so fun but kind of vertical it's like yeah you're kind of yeah you're going up i feel like i've really blacked out like a lot of my halloween oh life in general life in general yeah beyond halloween and i feel like not growing up with siblings means that i have no one around to be like do you remember that thing we dressed up as blah blah blah and it's like no one's saying that to me do you know what i mean i know i completely get that because i think that is probably the only reason i remember it is because to be honest half of my memories shared memories are probably not my memories they're someone else's memories yeah i've kind of and the kind

of stories as well it's like the law yeah exactly like the yeah did i even play the game of the fucking i bet i did i bet i was the i do also feel like another kind of um arena that almost the festivities play out in beyond like your school and your like small life as a kid but once you become an adult i feel like the workplace halloween oh that sounds fun that's getting done to mifflin yeah could be done to mifflin could be almost it's like it's the costume contest could also be a bleak vibe if you're not feeling great i'm sure it is a big vibe that's why i'm thinking just more so if you're if you're not feeling good i feel like the expectation to enjoy yourself or like it hits almost almost to entertain oh god and be funny yeah i have a funny costume it takes a lot of actually mental prep i feel like i feel like the season in general

there's a lot of mental um it takes a lot of effort to like and i feel like sometimes the pressure is almost like i need to think of a question we need to think of a question and then by the time it rolls around it's like you're too late to do it because you put so much pressure on yourself for it to be the perfect thing that you kind of miss the opportunity and then it's done do you know what's also quite bad is if you're i've had this once before where i've been it was like a work thing and we it was when i worked in a pub when i was like 18 um and it was the halloween thing and we were all going to laser quest and we're all dressing up that's fun it was really fun but i was the youngest there and i was really nervous like it felt like they were

proper men that i was working with even though now they're probably like 24 like sort of vibe okay i was pre going to uni and these people had been like they almost they were the only people i knew at that point were people from my school really and these people would have been like five or six years above me sort of thing yeah um so it felt like it's like okay these are people that i don't really know they i have no scope for them and we were all going to laser quest together in a big minibus and we all had to dress up as things from star wars thank god i know star wars i'm a big fan big fan but and and the force awakens had just come out okay i thought you were saying and the force awakened me

and obviously it was part of um the revival so it was that time it was at that time of course it was yeah 2015 and it was like right okay that i remember finding that incredibly stressful like tummy's turning feeling homesick yeah too much pressure you know and i'm nervous and i'm taxed what what was your did you do later or was that no i didn't i didn't i did kylo ren that's good no i like that it was a bit weird of me to be honest like what was your costume again it was like a child shop situation like i found this sort of cardigan that i cut gray sort of long cardigan that i cut the sleeves on it off and wore it backwards so it was like a big tunic oh i wore like a long sleeve black t-shirt i really did a kylo ren outfit wow i did like a tunic haven't even thought of the word tunic in a really long time

and i probably will like giving like 2009 sims 3 creator sim tunic tunic like it was like in her tunic he wears like a padded sort of thing he's you know he's quite a looker i remember he's a stud do you know what that was probably i saw it in the cinema with my mom at the time i mean something was awakened in me definitely if it was the force and being like wow who is this man who is this now we all know is adam drive divine mental i could watch that again soon like i'm due a week soon okay i'll watch it with you do you have any halloween i do but what do i want to tell i'm so what i do want to say is i'm sorry that i've been such an empty vessel recently this illness is so boring but still at this point i'm just like yeah i wish you were feeling better i'm head empty i feel bad i was really well i was thinking this

morning like it's just so annoying like i feel like i really i haven't been able to enjoy it which is well that is horrid that is a horrible thing to say isn't it isn't it horrible have you enjoyed it a bit or not really no i've you know what i've loved it but like also there's still time we've got like another week to go i have loved every second but i can feel the discrepancy of how much i would have been able to like really get into it almost like kind of what I was saying about like Halloween of like the mental, the effort that it takes. It's like I would have wanted to like really give everything and like really do this justice. And I just feel like I've been working from like 35% battery.

But you've been giving so much. We've had that full 30. I have actually been giving. We've taken that yum, yum, yum. We've eaten that full 30 like you have been oh my god working so hard jesus christ as we said the video that's on the store not the story on our instagram sephian wing go and watch it because that i mean i couldn't have edited that jesus painful itful. It was fun. It was fun. I mean, I am having the best time, but I just almost feel bad because I just feel like it's such a luxury and I'm not giving enough.

But anyway, anywho. That's just shitty pressure, though. That's literally what we were just saying of like the pressure to have fun is bollocks. Classic. I hope you like, I don't know. I kind of just hope this goes quickly for you. Like it's been so long now. Same. It's been so fucking long it's killing me do you feel like you're getting better or do you feel like it's kind of not at all that's the thing that's worrying me is i feel bad and now

it's the weekend so you can't phone the doctor you have to phone them on monday though yeah if you're not even though then you're in the queue no it'shmm. No, it's fine. Do you have any, like... Oh, no, no, that's actually really rubbish. Go on. I was going to... Well, I don't know if you have the energy to answer this, but... Oh, no, go on. Let's try it out. It takes us into...

Okay. Well, feel free to return it. Put it back where it came from. Also help me. Also help me. How... Do you have any thoughts on, like... Also help me.

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couldn't imagine who would have the message of don't do it oh probably loads of people loads of folk not us obviously but just almost in like a i don't know i kind of hate that as well like we ask women to be sexy all year round and the second they kind of are like okay fine i'll wear it like oh you were too slutty it's like what the hell fuck off yeah i hate that yeah i wish i didn't even bring it up it goes that's a big topic though well it is maybe it's a topic in itself but i just can't also like come on be real guys be real guys that doesn't even make sense come on guys be real it's like you brought it up i think that's a new kind of assume the worst of like come on guys be real it's like you brought it up i think that's a new kind of assume the worst of

like come on guys be real just be real like you're not being like be real with yourself like you you know what we're thinking so just be real for a sec it's kind of that classic thing of just imagine what you imagine what we would say what would you want us to say right well that's what we would say i love when we do that just like imagine what we would say just imagine it the word just what do you think it's probably what we think right so that's exactly what we would have said yes let's just leave that there then we can finally draw a line it's so it's such a like absurd thing to say on a podcast just imagine the conversation we would have had oh god i'm sorry i know i'm being annoying you're not at all i would i would love to do

another halloweeny thing with you or like me too well we've got a halloweeny thing coming up do we yeah in real life where we're gonna do the dress up i keep forgetting this how short is my memory goldfish it's like i can't wait for the dress up i really want to do that like i'm really excited i want to do it tomorrow to be honest yeah i think we should go not all in but like we should we should make really cool costumes for sure yeah i think it'll be i need to scratch my charity shop um making itch i'll show up in a long tunic it's a bizarre thing for me it just it wasn't what i thought it really was it wasn't like

you're going out with all these older men and you buy a gray tunic and you cut the sleeves off or something and wear it backwards they weren't like hot men they were like no that wasn't the vibe at all i didn't find any of them it was more like i really was just shy you said your tummy's turning you're feeling kind of homesick so i thought maybe she was nervous it was almost like the embarrassment of i don't know these people and i've got dressed up from as a star wars character but i don't know why i chose kylo ren and i don't know why i chose i think that i think kylo ren's the best one do you at the time yeah because it's like the film's

just come out the force awakens people it's kylo ren's era it's time it's time i mean leia is like it's too predictable luke skywalker is like what you can't walk around with a fucking lightsaber it's like cringe now yeah you're gonna be yoda jabba the heart no i think yoda is a really good one i think yoda is what i do now because it's just like iconic can't question yeah now but kylo ren makes perfect sense because like he's kind of the baddies the hot guy like it there's so much there that goes out saying it's like you're making yourself so cool it's understated i'm really up your ass thank you so much it's cool it's understated also do you know what makes it really not understated though this is actually so tragic

i i bought with my wages from working at the pub i bought kylo ren's three pronged lightsaber and you had that with you did you use it in the laser thing yeah like i bought it with me because everyone else had got like a cheap lightsaber and stuff and i was of the costume but okay showing up with that everyone's like oh how did you get this and i was kind of it's a silent room and you just hit god it was awful okay and then you have to go i hope you enjoyed yourself do you still have it i must have tried to shopped it by now oh it could be lying around somewhere i hope it is oh my god i actually i'm getting flashbacks i kind of haven't thought about that since that's funny i mean the lightsaber does

take it to it you do kind of need it i guess did you have a mask or anything yeah i made one okay i made myself like a little mask but i like wore that on my head um right like a bit of a hat god i'm actually having flashbacks and then this the one of the people that i worked with who was significantly i would say older than me as an 18 year old girl here we go asked me to go and see that movie because he was like all right she's a bad he identified the weak he asked me to go and see that movie she won't be able to resist i'd already seen it twice i he said do you want to go see it again got the lightsaber to prove it and i i like i did a real like i thought it was smooth at the time but now i just know it looks so rude i was like oh i'm gonna go over

there and let you kind of walked away oh god flashbacks can we actually can we speaking of spooky stories can we talk about you going red or oh my god it was so embarrassing guys just because i was thinking we do need to say that to to this person yeah okay but we're not using any names obviously can i tell you obviously not yeah but can you just be careful when you tell you don't make me sound like a bitch no okay we'll tell it together but let's not make me sound like a loser obviously not but that is kind of the crux of the story. Okay, that's what I'm telling you. Go on, go on.

So, we had a meeting the other day. Yeah, this is a professional environment. Do you know, like, okay, I'm just going to preface this. Sometimes I, I'm quite an awkward person in my life. Like, I'm funny, I'm cool in certain things, you know. for instance preface this we're just like sometimes i i'm quite an awkward person in my life like i'm funny i'm cool in certain things you know but i'm also there's a real undertone to me that is just like i i'm just i say weird things sometimes i do weird things sometimes and i don't know what it's going to be and on this occasion you missed a beat here yeah it was yeah a real wise wise

crossed moment yeah to say the least and i'm still embarrassed about him because we haven't clarified with this person what went on we were in a meeting and we were talking about some other people like this other podcast this famous podcast and it's two boys that run the podcast and could be anyone and we were talking about yeah that could be anyone and don't even guess because it's so random it's so random that's what makes it so bad don't even try um yeah and we were talking about this thing and i couldn't even name it and i tried and i said which i do think it's so normal of you casually it was a normal thing to say like almost it was like a funny little you know haha it wasn't almost telling it you might read that that was a normal thing to say like almost it was like a funny little you know haha it wasn't

almost telling it you might read that that was a bitchy thing to say but it no it wasn't in any way because it wasn't it actually was my reaction it was the way that seffy received it i will actually no i didn't even perceive it like say no right go and just say exactly what you said but don't say anything so so seffy was saying no who is that who is that i'd forgotten as usual who are you talking about who are you talking about and i said which the context that you don't know is that like two days ago me and seffy had been having a conversation about these people and almost seffy you'd been telling me who they were and then by two days later i've already forgotten so two days later she's forgotten classic we're in the company of this person

who's bringing them up i say oh no seffie you remember it's the guy you know you were saying the other day like is he hot that guy and then i normal it's completely normal classic sephian wing just a completely normal thing to say because yeah i think i probably did say that but yes for some reason it just caught me in an embarrassing way and i just felt myself going so red like so red and i thought probably no one's noticing this but i i can feel myself going so red and it's making it look like i really fancy this guy bear in mind i don't even know who he is like i literally don't have an image of him in my head i don't even know i don't know his name i don't know but it looked like it looked like it was like a huge it looked like it was a big crush and i

and i could see the person we're having the meeting with like looking embarrassed for me and i was like oh my god why am i going so and i was panicking for you then i was like why why i almost thought why is she pretending she doesn't know who he is oh my god because i didn't know who he was well it was just it was weird from the other point of view it was like it was like stephy was saying oh look at this guy yeah that's their podcast oh i know him he does this this and this oh do you think he's hot oh whatever right move on yeah two days later the podcast comes up so i was kind of like oh so you do yeah i remember like oh wait this is you know you were saying he was hot sort of thing so then when you started saying no no no i was like

oh god if i i've really put us in it i don't honestly i don't it was just when something just it was the weirdest but she went red as loving him was red but you know when something she was driving in maserati down a dead end street you know when someone just catches you in just like it was almost like i don't know i must have just had been like uncomfortable in that moment or something it just sort of caught me wrong and i like i don't know like was i sitting in a way you just got lost in it i just suddenly was like oh my god i'm going so red now it looks like a fancy man that was making me go redder redder redder yeah i think it was the awareness that you were going red that actually made you go more but then i came out of the

meeting and i was like did i go red then and you were like oh my god you were so red i've never seen someone because i'd really blush like i do sometimes but you were blushing oh embarrassing to blush in a meeting about some random boy that you don't even know what he looks like i think actually quite important i i'll speak for myself i was quite tipsy so i think that was also what made me then i started thinking shit like was that a weird thing it was just so weird it was it was a really odd moment and but the thing it was strange i really want to clarify with the person yeah we need that like i don't know who this boy is like it just embarrassed me for no it was just a weird moment it was just a weird moment because also like if it was someone that i fancied i'd

be like oh my god yes oh my god exactly on any other normal thing and and also if it was someone that you actually fancied i the chance are i wouldn't have made the joke of like oh haha we were saying like is he hot sort of thing i think i would i think it embarrassed me you would have done a normal thing it just got me wrong that day yeah just it didn't land it didn't land with me and i just got and i did apologize profusely but i i do think in hindsight it was just a weird um moment it was just so odd it was so odd i don't know what happened but i think just you flushed and then you were like oh it would be bad if i went red all of a sudden do you know what i was also saying this on the train to win i did a module at uni really interesting module like 18th century feminist literature and it they spoke a lot about blushing and i find it

so interesting just this phrase that they used and it was like the legibility of the body of the body i think that it summed up how i felt in that moment of like my body is betraying me like i might think i can hide how i like how embarrassed i am right now for no reason if i one more time but my body is sending out the message she's embarrassed she's embarrassed it was yeah yeah i hate being publicly embarrassed i i do kind of think that goes even just beyond embarrassing it goes across so many things of like when you are resisting the natural flow of your body or your life yeah it makes it so much worse it's devil snare devil snare yeah it's like even if we had said in the moment oh my god i'm going red it looks like i fancy him what the hell

then it would have been so normal we would have you wouldn't have blushed that much i think if you would have been like wait i'm getting it was it's just blah blah blah oh it was so weird but you were so thrown it was so i think also it didn't help yeah we'd had a drink i was prepared for a coffee that morning and we ended up having it was also an intense environment it was just a weird experience it was really nice i just really it was lovely between the three it was stunning three yeah it was stunning it was just oh i don't even know but yeah it was not a great moment for me that was so embarrassing i'm still embarrassed about it it was she was so red oh god don't stop just like however red you're picturing time stop oh my god it actually kills me no no it was good it's funny

it was just the three of us the perfect person to be we need to revisit that we have to i'm i'm glad that it's actually the perfect scenario because it's like wait i don't know why i was going so red like that's so funny rather than it being like oh i've said something that's like that actually is bad and you're genuinely upset and embarrassed and now like we almost can't i don't think anyone thought that you said anything bad i don't think anyone thought that well i don't i don't think so either because it was a normal thing but but almost like if you did fancy him it would be bad for me to be like oh yes if he fancies him that would almost just be strange that's not something i would do just just because the the fear of snaking you

oh my god no no that would just never happen so then the way you went red i was like wait have i done something anyway i don't even know who this person is you could literally walk in the room right now i'd be like i probably yeah if he honestly walked past me right now i would have no idea i don't know his name i don't know what he looks like. Nothing about this person. I don't know anything. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't even know what the podcast is called. Like, I literally know nothing.

That's a spooky tale. Horrific. That is a spooky, gruesome horror. That's a Halloween scare for me. A fright. Jesus Christ. Yeah, God knows what this episode is. All right, well.

Mwahaha. Okay, mwahaha. Bye. Thank you for listening. all right well okay thank you for listening thank you so much no genuinely thanks thanks so much everyone and we'll catch you tomorrow I love it when everyone's interacting

in a really extreme way it's just really nice do you know what I mean I just love a pot over I've really I want to make it clear I've really loved it just I feel like I'm not giving you guys enough so you know anyway so much so much bye bye everyone too much