Goes Without Saying - Here is Your Permission To Rest

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

THE SUMMER BONANZA BEGINS. podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on feeling behind, burnout, craving rest and permission to slow down, self-care and the luxury of being Two Bizarre Girls with a Bizarre Podcast. ✷see more ✷ www.youtube.com/@sephyandwing ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwing ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwingshop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Exploring four seasons of Courage Incorporated with Duncan Sinclair. Join me as we hear courageous and powerful voices. Gun violence issues or like if we're on fire we cannot deal with that stuff. On Dragon's Den they always say to people you're not an entrepreneur. Anyone who have the guts to set up a company that's an entrepreneur. Congress looks very different on the continent of Africa. How are we inviting people with those experiences into the classroom? That's bad management at that institution.

They're turning down an idea. I was going to ask if you were going to take a run at the bank, but we'll look at that for another conversation. Subscribe now to Courage Incorporated wherever you get your podcasts. Goes without saying, our YouTube has dropped finally! We have been filming non-stop, high jinks ensued and now the Sephian Wing cinematic universe is live and ready for you to come and enjoy. There'll be videos all through July and hopefully ongoing as well but come and just see what's

going on. Till the end of time. Yeah. Oh wait, where can they find it? Type in Sephian Wing, guys, you know how to use YouTube. Yeah, and it's also on our Instagram, Sephian Wing. It's also linked below if you need some help. Yeah, yeah.

It's kind of, here is your permission to rest. The end, tunnel. Yeah, truly, that's all that kind needs to be said. Yeah, it's everything you once desired from others. Give it to yourself now. Now. Such a good one. It's a really good one. Where did you even hear that? Um, god fucking knows. It was like a meditation or something wasn't it? Yeah, probably. But it is a bit nuts yeah it's a really embarrassing I heard it and I ran back to you lot and was like Harry you have to hear this

yeah Lizzy's just grabbing some hair oil hey Lizzy Lizzy um she says hi Lizzy do you want to say do you want to say something on the podcast Freya had to say something the other day and she was really embarrassed afterwards that she said hello she said hello guys. What's up guys, just using the JDN hair oil. That's way too much. That's way too much Lizzie. The hair's gonna look really greasy. Oh fucking idiot, she's using hair oil. She just literally filled her palm with it.

I saw the pipette coming back and forth. Yeah great, now everyone's gonna know me as a greasy bitch. This is gonna look really bad. No. It's fine. Okay, don't put any more on, Jesus. Oh my fucking... Bye! See you in a bit. This is gonna look really bad. No. Okay don't put any more on Jesus. Alright, shuffles.

Bye! See you in a bit. Um, sorry what were you saying? Um, nothing. I thought you were. Here is your permission to rest. Yeah, oh that mental quote. Everything you once desired from others, yeah.

Um, okay. Yeah. What? What's so funny? Sorry that just made me laugh laugh like how dumb can you be literally fill your hair with oil it's like first of all that stuff is expensive. that's more I thought what you were saying is like that's enough thank you that's enough. it's just like have you never done your hair before you idiot? like that's gonna look terrible. like don't do that. do not put that on your hair. okay I wouldn't mind some time to rest to be honest. Me too. Me fucking too. You're going on holiday tomorrow.

Well yeah okay so can we be a bit- For some reason I'm living vicariously through you. Well we live kind of um it's a joint life anyway so we might as well. I'm glad we're both getting the energy. But I'm definitely not going on holiday tomorrow so I'm gonna be disappointed. When I wake up tomorrow I'm still here. Well yeah so basically we've pre-recorded these because I'm going on holiday I'm going for a week so we tried to get basically a week's worth of episodes. We've got over a week's worth now which is great. Is this over a week? Wow. This is the eighth one and then we have got that ninth bonus. So true, so true. Because that's, I just feel like so needed.

And then we'll pre-record, cause you're going on holiday the end of the month as well. Yeah, and you're gonna dog sit for me, so thank you so much. You're gonna dog sit, so thank you so much. I'm really excited to dog sit Ozzy. Okay, good. I really am.

He'll be excited as well. He loves to be off. You don't seem to believe me, I don't think. I don't, but, Well, it's not that I don't believe you I just want you to have a good time and I feel the thing of like I just don't want you to have a horrible time. Why would I have a horrible time? You booby trapping the flat. I feel appreciative of the the gesture that I asked you to do. You shouldn't't be. You shouldn't be. Well I am. Of course I am.

Well you shouldn't be because it's literally so nice to come to Bryson for a week. Well I literally am. That would be insane if I wasn't. Oh I don't think you should be at all. Oh okay. I literally think it's mutually beneficial. Like I'm so excited to spend a week with Ozzy and Bryson. That's how I like it. Okay good. I love it.

That's how I like it. It really makes me laugh. Ozzy's so ficklele I really love his personality He doesn't he have a great personality. He does what the other day when was sad I was like, I know exactly what I can say to get her out of it I was like think that you have Ozzy and there's literally no one like him. He's unique. He's one of a kind There is nothing I've never encountered a being with that energy To be frank on really quite a weird energy There is there's nothing like him

So basically the last time my dog set Ozzy he was so good the whole time no bites no anything He was just like snuggling into my legs the whole time which he does He, he really snuggles into me now which I really feel like I've won him over. And then literally just before Wing got back I was just heading out to like, I don't know, get some food or something before Wing got back. And oh no it was, I just walked him, that was it. I was walking, I'd walked Ozzy and as I was coming back in the door, disaster struck, I accidentally trod on his foot and from that moment he attacked. He went into attack mode and I was like back in the door, disaster struck. I accidentally trod on his foot, and from that moment he attacked. He went into attack mode, I was like, Ozzy.

Oh, poor baby. I'm so sorry. And he from that moment saw me as this big stomping giant. And I really wrecked it at the last moment. It was devastating. It's never personal. I think that's the lesson with Ozzy is it is never personal. Never, because then he forgot about it pretty much straight after. But it was was like there were about ten minutes also

it was trying to get his collar off whilst he hates me. oh that's not good. yeah. oh sorry. no I love it I literally love it. okay good. it's kind of a will they won't they it's enemies to lovers going on. it's like he hates me he loves me he hates me he loves, he loves me. we had the biggest enemies to lovers narrative. like i'm sure there are episodes at the beginning of this podcast where i'm like this little rat, this little rat, and then i'm like this little rat that i love. you truly hated him. yeah we had a really.. he would um.. he would really attack me every day of my life. i remember you being like.. and now i literally have his portrait tattooed on me. yeah that's what's crazy because I remember when you first were talking about him, you were like, he's just rude. Like you were like, Jack's got this like rude dog. He really is the rude.

And isn't he so rude? Rude is what he is. He is the rudest little dog ever. But it's kind of like so fun because everything feels like a little win. It really does, yeah. He's the best. He is the best. Okay, so we're just resting and taking the pressure off, which is always nice. That does sound really nice, to be honest.

Yeah, it is needed. I'm really not actually here for a big crazy summer like this. Yeah, that's not really what I want. Like, I really do feel like a restful summer. Sounds incredibly good right now. Okay, so what's on the agenda? I don't know, I really do wanna like, so the first big thing on my agenda was like,

I wanna see my dad, and like, I wanna go to Portugal, sort of thing. Like, I wanna be like in sort of, I wanna be in Lisbon, I wanna be, you know, chilling out in the sun. That does sound really nice in like a very like, Sounds amazing. Sort of family way way see my little sister would be great but I also I want to read a lot I want to I've been napping a lot

really? not not so much this week but when I was in Brighton I was napping napping napping and I really do not nap and I was like this is actually what I want to be able to do like I really I absolutely hate the feeling of like powering through being really tired I really think sleeping God great thing. No it's so true it's like God we don't as humans don't speak enough about the sleeping. We don't. That whole sleeping thing that we need to do I have been definitely powering through recently. Well the fact you got up at 3 in the morning to export a video is absolutely, to be honest,

deranged. Like, I can't believe you did that. What I just thought, I had no choice. It's like, what if it takes hours? I need to... I can't. I'm so sorry that you did that. Like, yeah I know but like, this is what we do. And I hope you know that if I was there in that moment I would have said back to bed. Please back to bed. Yeah I know you would. I know you would and I would have said, I would have shook my head and said I'm not listening to you. You're not in your right mind, go to sleep. I would have said, no I would have said, um, Sefi what god, if I woken you up, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I can't believe I've woken you up. That's what I would have said. I would have been devastated that you were awake.

It actually would have been, that's the exact thing that it would have been. Yeah, I would have said, oh my god, please, I'm so sorry, I've stressed you out, please go back to bed, I'm so sorry, I've woken you up. Let me handle it, please, please, please. And then I would have been like, what? Huh, you're nuts, like you're not too mad. You would have said, what? Huh, you're nuts. Like, you're actually mad.

You would have said, you're mad, you're mad. And I would say, I know, but this needs to happen. This is the way it goes. Yeah, that is, and then I would have gone, okay, well, I'm off to bed. Yeah, no, as you should, as you should. I am looking forward to a sleep. And I am looking forward to a holiday at And I am looking forward to a holiday

at the end of the month. And I also, I want to, I feel like I need to have a bit of a dumping of my brain. I almost feel like this month is like, I'm in it, I'm in the chaos, da da da da da. And almost like the next few weeks in the lead up to when I go away I really want when I'm on holiday to kind of turn my mind off and then be able to come

back feeling really refreshed because I feel like I've just been a bit out of whack for honestly the past like three years so I just want to get in or even the past like year or something I don't know I feel like I just need to get back into a swing of like feeling really on on it and confident in myself in my life. And really active in my life. And you think rest is what's needed there? 100%. Because at the moment it's like, okay, if I'm not filming, now you've gone so I'm not filming, but then I'm recording. And if I'm not recording, I'm editing the podcast. And if I'm not editing the podcast it's the YouTube. It's been constant.

Just before July started I was like we need to have a break like we actually do need to have a break but the disaster of things is we've just signed up to do a month so we literally can't and I do think we do need a break which is exactly why we've pre-orded this stuff, so that essentially what you're listening to now, hopefully, will be resting, but then it's the horrific thing of you'll be editing. Well, I don't really feel, to be honest,

when I'm in this, I don't, even now, I don't really feel the need to have a break. I just feel the need to kind of catch back up and feel on top of things. I feel like when I'm on top of things, I could go go and go. Like I don't need a break really from this and I do it kind of in the tampon all the way in way unless something comes up where it's like eek, we need a break. We're not available right now there's something I'm getting a call from the pits let's dip out quickly. Generally speaking touching wood I feel good the more I do I feel better I do

I'm consistently doing a lot for a long time now like we haven't had a break in couple years like a year maybe I don't know but I feel like if we pre-recorded we wouldn't really need one no we would know we don't need one we absolutely don't there's no need to but I am feeling the awareness of like just almost like remember I said to you the other day of like my thoughts but like you're processing stuff in life like life is just so fucking confusing and weird and shit like at times processing stuff and like almost because we do two a week it's like which also is not a lot of like actually like hours to work obviously. And the biggest luxury ever. It truly is but almost it's

like my brain I'm speaking about the things on the Tuesday that I still haven't even processed and then by the time that I'm processed that stuff I'm speaking about the stuff sorry on Thursday and the Monday like it's just I'm speaking about stuff before I've even understood it in my own mind, like I can't keep up with the shit that I'm saying, and I just feel like that's the sign of like, right, okay, so a week in Lisbon, for example, summer of rest and relaxation, it will be really nice, just feels really nice to be like, okay, so I don't need to formulate any thoughts for a week, like it's not the actual day to day of anything it's just like having

to think about like what do I think and like what do I I don't know as much as they say like oh yeah we say things all the time we disagree on with on here would be nice to be like it would just be nice to catch up with my own brain basically. Almost like your mouth is moving before your brain has. Totally yeah that's what it feels like or just like I'm not, um, I just need some, I think I just literally need a week of not having to formulate anything. Yeah, totally. Exploring four seasons of Courage Incorporated with Duncan Sinclair. Join me as we hear courageous and powerful voices. Gun violence issues or or like if we're on fire,

we cannot deal with that stuff. On Dragons Den, they always say to people, you're not an entrepreneur. Anyone who have the guts to set up a company, that's an entrepreneur. Congress looks very different on the continent of Africa. How are we inviting people with those experiences into the classroom?

That's bad management at that institution. They're turning down an idea. I was gonna down if you were gonna take a run at the bank Subscribe now to courage incorporated wherever you get your podcasts. I Really yeah, I really get it I What is yeah, What is something that, what does rest look like for you? I think I'm still working it out to be honest because I think I've always thought,

you know, you're resting if you're watching TV, you're resting if you're lying in bed just scrolling on your phone, whatever. You're resting if you're seeing your friends. That's a restful, nice thing. Or even more luxurious. Swimming in the sea, resting, like all this stuff. It's like actually they can be restorative but maybe not restful at the same time, which maybe... I don't know if those things actually are synonyms, like

that could have been a dumb sentence, but like I feel like those things are like good for the soul, but I don't necessarily come out of them feeling like, oh I like, I feel like true... oh god sorry I nearly threw a pen at you through the screen. Almost like the feeling that you have post-sleeping if like okay so I rested, I recuperated throughout that night, the only things that really give me that feeling in life are like eating something, like restoring my energy of like eating. Sometimes I can get it from a meditation, especially this thing. I've discovered this thing called Yoga Nidra. Have you heard of that before? It shouldn't be called that because it's not yoga in any

way. It's just lying on your back and like shutting your mind off. It's like, it's a meditation basically. Well then I have heard of it. I do it all the time. You love it. It's your favourite thing. Like, yeah, it's my, that's actually my favourite thing. It's a meditation basically. Well then I have heard of it, I do it all the time. You love it, it's your favourite thing. Yeah, that's actually my day to day. It's just literally lying down. If you just type in yoga nidra, it's like the weirdest thing and it really gives that feeling of almost like a nap. It's like the feeling of you really shut off

in a way that I've not really ever had from a different kind of meditation. You just lie down and someone guides you through and it's like you focus on your thumb, your like the go through all your fingers, your forearm, and it goes through every like minute part of your body and it's almost like Jesus Christ I didn't know there were this many parts of my body and it like is almost like sort of like your body shutting off like one by one. Like a real body scan. one by one by one by one. But it's like I've done body scan meditation before but this one just hits really weirdly differently and those I think are really good for that feeling of like I just need to get my energy

up again. I can't really explain it but that's really one like if you're feeling that thing of like burnout and just like almost not in your body which I feel like is one of the signs that I'm feeling really burnt out. This yoga nidra thing. When I've tried it, I'm like, I'm into it. It's definitely like hundreds and hundreds and thousands of years old, they're onto something. Well, they really bloody are. There's something, I'm liking it.

Good, that sounds, yeah. I feel like literally just laying down and intentionally taking, honestly just intentionally being like, I'm just gonna breathe for two minutes. You can go in and come out in a totally different mindset. Honestly so much of just being human is about the awareness of your breathing. A weird amount of it is actually. It is actually weird. It is really weird.

That was a bit simple. Like, okay. Yeah, literally. What about you? Is there anything that you feel that really relaxes you? Other than like the obvious? Because I feel like I just said obvious shit. Yeah. Well I was going to say what you did. Or just like sleep and eat. It's like yeah okay, diaprine. No, but I think that is it. And I think those are the first things to go. That it's like when you're trying to kind of get to the bottom of your to-do list the first things i'll dish out is oh i don't need to sleep for example literally i'll literally be like i don't need i i need more hours therefore i will cut them from my sleeping time like i need i don't have enough hours in the day to complete this

thing so i will i'll steal some from my sleep. i hate it god i hate that you did that about the video that's what gets me it's like but i had to but you know that if i was awake at three in the morning i would have been saying i don't care forget it yeah but that's bad advice then the video would have been late or it wouldn't have gone out but you're the priority let's remember this and everyone here agrees uh yes everyone agrees wing sleep is a priority to all of us my sleep is a priority but also my happiness is also a priority and I'm gonna get happiness from sleep, true, but I'm also gonna get happiness from the video going up and everyone feeling good in it and stuff, you know, people sitting like, do you know what I mean? Things running

smoothly. That responsibility of mine being executed properly, that outweighs everything in that moment. I get it, I get it, but I just know that I would be forcing you back into your bed. I'd be slipping you sleeping. I know you would and I'd be pushing you off. We'd get in a scrap. I'd be like, no fucking way. I would literally be like, I have to.

Well I'd, you know. You know how I feel about that. We're slipping into each other's eyes. I know, I know. But it worked out and it paid off. But now you're tired. Which is a dangerous, I am tired but oh look, if I get a it worked out and it paid off but no time which is a dangerous I am tired but if I get a bit tired here and they're doing literally the most fun

thing in the world then so much you can't have an early night tonight because of fucking house the dragon oh my god I've been so looking forward to it tomorrow oh my god I need to get an early night sleep because um i've got a plane tomorrow which is at 3pm but still need an early night sleep. no that's perfect. and it's like fuck i can't because house of the dragon. oh my god my dream evening. it's so perfect isn't it. i'm gonna edit tomorrow's episode and then house of the dragon and then fall asleep like the happiest little girl. wow. well in advance thank you so much for editing and putting that into your um.. thank you so much. into your routine. no thank you so much. i really like i think as well i feel um it's not rest but i feel good when i feel like I'm not behind. Totally yeah I get that. The idea of being behind is horrendous. That's what stresses me. Jesus Christ. Yeah that's the thing that I

find really really difficult when I'm moving through getting things done and like literally loving every freaking second of it it's the time it literally the time of my life yeah and yeah I don don't know, I just, I want to, yeah, I just, yeah, I love it. Kind of more, more, more. Yeah, no, I do get that. And that's also why we love to do these weird every day of the month sort of situations because it's the tampon all the way in analogy. Which I think we really operate within, like, as much as I'm saying, oh, I would love a

break. It's like, I would love a break so that i can do every day of the month yeah so that you can come back yeah be really strong, it's almost, it's so that we can do this sort of insane, insane to be honest i will say absolutely insane output like i'm not seeing, i just don't see other people doing that amount of output, it's absolutely mental to me. But I think that's how we operate best, that's when we are best. And that's what I want to be doing. So it's like I would love to feel really rested before we go really into it. But by the time you're hearing this it will feel like we're really into it. So that will kind of make no sense.

Oh yeah, we're way into it. We're well into it by this point. Yeah, we're well into it by this point. Yeah we're well into it now. I wanted to ask, when do you feel the pressure almost that you can't rest? Oh my god horrendous. Do you know what I mean? You know when it feels like you're really suffocated by the things that you need to do? Not enough hours in the day sort of thing. It really is, it's not enough hours in the day and suddenly you're like trapped in your to-do list and you're so claustrophobic in it and it really, like so many times i've been in that thing where it's like shit, they're actually, i don't know if there is a way out, like i might have to, i'm gonna lose some things here, like things are gonna have to drop. you can't like juggle everything

sort of thing. it's such a horrendous feeling. I feel like I've felt that so many times in life, but because our lives at the moment feel really luxurious time-wise, I feel like I have a really... A free schedule. Yeah, I feel like I live a really luxurious... the time in my life is really luxurious. I can almost... I don't have times that I have to be up, times that I have to have my bum in a certain chair and looking at a screen and those times I really can. For example, it's like, okay, so today I pushed it back. We were going to do the morning. I said, could you do the-

You did, yeah. We filmed a little video that we had to do in the morning and then it was like, okay, can we do the evening? And I can- Later, yeah. Move things around within reason as long as it works with your schedule and that is one of the things that I value so much like I really do not undervalue that aspect of having a podcast like being a podcaster or like whatever the fuck these new jobs are in the world I do think that is one of the hugest advantages of them. 100% it's such a luxury. It truly is and like that's

I think that's the biggest one that I never ever ever take for granted because 100% it's such a luxury. It truly is. It's fucking mental. I think that's the biggest one that I never ever ever take for granted because that's when I have been in 9-5 jobs like I think the question you asked brings me back to a certain time when I was working in an office 9-5 and I felt like I couldn't catch up with myself like I was always going to bed tired hadn't seen fucking daylight had had eaten a dinner that I didn't you know just shoveled something down and like then got up shoveled something down again got into my bum into a chair stared at a screen shoveled something down at lunch like I really and like is what we're talking about these my five to nine after my nine to fives it's like

trying to squeeze in time or like time for yourself within like the small amount that you have in the evening but being too tired to do anything meaningful in those hours and then feeling guilty and then going back and feeling like really just doing the rinse and repeat same thing again and I felt so I think it's particularly because I didn't like that job and I really I think I was kind of you know it was just really unfulfilling work so that didn't help but I really felt the awareness of like my routine squishing me down like not having enough hours and I really think that that is what doing this makes me just feel so like all the jobs I've done like that make me feel just like so grateful for the amount of so much

so we don't have so many I don't know there's you give and take certain things with every Thing that you do, but that is one of the things that I'm literally like I am so fucking grateful for that aspect of this Literally and that's why it's like look if I have to get up at three in the morning Every night for the rest of my life. Honestly, I would do it just to keep doing this thing. Well hopefully you don't have to though because that's absolutely insane. No and I won't have to do it and that was just like, look, it's just a state of whatever. But it kind of is that thing of we will just never ever ever ever ever take for granted the fact that we get to do this.

And it's like, in my mind because me and my boyfriend were talking about it recently but I've also spoken about it with you, of like, my grandparents couldn't read or write. And now I am a podcaster. My grandma, my nan used to eat her fingernails because she was a starving child. That's the one that always gets me eats the fingernails. That's like, oh my goodness.

Eating her fingernails, because she was so, this most amazing woman on the planet, eating her fingernails. And it's like, yeah, okay, podcaster is not maybe, I don't know if I'm holding up your legacy, but I will absolutely take advantage and be so excited every single day at the thought of getting to do something like this. And it's like, yeah, catch me at 3 a.m.

doing what I need to do. Catch me literally loving every freaking second, even when it's a bit like, oh, I feel a bit insecure in this space. It's like you know what I can fucking handle it and I love it. Yeah 100%. It's amazing. And also I think it's the awareness of it being really bizarre as well. Like it's a new medium. Totally. It's really fucking weird. Like it is so... A bizarre medium for two bizarre girls as well. it's really quite weird really quite a weird thing to be doing. i think i feel the pressure most when it's like when i'm behind and i feel like i'm um almost letting people down or letting myself down. that's bad.

i hate that feeling but i just really want to like extend a hand. i'm reaching out. yeah we're reaching through the microphones now. to say even if you don't want us to it's like oh oh. well she's stroking your hair. i'm stroking your hair. just to say you're alright. you're fine. no one's annoyed and if they are fuck them you'll be okay. and everything you once desired from others give it to yourself now. yeah and even if literally 30 seconds is all you have today to like be quiet and still and just breathe for a sec and then get back to it, please, please, please know that that is the reminder that we're giving you that you deserve that time and more.

And we really feel you and we're there for you. And also kind of life really flows. Like I, there have been so many times, also I feel like the worst thing, when you're in that stage, it feels so hopeless where it's like I haven't, I can't remember the last time I took those 30 seconds. It's so horrific when it's like I actually am lost within my lack of time and like my burnout and just like how stressed I am right now. I feel like just remember that it does change.

Yeah, your life will go on beyond this. Yeah, it really does like and it doesn't have to change in a huge dramatic way that you had no time and now suddenly you have all the time that you fucking want. You will have time back again. You just totally will and it just there are just times where it is so overwhelming. And if you want to make a change in your life, you actually fucking can. Yeah, and if you're in not a great point right now that doesn't mean you're gonna be a not a great point forever it really does deserve to be in a better spot and I believe in you yeah so much actually more than anything maybe you can do it all right cool

summer summer summer loving these actually. Huh? Loving these. I'm really loving it.