Goes Without Saying - HORROR STORIES: he didn’t tell me his ex was famous…

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

SEPHY & WING'S HORROR STORIES, CHAPTER 1 ✷ ✷ ✷ podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on famous exes, andrew garfield's chicken shop date, break-up loyalties in friendship groups, insecurity in the early dating stage, red flags, and liquid luck. ✷see more ✷ www.youtube.com/@sephyandwing ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwing ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwingshop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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essentially been making his ex money. Oh my god you kind of have. I will not be a whoa whoa hello hello how's it going good are you ready for some horror stories I'm so excited for some horror stories honestly big time like I've just had a little preview we were just sort of going through some of the things you guys have said and I personally am quite shocked like I feel like these are some of the craziest ones. Ever. Yeah, that I have in my memory anyway. We asked on Instagram as always for this week specifically your horror stories, dating horror stories

and they are atrocious. Insane. Like. They are insane. It's almost like just when you think men can't get any more terrible, they just somehow do it. it's like wait what the fuck am i reading? i'm so excited for these. so basically the concept of horror stories, guys we were umming and ah-ing about this for a while. like what did we want this series to be? what did we want to do with this? and i don't know why we've never done this before. no because also our last spooky week

we've done spooky week a few years in a row now. podtober even. yeah podtober. what was that? bonanza. the spooktacular we've had a few names. we've had a few runs at october. yeah it's been a few weird things but we sort of have always done like sort of ghouls witches like we've done sort of creepy themes. yeah this just sort of works doesn't it? horror stories. i'm so excited. yeah we're gonna go it's full pod mother energy i feel like. totally. yeah. i feel like this is what the people want. this is what i- as the people this is what i want. same. i also- weirdly it feels really like vintage sephian wing. Yeah it really does. We don't do this sort of thing.

We actually don't. I wish we did. Talk about dating enough. We're silly. We're dumb. We're actually dumb. We are a bit. We are a bit.

Okay so well this week we're really going in for the Holy Trinity, the golden trio of horror stories. This is the first chapter. You've unlocked it. Did everyone like your spooky entry? Yeah the spooky second wing intro. spooky music. spooky. wait I can't hear our music how would you do it? can you do our music? no I find our intro similar to the Sex and the City theme tune in that you cannot sing it. you can't picture it. you cannot replicate that without hearing it it's almost like dumb dumb dumb but that's not it. but it's like... I don't know what it is. you can't do it. it's like... but that is not it in any way. when we first heard our music which by the way is just like a

free YouTube sound and this Halloween version is just like a free YouTube sound, and this Halloween version is just the same thing but just pitched right down. With just a slightly little... Make it spooky. Every now and then. But I remember when we first heard it we were like, that's it. It's kind of masculine and feminine at the same time. I find it...

It's... what? It's kind of... when I was listening to it deeper, of when I was listening to it deeper like when I was listening to it turned down I was thinking I do kind of like the deeper more basic. Maybe let's pitch it down Yeah, but it's a bit weird to like of what our balls dropped like Turn into my late 20s have a lower down. We have a lower theme now. It just gets lower and lower every year. When I hear the normal one I'm like, God, Alvin and the Chipmunks.

It's the Chipmunk version. It feels like that. It's a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. Okay, are we ready? Yeah. No, do you have something? You want to get off your chest? No, not at all.

Okay, so we really didn't know where to start with these because they're all so mental. Like actually mental. Yeah. This one, if it's the one that I think it's gonna be, this just knocked my socks off. Also just thank you to everyone who sent messages and stuff like, and just generally always, like if we just reflect on just the whole year and the whole life of the podcast in general, Thank you so much. Thank you so much and specifically thank you for the people that have written in this and I'm so sorry all of this happened to you. Goes without saying. Like it's insane. And also what an honour it is, just quickly, just how many, just another crux, just to begin. How much of a luxury it is to get people's insides. like when you message us like confidential stuff yeah it's kind of trustworthy. yeah. as in you think we're

trustworthy. we're not. joking. we are trustworthy-ish. we are. generally i would say so. yeah we are. the people right in knowing it's gonna get feed like that's the whole thing. yeah well there's the point. yeah all right fine. yeah right. so this person said hi. okay so basically this is quite a long one. So I'm gonna I want to do it justice But yeah, I'm gonna you know, make sure I hit the main points Okay, so this person said I'm actually this guy on hinge who seemed great showed up at the bar in a full tuxedo who seemed great showed up at the bar in a full tuxedo. I actually, almost, can we do this in parts?

This is the first sentence. I think we need to break this into parts. Break this down. Because it gets so crazy, this story, that that detail will get lost by the end. Oh yeah, this is kind of irrelevant. The fact he showed up in a tuxedo. In a full tuxedo. I don't think I've ever really seen someone in a tuxedo in the flesh.

No, I don't think I have either. That is something I've seen photos of and I've seen it in films. I actually don't think I've ever stood next to a man in a tuxedo. I've heard about the tuxedo. I've never seen it. Well, when I was younger, I didn't really know the difference between a suit and a tuxedo, so I would always just be like, I like your tuxedo. Maybe still I don't know.

Like almost if I'm wearing a blazer, it's like, oh, I like your tuxedo. Yeah, like I like your tuxedo. Maybe still I don't know. Like almost if I'm wearing a blazer it's like oh I like your tuxedo. You're like I like your tux. Quite bad. Yeah it's a bit of a tux. Okay this guy turns up in a tuxedo and out of the tuxedo jacket she says he starts pulling out little jars and mixing his drink saying things like this one's for confidence this one one's for luck. He's a mixologist of the mind in quotations who thinks his drinks will make people like him more. Okay, I'm a bit lost for words actually. So run away. So run away. Okay, he's shown up in a hut with millions of bottles of drink. So he's the potions master. yeah he's Snape. that we know from the Snape stores. yeah yeah. he has. towards the end of the day he says he needs to introduce me to someone important before we can move forward.

for whatever reason i'm like okay we get to his place and he brings out dot dot dot a ventriloquist dummy that he calls his spiritual advisor. I'm dying. He seriously asks me to leave the room so that they can discuss if I have the right energy. I ran home so fast and then I get a text saying the advisor felt like you were a bit closed off. No, no, I... Sorry, okay. Okay, no, that's actually gone a bit too far for my liking. It's actually like a hilarious bit, like it's a, it's an insane joke to pull. In a way is he a comedy genius. It's really funny. But also I do think that's scary to be in a house of, that you go, what, so first of all, what are you, I'm think that's scary to be in a house that you go... So first of all, what are you... I'm sorry to you, but why the hell did you go back to this guy's house?

We got a lot of messages that somewhere in there, they're like, I did this and I can't explain it. Like, and I ended up... Like, don't judge me. Yeah, don't judge me. And almost like someone was like, naturally, I did the dumb thing of blah, blah, blah. And it's like, yeah, I guess we just do sometimes. But ventriloquist dummy.

Take a moment for the image of, okay, so you've for some reason gone back with this guy that's wearing a tux and has like mixed. We haven't even touched on the fact that he mixed his drinks to give him confidence. Liquid lark. Felix Felicis or whatever the fuck he's called. So wait so he's okay let's actually go through this bit by bit. Yeah. He's a mixologist of the mind. What does that mean? I mean it's giving a it's giving a drug angle to be like I'm just gonna mix this into my drink and it makes people like me more. But then you didn't drink anything that he had given you. Anything he's consumed.

Anything this mixologist has mixed for you. To go back to their house and they have a ventriloquist dummy. I've never seen a ventriloquist dummy before. Forget the tux. The ventriloquist is like, God, we're two for two. So true.

I'm seeing a whole new world with this guy. I'm being introduced to so many new things. Is the spiritual advisor the dummy? The dummy. And he says, and he's chatting with the dummy about her and then being like, could you actually just give us some privacy while we disrupt your energy? So in a way this is sad, like he, this is a guy with like serious mental issues I assume, like he obviously is not doing well in life. Like this is someone that that's but also I think this is someone that shouldn't be around women like this is a scary person. it's actually yeah it does sound nuts but I would love to know the difference between the profile and the person who showed up. 100% was the

spiritual advisor in any of the photos? so true. this is my spiritual advisor, imagine. So weird. Also, do you know what would be the biggest ick of all time? Not that this whole situation isn't like beyond ick. It's like red flag terrifying situation. The voice he would do for the dummy. Oh my god. Like imagine. He's like, this is what talks to my spiritual advisor.

I don't really like her i think her energy is off it's like what is crazy crazy like trying not to move his mouth when he's doing the dummy's voice i didn't even think of the fact that he would be doing a thing for the dummy yes like a show he's going like this is my friend nice to meet you oh my god I almost think for the sake of it you have to see them again them the two of them you have to see him and his dummy again obviously don't I need to be safe but I think you should steer clear to be honest it's nuts but I do know what you mean if I do kind of want to know where that goes. i want to know more about this person. also so what did the dummy say about her? the spiritual advisor? that the energy was

off. she had a closed off energy. the energy was off? you can say that again. he didn't miss her. at least he's right. the energy is so off. yeah but with her it's rude. yeah no i'm sure her energy was off. oh my. I mean, personally, my energy would probably be quite off if I just walked into that. It's such, we were actually, we had a really interesting conversation with somebody recently where we were talking about, they make TikTok videos and they were talking about how they speak about their dating,

their real life dating experiences, how they transfer that onto, like into their videos. Yeah. And something like this is just like, that you are sitting on a gold mine like yeah this story will sustain you for years like you will live off of this story for a hundred years to come so I think do it to keep it going one like this like also that conversation was interesting because we were talking about if you actually if you talk about dating publicly which i don't know this girl kind of did there's a weird

but there comes a point where you have to sort of decide like okay so i do kind of like this person even though there were like crazy stories on that date and she had like a specific example of like i'm not gonna say it because it's her story to tell. She's chosen not to say. That would be so funny. She decided not to say it and we're like, I'll have it. You can't cash in. I'll cash in. But we can. What an amazing story. Something crazy happened on a date.

She couldn't tell it because it's like, oh, I actually like the guy, like I respect the guy, blah, blah, blah, it's unfair for me to tell it. Even though she's got the TikTok brain, she knows that will go viral. Yeah. It's devastating. It's a good story.

Or it's just, it's one of those things that this doesn't happen, this never happens. And turning up on a date with a ventriloquist dummy. Or like, you're not on a date with a ventriloquist dummy but the ventriloquist dummy is the wingman. That never happens! That is so crazy. You went on a date with a guy in a tux putting potions in his drinks that then had a ventriloquist dummy. it's actually really scary when you say it like that it becomes really scary. that's actually so bad. okay strip the humor out of it now. i'm actually a bit worried.

like i'm actually a bit like- to be at their house. yeah no that's not a good place to be actually. i think we maybe need to be- let's look i think there are two major red flags there before that third major hard hitter comes in of the dummy Yeah, the drink the potions in the drinks. I think is maybe tux is like, okay cool. Whatever. He's dressed up. He's made now It's giving Haley and Justin Bieber he's come as Haley for the night. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's like look, okay, he's he's He's dressed up. Yeah to the nines. But to bring your own drinks like I do think is quite weird. Well, he's brought something to put in the drinks I watched it out of work He doesn't say what they are. So one was to give him confidence though. Yeah and luck Oh, so he literally is having liquid luck

slughorn liquid lard. Professor Slughorn has given him a little something something. A little something to take the edge off. I don't that's the bit that I don't like most of all. It kind of gives you know what it reminds me of and this is like really sick to say and like really twisted and actually just not fair. We had a conversation recently and I would love to know what you guys think about this about Andrew Garfield and Amelia Demoldoldenburg. I love this conversation. You know there's nuance there because I do really like him. I think he's really beautiful.

He's definitely beautiful and so is she. Yeah so is she. We were talking about, remember when we had that conversation guys, all of us, about weaponising wellness. Now it's not to say that this ventriloquist guy is weaponizing wellness but it does give the vibe of I'm almost getting a bit of a Mataheeley vibe and that's why I say the Andrew Garfield thing. Oh god I'm not getting that at all. Which is almost you've turned up in a tuxedo and you're the mixologist in your mind and like you have your ventriloquist down. It's a bit like your kind of performance art. It's like you get out

your typewriter. It's typewriter who uses typewriter anyway vibes. But there's definitely an add- I think I don't like the magic element of it like it's definitely something giving magician about it all. It's so magician which is, and I don't trust a magician. Famously, famously a terrible vibe. But you always say I'm like the magician tarot card. I think it is different for a girl. I'm not gonna lie Okay, like I think also you're giving magician Your Darren Brown over there, yeah, I mean that is we were saying the other day we want to go see Darren Brown I don't know if he's still performing. So much like almost can he just do a bit for us?

Genuinely. Like why does he mean so much? So much. It's so cool. Darren Brown. I remember McLeaks, my psychology teacher would sometimes let us watch Darren Brown. It's like she obviously just loved him. Fair enough. Miss Weeks. Miss Weeks. Darren Brown. Magician is a bad vibe. But the Andrew Garfield thing. I think just what bugged me about that was like, I mean it's a great interview, like they're flirting is yeah, like everything blah blah blah. But I really really really don't like, I appreciate that about you.

You're funny, I appreciate that. I hate that language. To me that's like 10 degrees off of wearing your tuxedo to the first day. yeah totally. there's something about it that is like you're a bit up your own arse. which is fine. it's eww. yeah. and the thing that I really really really did not like is and this has been the thing that I think people have spoken about most about that interview or that date whatever is that whatever. to use a meepiest l as lingo yeah I'll honor it yeah um

because she's a queen yeah the thing of being like oh so he really saw her he saw what she was doing he saw through her thing and it's like sorry like always and then it disarmed her her not knowing what to do it's like no it didn't. It's really frustrating that she is coming in really as like a pioneer in that space. Yeah. Created something really really innovative and unique to her. Yeah. To give all of the credit of the way that that interview date went. He saw it.

As him seeing through what she was doing rather than her setting him up. Breaking it on purpose. To be able to perform. Right. Yeah. Breaking it on purpose. Right. Yeah. She's just as much of a performer as he is. This is her creation.

She has so much power in that. It doesn't take a genius to see when she slips in between the character and her. It's not him, oh I'm going to call it out. There was something quite like, negging about it as well when he was like, he said something like, oh I don't know, there was some, just there was like a neggingy moment that I was like, I really don't like that,

when he was like, oh, is it just because you're not really dating anyone that people don't see you out with? I just- Yeah, she was like, I'm private too, you've never seen me dating anyone. And he was like, is it just because there's no one. And he was like, that doesn't mean you're not necessarily,

that doesn't mean you're date, that doesn't mean you're private, it just means you might not be dating anyone. I saw quite a few- Little flags. there actually to be honest like in the way that the matihealy one and all of the other ones that like so there's like a sexual energy at the forefront the jack harlow one as well that's like very present the this one andrew garfield one there was definitely like it was flirting in this like, sort of arguing-y, passive-aggressive-y and like, but also like, I'm really gonna see you, like I'm gonna call you out on your thing

and I think that's gonna disarm you. I am looking down from above at what you are doing. And I do think like, a bit of that is interesting, like there were some great moments, but... I love the moment, sorry, where they say, do do you think we actually we probably would have gone on a date if we hadn't have done this whole bit and put the cat and like done a chicken shop date and if we haven't done this that's probably interrupted. That's still looking down without doing the thing of like it brings the meta angle but it's it's leveling it's meta but it's leveling it's not you're here Amelia and I'm looking down on you watching what you're doing. I'm such a smart actor to be honest that I can just like see through

What you're doing and all these other dates haven't been able to it's like mate. Yeah whole premise of the show idiot Mmm. I actually do kind of I don't know. I've always had good vibes from him I do I liked him crying at that modern love thing blah blah blah blah I love him like a lot of things but that really gave me the vibe of like oh my god avoid avoid avoid This guy's a bit weird. I think that's like he's gonna. Yeah, he's gonna get the dummy out It gives me the vibe of like there. There's such a power imbalance there. I think for a lot of people watching it, it's quite subtle in the way that we look at them and it's like two people who are like,

yeah, they're both famous, whatever. Or like, yeah, like she could get him, whatever. But I hate when a man is like rewarded for the bare minimum. I love Andrew Garfield so much and I don't think he is being rewarded for the bare minimum but I do find it interesting how like when some guy just shows up and like says a few funny things He says I'd appreciate I appreciate that. Oh

My god, wow, he appreciates that I Don't like let's not forget. I'm the smart one here. That's all I'm saying. Let's not forget. Let's not forget that you are I Don't know you're not irrelevant.'re the amazing spider man i think i don't know i'd really really really hate the language i appreciate yeah it's like what do you mean what do you mean what do you appreciate about me being funny could you actually expand on that point? who are you entitled to like make judgments judge my comedy of me even though it's compliments like I think people I think people might struggle with this I think they might find it hard to get on board get with where we're going that's also

fine no it is fine I just wish I had you didn't watch that TikTok that I sent you the other week did you oh my god no I'm really good I haven't seen it just the first even ten seconds of it are really good I'll watch it as soon as we're done which is useless for this. Okay, so there's a word. There's a word in it that she introduces me to. Basically I sent this TikTok to Sefi the other day as you can hear she didn't watch it. It's fine. Oh, but I will. I will. I will. No, no, no, I know. I know. No, but I only sent it. Yeah, I wouldn't send you just any old thing. I just really thought the first 10 seconds were a big... No, I know. And also, I take it seriously. I take it seriously. Trust me. It just got lost. We started a new combo and it got lost. As we do. But it's stuck in my mind and I, annoyingly, I might actually just have to quickly find it so I can say the word because there's actually no point in me having this

full-on conversation without saying the word that this whole thing is based on. Right, so basically, oh you know what, I'll say the person as well. Just be really, really good. Her name's Ruby Klein. What? Ruby Klein. Ruby Klein. It's her thing on TikTok, conversations with Ruby.

Lovely, cool. Nice. Okay, I sent this to Sefi because it was so groundbreaking and now I will deliver it worse to you. Basically, why I sent it to you is because the conversation is something we have all the time, but she put a word to it it which just changed everything I thought and also And I've immediately forgotten the word

Sorry, it is worth it. Okay, I've got it. I just don't want to fuck up Okay, so but and it becomes quite meta because basically the word is Epistemic injustice. Do you know this? Oh The word is epistemic injustice. Do you know this word? Oh, okay. Okay. Tell me more, tell me more. Like, don't you ever care.

So, you really, you really should. I really would urge you all to go and watch this TikTok because she just summarizes it really well in like 30 seconds, it's beautiful and it's not gonna be anything quite like what's gonna happen here. Yeah. Can't crash.

So, epistemic injustice, it caught me because it was a reaction to a comment that they had on TikTok and the comment said, is gossip feminist? So immediately I thought, that's interesting. Intriguing. Intriguing. And then, so she says, Ruby says, like yes, whatever, because as a woman you are a victim of something called epistemic injustice which is basically like when we are living and when we are talking in our

lives we are pulling from our pools of knowledge so for example and the example that she uses is it is cold today you're using it is cold today you're comparing you know it's colder than it was yesterday I am you know you're pulling on your ideas of temperature and coldness you're comparing, you know, it's colder than it was yesterday, you're pulling on your ideas of temperature and coldness, you're pulling on your ideas of today, it's today, it's not night, that sort of thing. So you're able to talk about the things that you have access to through the knowledge of the words. Epistemic injustice proposes this idea or talks about this idea of how for example we might be having a conversation and be like hmm you know what before we've even had a conversation

I might we're together somewhere and I think God this guy you know Charlie's being a bit weird Charlie's being a bit weird and we're like hmm getting a bit fired from Charlie but like hmm it's probably nothing is whatever. God what's he done? What has he done? And then me and you have a conversation and you say, oh, did you know Charlie was screaming at his girlfriend the other night? And they broke up. Yeah, oh my god, Charlie, he bit my finger. Charlie and he bit your finger, oh my god.

So now we're learning, we're getting all of this new information, this new knowledge about Charlie and we're using that to feed into our idea of Charlie. And we start to be able to through the gossip put words to things that wouldn't have had meaning or wouldn't have been able to articulate without these private conversations between women. So you might have interactions with people, you might experience things in life, you might have an interaction with a man, you think that's just a bit off but you can't quite put into words what is off about it.

Because our society and our English language doesn't have vocab for these experiences. The experience, yeah. We don't have a lot of vocabulary that women need. And so gossip allows us, and why gossip comes into it is because she was saying that it encourages women to have private conversations where they start building up broader pools of knowledge on situations and people and experiences to give them new ways to verbalize the things that they've been through and it kind of keeps them safe as well. But I thought that was very interesting. Epistemic injustice, the fact that there is not language to be able to articulate so many things that we go through across gender, race, class, like all the things that, one, function to keep you in your place, and two,

really like emotionally manipulate you into not being able to express your discomfort or distress or anger or frustration in a situation. And I just loved that term, epistemic injustice. I love that. Of language as well, fascinating. Also even just the word gossip is so gendered and also like why is women talking? If gossip is what you just described as of women learning through other women's experiences

and to be honest, having a conversation. Keeping themselves and their friends safe by sharing information. That is essentially what so much of it is, especially when it comes down to talking about sex or dating and things like that. For example, this tux situation that we're talking about now, is it surprising that the main crux that it's come back to is it doesn't feel safe, it feels like a red flag linking to Andrew Garfield in that thing was really undermining of her, yet it's come back to is it doesn't feel safe, it feels like a red flag, linking to Andrew Garfield in that thing was really undermining of her, yet it's been posed as really romantic and stunning whilst it kind of is in places, but I would avoid him, it's my bottom line there. All of this stuff

really does come down to like men undermining you, feeling safe, keeping your friends safe, getting out of dangerous situations, getting out of dangerous situations, getting out of weird situations, blah blah blah blah. Yeah, it is labelled as gossip, trivialising the whole thing. Right, because we don't live in a society where we have words for things that women experience. Yeah. We just, we've, no one's ever bothered to come up with-

Which is why we just found it- Yeah, which is why we found it it so difficult to actually... We can't even articulate what it was. So much of it is like not a tangible... it's not worded, it's not verbal. It's a feeling. Intriguing, hey. And I'm sure the energy was off when this person met the ventriloquist guy. For sure. So much of a feeling.

And look, at least the dummy knew it. I also think there's something to be said about like a man can go on a date and meet someone for the first time and he can wear a tux and he can do like a tuxedo bit and he can have a ventriloquist dummy bit and he can try all these things out and be stupid. And then in two years time, he's like, oh, you know, I'm in a serious relationship now

and blah, blah, blah. I just had that thing where I was like an artist or whatever. I don't know why I'm like really placing him as like a performance artist artist but it does feel like someone he's almost like he's a bit of a poet and like good okay so I see a bit Chandler Bing like oh my god you're saying it's a bit goofy yeah almost that he's shown up in a tux like if he can carry it off in a funny way of like you're wearing a tux on a date like it's obviously weird as fuck like that's

funny just to a random bar it sounds obviously weird as fuck, like that's funny. Just to a random bar it sounds like. If you can do that, like everything else aside, the drink, like as soon as that starts, I'm fucking out of there. The drink is mental, yeah. I'm never meeting that dummy. I do not need to know.

You were already, you know, walking on a fine line there and then you just start putting shit in your drink. When you start going out with potions. Has he like decanted them into like, I don't wanna know. Little jars. So strange. decanted them into like, I don't wanna know actually. So strange. It's psychotic. No, no, like it actually is psychotic.

Actually. But the tux, I feel like I could make it work if they have some kind of confidence and like kind of hilarity behind it. I like it as a Chandler Bing vibe, but it's like Chandler's doing that with Monica like six months in. That's not first date territory.

Exactly. It's fucking mental. That's not first date territory. Exactly. It's fucking mental That's not that's not a good joke without the context of haha. I'm making a joke There's no we have no context here to build from I don't know you this is the introduction And I need to see the whole episode of you like buying the tux it going wrong You're spilling it on you spilt Ross's coffee all over your trousers you were gonna wear now You've got to accidentally wear tux. I need to see all of that to get it. 100% we get it life gets busy luckily with Peloton Tread you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. only have 10 minutes? take a quick Peloton workout

want to go all out? chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute Tread workouts. no matter your goals or time, Peloton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push, find your power. Peloton. Visit OnePeloton.ca. Okay, should we do another one? Yeah, let's move on. Let's leave that where it belongs. Let's leave that and see what you guys think of that. This one is fucking mental Oh god, I can't wait. This one is fucking mental. Okay, okay Right, let me read it. Okay, so this person said you guys are nuts by the way, like Stay freaking safe. That one has actually scarred me a little bit. Fentriloquist is crazy. Okay, this one is mental

Oh just like this one is like eek. Yeah yeah I don't know what you do with that. Oh god, okay. This person said, okay you guys are gonna die when you hear this. Oh god. That was, yeah no, but this is like a, I don't know, that last one was almost like, okay you can just, you can carry on with your life now. This one is like, oh okay. Oh god, okay okay. Okay. I'm ready to take a deep breath. This person said, you guys are gonna die when you hear this, I need advice so badly because I've somehow found myself in the weirdest situation Okay, I'm dating a guy who's a little bit older than me. I'm 25. He's 33 and we've been seeing each other for about six months He's always been very open and emotionally available with me always communicating and always being really upfront and genuine. Okay

Okay, you see twice available with me, always communicating and always being really upfront and genuine. Okay. Okay. You seem nice. Seems great. The situation began one night when I was out with his friends and I heard some of the girls talking about a girl I hadn't heard about before and I could tell they were being a bit awkward about it and not wanting me to catch on. Terrible friends. Friends of his as well. It's like, okay, intriguing dynamic. And I'm assuming they're a bit older. Not a great dynamic. She's 25 and they're 33.

It's like, okay, Sadie Sink, all too well. That is a little bit of an age gap, isn't it? A little bit, it's a bit of an awkward one. Did I say 33? 33 and 25. 33, five. Yeah, that's a bit much. They tell me that his ex is a massive TikTok influencer who I've loved for years and I

had no idea. Oh my god. Gorgeous and very very famous. She has one million TikTok followers. How many? One million. Okay. So that's a lot.

And she watches them. She's like a fan of that TikTok girl. She's's a lot. And she watches them. She's like a fan of that. She's been a fan. God can we find out who it is? Okay so wait, I'd love to know who it is but we can't. That's quite cool of them to not say like if I was messaging in I probably would be like and they're fucking dating and I would say. Oh my god so true. Like this is quite a, they're being quite big here quite classy yeah it is quite classy they carry on she's still posting about her ex as in oh god the girl the yeah yeah yeah this boyfriend this guy and hinting this is

quite crazy no and hinting at their kinky past which he has admitted he's still into. oh god that's like actually horrific. she's liking my posts and I'm getting DMs from people who follow her telling me to back off. oh my god so- is this as weird as it feels or am I just overthinking it? I think it's as weird as it feels actually. I think it might be as weird as it feels. I think think it might be as weird as it feels. I think it's very much as weird as it feels for sure. So that's fucking crazy. Okay so aside from like desperately wanting to know who that fucking is.

Who broke up like six months ago? It's a bit crazy that they're posting about, like the girl is posting about... About the ex. Their kinky past. Or posted about like the breakup yeah and their kinky relationship so does she want to get back with him then it sounds like it's crazy it's crazy to have that much access to someone your dating's ex i feel like the the less you know about an ex the better totally yeah and the fact that you have followed them for years it's

crazy it's like wait you followed them probably when she was fucking the guy that you're with current. I'm probably talking about Him him like she you've been following her. She's been talking about oh my god my ex blah blah blah blah blah Then you find out oh my god Those videos are about the guy that I'm seeing the thing that I don't like as well is like he was always upfront he's always been really honest, really communicative, really like um what did they say emotionally available and it's like yeah but you've just missed the detail on the ex that is a big TikToker. I almost I just feel like that would have come up surely. It would. How many times have you had a little conversation about Tik Tok or like have you seen this Tik Tok or whatever? It would come up. Or can you take a photo for me? It's like oh you know my ex. Look that's coming up.

Also there's the whole thing about the friends. If you're like it's not technically a lie but just like omitting details is still kind of lying. It is yeah. It's lying by omission. You've like purposely not told me something which is a lie. Yeah yeah. it's really dishonest. but wait but she's liking the new girls posts so she's got like a vendetta. it's quite heartbreaking. you've taken my favorite influencer from me. that's bad that's so what do you do in that situation? yeah it's not nice. i don't know. and all of his friends are still friends with the girl. oh she hasn't said but yeah i guess. because i kind of feel like that. oh god it just poses a lot of questions doesn't And all of his friends are still friends with the girl. Oh, she hasn't said but yeah, I guess. Because I kind of feel like that, eugh, god it just poses a lot of questions, doesn't it?

Well that, all of the friends being friends with the girl was a concept as well that I was thinking about in relation to that, did I say epistemic injustice? You said something along those, along those lines, yeah. That thing that we were just talking about. Basically the- It's not catchy, that's the problem. It's not catchy, but it is powerful. It's perfect, but it's not really sticking in my brain It's a difficult epistemic sounds wrong in my head. I don't yeah Epistemic it's like too that shouldn't be attached. Yeah. No, it's not. It's definitely not catching for me No, but I do love it. And in that they were basically saying

that the lack of vocabulary protects abusers and stuff. And it keeps. It's patriarchal. It's totally patriarchal and it keeps people disenfranchised and in unsafe situations. And the lack of language around like, not even the lack of language, but just almost is one of those things where it's like if they're all still friends, anytime that

a group of friends, there's a breakup in a group of friends and then they're all still kind of friends with the people pick a side and it's like, well, they haven't done anything wrong to me and da da da da. It is that lack of language that allows that to happen and it always, not always, but it often honours in my experience the man in the situation. Totally. Yeah. It's really tricky. I think those moments where it's like a friendship group and I know some of you guys have gone through this because we've got DMs about this before where it's like there'll be like a group of friends and there's a relationship

within the group of friends and then they break up and then the friends are sort of weirdly expected to choose sides but there often is an idea that I don't know maybe I'm a fucking psycho but I really really really would not want my friends being friends with someone that has hurt me in some way if we've been in like if it was a painful breakup that was potentially their fault if it was a mutual thing or like a my fault different issue but if it was a mutual thing or like a my fault different issue. But I think I would also have the empathy of like I obviously would not want to put someone in the position of that. Right, it's difficult. But I really really really don't like the idea of a man has wronged me and my friends being able to like have dinner with him. Well it's really in a tangible sense. That would raiseizing their relationship with him and the feelings of him and everything about him over the way that you feel and your, do you know what I

mean? Yeah, no, it's really crazy and also it's so common. I think that's also one of the things is mostly I hear about a man that's cheated on a girl or has fucking broken up with them in a really harsh, unfair way and also we know how these things work. It most likely will be something like that. And then of course the women's feelings are underplayed and all of this stuff i don't know i think it would really fucking bother me if my friends were able to have a pleasant conversation with someone that had done something like that to me just to show such a willingness to keep them in your life it's like oh grow up he's not gonna

fuck just the absence of thinking about me. I think that would be the thing that would bother me. It's like, wait, you haven't even... you don't... you have probably thought about it but you really don't care about how that's gonna make me feel. I think that would really... I don't think I could actually. I find the desperation angle a bit off-putting. Oh, I find the meanness. It's like, what you didn't think that when I saw you guys having coffee that would bother me. It depends on so much as well like I do think there's a loyalty of like oh I don't know it though this is why breakups are so difficult because then it's like it loyalty and all these things do come into question but and length of time that you've known someone

how close you are, the idea of having to choose do you have to choose, do people need you to choose but if it is a situation where someone has been, I do think there is an element of choice that the friends have to make that the people in the relationship cannot ask of them. It's like it's hard to ask someone, I need you to show loyalty to me here. But if they've been hurt in that situation and there is a clear right person and wrong person in your view, I do think you should make that choice for them. Yeah, I agree. Also in this case, this do think you should make that choice for them. Yeah, I agree. Also in this case, this person is still with

or still dating this guy, she's still very much in it, they haven't even, I don't know how, this has to be addressed, their ex liking your stuff. So it's obviously gone through the grapevine. And this person is not, this is not an influencer, the person that's written in it. No, not to my knowledge. So why the fuck are they liking her stuff if this is that's written in. No, not to my knowledge.

So why the fuck are they liking her stuff if this is someone's personal account? No, it's like doing it as a dig, I think, or being like, I know who you are. Sort of like, oh hi. Yeah, hey, bitch, bye. It's weird. Hi, you know who I am. But that has to come up, like now there surely has to be a big conversation with you and the guy.

To be like, okay, so I found out through your mates that your ex is a TikToker who's been who's spoken about you before Did she not think though? Why is this influence that I like liking my stuff? Well, I think she started liking it after Yeah, like almost like oh my god, this girl just liked my stuff. Yeah Best friends. Yeah God, it's pretty that's a sticky situation It's a horrible situation. It does call into question the relationship. I'm sorry to say it I think it's such bad vibes of the I don't know I don't know how it ended and it is also I think it's intriguing as well with the age gap

But if I was the X and I'm an influencer in this world with 1 million tick-tock followers And I hear that this guy that I was with is now seeing this other girl who's like so much younger than him. Yeah. Yeah. But to like, to start liking her post is a bit like... No, it's mental. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. No, that's not okay, but I think it's even weirder that he has not mentioned it. Yeah, it's bad vibes. And that it has to... how long have you been with this guy? Six months. That's why I know because yeah he's weird as fuck then for not mentioning... and also it's clearly a big deal the fact that the friends you've only met them I don't know you're on a night out with the friends and they're mentioning it. This is a big deal.

Oh I don't like it. I think that's weird. Imagine you're on a night out with your boyfriend and his group of friends and you all of the girlfriends are saying oh my god blah blah blah it's like sorry? What's going on? it reminds me of two different things. the first thing I was gonna say was that Adam Brody nobody wants this thing of like when they're in touch with the ex or whatever the friend I can't remember what her name is what's her name? I've only seen one actually it's a problem like a big yeah, I can't watch it Like you need to stay away I also found it really interesting how hot he is This is not a big spoiler, but I guess the whole thing is the crux of that whole show

Well, there's many I guess they're just very different people. He's a rabbi and she's a fucking podcast Yeah, talking about sex and dating. Yeah Yeah, but I found it really interesting, just the conversation of like her converting to a religion for a guy. I find, they question it because it's like what are we supposed to do here? Like I'm a rabbi, I'm a big deal in the rabbi community and you're like a whore on the internet sort of vibe. Their words, not mine. Yeah. But just the idea of, just the idea of religion anyway, and then religion in relationships,

I just find it really fascinating. I do find it an interesting concept. It's fucked up. I think because what I'm trying to say is, I've always been like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Through my own experience, it's been like, the worst thing that I could do as a woman is just to convert to a religion

and live under it strictly for a man. Because that's what happened in my life. Fucking horrendous. Live under it strictly? Yeah, no, like follow the religion. Be devout. I will not live under anything strictly. Well, that's the thing.

So like, but, yeah, I know. It is crazy. Anything that I don't truly believe. Well yeah but I think it's also even scarier if you do start believing it. I have so many thoughts on religion and I would love to discuss but he did make it hot and I did think I could be Jewish maybe. I also think it's different in what way you do it it's almost because that plot line it's also in what way you do it. It's almost because that plot line It's also also in six Mississippi Charlotte converts to Judaism for whatever his name is Harry I think his name is and I kind of liked it, but there was so much in it as well

So loaded it just especially with someone like Charlotte that is like so traditionally Yeah, life. Yeah, feminine Passive and homely sort of vibe What I don't like is this idea that she, I do like Charlotte, but I don't like the idea that she in particular would convert to her husband's religion with no willingness for him to adapt to her life. It's kind of the question is like Charlotte you do this or it's over, not we come up with something together. And almost like if Carrie was doing that or like Samantha, someone that felt slightly more empowered and like that

didn't feel obvious but someone like her it just felt like yeah of course you would do that. It's definitely an intriguing... It depends how you do it. It does depend but it's the only time that I've seen it and been like... well it's the only time that I... I normally would be like I'm gonna turn this off, I can't even watch this. But also like Judaism is really foreign to me so it maybe makes it a little bit more like oh I can watch that rather than like if it was like convert to Islam I'd be like I maybe can't watch this. It's a bit too

harrowing from my experience. Also that's incredibly different in terms of like the visuals for women and what that means for women. Yeah, but it's still kind of the same crap. It's so different. And I do like that it's really interesting that she has a podcast and with her sister and they discuss like they kind of have the conversation about dating of like, they're literally doing this. And the sister, no spoilers again, really vaguely, the sister is like, you're such a dick. Like, you're so happy to talk about dating, dating, dating, dating. And then as soon as you've got this thing going, you're like, I'm too good to speak about dating on my podcast now and the girl is like is that what happens? Yeah, she's like, oh, I'm just trying to like be a bit more boundary or wherever and it's just an interesting

It's a funny little conversation. Do you know what it is? silencing women once again Aligning like her goodness with her quietness. Like she's more available to him as like a wife and like oh she seems like she's growing as a character when actually all she's doing is like not talking. Well they have quite interesting conversations about it. Like do you remember we had a conversation about it and I was like they kind of they do a lot of the like therapy speak it's it's just they're kind of I appreciate your comedy yeah they throw a lot of buzzwords at each other and it's interesting to see them

like kind of you fight it's kind of weaponizing wellness from both sides and how that like where does that land if I say to you well if you were really empowered you would be confident enough to bring your real-life stories to the podcast and you say to me well I'm so empowered that i don't need to rely on my real world experiences to entertain people on the internet it's like where do we land yeah you know what i mean like both are true both are true it's just an interesting i've never seen that on tv yeah no i like that i like that a lot yeah um you guys are fucked you i hate to break into you you guys are well and truly fucked there was just so much to say so much to say it's been quite a

big ep i feel like definitely i feel like we've gone through some ups and downs some fucking horror stories it really um did live up to the name some real horror stories yeah it's really quite horrific so horrific and there are more like that's kind of the beginning of... We've barely scratched the surface. Yeah there are many more we've seen. I would love to know what everyone would do in these situations, like the ventriloquist dummy is one thing but for example the guy that you're seeing hasn't told you about his ex, he's a Tik Toker who's talking about their relationship online and then I don't know what you do with that. You have to have a conversation but it's not very pleasant is it? I would like to know,

the main thing I would like to know is why did you omit that? Why did you not tell me about that? There must be something, are you still messaging? Is she still messaging you? There's something about that that you didn't want me to know. And I'm not going to be like a silly little thing

for you guys to play with before you just get back together. No, in the words of someone from Made in Chelsea once, which makes me laugh every time, I will not be a prawn in your game. you just get back together. No. In the words of someone from Maiden Chelsea once, which makes me laugh every time, I will not be a prawn in your game. I will not be a prawn in your game. I will not be a prawn in your game. That's for sure. That is amazing. Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever heard? Who says that? I have no idea but it really stuck out to me. it was like five seasons, maybe more though actually like seven seasons ago. so good. someone said it and it wasn't a huge thing. i will not be a prawn in your game. no one really addressed it but it's like did he just say i won't be a prawn in your game? prawn in your game! that is so good. that is hilarious. i also think the thing is weird with like the dynamic of this guy you're seeing, their ex, is like a huge TikToker and now you have all this access and you've essentially probably maybe not grown up because it's Tik Tok like growing up with them, but

you have consumed all you have too much access to their ex and that's really shit to be able to compare yourself to their ex on that level. It's horrific, it's too much information. It's like, you know when you're going down a sort of Instagram hole looking at someone, blah blah blah, it is a bad space to be in. Nothing good is down there. Like, actually stop. And I do feel like there's something sort of self-harming about it.

Like, that idea of like, I'm looking for something that's gonna hurt me. That I am actually going searching for pain right now. And also like you've essentially been making his ex money in a real indirect way. Do you know what I mean? Like there's a really weird dynamic of like I hate the power that that puts the position of the ex in. Yeah oh my god absolutely awful. It just feels really unfair like it feels like you know they've really got the upper hand of like they know all the they've already kind of um homogenized. the world. they've got a monopoly over that the friends your your TikTok for you page, no, your boyfriend

they've got everything. I genuinely think that it's a walk away situation no guy is worth this shit. he needs to be honest. like I genuinely think the mess that you're entering into that Unless he has some amazing reason that he didn't explain this to you and all of the staff and that he's like who oh, yeah That fucking girl. Yeah, we had a relationship like, you know, he's truly seems over it would six months in fucking walk away This is nothing. So he's 30 Just fucking walk away from this shit with like it with this tick tock girl like go away Yeah, no, no, you don't need to move on with your life and you can free it all up for actually good things. So true Okay. Well, that was fun. Really fun. See you tomorrow. Okay. We'll see you tomorrow

Do we have really a spooky outro do we? We don't have something to say We could say like we'll close the chapter and see you tomorrow in chapter two We'll, okay let's say it here, we'll close the chapter and see you tomorrow in chapter two. Okay, let's set here. We'll close the chapter. We'll close the chapter. We'll see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow.

And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow.

And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. And see you tomorrow. We've only got three of these, so like... We'll come over for chapter two. And we'll see you tomorrow.

For chapter two. No, let's not obsess on that. Let's give it one more go. It's a bit over of a secret, but do you know anything about chapter two? Of the Civil Wing Horror Stories series. But I can show you. Alright, okay bye. I wish we had something good, but right, it seemed life gets busy. We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave.

Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Pelaton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push, find your power. Palaton. Visit OnePalaton.ca