Goes Without Saying - how to beat the seasonal depression: a canon event

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

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wherever you listen to podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It goes without saying you're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Sefi. And I'm Wing. And this is a cozy, cozy reality check that summer is ending and winter is coming we are talking about all the problems we might face in autumn it's kind of seasonal depression

kind of the spiced what's it called pumpkin spice latte sort of feelings kind of getting into the narrative of a season it's made me feel quite excited but also dreading of autumn and if you can relate to that then i think you'll enjoy it we ask for your thoughts on our instagram which is at sephian wing if you didn't know where to find us which is the best way to be anonymously featured in these episodes we're back we've just done our usual kind of routine of getting really bummed out before we record but your questions to our your answers to our question on instagram just kind of hyped us brought us back to life and we're ready to talk to us it's because we tell like horror stories for

like the hour before we start recording i don't know what we're thinking we always say like can this one be an in and out like we just go in we record we go out yeah just nice and clean yeah almost like when you we come to facetime we've already spoken about all our stuff we speak about but somehow it's like we end up talking about weird like youtube conspiracy theories so bad it's like so silly doing silly time limit yeah you are time crunch we're on a time crunch but i'm excited for this one now good i am as well actually i am i know i don't look it because i'm like horizontal with my eyes closed but i am i'm doing the animal crossing like one of my eyes is closed i think it's just my contact is being weird but it's fine my contact lens it's okay no one cares we've got time for you

to change into your glasses but yeah i really can't be bothered i'm not gonna change my glasses i don't even know where they are but my contact lens case because i use monthly contacts you press me on this i wasn't desperate to talk about it here you are we're bringing it up um i would need to take them out and put them back in the little oh yeah container and i just can't bother to go and get that take them out and then like oh just who has the time i honestly i think i take my eyesight so for granted like this sounds like some serious admin you know what it's really not that big of a deal but it's like when they hurt they or like when something goes wrong it's just you know the feeling of having something in your eyes a bit of a bummer oh no it's so. So that's the energy that I'm bringing to you all. Sorry.

Oh no, I would just be a fear that it would happen like almost on an exciting day that you're going to the cinema and it's like, now I've got an itchy eye. Yeah, that one's bad. Or like I'm going to Thought Park and my contacts falling out. Like things on an exciting day. It's always quite stuffy air in the cinema as well. And it's like, if you have your eyes open, you're really concentrating for like two and a half hours.

Like halfway through, sometimes they do start to really get annoying yeah but contacts are good like for being on a roller coaster because what you can do wear your glasses have them fly go on blind well exactly yeah it's like no you need your contacts yeah no you do so anywho so we're talking about which i'm excited for autumn okay good what are you excited for i think i like the vibes of autumn also i think like i'm saying that now because i know i still have a holiday coming up um so i'm also i don't feel done with summer yet yep um i mean i am excited i do like the vibe of like cozy indoors raining candles energy i do like that i'm a bit i'm not done with summer but i do feel a bit like oh i could start like i'm seeing gilmore girls kind of showing up a little bit more on my um feeds and i'm a bit like oh i am

intrigued i'm still feeling very summery the day today is summer but i'm starting to see the prep for autumn coming i'm seeing the prep and i'm rejecting it still it's okay i'll get my head around it i don't normally reject it i feel like this is like one of my first summers where i've like really not been depressed with a capital n and a capital d not been depressed for the first time i've been living it up and i just i feel like it's the first time that i'm like i love cozy but she can wait yeah i agree she can wait she can wait but i'm also i'm not pushing her back i'm yeah you're going with the scarf now i saw a lovely thing that was way more lovely than i'm gonna make it sound it was like really beautiful it's like full

paragraph i'm just gonna give you like the last sentence which was like let august be august and let september be september and let october be october like don't rush yeah yeah into each or like do you know i mean like don't wish your whole life away as they say and it's the classic thing of putting the narrative on top of something it's like let november be november november really it isn't just a month like it's like we've already created this whole like let november be november november really it isn't just a month like it's like we've already created this whole thing how november feels what i'm going to be listening to and eating in november uh-huh do you know which one has a feeling sorry i'm laughing that you're winking back at me have you noticed you're really mirroring my so i'm sat here with

one of my eyes closed and it really hurts and sephie's like twitching back at me oh my god i just realized i am doing that i'm kind of like you've been really like squinting at me you think i'm winking at you you've started to wink back i think that's just how i don't know what that is almost when you see someone yawn then you yawn you yawn back yeah it's okay you can open your eyes i was actually just laughing at you pulling that face that was so funny i am doing that you're that was really like you know when a baby copies your face like they start like mirroring you i actually felt myself doing that i think it's really weird am i still doing it it's just so funny oh wait i'm gonna try to get back to neutral

i almost can't because you're pulling such a winking face i really am i can't almost not spin back at you let me try and get back to it's so weird because we're having the most sincere like mundane conversation about like october meanwhile there's just two people winking at each other it's like what is this really about is there something we don't know okay well i'm gonna try to stop but i might wink at you because it's just that's all right clearly my face is just doing some mischievous topic about it yeah i love almost the narratives we put on seasons like almost that we're all preparing right now to be a bit sad it's almost like jesus christ you know what it kind of reminds

me of which is something that we do need to properly address on the pod sad it's almost like jesus christ you know what it kind of reminds me of which is something that we do need to properly address on the pod but it's not for today i'm so sorry but the idea of like syncing with your period cycles like if you're someone who has periods and like the ways that your hormones like dip and drop throughout the month and all of these things are like being ruled by the moon like the stars like which i so believe the moon like all of these kind of weird like kind of universal biological yeah shifts that are happening the idea of like going from august to september summer to autumn it's quite nice if you want to lean into it but also like it undeniably does have an impact like the seasons undeniably have an impact like even though we've put these weird things of like pumpkin spice latte on top of it doesn't mean that red season yeah we're a bit

um crazy about it a little bit there are things that you'll be more inclined to do in different seasons undeniable vibes undeniable well it's like we need to deny the vibes what are you gonna do eat a roast dinner in summer you off your off your nut rocker yeah no but i mean there are just things you'll be more inclined to do which i actually think is quite nice to lean into like the patterns like the cycles of like oh i haven't done this i'm having my first um pumpkins christ last i've never had one i don't think of the year i think i've tried one once but like i haven't ever like had one i haven't ordered one maybe i will this year maybe i have my first pumpkin spice latte yeah and pretend i'm sort of like it in 2015 you're in um you're in gilmore girls i don't know if they drink pumpkin spice they kind of would wouldn't

they would if they were yeah in 2015 okay should we go in with yeah yeah do you want to take us um well that was one that i quite liked at the the first thing that someone sent through i immediately liked they said this is my first this is my first year not having anything to go back to in september i think that's interesting just in terms of the cycles the school cycles cycles of life that we almost get used to like gearing up after summer for something it's like oh summer's your break and then it's like you're expected to be like go go go you're launching into something new come september time but actually what if there isn't anything no but it very much you know kind of the idea of

like trauma lives in the body like there's definitely some level of biological response from those of us that have kind of been indoctrinated into like at least the western like school routine the education system of like being somewhere on september 10th that you weren't for the past seven weeks or something yeah it definitely lives in my memory i still start to get the itch of like okay summer's ending where are you going like what are you doing now are you get are you gearing up to something new like what's this kind of i'm living the new term life new term new me definitely i'm not in school yeah no i think it's almost like there's an anticipation that like

builds throughout summer because it's seen as such a time of like freedom and like you're a bit more reckless maybe you stay up later you're not really in a routine and then almost like and then it's like back to reality almost you're you're taught that it's like a good thing can only last so long and it's like right now it's time to come on back to it pack your bags new pencil case yeah yeah i'm trying to wink at you yeah new pencil case do you remember that that gets me excited new pencil case and maybe a new school bag this is why i do like the vibes of kind of what you're just saying but there's a huge element to the kind of romanticizing life conversation that's like so um like unavoidable on social media at this point and there's a huge part of that that's so lovely what you're laughing at the fact i was winking at you it's so embarrassing you can't laugh and you expect

me to keep talking as if nothing's happening just literally laughing in my face sorry i was trying to hide the smirk it was so good just us going do you know what worries me about that is how often do i do weird things in public like someone it's not addressed and no one addresses it like you would address it all the time yeah just how often do i say things or do something and people are like you know what i always think you know when like you've had a weird misunderstanding with someone like say i said to you oh it's really hard to come up with these like just like a generic but like just a weird exactly like almost like oh yeah i loved that skirt when you wore it or whatever but you thought i said it was a different thing and it's like but you know we had a different

conversation and blah blah and it's almost like if you didn't notice that the other person read you wrong they would think you're a fucking cunt does that make sense like i always have this fear that someone's gonna misunderstand me or i'm gonna like misspeak and make it sound like i'm saying something when i'm actually saying something else god forbid there's a microphone in my face god forbid i'm on a podcast but like i always think in my real life i get nervous that i'm gonna be misunderstood and not realize that the other person has misunderstood me and i won't and they're not going to pull me up on it because it's and then realize later that's the worst thing oh god forbid never realize and then it can never

be addressed and it's like i didn't even know that no that's something that made me sound like an arsehole i don't mind that because it's like uh fucking no i want the chance to a tree balls in a forest i'll never know that they think i'm a weirdo but almost like what i hate is when you have that interaction with someone and then you go home and then you're like fuck no they thought i meant i text them i'd fucking say someone you can't text i'd find their number i'll hunt you down and make you think that i'm a nice girl like i will die before you think i'm an arsehole like you can't i can't i won't i can't sleep a wink but you think that i'm a nice girl like i will die before you think i'm an arsehole like you can't i can't i won't i can't sleep a wink but you think i'm a bitch the guy on the tube that you said something to i'm finding him i didn't mean that i'm gonna do a tweet that says

this man if there was a man on the victoria line at 806 this morning i will ride the victoria line every day until he returns in search of him i know where he got on i knew where he got off honestly i can't hang around those stations i can't it just it hurts my soul anyway i don't know why i brought that up because i started giggling mid whilst you're talking like a little classic no no be rude live it up um i shall ring yeah yeah not going back to anything yeah i just think that's quite interesting because i think it is a process as you grow up that realizing that things don't move in the cycle that you were like almost like trained to um be in sync with your whole life like it was kind of like a few episodes ago probably like 20 episodes ago now where i was working in an office and i was like oh i can't

wait for the summer and everyone's like what i was like the summer holidays and they were like no no and i was like what do you mean what oh the for the summer. And everyone's like, what? I was like, the summer holidays. And they were like, no, no. And I was like, what do you mean? What? Oh, the real world is so real. You mean I'm in here every day in summer? They're like, yes, you better get used to your seat. And I had to. Honestly, capitalism is such a cunt.

It was a harsh awakening of like, oh, OK, I kind of thought we might get two weeks or something. And they were literally laughing their heads off like you thought this could be good it's so bad but it is horrible i think that's a weird there's a huge part of us that naturally still works in that kind of terminology that we've grown up with of like oh they were in the year above me or like what grade would i get in this like where am i at like am i overachieving am i underachieving where am i in comparison to my peers and loved ones am i doing what's expected of me am i falling short like the ways that we kind of measure where we are in life and how successful unsuccessful quote-unquote we are never really change yeah we

can always be a dick to ourselves yeah i find the year above year below thing so fucking funny do you still do that a hundred percent do you know who i do it with i do it with um sort of guys if i'm dating them like i'll be like yeah i'll be like right okay so they were like oh my god they were year below me yeah yeah you're a fucking guy from a year below me what the fuck you're a fucking year below like that is not okay like they were two years above like yeah that makes them suddenly so much cooler it's like jesus but i do think there's an interesting kind of point in life where you start to it kind of feeds into the like conversation around noticing that like you and the people

around you are not even drifting but like you're moving towards certain things at different rates and like you're not just like all in um kind of set one science anymore yeah you're not in the same group anymore you're a part of like a wider much more diverse much more complex group of the human race well you're all in different groups like yeah you all then it's like people that do a certain thing then move into that group and people that are doing that thing they move into that group and you're in probably like five or six different groups and they hopefully overlaps with your friends in certain ways but really i do think growing up horribly can be like with certain people you realize that you have nothing in common with them anymore and it can

just be a bit of a process of just like letting that go yeah letting a lot of things go and just kind of prepare to diamond prepare to diamond we've referenced that a few times have we but i do feel like we should that means yeah lucy sheridan the world's first comparison coach i don't know why we have her instagram bio from two years ago memorized we really are like spokespeople for her but lucy sheridan the world's first famously the world's first comparison coach she had this idea about friendship and it was she would famously say prepare to diamond so the shape of a diamond going in and coming out and going in and coming out and it doesn't necessarily mean that just because you're in an ebb doesn't mean you're going to come back to a flow um yeah to diamond i haven't heard that in years i do also think there is a tendency when you're

ebbing and you're not in your flow or when you're seeing groups of people doing certain things that feel either like really far in the distance like in the future for you or completely something that like isn't going to be a part of your life like people making choices that aren't necessarily choices you'd make or like having quote-unquote achievements that you haven't achieved or feel like you won't achieve or feel like you don't want to achieve i think there can be an instinct i'll speak for all of us when i say an instinct to use that to make yourself feel like you're maybe not doing enough or not doing the right thing and you're maybe not in the right spot at the right time so just to kind of debunk that that little voice telling

you that i reckon you're probably doing all right you are probably the kind of person who's quite hard on yourself and finds it quite easy to pick apart probably the kind of person who's quite hard on yourself and finds it quite easy to pick apart the different kind of ways that you feel like you're falling short and i don't know if i would necessarily feel confident that you've given an equal amount of time to celebrating all the things that you've done well i'll tell you now you haven't right you haven't i'm not trying to make you feel bad i'm just saying you haven't even tried you haven't done that you haven't like the least you could do is sit back and relax and enjoy the things that you've been able to do well but you won't you refuse and that's fine because

that's what you've learned to do let's just give ourselves a moment to be like look i'm not that bad i've actually made it through some shitty things completed some amazing things i'm going to take a moment to if not even feel really proud but just like let that sink in that i'm not totally shit just feel for a moment that like you've been all right as a human and you're going to continue to be all right and you're not that bad and you are hard on yourself and you have people that are rooting for you and you are in the right place and it is the right time and it is going to work out and you're're gonna be fine i mean if you need to hear that again just go back a little bit listen to that again really let that sink in that was stunning wing thank you and now for an advert i love when we do that from our sponsor almost like in the most insulting almost like in the

most genuine place just put a really like we annoy it obtrusive almost like make something really genuine feel really disingenuous and grim i'm not putting an advert that i'll save it for later keep it on your toes um shall we i think that's a real lesson did you say shall we as no no no no no no no no no no i meant shall we do another but oh right well i just think that's a real lesson that we will all continue to learn throughout our lives how many times have you been confronted with the lesson that as soon as you achieve something the goalpost moves the carrot just moves like you're always chasing a new thing like when will that sink in i.e i don't think it will ever sink in because every single time anyone i know or myself

personally has achieved something that it's like that was something i worked and worked and fucking wanted so much and i've got it literally two hours after getting it maybe i'll be like yes and it's actually alarming how quickly you want the next thing and you invalidate the thing that you worked so hard for i think it's part of the human condition that we're like we've evolved to always be looking for threats and never like sort of enjoying ourselves because it's like right there are predators on the loose you can't really just sit down and be like thank god we made it to the mountaintop because the mountaintops no longer safe no like they are big time on the loose yeah they're on the loose like we've evolved to not be able to sit still we're nomadic we're nomadic

species guys we know this i can't not acknowledge the wink you're doing right now that was so painful that was a crazy one i'm really it's all it's getting work there's something coming out of my eye i think there's something in there trying to get out you have to take them out no no no it's all right i'll survive do you need to just collect why don't you put on some sunglasses no i honestly think that would help you could just keep them closed you could do this with your eyes closed i really could you could do this with your eyes i really could um i also think sorry just off that you might be right i might know this is insane like you're weeping really watering yeah weeping it's funny i am weeping oh it's all right it's all right i also think what you were saying about like not giving ourselves

time to like celebrate or acknowledge what we've done, just moving the goalposts, like having a little moment of being like, woohoo. And then an hour later being like, oh, what next? Yeah. Not good enough. Or kind of like finding a reason to be like, oh, well, anyone could have done that or just like immediately discredit it. So it's actually wild.

We have such skill. The speed at which the decreditation kind of comes through in the post yeah it's like it's creative we start going these very creative and unique reasons like never been seen before as to why we're shit anyway kind of feeds into the idea of like sometimes the success or the feeling of achieving something doesn't have like the perfect feeling that you thought it would like yeah yeah just because you don't then feel forever changed by the moment when you achieved something like maybe you were never going to and it's more so just about having those occasional like fleeting moments of like 30 seconds where you can really feel it and like you sit down with a

big old grin on your face and then you like move back on to your miserable life and it's fine that maybe that's just how it's supposed to be like you just feel generally all right and then sometimes you get those bursts and waves of like feeling like shit i'm so fucking glad that worked out or like oh my god that was so fucking cool i'm so excited or getting that buzz but that kind of level of adrenaline can't and shouldn't last forever like you can't actually live off of that high um and so just because something doesn't feel monumental every second of your waking day doesn't mean it isn't like a huge achievement like you don't have to discredit it it just might not feel the way that you thought it was gonna feel and also i think give yourself a break for like not knowing how to react like it's like almost it's like does taylor swift know how to react to being taylor swift probably not and like it takes time to like learn how to deal with

getting the things that you want because i think it doesn't come naturally to a lot of us to like achieve things and then really feel celebrated in that moment and then know how to process and move on from that because we've never really fathomed what it would mean to move on from it we've always just seen that as like the end goal like and then the credits roll and it's like but yeah what about the end credit scene what happens after the credits what's in the sequel like i don't know i've never fathomed but i think that's what success is like how many times do you hear the people that you like if you type in just a person that you admire on the internet you type in sophie turner into um fucking youtube whoever it is greta gerwig you know you know the names

you type it into youtube you watch an interview with them they will be saying that they have imposter syndrome and they don't really know how to deal with success or do you feel like a star now no i just feel like little old me like that's what they'll say i'm just a normal girl i'm just a silly little sephian wing we've seen that um um video of his like of margot robbie and someone's like do you feel sexy she's like not when i'm me and it's just so depressing because it's like look how like she's obviously so sexy and she doesn't know that she she can only feel that when she's playing someone it's just so evil what we've done to women in this world um but i think it's so easy to invalidate yourself because i think that is what success is i don't think it's i think we've

got an idea that when you reach the level of what you were attaining for what you're aspiring for you've attained that and then you level up and you become like a new sort of evolution pokemon evolution of yourself you go up a level and you never go back to that old one and then you get the new thing you pass your driving test and then you go up a new level that's not what it is you always are flowing into just like new insecurities new states sometimes you feel great sometimes you feel bad it doesn't mean that because you have got that promotion you always feel like someone with that promotion it's like no you're gonna feel just as insecure as

before you even got the job in the first place yeah yeah and you will be different is but maybe not necessarily in the ways that you thought all would. Not all the time. And not consistently. Yeah. It's so weird. It's so weird. Should we do another? Yeah. This is going really well, by the way.

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And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere a cast.com surely we've got to talk about seasonal depression i think that's what yeah people have come here for yeah go on well i'm seeing a lot of it that's why i said that i'm seeing um girls i'm scared um seasonal depression is going to destroy me this year as summer's weather sucked yeah sad making my depression worse but this is the first year where i feel like i've got plans in place when things go wrong so also hopeful oh that's nice people are talking about a lot seasonal depression is upon us yeah we know like we know that winter is a time when mental health is just more

volatile maybe like it's easier to slip into bad ways when you're not outside like as i just said we're nomadic and we're a nomadic species like we are built to be outside like we are not made to be kind of like never seeing the daylight i think that was another thing from my time working in an office like years and years ago it's that feeling when you get up you drive to your work you get up in the dark you drive there you sit there all day and you drive home in the dark it's fucking torturous this can't happen no i'm putting my fucking foot down sorry i need a revolution i'm not doing that not only is it out of order no but it's romanticized it's what people are striving for yeah it's it's the it's i got my promotion it's i got i'm getting

a pay rise like it is i'm a ceo i'm a girl boss this is the attainable you can't even leave your desperation you're working through your lunch god it's so out of order yeah no it really is i do think you should try it's so hard i actually do think it must be so hard because i say this so often to people that live that kind of lifestyle and they literally are literally like you don't get it and laugh in my face and they are right because they actually live it that life where you get up in the dark and you go home in the dark like i have no i have i think that's important um important distinction it is no distinction that we have lived we're not girls that hit three million just gonna put that out there from coming off love island we hit three million thank you so much thank you so much guys three million downloads three million little thing but yeah we have very much lived that life so i when

i'm saying it i kind of say it with the like a level of knowing a level of like look i do get it but i also get that when i say it to people they're all like you don't get it so i also think it is must be hard to put into practice because no one that i am saying it to is they're all like you don't get it so i also think it is must be hard to put into practice because no one that i am saying it to is doing it but i do think there are there must be small little ways that you can reclaim some level of freedom within that like strict structure there must be there absolutely must be like to i know the thing of like oh i i saw it i actually saw a video about this the other day where someone was talking about like the only way to get through these kind of jobs and trust me i have done many of them some episode a couple months ago fucking awful um where it's like you're giving all your energy

into something and you come home exhausted it's like the only way to like reclaim some freedom from it is to stop giving energy to it which is so hard but that feeling of like when when a customer shouts at you not taking it in or like when it's like not kind of putting everything out really quickly and blah blah and like typing it up really quickly i think that is a real skill it's just so much exactly and it's so much to ask for people in the reality it's so much to ask of people sorry in the reality of yeah what it does to us and also though it is kind of the quiet quitting thing it's like the older generation wonder why all of these new working like patterns or trends are happening where people are like easing out of their jobs

phasing out of like do you know i mean just our relationship to our work is changing but it is incredibly demoralizing and there is a huge aspect of like living on planet earth that is an expectation to suffer and not being allowed to challenge it and and it's so shit i think the thing of don't be depressed this winter i think the thing of like not being able to leave for lunch and like it being expected to stay like hours after work ends I think that's one of the things I always like talk to my friends that work in offices about about like but your working day finishes at five how come whenever I see you're working till seven and they're talking about like how that's just expected now and there is something well there's a huge something about it that is so unfair like if you're not getting paid for that work you obviously

should not be having to do it and i don't think it's outrageous at all to go and ask for those those hours to be paid but then obviously they're clearly that's not how things work it's also even the idea like kind of what i was saying about like these are the jobs that people are striving for there's a huge like i would say the majority i don't know what the stats are but i would imagine the majority of people don't get to work in an office and yeah have that level of like um i don't know like it was a luxury of sitting down all day exactly just being on your feet is oh my god i guess seasonally it's like you have to then work even harder to find little pockets of like feeling good because yeah you didn't get like a five minute cigarette break where the sun didn't get the

daylight you just didn't get any fucking daylight which i think well that's what seasonal affective disorder is isn't it that it's that you didn't see the sun enough basically and that that is what triggers like the depression to like come out really yeah but also kind of i think it's then largely used by people or for people who feel like the kind of culture around like kind of around winter the undeniable vibes yeah no there are undeniable vibes of winter with kind of autumn winter time well it's kind of around winter the undeniable vibes yeah no there are undeniable vibes of winter with kind of autumn winter time well it's kind of a people do get it lockdown energy exactly yes but people kind of get inside you can have it the opposite way like people get like summer

well we did a whole episode about kind of anxieties around summer and i think i mean from reading the responses i mean that people had plenty of anxiety about summer coming around yeah basically it's just life is hard like life is actually really hard like in summer i was reading all of the stuff everyone's scared about body image all of this stuff it plans there's suddenly a pressure to be busy all the time and then i think it's on the flip side there's a huge pressure that if you're expected to like kind of be at home more be inside more it's like okay well loneliness can creep in like it actually is really difficult being human no it it's the most difficult thing i've ever done personally i've never done anything harder than

this in this lifestyle um kind of comes into the idea of like try not to make it even harder for yourself and that in itself is like a challenging thing for me to ask of you and for that i apologize but try and lean into the moments where like you're just seeing it for what it is of like you know what i'm just feeling a bit shit or like i'm dealing with depression yeah and that i can handle like okay that i can understand and almost what would i say if sephie came to me and said i have been struggling with depression for the past few weeks i would say okay well let's think about what you need what's gonna help you wouldn't do you wouldn't you know what you wouldn't shame on you wouldn't be a fucking arsehole yeah i can tell

you that for nothing i think that's such a great way to look you would back off you would back the fuck off and be like i'm gonna help this person you'd maybe make them a cup of tea sit down right okay let's almost just chill i do think having some like did i just read the one where someone said i've got some things in place now like they're prepared for this winter yeah i do think if you know that something is going to be you've been uh you've been stuffing your cheeks what's it yeah hiding hibernating and stop storing your nuts for yeah you've been stuck out for the season yeah i've seen over the hedge i know what's going on um great movie yeah i think actually if you know that winter is something that is gonna maybe like coming yeah it is coming and it is coming if it's gonna exacerbate some of the like symptoms

of depression if you if that's something you struggle with or just like all of the ways in which winter can make you feel like shit i do think having some things in place so you aren't just like hit out of nowhere with just like okay now you're in the throes of just like feeling fucking bad and it's pitch black and you're you know fucking struggling i think that there are some things that you can put in place like almost like if you book it if you get on the fucking um nhs therapy waiting list now you'll be by november you'll be in that's great advice yeah if you know that getting um not not getting enough daylight is gonna really impact almost like

the biology in your brain i don't know how it works you can get those sad lamps that are like that give you sort of i guess it's like uv rays or something in your room but i know a few people that use them and really have seen benefits from them and i don't know schedule if you if like loneliness or something is something that you feel like you're going to struggle with maybe like joining some clubs or something that you know that every tuesday you're going to be seeing some people i don't know things like that i think would help me if you've got someone that you feel like you can be on a certain level with and be like i know we're going to this club every tuesday or whatever yeah but i feel like i'm kind of the person who might mysteriously be

a few consecutive weeks like keep maybe keep an eye on me or like i'm good is it okay if i text you before and we meet half an hour before so then i'm with you we can go straight from there like that sort of thing like lean on the people who you feel like you can be open with because i think the guilt and the shame will be eating you alive and you won't have it in you to be texting people the reality of what's going on and you're probably gonna be exactly whilst it's happening it's so much harder to like crack through that like ugly screen that makes you feel so bad yeah almost when you're in it it's gonna be so much harder than you're probably going to be willing to let on so i think almost having that like pre-arranged agreement of like this is what we're preparing for me and you on our team this is what we're looking to what might happen best case scenario it doesn't

happen and we've just had a funny little conversation about it worst case scenario you're there for me and like when i need it yeah we can figure it out i think also there's a whole thing about um wait can i start again because i'm starting every sentence with i think i've heard the phrase quite a bit about wait let me start i've forgotten the phrase as well um let me get it something you've heard i like get the i know what it is but it's also was that a good point yeah of course it is I've forgotten the phrase as well. Let me get it. Something you've heard. I know what it is, but was that a good point? Yeah, of course it is. Give me a second.

Don't let that go. I don't know where I've heard this, but people have said this quite a few times to me. Like, if you deal with things when you're... Like, you can't deal with something when you're in it. You have to almost deal with things. It's easier to work on your mental health whilst you're not feeling it so it's it seems like the last thing you'd want to do is like go to therapy or like deal with like the thing you're dealing with whilst you're not feeling it because when you're in it it's like just get me away from

it get me away from it i don't want to have to deal think about this but i think one of the most valuable things you can do is actually like identify your issues, which is probably one of the hardest bits is being like, I think it's going to be hard for me in winter. I think it might be because of this thing, SAD, I've heard about it or whatever it is. And then like buying books about it, listening to podcasts about it while like even before you're struggling with it. I think that can seem so boring and so like not a priority it's like well i'm not feeling it right now like maybe i'm cured maybe i don't need it you will thank yourself so fucking much if you've done some of

the prep and some of the like work or in just like understanding what you're dealing with before you actually deal with it couldn't agree more i couldn't agree more i think so much of that foundational work as well and so much of like the impact of your mental health being bad like a lot of those symptoms really are exacerbated from your habits like yeah a lot of your life and what your day-to-day looks like and then in turn how you feel is just a kind of compilation of all of the habits that you've got yourself into and so if you've been depressed for a long time and it's only getting worse i reckon you've got yourself into some pretty nasty habits and breaking that can be really hard but if like you're in that phase where you feel if you get even a moment of feeling slightly out of it try and capitalize it give yourself a break but also capitalize on it as

much as possible and just be like you know what i am feeling good enough to go for a walk now so i'm gonna fucking go for a walk and hopefully tomorrow i'll have a tiny moment where i can go for a walk and i'll go for a walk again and then tomorrow even though i'm working from dusk till dawn yeah even though i haven't seen the daylight in weeks i'm gonna try and fucking go for a walk again and then tomorrow even though i'm working from dusk till dawn even though i haven't seen the daylight in weeks i'm gonna try and fucking go for a walk because really like building in new habits it's so mundane but the introduction of like new ways of moving through life is so much without thinking it's so autopilot the way that we move through most of our lives that we just do things without thinking a lot of the time and when you're in that negative cycle of all you're doing

is like thinking badly and not making much movement beyond that if you then get yourself into a new habit of like starting to really really slowly and like gently and kindly and i'm being so straight i'm actually waving my finger at you there like nicely i'm not telling you to be an arsehole to yourself but like if you're really gently and nicely working on like new ways of living that feel like the easiest ways that you can do that realistically for wherever your mental health is at the moment that will be the easiest almost like the kind of like you want to ride that gentle slope up like it's good you know there's it's so unrealistic for it to be like a really steep

learning curve but like if you can really slowly just like gently build a ramp to ease yourself up rather than like fucking walking scale a thousand steps literally no it literally is scaling a mountain but it's like if you slowly start like taking little hikes up and down kind of peaks and troughs and hills nearby one day you might be able to scale a fucking mountain and you'll look back and be like oh my god i'm on the top of a mountain and then you might feel shit when you're there that's the crucial bit you'll get to the top of the mountain yeah and then you'll go oh this is what it feels like to be on top of a mountain it feels like a bit shit on top of a mountain feels like a bit like being on the floor the pride you'll feel from being on that mountain and

feeling a bit shit and knowing that you've worked so hard to get to just feeling a little bit shit oh my god it's astronomical astro freaking nomical any closers i mean i would like to reiterate the three million downloads that really i would like to reiterate the three million downloads that really i would like to reiterate that let's kick that around for a moment we're also like this is kind of a delayed thank you because now we're on like three million and like some and other thousand there was a really annoying bit in the last episode i can't remember if i left it in or not in the edit but right at the end i'm like i feel like there was something we needed to say and you're like and i'm like and we're like i can feel it's like oh it really is so fucking annoying to listen back to i might have cut that but it was literally on

the tip of our tongue um but i think when we were anticipating it for so long we feel like we've been at three million for like six months or something like a fee i feel like i'm i've been a three million girly but yeah we're actually yeah been there done that now i want four exactly on that note on to the next yeah but genuinely like even though like the big lesson in life really that i'm learning again and again again and i think we all will learn it again and again again is that when you get an achievement you feel kind of the same great lesson to learn and I think nothing has reiterated that more than like the milestones like the very clear like almost like numerical undeniable um sort of milestones that we've hit on this yeah with this podcast and just like doing so amazing and it is so funny how quickly um almost like

yeah you invalidate the achievement and it just feels like move on to the next thing but i really have been feeling like i'm quite determined to feel it these days and like take the moments even though i know that there is no like now i feel like i am i'm basking in three million i'm seeing the number three like oh my god i'm a three million girl yeah it is bollocks but i am trying to like um really like hone in on those moments where i'll just be like ordering my coffee and it suddenly hits me like oh my fuck what have we done like oh i'll be on my work and i'll just think oh my god three million people i literally couldn't be more proud of us it's so insane and i'm so happy for all of us it just trying yeah try and feel that well i was just gonna say like there was a real extended period of time i remember i remember thinking like how

do we find them like the people who are gonna listen like where are they like yeah like they must be there like so where are they like how do we talk to them and then it's like oh my god you found us like oh we were looking for you you found us like we were searching high and low and you found us thank you so much everyone thank you it really is like insane because i i remember the times so i can really feel the times yeah when i would look at the stats and i would see like 12 listeners 12 why is 12 like it must have been 12 for a while it must have been 12 for you must be stuck on 12 for ages but it's like 12 yes 12 where did those new three come from yes 12 and we would literally be like that must have been that

girl who dm'd us like it would literally be i reckon that's that person who commented on our post yeah like it's insane it's actually crazy now to see a number that you i couldn't count that number it's like i couldn't to be honest it's being that i couldn't i could barely count like 300 so but i really definitely could not count three million thank you so honestly thank you so much yeah i've enjoyed it half as much million thank you so honestly thank you so much yeah i've enjoyed it half as much as we have because that means you've had an absolute ball a blast of a time an absolute blast but good luck for winter like we'll be with you every we'll be feeling the same hope you've been storing everything you need in your cheeks

yeah um and i hope it's been helpful like also i just kind of want to say like in terms i feel like i got a bit bleak there about, like, almost just, like, you go in the dark, you come back in the dark. No, yeah. And no disclaimers. There's no disclaimers. But that's without saying. We know where you're coming from at all times.

Oh, I'd hope so. But I kind of want to make it quite clear that, like, don't put any pressure on yourself in terms of, like, go with the seasons of your life not only of the year like right now yeah you might be in a situation that feels like oh god it's stressful i go there in the dark i come back in the dark but it's like the amount of times where i've been in situations where i feel like god this is gonna last forever i'm stuck i'm not having a good time and then as soon as it goes again you can't feel it you forget it and it's on to the next thing like just trust the timing trust the seasons of your life think about how many challenges you've had that you can't even really remember what they felt like yeah exactly it's

like i know i had an essay due the next day that i couldn't fucking do and i was stressing about it and now i can't even fucking feel it there was a time if anything it sounds like a guy that you would not even look at now let's remember this what a joke and that's not to undermine the struggle but it's just to acknowledge the things that we are capable of getting through honestly strong team strong the strongest team strong team a winning A winning team. Oh, through and through. You don't need to promise. Assume the worst. Assume the worst.