Goes Without Saying - how to elevate your life: That Girl, but make it realistic

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on elevating life, silly little treats and That Girl habits, goals, routines, realistic self-care, feminist flat-pack furniture and other ground-shifting musings. we do our own stunts.shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay?

So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Goes Without Saying. You're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Wing. And I'm Sefi. This is such a nice, cosy episode. We're still in the kind of New Year, January mindset, but not in an angry way, not in a pressured way, in a cosy way, in a nice way, in a helpful way,

hopefully, if I do say so myself. We're coming in with just nice, calm, friendly vibes. All the ways that we can elevate our lives, make life easier for ourselves, make life more fun, more pleasant more pleasant more enjoyable as we should enjoy gosh wow commiserations how are you um yeah should we get this all out of the way yeah we're just not feeling i'm just i'm just being tired which is the most boring thing sorry no no no how dare you excuse you i was actually thinking this earlier okay so basically yeah let's get this

out of the way just a second ago i was having a bit of breakdowns kind of crying my eyes out no big deal and then in my head i was like oh that's really annoying to come on the podcast and be like i was just crying it's not as if people as if people would be like shut up like oh that's so annoying and then i was like well it's not your fucking podcast is it so i can say what i want actually wait who are you arguing you know who you're arguing with it's just the version of yourself that hates you in the version it's me the evil evil wing evil evil yeah but i was thinking god forbid we come on our own podcast and like be a bit annoying sometimes hey i have been thinking about this recently because oh yeah i just think about the things

like almost when you tune into the odd sentence like i think you said it a few episodes ago where it was like the cracks of the something like self-love of the cracks or something like just a mortifying sentence just undeniably uh-huh and i do think there are so many areas of this that you could tune into which are so sincere and like some bits that are so embarrassing like lame jokes and stuff and there's a bit of me that's really embarrassed by it it's like oh god please don't listen there's a bit of me that's like god i love that there's a really kind of chaotic but sincere version of us um yeah people listening to i love it no i i love it so much i love it so much it's important yeah it's important for the human race

guys actually it's an important step in the right direction for all of us um but yeah no coming in with a weird energy so hope everyone's in the mood to receive that. Yeah, I hope you are. Also, do you have anything else to get off your chest before we kick in? No, I'm also just coming from a weird energy. I have not, I literally woke up this morning, went to my grandma's house. I've been there all day, kind of dry, like I've been in a bloody car on the motorway and I've literally been, and now I'm here. So it's almost like I don't know where I am. Yeah.

Well, thank you so much and i just had to get that off my chest i'm glad you did i'm glad you did we're with you um i wanted to say oh i wanted to say right at the beginning right off the top that we will be in cambridge yes right should we say that quick get it get it out We have said, and we're going to say it again, and we'll keep saying it. Until the day is done. Until the day is done. Until we see it through. We will be at Cambridge University on the 23rd? 23rd of January, 2024. Four. First time I've said that out loud, maybe. loud maybe that's weird um don't know what time don't know where don't know when we'll give you more details near the date but if you live in the cambridge sheer area vicinity yes please come you want you fancy an easy commute up from london etc you will be on the trains that day too you might bump into us there would love to see you guys in cambridge would love to see you guys in cambridge cambridge university who let us in yeah well i'm thinking it's a bit of i know saltburn's oxford

but i'm i'm seeing it as a bit of saltburn vibe yeah i'm almost thinking do we go with a kind of venetia angle i'm up for that do you see what i mean yeah period blood in the mouth we kind of yeah we kind of come in cheeky girls yeah i'm up for that i'm up for some cheeky girl nice behavior right well i'm glad we got out of the way yes let's get in yeah elevating our life in a nice easy way i have to say actually we were just laughing but the so we asked on the story for small ways that you elevate your life kind of in the like you know it like the kind of that whole thing of like girls elevate my life elevate my life elevate you have to do this you have to have you seen this thing that's like are you low visual weight or high visual weight have you seen that give me more

what does this mean no you don't want it sometimes i just hate the internet no no exactly it's a load of shit high visual weight and low visual weight i think it's something about the balance of your features are like a certain feature is more prominent or something like that but it's one of those other it's another bit of bullshit we're dear pretty boy pretty high visual weight pretty oh my god it is just a new bit of bullshit i'm kind of in the that girl vicinity this conversation i've seen a bit but i thought it's quite nice like people would basically post a video on tiktok and be like can you put in the comments like small ways that you make your life better or easier or just like fun little hacks

that can just spruce up my life and it's like loads of girls in the comments being like i do this i do this and i thought that would just be nice so then when we put it on the story just moments ago small ways that you elevate your life please loads of responses came in and they're really like sweet and wholesome it's actually cheered me up let's have a look through some really i really needed that guys thank you yeah i need all the tips i can get honestly because we were kind of saying before we started recording i was like if we're looking for ways to make our lives easier so well i definitely don't do that i definitely at the moment make my life harder yeah some may say like every day maybe yeah so wouldn't it be nice if we just shook that up a little bit for the new year as well i hate to

say it yeah always for the new year i'm also really only just it's the 7th of jan when we're recording this i'm just getting into i think tomorrow it was supposed to be today and then i didn't do it because i was out all day when i but today was supposed to be my day in the house but then i'm gonna do everything i was gonna do today tomorrow but i think i'm gonna hopefully sort of tidy my space yeah get everything fine kind of spruce get my new year's resolutions in order all of that stuff which i've been wanting to do obviously since the first but just haven't done i've been hearing people i was on the tube the other day and i heard people being like i just need to tidy my room i just need to tell my room it's like god the january

the january beginnings of january people really want to tidy their room to tidy their room nothing else but to sort their lives out funny you should say that because the other day i'm actually a bit of a diy darling you're a diy darling i actually really am i built a whole chest of drawers the other day by myself because they came and i was like well i'm not gonna wait i'll just do it myself and then oh my god did i tell you we got a new table and chairs yes you did you did yeah we got dining table and chairs yes and we did those yesterday and actually my boyfriend was doing those with me and it took like two seconds and i was like really bummed because i was like this is such easy stuff it's like screwing a couple legs on big deal and i honestly sat in my room i must have gone through like two seasons of

the office like i was in this room all day it's my nightmare god it's fucking dark outside and i'm still on the last like four drawers like it took so fucking long anyway i did it congrats thank you thank you guys thank you um i appreciate that i was thinking kind of on the cumulative habits thing that we were talking about yeah about like not just going into the new year being like my goal is to drink two liters of water every day starting from the first of jan oh third of jan i fucked it guess i'll have to wait till next year yeah but looking at the year this is not our idea by the way but looking at the year of like 12 months and picking 12 kind of focuses for each month yeah

and stacking them so like and so january for me has been just like decluttering and doing the sprucing and doing the tidying of the room and just cleaning my mind and my space and just feeling a bit of freshness in life alack cue the chest of drawers enter yeah chest of drawers enter the chat um that was all really i wanted to say that i made a chest of drawers enter yeah chest of drawers enter the chat um that was all really i wanted to say that i made a chest of drawers and i feel happy about it i guess the americans would call it a dresser a dresser um so i built can you imagine build by myself things yeah yes such a feminist act i must say so feminist because i remember when i put together my bed and this was in the so in the first i have an issue with building furniture i hate it so much i hate it so much oh like it's awful nothing frustrates me more

because i just hate it so much it's kind of mad sorry to bring it up first year of uni when i got like a new bed my granddad came and like did it for me second year he did the same third year do you remember i hired that little child to come and build it you did i basically or something right no well i had basically tried for i think i took two maybe three hours trying to do it obviously freaked out oh i've just done a weird thumbs up on on our face time that's weird i had that in therapy the other day where I did something and a thumbs up bubble appeared. So bad. So bad.

I was like, why are there bubbles on your screen? And it doesn't... I don't have one. That's really sad. It's the new Apple update or something. I don't know. It's funny that it shows up. It does like fireworks.

Go on. Maybe say congratulations. Congratulations. No um i don't know but there's one where like registering or like a heart you can get yeah but i didn't do that to my therapist that'd be embarrassing um but i spent hours and hours and hours trying to build this bed couldn't do it and i And I hired, basically, I wrote on the Facebook group, the Brighton Facebook group. Yeah, it was. Does anyone, could anybody, please, anybody come help me make my bed?

I'll pay you. And this little child came over. Someone said, my son's coming over now to build it. And it was like this 14-year-old boy. And I remember being like, can I get you a tea, coffee, anything? He said, have you got any juice? Yeah he's never got any juice anything you'd like and he kept being like no no no and at the end he was like please can i have a glass of water and i ran up and got him a glass of water and he downed it so fast and i was like oh my god it's like it was first i was making this boy so parched i'm so embarrassed his little child i did offer him a

lot but then when i built my bed the one of the millions time i've had to move i got a new bed built it and i remember thinking because it would after my granddad had just died and i was like i'm so proud that i didn't have to get my granddad to come and help me because i couldn't and i didn't hire a little random little boy to go and build it. You were your own granddad and you were your own little boy. I thought I can be the little boy that builds the bed. Yeah. If that little boy wanted to be. If the little boy could do it, I can do it.

The little boy in you. Yeah. He can do it. Took over. And it took me, yeah, again, probably like you. A few seasons of The Office. Yeah. To do it.

A few seasons of the year, maybe. A few seasons of the year. And season of the year and it's like Bella Swan sat in the window literally it's all spinning around the tree the leaves are falling off the tree it's snowing still no sign of Edward no um and yeah the bed got built and god it was such an achievement actually empowering actually whoa you did that do you remember so when my boyfriend was in new york last year i think yes when he was he was gone for like five days or something and i was like i'm gonna redo everything yeah and i like got rid of loads of the furniture i changed it all over and

i built all the stuff by myself and i felt like such a little boy yeah i felt like that child i felt so good by the way probably about 20 yeah which is crazy he's probably he's divorced yeah yeah no he's got some kids on the way yeah i felt so good about it and i remember saying to you at the time i feel like when you this is so obscure and like pathetic but when you build something guys just you and me for a sec say you build something right be it a house be it some flat pack furniture yeah i feel like it kind of warps your mind a little just it opens your perspective a little bit like i would look before building anything yeah i would look around and i would just see a wall or i would just see a shelf or i would just see the door but then when you start building yeah when you

become a builder like me you open your mind to like oh no that's not just a wall that's like got that's kind of got the groove in it yes rivets of i could i could plumb into that i could like almost you just i could plumb we're not there yet we definitely couldn't plan we could not i could plum i could never more like we could tile i think i could i could put up a frame i could i could yeah yeah i could put a frame if i had command strips but almost like you see things in a different way of like you see the um how like malleable the resources of like the world aren't not just like oh this is a box and it cannot be moved and i just have to deal with the box but almost like things become changeable to you think like life just becomes more fluid in a way i just almost think say a man a young man

he's 21 years old little carpenter probably the boy probably the young boy probably that guy boy he definitely looks he views the world differently yeah because he knows that he can change things knows the mechanism to his liking yeah he knows the mechanisms he knows what might work better and he feels confident in his own ability to like execute that and i do feel like doing like small things like putting together a fucking ikea bed or whatever which is no it's no small feet it's no it's no small feet it's actually like i don't know no life changing let's say it is definitely ground shifting for sure it definitely is i do but

that's my january thing anyway it's just like finding little ways i can make my life more like streamlined and nice and easy doing a bit clear out i need to put stuff on vinted etc etc that sort of thing well that's kind of what i did today i took a huge i took two huge sacks of clothes to my grandma's house and my cousin was there i messaged her being like are you going to be there because i knew that she would take some of the clothes yeah and i was just going to take them all to the charity shop but she ended up taking a whole bag of stuff which was literally amazing it's like my old graduation dress is like really like things like that yes and i just saw on her be real like i gave it to her a few minutes ago she's wearing it out to the

pub tonight a jumps seat thing they gave her acas powers the world's best podcasts here's a show that we recommend nature i've got a gay rooster named francois so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson.

And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer. And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com. And I love seeing it getting another wear. Whatuit not the denim one yeah so she's taking the denim seffy that is so fucking weird because i was literally thinking about your denim jumpsuit

well i've got two because i got it in two sizes so i've the small one god it's not gonna fit me anymore so i've got the bigger one now so oh look balloons this when i did a peace sign balloons came out of the screen i need to turn this off because it's actually causing a few issues imagine i do this in a meeting yeah no that is a bit bad i'm like bye everyone and balloons and then i hang up it's really embarrassing bizarre it's like did that selfie girl just do a heart and then love hearts come out the street did she just manifest balloons did a load of balloons did she have them all under the desk and then ready to go waiting for the proper moment but yeah no she's got one of the jumpsuits now that's really which is really funny i was literally thinking about that yeah no they

are iconic she's got also she took it that's sephie season two outfit yeah they are they're all my season two outfits um and she's also got a a long-standing item the dress that i've worn three new year's in a row that i bought originally to be a mermaid oh i know the one i was like look this is just it's getting shorter and shorter as i grow older and older um and it's just there's no point me owning this anymore so i thought let's pass it on to the youths of the world and she loved it whole new lease of life oh my god she loved it i feel like that now is different to what it was then as well it kind of has a different she was like this is perfect like there was oh wow you know i knew what was gonna go down a storm she's seeing it with her new eyes yeah 100 wow

it's a divine dress i knew that it was good to be handing over oh good for her god it's her lucky day so yeah so i'm really in that clear out in the clear out zone should we look at what everyone else is doing because i actually want to take some ideas yeah no genuinely before we go in i feel like this whole conversation fits into the vibe of like kind of fighting against the idea that like you're not allowed to do nice things for yourself for whatever reason like it's um it's a bit like who do you think you are yeah it's sort of like or like kind of like how dare you value yourself, you crazy girl. But yeah, I guess that's the crux of life.

Go on, take us away. One that I just saw, which I could not agree with more. Yeah. And I think has been a transformative and now absolutely essential thing. Someone has said, buy nice olive oil. Oh, wow. And I have made the revelation in the last year probably the last year yeah my favorite food on earth is extra virgin olive oil oil i think that

is the best product best thing since sliced bread to be honest creation best thing with sliced bread it is oh my goodness it's the finest work the elevation uh-huh like between even even olive oil extra virgin olive oil then then if you go to a nice extra virgin olive oil oh my goodness it is worth the money it is so delightful like i just think that is my is my favorite food how are you consuming your favorite food these days your extra virgin olive oil i'll put a bit of olive oil on everything like so if i've cooked what would i put it on just kind of you you don't just kind of get me going a little bit okay you don't mind now for example say that i'm gonna have a little snack

of yeah i'm like uh hummus with like a little bit of something something i'll put a bit of extra virgin olive oil on the hummus yes yes boy does that take it to the next level as she should you know it does actually it does it's in the details it is in the details actually it's also like look i'm not i'm not 14 anymore and shout out to all the 14 year olds shout out hey i'm a grown woman yeah i can put extra virgin olive oil on my hummus by the way if i make avocado on toast you know what i'm gonna do little drizzles of extra virgin olive oil on that maybe some thick flaky salt always do you know what i like molden it's honestly like it's going this is really going down a storm with it is yeah it's getting me hungry but then i do the thing that

everybody kind of laughs at me for because i i love sort of seeds and things like that oh yeah i'm very much a seed and a nut lover i'm very much um of the sort of not reptilian what are they avery family what's the word ovarian what is it ovarian i would say ovarian no that's like oh that's like it's feeling what's better like yeah i would have said i would have said i was gonna say ovarian but it's like a v i a i think it is let me google what family i'm from no that's people from the North. That's Northeast Caucasian people. Very. Wait, bird. What is it?

Bird family. Kind of like, yeah, like species. I've just Googled bird family. Bird family. Slovenian family. What? What do I? Kind of like.

It's almost like reptiles, mammals. Yes. Mammals. And birds. Poultry. Poultry. I'm definitely from the poultry family. Jesus. Yeah. Look, I'm in the poultry poultry i'm definitely from the poultry family jesus yeah look i'm in the poultry fam okay so you're a bit of a bird you're a free bird i think yeah i think so i'm soaring flying

there's a star in heaven that i can't reach no so true um but i would add extra virgin olive oil to every single thing i would go to seeds what like no say i have like avocado on toast or something like that or to be honest i'll do i'll do it on like pasta if i make like a delicious pasta thing we're having some olive oil like wow i just think god i'm starved that really is a way to elevate my life like i love it like i love it catch me on the train to cambridge it could be better okay yum um so i completely agree with that person that said buy a nice olive oil god who said that it's your soulmate her name's laura i couldn't agree agree more

i have one yeah i think that's what i want elevation yes we're coming into winter summer now so it's not really relevant to a lot of people unless our australian listeners are here coming up to winter shout out although i don't know how cold it gets there but i think this is a real winter elevation yeah the amount and it's a real example of like not caring the way we don't care for ourselves we just neglect ourselves i often get into bed and i think fucking hell i'm freezing i've got a jump not like not like you know like a sweatshirt whatever you're in your warm clothes whatever you've got your little fluffy socks on whatever but it's like i'm still cold the effort that it feels to go downstairs fill up a hot water bottle in the cold kitchen and do that it feels like an insurmountable

amount of effort at this point yeah you're already in bed but just go and do it just go and do it like the elevation of your bed experience when it's warm and there's a hot water bottle in it quality of life it is actually an essential thing if you're're cold, fix it. I do have my hot water bottle. Honestly, I would say six out of seven days of the week. Like almost every day, I would say. I would say pretty much every single day. I'll get ready with my hot water. Like I'll have a hot water bottle for the night

and I'll have a hot water bottle when I'm getting ready, like sat getting ready and I'll have it like on my lap. On you. Yeah. At all times. It's needed. And actually my boyfriend was saying, and I said this

to you the other week remember i was like there's a real gap in the market for cool hot water bottles but you were talking about us doing that as merch for we're not necessarily much but like a company you want to start i don't really know if i want to start a hot water bottle company well i think you should hold on to it don't let it go too quick honestly i'll be open-minded you'll be and you'll you'll i'll be eating my hand you'll get you'll come up yeah when someone hears this and they think you know you know what that she's right yeah there is no there is a market i agree there's a real market but thing is you were posing that like we were talking about being chocolatiers and then i was posing it like i'd rather be chocolatiers to be Well, I'm seeing them in the same world.

Comfy girls eating chocolate, I agree. Yeah, just the cosiest girls you've ever seen in life. Yeah, I like it. I like this. I'm really happy about this. Should we just reel some off to give people ideas? Yeah. Oh, that's when someone said,

reminding myself that I'm going to die one day. Oh, that's nice. I kind of get where you're going, but it wasn't really what I was looking for at that moment. But also, I completely do get that. Yeah, no, I do. So, listen to your fave song. Go outside. Tea, hugs, and moving your body in whatever way.

Turn the hot water on and just sit in the shower and do nothing. DIY steam room. Oh, now you're talking my language. Someone said listen to Sephie and Wing. Try and cook really good food, like at a restaurant. Light a candle, put on music and eat wow can we actually speak about on the music note yeah one thing i want to get off my chest i have said it before but i realized last year i think i was like god i'm listening to but i'll say i was

listening to my tears ricochet by taylor's yeah every day of my life yeah yeah and that is probably not the best idea for someone who like is it a really sad song it's kind of the most devastating song you've ever heard in your life it's kind of the most harrowing awful so sad and i i think i just realized last year i was like god i okay my favorite kind of music is like like, sad music. That's fine. But that is going to make you feel so sad every day. It's going to drag you down. It's going to drag you to the pits of hell. Yeah, it will. Or, like, if you're already in the pits of hell, it's going to keep you there.

And I can't be doing that. So I kind of had a bit of a thing where I was, like, because I had this realisation where I was, like, I wouldn't watch a sad film every day. I wouldn't watch a, I wouldn't read a sad book every day. I wouldn't watch a sad film every day i wouldn't watch i wouldn't read a sad book every day i wouldn't watch a sad tv show every day i don't even like watching sad like tiktoks and stuff like i'll scroll past quite quick because i know it's gonna get to me and yet there i go again hit replay my tears ricochet devastating also it's quite we really as a society actually underestimate the power of music like oh one of the things that i

learn when very quickly actually as somebody that loves horror movies when you see all these fucking idiots in the cinema they're scared scared scared what do they do yeah cover their eyes uh-huh silly silly billies let me tell you now the visuals in a horror movie are not what you're scared of if you cover your ears kind of plug your ears, the fear goes completely. The visuals are nothing. The sound is everything. Sound is everything. I learned it very quickly and I tell it to people constantly.

Don't cover your eyes, cover your ears. And it's the classic thing. We forget the, have you ever seen those trailers? And it's like, I was literally the shining edited as if it's a comedy, the comedy, the office edited trailers and it's like i was literally the shining edited as if it's a comedy the comedy the office edited as if it's a horror movie yeah music is everything editing is everything and we forget that the soundtrack to your life is sad sad music you're going around the um supermarket listening to lana you're going to be sad like i misery got definitely definitely have made myself sad before

because i want to be kind of a bit melancholy on the train slinking through the aisles looking for the olive yeah i'm looking for the olive olive olive olive i was trying to do something looking for the olive oil i've definitely been on a plane before looking out the window and thought let's get a bit sad now yeah that'll be cute yeah but you forget that if you wake up in the morning and listen to my tears ricochet ricochet it's the most genius song ever sounds amazing you know it you know that yeah i know my tears ricochet yeah but what a genius concept to be like look at the way that you hurt me now is hurting you back like my tears my devastation oh god it's genius and she says you can aim for my heart go for blood but you would

still miss me in your bones you could aim for my heart go for blood but you'd still miss me in your bones wow shivers i've actually just i saw a thing actually talking about taylor swift's lyrics that was like she often uses that technique i've actually forgotten what it's called but it's a technique a double entendre yeah no but it's not a double entendre it's like you set it up with a duo of things like um she does a twist or whatever it is yeah right but you change but you use one that's a homophone that has another meaning it's just like that's cover it's it's her country route yeah it's such a storytelling girl yeah she's taking you on a journey yeah but for me it was a sad journey i mean i'm still listening

to it every day of my life but it doesn't have to be like every day my tears ricochet yeah they can't be ricocheting every day it's too much yeah no they can't i think we're wrapping this up yeah i do i think that's a really nice episode so do i just just doesn't it feel like we've been everywhere here there and everywhere i don't remember where we were at the beginning neither i can't wait to find out beginning to end um thank you so much god thanks so much everyone it's nice to be back on our sort of schedule i'm liking it i i'm liking the kind of january i could do with more even yeah always could do more so maybe this week let's get a few in not not for you guys i just mean internally between sephie and i let's just

start working out our recording days well yeah that sounds perfect um i could do tomorrow and tuesday let's do tuesday if you can perfect and maybe tomorrow oh we'll see we'll see let's discuss it just keep that between us cool okay and we'll see you at cambridge hopefully see you at cambridge please come please come like i don't want to put myself out there but i really do want to see you there i would on because it was our favorite mean a lot maybe just i'll just say one little thing yeah we once had well quite recently had to do a thing where we had to say our proudest moments going around the room and we both instant and we had to speak to your partner we were each other's partner and then feed them back but unfortunately we both had the same proudest moment which was

manchester when we spoke at Manchester Uni and it was the people afterwards that we met. That was just such an amazing moment. Oh, it was so amazing. So this is why we're like, please come because God, it means so much to us. It means so much. Anyway, but yeah, we'll see. Yeah, we'll see.

But it would be nice to see you, but there's no pressure. But please, please, please please my life depends on it okay cool well if you don't hear from us assume the worst I'm going to go. Cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet.