Goes Without Saying - how to *feel* festive: podmas #9

Episode Date: December 9, 2023

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Episode 9. We've came through that first week. I can't believe. Okay, so this is Saturday's episode. That is crazy. Welcome to the weekend, guys. You made it. Welcome to the weekend.

Bringing you into the weekend with the sounds of Sephie and Wig. That's really like a GTA radio station. How's everyone feeling this fine weekend? Bloody hell. Well, how are you feeling? For us right now, it's Friday night. It's the Friday night, yeah. It's five to six on the Friday weekend.

Friday night, guys. It's late at night. How are you feeling? Well, you know, I felt better, but I think this episode would be quite apt because we've just spent the past, like, basically hour kind of moaning to each other about all of the wrong in the world.

I just about to lie. Classically. So I feel like this will be nice to kind of help people who are feeling a little the wrong in the world classically so i feel like this will be nice to kind of help people who are feeling a little bit down in the dumps and yeah and um want to kind of get into the spirit and feel good what about you i feel like it's one of the things that people always say just like i'm not feeling christmasy yet and i think i say all the time i just don't feel christmasy yet just don't feel christmasy yet or like it's just this whole christmas i

haven't felt christmasy at all and i hate that feeling because i used to fucking love feeling christmasy i feel like when you're younger and you're in a lucky and privileged position feeling festive and christmasy is kind of something that happens to you and as you get older it isn't passive anymore it isn't just something that happens to you you have to do it to yourself you have to like force yourself into feeling that like positive sparkly christmas magic-y way which gets harder and harder the more you open your eyes to how shit this world can be also like when you're in that school environment the hype is built up to almost like a sickening amount like i remember lying in bed on christmas eve like thinking like i'm gonna i'm gonna be sick i'm so excited like i'm like gonna i don't know i'm gonna almost faint be sick i burst into tears like many times receiving a present just from the overwhelm

of like almost like god i can't believe this is happening to me yeah i've got nintendogs oh my god isn't he gonna cry i even cried when i got um i got animal crossing for the 3ds i don't know which one that was i think it was new leaf and this was like when i was quite old like i was probably like 18 19 but i cried like out i like ran out of the room and cried because it reminded me of that first feat of the first thing of like crying and getting my like getting my ds and getting nintendogs i mean that's and i was almost like that it hits me so hard seeing like a game in a box i kind of start like sobbing but like when you're younger that countdown is almost bought built into your syllabus of your life at school it's like right we're rehearsing for a

nativity we're watching a dvd on the last day it's built in that excitement is just like it's part of the kind of the christian agenda of um school at times that you're doing all this stuff and now you just don't really have that if you're in charge of your own routine totally because you're doing it now for yourself and i think for a lot of us like it's kind of what did you say the other day that you were like oh it was when you were talking about advent calendars um and you were like for the, it was when you were talking about advent calendars. And you were like, for a few years you just didn't have one because your mum stopped buying you one. Oh my god, I haven't had my chocolate yet today. Neither have I.

And I didn't have yesterday's, Jesus Christ. Neither have I, I'm way behind. What the hell? I know, look at me, I'm a mess. Well, I might have it now. Can't stay on top of anything. Yeah, you should. Wait, wait for one second for me to get it.

Absolutely. Yum. Here it is is what's it got on the front i really don't like the design they've done this year okay well i didn't see it last year either this year this year i don't like it so it's holding a bit of chocolate but i don't find it an impressive design i think he's pretty cute and he's blue but he's yeah he's gonna look back to them blue when you've opened all the doors all over oh my god i guess oh my god i haven't had seven or eight i'm gonna do them in order seven yeah nice let this be a little moment for you guys too yeah everyone get their choccy asmr but

i can't get it out what was it and it's gone bit in it what was the design oh there's no design they're all the all the same there are um they're 24 creamy chalk drops alexa turn off 24 creamy chalk drops yum they're all the same oh that's what he's holding good for him that's what they all look like little kind of reindeer shits because my mum when she opened her first one she was like so this time i've got like a little teardrop yeah that's what i was gonna say yeah it's like kind of teardrop of all the horrible christmas has passed i think that's a bit of a thing as well when you've had maybe like one or two or three or maybe multiple like shitty christmases you're then not only fighting against like the kind of mundane apathy of being an adult on planet

earth but also the kind of living memory of the shit experiences that you've had in previous years and like i think something that's really hard to stomach but it is actually just true is that there's no other way around it other than like it's kind of nobody's coming harry it's like no one's undoing those memories for you and no one is building a gingerbread house for you and getting you to sit down and if you're you know on your own no one's putting christmas music on for you that's on you like no one is encouraging you to make plans with your friends and i think if these are tendencies that you have like generally in life to like neglect neglect yourself and like not invest in time and things that are going to make you feel good when it comes to the festive

season when there's so much social messaging around like quality time and everything yeah it's such a heightened experience to feel like you're kind of it's quite isolating i think i had a therapy session recently which was quite different i'm like in the process right now i'm on like my ninth session so like i don't know how many the nhs usually give you i think it could be like 10 or 12, but I think I've got 12. But one of the sessions, it was kind of a one-off episode. Like one-off episode. Shows up in my life. It was a pocket episode. It was a special little crossover episode.

It was just a one-off special guest episode. It was the Hanamontana on deck. Jesus Christ. That actually is quite telling. That was like, I'm going to cry. That's bad. That was excitement level of i can't handle this yeah and the and the disney channel games that was also i'm gonna be sick if

i'm not on the blue team wowza oh my god that cuts to myself inside like almost like oh my god i'm with mitchell moose come on mitchell we've got to win awful um and what's his name corbin blue corbin blue and it's like how am i gonna style this uniform that they've put us in like i need to look good in the kit you don't want to be team yellow in my opinion but well i didn't um but in my pocket episode um special guest starring therapy session we did a sort of session about how to get your values into your day sort of thing or like core needs into your day so she was like the night before because just because I have a tendency just kind of go through my life without thinking like am I happy did that make me feel good like why did I do that thing like blah blah blah in the most common way but like she was like if everyone needs to fit three things

into their day like connection pleasure and achievement in the most basic way and they can be anything like you could literally write down like structure your day the day before like not in a strict way but almost write down connection stroke my dog 9 30 um doesn't need to happen at 9 30 but you plan to do a little nod or like a little thing that's achievement today record this podcast good i feel good about it i can remember that i actually achieve something yeah and like pleasure rather than just like i'm drinking my hot chocolate before i know i've had my hot chocolate i've just moved on it's like no that was your moment of pleasure enjoy your hot chocolate yeah it's actually so nice and it's almost like as well not going through your life by accident. It's like, oh, I accidentally

like had a hot chocolate. I didn't really think much of it. I just did that whilst I was on my way to whatever. It's like really setting the moment and being like, giving yourself some structure. And I'm just going to use the word intention, even though for some reason I'm fighting it. Because it just feels so like wishy washy. but it is intention no it is and that's what feels nice about it that you've been like I want to feel a connection with the world or with someone or something and now I'm going to structure that into my day so that I've been like or not even don't even just structure it in a strict way but be like right now I feel like what I'm lacking is connection okay here are my ways in which I can connect with someone I can text one of my friends I can listen to a podcast or music or film or something that makes me feel seen and connected

to the world go on a walk I can do all these things that I can speak to someone in a shop like it can be that little read a book whatever but actually having the intention to be like I think that is what I need right now yeah by actually listening to kind of your body and being like what does it actually want right now is a really really i think important lesson to learn and and um i know what i want and i deserve to give it to myself sort of thing it's like not just like oh well now what like oh everything's shit sort of thing and just kind of sitting in the discomfort of life but being like okay so many things i can't change but i can do three minor things tomorrow for myself and also the minor things i think when you feel shit you almost think that it takes a big thing to get you out of it

in my experience i can do the most tiny things don't make me say tiny my room again but it can be the most tiny thing i can go make a cup of tea just the intention to go and do something so tiny and actually following through with it and like taking the moment it's like oh shit like it was a tiny action that could have got me out of four hours of spiraling i do think with mental health like it's a very cumulative process especially because yeah the cycle can either be really destructive and i think we can all acknowledge like when we're in a destructive cycle but conveniently we think that there can't be like an upward kind of spiral like yeah it can only go down yeah we're like oh well classic you do one thing and it leads to another and then before you know it you're in the pits blah blah blah but it's

like okay but wouldn't it also be nice to acknowledge try yeah try and appreciate the idea that maybe you could also hit an upward spiral and do one little thing that leads to another little thing that gets you out of the pits and makes you feel good but when obviously you're feeling shit all of this nonsense is gonna make you feel so annoyed so feel free to step out if this is too much but we're here for you. Oh, 100%. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois.

Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson, and this is a Field Guide to Gay Animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world.

The animal kingdom is queer, and we are a part. Find a Field Guide to Gay Animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com What are you going to say? Someone's just hovering outside my room. We've got a loiterer on our hands.

Still hot. Still hot. Students out of bed. Students out of bed. Are they going down the stairs? My room's in the place where the loiterer's loiter, I must say. Top of the stairs, summer vibe. Okay, the loiterer's gone.

Good. Not that it matters, but Jesus Christ. We're telling super if it's on here. We are. I'm trying to do a thing at the moment. I heard it on a podcast and I was like, oh, I do think that's really... It was like with a neuroscientist talking.

Oh, nice. And they were talking about the brain, as the neuroscientist would. Yeah, as they would, yeah. And they were talking about the way that we're so inclined to see the negative, like not even neutral or anything, where just everything is like, oh, I could try and do that oh well i'll probably fuck up i probably can't do

that but she was talking about how it's so important and actually does change the chemistry of your brain to be like oh i want to do this thing what if it all goes well and she was saying that every day she asks herself when she faces a challenge what's the best thing that could happen here and i just think god that is so different to how i think i always think oh it's inevitably like we're a different species inevitably wrong inevitably shit inevitably causes a world of pain for everyone just don't do it yeah sort of thing but actually just to think oh what's the best that could thing that could happen here it's like oh wait that just that isn't even unrealistic it's as unrealistic as the thing that could happen here it's like oh wait that just that isn't even unrealistic

it's as unrealistic as the thing that i was imagining which was the so i'm gonna probably settle somewhere in the middle now very nice and i love it yeah i love that i love that what are some things that you are doing or maybe want to do to make yourself feel a bit festive at this time of year i don't think i've watched a single christmas movie other than the one we watched together oh yeah but that didn't really that was a different christmas movie we we went basically we went to this like sky cinema event which was amazing but we were more focused on the food they just kept like kind of funneling they were plying they were really like they were trying to fatten us up bottoms up pieces up we Bottoms up. To cook us on Christmas. Pieces up. We came out of that feeling so sick. I mean, I was drunk.

I was like really like. I wasn't. I only had one drink. I was properly drunk and full to the brim. The drinks were so sweet. I actually couldn't stomach them. But, and they were just like fruity. My opposite of, like one was like tea flavoured.

You did forget that you were driving for a moment there. But it was lucky that the drinks were so sweet yeah because i couldn't drink them the most sweet one was the non-alcoholic one which was crazy yeah that was horrific go on when i mean a christmas movie i mean like home alone i want to watch like any nostalgic christmas movies nativity one santa claus no never santa claus what why never santa claus i've just never seen it yeah you don't you don't you're not open just doesn't it's like it doesn't really have the home aloneness to me no it doesn't have home aloneness completely different ball game i need cheeky cheeky cheeky santa claus is is cheeky gonzalez i used to really have a crush on the guy especially in the second

one i think okay like the little boy not tim allen not. Not the dad. Not Santa. Spoiler. But it has really beautiful melodies in it, like Bernard the Elf, he's great. And they say things like, a rose such a clatter and things like that. Oh yeah, you said that, yeah. That's kind of built into me. We should watch them at some point.

Oh, 100%. Maybe we should get into the Christmas spirit. No, we need to, we need to. Yeah, I don't think I feel, I saw something today that made me feel really Christmassy and into the Christmas spirit. No, we need to. We need to. Yeah, I don't think I feel... I saw something today that made me feel really Christmassy and in the weirdest way. I walked past at the community cafe. I walked past.

There's like a table that's like, help yourself. Like, it's all free. Just take anything from it. God, you've never told me that before. There weren't these Christmas cards on there. Wow, see me there tomorrow. It was so cool. There were like loads and loads of pink wafers on there the other day nice and i was like pink wafers did you take them they weren't vegan

i checked the ingredients i was like oh no one's gonna eat them okay but i did think pink wafers god i haven't and they went like like hotcakes like pink wafers honestly guys and but today there were these quite ugly christmas cards and i got such a flashback of, did you at school used to like all send Christmas cards into like an imaginary, there was like a big post box. Yeah, very true. And they'd go around the school and everyone would send like Christmas cards to everyone. It's kind of none for Gretchen Wieners by, that sort of thing. Yeah, it's exactly that.

None for Gretchen Wieners. It's literally that. It is. Glen Coco, whatever the fuck that shit is. It's exactly that and i just got it was just the the picture was like of this kind of girl angel with brown hair looking down and it was exactly the sort of thing that as a kid i would be like that's me that's me like i would have loved it and it threw me back just like the style of illustration it's like god i haven't seen that kind of festive semi-religious festive old woman cheap yeah kind of card that's in a pack of 50 in ages

and i want it from the help yourself table and did you take it no you know i didn't i might take it tomorrow you're you're a leader in the community oh boy am i no you really are you really are people were asking today about there was this woman asking um how's the thing that you do that i don't know what it is and someone else said it's a podcast honestly same i don't know honestly honestly and how is it good it's good it's going well but someone else then said oh i'm gonna tell my husband about your podcast because he's looking for new podcasts and i was like no no no no please no just divert divert the topic yeah terrifying territory just always like oh it's oh there's a customer one second oh i'm so sorry my dinner's ready i have to go yeah i think i think my phone's

ringing just absolutely terrifying husband shout out husbands out there i bet there are some someone's gotta be a husband some hate all the husbands out there? I bet there are some. Someone's got to be a husband. Some hate all the husbands out there. At quarter past six on a Friday afternoon. Yeah. How are you guys? Hi there to the husbands. Are you feeling festive yet? I felt festive in the cinema with you the other day.

Did you? Yeah, because there was an advert playing about like... Oh, you loved that advert. Because you were going to the toilet. Yeah, I went back from the toilet and I came back. She was like, look how good this advert is. I really came back and you were going to talk yeah i went back and i came back she was like look how good this is i really came back and you were like you were kind of beaming at me from this like from across the room and i was like god what was gonna happen like when i come and sit back down you were

like look at this advert it's so good i'm scared you're gonna miss it but it's like an audi advert right or like a saint yeah it's about but the whole thing is it's willy wonka it's like these selfish children in the chocolate river which we do love yeah oh you've seen it no i just meant willy wonka the person oh we love willy we love willy wonka but i do don't like willy he's a fucking pedophile he's a psychopath he's a murderer terrifying yeah murderous pedophile yeah really scary yeah can't wait to see his prequel yeah no no i genuinely can't wait can't wait yeah um i think that came out today actually yeah but wouldn't be surprised um yeah i'm glad you felt festive in the cinema the other day that's what i think it is i think like i mean that was a pretty

special moment i would say it was yeah because we had the luxury of like yeah watching salt burn in the cinema it was just we were in a really nice, like, I love that cinema so much. Divine, divine cinema. And we just had a perfect experience. But, like, I do think it's kind of what your therapist was saying, it's kind of the crux of the episode, is just, like, little, tiny, teeny, small things of, like, almost, you're getting ready, you can feel yourself in a bad mood,

and it's, like, put on a song that is so obnoxiously camp and, like, hysterically pop that you can't help but be like this is fucking iconic i'm laughing while i'm listening to it and then it kind of will shake you out of it like almost beat the like let the physical beat your emotional state to the punch of feeling shit yeah god that's stunning okay lovely podmas up nine hope you're feeling good we slayed so see you tomorrow oh we didn't open we didn't do our little oh god what's in the door we'll never know under the door is what was it today it was this it's how to feel good yeah oh we're idiots should we go back and put that in

yeah all right that's a little easy now you're hearing us now in that bit yeah okay what's behind the door? It's how... What was it again? I guess how to feel festive. Okay. Go again. What's behind the door? It's how to feel festive.

Woohoo. Assume we slay too hard. Bye. Bye. Assume we slay... Bethlehem. Bethlehem. you