Goes Without Saying - how to handle social anxiety: i'm just a girl!

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on strategies and remedies for anxiety, the dreaded university / workplace presentation, pressure, perfectionism, embarrassment, shame, fear, and self-loathing. the call is coming from inside the house... ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Like the story of a cabaret singer and a sex worker who invented safe sex and saved millions and millions and millions of lives. Go check out Resurrection wherever you listen to podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com. It goes without saying you're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Sefi. Sorry, I got distracted. Sorry. And I'm Wing. Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's classic intro.

No one listens to this, but anyway, do they? Hygienic issues. Today we're talking about social anxiety. I really think this is a great episode of you have something that you're feeling nervous for that's coming up soon. I hope we make you feel good and that we're all in this together. We've all been there. It's quite a mental, healthy, soft, nice, but also quite funny episode. Thank you.

So I hope you enjoy it. Do we, is this final call for Cambridge? Okay, final calls. The flight is boarding to Cambridge University. We're going to be there. If you want to come, sign up. On the 23rd of January at 5pm on the on the dot location is yet to be announced but somewhere at cambridge university somewhere in cambridge university we will be and there's a sign up link

on our instagram and if you sign up you're getting in and that will be fun that's what i hear anyway that's what i've heard that's all i've been told we also heard how many people have signed up and i'm excited now me it's like well people are actually coming i think people will come i'm excited to see yeah i'm excited to see everyone um well how are you anyway i'm good nothing really that new um just in the middle of kind of doing all like laundry and stuff just kind of having quite a homely just merry condoing you know i'm just doing my thing just doing my spring cleaning um beautiful but yeah nothing really that new how about you you're so kim and aggie what the fuck's that kim and aggie kim and aggie is that sephie and wing isn't it we are kim and aggie what's kim and aggie you don't know kim and ag me get these people you'll know them when you see them kim her name

is kim something kim woodburn maybe oh i remember her from yeah brother or whatever she was in yeah she was on i'm a celeb i think yeah oh she's got a horrid woman look i don't know anything about her but i remember watching an interview where she was like shouting at someone and she scared she was shouting at philip scofield i think yeah clearly i was on his side she had a premonition but what was the thing they were screaming about something about maybe it was colleen nolan actually it was like jesus this is real like uk audience yeah it is colleen nolan yeah she was on big brother yeah yeah but you know aggie who the fuck's aggie was aggie was her scottish friend and they would go around cleaning personality and cleaner yeah she's a famous cleaner this is what we do in the uk we make women clean and then

we make them famous on tv and then then she goes on an interview with philips gofield and shouts and everyone hates him kim does yeah but i don't know if kim and aggie are necessarily good friends anymore there seems to be a lot of questions asked on google are they still friends yeah i think there might be a bit of a riff not all hosting duos are best friends off screen and that's certainly not the case for kim wordburn and right but it's not the case for us it's definitely not the case for us no no it is oh it is the case yeah whatever the opposite we're not kim and aggie whoever the hell they are um oh i'm so tired yeah i'm so i'm so sleepy sleepy sleeping out yeah but i'm happy to be

here i'm excited for cambridge i'm excited for i'm going to see you in a couple days yeah i'm really excited for that yeah we're doing a recording day in a studio guys our first ever studio yeah we're going to a studio it's not like it's not our studio it's very much someone else's studio but we are being let in we're being we're knowingly entering our first ever time in a studio. Yeah, we'll be filming it. Maybe we should go live or something while we're there. I'm interested to know how that changes things.

We might be there as you listen to this. This is coming out on Thursday. Right now. And Thursday is the day that we're going to be there. Yeah, I'm interested to know, like, because the vibe of us is so intimate kind of we're talking through a screen to each other like we're in these little we're in the void yeah yeah i'm interested we're not kim and aggie we're not tv personality it's like we don't know what we look like i reckon

yeah exactly i think it will be interesting to know how sitting on a sofa across from you in like a studio environment i mean it sounds delightful i'm interested in how that will improve things you know or change things in any way i'm really intrigued for the experience just setting the tone here and now i don't know if you've thought about this but i am very much coming in a joggers 100 vibe 100 oh my god I was never going to dress up that's the tone I was setting I'm thinking it needs to be cozy I think we have hot chocolates

that sort of thing let's make it our own let's make it let's make it our own yeah yeah make this house a home somebody else's the people will be like

can you get out now you've got your slot from these hours can you fuck off but I am really also I'm quite concerned because i know that the office it's so it's a studio attached to an office and it's like they when we had a little tour of it and they were like oh it's soundproofed which obviously is soundproofed

but i'm gonna be so scared that like they can hear us in the house soundproofed is the question yeah exactly because we will be screaming the house down before i'm gonna feel awkward walking through a silent office opening this door and it's like well no one can hear you now it's like i think they can oh we'll have to get people to check yeah we'll have to get people in the office to like double check can you hear us please tell i'll have to check myself i won't believe anyone it's almost like you're gonna need to go in that room yeah yeah sure we can do that yeah no we don't need who do we don't need anyone else there's two women show exactly exactly yeah we can check yeah yeah but i'm intrigued for

that but that's um on the day you're listening to this i'm really looking forward okay so what we're talking about today we're talking about social anxiety yeah which is very topical because the nhs thing that we did went live yesterday yeah and we had to do like a letter to our past selves um and in mine i was talking about how i had social anxiety so fucking badly um yeah so bad that i would be like throwing up in the morning like so scared at uni so fucked up so horrific like couldn't go to lectures couldn't go to seminars seminars specifically were like absolutely horrifying to me um and really did overcome it throughout the course of uni still scared for those kind of

environments but also thriving yeah also i could go to them and all of the stuff which was so different and incredible and actually got to access the education that i was like literally desperate to have anyway um so yeah social anxiety okay perfect should we get in yeah let's get into it someone has replied that we loved well actually a lot of people have replied that we love but we saw one that we really liked go to so basically so we asked on the story as we always do so pretty much before every single episode we will ask on our instagram story what you think and then we will use your genius to create our content we will use all of your amazing insights intelligence insightful responses and take

them on as our own take them on as our own personality and feed them back through you in a sense yeah um kind of repackage them in a worse and more chaotic and annoying way yeah um if you want to be a part of that lovely experience i actually do love it because i feel like the instagram is a nice back and forth place like on the pod it's like okay we're speaking out into the void hope you can hear us yeah is this thing on is this thing on but on instagram it's like oh i can see you guys gorgeous lives you're living everybody's looking beautiful it's nice to have a chat over there for us on instagram for us on tiktok it's linked you know the drill but it's nice to have a chat over there for us on instagram for us on tiktok it's linked you know the drill but it's the best way to like lead the conversation this is always our main

space this podcast is our main space but i think it's nice i feel like there's a sort of the visual component component of instagram it's nice if you want to see us kind of little videos of us going around doing things yeah go to sephian wing yeah i think it's i think it's a nice cozy little instagram actually i like it i love it i like it a lot and if you want to join it would join i don't know follow us it would mean a lot to us if you would do that yeah and also it um it puts us into perspective i think i think it's nice that it's like we really exist we're not we're not um like secret ghosts who follow you around no yeah we're not we're really not secret ghosts we're not um yeah someone said

on the instagram which you can follow too if you have an instagram account someone said that they feel social anxiety anytime their face changes color blushing let's talk blushing shall we yeah yeah as a blusher yeah i wholeheartedly agree with this she is a blusher i english rose you really are an english no i no i really have that um skin color like the kind of um english quite a pinky um color like i definitely have their like you know how almost like your skin color has like a like a yellowy undertone to it mine has a pink undertone english english through and she's an english rose yeah and that lends itself to a little bit of blushing, I would say. Yeah, which is so, it's so cute.

If I get embarrassed, it shows. Everyone knows it and it's embarrassing. And I actually have a friend that used to be so scared of blushing. Like, blushing was, like, the big fear. And she used to, like, put quite a lot of, like, foundation, like, powder on to try and hide it. I've never been that concerned about blushing because it's not my like biggest tell my biggest time is when my voice like is oh that's my worst but i've had it so bad actually that this was in a seminar what was the go my most dreaded in my

dreaded environment where it's like go around the room and everyone say a fun fact or like we're going to read a passage and then we're all going gonna go back around one by one and and i say our thoughts hell i've had it where i was so scared of like the voice stuttering going red all of that that i like blacked out like i literally was talking and my vision went like it was so scary and i was so embarrassed like i was like oh my god i actually can't see like the room is like swirling black did you have to stop talking no i just like powered through i like said some absolute nonsense and like they moved on oh my god but like that was the worst sort of symptom i've ever ever ever had and i think the fear of blushing fear of an amonium increases fear of the thing itself hermione says the fear of going red or stuttering or whatever it

is amplifies the thing so much i in terms of like stuttering stumbling on your words when you're like reading a passage from a book or whatever in a seminar yeah that's a shaky voice it's like you're gonna cry that's that's a bad one but i remember i had a um tutor once who was saying not to me i want to be clear she was just saying to all of us which because there were a lot of people in the class who were nervous about doing a presentation and stuff like that and she was saying like if you're like what are you scared of like your kind of voice shaking or like yeah misspeaking or like saying a word right stumbling on your word sort of thing and she was like how embarrassed really would you be if you stumbled up a curb

like off a pavement sort of thing it's like yeah i guess it's a bit embarrassing but it's not like oh my god life ruining everybody look at what i just did that's the talk of the town for the next six months and it's not a reflection or it doesn't mean like oh god i can't walk anymore god she's bad at walking sort of thing it's not like oh god you're bad at speaking you're bad at presenting yourself you're bad at blah blah it's like it's none of that really it's just human it's just you stumbled on your words but then i feel like one has a self-conscious element and one has like an unselfconscious like if you stumble up a curve it's like a curb it's like oh she's clumsy she's like not aware of

stuff it's just like oh classic me but almost to stumble on your words in like that kind of I don't mind a mispronunciation or like a stumble or something what I was so scared of was with the like the nerves bubbling up from the inside and showing everyone like how terrified you are and you see that it's so bad i think it's i think it's as well like i think it's hard for people to be vulnerable in that way like it it feels like very exposing yeah to be up in front of people maybe or like talking and it's like yeah eyes are on you the ears are on you spotlight this is your moment yeah yeah but also that the way i kind of would always think about it is i do think exposure therapy was the key of like actually

going to the places and the more you do something the less terrifying it gets like that is just true the more you show up and i was like oh nothing actually happened or like oh i said my name and i went red and that was really embarrassing but i walked out of it i'm still alive like i'm still drinking my hot chocolate at the end of the day like i'm not um it didn't kill me um the more you do that the more you realize oh going red actually isn't a threat to my life in the way that i'm for some reason perceiving it to be i think as well at uni like i think because i don't know what it was i think maybe taking a year out and then going to uni so i was kind of well we were in the same year but there were a lot of people who were then in the year below us and i don't know if that informed my view but i feel like i would go to seminars and i feel like this is a good reminder if you're at uni or somewhere

like oh like you've just started a new job or something where you're feeling a little bit like out of your depth and a little bit like oh my god am i the only one here like does everyone know each other already that's what it felt like yeah but i would look around the seminar and be like it's a bunch of children you're all really scared like i would look around and see like loads of scared kids and i remember people taking the piss i would really have like they would call it a um like a bisexual seat the way that i would sit with my leg up in the chair yeah yeah really um not obnoxious but like you don't own the plate yeah but just almost like i'm trying to be comfy yeah yeah and i feel like using your body to dominate the space it tricks your

i don't know it just it almost just calmed it's like if you go in stiff as a board and act and tell yourself that you're scared you'll act scared you'll be treated like you're scared do you know what i mean you kind of maintain that yeah this is why do you remember me talking about how i would have to go into the toilet and toilets and do warrior pose yeah your body actually informs your mind so much like the connection is just like it's so much more than we like recognize in the society on like a daily basis i think it's just huge yeah but i would have to go into like the library toilets and stand in like warrior pose and there's another one you can do my friend's mom told me about which like hands on your hips

and you look like puff your chest out like wide leg stance sort of thing it's like a power pose power and she was like um it's famous that like a lot of like women ceos do this like they're known for like if you're going into a room of like men take up space and it's like fucking like i will before i go in pump my body up to be like i am fucking big and strong and then you walk in you forget you're just like the girl in the room of men. It's like, you know, I belong here. But I really did think that helped me so much doing. Warrior pose was the one that helped me because it's like, I'm fucking going to fight.

This is a fighting pose. I think there's so much in like the subconscious as well. Like the things that you tell yourself. Like I think there's no shame in being like, I'm scared. I'm anxious. I'm really nervous to do this. And I think it's no shame in being like i'm scared i'm anxious i'm really nervous to do this and i think it's fine to acknowledge okay no i'm feeling a normal level of anxiety going into whatever i'm about to presentation or something yeah and i'm not gonna torture myself over that like it's fine for me to feel that way there's also something to be said for saying at

the beginning it was a tactic that i would often try like or like it was i remember my therapist at the time saying like why don't you just like your biggest fear is being called out for like god everyone know being exposed everyone knew she was embarrassed why don't you before your presentation be like god i am so nervous for this and do your presentation it's like you've just said it the beginning you said i'm so nervous for this and there's a confidence yeah acknowledging i'm nervous right now and then doing the presentation and actually i would just do whatever it takes to get through the thing own it i'm so nervous right now yeah to come and be like oh my god you're looking at me i'm nervous like it's it's a fun you're putting on a show. Own it. It's your thing. Mm-hmm.

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a cast.com stunning that's yeah i also feel like this is a thing i learned about like at uni i also feel like i'm also like it's like a whole fucking it's not a thing but like it was just like it's an interesting phrase i always think about and because i was learning it at uni where my social anxiety was its worst um we were talking about it was like a 19th century feminist literature divine module obviously i wanted to be there despite my anxiety i needed to be in that room yeah um and we were talking about this phrase that was used a lot of like the legibility of the body and i always come back to it like that is what is the fear of social anxiety if like my body is betraying me blushing is that feeling of like my body's legible right now like it's readable

everyone can see my insides it's telling it's it's like outing me a bit it's telling on me i'm blushing and like how in like all those i don't know it was a really desirable thing for women to do um it's kind of she let her legs spread turn red said of like yeah men there was a desirability of like women blushing because it's like she's trying to be keep up with like society's composure of like she's um got pearly white skin but the redness is coming through that was like um i just and like fainting was such a desirable thing for women to do swooning yeah it's like he walks into oh god she faints she's so delicate and like lovely and now it's obviously but then it's like such an embarrassing thing for your body to be like

read by everyone and i always come back to the legibility of the body so interesting that's why i think as well in times like where you're feeling really anxious and out of body and you're feeling like disconnected from your body because you're so on edge and there's so much adrenaline and there's so much a hyper like hyper vigilant of the room around you and you're so like sensitive to the way you're being observed or not being observed and so um like so hyper aware of how you're coming across that you feel so actually out of your body in that moment and i feel like taking a moment like it's almost like wherever you are that you're not feeling too great you just take a moment and acknowledge like okay i'm

actually here in my body and i'm fine yeah i know that's really wanky but it's like i'm actually here in my body and i'm fine you're not actually there is actually not a threat it's also like i'm kind of look in the mirror and be like where did you go it's like oh i'm here yeah am i still here yeah yeah i just kind of feel your big toe it's like think about your big toe on your left foot it's like oh yeah it's there yeah i know it's like i can still feel all my body sometimes like when me and my when me or my boyfriend are stressed we'll say to each other where where are you where did you go that's kind of fleabag hot priest where did you go oh my god it's literally that yeah no but it's true it's like where are you where did who go oh my god it's literally that yeah no but it's true it's like

where are you where did who are you talking to it's like where are you where did you go like you're you're here in front of me but your mind is elsewhere like you're being carried off somewhere let's just pull it back like just get you back i love that because that is your feet like that's almost like you're kind of doing your bit to camera it's like where are you yeah it's like no yeah consumed in your own thoughts you're not here you're not here no it's like i'm looking at you but it's like but where did you go i love like it's fine it's okay you're still here yeah and most likely into a load of nonsense into a narrative that you create oh if you know me yeah then you know the nonsense the nonsense the nonsense i can do yeah The nonsense I can do. Yeah.

Okay, should we do see what someone else has said? Yeah, sorry, I'm just being really stiff. You? No, you're not at all. A lot of people are saying presentations at uni, which I do think that, and I don't even think it's limited to uni, but presentations any time when you have to stand up

at the front of the class or at the front of the meeting fucking room, do a thing on zoom to everyone us at cambridge whatever it may be i do think it's so vulnerable and i also think that is one of the few times in life where you're really allowed to be nervous like you are everyone can admit that that is um nerve-wracking scary all that stuff to just stand up and like say your thoughts to everyone and i think if you need to lean into it like everyone will acknowledge that that is scary that's not something that's like god why are you scared for that it's like

no presentation is a renowned nerve-wracking thing so just allow yourself don't feel any shame around that that's definitely don't feel any shame i also feel like there's so much power in like um just like your subconscious like i feel like i made a decision when i was like 14 or 15 to be like i love presentations like i love doing a presentation and like really enjoyed it and i literally since then have loved doing presentations and never been like oh no i'm gonna have to do a presentation yeah i do think the stories you tell yourself are oh my god the identity like i've just always told myself oh i always just love doing presentations like you identify i love the sound of my own voice i love doing presentations i really thrive in presentations but it wasn't necessarily true but it's like it's a belief it becomes yeah it just becomes a belief i love that also i think if you can channel your

nervous energy you can sometimes i wouldn't suggest this at all times because it is a state of denial but in like an emergency sos time where it's like you are about to go on stage or if you are about to walk into the party or whatever it is that's stressing you out the seminar whatever um and you feel so sickening sickeningly nervous you can sometimes trick yourself into being like i'm excited it's excited energy and like you just keep telling yourself like there's adrenaline but also that is a state of denial so i wouldn't recommend that for like daily basis i as well feel like in those moments when you've got a lot of stress focusing in on like something like walking into the party or you've got a presentation whatever like some sort

of thing you're focusing on you're probably going to convince yourself like fuck i shouldn't have worn these shoes yeah like oh leave me alone stop talking to me i can't talk to you right now like there's always something to blame you end up channeling your stress into yeah and it's like the real um issue the crux is i'm nervous for my presentation yeah in the afternoon but it's like but all morning i've been a cunt to everybody yeah yeah because i'm stressed out or like all morning i've been like fuck i shouldn't have done my nails like that and now they do you know i mean it's like okay just let's just take a sec like i think it's easy to like lose sight of your your actual feelings like the actual emotions that you're feeling

lose sight of like your perspective in your day and convince yourself that there's so much to worry about what if i can't get the train what if i do this what if i blah blah blah and it's like i think it's gonna be fine yeah the main your crux is you're nervous for a thing and that's normal yeah but it's not about um your shoes or like your friend looking at you funny or like just being annoying or not driving fast enough or whatever it's not about any of that and i actually think my main advice like if i actually have something to say in this episode if i do who knows but i hope you do my cracks yeah is that you can be scared and still go i think you should still aim to go there were so many um times where my like nerves and anxiety would stop me i would just like resign myself yeah i'm not going i'm not going i think there is

something so amazing and so brave about being terrified and still being there it's like you don't need to go and be fucking nailing it like oh my god i'm fucking queen of this place like i am leading the center you don't need to do that but you're still there you're still like gaining that experience like i actually missed out on so much of my education which was why i was so nervous because it meant so much to me but i missed out on a lot of it in my first year especially which is like the fundamental like rudimentary shit that i wanted to know um i missed out on so much of that because i was nervous and i just thought i can't go but actually it's like be terrified and still go like I know that's the hardest thing and it's actually not what you want to hear like it's not what you want to hear it's really not I would have

burst into tears because the last thing I wanted to do was actually go but but I think having that confidence in yourself of like I am capable of doing that yeah i'm hearing seffy say be scared and be embarrassed and still do it and i'm thinking no i can't do it no i can't do it but you can yeah you can do it we're not telling you to do something that you can't you you absolutely can do it and it's horrible to walk into a park that's going to be horrid it's like it's not going to be nice yeah it's like look it's over and you've done it you can do unpleasant things yeah you can live through unpleasant experiences yeah you've done it time and time again and humans before you have done it time and time again for hundreds of years and we will continue to do it until the planet implodes yeah

we if there's anything we're good at yeah it's good at putting ourselves in shit situations yeah and just getting to the other side of them definitely and you learn from them it's not a thing like as much it's like right i just need to get it over and done with it's like each one of these things you can't even see it because you can't see clearly at this time but each one of those you are growing and growing and growing growing and you do these things until they don't feel scary anymore there are so many things that i was terrified to do that now are just a given the most basic parts of my personality in my daily life like i just think the only way um to get over it's through it you have to do it really which is the most horrible bit but it's the only thing i actually have to say i think as well i remember saying this ages ago and i can't

remember in what what in regards i was saying i can't remember what i was talking about yeah with regards to what i was talking about at the time um but i was kind of saying i this must have been literally 100 years ago that i had this conversation like i don't remember the last time i said this on the pod but i was saying and i do think it's really true that when you've got loads of like stress or anxiety or worry or you're just overthinking about a certain type of thing you kind of play it through up until a certain point in your mind so you're kind of really hyping up like say for example it's a presentation you're really hyping up the like i stand up and then i walk over and i start doing and it's like for example it's a presentation you're really hyping up the like i stand up and then i walk over and i start doing and it's like yeah but it's like okay but let's actually play

it out play out that worst case scenario like it's almost like you have the trailer of worst case scenario but you never press play on the actual full footage yeah the full event and it's like if you let that play out the worst case scenario which probably isn't gonna fucking happen yeah is like what you stutter and stammer and split your words up a little bit maybe someone laughs even like worse it's like and i start crying and it's really embarrassing and then it's like leave and then i come back and i'm still crying and i'm and i fall and then it's like and then you go home and then what and you have your dinner and you still go out for a drink phone your friend and say i did this

embarrassing thing you laugh about it you feel like it's so funny for your whatever you do in the evening you go watch your show oh and then it's a new day and then it's like when you let it play out it becomes it's like yeah no that's not ideal but i can live with that i can do that yeah and i think it's like there is something like subconscious like there's something really deep in us and i've been saying this a lot recently about like the idea of resilience and like the things that we set the things that we tell ourselves that we can or cannot do like i can yeah like i'm not capable of doing that and i think when you've got that level of like stress around something for whatever reason i mean surprise surprise we've got this like really deep-rooted belief

that you're not capable of getting through a challenge yeah like you think oh you're gonna really fuck up your presentation for example and you think you can't handle that is that what you think you think you're the kind of person who couldn't handle like what being a bit embarrassed in front of a few people in your seminar or like yeah oh you think you can't handle like being dumb at work or people's judgment it's like someone thinks something negative of you which to be honest you'll never know but it's like okay so i assume that i've embarrassed myself and all these people are pitying me and that's so bad yeah well i think i can't handle these people's pity i think you can handle that because you've handled to be honest you've so much worse like this is light work guys like you could do this for breakfast like this is nothing this is easy you're so capable

yeah okay it's the crux right there guys that's the crux i think yeah i i'm so sorry for my energy here why are you apologizing for nothing i don't know i've also been thinking recently i say sorry a lot i've realized you do i've been called out recently about my apologies i think i call you out on it often you do because it's upset you're not the only one yeah it's a time i fell over and i said sorry and there was no one this was really embarrassing i don't know if i ever said this on the street but i fucking fell over so bad on in brighton station like on the platform literally running to get the train to meet sephie yeah to go to gleam offices so cool and i fucking fell and i hit the deck so hard and i was i literally sprinted the whole way there and i went and i fell in slow motion and i hit the ground and it hurt

so much and my hands like smacked against the concrete and it was so cold and like grazing i was like i need a wet paper towel and my bag flew across the platform and i had to run over and get it oh my god then i had to run to get the train and the guy was like are you okay he's like what what happened are you okay and i was like sorry i have to get the train and it's like god and then i got on the train that was still like 30 seconds sat there like oh i made it embarrassing anyway that but hey i lived no you did and also that to think of that gleam with so this is our first meeting in a in an office really and we showed up wing had like got a fucking grazed hand like kind of cut herself like awful sort of thing like i had

two children on my top and remember we sat in joe and the juice wherever before cutting out the label of my top so we could turn around because i just felt fucking toothpaste all over myself it's like oh jesus christ these people are not cut out for this world and then i didn't like there was a really accusatory tone thrown at us when we left she goes to me did you give me back those scissors behind the bar and i was like yes you think i'm taking them to like a taxes yeah you think i'm stealing scissors like you think i'm taking them to like a taxis yeah you think i'm stealing scissors like you think i'm walking around with the blade i was like yes i gave them back i swear like i it was almost like i just looked you in the eye and gave them of course i

did i would never not ideal anyway but yeah those it was like these people do not fit in here just like two absolute and that was the final nail in the gleam coffin it was it really was RIP if you don't hear from us assume the worst you