Goes Without Saying - how to live in alignment: she needs to sort out her priorities!

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

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Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It goes without saying you're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Sefi. And I'm Wing. And this is an episode all about priorities because she has to sort her priorities out oh so out her priorities line she wants to get us killed or worse expelled or for everybody turns off yeah we're talking about the things that we value most in life what are like if you go down to your real essence what are the things that you believe is this a good intro i'm already

hating it i'm not sure i think it is it works just whatever just whatever i think it's a great episode so do i think it's a good episode i think you'll enjoy this episode if no we're starting again we're starting again what no keep it going okay it can be dropped no we're starting again sorry let me just do it one more time it goes without saying you're listening to goes without saying with sephie and wing i'm sephie and i'm. And this is an episode all about priorities. I'm just saying the same thing again. Yeah. Oh just enjoy the episode guys. Just put that whole thing in. Um how are you? I'm good. Good. Good. Yeah same. You're good. Same. Yeah yeah i'm good i thought this would be a fun episode because i feel like we often are kind of teetering towing the line of this conversation of

you know when you just meet someone you think like hmm we have different priorities in life oh something about our core being is just oh it's like clanky clunky we're like iceberg on the Titanic scratching each other away do you know what I mean I know so much just jarred by someone's so I'm so by your priorities right now and I'm sure lots of people come across us and think jarring I mean I know they do for a fact exactly exactly so i thought that would be a fun conversation because i also thought i would love to know your priorities because i feel like i do know the general oh yeah you prioritize like fun whatever yeah but i also want to hear like what are your life like when you get to like 80 90 100 years old you want to look back and think okay

yeah i made the right priorities i did the right things i found the right balance i lived in alignment how can i be of service to your priorities and goals just who are you basically why don't you reintroduce yourself to me that's really interesting to think of it in terms of like um when you're 80 or something because i think i i have a phrase that i sometimes use about us whenever and i think it's something that i really would love to be able to look back on my life and think about myself i always say like whenever we've done like a really hard really hard podcast really hard guys it's really hard to do a podcast or like if we if i feel fucking knackered that i feel like we've done a for example sometimes when we go live i feel fucking knackered after it or like if we if i feel fucking knackered that i feel like we've done a for example sometimes

when we go live i feel fucking knackered after it or like when we have been filming recently i felt fucking knackered or if we have a podcast that we've done about 10 different takes of it feels knackering sometimes i like to say we left it all on the stage that says everything you need to know about us i think it's like oh we left it all on the stage that's good we left it all out there i've got no i've not got a single more like single joke left in me not got a single bit of charisma left in me i'm just dead i think that's how i start most of the episodes yeah no i agree and then i kind of slowly try and drain some sort of life out into the microphone and i think some social interactions i do feel like right you left that all on the stage like you learn i don't know where i've got

this saying from the stage didn't you hear someone say that once i must have heard someone say it once because i didn't come up with it someone you said you were like hearing someone talk about doing their stand-up show or something you've told you've told me more than enough it was simon amstel it was simon amstel and i believe it was am i not sharp memory yeah from the things that you said that's actually really impressive that really clicked my memory and i know where it was i believe it was on off menu where else would it be my king james yeah um and i believe he was talking about leaving it all on the stage he was yeah i think it was that podcast i'm not really sure but i know that it was him um who i love he's a comedian i love him um real vegan king and he um

tomato tomato no i'm joking um but i think that's something that i definitely want to look back on my life and be like you couldn't have squeezed one more joke out of that or like one more bit of fun out of that or one more bit like you were so loving and so yourself and so present that you really did like there's not one bit you can one bit more that you can give you have nothing left to give yeah you gave it all you gave it your all yeah and i think that that's probably one of the main things that i'm thinking i would like that's one of my priorities that i give it i think you do live like that yeah i think you definitely live like you just said about like you live as yourself and i think you definitely obviously like i feel like as i mean you might agree i feel like as we get older hopefully we

constantly are living more towards like our truest self and like constantly living more and more in alignment with who we feel that we are deep down or like the version of that that we want to be um but I feel like you're someone who naturally I know I say it all the time but I feel like you naturally are yourself in a way that I think is quite rare like I don't often come across people who I love that no but it's true I don't like I mean I just I think you're so um true to yourself in so many are we doing bread for the table right now is this compliments to the chef thank you so much well I hope you're hungry because that's more where that came from. No, but it's true. I think you were just someone who is so themselves.

And that is why I think people feel, I think it's like one of your main things to offer is just who you are. Because people then can connect with you because you're showing them your truest self. And that truest self is so like unique and rare and just particular to you in the way that I think everyone is unique and rare and just particular to you in the way that I think

everyone is unique and special and just their own person but because you just share that so confidently in your in your day-to-day life not just on the podcast I just mean in life I feel like you're just someone who is very themselves I just feel like that really rubs off people in such a nice way no it's true I think it's a really special thing and i think it really is like an energetic um like transaction like it's like a real um it's like a real um a moodlet in the sims it's like if you were a sim and you were hanging around sephie too long it would say like oh moodlet like buzzed and then it would say like you've been hanging around persephone deacon like this has made you feel blah blah because i think you have a really contagious energy about you and

it's just so you that's funny that the thing would be buzzed because my brother at the moment keeps calling me a buzzkill everything i do is like oh you're such a buzzkill i think you're the opposite of a buzzkill i said no i bring the buzz you don't understand the buzz you're a buzzing bee my joke is whenever i go in a room and he's just sitting in there in in the room just like doing nothing i'm like god the buzz in here i can't even cope with the buzz let's kill that buzz and i get a laugh every time no i wouldn't say you're a buzzkill at all i think you're one of the buzziest people i've ever known thanks so much but uh was it uh oh no i was a buzziest beaver but that i'm actually thinking of the thing from um the office where phyllis gets things this says bushiest beaver i couldn't comment on that um what are your priorities in life can i get well yeah go on i would say that you're i'm so

boring no read me like yeah go on go on i know it immediately i think your priorities are let me really think because i think i know what you're going to say i mean there are wrong answers obviously if you said like a violence but like there's no wrong answer I'm just I'm intrigued as to what you would say I think like you'd say the classics of like love and connection and peace and harmony but let me actually go deeper than that like I almost think that you I think it's really important to you to do things on your own terms and do things your way i think that's one of your deepest um priorities that you really really want to carve out your own way of doing things it's my way or the highway it has to be it has to be i don't yeah i agree with you but i what

what do you think about i don't think it's in a way that is like um i don't know tell me more tell me more because my way of the highway isn't a phrase i would use about me that was just a joke she's leaving it all on the stage um yeah i think in the most positive way possible in the way that it's like look this is my life i'm not gonna waste my fucking time i think you you really value um almost giving yourself the opportunity to enjoy yourself like and not in like which is mental because i'm just here having a miserable time no but i think that's a real skill because so many people feel fucking miserable and kind of just try and force themselves into like right okay yeah i'll just force myself into um shit into like um just that that will solve

the problem but i think you really really do know that you value working on yourself i think and that you really take you allow yourself the time to like deal with fucking life and i think that's a real skill i think i know myself quite well yeah i think you do as well i think i have a very strong like i know this weird old girl do you know what i mean what would you say is your priorities i think that's a really interesting one actually because i think that is true and i do value my own like time and space and like my relationship to myself is obviously really really important to me i don't know if that's just like an only child thing but it's like i got used to being on my own at an early age and i loved my own company obviously loads of the time i was like bored and lonely and had nothing to do and whatever blah blah blah but i think part of that is a skill of like learning to enjoy being just with yourself yeah and i don't feel like i feel like i don't

feel a particular pressure to show up for like a random person i think it's more important to show up for myself 100 do you know what i mean like i don't think i'm someone who i'm quite reluctant to like bend or like snap myself in half no yeah you're not going to do it a random person yeah i just won't do it i think if you don't want to do something within the realms of like shit you have to do yeah yeah you if you don't want to do something and i think you really do value like you just basically you're not going to force yourself to do something that isn't going to serve you in the best way it's an interesting one yeah because it is interesting because I do think sometimes it's in it's in a bad way it must be almost like um do you remember the thing with my contact lenses you have so many things with

your contact lenses what's this one basically this one was that I didn't change my address and they kept getting sent to the no this is ridiculous so there was a year's worth of contact lenses going to somebody else's house until this poor person living in that house changed like refused to take the parcel it's so bad and they called me up and every honestly all the time my friends my boyfriend would say to me have you called the opt me have you called the opticians have you called like you need to you know and i would be like yeah i'm going yeah and it became such a point of um tension in my life that my boyfriend wouldn't he knew not to bring it up anymore because i was so emotional about it about the fact that i hadn't called them

and then they called me and i had a voice note from the optician saying hi we've just received like fucking like 12 packs of contact lenses for you like let me know when you can come and get them and i left that for like a month i can't believe i was like oh my god like they're gonna be sat in the opticians like they fucking hate me like it's gonna my name's gonna be going around the staff room like this fucking bitch has left her. Like contact us, you won't come and pick them up. They're probably throwing them in the bin. I've lost all that money

because I've been paying for the contact lens. I haven't even picked them up. Blah, blah, blah. And then one day I finally rang the contact lens people and they were like, oh yeah, we'll send them to you. And I was like, oh my God, amazing. Like I really didn't, I thought they'd be in the bin. Yeah, Sefi was not impressed,

but I was so impressed that they were going to send them to my house but i don't do things that i don't want to do i sometimes i put off contacting the opticians yeah no that's and then i'm without them for a year yeah yeah no that doesn't tie into your values and priorities that's not what you're saying no okay good because that truly is absurd like the amount of because i didn't hear about this until it was far too late or i would have put well of, because I didn't hear about this until it was far too late or I would have put a stop to this. Well, I was ashamed.

I didn't want to bring it up. Also, I'm the least practical person. Like I 100% wouldn't have called. I would never have done it. Like I would have just put it off, put it off, put it off. But out of like, God, it's so boring

to phone a fucking contact lens, fucking people, whatever this is. Yeah. But the fact you were stressing about it was the absurd bit to me it's almost like deeply yeah you were like the optician spec savers have a personal vendetta against you no i was really picturing them being like this fucking idiot like how i was like how inconsiderate am i that i'm letting my contacts go to somebody else's house what every three minutes as if they give a shit anyway that's what i think i'm i'm so

pro um not prioritizing the content it's just whatever what i'm not pro is getting stressed about it to that level i agree i agree but i do think you yeah that that almost doesn't tie into what i'm saying i think okay good that's my own i'm projecting yeah i think what what it is is that you prioritize in a way that other people will be like well i will i have to i have to do this i have to go to the party now even though i've been crying before and i don't want to go and i know i'm gonna be miserable and there's this person here that i don't want to see and all the shit i'm gonna go anyway because i fucking have to because of some weird fucking rule with myself that i have to go that's what confused is i think with lots of different

people there's so many different reasons why they think they have to do something i think for a lot of people it's that they're like well i have to be seen there or like oh i have to be involved like i can't miss out i should go i should do it i should just go and they which i think there's value to that i should you know i should go i should push myself out of my comfort zone should for you but when no one's push that's what i always say fucking true no one's push because i think that's something for example you should push with the contact lenses you should and i didn't i didn't know when to push but with minimal stress it's not a stressful thing yeah no no but i think i really admire that in you that you can be like thank you i know that i don't want to do that thing so i'm not going to do it it's so obvious thanks thank you i see that in you too though no i don't think i

haven't um i think i i i almost just go and just get stressed and all of that no but you're not like a you're not a blind follower of the rules oh no i hope not or the social if someone said i was a blind follower of the rules i think that would not or the social if someone said i was a blind follower of the rules i think that would actually sting so deep in my soul well i would tell you who the fuck are you you don't know her like that's not you but i think list these fucking rules even in the sense of like making an effort to make the podcast your thing i think that to me is unconventional enough to push you into a different you knew that you wanted to do something that you wanted to do and you fought for it you did it good for you yeah i agree lots of people

yeah we are we're warriors yeah what can i say troopers um and it's so hard wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. In the early 1980s, gay men started to get sick from AIDS.

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podcasts a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcast everywhere. Acast.com Lots of people were saying... Okay, so lots of people were saying themselves, which I feel like we've kind of touched on. They prioritize themselves. Every single person that said themselves, can we just do a round of applause for you now? Amazing.

Stunning. It's exactly what we want to hear. It's politically important to prioritize yourself as a woman coming soon to a much store near you who knows um but then i also saw a lot of people saying that they prioritize their relationships with others loved ones i thought this one was interesting they prioritize my family particularly my mum um oh wow probably the wrong thing for us to break right now because i'm always in a weird thing with my mum um oh wow probably the wrong thing for us to break up right now because I'm always in a weird thing with my mum and whatever but and I'm currently actually I

don't think she'll mind me saying I'm actually in a bit of an argument with my mum right now she's downstairs we've just had a bit of an argument I'm sure she won't mind me saying um we'll make up in a few hours but she she's annoying me right now. I feel like the responsibility and like duty we feel to people who are close to us, our loved ones, and especially like our mum or do you know what I mean? Like people like that who are so deeply tied to us. It's funny, isn't it? Because it kind of does in a way always connect with your like core being of who you are. But sometimes it also can really steer you into

living really out of alignment with who you are because you can be a completely different person to what that person might want you to be for example blah blah blah sorry i was sipping my coffee so i couldn't know i loved it snappy way but i know i just completely agree to every yeah so all of that yeah i remember we had that conversation on the podcast before that was like um you have to choose for the rest of your life one person is going to make all your decisions for you do you remember either your mom or your dad and you could switch it out it could be either sephi or wing it could be like anything in life like two there's two like who is going to make your decisions for you out of these two people if it's not like your mom your

dad for example but it's so interesting but i think a lot of people obviously and i think a lot of like it's such an interesting relationship the mother-daughter relationship and i think there's so much value in prioritizing your relationship to your mom and i think that really can like serve your soul in a really deep way and I think it really can be very like nourishing and full of love and like it can be really really pure but I also think there's so much like pain and tension and like conflict there that it's just so complex and I think the dynamic is so particular to every specific mother-daughter completely agree i think it's probably one of the most fascinating relationships you can have as a human your relationship to the person that

literally birthed you it's like that is an insane or whatever mom means to you i guess but literally but it is such an insect and the person person that raised you is just such a specific. There's so much like. And what does it mean to be a mum? I don't know. Do you know what I mean? But like kind of everyone's version of me and you even probably have different ideas of what a mum is just based on what we know to be a mum through our experience of having one. Also, I was thinking about like motherhood recently. I was thinking about like motherhood recently and I do think to both of us actually it's something that is I think so important to both of us like the idea of like being a good mum yeah like even

though we don't have kids but I think we're both obsessed with this idea of like being good mothers and like what motherhood means and that I think we both know really strongly in our cause that we really want that for ourselves which is really weird like i don't know when i don't think everyone has that but i think we both really really know that it's like we want to be mums we really give a fuck about like yeah mother i saw a lot of people actually talking about their priority is having a family and like being a mum which i think is i think it's a huge priority completely yeah yeah and i don't even i think family like because also i have a relationship with like marriage that i i don't want that for myself and i don't want to ever

be a wife i think you're my wife sorry she's dead to call me that happy wife happy life so fucking true but like because that's not something i desire i think like people would always be like oh no like family it can't be important to you but the idea of like family is so important like if i actually think about as much as like my priorities like fun and all of these things i think number fucking one of my actual priorities in life is the like um health and safety and like yeah stuff of my family I think that is the absolute number one priority actually for me yeah that like if I think that's the thing I care the most about um so then I think that family as a whole and it's like expanded ways and the shape that it will take in the future that I'm not sure of is one of the things i'm most invested about in my life i think there's a weird um misconception you could say as well of like women and the ways

that they speak and i think i've seen people say to us like do you guys want kids do you guys not want kids like blah blah blah have people asked that yeah i remember someone saying a bit soon yeah yeah um but i think people i think a lot of people would think oh sephie definitely wouldn't want to have kids because there's this misconception around having i don't know like a critical or like um even intellectual lens on marriage and patriarchy and all of those constructs that people then would assume that you wouldn't be maternal or have like a maternal instinct or a desire to have children which just isn't true what's so funny about that i think it's because there is obviously a hugely political um thing on women or women choosing to have children that obviously does societally limit

you in loads of ways and all like there's the idea that you then step into the domestic sphere where men get to like rise up and earn money and then most likely leave you when you're 50 and go off with someone else we'll always have each other we'll always have each other guys this is kind of the sad um the sad thing about like women and children i think that it like it limits you to this like small world but i think i'm quite determined to do that to have to do children and things like that in my own yeah yeah and i think actually when i children have always been look i think i was i'm the oldest i have loads of younger sibling um three younger siblings younger cousins like my youngest sibling is has just turned seven yeah and me and my friend when

we went to lisbon recently she was like she'd never really seen me around kids and she was like i didn't realize how good you are with kids like i am not gonna lie it's in your core essence yeah she's not a buzzkill guys i'm not buzzkill and it's like actually no it is and she was like i never really never really saw that about you and i do find it interesting because i think there must be something about me that gives off like maybe like a hardness i'm not really sure what it is i think it's because there's a rejection of being like a conventional domestic um kind of 1950s wife that people then think it's so limiting yeah it's insane it's ridiculous like love love and like love for your family and all of those things to me have nothing to do with this idea of like you enjoy cooking a

fucking family meal no fucking way it's like yeah i'll cook but like i don't think i enjoy cleaning or cooking or any of this fucking shit i'm never going to sign my name on and take a man's name but that has nothing to do with me about the idea of like love and like the most natural thing in the world yeah if anything they're completely polarized to me one feels natural one feels completely unnatural and like politically evil to women i think honestly i don't know about you but maybe i would actually say i was just thinking i reckon not a day goes by that i don't think about having kids at this point really i probably think about my potential children every day like probably do you think this is coming with age i'm because i agree that i'm broody as hell it's coming up in my life a lot more yeah yeah it's weird yeah but

i've always i think it also comes again with that um idea of your relationship with your mom and all of those things i think in it was really important to me in my childhood when I was going through things as a child. And I had all of these feelings towards my own parents. I became really aware at a young age of the kind of parent that I would want to be. And I think I've carried that with me since then. And obviously it's changed because the older I get, the more viable it becomes that I would have a kid sooner, I guess.

Obviously. I mean, there are certain things I'm touching wood um but I don't know I think it's yeah it's it's a priority I think also being you're gone no go on I was just gonna say I think being in a relationship it's like I can't like on the wrong day I can't really look at my boyfriend with even my dog because i'm like god um yeah do you know i mean it's just it's not happening you can see a glimpse into the future yeah yeah but i also think um i'm happy to wait for i'm not trying to have my dessert before i've even had my main course guys do you know i mean take it slow it's actually a big thing i was talking about this with my mum recently because i went to a party and kind of in the aftermath of the party sort of you know when it's all winding down everyone's getting quite deep and talking nonsense but it's my favorite stuff it's like oh god yeah a good bit

but this one was quite stressful everyone was talking about like um like the biological biological clock and all of this fucking shit. And it's like, oh, can we not? I've actually like, drank a bottle of wine. Yeah, I don't know what's gonna come from me. Like, guys, I'm trying to have fun. I'll do a dance. I'm suddenly feeling very watery. My lips are very loose. i phoned my mom in the morning and i was like we were talking about the biological clock last night and it was interesting because there were boys there as well and they were like quite almost shocked because i don't think babies are on their minds at all but we were all talking about like oh well like when you hit 30 this is a thing that's gonna yeah you know um shakes head people around you are gonna start having kids not that you have to have kids at 30 but i think

no live your own life guys but that's an age that i'm hearing a lot that's like yeah when i'm 30 i'm gonna have kids hopefully blah blah blah um and i think that's like five years that's four five years away for me and my friends at the moment which is fucking scary um and the boys were all kind of like yeah i don't know if i want them but pretty much all of the girls i would say like 80 of the girls are already thinking about it because we've got this fucking horrific timer quote unquote clock in us which is also just i'm sure a horrible patriarchal patriarchal rooted thing um but yeah i phoned my mom in the morning i was like oh it's horrible it was horrible talking about it actually because i'd never really thought about it in terms of a rush yeah i've always been like oh you know

that women have this and not just in a societal construct rush but in like a biological tangible yeah yeah but in the way that your body limits definitely but then i also wonder look i'm no science kid i'm humanities girl through and through as we know through so i'm just throwing out shit here and we'll see what sticks but surely if we weren't in such a patriarchal position in this world and things were different if for example reproduction and like childbirth and pregnancy were seen as men's um issues yeah men's like within the men's or their responsibility yeah would we have figured out new ways in technology new pathways in medicine new pharmaceutical ways to extend that clock or change how that happens i'm sure i'm sure we would well it's just another way in

which men can age and get old but women have to stay young or like their women are rushed or like that i mean have you ever seen you've seen ted lasso i have seen ted lasso yeah which i think this is one of the things that i've seen a couple times in my life now and it's one of the themes in ted lasso it's like this woman and her husband are together um she she always wants kids he never does want kids she compromises and says okay we won't i love you so much we'll stay together they break up he has a kid with a younger woman when they're like 50 so she's too late for her but he can and it's this sort of stuff that it's like it's fucking yeah it's not a joke because it is completely rooted in the patriarchy this idea that women have to do this thing very young and then basically it limits them to be born a man is to be born with the freedom that the woman would

never be granted undeniably undeniably obviously there's so much more that goes into that like that's a huge sweeping statement but generally in terms of like children come on yeah all right let's finish bloody hell yeah but also i just also want to say that like oh yeah this was the thing that my mom said that i thought was reassuring because i was in a bit of a pickle state i was i've never thought about this shit before but she was saying like there is time yeah like there are loads of options for all of like fucking shit but like don't rush yourself out of the fun period of your life and i think that's one of the crucial things so you're not allowed to buy two pound coffee question one question one this is one of the sorry sorry i don't know why i'm coming for your mom on a public space i'm sorry i don't know what came up or if she does i'm sure

she won't mind no no she won't mind and i stand by myself look it's not a luxury well it is a luxury but yeah i paid for it i don't want you to be rushed out of the fun phase of your life either yeah it's just almost like let's remember there's no remember that like you have your fun you can obviously it's a priority to me to have a fun life throughout my entire life but like this is a very specific kind of youthful period of your life and it's like let's not fucking be so quick to throw it away to give someone else a fun youthful thing your child like let's actually enjoy this for you now and i do think that made me think like yeah actually as much as there's this clock ticking ticking down there's also like you're in the fucking the prime of your

life like why the fuck are you bending for other people but this one morning i was no but i think it's also the thing no matter what you do people and the world your family your friends society in general will be talking shit about it like you're always gonna have opinions about what you've done if you don't have kids it's oh why didn't she settle down and have kids oh that's a shame oh she's gonna change her mind one day if you did have kids it'd be oh are you sure you've handed over your youth you've made the wrong decision now you can't put that back where it came from all of that so put that thing back where it came from so help me um that was quite serious we did quite a like sincere rendition

um yeah so i think the message from us is always just live your own life it's easier said than done obviously goes without saying but i think live your own life there's loads of pressures that are going to try and make you compromise yourself as a woman as a human but i think let's try our hardest to not do that and go by our own time so true so fucking true someone said i quite like this i was like what are your priorities someone said get paid get laid put that on a t-shirt yeah i love that it's like have fucking fun you're in the prime of your life it's true also if that's your priority out of the prime of your fucking life whatever what does that even mean yeah yeah enjoy it enjoy your life yeah a lot of people are saying

their mental health i couldn't agree more how do you what's one way just while we um start winding down what is one way an actionable way that you prioritize your own mental health in your own life um one of the ways that i have that's most helpful at the moment is i have it was advice from my therapist when i was like how do I how does it now I finished therapy I'm gonna forget it all don't leave please she was like some of my clients like set alarms for themselves and I was like genius and I've taken it so far I've got about I think it's seven alarms I don't know how many times I've been with you and it's like popped up and I'm like what is that I have all these alarms they're silent so i miss most of them when i'm not on my phone but

like throughout the day probably like five things go off like they're silent no vibrate just things that come up to the top of your screen um and i just close them as soon as i see them and they're things like um things that i need to remember so one would be for body dysmorphia one is called theory b which is like a thing youmorphia one is called theory b which is like a thing you learn in therapy it's like theory b remember this thing another thing is like um emotional reasoning whatever like all of these things pop up and it's like oh yeah fucking hell that thing what about the one with the girl the little dance that one says yeah i've got emojis theory b i've got a b emoji of a b yeah um one the one that you've seen with the

girl dancing is act as oh yes and it's like one of the things act as if this is not a problem with your body but a problem with your mind just act as if and then the beliefs will follow um so i have all of these things like that really keep it rooted in my day that i'll be at the shops probably with all these a million thoughts going around the back of my mind and then a thing pops up that says theory b and it's like oh yeah don't live in theory a which means no makes no sense if you don't have if you don't know these terms but then it's like you're living in theory b remember that thing yeah but it's making it like almost it's getting to your subconscious all day every day yeah it just calls you back in to be like remember

like you don't have to be miserable there are all these fucking tools that you can't be thinking about all day but like whilst you're at the bus stop it'll pop up in a bit oh yeah yeah what do you do i honestly don't i don't know right now let me think i don't know i know i think okay i mean you've said this on the podcast i think medication has been fucking yeah it has it has uh i don't know i had honestly such a um disaster of an evening yesterday that i feel quite scarred and I feel quite like nothing I don't do anything I'm failing do you know what I mean so I just feel a bit like oh god I don't even know what I could say of value to anyone else but I can see such a massive change in your mindset over the last literally year I 100% can ever since you had your therapy like the like um sort of intensive

sessions when they're going on um like the weekly sessions about over a year and a half ago now i can see such a massive difference in you since then and even how you deal with when you go yeah when your kind of depression sucks you under yeah you used to be down for a lot guys a long long time honestly months and now i get for example last night could have 100 sucked you under but you're right here now recording a podcast you text me straight away in the morning yeah i did blah blah blah this happened and i just think that is different because i used to not hear from you and i'd be texting you hi hi blue hearts yeah now it's it's not like that anymore and even when it does they're less frequent and also

there's room for that to happen still and it'd be fine like there was a weird um almost like i i don't know exactly what word i would use because shame or like burden all of these weird things I don't know if I have the right vocabulary for it but I just felt like it was something that for example if last night would have happened like two years ago I definitely you never would have known because I think my relationship to like understanding what it was and then what it meant for me and my relationships was completely different and now i think i understand like no sephie should know and like people in my like do you know i mean like i can see it for what it is yeah because it's not it doesn't have to be a shameful secret i think

it's almost like it's not confusing to me anymore i think that was almost the big thing of like it's a secret because i can't quite articulate what it is so how would I go about saying what it is so it just becomes unspoken but actually it can be a thing of oh I can see much more clearly now what that was it was me falling into a deep deep deep deep hole um and that isn't necessarily the most um articulate way of putting it but it gets the job done and it just says what it is enough i think yeah maybe my thing has just been i've just had so much clarity i think over the past year and medication has given me that 100 so you're right but thank you i think there's so much there like yeah i just see such a massive change in you like or did not even change I don't know if it's a change but like a development yeah of your

ability to deal with fucking shit emotions yeah which I think is everything like that's the whole thing like with me a few episodes being ago and to my therapist being like do people ever recover from this it's like I don't really know if recovery is what um it looks like what you think it looks like where you never have the thoughts again there's always growth and how you deal with having the thoughts that are shittily always going to be there i think my closing message would be for everyone who said prioritize themselves i agree definitely do that and if you didn't say prioritize yourself add it to the list because i think it's all we have in this life and we you're our priority so

if you're not your own you yeah you're ours well i hope you're having a good day i would say today do one nice thing for yourself maybe what are you gonna do um it doesn't apply to me though everyone else can do whatever they want i have to do a shit thing i don't know well i've already had my two pound fifty coffee and nice that's all the luxuries i guess i um i don't know what are you gonna do i think i'm gonna order thai food tonight i know from where well we're rotating a few different places in brighton at the moment but my boy i didn't I kind of forgot that we had said it. But then my boyfriend messaged me earlier and said,

oh, we're going to watch Handmaid's Tale and have noodles and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, wow. What are your thoughts on the new season? I've only seen one episode. But I've heard it's Music Video City. Music Video City? You know, in the last season, she was doing that walk where it's like when you try your best but you don't that's what i've heard but i have it's a deep love for the handmade stuff so

i can just you know take what i can get my love is really like dwindling um it's actually evaporating before my very eyes every second that i watch that's horrible after the first episode of the new season i you said it was my housemate i was like this was insulting and she's like i wouldn't go that far i would go if there's anything i know you to do it's to always go that far right guys also we've got merch coming out so just send us good um good like wishes i don't know like yeah can you keep us in your thoughts if you're listening to this after thursday we're saying the day then i hope yeah then there's merch available but if not we have it coming out on thursday very

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