Goes Without Saying - how to trust: yapping to oversharing pipeline

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on the risk of vulnerability, compassion and the internet, shame and rejection.✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay?

So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Goes Without Saying. You're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Wing. And I'm Sefi. This is such a fun episode. We are talking about the worst ways to be rejected and how to handle that. Kind of giving your truest, most vulnerable, honest version, most authentic version of yourself to somebody and having it thrown back in your face and how do you get up

the next day and deal with that. How do we show our faces around here everyone living the same life everyone's out here dealing with the same shit very very nice sense of hand holding in this one hope you enjoy here we go again here we go again with the weird energy yeah it's again we can't see each other which doesn't add i mean it doesn't help i also all my sentences are coming out wrong today i was gonna say how are you feeling really tired set us in oh no but fine i'm still in amsterdam why don't you go to bed because we've got to do this okay fine i will after are you in bed yeah yeah i'm in lizzie's bed okay fair enough so you're kind of half and half like yeah half and half very much i'm as close to being as bad in see nothing's coming out right yeah no it's fine

it's fine it's fine i don't know why how are you i'm good i'm for some reason really really really looking forward to this i feel like the setup of us kind of talking about something on the monday and then expanding on it with everyone else's thoughts on the thursday is just really getting me going for some reason yeah i'm definitely liking the format because it's now it's like we've said what we think we said our bit yeah we put ourselves out there so if this one sucks it's on you i'm thinking more so it's like we really went out on a limb on monday and gave our thoughts so now if you all disagree it's like that's embarrassing yeah i haven't looked either what anyone said yet so we put classically on the instagram on a question box which is

goes without saying the best place to be to get your thoughts your sephian wing yeah and if you've ever wanted us to feed back on something that you if you ever wanted us to reply to you basically and be like what's going on kind of shake your shoulders a little bit if you want a little chat with us kind of we'll sit you down and give you a good talking to yeah on the instagram you can respond to the question boxes to be anonymously featured in the upcoming episodes and we asked what is the most rejected you've ever felt off the back monday's episode yeah i know i felt bad for asking but we needed to be said to be done hey it needs to be said we did it last week no we didn't we didn't last i thought it would be nice in a sense for us all kind of i think one of the

um best things for us selfishly about the podcast is that over time we've had so many messages from people really mirroring each other so it kind of is a nice affirming you're all echoing each other all the time and as much as i don't want to take your um unique special spark away from you all you're very very special yes but you're all also the same exactly we are all living the same lives having the same issues and i think there's something really comforting about going through a situation where you feel really isolated or you feel really confused or you feel really alone and you put stephanie wing on and you find out you have the miraculous discovery that everyone else is feeling shit as well it's universal it's universal and i just think that's a nice um little hand-holding experience for us all definitely it definitely helps me but yeah i

just always think it's like such a privilege sometimes when yeah we're feeling shit that it's like oh wait but i have access to all of these girls saying that they feel shit in the exact same way yeah it's like oh wow okay that's quite an insight it's so special yeah it's so special and also it's really i think the main thing that it allows you to do like as a third party you can really look into somebody else's life obviously you don't know too much but you can see kind of objectively that they are deserving of good things or like yeah oh you're you're a good looking person so why would somebody say that about you do you know like you can you can really see that oh yeah that kind of makes sense that all of those insecurities or all of those things that you're dealing with

are very much in your head and so in turn i can then kind of hope that the things going on in my head are just in my head and it's not founded on the fact that i'm just like a piece of shit do you know what i mean we're all thinking we're pieces of shits but i can see that you guys aren't pieces of shits yeah maybe i'm not a piece of shit statistically we can't all be so there's got to be some uh you're gonna say there's gotta be someone out there who's a piece okay there's gonna be one what are the chances you i think we've all got the same weird things going you found us for a reason you're obviously going through something yeah should we also just quickly say whilst we're talking about the instagram should

we talk about the thing that's coming out tomorrow or today might today yeah whilst you're listening to this oh god guys so since the last time you heard from us some shit has been going down and i'm we're not going to get into it too much i don't think i think you're going to have to go onto the instagram and the tiktok to see but there's like a video on there but we are really putting everyone on a mission it's a call to actually it's truly a call to action something happened to us and i need to know if it's ever happened to you and i would love for you to watch it and be like yes or no yes that's happened to me no that's never happened to me have you heard this tale that's basically what we're asking okay

that's it go over there well that's what i would it's like i need to know if you've ever experienced something similar because this literally it knocks my fucking knocked my socks off and rocked my fucking world honestly shifted my ground yeah it did and i need to know if your ground has ever been shifted like that so go over there and see what the fuck we're on about yeah okay shall we yeah let's dive in it depends which way you want to go i guess there's so many i would i really yeah it's like you said it's such a fucking privilege to have access to this thank you so much to everyone that writes in with this stuff because it actually honestly it's quite honestly an honor to be able to read this it's like i'm reading journals right

now it's like thank you so much for telling me this it's so special what do you think oh god okay yeah go on do that one so someone has said they felt most rejected when their therapist blocked them when they were at their lowest laugh my fucking ass off yikes therapist blocking someone bad therapist terrible therapist i mean so obviously this whole situation now the crux here is that i'm very much giving you the benefit of the doubt i'm on your side oh 100 i mean that's pretty gutting i read an article recently i think this was on the guardian maybe but it was about this woman talking about um her therapist being like inappropriate with her um but she had like issues around sort of rejection so she couldn't really leave like it

was like she knew she needed to leave and find a different therapist but yeah she had told so much to this guy and like you feel a huge connection with your therapist if they're a good therapist even if they're not really but i do think it's a very very very unique dynamic between therapist and kind of therapy yeah it turns up so much stuff of like rejection 100 to be blocked by someone let alone the person that you shared the insides of your mind to it's a tough pill to swallow i think that's kind of the weird thing about therapy is it is kind of there's this weird like not false intimacy but it requires obviously like huge vulnerability often for the therapy therapy person who is like yeah sharing their insides

and i think that this just goes across like that as we said there are so many messages here saying a similar thing not even necessarily from a therapist but just generally once you've shared something really intimate with somebody if you then feel for whatever reason like betrayed or rejected by them it has such a heavy sting because you really feel like you're being rejected for your truest yeah self or like almost it feels quite unjust or unfair because you feel like you've given so much yeah and so it feels like out of order yeah like to be shunned yeah no it does feel out of order to be shunned yeah it feels out of order because you're breaking trust and also i think there's an idea that you're kind of owed a bit of an explanation and for someone to block you or ghost you especially in like a sort of

professional setting like a therapist it's either they're through the nhs or you're paying them i think blocking is a very very very extreme um sort of ending of that and that yeah is going to trigger so much shit i think as well there's another one here which i think links similar let me see if i can find it because i saw it earlier and i was like hmm i really would love to talk about that lizzie's just messaged me saying film at 9 15 it's like what film cool because i said we're going to the cinema like should we go to the cinema and she said film at 9 15 it's like which i want to know what film i'm signing up for yeah like which one please which one um sorry i'm still looking no no look away oh yeah no i've got it i've got it okay

yeah this person said being completely ostracized from a friendship group for being quote unquote too anxious and i am once again gonna take the opportunity to say to make it really clear that i have a real issue with this that people is the film sorry oh nice sorry that people have a real people have a real issue they love to talk about mental health love love love to talk about mental health everybody mental health there's mental they love until they love to talk about mental health love love love to talk about mental health everybody mental health there's mental yeah they love until they love to talk about it you know they love to go on a podcast they'll talk about it everywhere put it on their instagram story etc etc even amongst friends they'll talk about it talk about it talk about it until they face any kind of ugly reality

of what someone struggling with their mental health could actually be dealing with yeah the actual reality of the symptoms of someone struggling with their mental health could actually be dealing with yeah the actual reality of the symptoms of someone struggling with their mental health is suddenly not as cute as just saying mental health or your mental health mental health it pisses me the fuck off that people just don't fucking get it and it ties back to the therapist like blocking them in their lowest moment and it ties back to feeling rejected by somebody when you've given something really intimate or vulnerable someone rejecting you or ostracizing you because you're quote-unquote too anxious is fucking out of order and it really pisses me off yeah sorry well it's not okay like it's absolutely not i'll pick up it's difficult not being able to see you isn't it because it's like

i can't read your face signals people love to talk about mental health until literally the real shit hits the fan yeah it's like they want they like to talk about it and that's the whole problem with so much of just like the internet discourse of life of like oh yeah don't you think even in real life no but totally but that then translates it's like yeah okay you're gonna post it on your instagram story you're gonna um read it watch a little vlog you're in hr getting out of a rut that's why the there aren't youtube videos of me in my rut it's like yeah it's only glamorized when you're kind of on your way out of it no one talks about or like they kind of kind of do talk about it but the only version of you that's actually acceptable in the world is the version that's kind of on the way up it's just

has got some clarity on it now it's not um sort of acceptable to be lost and actually in the midst of it because that is not um pretty to be honest it's fucking uggers i remember like 100 years ago this probably in 2020 maybe 2021 um i remember saying this on the podcast that i'd seen a video and i can't remember who it was now but it was a girl who i feel like in hindsight i'm gonna call her an instagram model but if you listen to the if you listen to that episode and it turns out that she's not a quote-unquote instagram model i'm gonna call her an instagram model but if you listen to the if you listen to that episode and it turns out that she's not a quote-unquote instagram model i'm sorry i don't know who it is but that's just in my memory but it was something instagram model is that an

influencer i guess yeah okay but do you know what i mean yeah instagram model yeah um it's not my turn no no it's almost one of those things i just thought yeah actually what is that yeah what is that what actually is an instagram model it's like model you're an i guess an influencer right but not every influencer is an instagram model no but an instagram model it's just one of those terms that almost gets said but what is that maybe maybe not every not every instagram model is an influencer maybe they're not i actually don't have a clue really what an instagram model is oh look who knows who's the model i don't actually know what it is no it's definitely not just a model but anyway anyway this poor girl yeah ages ago she said and i just really i don't know why it just really resonated at the time i remember

saying it on the pod she was basically like i spoke about my eating disorder to connect with you guys i shared something really vulnerable i shared yeah really weird that's like still in my memory she was like i shared something really real to me really sacred and really raw and really painful in order to find some sort of connection with other human beings on the planet i'm obviously paraphrasing sounding a lot like wing all of a sudden in order to find connections with other human beings on the planet yeah i think that's just me um but she was like i shared something really fucking raw and real for me in order to help you guys and to feel something back and it's been used against me on the internet people are being horrible about this thing that i've shared and i think that's

the reality oftentimes and it's why being quote unquote vulnerable is really difficult is because you are entrusting whoever is receiving your personal information to handle it with care and i think it can be really difficult when you share something really raw and really sacred and really meaningful to you when it isn't handled as it should be when it isn't received gently when it isn't like wrapped up with bubble wrap marked as fragile etc when it's kind of slung on the airport like escalator it's like breaking into kind of pissed on like but then i think you sent it to the wrong place you shouldn't have sent it your wrapped your fragile thing straight to the internet it's like that's a terrible terrible place it's not handled with care you've accidentally

sent it into kind of the lion's den i think i think the whole world is the lion's den and if you can act as truly as you can as yourself and like give yourself all the love and the support and validation that you can possibly muster up if someone else is a cunt to you that is on them it is yeah but i also think you should expect it if you send if you you can have the best intentions of all time when you talk about your personal stuff on the internet like this girl yeah you can be the have the most good faith kind of attitude towards it that you want it can be the most fragile bubble wrapped beautiful little piece that you send out do expect every bubble on that wrap to seem the worst for sure going to be best like a hundred

percent expect it that is what the internet is like that is the horrific reality of like this space that exists that it's always nice when it's met with like oh yeah we all relate we relate to that and all of this stuff but i do think you're sending it out into um a really really really unpredictable and like strange landscape to expect it to be handled with care is like purely deluded no i don't think expect it to be handled with care but i think that's what's so gutting about for example your therapist blocking you or you're rejected when you've given something really real well exactly i think that's kind of it is no matter who is on the receiving end of like your true lived experience you sharing that is purely um like sacred and it isn't a reflection on you how the other person handles that and i think if you are rejected

for being quote unquote too anxious or pushed away at your lowest moment that is not a flaw in you and there are spaces in the world even on the internet there are spaces i think everywhere where you will find other human beings who will love and validate and support every single part of you. And until then, if that's not where you are right now, I think giving yourself as much of that support as possible, which is so difficult. But I think that's the only way through. Is to find some sort of hope sort of hope that like that wasn't you fucking up that isn't you being not good enough in some way or being too anxious whatever you know that isn't your um floor no it's clearly the therapist floor like i really do think yeah it's pretty that's a therapist

floor it is pretty transparent like there's a really really clear power dynamic there yeah it is somebody giving someone direct advice who has sought out therapy because they're feeling vulnerable no matter how that person say the client is like bombarding them with emails or something like that i think there are so many steps that can be taken before a block is enacted like that is a feature that of our phones and like of all of our fucking technology that is supposed to be there for like kind of like extreme circumstances like it's there so like people can't be stalked and so that you can get rid of somebody that's harassing you or like so you can have no contact with an ex or something like that it's not for a a fucking therapist to block their client what i'm sorry that is a really

really like irresponsible use of that feature wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature.

I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson.

And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer. And we are a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. ACAST.com

i think as well like it's a really good reminder to us all of like not putting really anybody on like a pedestal and almost like just i think a really important reminder of like anyone that you're sharing yourself with they are having a the luxurious experience of getting to be involved with you in whatever way that they are and yeah your therapist is not your god like they are human they are they are very very very human and they can be wrong and they can say the wrong thing and they maybe not are gonna they can act wrong as well yeah like have you watched um james acaster's um kind of semi-recent show the cold lasagna 99 hate myself i've seen bits of it i've seen bits of it yeah

cold lasagna whatever wait a cold hate myself cold lasagna hate myself 1999 i think it's called yeah great james acaster kind of name yeah great work it was it's a really fucking great show i think you have to pay for the whole thing i did yeah we spoke about this the other day didn't we yeah i think we did speak about we've been speaking about james quite a lot we have oh my god just king absolute love just a pure talent in this world he really is in that he talks about his relation a relationship they had with a therapist where i think they were talking a lot about like abandonment and things like that in the sessions and then right at the end of it he i think he decided he was going to move on and like

the therapist said that they were like a huge fan of him or something like that. And, like, could he meet her son or something like that? This could be a bit wrong. I haven't watched it in about two years since it came out. But, like, he then realized, okay, the therapist is, like, overstepping. And he was, like, okay, I think I want to... He, like, went and met the fucking, like, kid and all of this stuff. Like, it's completely, like, sort of weird dynamic that the therapist had like got him into and then when james said

that he wanted to leave the therapist was like oh i think you owe me more than that and like came up with all this crazy stuff and he obviously told it in this like hysterical way as he would classic james yeah but the point of that is i wonder how much of that is true all of it's true all of it's true who knows actually see more on the instagram no don't see more because because men do be saying things they do they do be saying things they do men saying things that are not true all the time god i would really want to know what this video is i am always like what's the video is i know what it is i'm in it you are in it but i think the point is that it's like yeah these therapists like you do know anyone can be a therapist really like i think there's an idea there's an idea that it's like of course you have to go to school and train

and do all these things but it's like, there are doctors that are fucking barking mad. Like there are a lot of people also claiming to be therapists these days. Totally. Totally. Or kind of therapist equivalent. Even worse, life coach. There we go. Yeah.

Which not to hate on that profession, but I mean. No, not at all. Has anyone seen Peep Show? Hello. Yeah. It's kind of us though totally totally like i mean but that's the reminder it is anyone can be this and it's not to say that um like i i have i admire so many therapists like i literally have i have relationships with therapists that i just think are so great but i've also been in rooms with a therapist and i've thought you are fucking moronic

like you do not give me advice and i have left because it's like there there's such a power dynamic at play and actually it can be abused so much yeah i think it's actually a skill and i think it's something that probably a lot of people feel like they are learning slowly but surely over the course of their whole lives probably the idea that choosing who you surround yourself with what you share with certain people like who you choose to literally honor with your presence yeah is really important but i also think being really fluid with yourself and your love and like your amazing personality and everything that you have to give and everything almost like that you have to gain from like the pain of just experiencing other human beings do

you remember that really again a call back to well it's actually pre-2020 i think it's like 2019 we were really into that there was this thing that was like if you live a life without vulnerability guys bear with me god we were idiots yeah no we're a bit much if you live a life without vulnerability right there's no pain but there's also no love so yeah i remember this it's either you've got no you've got nothing good at all but at least you're not in pain yeah which is kind of pain itself or yeah you're gonna experience pain but at least you'll also be experiencing very real kind of fulfilling loving experiences and relationships and all that shit yeah it's a it's an important part of life

and i think don't be too heavy-handed with like giving your insides out to every tom dick and harry sure but also i think being really like secure and free in the way that you um like explore yourself on the planet i know that's a really wanky way of putting it but that is exactly what it is do you know what i mean that i think it's i think it's a skill that you learn just throughout life and there are ups and downs and you make mistakes and you also like kind of looking back and being like oh shit i wish i kind of hadn't said that to that person it's normal and it's not that's the biggest error that you've got going on right now then so be it do you know what i mean we're all like we're all human yeah and you can handle it as well like a rejection is not nice

but a rejection is also inevitable like i would love to speak i actually wouldn't like to speak to someone who's faced no rejection because they're probably gonna be the most fucking boring person i've ever spoken to or deluded because i genuinely think everyone will face that it is actually a really really necessary part of growing up like i don't know human i don't know what you would be if you've never faced that because that's actually how you learn and evolve and grow and all of these that is exactly how you develop as a person by being like okay that didn't work let me try something else this that's exactly the human experience yeah and i know we said on monday's episode like if you are thinking that somehow you are gonna navigate your way through life being somehow perfect enough and you'll never face rejection yeah you will be sorely mistaken and extremely disappointed

if you're waiting for like this pristine version of yourself to show up so that you don't have to go through any shit you will literally you'll have to bubble wrap yourself never leave the house never go on the internet you have to just stay you literally can't have a single relationship like i don't want that for anyone no okay stunning should i just feel like nothing i'm saying is coming out right and it's in the weirdest sort of i don't feel like i have this that often but like you know like a brain fog sort of thing yeah where it's like i see the sentence in front of me i know what i'm aiming for and i kind of do a fucking left hand turn but it's so out of reach yeah no i get that but it's like why did my brain to me say that word it's just you're perfect you're perfect thanks it's really annoying though i get it i get it um i would love to really emphasize here that everyone has felt rejected

by their friends or like their closest friends at some point that seems to be the big everybody god we yapping yapping yapping non-stop about being rejected by our friends also i've wanted i've had this taylor swift kind of quote reference on the tip of my tongue this whole episode and i just want to let i just want to let it out i just can't contain myself any longer yeah it was from the gorgeous gorgeous long pond folklore sessions which obviously still waiting for the evermore version no big deal um she i don't know what any of that means what the fuck was that did you watch that you watched the maybe the folklore she's in a in a little cabin it's called long pond and she is she singing the moment

yeah she's with jack and and um aaron destner i've seen a photo of it yeah so it's really cool actually she is singing folklore they're doing it live and then kind of cringe yeah yeah it's that era and they're kind of in between she's cutting to different like conversations about the songs and talking about the origin of the song or the meaning or how she feels about it blah blah blah and i think it's in this is me trying maybe no that's not where i'm going let me think uh oh i think it might famously be maybe my tears ricochet maybe basically which it would be for me wouldn't it but in in for one of them she says something along the lines of like is the classic kind of trope of the ultimate villain ends up

being kind of the hero's ex-best friend it's like this person that you have shared so much with like they know exactly how to hurt you they know exactly yeah your flaws and your pain and your history and all of these things like they the person who kind of has the most control over how to get to you is the person who is closest to you yeah um and i feel like that is just the crux of everyone being so we're kind of just so easily devastated by like feeling rejected by our friends and the people closest to us because of course we are yeah because of course well it's people you respect it doesn't hurt to be rejected well sometimes it actually does it does actually kind of hurt to be rejected by someone you don't care about but it hurts

yeah honestly three million times as hard if you actually give a shit about this person yeah i always find that kind of annoying actually when it's one of those things i think this is specifically romantic relationships but i think it also kind of works in like jobs and things like that it would be a real a conversation i've had a million times in my life where someone they someone is talking to someone that they don't even fancy like it's someone that oh i don't particularly even they go on a date for example my friend comes home from a date and says oh i don't even like him like i'm just not interested like i'm just gonna leave that there sort of thing few days pass oh i wanted him to text me like i just wanted i just wanted like

i don't want to be rejected by them i wanted to reject them essentially yeah and it's like what the fuck is this world like we're seeking validation from people we don't even want like that doesn't actually serve any purpose other than fueling ego your self-esteem which obviously should not be coming from that it it's just one of the most frustrating things ever i also think it's completely human to want to reject someone but it's so frustrating because it's like it really serves nothing no it doesn't it doesn't move anything forward like it is actually such a sad thing that people desire i feel that all the time though like no totally but it's sad

it's kind of the thing as well this was something i feel like sorry my dog's on my lap now so you might be able to hear him hey ozzy ozzy do you want to say something no he doesn't sorry guys i feel like i really was in this in the kind of like oh you graduate and for example COVID happens for example everyone's having a great time getting rejected for a job you don't want it hurts it fucking hurts or like a job is a bit different though as well because it's like I didn't want it but I was gonna take it like I had to take it whereas a romantic thing is like you don't have to take that take it so it's like it's something that literally serves nothing whereas it's like yeah i don't want that

job but it's gutting to get rejected from the thing that i don't want because yeah fucking hell how low am i gonna have to go i think again though at least for me that's a lifelong lesson of like that's something i've been telling myself probably for like 10 years of like why do you care what they think of you but you don't really like them like why do you need them to love you you don't even like them why do you need them to love you you don't even like them like and over and over no matter how many times i say it it still doesn't hit but it's i think that's again like for the validation for the self-esteem and also i think kind of the people-pleasing angle of like needing that love and like security and um validation from almost like everyone the worth that i place on literally anybody else like if it's my opinion immediately invalid

i think you're getting so much better at this i am i am so much better which is you really are like it's actually indisputable like you yeah you i think you do value your opinion a lot more than you i do think you do yeah no i i do i think i'm in such a different place but i can still i think now as well with hindsight see so much how like god i literally like i would take anyone else's word for it over my own do you know what i mean really interesting completely also though it flows like there are moments where it's like okay i just it's kind of um fleabag someone had to tell me what to wear who to like what to listen to like all of that and then the next day it's like oh fucking hell no i make the fucking rules like it is just

the human experience that sometimes you'll feel really sure of your own opinions the next day it's like i literally don't think i believe a single one of my own thoughts yeah it's just weird life is you know what life is weird just a weird thing weird world we're in it really is i had something i wanted to say to you but i can't remember it now who me yeah you just me alone like in secret no no everyone could be here it definitely involved harry it definitely like that was a bit of it oh it was keep your friends close harry that was it oh good well i'm glad you got that out then oh yeah i'm glad they got out it was because the taylor swift thing what was it again about just kind of like when someone close to you losing relation losing someone really close to you then you feel extra vulnerable because it's

like oh this person who now maybe is my enemy or might want to hurt me knows all the ways that they can really spitefully do that because i've shown them my insides and my my my truth yeah do you know i mean like if we were to have a huge falling out oh god well she knows my insides oh god it would go down well it's really not gonna go down well it's like yikes god that is really scary but that is also um why sort of breakups are like a scary thing like a super vulnerable thing because a relationship you're putting i mean i hope everyone is putting their full selves into it and not holding back it's like okay i'm literally suddenly someone i don't know has gone from being a complete stranger to within i don't know if you've been going out with someone

for like a year you're kind of viewing that as like a very significant person in your life but really in the scheme of your life you barely fucking know this person so then a breakup can be so devastating because it's like you've lost this person that you've put so much of yourself into yeah but actually it's like um that's the whole fucking point that is the point that is the point of life and i think as well i think the crux in general is to not feel bad about feeling scared to like be honest or i think having fear around like all of these words sound really wanky like being who you are or like no but it's true giving your truth it's like why is that so cringe like is there a better way of saying that that i'm missing do you know i mean like why can i not think of like a normal sane person way of saying it is there a better way of saying it do you know what

i mean just like living honestly living authentically it's like oh i literally know no words today so you'll be doing better than me it's just making me ill the way that i'm speaking but i can't find another way around it so sorry you're just having to bear with but i think my corrective what i'm trying to say my underlying message always really is don't feel bad for feeling um scared to be like vulnerable and don't feel bad to like it's hard it's hard out here in this world it's a scary world and trusting people and like really giving yourself to people in your life is scary but you can do it and i think it's again like a lifelong thing of these things come and go like we are constantly changing one day you'll be oversharing the next

day you'll be like i couldn't possibly say how i really feel i don't want to be a burden yeah i don't have a full sentencing me today like i don't know any words yeah i don't know any words i can't string a sentence together it's all good like these things come and go i just think have lots of time and lots of patience and lots of love for yourself that's the main mission here it really is actually i think that is to be honest the main mission here that is the crux harry like we yeah you're not gonna find it anywhere else i promise you that the main hall crux is in you so you're not gonna find it okay beautiful um if you've heard me like kissing something i'm kissing my dog i can't help it so i will try and get rid of that but like no don't leave it in why don't you i'm not just

kissing you guys no yeah let's just send some kisses out just live authentically be yourself live your truth that's horrible i hate it live your truth oh god okay if you don't hear from us assume the worst We'll be right back. Creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet.