Goes Without Saying - in your 20s and confused: it's not just you

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on reality and dissociating, 'shifting', vaginas, self-acceptance, and one direction. ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Goes Without Saying, you're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Wing. And I'm Sefi. And this is another lovely episode reflecting on the mess of the past few years.

It's not just you. You're not the only one a little bit stressed out, overwhelmed, finding it hard to cope maybe. But we're here to hold your hand through it. This is quite a chaotic episode. We're live in the studio so there's a lot of energy being thrown in all directions. So don't judge us or listen to what we say really. Just take it with a pinch of salt. Just between us.

Enjoy. Enjoy. Hi. Hi. People of Panem. I don't know if you heard that. I'm knackered all of a sudden. Me too. We're in the studio once again.

Best place to be, in fact. And it is really nice to be here. It's the best. I don't know what we've done. Oh, I know what we've done. Made a weird video about a croissant. thought you're gonna say what yeah no more will be said on that yeah but that's what the first hour of the studio we used to make a video about a croissant um i hope you'll see it at some point yeah you will you're seeing a ton of stuff on instagram and tiktok at the moment shall we talk about that for a second? The fact that Jesus Christ,

we're making like videos. Also, people are loving them. Yeah. They're going down a storm. I'm so glad. Which feels great. It's weird. I think it's a weird adjustment and we've been slowly,

slowly working our way up to like being consistent video wise. But I'm loving it at the moment. Me too. I do think it's an adjustment and I think it's good to be getting in the habit of it before first of July famously the day that YouTube videos begin yeah I think that's what I'm really feeling is like any like kind of on the train here I edited

one and put it up and like any moment I have I'm just making a little something because I think that will get us into a nice rhythm for July where I feel much more like editing the podcast is a totally different experience yeah so I would just like to say a little thank you to you for making all this beautiful videos oh well I'd like to say thank you to you for starring in them thank you so much being my star my muse co-stars honestly co-stars but no it is so nice because I would find that torturous oh really actually my mum told me recently I'm using tortuous wrong tortuous tortuous is how you say it torture so I would say to be tortured is torturous oh god it's torturous but tortuous

tortuous I think she's the exact kind of thing that your mum would know yeah apparently torturous is not a word huh well she was like you're using it wrong it's tortuous is what you yeah I hear that now actually that means a journey that is like twisting and turning so it's like oh it was a tortuous journey but it was one of those things I thought god okay I've been using that like very wrong and quite regularly and it's like god i'm all for someone whose life is really pleasant we've been using that quite a lot yeah okay nice yeah always learning here yeah um last episode went down a storm as well i get the gist they like the longer apps oh my god i'm getting a heavy gist from everyone yeah yeah that was crazy actually i hadn't really looked at the response we heard you the first time yeah people were even coming I loved it yeah people were writing I guess everyone seems to

prefer it's like so we all agree then yeah longer um and thank you guys for making that known it's nice because it would be gutted gutting if everyone was like oh we want them shorter please like less we just don't want you yeah that would be sad well how are you feeling anyway in life and in the space and stuff we had a really nice big conversation in the last episode about like post-pandemic uneasiness yeah we did it's not just you great title it's a great title that was a time where the title came to me in full yeah and it wasn't let's do that episode yeah that was the it's not a topic that came to me it was a it was a full time totally which is a backwards working yeah sometimes I'll get a little whisper of a title the end of it or the beginning of it yeah but the full thing post and I believe in it so heavily post-pandemic uneasiness it's not just you I've never believed anything so much in my life honestly it's not just you post-pandemic

uneasiness post also it's like no one's talking about the uneasiness. No, and I'm feeling the uneasiness every day. There's something uneasy about what I'm experiencing. Not necessarily torturous. Yeah, exactly. It's not torturous. Or tortuous. Whatever it is.

But it's definitely, definitely uneasy. Just under the surface, kind of subtle. Something's amiss here. Something's amiss. Yeah. Something is afoot. Students out of bed are still hot. Okay.

Well, let's crack on then. 11.11, thank you. Keep tagging us in your story. Sorry, I know it's like roll up, roll up. What's new in the town? Cryer here today. Updates in town. Bulletin board, guys.

It's 11.11. YouTube's coming. 11.11's lovely to see. And the Crux Club. Thanks to everyone to see and um the crux club thanks everyone can you guys tell we're trying we're actually doing so much and i feel like it's coming so naturally as well like we go through phases it's kind of like the podmas thing that we always talk about we have to put the tampon all the way in all the way if you're new here sorry we just say we came into the studio today and there was just a tampon on the side and then it was the sad moment you've made a great point of like now we have to take it because they're gonna think we left it otherwise okay I put it in the is it

we're just to take a tampon there was a hide well it was right there on the sofa I thought I can't leave yeah a tampon right right because they'll think sephian wing have left a tampon in here it wasn't used just gonna also no it was in the packet and i did think to myself i could well yeah nothing wrong with that absolutely no absolutely yeah but i don't really want to get the reputation as tampon levers i don't want to be a litter bug no we've been speaking recently about um this very morning yeah i've been saying this actually to anyone who will hear me which now unfortunately is you harry yeah littering really really um bugs devalues somebody in my eyes yeah i could have a pleasant opinion of somebody even something that i don't really know i'll generally think and i genuinely generally and genuinely do have relatively positive feelings positive feelings about strangers on the street

people that i interact i think i'm someone who goes through life with a little bit of the benefit of the doubt for other people like i think i do kind of go through life and think i'm sure you guys are all right and i've had multiple no you don't that's why i keep you around because i need some of that pizzazz in my life i assume the worst you do until someone proves me otherwise yeah which is fair well twice recently I've been uh convinced and proven otherwise there was one time and I've literally sorry I've already told you this but no I sat on the train I had like a nice interaction you know when you have a little smile you share an eye with kind of someone who is like maybe a similar age to you there was basically just a girl we were kind of the aisle was dividing us but we both sat on twos in the train i looked at her she looked at me we were getting locked

locked eyes and i thought yeah good for you i'm happy for you hope you're okay whatever yeah shared some smiles he ding anyway went on blah blah she got off what did she do left behind her freaking salad pot that's bad on the floor and i immediately she went from coolest girl in the world just to go i thought yeah just just generally i rank the girls in this world pretty high she went all the way to the pits of hell for me then the other day it was just before an event and i was waiting in the park and i was sat on a bench and i looked over and i had again some little pleasantries just some little smiles ding with a woman who was probably like our mum's age and her mum so there's kind of an older woman and an older older woman smiling smiling whatever ah they were kind of admiring

um i had flowers with me because i'd just come from the event they were admiring the flowers famously whatever sat down whatever blah blah blah watched them leave what did they leave behind sandwich boxes all over the bench in a public park i just thought it was bang out of order to be honest and i literally thought i thought you guys were you made a fool out of me yeah i thought you guys were so nice boy was i wrong yeah you're litterbugs people are litterbugs and it's so bad i don't know why i it really irks me no it's terrible it's a real like lack of respect for literally someone is gonna have to pick that up also i had this this very morning on the train i had a coffee and a little brownie that i'd eaten the wrapper of that and the coffee um really delicious raspberry brownie yum and i was walking down the train with my um

as they call them on planes empties do you ever notice they're like any any litter any empties I'm like empties video I just find it weird to call it empty kind of s-y button it is s-y button yeah queen queen um queen and castle yeah she is what's she up to these days I know she's engaged is she yeah to who some guy not Aslan some lucky fellow not Aslan is that bad is that sort of

back back back in the day of course it is you know that no I know but it's almost like I'm pretending I'm not here I'm covering my I didn't even hear

where I dropped that name it's just a great name to be honest isn't it it is yeah the lion the lion my lion Shay don't Shay my lion shay don't

shay my lion don't anyone watching game of thrones oh my god i watched that recently

not that episode but the episode just before all of that like you know what's bad is that when she calls tywin my lion

it's terrible no it's horrific it's absolutely horrific i love that bit my lion shay don't

don't shay don't he's don't when he's like i love that all the people in that world can't decide on what everyone's name is aria is that aria aria anyway you had your empty sorry i could just go and go on that yeah episode honestly um i was walking down with my empty stuff and i walked through the first class compartment how the other half honestly and it's filled every single table just like just filled with shit and i was literally like i was walking through going yeah no really make it known like kind of like sort of walking through that sort of dirty looking

them all like you know someone else is gonna have to pick this up it's not a thing that's like um oh that's i put it in the wrong bin or something and it's i haven't recycled it or blah blah blah which is still wrong you should recycle things but it's so fucked up knowing that someone is gonna have to pick up your dirty fucking sandwich boxes i actually just find it um infuriating it just it tells me so much about someone yes also just one more thing on the subject no absolutely famously i often swim in a river i swim in a river. I swim in a river very often. I haven't actually been yet this year, which is crazy. Because the summer hasn't kicked in. Like, I'm sorry, what?

I used to swim in the winter, but I just haven't been. Oh, it's a different time. That was mid-pandemic uneasiness. It really was. And a bit post, a bit post. But so there's a river that I swim in near my house and it is utterly stunning.

I go early in the mornings but sometimes i was going in the evenings and the difference between the morning when i was fresh there and it's just beautiful to when i go in the evenings there'll be um sort of portable barbecue sort of bits of tin foil left over sort of bags of doritos just like in the river and it's like you fucking foul loathsome evil little cockroaches which i've never laid eyes on you i and you can keep this hunk of tin yeah that's barbecue grill and so often it's just like okay well i'm just going around picking up other people's litter

putting them in a fucking plastic bag and it's like this isn't really how i want to spend my evening not really it takes you two seconds you piece of human trash to pick up your own it's very rude it's i think it's extra bad to do it and also an animal is going to choke on this like oh it's one thing to do it where a human is going to pick it up littering i's so funny actually we haven't been this passionate about something in so long but i really believe it pick up your shit and move on like everyone else is managing it yeah who the fuck do you think you are it's bad let me adam if you let honestly look i think look okay this speaks to you if you litter because i know some of my friends have littered before and you know not in front of me um be the last thing

you do it's crazy the last thing you do god but if you do i think like it's not too late to start take the shame out of it because actually i did read some something once about um actually i think i heard it maybe on radio 4 which tells you something about every time you drop radio for you it's like every time i get a tattoo it drives a wedge between us every time you listen to radio 4 drives a wedge between us i'm not in my life listening to radio 4 but my parents both listen to radio 4. So I hear it. Yeah, tortuous. Tortuous.

And it pays off. This is why they know these things. Also, my mother's private school education. My parents can't send an email. It's crazy. But she'll know that. Actually not joking. No, they could send an email.

Only if they had help. God, an email. Yeah. To be honest, they are hard. To be honest, I struggle. Yeah. I do. That's why you send an email, chump. I really struggle with an email. Yeah. To be honest, they are hard. To be honest, I struggle. They probably, yeah. I do. That's why you said an email, chump.

I really struggle with an email. Like, the proper form. I can reply being like, hey, yeah, thank you. If my parents got asked what's their email address, like, they would have to think and, like, track it down sort of thing. Wow. Do you know what I mean? Think about it.

Do you know what I mean? It puts it into perspective, doesn't it? Yeah, that massively does, because I don't know anyone that doesn't know their email address. You do, you do. You do. What's up with their email address? Yeah, you're just not aware of that no i'm not aware of that which is fine what were your teachings um so she was saying the woman on the radio god this lady yeah yeah

um she was talking about um reasons why people litter and a big reason that some people litter is shame is like if people have sort of binged or something like that they often litter the stuff like the sort of say you've eaten a big bag of like biscuits or crisp or something yum they will litter the stuff because it's easier just to sort of like get rid of it like throw out your car window or something rather than take it home and bin it and that was a big reason why people litter so does kind of tell you something okay but i get that but why don't you just put it in the bin well exactly but sorry anyway totally but that was one of the maybe i'm being an arsehole but it just pisses me off a little bit it's horrific it's inexcusable so that's why i'm sort of saying take the shame out of it like yeah you're going the nicer angle well

i'm kind of going on the thing of like it yeah it's not too late to start winning your things like always you're trying to appeal you're not a litter bug or a not lit or a sort of you can be a normal person about eco warrior i think it's something about respect it's terrible it's about respect for other human beings even if you don't give a shit about like the earth and stuff think about the other put the person who is getting paid not enough money to pick up your shit anyway exactly and on that note yeah and that is the crux there crux of life someone's gonna have to go through binning that shit it's crazy but the fact that's never occurred is crazy but i also think for some people it does occur and they just don't care

red flag red say that flag anyway anyway i'm so sorry about this is about this is kind of the second half of the first of last week's episode we're gonna delve a bit deeper in the just the weirdness of the post post the past few years yeah and kind of um since we're all in the same boat here i'll take it upon myself to say we're all feeling the uneasiness i think let's just delve into it and unpack all the shit that needs to be unpacked yeah shall we let's do it okay should we look at some other people's please have you got your thing on yeah yeah well done and since 11 11s i'm having instagram on my phone much more how are you finding that fine i just don't i just don't really like it yeah it's fine but it's not my favorite place to be

fair enough how do you like view a story archive it'll be something i'm trying to find but is that not on here mine totally the wrong area only there we go archive god granddad using this thing why can't i find it my mom trying to he's like genuinely it's like right okay where do i go that's so difficult okay oh my god the first thing i just saw just took me back to something that we both got quite into i draco talk someone just said i'm not on draco talk yeah so the question we asked was how has your identity shifted since covid yeah hear more in monday's episode that was we did the last episode um i'm not on draco talk anymore that was the time that was crazy right so you can't tell me some weird kind of phenomenon harry potter tiktoks happened and now what we've all moved on and you're supposed to convince me that the pandemic wasn't that big of a deal huh and we're all just getting on with it that to me is

a real testament how nuts everyone was and like how i forgot all about it we were um entertaining ourselves how communities were building online like how we were reviving old like media because of the lack of fresh content that we had access to yeah and fan that a huge fantasizing element of that like people were going to another world people were like doing the weird thing where it's like you're you're taking the clips of cedric um being like take this to the bathroom holy hell and then they're editing him being like hey i saw you in the common room earlier like you look really good and god we got so deep into that when we it was probably a few weeks of like intensely you were in love with cedric and i was in love with drake and i still do love cedric so much but not really to the level that we were kind of we were sort of we lost our minds a bit

debilitated we couldn't do anything we were literally just sort of only living in these weird it actually also kind of brings in the conversation of your own one shifting it was a much bigger conversation people are still kind of going on about it they're yet to rear their heads into society but basically if you weren't there if you didn't catch that there was kind of this like subculture of essentially children on the internet saying that if you did all of these different things you could shift into a different reality which is very appealing oh of course it is and actually it reminds me and i don't know if we'll have time today but if we do i would like to a bit more sephi to swifty because there are a few songs

on the anthology of tortured poets and there's one in particular that i feel like links to shifting but just links to the energy of being like get me out of here sort of thing like i hate i hate it here take me somewhere else sort of vibes um but if you think that the majority this obviously isn't like a real statistic but if you think generally as a sweeping statement the people on tiktok who were talking about shifting to another dimension were mostly people under the age of 18 yeah cut to a few years forward where does that leave us like what is the impact of that how can we see that all of these kids essentially were so desperate to escape their real world they were creating all these different

narratives and all these different dimensions that they could escape to and who can blame them and who can blame them but how has that made them feel at the time and how do they feel now looking back that so you know many of those formative years were spent really and i think this is something people just relate to generally pandemic or not or like um kind of shifting or not i think everyone can relate to the concept of feeling a discomfort or just a general level of feeling uncomfortable in your life in your skin in your body um in the in your situation yeah in the times yeah feeling uncomfortable where you are and wanting to be someone else that like real um desire or like even like need to escape for children so young is so so sad yeah and obviously

that leaves a huge impact and this is why I think these conversations are just really important even if we're not giving anything like especially profound I just think it's important to recognize that like young people went through something so huge and challenging and there will be long-lasting impacts of that and so however that's playing out for you whether you were talking about shifting or not I hate no judgment here oh my god please tell me more never never never like it's crazy crazy crazy times yeah but no judgment because everyone went through something nuts and I just think it's really really it could actually not be overstated like I really think it's important just to recognize that so we can all kind of yeah learn and move on yeah I loved the emphasis in um COVID about um

sort of escapism like I feel like um media took on this whole other thing and that's why this podcast I mean so much of this was escapism for our listeners I assume if you found us in the pandemic I feel like we were probably one of the things that was like a bit of sort of relief for you it was definitely a relief for us to have something to like talk about something to claim every week yeah and like a huge huge part of the pandemic for us was Animal Crossing which is pure escapism that you go into this beautiful island and you're the resident representative or whatever it is your job to make it a beautiful island and choose the villagers and everything.

That was a huge part of it. And I mean, lucky for them, that game came out at the perfect time. And they abandoned it, which is so sad. Yeah, I know. They could have gotten a few more years pumping show on that, I think, but anyway. I just want more, more, more, more, more.

I mean, I always do, but greedy guts over here. But I can't help it. Genuinely. So good. I'm hungry. Hungry for more Tom Nook more I mean I always do but yeah greedy guts over here but I can't genuinely so good I'm hungry hungry for more Tom Nook I am actually maybe not him but kind of everyone else do you remember you had a beautiful villager I still think about sometimes Diana I still think about her no I do I just sometimes think god that was she was a beautiful she was the people's princess yeah she was yeah if there was anyone that had an impact on me during the pandemic my heart she's my style icon Diana people's hearts she was a little sort of deer with glasses she'd put on glasses and it was so cute she was a cutie girl she's still as cute

yeah I love that about the pandemic and shifting I think that being a sort of concept in the pandemic was definitely one of the stranger aspects of it do you remember there was one that we we've read a thing about shifting or we watched a tiktok or something that they were like okay guys so you oh god yeah and what is so funny about this yeah just to preface this um the funny thing about this story is the way that it outs your personal desire your personal desire for something to happen but sort of um branding it or like selling it as um oh I have some inside information which is just hilarious to me but they had said like so guys here's how you shift to Hogwarts here's what will will happen. Here's what will happen to you.

You put on this music, you lie there, you do your deep breaths and you start doing whatever it is. Visualising. Visualising Hogwarts, whatever. And then you, I can't remember exactly what it is. You open your eyes and Fred and George will pick you up and spin you around. That's how you know that you've shifted. And then you walk down and then sort of neville brushes your hair or something like it was like a weird thing yeah fred and george will pick you up

pick you up and spin you around was the one and it's like no like that isn't some inside information if you listen closely you can hear my heart breaking yeah or just you can hear me my cringe like i can't help but cringe for that it's definitely a 14 year old girl so there's only so much cringe that you know it's part of life and there's a part of admiration i have for her queen own it yeah but like there's so there's something so funny about that like um claim to having like guys i've accessed a new realm and what happens when you get to the realm is fred and george it's like i've actually experienced a physical metaphysical phenomenon guess what the first thing is fred and george are there you know fred and george from harry potter and they spin you around that's what happens it's like i it's crazy but also that is um a symptom surely of not being in the classroom

and sort of daydreaming out the window because it's like yeah fred and george have spun me around many a time or the equivalent when i'm bored in a lesson you know better than to share it no i'll share it but i won't say this is what happens when you access a realm i'll say guys i was just daydreaming about fred and george spinning me around we had an interaction where you were like i really want to learn shift at the beginning yeah I would love you were like shifting shifting I really want to learn shift and I was like Sefi I think this is actually like a really which does speak to the mental state yeah I was like I think it's actually not problematic like in a societal sense but I mean like mad yeah like not problematic for the person like for

implications on society for people doing it but problematic in the sense of like like i was just saying like this is how children are feeling like so trapped in their own lives it's just um pure delusion and um speaks to the isolation of yeah the time the times genuinely yeah and also kind of do that i still would should we try it now i wouldn't necessarily want to be picked up and lifted up and raised around by throwing in the air it's a bit much isn't it it's like what i take it in terms who goes first someone picked it or they both yeah yeah it's not ideal it's a bit like if a jarring intro to the world it's like

god you wake up it's like personally my worst case scenario i wouldn't mind it i'll be like cedric you'll be running to the common room get me out of here i like it i would love to be yeah i would love to uh be in the pandemic and then i close my eyes in my bedroom i wake up and i'm in the fucking joke shop it's not bad is it what the hell i mean anything's better than this i think that's the vibe and i am a spokeswoman for escapism like i think it's so important and cool actually and and just like a necessary state of like a human um existence and also i think it's just one of those classic things where when something is enjoyed by when something's demographic as young women it's ridiculed and it's just really sad and but I also do think we should ridicule Draco talk I mean totally it's mental um it also makes me think about and this is kind of the thing with the just the past few

years or whatever I feel like sometimes or I feel like actually not just sometimes all the freaking time there's a huge emphasis on like how much someone can um handle without kicking up a fuss or without expressing their discomfort and I feel like obviously for young people but also just for everybody over the past few years I feel like there's been a huge emphasis on when I was a kid I'm sure I've said this on the podcast before but people would often say to me like oh you just get on with it don't you or like yeah yeah like you just take it on the chin or like you've got um like you just put it in the way yeah you're very resilient you just you know nothing bothers you like you're just oh whatever blah blah blah it's not a compliment it's

not a compliment i think it's a crazy damaging thing to say to a child and to make a child think that there's some sort of currency in like how much quiet being quiet and almost taking like injustice yeah and just taking it or like not don't stand up for yourself don't cause a scene like yeah don't um just almost if something or even like say you have an operation it's like well you're back on your feet by the Tuesday don't be don't be sad or don't be anxious or don't cry like no almost you'd be praised for not crying or you'd be praised for um yeah not complaining I think there's just a real like misplaced emphasis on Emphasis on... gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson, and this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer, and we are a part.

Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Gay Animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com Kids, I would say specifically young women being told to shut the fuck up. I don't know why I keep talking about labor recently but for example like people being told to be quiet during labor and stuff it's like sorry that I'm bringing a human onto the planet no big deal don't mind if I just yelp a little bit I'm not going to be yelping I'm going to be cursing the crowd i'm gonna be like how gather this how dare so it was written genuinely it is prophesied as above so below

the curtains in the ward are shaking i'm gonna be feeling because i'm i'm actually and and as people in my life will know that I could barely fucking cope with the injustice of a smear test genuinely I find it so it's so important guys goes without saying so important goes without saying go and get it it's the best um thing you've got available quickest thing you could ever do totally something definitely went wrong in my first smear test definitely definitely definitely something went wrong it was excruciatingly painful um and awful actually just dreadful and I've had a second one since and that one was not painful and it was the classic like discomfort scratching feeling that people talk about and that made me yes horrible just clenched my vagina my vagina yeah absolutely yeah okay not ideal but you can do it guys but that was fine the discomfort but i

remember after my first one i came home and i was bleeding like a bit and i was like kind of shaking i went and bought some chocolates of lupin style it helps it trust me it helps and I was really shaken up by it I was like god I was expecting that to be not that bad but it was really fucking horrible actually and something definitely like slipped out of place or something bad happened in that um and and everyone was like god you've got such a low pain tolerance and all of this stuff and in my second one I was so prepared for it that I was like okay I was vaping CBD the entire way there and in the hospital toilets don't tell anyone had taken paracetamol I was just right I was just and I asked for the this is my top tip ask for the

small speculum ask for that if you're ever scared of the pain hideous and also I had a numbing gel I would also add this is my controversial take but I do this for most things in a medical sense I ask for a woman like doctor or nurse I had a man in mind which he was slightly better but than the first one but it's still just horrible having a man put numbing gel on your vagina it's like I'm sorry yeah it's just not an idea i just can't do that i didn't think of it and then i got that i was like oh my god it's a man i didn't think of it but it was fine but a man putting gel over your vagina isn't my favorite thing in the world but it was fine um but only after that second one being fine i

realized oh my god it wasn't a low pain tolerance or whatever people wanted to say it was a bad smear something went wrong and it wasn't nice and it but when you say something went wrong that oh god it sounds horrible something just I don't want to scare them into not getting them you have to get it you have to it's okay well the alternative is it gets a lot it will be a lot worse if you don't get it like you have to okay um i agree that's the rule guys yeah it's not up for debate you should go and nothing's you're gonna be fine totally and my biggest advice is relax and i've given all those bits of advice it's more speculum all of the stuff of course so true that's um

and the second one was fine yeah and also i think you're allowed to be angry at the pain and you are yeah you're allowed to speak about your experience i think it's um part of the problem that it's like it's just uncomfortable for women it's just like a little thing blah blah and it's like childbirth that it's like oh it's just a painful thing and that's just a natural pain that women must feel in their lives it's not actually it's absolutely not um doesn't have to be like that it really doesn't but it's because of the system that we live in that does not value um people with vaginas and that does not have to be the painful horrific um torturous used wrong experience that it is in our society that women are just supposed to put up with that pain there are so many ways if there was any funding put into this a hundred years ago which of course there wasn't it would not be the experience that it is and i think that is something

that is okay to be angry about totally because it's not fair in any way that women have to be in pain for something that's natural it's just not and it wouldn't have to be like that if women if i could literally spend the next 100 years just talking about the vagina and what is expected of people with vaginas to go through yeah like it's really crazy crazy and actually just a shame it's like this is we litter and we don't care about vaginas like it's mental yeah but I also just want to say everybody get this that's like crux yeah it is horrible and it's not very nice but also you just you literally don't really have another option so do it also I reckon you'll be the kind of person who you go in there and you get everything's really normal just relax into it ask for small

speculum take some paracetamol have some chocolate in your bag I would say CBD or anything that you can help you chill out that sort of thing is perfect and also I feel like a huge thing is talking to the nurses before and just say I'm really nervous for this and they'll be like oh okay that's really normal I think in my first one I went in being like yeah like I'm fucking let's just make this quick. And before you know it, there's a thing being rammed up your vagina. Probably more anxious than you thought you were as well. I don't think I even, it didn't occur to me. I was literally like, chilled as anything.

I went in like, right, let's fucking get this done. And then before you know it, it's like, this is like, ah, wasn't my favorite experience. God, I feel like crying. Yeah, it wasn't nice, but it was fine. Aye, aye, aye. But I think, I think she was maybe a bit new or something i don't know what god i don't know yeah it was fine yeah let me yes please yes please yes please wow okay this is interesting as well i haven't worn jeans since covid yeah i

feel that yeah you're in them right now but you find them comfy you say these are very comfortable these are actually a little asos situation i have them in black as well and they're like they're almost like um can i feel the yeah you know when you can feel that a t-shirt yeah slightly stretchy no they're not stretchy they're just soft yeah some jeans are like very thick and like dense material and these are not but i actually had a thing this morning we had a brief conversation about it bloody hell this morning guys obviously i was desperate for a wee once again the vagina like let's yeah it is a sexist problem of course it is um women are not allowed to use toilets wherever they go i would say i'm running around full of urine i'm absolutely desperate for a wee running running running around get to the studio finally

i'm actually like early so i was like great i can come in i can go for a wee i can set up i can get the mics ready whatever make a great use of time alack couldn't get in the front freaking door there was no one to let me in so i was banging well i wasn't banging the door i was knocking politely kind of it was banging a little bit yeah i was just you know seeing if there was any give yeah there wasn't yeah looking around lights were off nobody's home i'm like what the fuck i'm actually gonna piss myself with this front door like this is a disaster went into the coffee shop opposite the studio do you guys have a toilet no we don't you can walk down the rest of the road and that other place has a toilet i was are you joking what if i'm on my period what if

i'm pregnant what am i supposed to do i'm gonna piss myself all over your freaking face people like help me somebody help me out all over your face on the floor now it's like oh no but i get extremely passionate the only thing i'm passionate about is littering and pissing myself the ability to pee so then i had to schmooze my way into another, like a full-on restaurant at like 11 in the morning so I could use their toilet. And it worked. And I said to Sefi after, I was like, I knew I didn't wear my sweatshirt and joggers this morning. I literally had a joggers and sweatshirt on. You know, the ones you always wear.

Yes. The grey ones. Which makes me feel like sort of a prison outfit. Right. So this is what I was saying. So then after I came out i was like i knew i didn't wear those joggers for a reason because i was in jeans yeah and like a my trench so like i looked like a normal functioning member of society i looked like the kind of person who

i look like i transcended my class they're gonna let me into the toilet perfect and she did amazing piss piss pissed away came back up i was still a bit annoyed about it whatever finally got into the studio sephi was there everything was fine save the save the day yeah but then i said sephi after i said the famous line i knew i didn't wear joggers for a reason today because i had to schmooze my way into the blah blah blah and yeah it does look like a prison elf but i also think they're so um people wear tracksuits around they're like i do i wear all the time i wear joggers i think that's all the glam look now sort of uh yeah but it still is not doing what a jean would do i also think for that restaurant that you used maybe they would be exactly exactly and this is the the case i was pleading this morning i was like no like trust me i got in so much easier the schmoozing just

hit different because i was wearing jeans um but that said I think you should never wear jeans again if you don't like wearing jeans like yeah I don't like them very much I definitely I've had this thought a few times and I know we've had this conversation a few times of like I know most people have kind of if you work in an office like you're probably back in the office like maybe hybrid like you're a few days in the office or whatever there's still a lot of working from home going on maybe you work somewhere where you've got a uniform maybe you're going to uni whatever whatever your life is i'm sure in some way you felt the kind of implications or i would say even the ramifications of living in a pandemic and being really comfy and wearing

kind of the same slobby old stuff that you've been wearing for the past four months then slowly like suddenly people are looking at you again yeah and you're interacting with the world again and there's an expectation adjustment there's a there's a real adjustment of like the awareness of oh shit i haven't really got dressed properly in two years like that's not ideal it's a bit crazy isn't it and there was definitely a long stretch of time where I just wasn't getting ready in the same way like getting ready getting dressed whatever and there can obviously like that can get you down big time big freaking time I definitely remember there being a point where it was like okay I need to start I need to make a bit of an effort just on the just in a general day like when I'm not seeing anyone when I'm not doing anything when my plan is literally to lie in bed all day I still it would help me to maybe yeah wash my hair or like maybe get out of my pajamas and just like about washed hair yeah or

just into a tracksuit or something but to sort of um create some separation between sleep and my day like I was really um just going through like I was staying in my pajamas all day and I'll stay in them all night and I'll stay in them all like I really was just pandemicking it up but remember they're coming a point after a few months of just being like I'm not really um getting dressed or anything being like I think maybe just like some mascara would help me feel like a human again and i remember putting on makeup and being like fucking hell are you kidding me like what the hell like literally you're like whoa money bag oh you've been hiding under there like it was a crazy moment yeah it

really is it is a crazy moment sometimes i like to do that not um if i haven't worn makeup for like a week looking like shit for a few days and then be like bloody hell yeah it's crazy what kind of a few days i can do just forget what you look like okay i'm looking for another one oh thank you i really like you being the one on your i'm i get to kick back yeah yeah it's my phone's over there i feel like yeah you can steer the ship yeah i'll be in the back right we're going down guys pretending i don't exist a lot of people are saying that they realized they were gay that's a huge oh my god i saw like six messages saying basically the same thing like i'm gay now yeah yeah i realized i was

yeah like they all came through within like the same breath and I thought you guys all hanging out together or something definitely a theme because you've come through all together which is an amazing um symptom of the pandemic that I think women were allowed to explore their internal worlds and that's why I love um sort of Draco talk and all of that shit that it's less about um the male gaze and like you're sort of stripped of your ability to you're just not around men anymore and then it's suddenly it's like right okay so i'm exploring what i like and i'm not having to perform anything i can just purely exist i can consume the things that i i'm seeing these men online i'm seeing these girls i

don't need their validation but what's more appealing to me yeah it's fascinating I think it's also kind of what we're saying in the last one about like the levels of introspection and also I think when people had so much time just alone with themselves I think if you got lucky a nice consequence of that could be a sense of like security in yourself or like feeling like okay I've spent a lot of time with myself now I think I really know myself now I'm feeling a little bit more confident in like an ownership over who they are regardless of like who they're with or what they're looking at or whatever just feeling like okay actually you know what if the

world is burning as well add that to it maybe it's okay that i think girls are so much more stunning than men goes without saying yeah also i think the internet really or not necessarily even lends itself to women but women have learned to appeal on social media it's like i rarely rarely rarely see a man online that i think is attractive but i will walk past him in the street and be like oh there's something about him whereas women we know we have we have known for a while natural storytellers we are and we're natural born um performers like we know how to curate we know the lighting we know the angles we know how to take a photo of ourselves whereas men from what i'm seeing they don't have to in the same way they really don't i also seeing they don't have to in the same way they really don't i also think they don't have a clue social media and just the internet in general

obviously lends itself like people can just fall into um like friendships and communities much more than they can like i mean if people have shame around putting their chris packets in the bin i think there's a lot of shame in life people interacting as themselves people making friends people connecting with others in a certain way that feels really specific to them the freedom of being online for a lot of people and for a lot of young people allows them to like explore a version of themselves explore a version of themselves yeah that they haven't tried out in the real world yet yeah like you can you're kind of free to explore something in the safety of this digital realm that doesn't really exist or have any like bigger more long-lasting severe implications

in your natural real world like your parents might not know or um your uncle doesn't have exactly you don't have to answer to anyone yeah you can have some level of like safety and security with like a network that you found on the internet which is so um powerful powerful and one of the best things about the internet on a short list of great things about the internet it's up there towards the top and it is short but even i think the pandemic amplifies that because it's like there was you got nowhere you're stripped of reality so really all that exists is your bedroom your walk and your zooms that you do with friends and yet the internet that's kind of it god that's a bit harrowing that was it it was like what you're gonna eat today what maybe zoom you're

gonna do with your friends i'll do a walk listen to podcasts and i'll go on my fucking tiktok thing oh god that was kind of it right so even then it's like i i think i talk about the pandemic i feel like i'm coming off like i talk about it all the time i feel like generally this episode but i think generally because no one talks about it even i feel like i have maybe more of a slightly increased awareness of it than like the average joe the average schmuck well everyone's decided to forget just forget it but then even when you say things like that it's like i have blacked out so much of it yeah and just the awareness of that like that is not a crazy statement to make that generally speaking most kids for example most

people generally in the world a lot of people for the first time at least were living in something that was really new and for a lot of people they were waking up and they were stripped of what their life normally was and yeah they had like their phone they had their their wherever they were living and their phone in their hand that is crazy horrid actually just actually really like it goes without saying but yeah sad the severity of that like yeah all we've done is understate it i think for the past few years well i think it says a lot it actually speaks volumes to me we didn't see each other for over a year me and you yeah me and you yeah that's crazy you and i yeah you and i oh don't know what it is one one day and i

you remember that one no i was never really that into them neither but i did see them live though once nothing can come between this is a smash hit you and i you and i i don't know it which is crazy that i don't you and i literally don't know that you don't know you and i but i wonder no no i'm sure they were walking down like a pier and their faces were all morphing into each other jesus no i don't know that's horrifying i was more justin bieber sort of fan and i what else can i give you that will make you know that i guess you don't you and i we don't know nothing can go through i don't know that's crazy that's so mad yeah no i don't know that you just crazy seems like a bit of a deep cut or was it here trust me it's not a deep cut wow god i don't know it it's probably a number one i don't know if one direction really scored many number

ones but it's definitely a top 10 i'd say yeah it's one of their biggest i literally don't know it that's a weird thing all these little things yes right so i couldn't go any further than what about and we danced all night to the best song i put you and i in the same kind of ranking as best song ever yeah it was big i don't know what about um midnight memories yeah but i've never like i don't think i've ever like heard that fully through well no but you can't help but catch it it's almost yeah i hear that walking past a shop exactly but i've never heard that you and i want you probably have do you know what i mean you know what you definitely have but it hasn't stuck you and me got a whole lot of history well how the fuck do you know because that I think came out maybe at a later point it did that I it's weird for you to know that yeah because when I worked at that wedding magazine um they would play that on and

I remember the woman that was like the graphic designer was like I really like this song it's a bit sexy and I remember thinking that's quite weird because you're about 50 and uh these are my crushes from like when I was 13 like this is weird oh so did you have a crush on one director yeah I liked Louis which is so lame I liked Louis as well but I thought it was being nice so did I I thought it was like I probably got a chance oh really mine was I used to say I like Kevin the best Kevin Jonas this is the kind of people pleasing this is the twisted the twisted mind of Ariana Morali is I will preempt who's maybe feeling bad about themselves and I'll be like no I like you no no Nick that was mine and make them feel important special yeah I loved Nick but I now do not see what I was thinking Jo there's obviously Jo but for me it's Sophieie turner rules oh yeah

of course that's the final boss she really is but i mean joe was just so powerful yeah joe is powerful who was your favorite um remember of jls were you into them i was big time into jls what about what if i said uh if i died would you come to my funeral would you cry would you have some respect that you didn't try what about um i saw them merry christmas there's more like this merry christmas my favorite was a riche because i yeah i i i just think i thought he was more attainable i think i would be like this everyone wants ashton this is what i was saying to you recently when i was saying about dwight shrew and the people who would have been in the audition process for dwight shrew i'm throwing out these heavy let's not bring them but she wants to go why are you going for the run of the litter you've almost got a bit of a death wish i think because because you obviously there's some level of insecurity i hate to say that you're projecting

that makes you think well i can't get the my sister said this i'll go for the run and i'll be set at least i'll have more power over lizzie said this she was like you go for men that you know are beneath you disposable because at least then they'll want you yeah crazy yeah it's really sad but i'm not you but i don't think it's that i um i think it's just so deep in me that it's not he'll be lucky to have you no but i don't think it's even like oh i'm not attracted to him so i think it's like i'm physically attracted to people that are potentially a bit ugly a reshape is that his name i don't know I'm not attracted to Arisha but that was like I was about and he's not ugly well he's not exactly a looker I wouldn't say I don't think well is that

I mean I wouldn't call someone ugly do you want to see no JLS okay let me show you JLS no I think I identified as a young girl okay so he's probably the one I've got the chance with that's absolutely mad really horrible or JB who is also probably a 30 year old woman 30 year old man yeah and I was probably about nine as well as the time perspective so if I died would you come to my funeral would you cry would you have some regret that we didn't try so good okay so what are some other ones so ashton obviously the hot one or maybe aston i can't remember marvin hottie jb he's merry christmas and then i thought i thought okay i think maybe this man yeah okay i think i probably did like Merry Christmas Merry Christmas

I wrapped it up And what else did they sing? Ashton Not Ashton I'm so sorry I won't be it again What was the other one though? Wait what was the really

What was the hit? Be it again It's killing me Oh my god Oh my god Everybody in love Go put your hands up Everybody in love

One shot How does that go? You only You in love one shot how does that go you only you only got one shot so make it count you will never get this moment again yeah see these were my this was my she makes me wanna she makes me wanna oh oh oh oh oh that can't be oh my god do you know the best one this is the absolute best one the club is alive music who's that girl on the dance floor oh yeah she turns me on crazy crazy crazy to be like i think we can do like a dance version of the sound of music the club is alive that's crazy like definitely they watch sound of music the hills are alive they're not writing it the club so then one direction came in yes and used um what do they do they use that for their perfume what the hills are alive with the

sound of music what did they use their passion i'm sure they used the sound of music when ariana did um seven rings everyone was like why she copied one direction oh my god wait so there's a real thing with sound of music yeah why is no one doing like grease or the fun ones grace is so oh my god the club is alive that was so good everybody in love was the one they had condoms yes didn't they have a bit of a thing they were kind of like the tweenies or something they were yeah they're kind of the wiggle it was like yeah it was like red blue it was like red blue yellow and green or something yeah yeah you don't want to be yellow do you no i bet you areisha was yellow i think he might have been red his name is i can't believe you insulted him like that it's crazy i had a bit of an awareness

uh reality check the other day those are the colors aston was blue areisha red marvin green jb yellow it's a bit tally-toppies it's wiggles um i had a bit of a reality check the other day when we were at the apple event we had just posted the video where did you notice that so basically if you didn't hear a few episodes ago we were talking about tom felton oh god i thought the same thing this was bad tom felton then we weren't just talking about him we were ridiculing him yeah you're probably there guys you're probably living it up anyway we went a bit far no we didn't i agree with everything we said but it just was we fudged this thing up oh god find that anyway so basically had this conversation about tom felton we filmed it i posted a reel of it in it i kind of um yeah i thought you were very

um cryptic about it yeah i was because i didn't want to i thought it was first of all to be frank i thought it's less clickable to say tom felton's song yeah no one cares no offense um do they not well i thought it was more sellable to almost play it as if like you were kind of seeing this guy talk about shifting who was tom belton and he wrote an embarrassing song i just kind of played because i that's definitely what i got from it i thought wait should she know that i wasn't dating him like almost like wait was that someone like was that not tom felton was that like someone like oh god i called it like liking men is so embarrassing like whatever blah blah like you're always gonna move you like a guy it's gonna come back to bite you at some point it really is and it really did with tom felton cut to we were at the apple event like

a week later i thought this and we had a little interaction with you guessed it not tom felton so at this point but tom felton's manager and i thought don't look us up don't look at our instagram do not look luckily she would never want to well no don't look at us she would never be compelled to go on the second wing instagram and now it's a bit flooded out but so you don't want to get recommended that on tiktok it's like okay so the oh what's your instagram look at it the first thing is us roasting your client i was like oh god oh god oh god oh god we've already burnt our bridges before starting yeah pretty crazy i'd i've been thinking about that like we didn't even acknowledge it but i knew it was a moment it went without saying yeah like most things do most things do all right longer app

is this what are we on very much 56 minutes wow god you guys got what you're asked for yeah yeah that'll teach you yeah god all right thanks for listening guys love you so much join the clucks join the crux club on instagram also do you guys see what we're doing there crux club and they do but do they see a bit of slug club in there oh well that's not necessarily what we're doing yeah but i quite like that it's a little not yeah is it not i think it's a byproduct yeah okay fine it's not a happy coincidence well i'm not calling it slug club that's like oh my god get a life shift to hogwarts already oh god all right yeah join the cracks club because that's and oh my god thank you to everyone subscribing to our youtube oh my god it's so nice to see we've already got some people there yeah there's nothing on there

but there will be prepared so you get notified what if you say turn the bell on turn the bell ring the bloody bell ring the town bell. Ring the town bells. Roll up, roll up. And if you don't hear from us, assume the worst. Intro. Oh god. Is that what you're saying with your eyes?

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