Goes Without Saying - nayna florence: confidence, social media, & feeling lost in your 20s #1

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

EPISODE PART 1. ✷THE SUMMER BONANZA BEGINS. podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling (with nayna!) on insecurities on social media, consuming vs. creating content, the post-grad crisis, creativity and curation online, and harrowing childhood trauma (watching The Polar Express). ✷see more ✷ www.youtube.com/@sephyandwing ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwing ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwingshop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian Dairy, it's also refreshingly cheap just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet Exploring four seasons of courage incorporated with Duncan Sinclair Join me as we hear courageous and powerful voices Gun violence issues or like if we're on fire, we cannot deal with that stuff. On Dragons Den, they always say to people, you're not an entrepreneur. Anyone who have the guts to set up a company that's an entrepreneur. Congress looks very different on the continent of Africa. How are we inviting people with those experiences into the classroom?

That's bad management at that institution. They're turning down an idea. I was going to ask if you were going to take a run at the bank, but we'll look at that for another conversation. Subscribe now to Courage Incorporated, wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Wow. Is everybody happy? Everyone happy to continue? I feel good. Yeah, I feel good. Just checking in, everyone's happy to continue. Okay, great. What an honour. Yeah. What an honour.

Okay, wait, sorry, I was expecting the intro, but you do it at the end, don't you? Yeah. Oh, yeah, we do a little... But I don't think we'll do one for this. It kind of speaks for itself. It's like, does it need to be addressed? It goes without saying. I think so, it goes without saying. And also, it's just a bit weird to be like, go, is without saying, I'm Sefi, I'm Wing, I'm Naina. My god that's iconic, we've never had a third. We're Sefi and Wing and Naina. Oh I was dreaming. But I don't want to ruin the intro. You could never. The intro is always, it's quite funny as well because we do that at the end, we do a really free-flowing episode then it becomes the intro and I'm like, can we do another? Let's do another. And I can't get my words out. Well they're always quite succinct and to the point

that you wanna get across what it's about. But they're weird because I also always say I'm better the first time I say something is the best time, the best it will ever come out. That's kind of ideal. Yeah, it is. But it's bad for an intro or an advert. For example, Wings always like,

just make sure you get the word mental health in there. I'm like, I can't promise it. She's like, look, you can't, there's nothing I can say. I can't promise that. How would I know yeah, look, you can't, there's nothing I can say. Like, I can't promise that. How would I know if I'm about to say no to love or not? I can make you no promises, no guarantees. I could not be to know, I can't be held responsible. Okay, so just a general chitchat.

Just a little chitchat. Just a cozy. Lovely. It is cozy in here. Is it? Have I made it too cold? It's cozy in that it's dark, yeah. I would even go colder. I'm happy with the temperature.

Okay, good. I'm kind of happy with it. Colder feels like, oh my goodness. It was such a luxury to have access to aircon. Yeah, it is. I'm making the most of it. In central London, you'd never know such things. No, you'd never see it.

We did also pick somehow the hottest day of the year. Yeah. To drag you down to Shoreditch, so sorry about that. No, I love Shoreditch. I love to be here. I feel like I'm not portraying enough how cool it is to be here. But I'm hoping that that's just like...

He goes, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But I feel like we're the ones who need to make clear. No. No, but like really. We're actually so grateful that you're doing this. We were really like, we need you to know how nice it is. How much we adore, we adore, we adore.

We've always said we will only ever have two guests One is Dana one is Miley Cyrus. I was listening to that episode yesterday It's too much like I'm, like I can't even express, so I'm just gonna leave it. Oh my God, thank you so much. I'll just not say anything. Have we ever spoken about how you found us? How did you actually?

So you know on Spotify, the little recommended. I thought. Underneath your podcast. Thanks Spotify for that. No, just like on the home of my Spotify. Oh wow. Okay, yeah. You know, it has like the top like, yeah. Thanks Ev Spotify. Oh wow. Like you know it has like the top

like yeah. Thanks Evie. Thanks Evie we know that was you. And I was attracted to the art I think. Why? Yeah. Which one was it at the time? It was back in the day it was boxes. Was it something to do with checkered? I know that there's- That's after. Okay. I remember you put us in one of your videos, god bless. You got that. Oh after okay. I remember you put us in one of your videos god bless And it was not the artwork we have now not the one before yes And then even before that is sephina box me in a box. What do you mean by a box? Oh, we might I'll show you Really off its time. It's like I'm wearing a little bandana. I was really yes 2020 by it's not a photo. No, okay

It's it's an artwork. Yeah Here she is. Yes. Yes. Yes. Who are those girls? With a green hand lightning bow snake seppi and have reputation era as always Yeah, you were I was a bit yeah, I think it was also like Yeah, yeah Oh my god, that's pretty really good. It's quite a deep sofa. It is quite a deep sofa. You can sleep on it for sure. Okay, keep going. Sorry. Yeah, keep complimenting us if you don't mind.

But that is a throwback. It was like a... It was pandemic. Starting listening to a new podcast is like, whoa, I've gone well out my comfort zone here. I would happily just listen to stuff, watch stuff I've already seen over and over and over. Yeah.

Were you a podcast person before? Yeah, but I only really had like two on- You didn't love them like you love her. Definitely not. Oh, that's nice. Just put words into your mouth and then go, yes, about it. I've listened to every episode at least twice.

Naina, that's nuts. God, Naina. At least twice. That's crazy. You're a rocker. Not including like the last week, but like- But that would be crazy. Like Mondays were like only listen to once.

Because it is Tuesday today. But I have listened to it of course. God, that is so nice. Kind of heartbreaking I can't listen to this one. Of course you can. No, it's not the same. You might want to reflect. I hope nobody is like, because you know when your favourite podcast has a guest that you don't care about and it's like, shut up.

But do you know what I mean a little bit? But you know when like Friends you don't care about and it's like, shut up. Overruled. But do you know what I mean? Overruled. But you know when like Friends does a throwback episode and it's like, this just isn't what I wanted. Oh my god, that's the worst. We're gonna do best bits of the thing you just watched. Like Thanksgiving episode, no no, can't do it. Yes, because it's like, but I have watched them all.

Yeah. Awful. Yeah. So I'm hoping that nobody is like, no one listens. We won't even put the arm of your... Fuck them. So in our story, even put the arm of your story. So in our story there were the beans and your arm was in it and everyone was like can't believe you're with Nina. Oh my god.

Really? That's a lovely section. My favourite people. It was really nice. People were really excited just to see a glimpse. Everybody loves you. We should have taken more pictures though. I know. We should take some photos. Yeah we'll take photos today. Yeah.

Well thank you so much. I know it was love at first take some photos today. Yeah, it was today. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. I know, it was love at first sight, for sure. It was, it did. Yeah, genuinely, from the first episode, I was like, this is it, I'm ready. But I don't think I've really emphasised enough that I watched, it must have been one of your first videos. Yes, we've not really spoken about those.

It was your Edinburgh room tour. Which one? The really big room. The first, no, first year. First year? Yeah, you'd just got to Edinburgh. Oh my god, but there was like 20 subscribers at that point. Oh, I was one of them, I room. The first year. First year? Yeah. You'd like just got to Edinburgh. Oh my god, but there was like 20 subscribers at that point. Maybe not even that.

Blue photos, blue things on the wall. You know those are the Ikea stock photos. And I loved it. They went down the street with me. I was like, not even crazy. This guy's got style. I love this guy. Just like a cactus, of course. Yeah, they hit with me. I was like, wow, I love that. At the time, I thought that room eight. I was like, this is like, oh my god, I have like, interiorly designed this.

Yeah, and you really nailed it. But like, I still, it was still ugly. It wasn't. It was so blue and like, cold. Peaceful. That's what I thought it was giving me a walkthrough. It was giving Pisces Queen. It was like above a club as well.

Pisces Queen. Yeah, that's a bit, yeah. Are you a Pisces? For sure. That's interesting. I would like to know. Capricorn. Cancer, no no no.

I actually think I am very incompatible with cancers. Interesting. I'm meant to be most compatible with them. Really, with cancers? Yeah. What cancers do you know, Sefi? I don't know any, but I was on a chart. Not to name the things.

Not by chance. I don't know, yeah maybe, I think the charts. Not by chance. Not by chance. Oh, yeah, okay. I think it's because it was on a chart. It was like Capricorn and cancers do not get on, and I thought, I don't know any. You thought, yeah, I know. There's so many Sagittarius,

and I know so many Libras and Pisces. Interesting. So that's great. My moon is in Pisces, but I'm in Libra. Libra, yes, that one. Are we seeing that? No. I don't actually know that.

What would you think if you knew it no more? I don't, I can't. You'd just be like two cancers. But isn't that your moon? Your moon I don't actually know that. What would you think if you, you know what I mean? I don't, I can't. You'd just be like two characters. But isn't that your moon? Like your moon is what people see you as. Your rising is what people normally see you and your moon is your internal emotion. Do you know a lot?

Can I tell you, my moon and rising are Aquarius. That's cool. Oh my God, I see that. Yeah, so do I. I really do. No, you don't. I do, I do. I do actually.

I just don't really know much about it but I go on the vibe, it's like Aquarius. Aquarius, yes. Aerys. Well it's quite intense because they're all so close. Like to have the same one twice. Well I have Libra twice. Okay.

And then Pisces main. Pisces main, okay. Interesting. I would love to know what made you start your first, like do that first video or whatever. And that is quite an aquarius thing to do. So something Mia's happy to always say behind your back is that it's so cool of you to have started your channel

and done what you've done and whatever, blah, blah, blah. And like really an impressive thing for you to do, especially because I know how much Sophie and I lean on each other. For you to have done that on your own, I just think is now it's also being so young and being a young girl doing it on your own. It's just- It's crazy. My whole thing would be oh my god

I'm this has always been my fear that I'd be at school and people would get things up and put it on the whiteboard For sure. Yeah, it's like oh my god. We found your video. Look it's like oh my god. Can we kill me? Do a smokey eye tutorial. Like, oh my God, it's my nightmare. So did you ever have the fear of starting it at uni or was there a reason you waited post-school? Or did you actually don't know your first video? So I made like two videos in like 2016

when I was just after my GCSEs. Wow. And then posted them and then I was like, no, I can't. Like it's all too much. You posted them. I did post them. In a secret way. Wait Wait what? You posted them and then took them back? Took them back I don't think they're excited. Forget I said anything. I don't think I can even see them anymore Yeah, was it like a secret post? Like almost or did you tell your friends that we're starting? Like not a single person Yeah, that's what I would do for sure. And what was the desire?

Just like I love watching other people's like that's like I was raised on like YouTube. Yeah, and You know when you're watching you're like, but I have like my own take I could do on this morning routine And what did you think like because that's what I find really compelling is like I've got something to add Oh, I think it's really like a testament to you to be like I'm how old are you like 18 or something? yeah yeah 18. I'm 18 years old on my own in Edinburgh and you know what I've got something to say. it's actually so weird to look back on like I can't even really remember it. I actually don't know what I thought like I personally I don't know like I didn't have like a USP. You didn't have an agenda?

No there was no agenda. No we didn't need one at that point. It's just almost like the USP. You didn't have an agenda. No there was no agenda. No alternative. No. I didn't think it's just almost like the USP is I'm one of the girls. Yeah. I think like your personality goes a certain way like anything you can like share that's like slightly personal. Yeah. And then took down those videos because I was like school it's like it's not gonna work like yeah and then because I was going to uni I was like, hey fresh late. Nobody knows me like Capitalize on nobody. Yeah. Yeah, and it's like it's kind of awkward to be like hi. I'm a youtuber But you're not because no one knows no one watches the videos like it's all like You tube it's kind of like you're not no

You you so are but like obviously in your eyes, you're not exactly. I'm still never, I'm definitely not one now either. Just name a name. You are. Do you think of yourself as podcasters? Only hell. Yeah, yeah. Now I do. Only really recently. I think I actually make a point of being like,

so for example at parties and stuff, when someone would say like, oh what do you do? It was almost a bit of a joke with one of my friends. I would always be like, oh I like, I'd be like, I'm a waitress, I just kind of lie. I would always be like, oh, I like, I was, I'd be like, I'm a waitress. I was kind of lie. And she'd be like, no, no, she has a podcast. Like it's doing well.

Like, is this, and it would always be a thing of like, we were talking about this actually earlier, but why do I, I consistently understand myself. I basically am always like, I'm a waitress. It's nothing, it's nothing. I make something up because I don't want to have the conversation. But recently I've been trying to like,

Own it. Actually say I'm been trying to like, own it. Actually say I'm a podcaster and then they'll say, what's it about? And I'll try and say, it's with my friend, blah, blah, blah. But I hate that conversation. And it's so hard to not be like, oh, it's just like something really silly. It's just me and my friend being silly on a podcast.

Don't even look at me. It's like so hard to say. I say it's just us chatting shit, which is a horrific thing to say. It is actually. It's like well done, everyone's bored of you. Like well done, you just made some fun of the other. But I think it invites questions

if you're like I'm a podcaster. People are intrigued by that. So that's why it's kinda hard to say. Yeah, exactly. Because if you don't wanna talk about yourself, which is not ideal. Which I really, really don't. I'm a podcaster full time.

No, you really don't wanna talk about it. Literally, you may to be like I'm a podcast a full time Literally you may as well say I'm really interesting. Yeah Sounds like that it's almost like it gets one of the two responses always it was people either always say oh I wanted to have a podcast it was called this like me and my friend have a thing or they always say Can I come on as a guest? it will always be those two always can I come on as a guest that's what people say always I think that's like a joke I literally got it the other day yeah but it's like okay your joke was can I come on as a guest now my joke has to be you're a bit boring do you know what I mean like by default my only response is no

that is an outrageous thing to say are you Naina are you Miley Cyrus? no don't look like it then no it's really weird can I come on as a guest? I don't like that. That's kind of insinuating that you can turn up and just... Knock it out and you're there. That'll be the best episode you guys have ever had. But also once you've sold it as it's just us chatting shit. It's kind of free range.

Well why am I not invited? Okay so stop me if you want me to shut up. No no no. I'm just trying to think, was that going somewhere? Well, I was gonna say the stretch of. What was that about? That was about your beginning. Okay, yes. She's finding her feet in YouTube

and why am I doing this sort of thing? You've got a real format going. Well, I would love to know. I'm gonna just do it right. I would love to know on the other side, how your relationship to what you have been making has changed over the course of that time. And almost like, I don't know how comfortable

you're feeling talking about this, but like what your relationship is to it now. Stop me at any moment. So even when I was like a teenager on Instagram, I would always be like trying to take like a cool picture. Or like ask my brother, like can you take like 10 pictures or like a hundred pictures? Like I wanted it to be like something cool.

Even though I don't really know why. And that was kind of like my reputation at school. Not like in a good way or a bad way, just like you kind of love your Instagram sort of thing. So what's your Instagram like at the time? Maybe people are gonna watch this and be like no one cared about that. They're gonna scroll all the way back.

But I think I definitely put like a decent amount of effort for no apparent reason. Oh my god, that's so, so did you enjoy it? Was it like creatively? Yeah, just like the creative, like the vision, the like curation of like, these are things that I think are cool. Like I want it, it's kind of like your little like diary, like people, the way people view it is the way that you are.

Oh my god, I would love to know. I loved you. What? I just want to shake you and throw you around the room. I was going to do that with you. I need to just like squeeze this girl. Like it's just so cool. It's like a young girl. It's like you really you were compelled to give something and for why? Question mark.

What were you going say, Sophie? I was gonna say what were you consuming at the time? Were you a Zoella girl, all of this? What was the, because I feel like at that young age, there's got to be something driving you to see yourself in it. And I was gonna say what were you consuming? Like Zoella, but also the American,

I can't even remember all their names, but Mia, one of them, Mia. The one, Ciara Furtado. Okay. Really kind of them, the one, Sierra Furtado, like really kind of random, like not relatable to my life at all. I feel like just the American vibe is like, yeah, just like the really highly saturated, Marla Catherine,

these are like niche people. I know, I feel like some people will be like, no, I don't know, like, it's a very much like niche people. I feel like some people would be like, no, I don't know. No people, they were. It's a personal experience. Very much like American people. And if you like, do you remember Family Fizz? Oh my god, you're pulling out crazy names.

Not that I was inspired by them. This is like a little Brighton family. Oh my god, so cute, Family Fizz. Yeah. I don't know if it's still called, but they do still exist. That's so cute. I only know the problematic sort of family vloggers, only sort of like, what's called Shay? Well, are they all problematic? That's the question. Who are they?

Shay, go to jail. Like, you're horrific. Jail, do not pass, go. Do not. Like, 200 quid, like crazy. What is wrong with you? Like, oh my god. Okay, so you're consuming a lot at the time.

Yeah, and then in uni, it was just like something to do. I feel like in first year it was a bit like, I wasn't really friends with my flatmates, so it was like, this is something I can spend my time on. And you felt confident in it? Like if it came up in real life convoy. I still would never ever, even like my very best friends, I never sat them down and told them,

they had to find out for themselves. Jesus, no, that's not. That's disgusting. That's fucking crazy. I'm like, I didn't post on my Instagram like I posted YouTube video ever until like I had like 100k subscribers like I like I told my mom when I was like like two years ago like it was in years and she was like yeah I know. Like I just never sat anyone down. I mean like, I actually come out as a really successful YouTuber.

And everyone's like, we already knew. I just let people find it. Yeah. We've known for years. We can see that by a lot. Yeah. Oh no. I'm no such human.

Yeah, literally. We know. Oh, that's so interesting. Yeah, because I feel it was kind of embarrassing. Also, if you tell someone, then it's like, oh, so you want to talk about it now? Like, you want to have this? And it's like, well, no, I don't actually want

to have that conversation. So whatever, bring it up. It's just something I'm doing it's like, well no, I don't actually wanna have that conversation. So why not bring it up? It's just something I'm doing. It does say something about like, I feel like there's integrity to just doing it. Yeah, and not kind of having to answer for it. But it's a bit kind of reputation. There'll be no explanation.

Any reputation. Oh, there's no explanation. Yeah, there was no explanation. But it's also like, it's not confidence, it's a secret. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit, but we can reframe it now. No, I think it is reframing it. You're not looking for anyone else's opinion. it's not screaming and shouting it's just like i'm doing a thing you will find it when you find it. quite luxury.

you'll find it when it comes up on your home page i don't need to tell you about it. yeah. i get the thing of like the fear is okay everyone sees it. it's gonna laugh at me. i always get it for example like when there's like a group of people, once when I actually was a waitress, the chefs were like, oh, we're gonna play your podcast out loud whilst we're cleaning tonight, and I was like, don't you dare, I'll probably actually evaporate out of embarrassment.

So I feel like that's the fear of in a group setting, the video comes on. So I totally get it, it's self-preservation of like, you don't get to see that. Yeah, I totally get it. It's like self-preservation of like yeah, yeah, it's very like personal Yeah, I don't wish YouTube or listen to a podcast with other people. So why should people be consuming content like yeah I don't know obviously if I'm not there. It's fine. It's not ideal I don't want to think about it But like my cousin said something like the other month and it's like really stuck with me because I just feel like no one else

has put that word on it where he was like, because I was saying to Stephanie the other day, if people who we know or someone that has known me went to school, whatever, blah, blah, blah, but you're listening to the podcast because you're actually a consumer of the podcast now. You're not just listening to be like, what's that girl in a morality up to?

It's so different. But my cousin was like, sometimes I'll listen, just kind of hear your voice and see what you're chatting about, blah, blah, blah. But he's like, but sometimes I stop and I'm like, it's too voyeuristic. And I was like, that word is so perfect for it because it really is like, of course it's a public thing

that you're creating. And I think sometimes people like play into that a bit too much, almost like plead ignorance of like, well, you made it public, so I've watched it. And it's like, you know it's voyeuristic of you. Because I'm giving something that is, you're not my audience. You're some guy that I met once,

or you're this by person, but you know what I mean? My mum always, like a few times, has said she would never, feels like she's sneaking through my room, looking through my stuff. My mum's like, it's eavesdropping. Yeah, it is eavesdropping. It is kind of like reading your diary.

Yeah. It is a bit. Like some things it's like, it's so personal that I only want strangers to hear that. Exactly. So true. It's like I wouldn't necessarily tell like some random person from my like tutorial this thing. But it's like, but I know that you have put it out

for anyone to see and that's like, But you're talking to your audience, who is a specific person. And also I feel like some people think that if you say it on the podcast, you're kind of inviting like a dialogue. But I feel like I wouldn't say it to my friends because they'll answer back and they'll say, oh, tell me more about that. But I can say exactly the sentence I want to say. And let it go know, justification or anything

or like, I don't have to get into it, but yeah, if I was to say it to my friends, it opens up a whole thing. So it's like, no, I didn't want you to hear that. Yeah. You don't want to say something and then someone be like, oh, I heard you said this, like, I wanna know more. I wanna know about that.

I was like, no, no, that was the one bit I wanted to say. I know Leena has thoughts on this. Let me ask her about it. If I can't say it to her, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, that was the one bit. I know Lena has thoughts on this. Let me ask her about it. Yeah. If I have one say to it, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It's so outdated. I liked it for two months. Kind of not even that. Like I had to edit the pictures for the thumbnail heavily. It's so sweet. It's so funny looking back at it. It's weird that other people have a memory of that.

Of your bedroom. Yeah. First introduced. Because I can't really even remember it. I remember watching it. My first impression with you was just like sweetest, most beautiful angel on the planet Like I literally just thought whoa, what a beautiful girl with a stunning roomie and cutie Gonzales

I think my first impression of you guys was like emotionally intelligent Whoa Obviously I can see So true Ugly I didn't think you guys were great looking but Because I don't know if I followed you straight away. So I feel like it was just the voice.

And there was like maybe a month where it was like, which one is talking right now? Yeah, totally. I feel like that's... Now it's like, how can you not? Really? Like if I'm listening, there's no doubt, like one word that I know. You could even probably, I reckon as someone who's listened of your caliber, could probably tell from a transcript who's saying that.

Yeah, I think so. Like it is quite, just think voices. There are transcripts now on podcasts and ours are literally like, they don't read well. It's pathetic to hear us read back. It's just like, okay, Stan's, okay, cool. Stan, Stan, I'll help you. Shall we?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, let's. It's like, okay. Imagine reading that. Yeah, absolutely'll get a cue. Shall we? Yeah, yeah, let's. Okay. Imagine reading that. Yeah, absolutely dreadful. It's a headache. It's awful. And then it gets just like unbearably sincere.

For the most of it. Very quickly. And then you like really exposure. Yeah. It's like two-sidedness. I would love to know how your confidence has changed on social media because I feel like obviously there must have been so many points of it

that were really validating of like, yeah, I've put effort into my Instagram, for example, or like, I love this and I'm good at it and other people are connecting with that and telling me that they agree and I'm getting signposts that I'm on the right track, but also I'm sure there were challenges too. Yeah, I think in lockdown was when I first

really committed. Really? Twice a week, every week. Videos. Yeah, and I- Which is a lot. Yeah. The uni just let us pass.

Really? And my part-time job, I was also like, I can't remember what furloughed from. Yeah. So I didn't even, I was just like, this was it. Yeah. And I would just wake up and do this every day, seven days a week.

And that was like so much fun. Yeah. And I think that's when it was like really, obviously people were like consuming more. So it was like growing and growing. And that is like kind of like the heyday of it all. I think, yeah. And then I don't know.

I think now like presently, I would say I'm like really unconfident in it. In the space or in life generally, and I hope you're okay. You're all right. As in right now? I would say. On both?

It always is. Yeah, probably in life. But maybe coming out. I feel like my post-grad flop era has lasted two years, but I'm thinking it's almost done. It's like you're in a degree right now. But like, yeah. Don't worry, we're like four years in and we're still.

Yeah, really, does it not get better? No. Please don't tell me that. Of course it does, it does. Okay. I think it's like, I've like moved on now. From like the heartbreak of it being over, uni. Yes.

Like, I wouldn't go back now. It's like, it's done, it's in the past. It's passed. But it's still like figuring out like what now is. And like the vibe. Is it the vibe? Is it the vibe? Yeah, the vibe.

The vibe's also still being that you're in education. So it's almost like you're still getting echoes of that like uni life. And I think that has in a sense like falsely healed it. Yeah, because it's like it's so different. It alarms it. Yeah, but not for the vibe reason. It's kind of the throwback episode. It's like, oh, but I, it alarms it. But not for the right reason. It's kind of the throwback episode.

It's like, oh, but I'm having flashbacks kind of every day. Is that you're still kind of in it, but it's not the same. It's not the same. And especially because everybody around me is doing such different things now. It doesn't have the same. Not living with Niamh anymore, for example.

Who we love? Carine Niamh. That was a big, oh my God, guys, she will absolutely like. We love Niamh. Oh my God, totally. Niamh anymore for example. Who we love. Hi Niamh. That was a big oh my god guys she will absolutely like. We love Niamh. Oh my god totally. Niamh let's arrange like some drinks. Niamh come on down. No we stop.

There's a microphone here. Yeah there is number two. It's quite a three and four. Yeah. It's happy we're wearing a Niamh and Nano. Yeah perfect. Oh no stop. Oh no.

It's iconic. Sorry I'm a bit of a mess in this. No. It's all good. Spilling. Niamh and Nano. Yeah it's key. Do, I'm a bit of a mess in this. It's all good. Spilling. Niva Naina. Yeah, it's clean. Do you wanna hear a random story?

Yes. One time we introduced ourselves as, we're Niva Naina, in a group setting, and somebody was like to us, oh, you live together and you're called Niva Naina, people must mix you up all the time. And we were like, what the hell are you talking about?

Yeah, what different names, Niva Naina. And also we looked nothing alike. No, yeah. Kind of you talking about? Yeah, different names, Niva and Naina. And also we look nothing alike. No, yeah. Like, kind of, um... I know that's not that interesting, but that's what I was like, what are you on about? It's a bit, are you dumb? Yeah, it is, are you dumb?

Yeah, all the time they make us look up. It's just that N is the only similarity. Yeah, Niva and Naina. But they do have a nice ring. Yeah, it's good. It does sound... when you said it... Yeah, Niva and Naina. I feel like you might get a call tonight from Niva saying, yeah, do you think that's something in there Niamh? Do you want to hear another little funny story this involves us kind of in the similar vein you know that yeah

So my friend that when we're talking about earlier who is a Taylor Swift fan as well. She was at work and She was she's spoken about her friends. It Sefi and Wing, they do a podcast before. And she then was referring to a Halloween costume that we did where we dressed up as Ratatouille. And she was like, oh yeah, we went as Remy and Emil. And her friend from work was like, oh, is that those your friends that have the podcast? Remy and Emil.

Remy and Emil. Two little rats. The rats from Ratatouille. It's like, no, that's Sefi and Wing. But same energy. It's like same but different. Remy and Emil. Two little rats. From rat to rat. No, that's Sephi and Wing. But same energy. It's like same but different. Remy and Emil. Sephi and Wing is like. It's like so Remy, so Emil.

Yeah. I think that works. Yeah, of course. But I don't know why. Did we discuss that at the time? I don't know why it's Remy and Emil. It's also kind of Dan and Phil. Yeah, yeah.

I think who's who. We are an iconic duo. So iconic. We fit. Just about the same. Yeah, yeah. It's true. Thank you. I agree. Yeah, yeah.

It's true. Thank you. I agree. Yeah, yeah. It's really nice. Just to come clean, I've not seen that film. Really? I've only seen it a couple of times.

Oh, okay. Oh, I'm an expert. So lucky someone knows what they're talking about. I know what I'm talking about. I feel like it's a lot of people's favorite film, which is quite random. It's really good. Yeah, it is.

I'm not gonna lie, I was really impressed when I watched it for the first time. Really? It made me sob. It's an incredible film. It's moving. An Yeah, it is. I'm not gonna lie, I was really impressed when I watched it for the first time. Really? It made me sob. It's an incredible film. It's moving. An actual confession to you guys, which I know you're not gonna enjoy,

is that I'm not. You've never seen Harry Potter? No, I have seen Harry Potter, don't worry. Okay. Oh my God, that's gonna be good. I wonder when that'll be out. I don't really like the cinema. Oh my God! I'm learning, but like, that was like, that's being a part of my personality

for like quite a lot of years, is that like, oh, Naina doesn't go to the cinema. Not that anybody ever said that. Naina doesn for like quite a lot of years is that like, oh Naina doesn't go to the cinema. Not that anybody ever said that, but like I don't like the cinema. I know some people that feel like this. No, so do I, now I know one more. Please tell me more.

Okay, so for me, it's the fact that I want to relax, I want to be calm and I want to enjoy the film, but I am sat in somebody else's grossness. Okay, so it's a bit like you're on the tube watching a film. Yes, exactly. It's disgusting. I feel like I'm getting acne just being here.

Wow. And you probably are. And you probably are. That's part of the trial. There's something about that that's like, that's fine if I'm on the tube, or I'm not against dirty situations, but why would I choose to chill in that scenario?

So are you a fan of these new cinemas that are a bit more, you know, we have pizza coming out Yeah, like it's a velvety Almost the comedia in Brighton is a lovely experience They're still a bit filthy though, aren't they? The nature of a cinema is a bit grubby I think it's nice, it's not like nostalgic in the same way though And it's a bit like, oh I feel bad, of place

Then you also have spent a stupid amount on just seeing like one film. Do you ever feel, yeah it's so expensive, do you ever feel aware of yourself in the cinema? Like are you a bit like, I'm in the cinema now, I'm in the cinema now, or like almost, you know when you're out of the film, and it's like I should be watching the film, but I'm distracted.

I also hate the feeling when you leave the cinema, and you're like back in, like, I don't like that feeling. Wow. Oh my god. Like the escape is almost like uncomfortable in like, I don't like that feeling. Wow. Oh my God. Like the escape is almost like uncomfortable to me. It's hard coming back out. It's like a baptism.

It's like, oh, I'm emerging from the jug. Yeah, but you know when it's like, you think it's meant to be dark and it's really bright and then like the rest of the day, you're kind of off kilter with like, yeah, did that timing really exist? Has that gone into the abyss? Yeah, exactly.

I don't like that feeling. Yeah, okay. How do you feel about films in general then? Like, do you sit down and watch films or TV or? I'm, also I keep saying like I'm renowned, like anyone can. But like, I have also, like, I haven't seen most films. As in like, the classics, like, that come up,

I like, I don't know, I wasn't really shown, I don't know, I didn't really watch it as a kid. Yeah, yeah. Like, High School Musical, Lion King, like all the Disney King like all the Disney films like never seen any. Oh, those are some big kids I'm not in the film because I thought you were gonna say because I'm quite anti not anti classics But I think cuz I studied film. Yeah, there was a lot of potential Coming to the wrong door Always really empty my list just like This is coming to the wrong door, isn't it? No, but there's a wank in it surely. I was always really anti. No, my list is like High School Musical.

Yeah, my favourite film is one of Catching Fire, Hunger Games, Catching Fire. One of the best films ever made, like, literally a terrible film. Oh my god. But I could never say that in a film seminar, for example, because everyone's like, Oh, Casablanca, bullshit. These people are like, sure it's great, but who is actually watching that? Come off it. So I thought what you were going to say is like, yeah, I haven't seen the classics. It's like, yeah actually watching that? Come off it. Yeah, it's different. So I thought what you were gonna say is like, yeah, I haven't seen the classics.

It's like, yeah, who cares? High school musical, wow. That's crazy. So you don't know Troy Bolton? But it's like, but I know the law. And I know all the songs. You can get by. Like when it comes on and not that I'm going clubbing now.

You know Gemma Pellena for example, but it's like I'm not fluent. I was like, I don't know Bon Jo. I'm just like, is there a reference from high school musical because I'm not getting there. It's like I can. Yeah. I was like, is that a reference from high school because I'm not getting it. It's like, I can get by. It's like, where is the museum? Like, sort of like.

It's like I've existed in the West. The Boulangerie. Yeah, for example. Yeah. Okay, that really confused me. You don't know Bonjour is like, oh my God, I don't know Bonjour. I was like, no, I actually don't.

Like. Oh my God. But you know your Bonjour's, you can get by. Yeah, I can get by, but I have not. And I think now it's like- It's ingrained in who you are. Yeah, and do I bother now? It's not gonna have the nostalgia.

The value's kind of disappeared. Also, they're not hot anymore. It's like they're 12 years old now. When you need to look at that and be like, oh my God, Troy Bolton. You need to be 10 years old having a sexual awakening to Zac Efron. And be like, that's a man. That's a man. to Zac Efron. And be like, that's a man.

That's a man. And now you look back and be like, that's a child. Yeah. Like, it will be a crazy experience for you now. Like, you need the nostalgia. Yeah. It's kind of when I tried to get you to like Lord of the Rings.

I've tried so many times to like Lord of the Rings, which by the way, it takes, I've put in like hours and hours and hours of my life and it's just not hitting every time. And I don't think it will. And there's no reason. I don't think it will unless you have the nostalgia. I've come to terms with the fact that Lord of the Rings is not my bag. I didn't realise that was something you'd watch as a child.

I had a Lord of the Rings birthday party when I was six. That was my sixth birthday party. What? I thought it was kind of like X rated. Oh really? No, no. It's a bit violent. Okay. I think maybe I'm thinking of Game of Thrones. Yeah you are. I've also not seen that.

It's fantasy vibes. Okay, in the fantasy world. But Lord of the Rings is like, for me as a kid, it was just like four boys on a journey. You know where this place goes. And you're like, great, I see myself. Yeah, I'm so happy. Yes, I'm so happy.

Weirdly, yes. I was like, oh my God, like, I love it. She literally, I think legitimately thinks she's a hobbit. I think that might be my story. I kind of really do identify with those two. Yeah. With specifically, Marion Pippen. Yeah. Like, in the Wicked Witches.

Yeah. And I'm not gonna lie, as soon as I watched it, I was like, God, I hate Marion Pippen. And then Ewan said to me, Ewan said, Oh, there are these two characters that I love, love, love. And I remember coming back to him being like, Jesus Christ, tell me it's not Marion Pippen. I loved that. Is that one person? They're horrific. No, love. And I remember coming back to him being like, Jesus Christ, tell me it's not Marion Pippen. Is that one person? No, no, okay.

It's kind of a second wing. Nibba Naina. Oh my God. Yeah, it is. Jinks, by the way. Jinks. Yeah. Bubble spray, no padlock, no return, whatever.

But yeah. No, I would say have confidence in that. I also think, do you find as you get older, you feel more confident in like, I'm not sure what words in your mouth also think, do you find as you get older, you feel more confident in like, I'm not sure words in your mouth, but I almost feel like, you know, when you're younger, it's like, oh shit, I haven't seen a nice musical, whatever those sorts of things.

Feel a little bit more like they can teeter into insecurities or like I can't fit in in a certain way. And as you get older, you settle into it. Thoughts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's sort of like as I've been, like me and my brother will sometimes say like, what, where did everybody watch these films?

Like what happened? It's like a Patrick Star over a truck. It was almost like I wasn't aware of it or unconfident or like self-conscious of it as a child. You didn't think of it. And I just turned 18, it's like, you haven't watched a single children's, and I don't, I feel like if my mom had me say that,

she'd be like, yes you did, like you've seen loads of stuff. You probably didn't make an impact maybe. No. Yeah. Like I don't know, there was just, she had sort of a weird thing about American stuff. Yeah, I get it. It was like we're allowed to watch Harry Potter

taken to the cinema to watch that, that was highly encouraged. But the Disney Channel is not. Kind of Hollywood vibes is a no from your mind. Which is a good thing to protect kids from. But even when, I feel like sometimes people be like, oh Halloween is just so American, like, I just hate it. And it's like, why do you hate it?

Like it's not actually an issue. But it was kind of all thrown in there with that sort of, I don't know. Well, it keeps you quite grounded, I think. And even in the sense of like, in a symbolic sense, you coming out of the cinema and being like, oh, why is it so bright and what time is it? Sort of thing.

It's like you are, for a price these two, quite, and for area queries, grounded in your real world, and even in the sense of you're not answering your YouTube to anybody, it's like, no, because I'm focused on my thing, and I don't feel the need to, do you know what I mean? Be beyond that and explain to myself and justifying, and I can stay where I am, do you know what I mean? Really rooted in your own heart.

Yeah, I do get what you mean. Good. I am learning to like the cinema though. Cool. I'm like coming around to it. Maybe we should all go. Like, maybe, but I thought she just said she's renowned. Renowned.

No, nobody cares. It's like, I'm like not renowned for anything. That's my nightmare is taking you anywhere you don't wanna go. Or like, that's my nightmare in life is. If we're together, I'd love it. Oh, thanks. But that's the thing about the cinema, it doesn't matter who you're with because you're not talking to them. That's true

Yeah I also it really sticks with me one time you said about how like the toilets at the cinema like the airport and stuff I like a lot of space and I passed that off as my own thought all the time Good for you. Yeah, you should it's a scary place to be and that's what plays I think into it I don't believe it's just the vibe is just off. I often think I might be murdered in a cinema. And almost no one would ever, it's almost like the oblivion, people forget Erin ever existed.

Yes. Yeah, and everyone's listening to loud noises, they can't hear your scream. No. And it's dark. I had a nightmare when I was really, really young, and I think it's impacted, and probably why we were talking about that.

When I was so, so young, probably about about five and it was that I was getting attacked by a man in the toilets And it was kind of before I knew what like to be like sex was I didn't know what that concept was, but that was what was happening in the dream. It's like it's quite weird I dreamt in those toilets I had a dream that I was in the cinema toilets probably when I was like eight or nine and I was running away and They I was like trying to hold the door shut and they burst the cubicle door open and stabbed me right here in my side Yeah, my first thing I ever saw was the Polar Express

Like in the like panic of like the tears and everything, it was just me and my dad. The tears? Yes. Oh, I was crying. You know the bit when they're on top of the train? Yes. I was like, I can't remember when it came out.

Like I could find out. Years ago. I was like really young. And then like 2006 or something. My dad was like hurrying me out and it was like, no. And we left the popcorn under the sea. No. So when I got home, I didn't even have the popcorn. And that was the first experience.

Oh my god, well you had a terrible, because that was renowned. That film is actually so renowned for being. It's scary for kids. Because do you know how they did that? No, it's weird. So they filmed Tom Hanks talking and then animated over it. So it's a real case of like they were trying to make,

yeah it's like an uncanny thing of like, it is almost human and they basically were trying to invent a new type of animation, but they said like, this is freaking kids out. Like it's too in between. It's really in between. That's terrible. Particularly the kids on the train, I think, scare me. Cause they're not humans.

They're not humans, no. They look like you, they're moving like you. They're not animations, but they've got a coloured in face. Isn't the concept also a bit weird cause they're taking kids out of their beds at night This is definitely why I don't like it come to the right place Because that was the first time that I had the like leaving the cinema feeling and it's kind of like it's always felt like that That's a film. I will never watch again in my life as long as I

Literally hate that film so like it's I think I'd be just as scared now to watch it. It's a really scary film. So I'm actually not surprised that if that put you off everything. Me too. Films, Christmas, everything. Just you and your dad out of curiosity. Yeah, just the two of us.

It was like a, it was like quite aware that this is the first trip. And like my mom's at home with my brother. This is like our like special little thing. Oh no, I could cry. Oh no. Really sweet. And the popcorn got left. And like my mum's at home with my brother like this is like our like special little thing Really sweet Stress of it all and I was like kind of thinking when I get home I'm gonna get that at least I'll just eat that popcorn at home. I'm like I got like we didn't have it It's also just eat that but devastating that could also not be true. Do you know what?

You feel yeah Also like, that could also not be true. Do you know what I mean? But that's the way I've felt. It's how the film made you feel. Yeah, yeah. Deprived. Deprived. Don't invalidate your feelings, Naina. Also, there's a horrific bit in that film, I don't know if you got to it. I have finished it since.

Oh, God. I fixed my deal. Where the ticket, yeah, yeah. Where it's like, you need a ticket to get on the train. Oh, no, no. And it flies off and they're like, you don't have a ticket. Yeah. And it's like one of those things of being like oh god yeah i don't have a ticket like it's

so horrible yeah i used to find mr bean even a bit stressful i don't know if i've seen that in entirely like mr bean's holiday mr bean he would like park in the wrong spot and be like mr bean no you're gonna get in trouble the mannerisms are a bit spooky it's a bit like i'm lying you're not speaking yeah and i like, oh my God. And I was so, I don't know if I've said this on the pod, I probably have. For a long time, years and years and years, I thought Ice Age was a silent movie.

I know you did. Is it? I've not seen that. But it has volume. I must have been watching it on mute and thinking, God, like, what's wrong with my attention span? That little guy loves that. I remember being really frustrated.

He loves that love. I remember being really frustrated with myself, of like, why am I so stupid that I can't understand this film, like really annoyed with myself. But it was on mute. Or you just weren't listening to it. It must have been, I don't know. That would be crazy if I just wasn't listening. But why would it be on mute? But it must have been muted.

I don't know why it was just, I just thought silent movie. And I remember thinking that's quite crazy that a silent movie has got this big So I do think that Thing that loves that nut I've never seen it. No, no, no, not said oh Sid is another thing There's a thing. There's a little mouse thing that loves the nut Oh, and it's always chasing the nut and the nut is always wrong. Yeah. No's you? No, no, no. Those bits are silent, but yeah, I do see similarities. Not to bring it up. Filling in the blanks.

And you relate to that? Self-identity is so random. I always say Stitch, if you're familiar with Leela and Stitch. No, Leela and Stitch. No, that's okay. I've never seen you in that. You don't care. Just take a look and take her in.

But it's also like the Remy thing as well. I'm taking that in as well. She's a spunky little running around little thing. I don't really get it. I get told often. I think I'm building a little bit of a relationship with Leela. I'm building a little bit of a relationship with Leela. I'm building a little bit of a She's a spunky little running around little thing. I get told often, I think I'm building a picture from what other people tell me and yeah, I'm getting an image of... Spunky, peppy... Often like sort of rabid animals. What are people saying that's insinuating that? Have you ever

seen Over the Hedge? We're getting more and more niche. Am I not even heard of that? Am I not just seeing that? She's got no hope here. Over the Hedge. It's insulting. That's really not a good film. There's a character called Hammy who is really hee hee. And people say

you remind me of Hammy. I've had that a couple of times. And it's like Jesus Christ I must be so annoying. No, no, not annoying, just little, energetic. And there's a lot of energy, I think, from there. But it's weird, because I'm always tired. Yeah, you probably tire yourself out. Like a toddler. Sure, I think it's because you tire yourself out.

Yeah, I'm not surprised you hate the cinema if that was the best one. But I'm healing my relationship with it, I think. Good, that was working on it. Getting back to, because I appreciate it as an art form. Right, but you don't have to enjoy it. I don't have to, but it's quite a nice activity, isn't it?

Yeah, what would you say is your favourite film? Like, if you had to like, or like, what's something you like? Just so I can get a picture. Okay, have ever enjoyed. Two films that I would always say about time. Oh that's lovely. So stunning. And Lion. Lion, I never saw that. Dev, Dev, Devy. That film is heart wrenching. Both quite sad. Yeah about time is uplifting overall though. It is because there's that one beach scene. I guess they're both sad but uplifting. The beach though. Inspiring. The funeral.

Devastating. Yeah. Of course. Never recovered. But it's a funny film. Yeah. Good film, I like that. And you leave it thinking like, life is kind of clod.

Life is good. Yeah. I've had my whole life. Yeah. I'm inspired. I'm motivated. I'm moved. Lion is more heart wrenching.

But you still get that feeling at the end of like, okay, things worked out. Yeah. It doesn't quite fix the past, does it? No. Nothing does. No. Looking good. I'm enjoying this. Yeah, me too.

This is really nice. Sorry about the cinema, too much on the cinema. Oh, God, well, I feel like, I just feel like I've been wanting to get off my test. Oh my God, I could go and go and go on the cinema. Because you guys are so passionate. Yeah. And I'm just like, I just just like, I'm just so excited.