Goes Without Saying - nobody cares that you haven't shaved your legs.

Episode Date: July 27, 2024

THE SUMMER BONANZA BEGINS. podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on being perceived, social media comparison and online doppelgängers, ignoring other people's opinions, and slow walkers. ✷see more ✷ www.youtube.com/@sephyandwing ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwing ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwingshop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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I'm about to have a crazy BLT. Are you? Yeah. Okay. And then you're packing? Not right now, because I've been sat talking to you. And that would be crazy if I was like, here's one I made earlier.

Right now? And pulled it out, what? Yeah, no, but I can feel, I feel like you're gonna listen back and hear my stomach rumbling, so. So if you've got all the ingredients, would you just get them all? I do, well yesterday,

which was ages ago for Harry I got bagels etc. Yes. Yes Yeah, I'm just yeah, I know that I just yeah, I get into a phase with things Boy, look don't we all don't the best. Do you know what? It is hard because it's like I like this so much. Yeah,'t I want it every day it's a summer bonanza it's podmas it's like I like it let's keep it up see you tomorrow so yeah everyday bagel fine for the next two weeks I'll have a bagel every day and then I'll be sick and then I'll hate them just a classic hyper fixation they've got to happen but then they come back do, they work in cycles though these things. They do and it's so nice to see him again Mr. Baker. It is, yeah. I'm in a Marmite, like just like basically just Marmite phase. Oh interesting because we

had some interesting conversations about Marmite. We did, we did, a collaborate now. It was basically like I'd never met anyone who'd ever had Marmite really and then I came to Union literally everyone loved Marmite. Everyone and their mum was loving Marmite. Which I do feel like we were in a really weird house like misrepresented-tively said that wrong. Yeah. Yeah it was just disproportionate of the sample size. It's like there's five girls and four of them love Marmite and then there's me like what's going on? I feel like there was one that really specifically loved Marmite. Who? Okay yeah.

I would have said that as well, just checking. And then I feel like I'm the second Marmite fan in that house. I'm actually not too sure about the others' thoughts on it but I think they did like it. I'm not sure but it was just like- No they did like it. I can see how that would be jarring for someone that had never really encountered Marmite. In my second year as well, I would come into the kitchen, there's Marmite all over the kitchen counters, it's like, oh god, drill.

Oh no. Let me just check what that is. There is, take two, there is a man outside with some sort of sanding... Equipment. Machine. Brilliant. Something I've never seen before, so... I've never seen it before. I've never seen such a thing. I think it should

be alright. I'm looking at the audio levels and it doesn't look like there's nothing happening now so I'm hoping maybe it was just a quick job. He just had to quickly sound something off. He just suddenly got sudden compulsion to just sand something. I do find that funny when you sort of, I don't know, you see the people at work with their sort of machines. It's like, god what is this machine? Different remits, different worlds we're living in. But I see that sometimes people like buffing down their cars. It's like, sorry. Oh wow. I mean that's dedicated. At what point do you love your car so much that you buy one of these? I'm like pulling out like kind of like six month old packet of crisps from the back of the car. I'm not buffing my... well I don't think I've ever washed my car once. no not by hand. no not even in a fucking drive-through like I've never done it. no same to be honest. drive-through? what are they called? I don't know but I love them. I absolutely love them. I don't think I've ever been to one.

I just think it gets wet in the rain. It does get wet in the rain, yeah. Surely inherently with a car. It's washed all the time. I agree with you. But there's people, I see them out here with their equipment. I do, I definitely see them out there with equipment. I mean he's sanding like a door or something.

Like a loose door. What? It's literally Mike Groszowski. It's Sully putting it all together and it's Mike putting it all together again. His hands are gonna be blistered. Is Randall Stola Door? God I could watch that scene. I always think about that film. I think about that scene where all the doors are going round and Randall is chasing him. So good. That's so scary. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da work. honestly you're only as great as good as your last film. all of those like 15 years ago.

and what are here? 20 years ago. okay. what were we talking about before the drilling? we're talking about don't worry if you haven't shaved your legs. no one gives a shit about you. truly don't worry. yeah truly the least of your worries. and just generally the idea that we are so self-obsessed but also just can't help but be so focused on ourselves, the ideas about how we might be being perceived, how that impacts our behavior, how that impacts our thoughts, etc. our relationships, everything. we are. it's the thing the Jemima Kirk thing that you mentioned ages ago. which like I think you guys think about yourselves too much. it's like, we think about ourselves a quite scary amount. Yes, and I would argue more than any other generation

has ever thought about themselves before. But I would argue in a different way, at least. Well, I think we definitely must think about ourselves more than any other generation, in the way that there's now a pressure to self-curate, which there was never that pressure. I mean, that pressure has emerged in the last, I don't know, pretty much. Or even if there was a tabloidy way of it, or way back in the day, maybe the royalty wanted

to be seen in a specific way. That's not us, not the small folk. Not the small folk. The common people. Not everyone. Yeah, every Tom, Dick and Harry. I actually saw that book you were talking about the other day about the doppelganger, that everyone's living with a doppelganger locked inside their social media and which

is the real one sort of thing. Yeah, yeah. Did you talk about that on the podcast? No, I spoke about it to you in person. In person? Well sorry for breaching your trust. Breaching your confidence. It's just a book.

Maybe just take the reins on that. I believe it is by Naomi Klein. The book is called Doppelganger and she's taught, who I have always got confused with Naomi Wolf who wrote The Beauty Myth. And I think Naomi Klein, this is all from my mind I think she wrote like no logo I believe but they are kind of because they've got the same name you kind of get them confused and Naomi Klein I believe has written a book called Doppelganger about how I mean people are putting Naomi Wolf's words on Naomi

Klein it's like these are two writers that I mean I think Naomi Wolf has had some quite controversial statements you know she's not necessarily who you'd want to be confused with in lots of ways and it just looked like such an interesting book like just really fucking cool and what were your thoughts on it? I haven't I've never read it or literally just saw it. I didn't read it yeah I saw it in the shop and I was like why do I know this and I was like oh Sefi was talking about it. And I was thinking about how interesting it is, the concept, like to put the term doppelganger on it is just so great.

The idea that, yeah, we're all walking around with weird kind of tethered doppelgangers of ourself, these versions of ourselves. And I think everybody has a different perception of what is the real version of you. yeah. it's just an intriguing concept. totally. oh my god there's an episode, a podcast episode. i saw this on keelin's instagram. keelin moncrieff. queen. she put this and it was podcast, it's called magical overthinkers. Oh yeah I saw that. I'm only a few minutes in but the episode she put on was called overthinking about social media comparison. You know something we're always talking about.

I can't remember what it was. There was something in this podcast that I was like that's really clever. Like you're such a podcaster these days. I'm in it, I don't know why. I'm in an audiobook phase as well. Yeah, so what are you doing when you're listening to these things? Walking or going to sleep. Ah, okay. Like I'll listen to,

I won't necessarily listen to a podcast when I'm going to, so I walk my dog a lot and I'll go for a walk sort of into town, whatever. You know, there's not a lot to do in this town. Yeah. Other than trying to walk. Right, okay, yes. There isn't a lot going on. Yeah, yeah.

So I'll go for a walk and yeah, I'll listen to that and then when I'm going to sleep, I'll listen to an audio book. Yeah, nice. But that was giving you. There was something in it. Good insights. Oh, I wish I fucking knew it.

If you listen to that episode, you'll hear some amazing insights. I'm gonna listen to it. So now I've got homework, I need to listen to Adam Buxton's podcast and that episode. I mean I would prioritise this in the way I think you'll get more out of that than you will have Adam Buxton. I'm sure I will. He's just a king, he's just interesting. I've heard it all before. I can't tell you any more about him. I know, I know, yeah I know I will. Interesting conversations that's all I'll say about him. Yeah that. I know, I know. Yeah, I know I will, I will.

Interesting conversations, that's all I'll say about it. Yeah, yeah. And I'm here for it. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers' internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers.

Hey marketers, want a matchmaker to set you up with your perfect audience? Well, look no further. Get intimate right away with HostRed sponsorships with Acast. Use Acast's self-serve ad platform to search and partner up with a podcaster or two from our network of more than 100,000 shows.

Have them sing your praises in their own words and get their listeners ready to be wooed into loyal customers. It's the ultimate loving endorsement. Book host-read sponsorships with Acast. Head to go.acast.com slash closer to get started. I think it was, I think it's what they said that, I don't know if this was it, but this was a thing that they said that I thought like, yeah, it's so fucking true.

And it's not even groundbreaking. So they must've said it better in this thing. Yeah. They said, if you looked at my feed, if you look at sort of the Instagram feed, you would really have no clue about that person in any way, like what is actually going on in their life. And I was really thinking about it, I think it was maybe the first time that I really thought about it, in the way that we

try and present like kind of like, oh yeah, I'm potentially a bit more of like a vulnerable side sometimes, or like, or like you might see a thing, your bedroom or whatever. Really, if you, for example, took any old person's Instagram feed, you really know truly nothing about them. Like, it really sort of made me think about how vapid it is. Like, if you were to look at my Instagram page, oh wow, lovely pictures, so beautiful pictures.

You don't know shit about me from that. And I have no desire to communicate my insights on Instagram, I literally have no desire. But it was shocking to me to discover like- Shocking to me to discover is funny. It really was, it is so separate. Like I think we don't really often give enough credit to like how different that is to, not even like the aesthetics of your life, it's a highlight reel. It really was. It is so separate. I think we don't really often give enough credit to

how different that is to not even the aesthetics of your life, it's a highlight reel. Not even that, but you know nothing about this person's life from looking at these photos of them at the party they went to, at the festival they went to, there's a photo of their coffee. You know fuck all.'s like actually quite shocking it's kind of um GCSE history examine exhibit a yes analyze what's going on here it's like this is there's minimal context here you you're really you're reading a picture says a thousand words maybe maybe like there's really only so much you can draw kind of a picture on Instagram says three words. yeah. it says a brief sentence. hey! i'm here! that's kind of it. having a coffee. yeah. that's

kind of what it says. but it's the nature of the medium. like the format in itself is inherently brief first of all and it's only ever gonna be really even if there are like moments of kind of And it's only ever gonna be really, even if there are like moments of kind of, you spilt your tea or something, big deal. Even if it has these little whispers, yeah, big work of something that feels a bit more like, quote unquote, real-worldy. It is only ever mostly a curation of things that you like and yeah, your highlights of your life. It tells a really, really simple narrative of like, these are my best bits, these are the bits that I valued on that day.

This is my friend, this is my favourite dress, I've worn it a few times on here, sort of thing. Do you know what I mean? Like, of course it doesn't tell the full picture and I think that's hard for people in terms of like consuming other people's social media and also the ways that for example in that doppelganger thing,

the idea of how you, your understanding of yourself combining with what you present to people. So interesting. It is, it is interesting. And it's a whole new, literally unprecedented, yeah, medium that we've let loads of kids just run riot on, which is really scary. No, it is actually really scary.

That was maybe a bit, oh God. You know it's kind of like you look around at the Earth, it's like what have we done with this place? Thisforsaken. We said it was that was the decision We made was like let's put loads of 13 year olds on Into this hole on an unregulated Terrain full of Yeah comparison and also like predators. You, literally, let's not forget, like literally pedophiles.

It's really dangerous, anyway. It's really horrific. I think as well, like a crux always is no one is gonna be thinking about you as much as you are. You win. Which is really comforting. I also, I know, maybe this is naive of me, but I know in my mind I

Often if I'm walking down the street the only things I ever really think about people I Encounter for example, I was in common garden last night and the thing I was thinking was Dracarys get these people out of my way Literally behind the slowest walkers ever like out of my way part of town'm in the wrong part of town. like suddenly i am literally walking zero miles an hour. i'm basically going backwards. it was- i messaged you saying people have really got their trudge on. it's like what is going on with this trudge? i was actually shocked by it like yeah that was- it was so slow. but it's their godforsaken right to explore Covent Garden at a slow pace. It is, but I find I do struggle. I'm so sorry. I take it as that's my own fault for being... I'm in Nocturnally. It's a place I shouldn't be right now. Exactly, we shouldn't have been in Covent Garden at kind of rush hour, but still it is frustrating. I must say.

It was. It was really frustrating. But beyond that, generally, and maybe this is silly of me, but I know in my mind the only things I ever really think about strangers is like, oh. Love that outfit. I really like those shoes. Yeah, or like. I stopped a girl yesterday in Covent Garden to say I love your dress, where's it from?

Yes, you did. I also had a bit of a moment yesterday where I thought it was a bit of a meet-cute. I was walking, this is when I was voice-noting you, but I wasn't voice-noting you at the time, must have been waiting for your response. Of course. Is it the limbo between sending my last note?

Between voice notes. Yeah, I was walking into the shop and there was a girl who had just walked out of it and she kind of had like 20 things in her hands, classic. And as she was walking, she dropped one. She dropped a pack of sausages actually. Oh God. And I could see it on her face that she was like,

oh shit, how am I gonna bend down? It was kind of, it was sunny, she was in a dress and it was like, oh God, and you're holding all these things. And I kind of walked over night in shining armor and I was like, oh, here you go. And like picked up her sausages, gave it to her really normal. And she kind of looked like she was gonna cry sort of thing.

And she was like, thank you so much. And I was like, you're fine, like of course sort of thing. And I really had the thing of like, what an honour it is to just be a girl in this world totally other girls in this world generally maybe this is foolish of me too trusting or like naive to the realities of certain people or life whatever I go through life generally I generally give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't really think, I'm definitely not moving through the world looking harshly

on other people. And I want to operate with that same awareness of therefore that must mean people are generally meeting me the same way. They're generally, just generally maybe thinking pleasant things about all of us and I maybe that is not true and it would be nice to be blissfully ignorant but even if it's not like okay we're operating with like the benefit of the doubt I do think I hope that generally most people are not actually that interested and I do think that's true. Well I think the reason they're not thinking positive things is because they're just not thinking at all.

Anything. Like the amount of people. Not like overwhelmingly positive, but you get what I mean. No, just like neutral positive I think is true. Neutral and then something catches your eye and it's positive. Yeah, totally, I think that's true.

Imagine walking down the street people are walking past and you couldn't even tell really it's like maybe one person in 20 stands out like in a busy area in a built-up area these people are like there's almost I always think it's like there's so many people there's nobody almost it's like it might as well be empty because none of this is standing out because it's just so busy. Yeah, yeah. Really, and even if you do have a thought about someone you walk past, it's like, yeah, you kind of forgot it two seconds later.

As soon as they're out of your eyesight, you're onto the next. Like, it's just, you're not thinking about these people. And even if you did think it, doesn't mean anything, does it? So there we go, back to square one. You know the classic thing? If a tree falls down in a forest.

This is quite you, isn't it this time? I think it's so much. It's like, okay, so. I'm none the wiser. Doesn't matter. You walked past me and you thought, hate her hair. Okay. You're wrong, I'll tell you that,

but it doesn't matter. You walked past me and you think, I hate her hair. And I never know. So the thought to me may as well have never happened it doesn't mean it doesn't affect anything it has literally no like butterfly effect it doesn't matter and you only do yourself a disservice by assuming that people are thinking of you I hate her hair first of all nobody said that if they did it wouldn't matter if you're thinking, you might be insecure about your own hair at this moment. Yeah, I think it's a me issue

sort of thing. Yeah, and that's fine. Yeah. It's actually normal, encourage all of the stuff. I think the- at least my crux is like, oh god this guy, listen, can you hear that? He's still sanding. The sandman. He's just picked it back up again. What's he done that for? Should I go out there and be like, it's perfect how it is? It looks great. It looks great. That's job done, I think. Rustic, doesn't need to be sad.

Yeah, that's perfect now. Definitely don't touch it anymore. You've got it right at the best point. Okay, he's taking a break. Yeah, I was just gonna say that I think if you operate, you're coming from a place of like, I shouldn't be here sort of thing, like kind of looking over a place of like, I shouldn't be here sort of thing, like kind of looking over your shoulder like,

maybe I shouldn't be here sort of thing. You are literally, as a human being, just as deserving as all the other human beings to be on this planet always. That is hard to remember when you're in those anxious moments because it is like, you'll be walking down the street. I had it a bit on the tube yesterday

just because I hadn't almost been in public in a while. I was on the tube and I was like, oh, everyone's looking at me weird, like, ah! And it's like, okay, really, I know nobody's looking at me weird. I know literally no one, everyone's just getting off, everyone's coming home from work, to be honest. And everyone's like, I had a long day.

Like, the last thing they're thinking about is me. But in my head, it's like, oh God, like I'm tripping over things and like, ah, like God But in my head it's like oh god I'm tripping over things and like ehhh god crazy. But it's like no okay you just feel really anxious. And the second I sort of like acknowledged that it was like yeah and we can deal with this we've been here before. It's like you just feel slightly anxious and that's okay. Yeah it is okay. It is okay. And you're valid. You're allowed to be here. You're allowed to be here and fuck up

everyone else is i'll tell you that everyone else is all right cool aww summer summer summer i can't wait till we sing the full version of that i know i'm actually should we like take some different parts you know yeah yeah we'll do like maybe we should film it why do you have to go? Yeah. Oh, that would be good. Her dress in that. I want you to stay, I gotta go my own way. You know?

What about us? Oh, I could keep going. What about them? Honestly, they're everything we've been through. What about trust? So good. You know, I never wanted to start with you. What about me?

God, it just lends itself to keep going. What am I supposed to do? I gotta leave but I support you. What about me? It lends itself to keep going. I've got to leave but I'll miss you. Right, okay, let's actually go. I could honestly do the whole thing. Right, summer, summer. Summer, summer, summer. Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night.

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