Goes Without Saying - off the record: affirmations, food, & orgasms

Episode Date: February 15, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on affirmations for anxiety, our university experiences, current coffee orders, tracking our period cycles, food obsessions, orgasms, and Goes Without Saying™. ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. In the early 1980s, gay men started to get sick from AIDS. Here's a show that we recommend. And in the new season of my podcast, Resurrection, I tell the stories of heroes of the early AIDS movement.

Like the story of a cabaret singer and a sex worker who invented safe sex and saved millions and millions and millions of lives. Go check out Resurrection wherever you listen to podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com We don't do intros for these, do we? Oh no, we don't. So welcome to Off The Record. So I guess, hey, yeah, here we go.

This is nice. I think this is going to be light, fresh. That would be nice. Yeah, that's what we're aiming for. Always, always what we're aiming for. But God knows where we end up. We just have done quite a sort of heavy one it wasn't even heavy actually but like kind of quite deep felt like a big topic it did i feel like i'm in that kind of soft mindset yeah um yeah so which i do think okay just a quick reflection i think this mostly goes without saying but i think the start of the podcast for us as in like years ago when we started recording episodes it was very much like brazen

ballsy unapologetic like oh i'll just say whatever no one's fucking listening like whatever i think also we had some sort of like just like a kind of recklessness of our like early 20s or whatever like when no one's listening it's easy to say crazy shit oh you can say any old yeah exactly like who cares like yeah no one's gonna hear it and i do think obviously as time goes on we do become i don't want to say timid in a way because i know you'll hate that but there's a level of restraint that i think is important because i think it's necessary actually to like not um fuck up a platform and not um take things for granted and like do you know i mean deny the responsibility of like being able to speak to people but i do

think it's important for us as well to keep that um almost like authority in our own opinions and thoughts and it's our podcast yeah no we're not saying anything mental i don't think this is pretty vanilla stuff oh my god it's so vanilla it should go without saying it's kind of the point it's the whole point and i was actually saying at cambridge that we started this when we called it goes without saying it was very much like coming from an insecure place of like if anyone were to call us out for something it's like why didn't you mention blah blah it's like it goes because it goes without saying it goes without saying on the defense sorry to disappoint it's a really weird thing to do actually um it's literally called goes

without saying it's like goes down and no one came for you capitals goes out saying uh um i would also like to say just quickly before we get in thank you so much i know we've been going on about the match but it's just a really nice is this going out on valentine's day maybe stop day before actually i think oh god look at us so wrong i actually don't know if it is because i'm coming back from amsterdam on the 14th on valentine's day so it's the day after okay that's annoying okay well i hope you had a lovely day you're the crux mine just arrived no way it arrived it's so stunning i got the um you're my crux cherub sort of design which has me and wing on so cute um which i've been seeing a lot of people wearing they've been yeah it's been really

nice yeah i'm just very grateful and i love it about that yeah okay good well do you want to kick us off yeah whatever you want oh this one's quite interesting someone said can you do an app of you guys saying affirmations that we could listen to daily i was gonna say this to you i do love that yeah same but i think maybe we should make it a monthly thing oh okay but like i think i think we should do that i don't know if it's an app but i would love to do oh my god you know what we need to do on the cards on the cards we do need to do that yeah let's do that at some point i would love to do that on video on the card that works better yeah um but we could do some affirmations i love i love that i'm all in for like a meditation so we also have always discussed like having some kind of app where it's sort of meditations and

like affirmations and stuff by us but also we're we're towing a very fine line between like just doing the episodes as we do them and constantly fighting the desire to essentially give out our fucking personal phone numbers and be like just ring us when you need something yeah like if you're having an issue just text yeah anything comes up we're there yeah we've got our number you know where to find us like the the restraint that i have to have to like not start being a freak and like popping up all the time being like are you guys okay like is everyone all right um i would love for us to figure out a way where we can like have some sort of ongoing offering that you can just pick up when you need

it which is what i kind of think episodes are like if i'm feeling overwhelmed i'll click on the one that says overwhelmed and something like i feel like they each have a tone which i think hopefully is what you need when you click on it but i would love to have like say an sos button and it's that's like guys exactly and we have we're here we've literally discussed that i remember when we were in amsterdam last year we were walking along the canals and saying so we're coming up with all of these scenarios that you could be in which was weird yeah um yeah it's like feeling anxious you click on it and it's just like right two deep breaths guys stop stop feeling anxious yeah oh god i would love that i would love that too okay well any affirmations that you're needing at the moment that you wouldn't mind sharing um i remember one

hitting me this was a few years ago that this was really hitting me but it always hits me um but i feel like when you're in a in a certain mindset or in a certain like time in your life this is what you need to hear you are exactly where you need to be i knew you were gonna say that i just think that's so like oh okay okay cool take your word for it then shall i relax yeah i'm exactly where i need to be you can relax and that hits at certain points when it's like if you're feeling a lot of doubt questioning your decisions it's like you're exactly where you need to be you know what one i like to do or one that i kept kind of it was something that i kept saying to myself all the time and i'm sure i've said it on episodes

too but almost like this is quite also someone said um what to do when you wake up with really bad anxiety and i think this is a nice thing to remember in the morning or just whenever i would always think to myself i come to this day with nothing to prove nothing to prove and suddenly it's like oh fucking hell i'm a coley colkin i'll kick back and relax yes because also like we it's so weird that the natural state that you wake up in is proving i've got a lot to prove it's like sorry knackering honestly isn't it true though it's like i wake up naturally like okay immediately behind who is this for you're not in a film you don't have an

audience now no doesn't judge what are you trying to prove i come to this day with nothing to prove hamilton has nothing to prove something got nothing to lose oh that's just i can't remember the lyrics something like that from hamilton yeah i like those ones also says a lot about us i think yeah it does just like stress is it yeah it's other things that you need to hear it's like oh do you know one that is actually i think quite nice and it comes up a lot i don't know what this thing is but a lot of the things that i've meditations and stuff i've been gravitating towards at the moment have been like self-compassion, sort of like kindness. And a lot of them, I really hate this as a term.

It is exactly what it is, but I just, it has such a like new age. It's like a loving kindness meditation. Oh, yes. I don't necessarily love loving kindness. But it is what it is. And it's loving kindness meditation and a lot of those are the phrase is like may i be happy like may i be happy and it's like oh god i didn't even know that i was wishing misery on myself like yeah happiness in my day-to-day was so low down really it's like may i be happy it's

like oh my god i kind of wish happiness for other people it's like oh god i hope they're happy i hope they're happy but it's like having the intent not even like okay so if i go for that walk then i'll be happy if i eat this yummy thing then i'll be happy if i go see my friend then i'll be happy it's like no just may i be happy it's like just a general well wish to yourself so powerful lovely thank you for sharing that I like that so much god I'm feeling a bit um existential that we're doing this are you sometimes it hits doesn't it it does hit sometimes yeah it hit but I hate it when it hits in the midst of it like that's when I get the giggles on stage with you when I'm like oh god but that's my favorite thing in the world i hate it because i get so scared i love it okay this is lovely it's lovely i've really got my like really delightful smelling

candle on as well oh no it's just like i'm in quite a zen environment right now what's your coffee order at the moment I'm in quite a zen environment right now. What's your coffee order at the moment? That's kind of cooling. A little bit light, but loving it. No, I love that. Yeah, go on, you go first. I know yours.

I'm so sophisticated. I'm kind of French at the moment. You are. I'm so actually cool at the moment. I get a black Americana's the shorter hair yeah black americana yeah picture me right now i've got a black bob picture me picture this picture this i've got a black little chic bob um and i'm drinking a black coffee every morning but i'm not actually because i'm getting headaches a little bit at the moment but when i'm drinking coffee, I get a black Americano. It's like,

oh my God, I'm Coco Chanel. I don't know her coffee order, but that's how I feel. How are your headaches? Are you back on coffee now or no? No. Yeah. So I had a coffee today and it didn't do anything.

I think it was when I was, so I think I get headaches because wing has got me tracking my period. She's been tracking behind the scenes for many years for many moons now I keep an eye on you I like to keep tabs on your ongoing yeah you do my inside you're ins and outs but I've now been keeping track and I think I've never really thought of myself as like a headache person but as I've been tracking sort of symptoms and stuff I think i get headaches around my period and when i'm ovulating isn't it so empowering i think to have a real awareness of your cycle it's weird to be like if that's something you deal with like if you have a period i think it's

i think the sooner for me personally the sooner i can get down a rhythm of like knowing what to expect knowing when to expect it jesus christ what to expect when you're expecting but it gives me huge anxiety like when people say i don't know when my period's coming i'm like but here you are walking among us that was my life for 27 26 years i thought no no no not 26 no no no no oh you're 36 i don't know how much it was i think i was 10 i don't know yeah weird right really it's just so empowering yeah i love it so much i'm dying to know um i'll take any old thing to be honest i have just like a latte at home or a cappuccino yeah sometimes if i'm doing a cappuccino then definitely you have to that's saying

otherwise not so strange um i don't know i am kind of in a phase of just like taking whatever you know what i'm really into actually? When I'm really thirsty and caveat, I have to be really thirsty. Otherwise, like I'll get a hot coffee normally, but you know when you just need a cold drink. I sometimes get a coffee and a water. I'm like, can I just get a tap water and I just down that at the counter.

That's necessary. Glug, glug, glug. But sometimes what I'll normally do, like my normal thing is I'll probably have like two coffees a day oh god and in there as well i will probably get an ice matcher i'm really into a quite a matcher at the moment a lot yeah i know but i need actually the match like i probably have yeah probably about seven teas a day but the coffee's just yeah intense intense intense coffee there's

no intensity to me now. Love. I wake up, the first thing I do is make myself a coffee. Well, that's what I was in, but then I started getting so down about these headaches because I've just started to like the taste of coffee. I'm in my Black Americano gal life. And then I was like, oh my God,

I'm not supposed to be shooting live. Oh yeah, that's so true because you didn't like the taste of coffee for ages. For years, but then I realised I just don't like the taste of milk. I love the taste of milk i love the taste of coffee i just find milk i can't stomach it in the morning i like it in a hot chocolate i don't i don't like sort of milky coffee honestly black americano has changed my life now it's i love an americano when the time is right yeah there's a time and a place i think there is that's the thing with my coffee order it's very libra but there's a time and a place i think there is that's the thing with my coffee

order it's very libra but there's a time and a place i'm not into like one thing at the moment there is i am also into when i'm working at the cafe i god i get so hungry because i'm around all this like really delicious food all day like i'm in the kitchen people are cooking cooking cooking delicious food now and i even though i have a big breakfast every morning i was like oh my god i'm so hungry by about 11 i'm like get me anything and i make myself a mocha because i need the caffeine as well and i do you're supposed to do like one spoon of hot chocolate one shot of coffee i do like three shots three spoons like it's really thick mocha so it's basically a hot chocolate Wendy's Small Frosty

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I'm eating and drinking throughout the day, always. Yeah, nice okay you've seen my lunches god they're delightful i have i i've seen i've seen everything i've seen the cakes too everything's good you know everything's it's like kind of munching along you know what is kind of my go-to snack at the moment or a little sweet something i'm having like an ice cream like vanilla ice cream and then crumbling into it like chocolate kind of like cookies and like biscuits and stuff oh my god yeah really good kind of a mcflurry i guess like a malteser mcflurry i started putting bourbon biscuits in porridge oh like making a porridge peanut butter jam picture is like a delicious that's nice sort of thing concoction and then like seeing what kind of biscuits i've

got in the cupboard and kind of snapping them up and putting them at like a couple in there so do they stay crunchy or do they melt kind of put them on the top like if they've got sort of a creamy filling like a bourbon inside that will start melting a little oh my god yeah i like that yum i used to remember at uni i would have the same porridge every single day yeah your porridge looked good actually that was great yeah and i still have to i still do it now dates yeah i'll do a raspberry situation bananas cacao nibs chia seeds honey chia seeds really i like just a little do you you're such a seed person i'm literally like i'm mostly seeds and nuts like that is kind of how could you not like a chia seed it's like the only seed i'll have honestly really yeah chia seeds and sesame

seeds i don't know what other seeds i would pop it no way pumpkin seeds sunflower seeds don't be ridiculous that's me i i'm um pumpkin seeds those my favorite seeds aren't they quite big i don't want to be chomping down on a seed oh my god they're delightful oh sunflower seeds oh my god that's isn't it that no no you're thinking of nuts you're thinking oh i don't like i don't like seeds i actually said to my friend i was like i've come up with such cute names for imaginary like twin girls like imagine twin girls they're called robin and ren like w-r-e-n robin and ren so cute and then my friend was like no because they sound it's just a bit too birdy and knowing your kids they're like load of seeds and it's like yeah nuts and

seeds two little vegetarian seed loving girls so wait what's the issue with chia seeds and they're so tiny all they do is just give a little bit of crunch you know what i've only ever had chia seeds when it's like in a pudding you know when it's like they cheer pudding well that's a different story born city that's a different freaking story when like wow you would read like a sort of that's kind of do you know who it was naomi smart remember her back in the day whoa she would have a chia seed pudding it's kind of your own pret and there's nothing left i couldn't be eating that i mean i could but i would rather have but so what you're having them just on you're not doing that weird expansion thing no no no no i'm just adding them on top so you know like you would add like a sesame seed like

on top of like noodles hell yeah it's just like that sort of vibe but for the porridge i'll try that because i have some in the cupboard but i haven't used them because i tried that yeah you'll like them i also really like them so toast i'm at the moment treating myself to a sourdough toast yum lathering it up with peanut butter me this morning slicing banana all over it then i'm going the extra mile drizzling honey over the top a little bit of cinnamon and then the chia seeds on top no jam no no jam that's a separate issue we'll hold the jam for another day yeah yeah do you know what i mean like this is if you've got banana peanut butter banana classic i mean it's insulting you would even but i love peanut butter and jam like

when i discovered that my life changed forever inventor of inventor of pb and j i've heard i thought it was like a joke like kind of you know like um i don't know like a joke food sort of thing how old were you when you first had it stop how old were you when you first had it honestly like 15 that's crazy yeah that's crazy sephie i know i didn't think it was a thing i thought it was like in american cartoons i have a pb and j i love oh my god everything i love you know what is my favorite i love i love love love love love fig jam and plum jam oh my god sounds incredible my dad's mom made the best plum jam and i must have been like eight years old and she would always use a spoon to like

spread it over the bread and stuff oh my god so it kind of go oh my god that's perfect it's that kind of thing it's like this jam company that i'm obsessed about go on jam heavy episode who knew there's a jam company this was actually the other day you were we were on facetime and you were like making a reel like you were like working hard and you're like what are you doing i was like just looking on etsy at some jam well i was shocked that they sell jam on etsy i didn't know that you could get i didn't know either until that moment but an amazing company i'm gonna shout it out i don't honestly if you're i think never had anything from something i have no idea why they ship um but you should go and look it's called hot maybe you're local hot jam and jam

is spelled in this way j-a-m-n like hot damn as follows hot jam so cool great name god the girl that makes them go on the instagram look at the girl's instagram as well she does like cookie pop-ups where she like goes and sells these cookies that have the jam in oh my god and they're like miso and oh my goodness me i'm getting hungry same i bought these bakewell tart cookies i'm in a real cookie phase at the moment that sounds good yeah they're from m&s i just walked past them and i was like are you kidding me bakewell tart cookies and i'm gonna have one in a minute oh you haven't tried them no i have i had three today and they're good yeah they're really good okay stunning yeah do we also speak of cookies we met a lovely girl that worked in a cookie shop

we were buying cookies we just made me feel so anxious we were no this made me feel so anxious because i felt like i'd come off badly or something. What the hell? No. Do you remember when we left? I was like, oh, no. Yeah, no, but it wasn't that. Like, that's so silly. We'd just been in the studio thing in Acast recording. Yeah, having the time of our lives. And we were on our way back and we walked past this cookie shop.

And we were like, oh, my God, let's get some cookies. They're really good. And just the embarrassment of how intensely we were discussing the cookies. And then when we played, the lovely girl was like oh my god i love your podcast and it's like oh god we were like the strawberries and cream one looks quite good but i also like the look of the double chocolate we were really in character as well we were really being second wing in that moment like it was really yeah we were taking it very serious we're really holding her up good cookie though really good cookie i had only had them once before

and i had really had like a whole box to myself so good but that one really hit very nice should we say where they're from it's called after school cookie club i think what are they called i think it's after school cookie after school i was trying to remember that let me actually just check i ate it on the train and i could tell the girl sitting next to me was really jealous i had a really funny thing happen to me on the train it's actually not funny at all but it made me laugh i was on the train back and unfortunately a guy came and sat next to me oh that is unfortunate so really unfortunate and i thought he'll be gone in a sec just don't think about it he'll be gone in a sec just close your eyes just fucking zone out of your body for a sec just disassociate quickly yeah he'll be gone by the time you come back

i thought he's probably gonna get off at east corydon no he's probably gonna get off at gatwick no oh god he's hanging on that's what i thought i thought surely you're not going to brighton you're not giving a brighton vibe anyway what's that you're giving of a hayward heath vibe yeah no he was he was i guess we got off hayward heath okay but cut to cut to gatwick lots of people east cordon everybody clears out gatwick everybody's gone it's just there's just a few of us so he stood up from the seat next from from my from my my quarters are you on a fourth no i was just on a two just minding my business so he's direct we're literally next we're leg to leg yeah yeah your thighs not ideal yeah our thighs are touching is oh it's horrible about believe me yeah we everybody starts clearing out so he

stands up and moves behind me so now we've both got i've got like a two seat to ourselves yeah but now you don't have a visual on him so don't sit behind me no but i could see him in the reflection oh perfect so you have got eyes on in the reflection i've got eyes i've got eyes on the window i could see him in the reflection of the window yeah and he was yeah literally man at six o'clock woman gets on sits directly next to him you stood up yeah exactly and you stood up to escape me and now i've got my my two seat back yeah and now there's a woman sat next to you and you got your comeuppance comeuppance honestly for sitting next to me honestly come up but you know it's just like

you didn't have to do that yeah and you know the legs are all over you and it's like just give me a minute it all depends on the there were other places why is weird of the woman to sit next to him if there's other seats well so then later on at all if there's even one other thing of two and you go sit next to someone that's really weird well it was the you know that thing the priority seating so then they later had a discussion which i overheard because i had my headphones in but i had turned the music off so i can't be vigilant to the situation and she said i need to move because i need to get off i think she was on crutches or something so she was kind of getting in the first seat available to her which happened to be next to him anyway um that was all just wanted to share that i've just seen

my phone's on one percent as well so well should we get out of it i think let's do one more one more i would like to just tie this off because i've just seen what did you guys study at uni and where it goes without saying we did well i did anthropology and history at the university of sussex and what about you stephanie deacon i did english literature and film at the university of sussex no way gorgeous were you there at the same time as me yeah a few times i think we even started the podcast there we did in third year in third year i'm gonna sneeze very halls in that very library bless you no it's gone it's gone i thought there's another oh oh i hate that feeling when it receives it's like it's like it's there so you're not ready for me

and it receives it's so good i saw sorry that reminded me oh no don't worry go on go on it's a whole different ball game oh but let's go in let's i could play some games it was killing me it was really making me laugh you know like when a tiktok is good but the comments are so much better yeah and it i don't even remember what the tiktok was to be the comments are so much better yeah and i don't even remember what the tiktok was to be honest like i have no idea but it was essentially about this girl saying about like for what i don't know what it was like i don't know if she was seeing a certain guy or it was just generally speaking that when she was having sex with someone she couldn't come and all of the comments were like he'll say like are you close and it's like i am shut the fuck up

i'm concentrating and it's like i'm trying to i'm trying to fucking concentrate it was just making me laugh so much i'm thinking about something it's like that energy is so fucking funny to me and that's the similar vibe of your sneeze receding of like oh i was but then you disturbed me i'm trying to fucking concentrate anyway love it just tickled me okay i need to get back on tiktok i need to have a little look around what's going on over there like i haven't been on there in years i need to have a look what's you doing yeah that those comments are just really making me laugh like shut the fuck up i'm trying to concentrate and it's like all these young women it's like that's hilarious and he's saying god bless him he thinks he's having a great time he's like yeah are you close you're gonna come and she's like

shut the fuck up you're putting me off yeah would you mind leaving zip it you like have you thought about shutting the fuck up for a second like i'm trying to fucking concentrate concentrate is just so funny but that is it no that is my experience i know agreed it's so funny like yeah i don't know it's just a funny funny old thing i could talk about it all day right okay cool i won't bye well if you don't was. It seemed the worst. Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. We'll see you next time.