Goes Without Saying - self-image & self-obsession: brainrot prevention squad

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on the reality of influencer culture, being perceived, self-image, mental health narratives, nepo babies, beauty standards, representation, comparison, and the creation and consumption cycle. ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. In the early 1980s, gay men started to get sick from AIDS. Years before ACT UP, before HIV was discovered, before the history you know, there were people on the front lines of the fight against AIDS. Joe Sonnabit. Michael Callen. Bobby Campbell.

I'm Dane Stewart, and in the new season of my podcast, Resurrection, I tell the stories of heroes of the early AIDS movement. Like the story of a cabaret singer and a sex worker who invented safe sex and saved millions and millions and millions of lives. Go check out Resurrection

wherever you listen to podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Hey guys, I'm just popping in to say that we have a very special limited edition Valentine's merch. So you might want to buy it for a special someone you might want to buy it for your friend the special someone could be you you might want to buy it for yourself there's one that says you're my crux i believe it says iconic phrase i love that one that one the it's got me and wing on if you look close at the cherubs the cherubs are me and wing

i mean that's an easter egg i didn't even see that but look at our hair the most popular one so far has been a cake that says congrats on me you guys are loving it love me to the pits and bat oh my god they're absolutely so cute delightful divine you know the drill go to our website it's sephieandwing.co.uk they're all on there grab it whilst they're here because they're going to be gone soon and happy valentine's day for whenever the day comes 14th of february goes without saying you're listening to goes without saying with sephie and wing i'm wing and i'm sephie this i'm not gonna lie it's such a fucking good episode like i feel like i really needed this one i'm excited for you to hear it we go in on social media we give our own thoughts i think we get quite frank at a lot of points we don't sugarcoat but it's very loving it's very well

intentioned we're coming with peace always always hello wow hello welcome back welcome back feels like ages actually for some reason when was the last one what even was that i didn't know i don't know it was about like three days ago that we recorded so i don't know why it feels like so long i feel like i'm i feel like i've just woken up like i've been in ice or something in a slumber yeah 100 year slumber yeah i feel quite slumberous we i've just been chatting your ear off for two hours that's why why. I'm sorry. No, not at all. God, no. I'm exhausted.

I've had the weirdest sort of 24 hours. It's not you. Fill us in. I've been chatting right back. You have. You have, yeah. I mean, it would be crazy if you hadn't. It would be crazy.

I can't sleep. What have you been eating today? What have you been munching? Well, just in front of you i just had some um sea salt chocolate which is my favorite yeah because i love like a salty sweet vibe and you're leading me right in to talk about my cookies and i have to i'm so sorry go on no no please i've cooked the most in i baked these things these cookies oh my goodness they were dark chocolate cookies vegan with like sea salt on top oh my goodness i need they were insane like i might bake them tonight and then you can have

one tomorrow no would you really well the problem is i might do them for my brother's return from portugal so they're gonna be gluten Oh, that's fine by me. I'll eat the scraps off the floor. Yeah, but I'm thinking, do I do some not gluten free? Because I don't really want them gluten free. I mean, that would be very kind of you to do that. But the thing is, what if you don't like them? I'll actually be so embarrassed.

How bad can a cookie be? It'll be delicious. They're really thick and like cakey. Stop, I can't. So they're like, oh my God. The recipe the recipe guys i have to tell you where i got them it's from this woman i don't know anything about this woman i don't know anything i don't know who she is the website is called jane's patisserie jane's patisserie who is this woman i have no idea but i know her i know that i know her recipe vegan chocolate chip cookies oh my god thank me

later that insane i think i've done i think i've done something vegan from her before i think she's um she's the it girl amazing of the of the vegan baking world maybe yeah i mean hers didn't have salt on but i was inspired by a cookie i had in bristol um yeah and i thought let's take this to the next level thick flaky oh flaky. Oh my goodness me. Do you know a brand I'd love to work with? Molden Salt. Molden. Molden.

They mean so much. Molden. Who else can we throw out there? Molden, if you're listening. I mean, fuck it. Anyway. Well, look, if you choose to cookie me up, I would be so grateful. Okay, well that's, but I will be really scared if you don't like them.

There's really... I'm going to do the classic, they're not even that nice thing before you try one. I mean, it's a bit late for that. One thing you can say is this batch isn't as good as the last batch. That's what I might say. I already had that lined up to say.

But now I can't. You can, of course you can, but i'm not judging you i'm sure they'll be amazing but you know something that you love and then it's like i know because my dad i sent one to portugal in my brother's rucksack for my dad did you really yeah i gave i because i baked them the night before that's so cute is it that's really sweet of you well did you say about your gingerbread that you made for everybody yeah you yeah i made some gingerbread i gave some to my baker for everybody to my granny to my grandma yeah to my dad he got some but he didn't like it well it's about time i get my yeah exactly you've got to try some of this baking yeah no that's what i want i would never judge okay good i would never

i'm actually baking is actually one of my therapist's um recommendations for me she was like you might really enjoy it because i think it was a thing that i never really allowed myself to i'm in full support baking is actually one of my therapist's um recommendations for me she was like you might really enjoy it because i think it was a thing that i never really allowed myself to do um but oh my god last sort of few months i've been you've been getting into malark i've been baking bread i have throwing my baked goods into the red shock you ushering that name oh my god i must speak to you about him go on spit it out last night i almost watched five nights at freddy's but how i resisted i was going to rent it from youtube whoa three pound 49 times desperate fucking times i'll watch it with you i said please can we i actually i watched the

trailer on the train why don't you come down here one day and we'll watch it i think it's really dangerous actually to watch it he looks really good you know who i've really gotten over no you're not over him are you jacob yeah lord i need round of applause for that guys because honestly i've been in the fucking trenches but i made it out alive jacob alordi i mean who is right now you know what i've moved on to actually who you have to get under someone to get over someone honestly so you know jewel leaper's new boyfriend do you like him what's his name i do like him can't say i won't ask for his name but it's like just type it in on google what is his name that guy he's friends with like austin butler he is friends with austin butler because he's and drew Can't say. I won't ask for his name. Just type it in on Google. What is his name, that guy?

He's friends with Austin Butler. He is friends with Austin Butler. And Drew Barrymore. They're best friends. You know who everyone's really good friends with? Drew Barrymore, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Gibble. They're good friends.

They have so many friends. With Graham Norton. I always see him, like, hanging out. On Drew Barrymore's social. With Stephen Carver. What was I going to fucking say? He's in Fantastic Beasts. Not for me.

Have you ever seen Fantastic Beasts, even? I started one, but I just thought I physically cannot be in this universe without the Golden Trio. The Golden Trio. And who are the golden trio just just just to refresh everyone's memory harry potter ron weasley and amalia jean now i remember actually mortified it did really flow i think that is how do we know that oh the prime minister the minister of magic says it it is him any bill nye oh my god it hurts my heart jesus okay um right this is about social media yeah let's get to it come on let's get into the 21st century

let's do it so i have no thoughts jumping out okay my one thought actually is sometimes a lot of the time i feel a bit um well the whole time i feel very um aware of the fact that we're speaking into a microphone and sometimes i'm like i don't know what the other person on the other side wants to hear and i get a bit embarrassed almost to have a podcast and like talk and speak my feelings and speak about my own experiences and my opinions because i'm like they don't care but then it's like well if i go into this thinking that you don't care i may as well give up yeah so yeah what am i doing so i'm just gonna ignore you guys for a minute hope you don't mind but this is actually off the back of um we put on instagram sephie and wing what do you guys want to hear

from us next the comment with the top the top comment with the most likes was this would love to hear from oh i'm not going to say your name but i do know your name and i do know your username and i do know your profile picture and i'm sure sephia you would too if you look okay but i haven't seen my phone in two hours if anybody's doesn't know where it is probably about four hours now because we've been talking for two hours is that concerning i just haven't seen it around i don't know where it is maybe i'll get you to ring me after we've recorded this but i can't look right now well thank you to this person for all the support they've been here a while actually and they are very supportive so thank you well thank you i don't know who i'm i thank you

we love you we love you yeah so they said would love to hear more about self-perception and social media being perceived all the time especially with your platforms and how it affects your own views of yourself so i'm kind of taking that as like i think that might be my permission to express my being perceived all the time especially with your platforms and how it affects your own views of yourself so i'm kind of taking that as like i think that might be my permission to express my own thoughts i think it definitely is seeing if someone is literally asking you quite directly quite directly i think this is now an invitation for us to give our own thoughts on our own perspectives on social media we will however be referring to your thoughts to your thoughts on our own perspectives on social media we will however be referring to your thoughts to your thoughts on instagram which will obviously go without saying be far better than our own

let's get in go on then i would love to hear what what are your thoughts okay so at the moment i feel a bit no thoughts head empty about it to be honest which is not a great start yeah i feel like yeah i feel like it's such a huge topic it's such a huge um it's almost so overwhelmingly significant and it's really trickled into literally every day of life that i find it really hard to almost like justify it quantify it and like wrap it up in a nice bow for social media or for the podcast because i feel like i just have so many different conflicting thoughts i generally feel pretty positively about my personal relationship to social media i definitely feel i reckon at this point in my life now i feel like i have the best relationship with social media than i've had like yeah before we had the podcast yeah even like i feel like before i had the space on here and everything else i think i felt worse which is intriguing um intriguing if i do say so myself

watching people create stuff and now that you are doing it yourself there's probably more room for comparison before before because you're totally using it as a customer as a user as a consumer rather than like i oh come and pursue pursue my fine words yeah come and have a little browse of what seven wing have in store um i definitely feel like that new role of merchant at the bazaar gives a nice bit of balance to just my general just my general way that i use social media not i'm really doing anything on social media at the moment like i feel like i've accidentally taken like a month off instagram posting anyway well and tiktok too i mean you literally just posted a but i do post all the time on sephie and wearing that's true like less than an hour ago yeah that's true so

i think you i mean you're doing yourself a disservice as always you always and always always are making stuff oh oh thanks you always are i thought you thought you were saying you always do yourself a disservice which is also also kind of true. Well, you do. That goes without saying. Yeah. What about you? Yeah, I'm a bit empty-headed on it as well. Okay, that's good. So, if you don't hear from us, it's in the West.

Yeah. I think I've had a complicated relationship, I guess, with, although it is very much a one-way street. Figuring out your relationship goals. My relationship goals have been to feel peaceful with social media yeah um and just not have it really be a thought you know i don't really want it to be something i'm factoring in in any way um but i want it to be like a little extra nice thing rather than like um yeah a garnish i don't want it to cause any stress or anything like that it needs to be kind of pretty much positive and i think it was quite negative for

so long i think i was really like do you know what i think i felt a weird shift when i realized like it was kind of we were quite deep into it by the time i realized it but i was like god the majority of people that follow me i've never met like when it started off it when i first got instagram it was like my school friends people that i know and it doesn't take much to tip it over like this probably had like fucking 400 people that i was following and that followed me from school and stuff and then when it was like oh my god there's like 2 000 people that follow me that is um i'm now posting this to a very different audience god that's interesting i remember thinking it though like god now it's different i'm posting as if i'm

talking to my school friends still but the vast majority of these people i've never met don't know me hmm i see i always think you know that's really interesting go on though well i was just gonna say i don't think there's ever been a point where i've been like are the majority of people that follow me are from i mean it's always been like i mean at the beginning it was like yeah the majority but i've i've never thought i've always felt like it's still uh let me it's not an irl real world audience yeah like i think i've always felt even when like right when I first got Instagram it's like yeah most people follow me from school I think there's always that weird thing with social media like even like back in the day on Facebook where it's like people just

add you do you know I mean it's like there's just all these random usernames and faces that I feel like I definitely feel like the authority on my own page now my own page like I feel like the authority on my own Instagram feed for example like like i feel like the authority on my own instagram feed for example like on my profile i'm like oh yeah this is my like i feel safe posting here yeah but i don't think i have felt that really before because i don't think i ever thought of it in the sense of like i think i always felt like most people here i don't really know even when it was a lesser volume so interesting yeah i don't i never thought like i'm posting this for like friends and fam not friends and family but like these are people from like most i would i think i yeah most people that followed me i would assume i've met or a friend

of friend of at some point in my life so did that make you feel like you had to change the stuff that you were posting what i don't think i changed it it wasn't like a conscious decision of like oh my god I need to pivot what I'm posting my content style yeah not at all but I think it was like I was posting with like a real sense of like comfort like people that know me already like the people liking my posts I was kind of thinking were like people my friends and stuff and then I think I had a realization it's like oh my god they're not like these people don't know me and they know me from a thing they know me from the podcast but that felt like oh my god it's actually a different thing to what I've been treating it as that's so interesting because I think I had the opposite experience once again

the perfect duo yeah just in the sense that i feel like i got a sense of comfort posting more um when i knew that people were following me and like us from something wing yeah yeah and almost like posting instead of posting just to random people who it's like yeah like people who kind of know me or know of me then when it became like oh i don't know that that gave me more i felt less comfortable when i was posting to people who i just kind of like knew of and that sort of thing i think i feel comfortable with it now like now it's like it's completely that feels like what it has always been almost now yeah i think i remember the shift of like oh this is a different thing instagram is no longer um my story isn't me like are you

like me lying in bed with my friends kind of giggling away and there's like a weird little video of us again kind of meow meow like i wouldn't post that now no i would recommend you but i would have posted that honestly i wouldn't do that now because i know that they wouldn't want to be on on something going out to a load of people on such a huge profile they wouldn't necessarily want that going to a load of people but when it's just people from like school it doesn't really matter yeah yeah i think as well like the biggest cracks i think that underlines this whole conversation for us is the awareness of like the whole thing i think it kind of goes without saying but the whole thing is obviously inherently it leans into being incredibly

superficial and i think actually i think about this a lot like the more we come into um even just like quote unquote the influencer industry like the more we hear about it the more up close and personal we get the more i i know i've spoken about this before but like i find it really so sad like i'm personally cut up about the a lot of the reality of that industry and a lot of the reality of some of those people obviously i'm not like pointing fingers at anybody like it's not a personal like dig i just think so much of the stigma and the stereotype around social media and people who make money on social media etc is so fueled by to be honest not really much nothing other than misogyny yeah or like maybe misogyny and

racism and classism like just all those fun things yeah um so then when i encounter people or like experiences that affirm that stigma and like perpetuate that stereotype i find it so gutting and disappointing because i want so desperately for that not to be the case because i think there's a huge truth to the idea that like we hate society hates lots of these young women who have been able to in so many ways like actually truly empower themselves like buy themselves homes and like do really insane things by doing something like sharing their life on social media and building um in a night a nice word for it would be a community but that's a really beautiful idea yeah that is a nice word for it would be community i think also it depends what your platform is like

i think if you are making like youtube videos or i would say a podcast or something it does feel more like a community when there's like a back and forth dialogue and it's sort of part of a group of people watching a thing and like growing ideas together but i do think yeah community for name of your instagram followers is generous i um i just i don't know why i feel so compared to share this but i saw a youtube video the other day from a girl who i love i'm sure you know her her username is basically reese yes i do know her yeah i love her so much she's the one that she's doing like loads of circles yes she is she's a circle queen circle queen circle queen she's also mental health queen she's also depressed oh she is yeah yeah she is

i think she might even be pmdd queen which i I hate to give her this title. I hate to do that. I don't know if she wants to abdicate from this crown that I'm giving her. But yeah, she's mental health queen. And she made a video the other day and it was really, I hope she's kept it up. I don't, she didn't say she was going to delete it.

So that's kind of me projecting on her, but it felt really vulnerable. It was very rambly. Like it felt very authentic, quote unquote authentic, like true video of her just kind of expressing her thoughts and i'm not gonna butcher it was like will i always be depressed or something yeah yeah which actually brings to hear to my eye even just hearing you say it's click click i'm clicking really really because for a while i saw that

and i was like i can't click i haven't clicked it's been on my um i haven't actually watched nothing personal i haven't clicked but i think it's like i think that's such a universal question will i think will i always be mentally ill it's like oh don't i yeah i worry well i'm not gonna butcher the whole i would recommend if you're in a place to do so watch it just because i don't want to dilute her amazing content and you just hear it from us and then move on with your life. I would love to. I mean, she's way bigger than us. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.

Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These r got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this?

I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer. And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com because that's like i don't want to steal any views from her but part of it was her speaking just so um i mean i'm sure it wasn't like as freely i'm sure it didn't feel freely freely the banana girl didn't feel freely to her i'm sure she felt really insecure at points talking about it but it views as someone really openly and freely the banana girl talking about their mental health and kind of yeah questioning am i always going to be this mentally ill but also like her position on social media and i just thought it was a really fascinating video and i think i'm sure in the video she raises maybe maybe a few times, the idea of like, what is this video doing?

And like, what am I doing here? Yeah. And like, what value is this? And I've thought about it so many times since I watched it just yesterday, I think. Yeah. But it's still in my mind. It's really dominated your day today.

It really has. It really has. I didn't think I was going to bring, I mean, I just kind of took it in and I actually thought to myself, I need to let her know that she knows me me i was like oh i really yeah reese i know directly to you just because i was like oh it's horrible what horrible thing for me to do like just take that in take that in absorb absorb and like not even say thanks like where are my

manners was i brought up or dragged up like jesus like say thank you um say thank you so much reese but i just i really and i said this at cambridge too sorry i'm going on now no go on i don't know if there's any inherent barometer or like measurement for what makes content valuable or valid i think it's all about the consumer and what they want and need and will respond to in that moment like i don't know if there's any way that i personally would sit down and be like goes without saying is a good podcast let's get offstead in and call it excellent let's say like room for improvement like do you know i mean like i don't know if there's ever a universal marker of goodness in content, especially online content. And someone asked us at Cambridge, I'm not sure what the question was.

Why do you think people like the podcast? I think they said, how did you make the podcast good? Something like that. It's all a blur. Lovely questions, by the way. Thank you so much. Thank you. Love you lots.

But my response really, and way thank you so much thank you love you lots but my response really and it's i mean it so much i wish i could make it clear how much i mean this that i think the only thing that deems this podcast worthy is you listening because you listened to it and thought yeah that's worthy for me that's what i want right now yeah and it might not always be that way and i'm happy to just pop in and out whenever you need us goes that same just a teardrop away but very pop mothers famously classically but i really do think i don't i don't know if there is anything as like i think as long as you feel good about what you're doing other people responding to it is what makes you do you know what i mean it's just this goes out saying this was never about us it's never about seven wing it was never about us i remember this bit at cambridge now because i remember

what i replied to that but what it kind of triggered and it just triggered the same thing of like we often get messages that kind of surprise me it will be like you could listen to this episode and some will get a message and say love the bit where uh i don't know what's a bit about the hot dogs oh yeah love the bit where you said meow meow that was it really reminded me of this thing it's like that was so not the point of the episode you really misheard me it was such a minute moment that i wouldn't take from this this conversation or someone else next you wouldn't take from this conversation on the person on the bus wouldn't take from this conversation but it's what you what you're looking for you heard something yeah you heard something

because it relates to your life and it really does show yeah it anything any i don't really want to call this art but i'm going to kind of use like films and like books and all this stuff the things that i am highlighting when i'm reading are not necessarily the best bits of that book or even the themes of that book they are the bits that are relevant to my life and it's like as the reader or the listener or the consumer it is entirely about you whether you deem that thing to be good or bad it's nothing to do with the actual content crux crux crux underline underline underline exclamation mark exclamation mark exclamation points yeah on that whole thing agree agree agree i think that's why when it comes to social media it's so important if you're

someone who's making stuff your your sole responsibility your main thing is to think about what you would want to see and make that just give what you would need say what you would need to hear do what you would need yeah to have would need to hear do what you would need yeah to have done to you etc and i think it's why it's our responsibility as the consumer which i get myself in the cycle 24 fucking seven of not listening to my own advice of it's my responsibility as a consumer to look for the things that i want to see yeah seek out the things that i need to hear rather than going through the motions of like scrolling through stuff that is not helpful to me and is not nice for my brain and going back to basically

reese it's like even in that moment where she maybe not necessarily isn't necessarily comfortable i don't want to put words in her mouth but like is having an insecure moment and having an insecure moment on camera and sharing that with people it's so powerful i feel like that vulnerability like the importance of that cannot be understated like it is everything crazy it's everything yeah it's everything also i think seeing someone oh sorry did i cut you off go on please please please please um seeing someone that you admire having an issue that you also have i think is so um underrated underestimated indescribable thing to see yeah just all those things where it's like oh my god if that person struggles with that i can get through it and i think that's the whole

thing about why it's seen as such a powerful thing when people that are like influencers and stuff people that have sort of i don't know aspirational lives that you're watching a youtube video of them someone that you look up to and is like a stunning girl like reese so stunning so beautiful so divine girl yeah showing that it's like it isn't just a vapid little thing actually it's not just like a stunning girl like reese so stunning so beautiful so divine girl yeah showing that it's like it isn't just a vapid little thing actually it's not just like a silly little video it's actually important and it's actually so important no it's culturally important it's like this you're a phenomenon yeah it is you're breaking ground yeah it's why as well again though to come in another crux undercut terrible this is negative thumbs

down thumbs down thumbs down i'm bringing in sad point and i remember saying this at cambridge too it's why representation is so important because you always are looking for the thing that you need to hear and for so many people and for so many groups of people there's not enough of that content physically for you to access yeah and that is so fucked and the way that like real life human beings individuals in power algorithms and the industry in general favors a certain group constantly all the fucking time it directly impacts real human beings who are left to continue to feel worse about themselves because they can't see they don't have someone to look at and be like oh you did that so it's okay or you look like that so that's okay it's so yeah oh and really all you want to see important it's kind of the permission thing of

like it's giving a certain type of person the permission to have a breakdown sort of thing rather than like okay so i'm watching this video and i see myself in it and this person's having a breakdown in the video and it means that like yeah of course i can have one too but it's almost like okay so if you don't fit within that specific group not okay for you you've just got to keep going there's no evidence that that's allowed what an isolating experience on planet earth to constantly be cut out of the picture and sold this idea that you are not for whatever reason good enough and i i know everybody can relate to that in some degree but i think social media is so this goes without saying this is not a profound thought so dangerous because it constantly is feeding us all the ways that we are not good enough um

quote unquote it's so fucked but hey love it here see you here tomorrow yeah should we get some thoughts yeah i'm definitely cooking my cookies i'm getting hungry you know when it's like they're sounding good right now but i need to walk to the shops and get chocolate there's no pressure i'm i i don't want you to feel like you have to now no it's not it's not you it's not you don't worry i believe you it's that i'm getting hungry and i'm thinking yeah i'm good right about now yeah i think sorry just as well i don't know if i've made this clear enough but just going through people's responses on instagram sephian wing yeah um social media

social media sephian wing yeah just going through everyone's responses and us like having this conversation and i think as well going back to the beginning when it's like i feel like i need permission to have this conversation obviously like it's incredibly self-indulgent like it's so um it feels almost absurd to speak this much about being on your fucking phone and all of that shit and like how much of us like the awareness that we have about how we're presenting ourselves and and what we're taking in from other people and all that stuff like it's so um it there's a huge part of it that's like insanely dystopian to have this much awareness of like the self and how the self is being presented and how the self is being perceived the whole problem there's

the whole issue um it's really but that is but the conversation is so important well because also it's like it's dystopian but i hate to remind everyone we found ourselves in the midst of a dystopia like that is literally where we live it's a horrible conversation because it points out a horrible reality like bringing up covid it's like i'm so sorry to bring that up guys but you were there i did see you there you did live for a panda i know you're trying to forget but i can't see all this stuff oh shit sorry i don't know what my phone is sorry no no sorry sorry sorry i will i'll pick something i actually do wonder what my phone is though do

you want me to ring it now no just bring it in a second after okay okay so this person said who we love we love we love another username that we know and love everybody knows and loves um this is a household name in my house it's not but in the household of sephian wing it's a household name thank you so much for the support are you joking i've been thinking about simon cowell so much recently that's why it is a household name simon cowell okay this person said social media everyone having cool jobs slash is my job slash existence boring the urge to quit and be an influencer or whatever is so real sometimes with some cute emojis to go with it and i feel like first of all thank you so much thank you so much everybody that wrote them yeah the the idea of like oh the urge to be and

it'd be like just to sack it all in and just oh fuck why am i even fucking bothering let me just like if stephanie win can do it let me do it do you know i mean i so get that yeah i so get that like there's so much in life especially when you literally can't ignore it or like i mean you'll have to put in a good shift to try and ignore it like you're constantly being confronted by certain people who are living certain types of lives on social media i think my biggest thing would be like don't feel bad for having moments where you feel really fucking angry and resentful envious or bad about yourself don't feel shame or like guilt around that because it's very much by design that we would have this really human response to being sold these ideals yeah i think also it's we almost seem to think it's quite a new and it is new in so

many ways but that narrative of like why don't i just quit it all and become that something else like that is a very very very old theme like if you watch old movies it's always about like i'm just running away i want to run away and be an actress like that is always the thing and i think part of the problem with social media is that it makes it look really attainable and easy and i think that also is one of the lessons that we learn semi the hard way but also sort of a mediocre way quite a middle of the road yeah just a standard way yeah i think the road is longer than you think to be the thing i also think kind of what i was saying earlier about like the more i see of this world the more i see of like the industry and the people in it a lot of the time that the people that it's easy for it's normally for all the wrong

reasons unfortunately and i wish that wasn't the case but like i do think there's a lot of truth in almost like the lack of integrity in this industry i think that's the same with so many industries of course every single industry for the nepo babies of the world for the daddy's little princesses of the world things are easier what did i expect in every single industry like yeah i'm sure people i mean we've heard of people that work they're not considered um a public jobs glamorous jobs whatever but if you know somebody that knows somebody it's the road is way shorter i think definitely that with um sort of social media being basically the thing that we all use as entertainment at the end of your day you switch off and you watch this and as much as it's disgusting actually to see so much of like

someone having an easy getting paid money to talk about something that is so vapid and it's like right i would love to do that i'll quit and do that i've had a little peek behind the curtain now i've had a little god and i'm coming back fucking with my tail between my fucking legs god you wouldn't believe it is not i will tell you now it is not the route to happiness it actually is not um to be like posting generic things that you don't care about and it's easy to talk about a lip balm that you don't give a shit about yeah it is easy to get a little bit of money from that but it won't make you happy it truly won't from my peaks that's what i've discovered yeah um and i think it is a really sort of sick part of the industry that it makes it seem like everyone can do this like it is for everyone quit your job and do this it's like yeah can you can you go three years

without making any money in pursuit of this thing that maybe you don't even really want like the end goal of being an influencer i don't know too much about that but from where i'm looking and the stories i've heard it doesn't look too hot on the other end i also think fundamentally that i think this is the crux of the conversation when it comes to like the influencer industry for me personally and i know i've said this before boring boring boring yeah no sorry no yeah yeah yeah yeah boring boring but if i could just get one thing across and i hope i can even though i know it's falling on deaf ears no one wants to hear it but if you are doing no but you'll hear why in a second they're not going to want to listen to this but it's true yeah if you're doing something that is challenging or you're doing something that isn't um seen by

society is especially glamorous or you're doing something that takes a lot of your time and it takes a lot of your soul and you're pouring a lot of yourself into it and sometimes you sit back and think i don't know what i'm doing this for but you know this is the road for you yeah i just would like to take a little moment to remind everyone that there is so much value and need for you to be doing that on this planet and that your time on this planet is not wasted just because you don't have 100k people following you on tiktok just to be clear i'll tell you just because you've never been paid to talk about a lip balm for example that is not a reflection of you bringing no value in fact i would say most of the time quite frankly it's the opposite and i think on social media we can get our knicks in a twist and it can make you feel like what you're doing isn't enough and i just want everyone to come

away from this even for like 10 seconds try and hold on to the idea that actually what you are doing is enough more than enough we're lucky to have you here in fact i'm sorry this world is so shit too shit for you you're an angel among us queen queen queen queen of my heart body and soul and i just hope everyone feels okay in the space yeah i think keep looking for things that you enjoy yeah fuck off everything else yeah i just i think i think coming back to this world as like especially this situation as like a dystopian situation is really important to remember that it's like we're talking about the internet here we're not talking about reality really like the whole point of the internet is that so that's a big question if you're gonna think that happiness let is down the road of 100k followers

it's really fucking not like it's not but maybe that is your own that maybe that is your own lesson to learn yeah and if that's your and if that's a goal i actually totally think it's a fair and valid goal and i'm sure it totally is no it completely is but i think it's seen as like a universal goal that every everyone is happier the more followers they have or the more internet success they have it's like what the fuck like let's actually zoom out for a second i also think there's so much shame around it and especially because it's such a feminine world and such like a a girl's world like a feminine industry quote unquote that people a lot of young women aren't allowed to say this is what i want but it's like but they make it look so fucking does it's like honestly a teenage girl being like i like one direction 10 years ago it's like you idiot you

idiot it's like no no this is by design you want it is like one direction this was designed for me to like god forbid i fucking like it oops yeah yeah i like harry styles big dick do you know what i mean it's like oh silly me i guess i just walk straight into your trap simon but the idea of no one's allowed to say i want to get paid to talk about a lip balm but i don't know many people who would be like i don't want to get paid for talking about a lip balm i don't think anyone's allowed to say that they want anything though really in this world like i don't actually think it like i think actually if we zoom the whole conversation out for especially a woman to express desire for literally anything even her own happiness is not allowed the only thing women are actually allowed to do is like sacrifice

themselves for men really and their own kids that is like the only thing they're allowed to do work tirelessly and sacrifice themselves like that really is the only acceptable thing so i think whatever you do want to do go and fucking get it and actually do it but also also i think it is really fucked that which i i think pushing people into like so basically i think the over glamorization of social media is exactly that and over glamorization it is not true it is not what it looks like and i think if you do want it then pursue it full full steam ahead but if you don't want it that is so valid like give yourself grace for everything in between yeah we love you we love you we love you we really do yeah you don't even know you don't even like us that much pouring so much love into it's embarrassing i think some people here like us

i'll say it okay that'd be nice i'll put my hands up i've met some of these people and i think they said to our faces they really liked us oh god well if you've said so i'm believing you we like you a lot it's mutual i kind of i think i like you oh god okay right if you don't hear from us, assume the worst. Great episode. Do you want to do this or should I? I don't mind. Whose is it? You can do it if you want.

I'll do it. Okay. Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet.