Goes Without Saying - sexualising santa: podmas #24

Episode Date: December 24, 2023

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Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Oh my god, ho ho fucking ho. Motherfucking ho. Merry Christmas Eve. It's, oh my god, my microphone's falling. Sugarplum fairy pot mother. It's Christmas Eve! It's, oh my god, my microphone's falling. Sugarplum fairy pod mother. It's Christmas Eve. Wow!

If you look very closely, you might catch a glimpse of him tonight through your window. There he goes. Scary. That was a bit scary, actually. Why is he by the window? Who? You don't mean Santa, do you? Jim! That's horrific. Oh my god, we didn't do

an episode on the sexualization of father christmas oh fucking we can't do that on christmas day we can't do that now that's so inappropriate for now oh fuck should we shift this one to sexy santa and then we do um the reassurance one on christmas day it's quite nice but what do you mean what about the ones we've just done why don't we do sexy santa now what for today this episode that we record we're on yeah we're recording now we're on the air why don't we do this yeah a sexy santa

yeah the discussion about sexualization santa yeah and then for the christmas day episode do the one we were going to record now that's like everything you're in the right place okay so this is christmas eve and we're talking about the sexualization of santa i'm just sorry i'm just getting my head around the fact that we're ruining christmas for everyone worldwide i think it would be good yeah no it's so true i'm sure we have a good app for tomorrow to say as well yeah all right lovely um well look i think santa is a bit hot i can kind of get into it sorry coming yeah no i think we're gonna be coming from different angles here go on tell me

about him i think you're gonna make me out like some sort of common whore i'm gonna be over here saying yeah look at him he's hot what do you mean and then it's gonna be like you know you shouldn't do that wing it's disgusting what no can you actually talk me through that as a thought process okay so i get it that it's fucked up right i do should we even talk about what we're talking about yeah go on can you introduce us so something behind the door behind the door today. Behind the door. God, close it. Of much deliberation. Keep it closed.

Is it Santa's nudes behind the door? I'm taking a peek. Terrifying. So this has kind of been a thing we've been discussing throughout the month very briefly. I think we spoke about it in one of the episodes. God knows if you want to root through them and try and find it. i think we spoke about it in one of the episodes god knows if you want to root through them and try and find it yeah but we were talking about how it is a little bit weird how what were we talking about kind of santa baby uh-huh all of this kind of sexualization i saw mommy kissing

santa i'm on his lap i'm in a little kind of i'm in this floozy little red shimmery lingerie i'm looking kind of crazy right now. That sort of thing. And we were in Primark the other day, me and Wing. What were we buying? Gloves to go ice skating. We were ice skating. Jesus.

Very much needed. We used cheap gloves quickly. And we did and we found them. And there was some sexy Santa kind of lingerie there, like with the white little trim and the little Santa thing thing i don't so much have an issue with that like look do what get your kicks where you get them what you will do what you will do your worst guys strip that fun from you you know what you look amazing look at you guys you look amazing but i just think probably sexy who's the lucky santa who's the lucky elf am i right yeah exactly who's the lucky elf um but even that even that look

this is a kid's sort of nursery rhyme kind of thing yes yes the children's character it's it's definitely there's an oddness to it and we were kind of discussing about like god does everything have to be sexual and like does it have to be that there's a man there's an there's an old bearded man that comes down your chimney every night and then the way that our culture kind of deals with this myth is to be like yeah i saw mummy kissing him um santa baby leave a present for me oh my gosh you're kind of giving me the eye it's like what is going on yes so true what is going on like why do we think kardashian yeah oh my god santa baby santa baby is it why why are you whispering i actually thought it was so funny from kendall

she was like not santa kendall that's actually funny it was the first funny thing she said bit of pizzazz from her for once pen me pizzazz mmm mmm I wouldn't cause such things but anyway so what's your point here my point is stop sexualising an old man and pretending women want to fuck him they don't right is that it

but you're saying you do I think I do I don't know I mean it would be an experience be horrible undeniably i'm buttoning that red big belt she's got on his white chest can we take your hat off leave the boots on he obviously keep the boots on unbuckle that belt oh my gosh okay so i'm not saying i think sunter's hot no i'd be so surprised if that's where this went and i think yes fine i admit zoomed out on like a global perspective the sexualization of

women well that's my issue everything the highs the lows the christmas whatever yeah it's not nice to see it's not however as a practice in my own life almost like to examine the sexualization of christmas i can get behind it keep going well i like the idea you know we're by the fireplace it's cold outside i mean that's fucked up baby it's cold outside i've i've roofied your drink it's fucked up it's you can't go i really must she's like i'm i really need to leave though he's like baby it's i've locked the doors don't go any further. Don't anger me anymore. It's horrific.

Don't anger me anymore. It's actually so scary. It's horrifying. I've hidden your car keys. It's so horrible. It's awful. That obviously is not sexy to me personally. No, it's awful that obviously is not sexy to me no it's horrific that is fucked up but i don't think that to me is speaking to the sexualization of santa and christmas and all about no that's also a reflection of like okay this world is a

fucked up place that's just crazy and just a couple decades back we were saying crazy things we think you can't leave my house and we thought what a hit we thought that's a romantic turn it up romantic song we've only a few years ago that like i remember it's like three years ago people started being like that's a bit weird right i i think as well there's so much about christmas that is so this is how i'm picturing it okay and i think a lot of my experience as a young woman in this patriarchy is finding really fucked up things and thinking, how can I make this enjoyable for myself? Is there a silver lining here?

And if so, how can I use it to, as you say, get my kicks? Yeah. I'm kind of picturing, and I think this is a lovely gift for us all. Yeah, go on. Tell us the picture. Paint us a pretty picture. For example, a single... Tell us the picture.

Paint us a pretty picture. For example, a single... ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay.

I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson, and this is a Field Guide to Gay Animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer, and we are a part. Find a Field Guide to Gay Animals on Spotify, Apple.

Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com Mother, right? Swept off her feet. Fucking hell. God, she's fucking knackered okay yeah these kids they're doing my nutting i have spoiled them i'm working day in day out for these kids all they want this this this oh they want a new president they ever mentioned that before where am i going

to find that fucking 78.99 to pay for this meeting it's a lot no jesus no no no i'm thinking almost more like there's so much um emphasis placed on giving to others being there for everyone else spoiling children etc etc etc she's cooking all day she's so knackered wouldn't it be nice to just be bent over santa's laugh this evening just a moment of peace for mommy i'm thinking you know how can we make this uh an event for for this for this mother that doesn't sound like an event for the mother that's an event for santa well yeah it is but that's a horrific event for the mother that's i've locked the doors that's horrific okay so go on why is it so horrific then because he's an old he literally is like an old bearded kind of cuddly old man.

Okay, but what if he's not hot? Okay, what if it's not about Santa specifically, but it's more about the sexualization or like the romanticization of the sensuality of the season? That's how I see it. It's candle time. Oh no, I love that. It's hot bath time. It's dim the lights. That's everything the lights it's fireplace it's fluffy white linen

robe it's it's something you know it's it there's something delightful there there's something so romantic winter most romantic season wintry winter so romantic i love it you won't catch me finding an issue with that no that's delightful but you don't like the sexualization of this dirty old man what i don't like is the fact that there's a there's a character that is kind of invented um this kind of cuddly man with a big beard that gives kids presents and then the there's the kind of invention of the christmas single that makes pop stars money and it's like right here we can all start doing this the men sing simply have been a wonderful christmas time and the women sing i'm gonna fuck you well of course they do yeah and i just it's like how have we managed

how have we managed to literally turn the least sexual thing probably in existence you say that though but into something sexual yes but you say that but i think there's so much of the language and the imagery around christmas that is it it leans in so i'm not defending it but i can see how we would part of it he's not no he doesn't have to be part of it but almost like look at me wrapped up like a little gift just unwrap me over here i'm so i'm such a good girl yeah i think a lot of it okay so it is your you do have an issue with santa i have an issue with the the idea of some old man that's horrible so what if santa came down your chimney and you thought all right go on then i wouldn't really that should i show you a photo of him do you need your brain refreshed

of what this guy is who we're talking about he's he's a sweet guy i'm looking at a picture of now my advent calendar should i remind you his work schedule is super flexible apart from one night of the year we could go on holiday all year he doesn't look too bad he's got yeah little rosy cheeks and you know beard bearded man i mean yes it's a stretch okay i hold my hands up it's a stretch but i don't hate it i do i said to you in private i said a man in uniform who could say no you know what i can get behind it it's just i i think a man in uniform is so absurd say right what um who hottest guy in your say peter malark right yeah yeah let's say that he comes down in in a little um red kind of buckly number okay right and he says come sit on my lap yeah that's completely different there we go that's

not what we're talking about no but i think it's not necessarily um literally santa but it's more about um kind of this man or just like just someone wearing red honestly it could be any of us and i think that's yeah yeah i agree with you the sexualization of the young pop star having the little starlet having to say yeah come and unwrap me with your my ribbons are all over my nipples sort of thing is it's a sad state of affairs but i do think christmas is hot um you're unwrapping something about oh wow it's so giving what christmas it doesn't scream hot to me at all probably at all actually okay winter definitely does i definitely love maybe it's the childhood trauma in me i haven't had a good family christmas i don't know i don't know family friendly christmas i get it for winters everything christmas day is not necessarily

giving um look my issue here is with santa my issue i'm kind of thinking like oh you know this cup they've been up all night wrapping presents for the kid and they wake up early half an hour before the kid wakes up they think yeah should we you know there's a little spark liking that it's a special day it's like you know before the kids come it's a special moment it's time for love generosity showing appreciation for people yeah no you that's lovely right yeah i like that i just don't necessarily like the introduction of an old man yeah yeah this old kind of grandfather figure right i'm not a fan of it but anyway i think we've made the point and yeah i think that's yeah there you go happy christmas eve merry christmas eve everyone and

thank you so much if you've got we love you we love you this far in podmas till the end of time we love you um you're gonna get a little thing tomorrow as well just being like yes and maybe even the finale's more after that who knows we love you so much hope you're feeling good yeah and um we're sending lots of love sending lots of love as always yeah hope we put you in the mood we put you right in the mood we definitely have i really don't want to leave oh baby you have to stay he's horrific who is that uh i think loads of people have done it we should do a version of it oh my god we absolutely absolutely should. Should we do that now? Yeah, let's do it now. Okay, go on. Okay, Christmas number one.

Wing, are you cold? Yes, it's fucking freezing. I've locked the door. Oh god, why have you locked the door? I've turned up the heat. Oh wow. Because you said you were cold. Okay, okay, let's go then.

Bye. Bye. If you don't hear from us, assume we slayed too hard. Assume we got fucked by Santa too hard. Bye.