Goes Without Saying - situationships & settling: dating or *vali-dating*?

Episode Date: November 28, 2022

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This is such a fun, but also quite sincere and kind of has some advice in here kind of episode if anyone's dealing with a situation relationship where they're feeling a little bit uncertain a little bit like they're not their head could be turned let's say let's bring it back to a few months ago love island style your head could be turned you could be happier if you're feeling like you're not being treated the way you want to be treated i think this might give you a little bit of a confidence boost and just a little little cuddle little hug from sephie and wing um thanks for being here guys love you hey hey another week this is late at night as well it's 7 35 according to my watch it's the middle of the night i'm ready for bed it is yeah um it's just pitch black outside yeah the week has flown hey

it really has flown we've had a big week big week from us go bossing about the place thanks for everyone with all of the love on the merch it it's like the craziest, nicest, cutest, best thing ever. Also, thanks for everyone who was so excited about our Look Fantastic reel that we posted on Instagram. That was really nice. You can use the code SEVILLINGLF to get a discount on Look Fantastic. We've been absolutely loving it. I'm not going to lie. What's your favourite thing you got, actually?

I've been spoiled. Let me think. Let's talk beauty yeah let's quickly do a quick beauty segment um you know what i'm actually loving this is actually like i couldn't be more sincere i don't know how you pronounce this brand cosrx it's a korean beauty i mean i'm not gonna know it's a korean beauty brand and i already had the snail mucin oh i've fucking seen this snail shit yeah so i already had that so then i saw they had this toner on there and that's what i've is that snail as well no but it's from the same brand and i'm loving everything

from that brand but it's on look fantastic guys use our discount code honestly please do um my favorite thing is the uh skin what's it fucking oh the benetton do you like that i thought you would like that i think because i don't fun fact about me i don't like wearing foundation and i actually did get quite a fancy foundation you did i was like i want to try a really nice foundation and i got a fucking beauty blender which i've never had in my life. And I want one almost in the way that I want like a squidgy toy. Yeah, it was stressful. Like I've always wanted one. And I haven't used it yet.

Right. But I'm excited to use like a foundation and put the fucking Benetton on it. I would say you got the Giorgio Armani, didn't you? Luminous Silk. I did. You did. That's the best thing I've ever had in my life. I think you should use quite a small amount

and get the beauty blender really really wet because i feel like you like something a little bit more thin and lightweight and i like i like it's so thin that it's essentially just oxygen i don't like it on my skin um i fun fact about benetton actually it was originally created well part of this history of the product was that it it was said to be originally created for women to use on their nipples to make them more like ready pink is this a thing people want red nipples well back in the day i think for like performers or something you want a more defined nipple pinky red kind of blushed nipple i don't know honestly can i just say the patriarchy is beauty standards use our discount code we're not being paid to say that by the way anyway um i thought we could have quite a fun

chat this week because this is actually a conversation that i feel like we have quite regularly um with love always with love sometimes tough love but with love yeah i think with love and also with just like i have just the love of wanting everyone to be empowered and i think it comes also with um an irritation at seeing men get away with things they shouldn't get away with and almost like wanting women to have the confidence to not accept shit so i think mine comes with love but it also comes with just like a shake a show it comes with a shake it comes with yeah that's fair enough that's and there's been times where i've been shaking myself as well but it comes with the shoulders imagine that goes without saying well this was also inspired by we

asked for questions on the story and somebody said how to get over a situationship that has ended like abruptly or you know just how to deal with that um so we're going to be talking about situationships and kind of settling and just not being given what you deserve in life yeah um how do you feel about that yeah me too we had this actually after our merch came out that we had a big merch day well we pressed launch we went mental on instagram posting everything i kind of fell asleep we literally had a full plate of we had our dinner our food arrived literally five minutes before we were set to like press go um and we were shoveling it down i at the last i couldn't get a glass of red wine i haven't actually addressed this with you but i was aware that i was really

shoveling my food down like in quite an insane way like almost like um kind of charlie bucket like i haven't eaten all year and then all of a sudden like i was really i was really going for it and i knew i was being honestly quite disgusting but I just thought I can't be bothered I'm so distracted and I kept thinking I need to bring that back up with you that there was kind of like stuff everywhere like kind of like the juice from my burger was everywhere but I was just oh my god I didn't think of that at all also I was already annoyed because I ordered it was like a sweet potato curry that came with rice and i said oh can i also get chips and he said uh it does come with rice i was like i know i know

and also whilst you're at it i want your cheapest red wine but they were so confused they were like so what red wine do you want and it's like how many times do we have to say the cheapest one they literally got the menu out i'm like point us to the one you want it's like just just the house cheapest cheapest one yeah literally just whatever you have the worst one you have just a drop yeah the most disgusting one yeah so it was really panicked and then so we did all of that then kind of collapsed in on ourselves um and we're so so to be honest like absurdly knackered we call it the tarpaulin feeling we do because tarpaulin feeling go on at one point at one point we were at some sort of event and we ended up lying on this bit of tarpaulin which is like

what would you call it's just like material it's just like a kind of building a tent material like a scrap of material that was just dumped on the floor so seffy and i took it upon ourselves to just like lay down on it for a little bit and almost so close to tears no we were honestly like i just i wanted to disappear i wanted the ground to swallow me up just zoom me off home it was it was really bad so i was saying seffy i'm 65 tarpaulin if you're 100 tarpaulin it's like god she's dead take her home like she can't do this but I was like okay I'm 75% tarpaulin like it's getting worse it was so bad it was almost an exhaustion the crash level which I sometimes get and to me that

is also similar to I left it all on the stage energy right yeah yeah it's like we gave it all to that fucking we did and we gave all our energy to that um sort of 15 minutes of launching it it's all going up and people are going i bought it and it's like yeah we're gonna die yeah yeah and then it crashes down hard it's too overwhelming for the soul so we went then to costa got coffees and a tea both got coffee both got tea both got water tap water of course of course um and yeah we had a we ended up having just such an interesting conversation yeah i think it was from the crash of the energy to then the artificial caffeine energy bringing us back and we needed some sort of distraction i think yeah we're like let's talk

about anything but the merch yeah so we started talking about um women settling for shit which is our favorite topic really it really is can i ask you something oh go on well i was just gonna say it is not the problem of women that they settle for shit it's the problem that men offer up shit and that women's self-esteem has been kind of systematically lowered over the fucking decades so they think they have no other option but to settle for shit because i think nothing better will come along for them well it's kind of um in the years that we were being made being conceived our mums couldn't get a fucking credit card for example without the signature of a male it's like yes we do have this desperation for a male um it's been like kind of embedded in us by society it's embedded in all media in all kind

of people yeah ever yeah and we don't exist in a vacuum in the way that you buy a fucking thing and you find out you buy a skin fucking tint you find out oh it's for people to put on their nipples what no wonder we're all fucking insecure are you kidding me catch the men tinting their nipples can i ask you a question yeah um did you do you feel comfortable telling us about a time that you feel like you've ever settled in a in a situation ship situation i do feel comfortable to share this yeah um i think there's only been one point in my life where i've ever settled for really i think so in like in an actual way i think i i don't i don't think i um i think i made a point kind of recently where I was not settling but a situationship was very um becoming inconvenient for me um and there was no kind of I guess I have respect for the person and I believe there was respect for me but it was almost in the way that like this isn't a reliable

thing that for me and it's just almost it's um you're taking the piss a little more hassle than it's worth yeah it's more hassle and i just outweighing the good and it was just like a block situation and it really was that it's worth and it was just almost like send the message and block and i've i'd never felt more confident in the thing of like it's nothing to do with the person it's just i need to not have you as an option anymore and I think that was a real marker of like let's not settle for I'm ending this chapter or anything less than what exactly what you want really but I think there was a point at uni where I was definitely settling for a complete lack of communication and I think that's one of the

things that is so um well I think it's a massive thing for me like I really I find it actually with the feeling of waiting for a message or waiting for someone to respond to you is such a point of anxiety especially when in a in the early stages of like dating someone when kind of the idea of do they like you do they not like you is hinging on the speed at which they reply to you yeah which is mental what have we done what is the state of this world um i find someone not replying for days and then picking up the conversation as as if they replied 10 minutes later so fucking rude well there is a weird exchange there when in the meantime they're also getting to have sex with you well you had sex with them two days ago um i haven't heard a peep from you yeah and i

find that it's i think it's a thing almost it was a normalized thing oh like they'll probably you have sex with them on the wednesday oh well don't you probably hear them from hear from them on sunday night when they're hungover no what the fuck is that it's crazy well it's also you're kind of the whole time you're being encouraged to just be super chill and casual and don't you dare like feel any certain type of way like as if what you're expecting a text god okay so you oh my god like you're not even together and you want him to text you all the time jesus like calm down oh my god you've just yeah god oh my goodness i think oh no go on no you go well i think the communication even extends beyond texting i think texting is a whole fucking etiquette yeah so i it doesn't compute with my form of communication whatever that may be i've

been told in the past it is jarring or like my communication in life is i'm not good at small talk i'm not good at like conventional little people are good at um so i think the whole like how's your week been oh mine's been good haha i know i can't and i think a lot of people can't do that like it's just so stiff and so fucking dull but like so texting is one whole fucking ballpark which i find to be quite a minefield I can't do, and I think a lot of people can't do that. Like it's just so stiff and so fucking dull. But like, so texting is one whole fucking ballpark, which I find to be quite a minefield. But then the IRL talking thing,

when you're actually with someone, I found in a certain situationship I was in, that you're having a conversation that's about fucking shite it's just about your day it's about oh my god that was so crazy earlier blah blah blah blah but actually there's this whole subtext of stuff that's way more interesting that you might as well just say by the way i really think you're quite hot blah blah blah i thought this was cool when you said that or like i think that was really funny blah blah you might as well just say all of the stuff that's in the interesting subtext or like do you do you like me because

i'm a bit confused or blah blah blah whatever it is because you're you're wasting time and it and i actually think that is where all of the truth and all of the stunning things that are actually in a relationship with someone that's where they are but it's normalized that you would just kind of skirt around them by talking about authentic and trying to gather crumbs of how people feel i feel like actually just a lot of the stunning by the way gorgeous point from you um as always goes that saying i think a lot of the etiquette around just like the language that we use around dating like there's this weird false narrative of just be yourself but i actually think the whole thing is screaming at you to be as inauthentic

as possible 100 and keep this mask up yeah and just hide your personality talk about things you don't care about how's work haha oh my god same me too yep see you there cool that was fun and just regurgitating like the same kind of phrases you know like on um was it like club penguin where you could only choose from like a search yeah it's like well i don't want to say haha that was fun like you can only choose from a certain list of automated messages yeah it's like no i want to type out like fucking how this is so nuts or like i want to say my own thing but you're sucking the personality out of me because i can't afford fucking seven quid a month or something

whatever it was do you know what i mean like sorry i'm not a member yeah i don't want to choose from a certain like list of these boring fucking phrases cool see you monday yeah that was fun amazing that works for me perfect see you there just boring boring boring boring i'm dead i'm dead at this are you having fun i think the question is are you having fun or are you just trying to perform the most desirable version of yourself which spoiler alert it's nothing like yourself it's not a version of yourself it's a version of a woman that you've seen somewhere so painful it's not it's not good we're talking to ourselves by the way always i'm talking to myself and i'm also talking to anyone that resonates with that same but i don't

want it to i'm not i'm not looking down at anyone from my ivory tower i want to make that much clear i'm in no position to be looking down i'm looking i want to make it clear i'm definitely not in an ivory tower right now. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay.

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Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere a cast.com um okay can i ask you another question yeah of course sorry you're being really quick with the questions I haven't thought of any for you you never have and it's fine do I not I think this podcast is shaped on me saying can I ask you a question you do say you do say can I ask you a question and I always just throw it back but I do feel like I don't you're so quick with questions and I never even think of them on time yeah I don't want you to ask me any questions. I like to keep things to myself.

I would love to ask you questions. Okay. I feel like a lot of our conversations skirt and shimmy around the idea of people presenting one idea of their relationship publicly. And actually privately, the relationship might not be everything might not be as it seems for example you might think sephie and wing are all good but actually it's trials and tribulations over here i'm joking but like for example okay i'm gonna kind of make two points here for example there are situations where i think because publicly it might look like oh they're a great couple yeah they're a perfect match or like oh wow he's so hot

like that's exciting that you're dating him or like oh cool that's a fun job that that girl has that's fun that you're dating her she can take you here here and here whatever blah blah blah sometimes i think the public perception of what a relationship could be outweighs the benefits of getting involved in it for a lot of people yeah and i think for as long as people know that they can project this idea of a fun relationship a stable relationship a happy relationship a sexy relationship a passionate relationship yeah a good relationship whatever form that might be as long as they can project that they don't they prioritize that over how unsafe they go to bed feeling at night yeah for example things like

that like they're tossing and turning then however i was also saying this i've said this to everyone i know and i've probably said this on the podcast sometimes and here i am from this is an ivory tower moment but i think the question of the ivory tower is interesting sometimes in life and in your friendships and just people that you meet but i would say in friendships in close friendships for example you see people that you love getting treated really fucking badly and try as you might you want to obviously let them know that they are amazing and just deserve to be loved in the most amazing way and deserve all good things in life and i was literally just saying this to my friend just now at what point can you at what point are you the arsehole for letting your friend be treated like shit but at what point are you also the arsehole for like interfering or trying to steer

them in a direction that you think is more appropriate do you know what i mean like i find that line really hard to draw what are your thoughts on that well completely so do i and i also think when someone is treated being treated like shit the instinct is to almost get angry at anyone that's attempts to point out the fact you're being treated defensive yeah so i really don't know it's hard isn't it because actually this is a this is a pop culture reference so i don't want to get into the kardashians maybe we can save that for another episode oh my god let's save it let's save it but in the hell there was a there was just a brief thing that kim said once in passing about i don't know if it she was talking about it in relation

to chloe and tristan if you don't know what i'm talking about then oh everyone knows what you're talking about she was just saying the gist of kind of like she thinks back to her relationship with her now ex-husband kanye west if nobody knows and she sometimes thinks like of all the shit that she was put through with him publicly privately things that her family knew about things that her loved ones knew about and wonders if they ever wanted to intervene maybe more than they had because i think for example in situations where if you get yourself out of a situation an involvement with somebody that was you know not good for you wasn't serving you all of those

you know it's toxic all of those things the classic things i think you might sometimes look back and think well why the fuck why did seffy not say to me hang on wing this ain't right like get away from this person or blah blah blah but then if seffy does intervene and say hey wing like i actually don't really like this guy. I think this isn't right. Like, maybe you should reconsider. I might, you know, flip out. Freak out. Who knows?

Yeah. Well, sometimes it's not helpful. Sometimes they don't see it. Sometimes they realize that it's only going to push you further into that person. Yeah. But it is interesting to see in hindsight. I think there was a point. Yeah.

But it is interesting to see in hindsight. I think there was a point, this is the same person I'm talking about, the only ever, I would say, unhealthy, or the only thing that when it stopped serving me that I kept going sort of thing. Me and my friend were in quite a similar situation. Like she was kind of essentially sleeping with someone that wasn't really replying to her.

I was also sleeping with someone that wasn't really replying to me. and we were both acting in that way that oh i think we both genuinely believed oh yeah they definitely like us this is just how boys are like we were young blah blah boys will be boys as they say and girls apparently will be desperate and just allow it me at me then um and we now talk about it and we we were talking we were talking the other day and we're like what the fuck were we doing like the fact that we couldn't see it for each other even yeah now when we look back it's so obvious like oh no they just didn't like us like it's as simple as that they did not like us but for some reason i was so um happy to take what you could get so i think i

thought he liked me i think i was like okay they definitely like me he definitely likes me i think i thought for the guy she was seeing i was like no he definitely likes you but actually now when you look back it's like fucking hell it's actually like starkly obvious and it almost it's like why didn't it's not why didn't anyone tell me but it's like why could if i couldn't see it for her there's no fucking way you can see it for yourself yeah yeah when you're in it you are fucking in it and that's one of the most um annoying bits i think that you can know all of the fucking facts but when or you can know all of the um the shit like you can know it all and then when you are kind of hit with the thing of like

fuck i like someone when you like someone yeah love is blind as they say how can you see pretty when you're blinded by the sun guys how can you but you have to because then you'll be in a fucking 15 year relationship accepting crumbs and we all know how it fucking goes before you know you've got a kid okay so how can you how can you um what is it about is it about holding on to your values is it about if you're in a long-term relationship checking in and taking stock of what is and isn't bringing happiness yeah i think it's almost um i remember when i got out of this thing writing a list to myself it's probably still in my notes of all of the things that i think were really important to me and it was like yeah communication loyalty they're fucking hot as hell like all of the things can you share some of the things

yeah of course and almost like the danger though is that when you like someone they seem to feel all of these things but i think it's like really taking stock of the things like do they make me laugh and you might in your dumb loving brain be like haha yeah they do they're so funny but it's like hilarious thing can you think of five things they did that made you laugh if that's really important to you can you are they funny yeah yeah yeah yeah taking stock of and then if maybe they're not filling these things maybe it's worth having a conversation with yourself yeah because sometimes as well like fun positive relationships can come in different forms that you weren't expecting like 100 percent you know they might not fit this kind of weird version yeah it's not like a prescriptive thing

yeah build a boyfriend but kind of like you know you might think you um want to have sex with someone with brown hair and then you meet james acaster and all of a sudden he comes along you're naked sometimes things can be you know pleasantly surprising yeah but always things can be pleasant yeah yeah but give it the space to do that rather than let it be pleasantly that's the yeah exactly sometimes things can also be very unpleasantly surprising at what point do you think you know when something's gone too far and it's hit an expiry date like when you find yourself feeling unsettled and like insecure and like not confident in yourself and like worried about losing the thing more than you feel confident in

the thing because i was gonna say at the beginning i feel like those are really common feelings like if you've just started seeing someone for example you might be like oh my god you know they're so great they're so this they're so that um that's fine and you're nervous and those sorts of how do you how do you know when that goes into a different when you're losing your sense of realm you're losing who you are outside of the thing i think one of the things is that you become sort of obsessed with this view of what your future will look like and you've written this short story you've built your identity around you with this person which is fine to have a view of yourself with this person but does that outweigh the view of yourself without that person like regardless of that person and i think when you

get attached to the idea of your future and speaking of the kardashians i remember chloe was talking about like it's the person i imagined my life with it's like that's the problem you've got this imagined future which spoiler it can never be that future because let's look at his behaviour. He's ruined the past, the future and the present all in one fucking go. Two goes, actually.

Probably in the multiverse as well. He's probably ruined parallel universes as well. He's ruined everything. He's ruined everything. He ruined everything. He spoiled everything, Ronald. He ruined everything and then did it all over again. So he ruined everything yeah and then did it all over again so we ruined

everything twice over is it kind of you everyone can explore the future everyone can be excited about oh my god we can do this yeah god god can we oh boy god can we if there's anything we can do i could do this all day oh god goes without saying but is it when you're prioritizing the version of your future with them over everything else in your life like almost a version of your future without them isn't worth living yeah or just you are willing to compromise everything about yourself and kind of um you've forgotten who you are you've forgotten all the things because i feel like that's one of the main things that people think about in a breakup they're like oh my god i forgot that i um oh yeah i feel like i'm finding myself again it's like yeah because you were completely lost in being the version of you that they wanted

is part of this though like inevitably i mean we would hope that as we age or just even as we go through new experiences we're constantly finding out new things about ourselves and hopefully getting to know ourselves more is there a part of it that we will in some ways inevitably look back at the relationships we had when we were younger and think like god i was just so ready to just lose myself and become somebody else for them partly because your sense of self wasn't as developed as it was then just because you were younger and you were still you were much more inexperienced you were figuring things out like hopefully as we get older we become who we are more hopefully get more comfortable with who we are god touch word yeah touching word please please we can only hope it can't go downhill we can't go down it can only go up but it's part of that just inevitable

that it's why you know young people and i do think you know young girls are so vulnerable to being in situations that can be really dangerous i think so well this is also 100% when you're younger you're more impressionable but i would also love to see the stats which can never be found of how much men compromise themselves and how much women compromise themselves in relationships because we know that women have been trained since fucking i'm gonna say puberty but it could even be birth that to be able to morph yourself into different things change yourself i.e fucking put red shit on your fucking nipples what you're you're told you're using that discount code now they are sephian wing lf look fantastic um um but it's like we've been told straighten your hair

put makeup on laugh less be smaller be thinner talk less you're too clever dumb yourself down all of the shit but be funny but don't be too funny don't be gross all of these things don't be fucking gross you're doing too fucking fast we've been told to do all of this don't be a bitch but on your period how embarrassing disgusting um we've been told to do all of these fucking things and yes men get told to do so many fucking yeah but the way that women are told to like literally change who they are to be appealing to men is it's to be honest um incomparable so i do think that in relationships of course it would be um sort of more common that women would like shrink themselves and like completely change to what a man is because it's just not made as yeah completely change your personality and interests and everything um to try and like appease what they think men want yeah and men can just walk through

to be the dream girl hey loads of struggles available now stuff in wing.co.uk oh the dream oh the dream you oh the dream girl what well that's interesting yeah this i'm liking it all right good me too let me think of a question okay if you have would you have any advice for anyone that feels like they are slipping into like a lack of control in their like situationship or relationship what do you mean by control well like a lack of control over themselves because i feel like the thing that i've experienced is the thing where you feel like oh god this is i'm out of control i'm out of my depth here like i like this person um scary and that's outweighing my um my common sense well i think there is you know in an ideal sense in a beautiful idyllic life there's so much fun in a short period of time where you're just

completely lost in the potentials of a new love a new love a new relationship new whatever just a new person that you've met and you're completely just taken over everything you do it just infatuated in the lavender haze some may say you're just completely um oh la la it's getting me all excited and delighted it's just so fun like yeah that is there's fun in that goes without saying but i just want to take a second to honor that that i think i don't want anyone to feel ashamed that they fucking see someone they like and they get excited like it's part of being human excitement is the least of no no god run with yeah yeah follow the excitement feeling excited you're feeling um stressed and full of self-hate what would my advice be what does it look like give me a hypothetical um someone is dating someone that they kind of know deep down doesn't

really like them but they're thinking okay well oh they've said i'm not looking for anything serious i don't essentially brackets i don't really like you but you're here yeah um and they're thinking okay well i can probably change that and i've said to them that i don't really want anything either but i know deep down i really like them and i do want them to be my boyfriend but i'm just going to keep seeing them in the hope that they change their mind which i think is one of the most common yeah fucking things yeah i'd fucking yeah i would be really boring and i would say just take some space away from this i would say just calm this just put this thing take it off the heat give it a rest just like just

distance yourself from this person take some space away and i would even say distance yourself from anyone else as well and just enjoy yourself and the relationships that you have for example with your friends with a podcast that you like to listen to who knows like you always maybe that's so boring and like not realistic but i just it's the most realistic if that's not realistic yeah just take some time live your own life just enjoy your own company unrealistic shakes head young girls liking themselves unrealistic unrealistic i think i i don't think there's any rush or pressure to be inserting yourself into dynamics with strangers that you that aren't serving you or aren't you know giving you some

sort of enjoyment or you just feel like you're acting out of service to yourself i think you should absolutely push yourself into new things and experiences and and follow things that you're excited about 100%. But there's nothing more important than your own sacred happiness, your own being. So true. And I do think at some point you'll have to step back and realise that if I'm not protecting my own happiness, what is the point of this existence? Like if you can't back yourself, I'm kind of in an inner child sense, like if you can't back yourself and kind of in an inner child sense like if you won't take a second and step back when you're looking someone in the eye you've just had sex with them and they say oh actually i just want something casual and you're

gonna feel your inner child for example in my case that inner young girl that young that little girl who spent that child who spent her whole life trying to be as good as possible trying to be loved and to be told in a sense you're not good enough for me i'm not really actually interested in you and you're gonna watch that happen and not defend her and not step in and say you know what i'm not interested in you either actually i deserve better if you can't do that yeah you will one day if you can't do that now it's fine don't be ashamed yeah but you will i don't even think you need to say also stunning by the way um but like you don't even need to be like yeah no you know what i'm not interested in you either i think you can honor and go oh well i actually really

like you oh my god of course of course it's like if it's not adding up if i really like you and you've just told me oh i think i want something casual can i say the fucked up thing as well because it's immediately the coolest thing you can do is to be so confident in yourself that someone says sorry i'm not really interested in something serious and you say oh well i actually really like you i think you're great so this probably isn't going to work because i'm interested in something serious with you. Yeah. First of all, amazing.

So confident in yourself, knowing and valuing your own needs and just being honest with yourself. Amazing. Dream girl status. Then also the fucked up thing is that I guarantee the majority of the time, the response to that,

at least internally, from the other person's point of view, will be, the response to that, at least internally, from the other person's point of view, will be, oh God, okay, maybe I do like her because that was really fucking hot when she said that. 100%. I guarantee a part of them is, you've hurt their ego now, you've shattered them,

and they're thinking, oh my God, you've shown them your worth because you can see it. But you said, I like you, and I'm willing to walk away anyway because I'm that good i like you but you're not fucking make or break me i deserve happy like hot it's so but it's you've shown them if they couldn't see the worth in you before they will now yeah and don't go saying that if you don't mean it as well don't just do it because it's a great line no it's like yeah it's a great line baby don't mean it and then you say if you

don't hear from me if you do just want something casual just have something casual i got that from my podcast that i listened to right okay that was fun that's really fun that was a nice just a little you know just a little something something a little bit of situation yeah just to hold us over honestly i could go all day on this topic it's fun isn't it let's go next time let's get everyone's personal experiences and we can um why don't we hop on in the ivory tower and look down on everyone it's kind of harry potter and the ivory yeah sephian wing in the ivory tower um that's quite stunning but i think it would be fun to you know i want everyone to know as well especially that person who actually has inspired

this whole episode by talking about their own situationship and saying is ended i want anyone who's in a situation similar to that and that person specifically to know that we over here are huge fans of you and you should 100 feel good in yourself be proud of yourself every day you just i can't you just deserve so much more than someone who's making you feel shit that's a fact 100 stunning let's leave it thank you for everyone supporting the merch it's sephianwing.co.uk look fantastic out there we also have a book club under days we have an under days code if you want that i think think it's just Seffian Wing. Best underwear ever. I don't know.

Yeah. I think I might be wearing it now. I'm wearing it right now. Oh, no, I'm not. I'm wearing like these fucking Sainsbury's. Oh, no, I'm not. I'm not wearing any underwear right now. Too much information.

Oh, my goodness. Well, I was wearing underwear. She's wearing pajama trousers with polar bears with scarves on. Pajama trousers? What would you call them? A pajama bottom. Yeah, I'd probably call them pajama bottoms as well. Ajama trouser. I'm wearing my pyjama tuxedo. A pyjama trouser suit. Yeah. Okay. If you don't hear from us, guys. Assume the worst. Stunning.

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