Goes Without Saying - social fatigue & bad friends: go girl give us nothing

Episode Date: February 19, 2024

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on social burnout, hibernation and isolation, fake and forced friendships. ✷shop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.ukhear more ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwingwatch more ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Here's a show that we recommend. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world.

The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It goes without saying you're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Sefi. And I'm Wing. And this is quite a sort of mad but also very nice episode.

I feel like we've been down many, many avenues. We're talking about social battery fatigue tiredness the feeling of when you come away from a social interaction you just think oh my god never let me leave this house again and if you're anything like us sometimes you can feel quite like guilty for that and i think this is the perfect episode for just like allowing yourself to feel knackered with love enjoy i was gonna be like take two sephian wing it's like we've never done that before sephian wing guys take two and go we did just restart because i was being weird but i made a

promise that i'm not going to be weird this time i don't think you were it's the classic get in your head situation i'm in my head. I'm still in it, but I can get out of it. Let's just, yeah, we can be in, we can be out. We can shake it all about. Okay, okay, okay. Social battery we're talking about today. Yeah, which I do need.

Yeah. I need this chat. I need honestly someone to sit me down and give me a good talking to. It's something that we always talk about. We're always like, are we weird that we can literally meet someone for like an hour for a coffee and then often text each other being like oh my god i'm so burnt out like i actually just can't do this and it's like you didn't do anything hard like are we weird to get so you did something nice nice things from nice things okay so there's a lot

going on here like it is complex because i think sometimes it's like okay immediately it's pointing to a large issue there it says a lot maybe about the relationship it says something about where you are mentally at that moment like as an individual it says a lot about like what we expect from people in dynamics in relationships what we expect from women to give there's a lot going on here we'll probably just skim the surface yeah i doubt we're going to unpack much of it but we can see what we can do see what we come up with um also we did ask on the instagram and i was just saying that it made me feel so much more normal just kind of skimming through your thoughts on that about this topic it looks like we all

agree we're all yeah we're all the. Yeah, we all come to the same agree. Just tired. Tired people. Tired girls right now. I think for me, I think it's because I get so much from my interactions and I feel like I put a lot of pressure on myself to give a lot in interactions. So it's almost like it's not their fault that I'm coming in. No. Putting all this pressure on and feeling like i need to give the most but it's my fault that then i come away feeling

absolutely knackered because it's like i've just been performing performing putting on a show taking care of you do you know i mean like i've just been giving a lot too much dare i say maybe i think i i was having this conversation i don't know who i was saying this to maybe my mum but i was saying like recently i've been saying yes to things that i don't want to do and kind of as i said it i was like oh my god that's really bad like i kind of thought it was like i was just kind of just doing all this stuff kind of trying to please everyone like someone says do you want to do this it's like yes I should probably do that I haven't seen them in a while yes I should probably do that and when I kind of said it out loud like I've been saying yes to

things that I don't want to do I'm someone that strongly believes in in not doing in consent pleasure fun women doing what they want to do that's just a strong belief that it's like if you don't want to do something in all contexts i don't necessarily think you should like opt into everything that you don't want to do basically and i was like that actually go that's probably why i feel so drained because it goes against like a very core belief that you shouldn't have to do things that are optional obviously there are certain things you have to do i don't want to do certain things you have to do but i was like that's why it feels so wrong to me i'm like giving too much to people that i don't want to give anything to that's when it's bad it's like it's one thing when it's like i'm a bit tired from like having a full-on couple of days

with a friend but it's another issue when it's like oh i've just given a lot of hours to someone who probably doesn't really respect me that much like we probably don't really and isn't value whatever like and and also i think this came came through quite strongly from the messages that people sent sephian wing our instagram um people were saying like oh sugar lumps i can't remember what i was gonna say sugar lumps people who don't value what you're doing you said yeah people are dumping on you that's what i was gonna say it kind of came through strongly the messages like people that are like using your meetup it's for you it's like uh you're meeting to go for a walk people using that as like brain dump like it's everything yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like you're their journal all of a

sudden you're the recycling bin you're the bin you're actually the bin you're the bin it's not they got ready this morning they thought right i'm gonna have a nice big clear out today but also i think we've all been there like i love um the room to vent and i love it when my friends feel the room saying but i think that's it let's caveat this whole thing the crux yeah it goes without saying it's an honor for someone to share their vulnerability with you and share they trust you with their feelings and their experiences and it's actually one of the most important crucial parts of our like human existence on this planet to have like a real deep sincere connection meaning of life that we love it's the

meaning of life yeah okay yeah that's not what we're discussing here no no we're not discussing i'm talking about the meaninglessness of life i'm talking about wasting your time and energy i'm talking about like just ending up being in a room that you didn't want to be in and then coming home being like i just need a bit of fucking peace and quiet bad feeling bad feeling that's bad when it's like i can't physically get enough away from you oh god yeah but i know it so well of like even and to be honest it can be people that i literally love it can be like friends family all of this stuff and it's like oh my god i actually need to go after talking to you i need to just need to go and sit in a dark room i need a second that's not a normal feeling but we together me and sethie often if you see us out in the wild you might find us in a dungeon always you'll always find us in a to be honest if you do find us in the real world it will be likely

in a dungeon we'll get it will be somewhere that sells food and hopefully the lighting is dim yes yeah 100 and it has to be yeah the right temperature in there i don't want too hot and we have to have the best seats in the house always but where we always end up in the best seats in the house we always end up in the best seats in the house because you kind of want to be like nicely tucked away in a nook but like in a nook but like you've got your eyes on everything eyes on the nearest exit both of us usually with the back to the wall yeah both of us are just assessing you know we're feeling comfortable we often sit at a table say there's a table of four

we will often not sit opposite each other but sit next to each other both facing out like we're on a bus or something kind of like old women yeah no generally viewing the room just making small judgments passing judgment with a kind of spread on the table we've got some cakes and we're just like surveying the room um you know what we do we really appreciate it we'll make multiple comments about this is nice isn't it that's kind of what the occasion is this is just lovely isn't it oh have you tried that oh it's just amazing we like to sit down and be like this is divine yeah divine it's always divine stunning and it's divine always always we sit down first line best seats in the house best seats in how could it not be sat next to you i'll get a water on the rocks

that's the best one on the rocks tap water on the rocks it's a great line it's a really great line but it doesn't land with really anyone else no because it's not it just isn't no one else really gets it when you put that in our taylor swift video as well we went to go and watch um the eras tour you can watch that somewhere on instagram um and i saw that you wrote tap water on the rocks on the rocks because i think that was when we first started saying yeah because we got two tap waters to go and watch the eras on the rock from the city oh it's so good so good um so that's a little bit of what you can expect from us if you were to hang out with us yeah and trust me that charges the social battery right up no it does and so i think there's something a bit different when it's like for example just behind

your back guys no offense but before we started recording sephi was like i think the main thing with coming away from a social interaction and being like i'm really drained from that is that it's pointing to like something unsaid definitely so that's why i think when we go to like a dark room or whatever yeah we go and like sit down and get a tea somewhere it's like there's nothing really unsaid like i we do it all the time we often look at each other and say i'm fucking knackered like i'm fucking tired have our heads on the table like heads down and we'll say like i say to you all the time sorry i'm not talking i'm just yeah yeah famously famously you'll say i'm not gonna talk to you until the food's arrived and then we'll both just kind of stare into space for a while

we can begin conversation again yeah yeah but it's i'm so sorry but i literally can't focus on anything other than watching every fucking waiter in here like i'm so sorry but and then maybe just saying the odd comment nice skirt i love her hair just the odd comment like that he looks a bit like um louis three just the odd things great company i am no no it's the best company we have just what we should do it's the routine it is the routine it is the routine but i think that's the biggest thing is like if you can't turn to someone and be like i'm so sorry but i'm gonna actually put myself on mute for 20 minutes. I mean, 20 minutes may be a bit of a stretch, but like, almost just like, I need to sit

down. Yeah. I think that's when I feel most drained. I don't want to feel suffocated or like claustrophobic. Oh no, that sounds awful. You know when it's like, oh fuck, get me the fuck out of here yes yes and my advice in that situation would be take yourself to the toilet always do warrior pose in the toilet i've done it many a time in recent um lock that cubicle door yeah take a sit down and just think

i can do this i can do this and if seph and win can do it i can do it yeah no that's lowest of the low we can do it really is but no that is that's the thing when it's like often i think it will happen when it's a build-up say you're spending like a couple days with someone or even like a couple hours say it's something that's happened that kind of annoyed you mildly potentially at the beginning something that just jarred you there was a disconnect on some level then the day just continues and continues and there'll be like a few more little things that just like slightly jar they misunderstand you you misunderstand them you're not compatible in certain areas which is

normal encouraged to be expected yes friendships relationships whatever yes in just being a human on this planet you're not gonna no one should agree with everything you say um and you shouldn't agree with everything everyone else says i think that's when it starts to build and then before you know it you're kind of trudging around thinking oh my god they're fucking annoying me everything they're doing is fucking infuriating me and they're probably thinking that's not good and that is the that's the feeling to me when it's like that's the worst of the worst because there are different issues here though i think yeah one of them is like okay there's some sort of conflict there's some sort of tension between this person that i'm with and for whatever reason this social event is not it's become difficult all of a sudden uh-huh and i'm kind of stuck here for the next

couple of hours and i'm annoyed with them actually and they're probably annoyed with me yeah there's a there's a mutual discomfort going on here 100 you're both begging to get away from it and phone the friend that will understand but that's the that's the fucking worst bit is when you think there's a mutual discomfort here but they're like should we go and get something to eat should we go and get something and they keep you know when you're oh you know when you're out i'm not trying to put you guys off going out anymore i don't want to leave the house ever again i literally came home the other day i just don't know no i think we are because i came home the other day and i had had the best time and i got back and my boyfriend said how was it and i said i am never leaving the house again yeah no i and i completely remind me to never leave the house again next time you see me trying to

leave remind me of this moment stop me stop me chain me to the fucking chair it's like a werewolf like i'm gonna tell you to set me free but have you taken your medicine tonight yes i'm gonna trust i'm gonna say crazy things but trust me you need to keep me chained i don't know how much i beg and plead honestly do not honestly and i will be begging and pleading yeah i'll try to trick you don't let me out but when it's bad it's bad but i don't want to put people off going outside but then i do think we're weird like i i think so this is just something i've learned from us we do take things too deep that's just a fact of us we take everything extremely maybe not too but we take things extremely deep and to some people we like to ponder we really do and i do think it is

to our detriment i really do well you said something to me the other day so this is quite ranty episode but no no let's do it the other day we haven't spoken in about a week no since before this is the last time you not properly last time we spoke so we're in depth yeah there was a situation where that we were in the other day in public out and about and you said something to me you almost said like do you think that was bad blah blah blah and i said to you i'm not entertaining this conversation really god i don't remember this yeah because i'm because i was like if we start mulling if we start we're gone if we start we're out we're toast and it's like if i if i entertain the thought then the thought becomes its own thing it's was that negative was that bad i actually was like i'm so sorry sephi because i would love to go down that

road with you more than anything and i've been down there many times before i'm stopping stop the car emergency stop stop stop the fucking car emergency stop because we can't go down that road i think it's a good decision and sometimes that does need to be made of like we could go down that avenue and i promise you we will be able to find some issues of things we did wrong and things that we didn't like blah blah but actually should we go down that or should we be normal people and go that was a nice day that was a nice day we had ice cream that was nice all of the delicious perfect yeah very odd decisions to make in life that we do okay so actually this leads me on to my next thing which i thought i haven't i mean i haven't really thought that much about it but there's a clip of taylor swift celebrating Travis Kelsey after he won the Super Bowl.

Kiss, etc. Something about her nails people didn't like. Oh, really? I saw something, someone saying Taylor Swift's nails look bad in that photo. Oh, fuck that. I know, and I remember thinking, like, they look really, like, I always have shit nails, but it's, like, really's like really like god new insecurity unlocked her nails look bad god she's also she looks so stunning is it where she's kissing him

she's been kissing him a bit so i don't know what you i saw also things where he was quite grossing me out where he was singing viva las vegas we are the champions yeah that that i thought that was quite hot it's like well he has just won the super bowl so i'll let him have it did he win okay yeah okay i don't mind it um but i didn't love it either i didn't think i didn't think hot when i saw that i mean i'll give it to him i love it for her love it for her i really do um she there was a clip of them celebrating and in it he he's saying to her so sweetly thank you so much for coming like halfway across the world like you're the best you're the best because she had just played in tokyo and then flies over to watch the superbowl crazy and he says you must be so tired like how are you not jet lagged and she says and you almost this is like in the crowd in the

celebration yeah and you almost kind of go she kind of in a way i'm like can you see her go to say like i am sort of thing yeah but she doesn't she says jet lag is a choice wow the most okay most taylor swift response i've ever seen to anything ever. Yeah, it's PR heavy. Jet lag is a choice. Jet lag is a choice. Just to your boyfriend, like, almost like I wanted to be here for you. I decided I'm not jet lag. Let's go. Like, crazy.

And I think that's the same thing with us being like, I'm about to start overthinking. Yes, it's a choice. Let's not. It's a fucking choice. And we choose wrong very often. All the time. Also, jet lag is a choice. I choose wrong on that occasion as well. I really time also jet lag is a choice i choose wrong on that occasion as well i really lean into jet lag in a big way totally and i'm sure she does

when she was like from amsterdam it's a one hour difference and i'm like i'm jet lagged like i have to wake up like an hour earlier than i usually like 20 minutes down the road um i'm sure she leans into the jet lag but i love that in that moment she like knew she it's almost like knowing how to make your own life easier as well like allowing yourself to enjoy things also she must i mean if anyone is familiar with jet lag it must be her she's going around all over the place it's like okay so you're gonna make your life she takes a private plane from the living room to the kitchen. I'm joking. What's that?

Have you not seen? No. The stuff about her flying on a private plane everywhere and like, oh my God, she's going to kill the planet sort of thing. Yeah, yeah. That's just that. Oh, is that it? Well, she is, but not just her. All of these people are.

No, not just her. Thoughts on this? I'm liking it so far. What about you? Same. You know, I'm having a great time. thoughts on this i'm liking it so far what about you same you know i'm having a great time wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh canadian dairy it's also refreshingly cheap just 99 cents

until july 14th it's a treat for you and your wallet acas powers the world's best podcasts here's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals.

Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson, and this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer, and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. Acast.com Oh, the first one that's come up.

Oh my god. I didn't see so much to say. One-sided conversations. Oh! That's literally the first one i've seen and jesus you are so right one-sided yeah go on oh sorry do you mind if i tell a little thing that i saw i would love for you to i saw a little thing this was a trope that i have kind of noticed um okay in my life and it's quite a new trope that i've noticed but i think it's a real cliche that is unspoken um so i was sitting in a cafe and i heard some i was just observing as i do i had my snacks laid out i was just observing the

room surveying against the wall love her dress yeah love love his t-shirt he looks like louis theroux as i do yeah he looks just like louis theroux yeah um there was two friends sitting next to me um and they were having a chat they had just come back from their first term at uni and okay one of them they'd both been away they just this is around christmas time they'll be back they were kind of clearly friends at school they were meeting up post uni one of them had stories to tell story after story after story the other one i think by the sounds of it also had a nice time at uni but i was really living through her and i was just kind of sort of observing it and she was not really being asked anything just kind of nodding along yeah yeah yeah and the other one was kind of doing all these stories you have to meet josh he is crazy like oh my god he's just crazy you

would love him you would love him oh my god and there was also this club that we go to oh my god it's the best club in the world you would love it you would oh my god it's just i would love it i would love it just not really she's going on not really saying anything just kind of um you know just almost basically insinuating this is my thing is the best and not really caring much to ask about anything that the other one had done yeah um and the other girl in fact had said that she was in an all girls house and it was in a mixed house of like boys and girls and she was like you're really gonna struggle finding um landlords that will accept you because I'm in all girls and like that's what landlords prefer like she was just kind of shitting on the girl a little bit

I thought okay yeah and it really made me think about that one-sided conversation where you realize oh my god I haven't been asked a question in fleabag an hour yeah and what do you do is that what he says yeah so what do you do oh my goodness that's everything i want that like you do i want to watch that really should we watch that but you said you didn't want to watch it and be too sad all of us strangers yeah i will watch it because i've actually had mixed reviews now i had one bad review and now i want to hear i know i've heard good reviews okay i do really want to watch it well shall we yeah i would love to yeah let's watch that um i also want to watch five nights at freddy's

you know we're definitely doing that but i also i'm scared double bill i'm scared not of the monsters but of of josh looking so good security i think he might look good because he's kind of he's older now brown hair as well brown hair not peter blondie and he's looking after his little sister i think whilst he's a security that's a nice dynamic oh my goodness i can't yeah um yeah that's bad when it's kind of um it's kind of decode johnson being like aren't you supposed to let people talk on this show yes that's not the truth alan it's like yes you almost it's like you don't i could say anything in response and you would just keep going like this isn't really a conversation i'm just a soundboard i'm just a receiver of your information right now yeah it's kind of painful

it was horrible to watch because i could almost i was projecting as always onto the girl but i was thinking like that's the sort of interaction that i would come home from and be like to my family i'm not seeing her again like i can't do that again the classic thing chain me to the chair remind me never to leave that house again yeah remind me yeah yeah an unpleasant experience having someone essentially i think also it stood out in that situation because they had both essentially lived through the same yeah thing they've both gone off and lived a term at university they probably come back with they've got so much to say and all the stuff also there's a whole thing of like some people have a great time some people don't have

such a great time some people are still finding their feet and it was basically watching this girl listen to her friend brag it was just a real like this is not nice awkward vibe one-sided conversation i think as well though like growing up i would like i sometimes it's easy to take that route like i find myself slipping into that often of being the soundboard and i do think i'm quite good at it like i'm definitely a good listener yeah and i also oh thanks i'm a great oh thank you so much i think i'm quite good at kind of in a libra way like not being fake but like i think i'm quite good at giving people what they need to like keep going you know when um maisie williams and that gorgeous thing that she did on stephen barlow she was like talking about her experience as a kid and she was like queen it's all about

being asked the right questions someone finally asked like the question oh my god i think i'm that person i think i'm that person for people i ask the right questions because also yeah i like i i don't want to push people but i like someone feeling like they have the room to give whatever they want to give to me because i'm here with open open heart open hands open mouth i'm ready to go like i'm here to receive whatever um you're steven and i i'm steven bartlett in that situation well but i feel like he's a bit of a pusher he he comes with um an agenda no he's got angles you know what yeah i actually don't i think i'm not stephen bartlett no you're not he's a question asker he's crying and then he's gonna take your

answer and use it as a headline clickbait he's gonna take a screenshot of you crying your eyes out yeah he's gonna underline it in red yeah but i think i'm really good like i sometimes like i've had people say to me often like i'm crying i'm sorry i'm crying with you or like blah blah blah like blah blah it's like you know it's not it's not by it's very much by design that you're crying with me because i know that you you have things to cry about you needed to do that and no one else is letting you do that for whatever reason and i do i love i really actually love more than anything receiving people's tears like shit and stuff yeah honestly vials take them take them i'll take them happily i love it i love it love it love it

i love it yeah no i get that i think that is definitely that actually fulfills me i don't come away from that feeling drained i come away feeling amazing which is interesting that is interesting yeah i love it yeah i like think you're an incredible listener actually you really um you do create space for like definitely like emotional moments as well like you really do facilitate an environment that is very um emotional god the tears start coming and they don't stop coming like i can't help it which is nice because i so in a sixth sense i'm like oh maybe i'm a fucking narcissist little savior girl who needs to feel don't go down the emergency stop okay fine but then maybe on the other hand it's like

no I think I just kind of in that Maisie Williams thing I I don't like that feeling when you're kind of looking around it's like why is no one caring why is no one helping why is no one totally can no one see that i'm like not in a good way like can someone care sort of thing and i just love love love honestly the honor of being in the company of someone who's feeling like they they just yeah they're open it's like oh god i love it so much like i i love it i really come away feeling like wow they really gave me something like it's a gift it's like huge it is a gift and also it is so vulnerable when someone cries in front of you it's like oh my god i'm gonna cry with you like it's a whole fucking thing like i know how um open i feel when i cry in front of someone so it's like yeah someone to do it back

it's like yeah no it truly is an honor yeah it is an honor what else makes you feel fulfilled in a social environment so like we've spoken about the decline of the social battery yeah that's a way that my social battery gets filled up is like when someone cries for me on a show as theirs drains the other grows stronger i suck all the tears from them and i live off of them ginny's ginny's nearly dead whatever it is and that's the diet the power of the diary grows like oh my goodness it literally is it's like no no i need your sadness fuels me yeah no i get it but i i really um yeah it makes me feel good when people share that what are some other ways that we come away from a social interaction feeling good i think there's a specific kind of conversation that fucking amps

me up and i i recognize when i'm in them and it's those and they happen often these are the environments that facilitate these sleepovers late nights and also the morning after a sleepover yes like it's when everyone is not in performance mode everyone is looking like haggard like everyone's in their comfiest clothes you've got snacks you maybe have just watched like three movies in a row you're a bit out of your mind those those environments are what facilitates these kind of combos i like or like maybe you've just eaten like a huge meal and you're feeling kind of sick like that sort of thing yum um conversations where it's possibly in a group like there's like probably like three or four people but could be anything um and everyone is almost like

it's sharing stories like it's like what's the scariest thing that's happened to you what's the spookiest like what's a weird synchronicity that's happened and people are like desperate to speak like you know when you see that thing you can kind of feel it like someone's talking telling their story and everyone is fully engaged but at the same time everyone else ready to come something on the tip of their tongues that happened to them i i literally feel like that in that sort of energy i don't even know what that is it's like a special frequency that only can be accessed at certain times because most convos can't go there yeah often i'll be like oh my god we're in it now this is it we're in the like the best convo oh those are those are

the ones that i'm like conversations everything thank god we're podcasters oh no honestly though yeah it's everything it is everything actually yeah it is everything and usually those are with women i think as well like just like a group of girls like really connecting on like i guess like anecdotal conversation that is yeah it's not um it's everyone like i guess it's like sharing stories but like in like quite short form i just honestly think that is so everything that hypes me to the next level it's because you're moving into a different space and it cuts through the shit like there's just something real there there's something authentic happening yeah and i think it's also really childlike like i think it's also not a coincidence that it's like

oh it happens like in the morning when you just wake up after a night out or whatever yeah it's like no that is it's a really like you get kind of giddy on it like yeah it's because it's like especially if it's a little bit scary it's very like heightened emotions like it kind of makes my eyes water a bit like it makes like yeah you get shivers like it's yeah i think it's childlike because in a sense it's like i as i've gotten older i've those conversations have dwindled then well this is what i mean by when we're in it i'm like we're in that moment yeah it's like the honor to be like in that environment where it's like oh my god and they've got a story now i've got a story like everyone's like a thing to say i love it and

it's so fast paced but almost like everyone was really engaged in each story as well it's not to be confused for somebody's talking and somebody's no about they're not listening they're about to jump in with their own thing and the bit where someone's like oh i need to go get in the shower and get ready and it's like no no you've ruined everything with your adulthood like you're just in that perfect bubble yeah it's such a bubble where it's like you're just really you're just fully enjoying each other's company. Yeah, yeah. I really get that as well, kind of in the only child thing of like, you know when you're in a really good conversation

or like you're having a really good, you're having a good time in company and then someone, like for whatever reason it changes or like the group changes, like someone's like, I'm going to go outside. Yeah, yeah. Or like, oh, I'm going to go and get a drink. And it's like, oh no, this bit was so perfect. Agreed. I was really living for this dynamic and now you've broken it and it's always um interrupted quite like a sort of real worldy thing of like i'm tired i need a wee you know what it was

it was when you had your first kiss with jamie lang and then his friend was like i'm gonna go out for a cigarette and they left you can't put it all on me and also i've been getting worried with how much we're speaking about this that it sounds like we actually did kiss jimmy he literally kissed us on the cheek like a greeting and we've it was a greeting it was a nice to meet you but we've made this like oh my god jamie lang i was like getting scared for his wife like hearing anything like what no no never never never never the one was like we're not insinuating anything he kissed us on the cheeks absolutely it meant so much it meant so much if you're interested i'll go for it absolutely in no way interested in jamie like we love you we love you we love you king king king but also i have seen some things you've done on main chelsea

that are questionable so questionable yeah but the wife is always the priority i've been thinking this recently yeah just well you guys know but a wife's not everything like you know how it's i don't even have a fan of the term wife but you know women everything you don't even have to see somebody's wife to know that they are better than the husband yeah divine yeah i don't even have to see your wife to know that you're punching like always it goes without saying yeah oh my god honestly every single one of these is so good like this is literally just the second thing i think this will be important for us to look back on yeah oh my god i think we can honestly i could do another episode on this because these are just literally like this is the second thing right next to that and it's and below

there are like hundreds so it's like there are so many amazing things we're missing just as fake laughing at work oh god ouch it's so good that kind of tore my soul out of it oh fake laughing i think i've given myself a headache just by thinking about it do you know what that's almost got two parts that that um thing at work work i think is its own social battery oh it's his own issue instant decline it's like um it's the equivalent of like you're playing streaming videos playing it out loud your batteries oh god it's not bluetooth's on it's it's bluetooth yeah no fake laughing worst feeling in the world you know do you ever get that feeling and i know you do i get it quite a lot and i get it a lot when i'm with you and when we're doing something it's not fake laughing but when i come in for example i come home from a day out and my cheeks hurt where

i've been smiling so much i remember actually in the pandemic like on zoom and stuff and like i would come off of the call and like get like headed and my cheeks would be killing me like being used haven't smiled in weeks i haven't smiled in weeks like it hurts yeah to be not let the resting bitch face out i think that was especially when we started having meetings on zoom like as in not me and you where it's resting bitch face the whole time oh the whole time yeah just like it's our real faces which are not permanently not happy upturned smile no not well-mannered not polite no it's just not in that sort of weird face but then when we started having like zoom meetings with people that fit that sort of

smiling kind of apples of the cheeks rosy cheeks sort of smile yeah and everything is just very polite and well-mannered and it's just um i was not used to having to sustain that face for like half an hour at a time yeah it's a lot i'm still not really but even in person you don't have to do that you can listen without you can like you're listening without being like a madman serial killer that's crazy like dead behind the eyes with a big smile listening to stats that i don't understand oh my god yeah my head hurts yeah me too i hope we're always there as the alternative when you're feeling a bit knackered from someone. It's okay if you're knackered of us.

That's okay. We come and go. Oh, it's absolutely fine. Yeah, I totally get it, to be honest. It's mutual. Yeah. I get it. Honestly, I get it.

Yeah. I do think a podcast is the ideal thing, actually, because when i was socially fatigued the other day i was like too tired to put in my life i was like right i can't like possibly speak to a human being but i'm weirdly my energy is like spiking because i've been like on for so long that it's like music doesn't feel like enough i just need to be kind of weirdly like it's like music doesn't feel like enough i just need to be kind of weirdly like chit-chatted at but by people that i don't hate on that note yeah let's go and if you don't hear from us assume the worst I'm going to go. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap.

Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet.