Goes Without Saying - THE BIG RESET #1: death of the flop era

Episode Date: January 20, 2025

podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on a HEALTHY RESET for 2025, building self-esteem and positive habits, self-care, fresh starts, and learning to let go of the pressure to be good enough. ✷shop DIRTEA with code 'GOESWITHOUTSAYING' at dirteaworld.com ✷see more ✷ youtube @sephyandwing ✷ instagram @sephyandwing ✷ tiktok @sephyandwingshop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

intro. can you? I could. I'm scared of them recently. okay. goes without saying. you're listening to goes without saying with sephi and wing. I'm wing. and I'm sephi. this is such a fun episode. we're off. 2025 starts with a bang and we're kicking off a lovely reset series. this is like gonna be a really nice gentle steering in the right direction. We're just kind of like gently shoving you off the edge of the cliff. Just hope you land somewhere nice. We're just talking about nice things, just gentle ways to encourage happiness in 2025. We want a fresh start, we want to feel good, we're prioritizing enjoying ourselves, enjoying our lives a little bit more. The flop era is over. High drinks for tea, let the fun commence, let the feast begin.

Whoa! Yum. We're so excited to say that this episode of Goes Without Saying is brought to you by our favorites, Dirty. Yay! We have been obsessed with Dirty for the longest time so I'm so glad we get to work with them on this episode. Definitely. Dirty is one of the UK's fastest growing functional mushroom brands. They specialise in mushroom based products like powders, gummies and blends all with a different function from brain, energy, beauty and immunity. You guys know we've always been so into romanticising our mornings, especially in the new year, and dirty is the best of the best.

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a bigger discount that you can use on all of our favourites and the code is GoToThouThing and it's in the episode description now. Now is the time to try it out, trust me it is the absolute best. Thank you so much, Dirty. Thanks, Dirty. Take one. Take one. 2025.

2025. Okay, feels good to be here. Whoa. It feels really amazing, actually. Yeah. Newly survived. I mean, this is the second ep of 2025. Kind of.

Some people have, oh, should we not address? Sorry. No, no, no, I think we can address. Okay. actually. yeah. new supply. i mean this is the second ep of 2025. kind of. some people have... oh should we not address? sorry. no no no i think we can address. okay okay. just briefly glaze over if you heard something from us that was nice wasn't it and now it's gone. yep okay. first ep of 2025. 2025. we've made some mistakes. it's a hill start. yeah yeah yeah we stalled. we stalled. we're finding the bite. but we're back. It's a hill start. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we stalled. We're finding the bite.

We're just creeping up that hill but we're back. I actually think great episode I think there was just we should maybe not have been speaking about something quite like we shouldn't have been speaking about that so soon maybe we should have taken some time to process. Zip it. And now we move on. We move on. And now we move on. We move on. Now we move on. I'm actually thinking, we haven't spoken about this, Sefi, but let's do the video for this episode from now, they're all going up. I have a fear that the move that we are trying to make, sorry guys, I don't know if you've noticed, but when you start listening to this podcast, like you start working with us, you immediately get enlisted in like the goings-on of what we're doing. I'm thinking if we move to Spotify We might not be available on Apple anymore. Oh

God why would that's why I'm thinking we did think about it Not enough, but they we haven't had an answer to the basically the guy we were speaking to at Spotify The curse of Sethian Wing left as soon as we started speaking to him, just quit his job. So, joking, he didn't quit his job, he had other things going on, whatever. It's bigger and better things, I'm sure. Anyway, so yeah, hopefully we're seeing a video, hopefully we're on Spotify, hopefully you're listening and hopefully you're well. Harry, I now speak directly to you. Harry, how are you? How's it going? I hope you're good.

Oh my god, Harry, I hope you're amazing. We actually just saw a really funny video the other day You sent this to me. How did you find it? I got tagged in it. Oh Well, I don't know. Maybe I got tied in it, but I'd never see these things It was so funny It was I've saved it to my camera roll. I keep watching. Yeah watching. Yeah, so good. It was basically Do you guys know the thing of like? Do you mind if I listen to some white noise before I go to sleep or whatever and it's like you know I don't mind and then it's like I had thought about us doing that for

Sephian Wing for ourselves at the time makes sense but to see other people doing it in relation to Sephian Wing is the most delightful way to start the year. They were saying like, do you mind if I make some Sephian Wing noises? Or like, sorry if I make some Sephian Wing noises when I sleep? And honestly the quote, it took me a moment to realise what was going on. Some of them I really had to be like, what is she saying? I really scrubbed slowly. Ozzie Dougal. That one was the one that I showed my boyfriend that bit I was like listen to this He was dying. He was like it sound he was I would literally think that was you I don't think these people So like you like that there was a voice that I was like we're gonna have to post this on our story or something

So you can see this you girl there was something that was so you and I was like is that have they? Copied wings voice that like it was crazy It was just like the cracks or something it was really yeah it's a sight to behold it made me feel really like really insecure weirdly in the like feeling like oh does anyone like us sort of thing and that made me think okay well I see two people who really like us. Which is really nice and I do also feel like we should probably say we've had a lot of really nice messages and DMs. Oh my god we've had so many. Because you guys know that we're self-managed now so like we're really taking it on. We're like really owning the Sefian Wing fight. For sure. and it just feels really nice to know that like people are like willing to

It's really nice like I've just come down with a case of the lucky girl syndrome. Genuinely. Oh show your top so I got this top actually for a not sponsored but kind of is sponsored but we're not being paid to say this no this is really cool though it says lucky fcuk lucky fuck so good they do also have it in red that says how would you feel about me copying it? no please do they have one in red that says live laugh fuck like live laugh fcuk in red. Oh, I sent that one back. That's cool Mmm, okay. Well, I might and you might be seeing me with please do Yeah, yeah, really a big fan of that because we're trying to embrace the energy of like I have good luck. Oh boy

Are we trying to embrace it? So it actually comes from my grandma before we hit record trying to embrace it. So it actually comes from Sefi's grandma. Before we hit record, who had a big thing about Lucky, like she'd always be like, she's an original Lucky girl, she would always be like, I've just been so lucky in my life, like I'm just so lucky. To like a weird level, like. You know.

Because you were saying like, she kind of, you've said before on the podcast that most things she would be like, this is just fine, this is just fine. Just loves mediocrity, loves safety, loves, big fan of mediocrity. And just big fan of like, playing it safe. So it's almost like she allowed the gratefulness to come out in like, a lucky. It's really like, antithetical to her. It's really sweet.

Like everything else that she believed. It's really nice. Just this whole thing about like, don't be exceptional, get through like kind of like. Just be okay. Yeah, nothing to write home about. Yeah, just like wear a big woolen warm coat and sensible shoes and just get through your life.

Like that was kind of what she wants. Just wrap up warm and just make it to death's door. And just get through and get a nice job and play badminton and meet a man at the badminton society. Did she say play badminton? Big time, big time. nice job and play badminton and meet a man at the badminton society. Did she say play badminton? Big time, big time. She was obsessed with badminton.

Not, not obsessed with playing it, obsessed with the idea of me playing it. Oh wow, okay, so I love that. Like so much. She had like a really weird thing. I think she once. You shouldn't get back on the courts, I think. I think she must. That is what she would have wanted.

Have fancied someone once that played badminton. 100%! she had this weird idea that like there'd be like men there. it's kind of challenges but it's like weird alternate universe of challenges. yeah, genuinely. but then so the lucky thing is just so cool from her. it's really nice. just obsessed with her luck and like my luck which i love. i love that. i love that for you as well and I said before we start recording I'm just gonna pinch a piece of that luck if you don't mind so now I'm embracing, I literally thought when I got this t-shirt I was thinking about yeah luck, I was thinking about your grandma as I do, as I do often think about that so you know here we go

starts 2025 also I wanted to talk about in our our last episode, I think, of 2024, like one of the last ones, back in Podmas, if anyone remembers that, I could tie. Oh my God, why does that feel like two centuries ago? A hundred lifelines ago. Are you joking, Podmas? We were talking about the word for 2025 that we wanted, and loads of people wrote in their words.

So I feel like we should maybe say some of them, because I feel like it sets the tone for this app. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Okay. Feels good. I loved that, seeing what people had said. Me too. They were quite inspiring. Yeah. Might even say I copied some of them because I was looking for a word but you know. Have you settled on a word? I thought I did but I haven't written it down anywhere now I've forgotten. The only problem is I can't remember what I've forgotten. Okay top one that I'm seeing is intentional. Somebody's word is intentional. That's a good one and I feel like as well it's kind of the tone of

this app of being like none of this mess matters. I think we need to take that on board. Yeah just what's the intention here? Yeah we really matters. I think we need to take that on board. Yeah, just, what's the intention here? Yeah, we really do. Like, I think that, without getting too much into it, we could have done with that last week. Just for that episode. The intention, you know, sometimes your intention is to just make a big mess. What are we going into this? What are you going into this? Like, why are you spilling these beans? Just to caveat, like, the crux here, we never want to upset anybody.

That's the entire crux. i'm pretty devastated. it's fine. it's okay. it's fine. um okay thrive. 2020 thrive i'm seeing. enrichment. that's a nice one. whoa that's really nice. aligned. embodied. very good. oh i might take that. i want to be embodied. yeah me too. it's almost like yeah i'm just a little floating soul around this world right now. i'm just trying to find a body. what's it called? spooky island. you know when they're just the souls. oh my god floating around. i need to find a body. yeah i like that. rejuvenate is a nice one. yeah. this is an interesting one. this is a crazy one. i know this name. we know this name. we've spoken many a time directly on the pod.

my word is calibre. i'm remembering that i am a woman of calibre and working on building that calibre. okay. goodness me. Best in show. Okay. You've really got the dictionary out for these. You won, calibre. Whoa. Just really good vibes, I feel like as well. Oh, so this is a series.

Oh yeah, welcome to a series. Welcome to a series of three or four, we'll see where we go. Yeah. But the whole tone of this, I feel like, is not to be like we're resetting and we're gonna hate ourselves into something new and just like,

oh, oh, oh, bad vibes, bad vibes. It's actually just like, okay, how can we enjoy our lives a bit more and enjoy ourselves in our lives a bit more? That would be so nice. And I feel like enjoying myself, not just enjoying myself like I'm having a good time, but like I'm enjoying myself, I'm enjoying who I am but like I'm enjoying myself I'm enjoying who I am. Yeah being myself. I'm enjoying being myself. Yeah, whoa. It's kind of feels a little bit out of reach, Hagrid! But that's what I'm aiming for.

Enjoying myself in my life. If there's a one word for that would be nice if anyone could just shout it out. Because that's the word. I think that kind of is embodied. Do you think? But there's obviously like a body focus to it, but I think it's like feeling quite like at home and at peace and like always connected to yourself. Yes, that's what I want is to just feel like ownership

of who I am. Agreed. And like kind of autonomy. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like feeling like, and feeling also, this is maybe a bit of a bratty one, but like entitled. I want to feel entitled.

Like I want to feel like I am entitled. Yeah. I am deserving, I am entitled. That's mine, thank you very much, snatch. We were actually just talking about this just before we started recording. God, we talked about so much. We did actually, we got a lot in there. We were actually just talking about this just before we started recording. God, we're talking about so much. We did actually, we got a lot in there. We really did. Yeah. But we're talking about like the idea of some people that just like know what they, they basically can just like get

what they want. Like they- They own it. They have an outrageous idea and they just do it and like it's not just an idea that like floats around in their brain. Like maybe one day I'll do this thing. It's like oh wait you wanted to do that thing and now you are on the path to fucking doing that. And you didn't wait to be exceptional at it. You didn't even wait for a second. You didn't wait to feel confident or feel comfortable in it.

You just tried it out right now. No hesitation. That's an idea I had and I'm doing it now. Just try it. What about this afternoon, not doing anything else? Yeah, literally. It's crazy. It's so cool, but like It's crazy. A good point

of reference we had for that was Flex, who we speak about all the time. Bobo and Flex, RIP the pod. So good. And Flex, this isn't necessarily true and we're really butchering her life story, but she basically, we got from something somewhere that she had said she just decided to be a DJ and then the next day- She just started calling herself a DJ. She just lived next day. She just started calling herself a DJ. She just lived as a DJ. People started asking her to DJ and then she was a DJ. And it's like, okay, the ownership,

I was talking about Lucy Moon saying, like about she wants to do music and like she wants to release demos and all of this stuff. The ownership of like, not waiting around for someone to give me permission. I'm just telling you, I have this desire within me and I'm not embarrassed. I'm just gonna own it and I'm just gonna do it and I deserve to be able to do that

But I think we took that right into our souls essentially because we heard the flex thing of like I just started calling myself a DJ and then Before you know it you actually are a DJ everything flex says you take right into your soul. You can't not like She is embodied powerful Queen queen queen queen Queen I love us that is not you know I feel like she'd be like don't put me on a pedestal that is God to hear you late too late yeah I worship at the old I kiss you don't put me on a pedestal. She is. You have been on the pedestal for years. Everything she says is like scripture but anyway. But we took that on board for sure. I feel like

that was one of the things that um I mean we credit the whole existence of this to Bobo and Flex in so many ways but like I do think hearing that of being like you can just call yourself a thing and start doing it. I wouldn't just say start calling yourself thing and yourself something Just let it be. It's just kind of annoying. Yeah, but like maybe if you are actually doing that thing. I'm a chef Haven't cooked in a while. Put your money where your mouth is. Yeah, it's annoying Like and also there's just like a fake confidence in that but maybe if you need that I'm not even opposed But like we definitely were calling ourselves podcasters or being like we have a podcast This is a thing that we do. We try to actually doing this thing

Yeah after week and before you know it wait That is actually like an applicable title to us. Like if I call you a podcaster, I'm not even there's not I'm not even joking I'm not even fucking around anymore That is actually and maybe that isn't like a title that means anything to anyone but like that's something that we did not feel entitled to call ourselves for years. No, 100%. I feel like feeling allowed, giving yourself permission, god dare I say nobody's coming Harry. No body. No one's coming around to like be like oh my god you there. Do you have an idea? Do you have a thing? Do you have a

desire to do something to experience something in your life? Okay great I give you permission I welcome that. No one really is saying that. You have to say it. But it's not gonna be easy trust me it's gonna be really embarrassing like it's really it's like not cool to be like, I think I wanna do this thing. It's not cool to be starting. But in a way it's the coolest thing ever. It's the most important thing.

It's just the hardest thing. Cause otherwise, literally we've said this before, but what else do you have? It's more embarrassing. To me, I'd be really, not even embarrassed, I would feel a deep sense of shame. A shame that I felt times before in my life where I reflect and think I didn't do that because I was embarrassed. And now I'm more than embarrassed, I'm so sad and ashamed that I let that die.

Do you know what I mean? But you know when you just, you know, it's hard to, that's harder to accept that like, oh I didn like oh I didn't I didn't try that. Yeah because is that like regret? It's regret. Which is probably one of the worst emotions out there. It's a sadness for yourself of just like I didn't try that and I feel like probably should have and then pushing it even further and being like and I deserved to and something else I feel like I always say is like you deserve to do things badly like you're deserve to do things badly. Like, you're allowed to do things and it will not be good. You definitely will.

You will. And I look forward to it. Well, that's the main thing that is stopping people, this idea that it has to be good, immediately. Yeah, it doesn't have to be good. It's not going to be. Like, in a really real way, it is probably gonna suck. Like, the first things you do.

It's kind of more powerful if it is probably gonna suck. Like the first things you do. Especially like- It's kind of more powerful if it is shit. It just will be. Like nobody starts the first thing it being good. Nothing worthwhile was ever good first time around. And also, who is to say? I'm not the judge of the best. Me, I'm gonna tell you that what you do first

will probably suck. No, but like, yeah. But also, you might see someone's thing and be like, I'm so glad I've seen that. I'm first will probably suck. No but like yeah but also you might see someone's thing and be like I'm so glad I've seen that I'm so glad this exists like yeah for example you see someone playing badminton you think wow I'm so glad that that means something to me I'm happy you did that or you start a podcast it's like well thank god for that maybe wasn't so great at the beginning but I'm glad it exists. totally. mmm. also you're finding your feet with this stuff like it's not your identity at that point like you're very much trying

something which is so cool. it is very needed actually. yeah well without that there's nothing. there's nothing. there's nothing. There's a void. Yeah. Okay. So either live in a void or do something. Or still live in a void but like try and enjoy it. Yeah. Okay that's nice. 2025 off to a great start. Off to a great, it does feel like a hill start. With a bit of an emergency stop. And then keep going. We're cruising now. We're close to do down. We made it on the motorway, M25. Yeah. Can you hear that I'm still a little bit ill? I've heard you coughing recently.

I haven't wanted to bring it up. Thanks. Just because I know that you said I don't like it. So I thought, let me... What do I not like? I don't know, I don't have to ask being told that I've caused Well, you said before I don't want that cough to go on forever. So I thought I'm not gonna draw attention to it When you cough I just think

Because I don't want to make you feel like oh, you yeah no it's not even the cough like oh it's just it's not nice get me out of it yeah it's not good although the illnesses they come and they go you know they do they do and we've been through it and it is also like yeah anyway we've been through it we've been through the illness talk because Dobby the barrier you know the shit. Yeah. Let me just look at that thing I sent you and see if there's anything in there. I'm gonna say.

Accepting failure, reclaim, let go of pressure, yeah. Good vibes. Yes. Speaking of things getting off to a good start, did we all hear that Dirty ad? That was nice, wasn't it? That was nice. I will say actually Dirty as a brand have been very very nice to us so everybody say thank you Mrs. Dirty. Thank

you Dirty. Specifically we were talking to someone called Evie at Dirty who's been really nice and it means a lot to us so thank you. I do feel a good, I feel like I'm trying to find the balance of, I'm seeing a lot of people be like, oh, it's the new year chat is making me feel like I'm not doing enough. Okay, yeah. And I feel like the relationship between how I feel about not doing enough

and my output and what I actually end up doing, they're kind of connected in a way that I wouldn't expect Or like I almost don't draw enough attention to the fact that when I feel like I'm not doing enough I end up doing less because I feel bad about myself Nothing is going to kill a nice thing like some pressure Right and then I apply a little bit of horrible pressure and shame to it. Literally as soon as I take the pressure off I'm like Oh, I can do it. Grandpa joe spring out of bed i feel amazing. i'm down to the chocolate factory i feel incredible. oh that sounds good. i'm right as rain. literally spring out of bed,

spring chicken. i'm ready to go up the wazoo. and i feel like it is a bit of a kind of magic hack of like as soon as you take the pressure off It's as simple as that turn it off and on again. Everything becomes easier, but it kind of is like Give yourself a little bit of space 30 seconds of deep breaths and all of a sudden everything's like, oh, maybe it wasn't the end of the world Genuinely, I sometimes have that I don't know if that's gonna, this is kind of it. But I sometimes have it. I know you get this. Where you cannot sort of get comfortable in your space. It's like, oh I need to like wash all my clothes. Oh I need to like wash my hair. Do my makeup. I need to like put all those books away that are

over there and like maybe do that and dust that and hoover that. Blah blah blah. And sometimes it's like, wait I've done all of this stuff and actually what I needed to do over there and like maybe do that and dust that and hoover that blah blah blah. And sometimes it's like wait I've done all of this stuff and actually what I needed to do was just like sit in my messy room in all the dirty whatevers just sit there for a second and actually be like oh the problem was me. What was me? And actually maybe the problem was like I forgot I was like an animal that needed oxygen. Genuinely.

I don't want to spend the first episode of 2025 talking about like, guys remember to breathe, remember to drink water. But I personally need someone to sit me down and be like, when was the last time you like, consciously took a breath? Took a breath. Because then, I hate to say it, but then you end up, you take these breaths and you're like, oh. I just needed to do that. Oh god, it's embarrassing actually to be like, oh I just was starved of oxygen. Oh I just like needed a second to breathe. Yeah. Or like I hadn't even processed the annoying thing that someone said to me two hours ago

and now I'd be like hoovering my whole house or like going to a big shop and like doing all this stuff because I need to just be really good or whatever. I just need to like get back to myself. Things need to be in order. But actually it's like, no way. Just pause. This is all about that fucking thing. Yeah.

That someone said two hours ago that I haven't even like, genuinely has been like living in the back of my mind throughout all of this stuff. I feel like that is like, kind of the feeling of like being completely disconnected to yourself. Like not embodied. Low caliber.

Disembodied. Like terrible. That's why I'm gonna start actually, I've been thinking about this, I am gonna start morning pages again. Really? Because I really at the moment I am not having many many like conscious thoughts I'm very much being run. I very much understand. Yeah I'm very much being run by... Baby Cousin has taken over the Sims controller.

Genuinely I'm being run by events. And Sim is running wild. My autonomy here. Yeah. Which is very fun and it means... My shoe now. I need it. So so. That autonomy here. Yep. Which is very fun. And it means that- My shoe now. I need a- SOSO! That's how I feel. Yeah. So I think I need to start like getting up a bit earlier and like taking some time to be like, how do I feel here? And like getting like the gunk of my brain out in the morning before I like start with going about my day. That's just a thing I should be doing. I agree with you. This was a thing that I was like, morning before I like start with going about my day. So just a thing I should do. I agree with you.

This was a thing that I was like, I'm gonna go into 2025 trying gently to meditate every day and yeah, take a second in the morning. So like in the mornings, it's meditation time. I feel like such an asshole. And it's like, yeah, writing things out. I also, okay, so I spoke like briefly before, I'm sure I said it, I'm sure I've made this known

at some point that like I would go through phases of finding, I would use, not intentionally, but I would use journaling to make myself feel worse when I was like, when I was feeling really, really bad mentally, not like in a uh way, but like in a uh way. In like a uh, that's concerned. In a concerning way.

In a concerning way. Everyone is concerned, everyone's on the edge of their seat. I'll put my hand up as someone concerned, one of the concerned party. Concerned. I wanted to say concerned ape, and then I was like, I'm taking it too far. No but even if that's just a joke for me I love it. That's just for you. That's by the

way the creator of Stardew Valley. Does Stardew Valley mean anything to you guys? Yeah. So yeah I would use journaling to make myself feel worse. I would feel really terrible and then I'd be like oh let me just write all of this down and it would be pages of me essentially being like really horrible stuff being like I'm you know life isn't worth living. No that's not. Pages and pages. I have actually not said this but something I have put thought into gently, very loose kind of way like we're just gently steering 2025, gently steering Erin Emerali is a nice person into this kind of direction of something I'm trying to do is have a journal that I'm calling my best case scenario journal. That's fun.

And everything in it is best case scenario. So that would be like visualising nice things. Only the best things. So like in the morning I'll be like, the best things that are gonna happen today is like, I'm gonna go out and it's all gonna go well. Like I've got lucky girl syndrome, I'm Sefi's grandma, like everyone's on good form.

I'm feeling great, this happens. I go out and this happens and then I do this and it goes amazing. So you're doing that. And it goes really well. Not in hindsight of like, these are the best things that have happened. You're doing like.

No, I'll do a bit of both. Like visualizing. But the idea is like, yeah, before the day, Not in hindsight of like these are the best things that have happened you're doing like no I'll do a bit of both Visualizing but the idea is like yeah before the day like in the morning. It's like My intention is best case scenario and like I've set a bit of a kind of red line of like only Positive happy nice loving sweet things are going in that journal specifically. And if I've got anything crazy or horrible to say, which I do, that can go elsewhere. We find another home for that. But like this is going to be a purely hopeful, nice, life is worth living kind of zone. I feel like that's something that I personally do not dedicate like any time to.

Like I very much write down things that have happened, things I'm thinking about, like worries, concerns, just like the meandering of the mind. Which I think is important. You know, just all the stuff. I don't dedicate any time, like I reflect a lot on the good things that have happened. I never ever ever visualise future good things, ever. Well I think as well, I don't know about you guys, but personally, I'm trying to strengthen the muscle of happiness, I'm trying to get some more serotonin going, yeah, hopefulness, yeah, the will to go on, if you will.

That would be nice. I'm trying to find some perseverance here, to find some happiness. And that is something that you can get better at, as well as all of the other shit that is like, oh, making life hard, whatever, and like all of the chemical shit going on. Also, I need to get better at like, just rewiring some things and like getting in the habit of like I'm good at waking up and thinking good things are happening. That's nice. That's something to look forward to sort of thing It's really I don't know it is really essential but in a loose way like there have been multiple days this year where I haven't Done that and it's whatever. It's totally like also I can't every day go Yeah, look, I'm not attached to any like

I have to do this every day. Like you know you can have hobbies that are very casual and like yeah and also like that's how you build a routine by not being super strict and horrific about it. And like if all of this is coming from a place of I want to be happy in myself and enjoy myself. If all of this is striving towards like, I want to be happy and like myself, then the way to practise that is by being like, okay, when I don't do something, that's also okay. 100%. Like it's not like, oh, I've got these-

What's the alternative? Suddenly these nice things aren't so nice anymore. Also, I'll never do it. The day I fuck up, I'm so riddled with guilt and shame that I'll never do it again. Yeah, yeah. Like, the whole point of... Is that it's nice.

You should read Atomic Habits, guys, if you have any questioning about that, because one of the whole things is make it nice. Like, make it easy and make it satisfying. Like, don't do something, create something that feels horrible and expect yourself to do it every day. Yeah. Why would you do that?

i feel like as well, we're all very unique and like i feel like i'm still figuring out the things that i enjoy rather than the things that i've been told to enjoy. totally. yeah. and i feel like that's just the fun of life. do you know what- just letting yourself figure it out. No, 100%. Cause I think that is part of my shock

with enjoying running. Yes. Of I've always been like, that's not for me. And like being very kind of strict about like exercise, it's not for me. Morning person, she doesn't like catch up, et cetera. Exactly. I've just like, I don't,

I'm not in a position to be someone that exercises because I have kind of dangerous habits around that. Like I know I'll take it to an extreme level, like that I don't think is something that I can do. But I've been really enjoying over the last year being like, oh, that is something I can enjoy like in moderation and that is something that I'm allowed to try and see how it feels. And it actually like weirdly does make me feel good like it does feel nice to but this is the thing about like breathing and stuff. be healthy with something and not take it to a horrible level like that is

is it weird that exercise moving your body makes you feel good like yes it is actually to me. It completely is because my relationship with that was punishment, pain, starvation. Yes I am actually surprised that I am doing it in a nice, moderate, kind, loving way. But that's the thing is, it's going to feel, the science behind movement, that's going to make you feel good and then all of the other stuff is figuring out. Yeah, of course. That's like a try. The science of movement is the lowest thing in my relationship to exercise. Like what it actually is, it has been completely, that has been completely taken away by like years and years of using it as a, just like the relationship to exercise

is completely, our society has a completely fucked idea of it. Like it is completely taken, like it is not, it's not what it says on the tin. It is not what we sell it as not it's not what it says on the tin it's not what we sell it as it's not a healthy nice thing in our society it is this way to like punish yourself it's like a way to it's all about the body it's all about looks it's all this stuff so sick taken is something that is so nice and it genuinely has been a revelation to me to be like I like this thing that I have been scared of and has been like rammed down my throat as like a teenager in this quite horrendous way and actually like rediscovering something so simple like that. So simple. But I also think it's important, I feel like you've done the right thing of like, having the fear there is not pleasant, but it is important to have the awareness of like,

how much of this can I invite into my life and like keep it intentional, keep an eye on it. Don't rush it and like be honest about how you're feeling in it. I feel like this something I've, it's kind of like what you just said about like what people say about exercise is not reflective of what exercise actually could be. Totally and there's a lot of

delusion in there. And like dishonesty. And being more being like I'm doing this to get to feel better it's like you're like you're lying to yourself. And a lot of these nice things it's like if I was getting up every day and writing best-case scenario in my journal just so I could come on a podcast And be like I did a thing called best. Yeah, I mean it just immediately undermines what we're doing I feel like the What we're striving for is like Something genuine doing something. Yeah, seriously because you're enjoying it and because you enjoy. Like you're entitled to go running. Crazy. Lovely. Not, not. Beautiful. That to me actually

isn't, does not go without saying. Like that is actually a nice, um, two years ago I would say she is not ready. I kind of agree with you in, in the thing of like, or like I have a similar thing with, remember I was saying about like washing my face, like skincare and stuff. We'll talk about this I'm sure, like we've got a whole series coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's on your Facebook? Come on, big time. God, we're just throwing everything. Take care of yourselves, guys. We're throwing a lot of shit at the walls. See what sticks. We're throwing a lot out here today. But like the idea of like oh I am like deserving of

Nice things like looking after my skin washing my face But like I wouldn't go for a run but like going for a run whatever you yeah What that you want whatever you want to go for a run one day never do it again like yeah doesn't matter Like but like so much identity bullshit Taking care of yourself as a as a animal almost yeah love matter. Like so much of this shit is identity bullshit. But like, specifically, taking care of yourself as an animal, almost? Yeah, love. Is really important. Like the things that you need, air, food, moving around, stretching around, running around, jumping around, whatever. This is like fulfilling to who- I actually cannot stomach myself in this episode.

No, same. Animal jumping around. No, it's so true though. But it, I didn't do this. I didn't make this life. I just have to comment on it. And it's looking to me, forgive me, but it's looking to me a lot like,

we're just animals and we've forgotten to do the stuff that actually makes us feel good and actually keeps us happy as animals. And also doing it as a, getting more wrapped up in the performance of doing the good action than actually how it feels to be doing the good action. Like jumping around and, or like, for example, like running, whatever, we're gonna use that as a thing.

So much of it has been made into like running a 10k or getting it doing training for your half marathon which yes look I'm these things are great goals or whatever but I do think we get so detached from like what the actual feeling of being the animal jumping around and why that is actually making you feel good rather than meeting the, being somebody that has done this thing or that does do this thing. It's so much, something that takes away from so much of the joy of doing the thing for me

is when it becomes, the joy of doing the thing gets mistaken for the feeling of identity that I would get for being able to do the thing. When that identity becomes destructive, I think, because it's almost like you could use that up to a point, be like, oh my God, I'm someone who like wakes up early in the morning and goes for a run. And enjoys doing this thing. And I love it.

Maybe I am kind of a superior human. Maybe I am a big fucking deal around here. Like, whoa, I'm kind of like a good person. That's so stunning. That's amazing. Until it's whoa, I'm kind of like that's so stunning. That's amazing. That's like Can't cope I can't live like this and It actually Strips it obvious

Like original thing that you it's a dangerous Slippery slope. It's a dangerous road to go down when we lose sight of why we're doing things. Especially when you're being naive to the society that you live in. That like there are certain things pushing certain agendas on you anyway. Like you can't be talking about running without the awareness of all the stuff that you've consumed throughout your life about bodies, about exercise, about food. You can't, it would be very naive I think to be... It's not an isolated thing. It's completely not. It's completely attached to everything. It's all woven into one big fucking mess. And it's why it's kind of the importance of being like, and when I don't journal some days...

That's fine. Nothing to write home about. It just is what it is is and when you don't run some days, that's okay It's like I think that's when it starts feeling like oh am I only Good enough when I have done these things all of these conditions that I have to and that's when it's remember to breathe That's when it's like it's not about any of this shit It's not about all of this stuff that you have to do to feel okay or feel like yourself. Hmm Turns out is all below that anyway. Just take a breath. Goodness chef's kiss as a human is not conditional You are actually look. I don't want to be the one to say it, but I'm perfect. I can only speak for myself here

You're doing great it's not conditional you're not. Like, look, you're doing great. It's not conditional. You're not like... And I don't say that lightly. No, no. Heed my words. Heed them. Heed them, guys. Heed them. Should we just do like a little bit of extra? You know what would be nice? I need to go and do my line in a bit though.

It's 30 for seven. Can we go to 45, do you think? Yeah, I need to be there at 12 at the shoot. How long does it take to get there? I don't know where the address is. I think it's like five minutes. Okay. Ten minutes maybe. Yeah, let's do some more.

I'm enjoying it. I would like to get it past 40 minutes. I have a line in the short film. Which is, what is it? We've been rehearsing it together. It is, well. What is it? I've forgotten it. I have two, so I did one yesterday.

I think they've noticed us. Mine was, fuck, I think they've noticed us mine was fuck i think they've noticed us was the first line and the line today oh god i've actually cut this he said that i'm panting i'm running up panting and i say i think this is it guys but that's been cut so i said i'm not panting and the line is now um i don't think i can do this but you keep adding i was like you're really making it your own by everything, every line she has she puts guys in it. It's a really like, guys I think they've noticed us. Guys?

Because they said say it how you'd say it and it's like guys. I'd put guys in front of it. It's like stop saying guys. That's how I'd say it, I'd put guys in front of it. Guys. So yeah so I've got my big line in a bit. Okay well I won't keep you. No no no no.

I thought it might be nice to do a little. Okay. Well, I won't keep you To do a little bread for the table conference, please Yeah, I don't like look I can be a bit late. The show will wait for me. It really was the star of the show It really won't Okay Oh my god, sorry, can I just quickly say someone winked at me this morning. Eww. No a girl, a girl. Oh thank god, okay.

Love it. I kind of did the thing of Harry taking a gulp of his thing and being like. Spilling it out. I looked up, I was crossing the road. A girl winked, right? Was it Cynthia Erivo in Wicked when she does the little wink? I haven't seen it still, I haven't seen Wicked yet. I saw it the other day but we watched it with like Spanish subtype subtitles it was really like not the optimum viewing experience. Were you streaming it?

It was like pirated. Yeah. I was not involved in that. I was not involved in the acquisition of that film. Me either. Allegedly I never do things like that. Never, never ever. Yeah, I was walking down the street. That's crazy. It made me feel good. In what way? Okay, so I did think, do you know me? Or are you just giving out the vibes? Okay, so coming past, just picture kind of Bridget Bardot,

most beautiful guy you've ever seen on a bike. Whoa. Oh god. I'm getting a bit... and I'm about to cross like zebra crossing and I think she kind of saw in my face that I was kind of umming and ah-ing of like are they gonna stop for me? I'll go. Are they gonna stop for me? I'll go. Because I believe I Mean, I haven't really thought about it consciously in about 15 years But when you're crossing a zebra crossing everybody stops for you. Yeah as the pedestrian if I'm driving Someone's coming up zebra crossing. I'll stop. Yeah, that's the law. That's the law. That's the literally the highway Highway code and I was abiding by it Yeah

So I'm walking I she could probably see like, are you gonna stop for me, whatever. And as I go to look on the other side as I'm crossing, here she comes, there's a big bus behind her. Oh God. And here she is on her bike. And as she's approaching, I kind of gave her, I was like, yeah, go on, you go.

And she went like, wink. Whoa, okay, so she's the haunted person alive. And I was like, yeah, go on, you go. And she went like, wink. Whoa, okay, so she's the hottest person alive. And I kind of looked back and I was like, who me? Huh? That is really looked behind you, kind of like, that couldn't have been a me. Whoa, okay, so she's absolutely divine. And then she went on her way and I was like,

here I am, still thinking about it hours later. Whoa, that's really cool, maybe I'll start winking at people. It was really like. It's not gonna come out well. It was such a It was like I was ever really stopped the car emergency stop you just winked I don't think anyone's ever winked at me. Well, if you know, I mean that every wink I've ever received I haven't liked I Feel like never seen a good wing. I was just about to say I feel like uncles would wink at me when I was a child

It's horrible different when I'm like an adult. I haven't really processed that. But yeah I feel like as a little girl adult men would wink at me. Yeah yeah because it's cheeky. It's cheeky. It's like hello you're having fun here aren't we? That's all about it. Yeah but I don't think I've ever liked it.

Well I liked this one today. It felt very good. Yeah so I'm impressed that she's really pulled it off. so much and then she was just gliding away like god on a bike. woah. god is just a girl with a backwards baseball cap on a skateboard. on a skateboard. top felson. crazy. okay compliments to the chef. compliment to the chef. my compliment to you today little bit of bread for the table is just so far. I've had so much fun today. So have I.

It's been really nice. I feel like I've been really laughing since we got on the call this morning. Yeah, yeah, me too. And it's an honor and a pleasure. Yeah, to have the combo and also to be able to share it with everybody feels really nice. Oh, I want to give the same bread back.

Like it's just- We've had a good time. It's been so nice. Also, like I was just saying again, before we started recording, I was like, please can you come here in February? Yes. Like, please, please, please. I would love it so much.

Yeah. Like I- I would as well. And I am grateful to have someone that like I want to like be around like I need your eyes on things like I need you to see things I need you to like. She does. No that's cut, that's actually cut. Oh my god okay okay. No no that can't. Whoa. Cause that's like I would die. Okay fuck.. Fuck. I would die. Okay. So now we're back to serious. All right.

Yeah, compliments. Yeah, and I just like need your eyes on things and I need you, I like, I just feel grateful to have someone who's like, genuinely who's like opinion is so valuable and like so great. That I just feel lucky to get my ears on it sometimes. Get my ears on it?

Ears, yeah, Jesus. my swindon's coming out. My main cause for you is yesterday we had such a horrible thing, not between us but just like ee. We were just really sad yesterday. Something horrible happened like, oh, it's just not nice. We just both felt really sad.

We felt really like, you know what I was thinking yesterday, I'm not good people. I am not. I'm not good people. I am not. I'm not good people. I am on the wrong side of history. No, no, no. Like I actually felt bad. You are a good person and like everyone is a good, like.

Everybody is a good person. Everyone's perfect. And you get a car and you get a car. Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink at you all. Like you are a good person. You are. Well then I was gonna say that my main course was yesterday i was really thinking like thank god you we had a phone call last night and you really

made me it really affirmed all the things that i knew to be true in the back of my brain that i like wasn't letting myself go to have almost just like this is okay sort of thing like you were really you were a voice of reason you came down down from the, it was a haa, and the clouds opened and you came, and it made me feel so much better. And I came off the call being like, thank fucking God for that. Yeah.

Just like, thank God for that. We're quite, we're weird. Like the things that you need to hear, I will be thinking and the things that I need to hear, you'll be thinking like so it just sort of It's just ideal really It's just kind of perfect

It just works It's just like kind of amazing. It's really salt and pepper It's really like god you just need these two things it's the yin and yang Yeah, no it really is because sometimes it's like yeah I know that exactly what how I'll be feeling about a thing you'll need here and I know how you're how I need to hear you'll be thinking yeah that's great I think you could say we bring out the best in each other yeah I love bread for the table it's so nice it is really nice and Harry our favorite thing about you is

The scarf. You're a great listener So much I love about Harry. You're a really active listener. Yeah, so much Which is something I really value in people I was speaking about someone earlier saying they're just such good listeners. That's true Yeah, active listening and Harry you are known for that You are known for your listening. It's a skill that I know you possess. Got into the ground. Great listener. I really hope everyone's having a nice start to 2025 and that you're feeling like good in yourselves. Yeah. There are good things coming for you Harry I feel it. Same, you're so loved. You're so loved Harry, you're so loved brave boy. I've got to go do my line. Let's go, let's go.

What is it? I've already forgot on it. I don't think I can do this. I can't do this, whatever. Oh God. I can't wait to watch it. I'm nervous for it, it makes me feel really sick. Okay. I didn't really know I was going to be involved guys, it's a very last minute thing.

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