Goes Without Saying - this doesn't go without saying #2

Episode Date: July 12, 2021

choose your fighter: a nuanced podcast with thoughtful insights and a cohesive narrative, or one that spirals into a mess of unanswerable questions and outdated references? well we're back with another episode of This Doesn't Go Without Saying, where we answer your burning and juicy questions that really can't go unsaid. is it a privilege to resist labelling your sexuality? can we ever move past a desire for institutional validation under capitalism? join sephy & wing for another bizarre episode of Goes Without Saying. we'll show ourselves out. join the conversation every monday. speak your mind on the @sephyandwing instagram! you’re invited to our discord group chat: https://discord.gg/YCJsuEV8fY Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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wherever you listen to podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts. Everywhere. Acast.com Goes Without Saying, we are back for another episode of Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. Except this time, we are sharing everything that doesn't go without saying. We're getting you up to speed. I feel like these episodes are kind of the close friend story of this podcast.

Feels a bit exclusive. Feels like a safe space even though it's not. And it's totally public just like every other episode. So stay tuned. I feel a bit um worse for wear after this whole conversation that we've had. We've gone here, there and everywhere. It's kind of deep and funny and weird. It's kind of exactly what you would expect, to be honest.

So I hope you enjoy. Okay, so a good place to start, I think, is the fact that everyone wants to... Well, Sophie and I had quite a funny conversation yesterday about sexuality and about labels. And we made a funny Animal Crossing joke, which if you don't have an awareness of animal crossing you're not gonna get but we're saying about mark you i've got marshalling boxes that i've got sephi and wing in boxes like people putting labels on anything really yeah love to box you in and the privilege that comes with not you know rejecting that the privilege that comes with rejecting that not not rejecting that so should we talk about sexuality because i feel like people are confused people are

they want to know like kind of the only question not the only question but i would say like a large proportion of the things were um i think i'm bisexual like what do i do sort of thing and i would say you don't have to do anything about it go on some dates it's fine literally live your life fancy some people well that's where the privilege comes in isn't it absolutely but there is a privilege in i think there is a privilege in bisexuality in a way no but i mean there's a privilege in in being like you don't have to do like you know for us it's like yeah we don't i don't really have to confront my sexuality too much yeah although because you pass through the world operating

as a straight woman essentially yeah yeah there's a real sincerity to people's like worry and concern because for the majority that's why like it's such a fucking big thing because it's not as easy as just like yeah i'll just i'll just get on with it i guess i'll just do what sephie and wing do and i'll just like accept it and just like have a bit of fun do you know what i mean but i also agree with you in that like for us i think it's like it's not a big deal and that's the joke of it well i just almost feel like it's not deep just because i haven't operated in a deep way about it in that it's just kind of like i don't even necessarily identify as bisexual i think it's kind of i definitely date guys and I definitely date girls and I think that is both a

very very very fun and it's almost like um I'm lucky in the way that it's um I don't have to put the label on of like I'm this I'm this and this but then it's also like I do have a desire to be like oh well what am I then yeah because it is a mess I don't know I think there's just a bit of it that's like I'm uncomfortable with putting a label on something that I don't understand well the label could be wrong and probably a part of it is the label feels wrong but examining why the label feels wrong it's kind of interesting but then I also don't think it's the god it's really raining if you can hear rain like I'm sorry there's nothing I can do about it um might be quite relaxing I hope asmr but almost what's that phrase like it's your something to bear it's your something to bear. It's your something to bear. Your cross to

bear. Your cross to bear. Yeah, it's just unfortunate that like, it's in part an interesting question of, okay, why, why, why wouldn't I want a label? What label might I like? That whole thing is a really interesting and complex conversation. But then also, it's unfortunate that for the people who are actually curious about that or have any interest in that is because they're impacted by it and it's a it's heavy across the bed do you know i mean it's a whole real thing yeah it's a real thing it is confusing it is 100 confusing to be like potentially as well at school like from a young age to be like okay so this this suddenly feels heavy like to be like right okay what do i like what do i like here why are the boys disgusting but some of the girls are okay what does that mean just in the standard of

the world the standard of girl is so so much higher than the standard of man in this world it's insane honestly when we look through just like even like our dms and it's just all you girls it's just like like i'm sorry the world is filled with stunning girls can't move for stunning girls can't move for them it's kind of the best place to be truly but then also there are people there are little cuties kind of you then see i hate to say i'm still on kind of kieran colkin or like you're on sebastian stan at the moment like then you see some people that's like oh there are some cute guys though like they are a bit fit though bo burnham i think we started on bo burnham i don't know i i also think like this is a mess so with all the things being like conceptually talk about bisexuality

and stuff i really really hate to say it but i'm not the person to ask because my experience was so easy like i very much operate as a straight woman i have operated as a straight woman throughout my whole life then kind of when i was about sort of I guess 21 when fuck no I'm gonna change my like um fucking tinder and hinge and shit to have girls on there too because I 100% would date a girl and then just started dating girls from there like it was never a thing that I was like oh my god oh my god what does this mean for my identity how am I gonna tell my parents about this um is my safety at risk here like can I still have this job that I want you know like there are so many real questions that shape the conversation of sexuality that I think why we only brush over it maybe in multiple episodes is because for us it is kind of the worst case scenario of oh well I just never

had I just kind of it was a bit of a laugh well it's just in the same way that i would date a guy i would date a girl and that's never been um it's never been deep for me so i think that's why i kind of in the way that it's like i i'm not a spokesperson on this and it can never be because it's almost i don't have many deep feelings about it because i am in that lucky position of just yeah it's never been deep i didn't grow up thinking i don't like men at all yeah and i also think now i've like i don't know what generation i think the concept of generational like markers is kind of flawed anyway it's kind of um mysbriggs but like the gen z millennial types i just think now with the younger generation our school experience like we finished school like GCSEs in like 2013

we're ancient that's a really long time ago do you know what I mean like yeah we like the school experience now is foreign to us it's not this thing that happened a couple of years ago I don't know what a secondary school looks like anymore I don't know what goes on in that place exactly so I think as much as we can say like we would have our own feelings of what it was like in school for example it's just very different now and i think in a lot of ways it's different for the better that freedom and flexibility of um like a spectrum of gender and sexuality is much more what you and i lean into yeah and that's not necessarily a like the archetype of millennial culture for example even though i wouldn't say that we really fit into millennial culture even though we reference

harry potter in every episode which is disgusting but i do think that that's something that it's a generational thing you you're young and open-minded and you see the world maybe i think a bit clearer for what it actually is rather than in the traditions and rituals that you've been sold for generations previous and it's less binary it's not you're a lesbian or you're straight you're gay or you're straight you're a girl or you're a boy there is space to be more fluid and i do think then the privileged people that kind of fit into wherever can lean into that and be like okay cool i don't have to label when it's like oh actually a few years ago you would have had to label this and it's almost a bit of an insult to not label it yeah well that's kind of the i think i i would that's the thing as well i think anyone who knows me would know

that i'm not straight and i think that in itself is enough of a label for me at this time in my life i can't say i'm perfectly straight what a bore i am i i don't know whether i'm just projecting this but i genuinely think anyone that says they're 100 straight is lying i know i was lying i know but then i was going to say, and then I was like, I'm not going to say it because I'm not in for this. Like, I don't want to be cancelled, but I was just about to say,

I'm going to say something really problematic and say, is anyone? But then I don't know. I'm going to say something really problematic and just say what I said. But then you said it. Yikes, I just said it. But I agree with you.

But again, it is projecting, but I don't know. The marketing that women have had on women's sexuality of women being the sexiest sexiest creatures you can't even walk down the street without seeing adverts of women in underwear licking an ice lolly like dripping down her face and shit just any random fucking advert i can't be on a youtube video without seeing a comment saying xxx hot chicks blah blah just a spam comment i can't avoid it it's like look at what spam is spam is a woman's arsehole as a profile picture do you know what i mean like yeah the whole world

is filtered through women's sexuality a gaze of yeah women being sexual so no wonder you want to finger a girl well and also then it feeds in the two ways of you have then the overt awareness of what you look like and then how you perform to essentially what is a male gaze because as much as it's female sexuality it's female sexuality tailored to a male gaze of like big fucking tits in your face come all over them whoa which isn't necessarily actually what a woman would find attractive in yeah fucking girl fucking squirt 10 time bucket loads like it's kind of it's not actually what necessarily we'd be like oh wow that's so fit but then when you see for example um fucking you're watching i don't know sex education the show and fucking jillian anderson is standing there in a beautiful like white

dressing gown i was gonna say jillian anderson it's like well i can't fucking ignore this i can't and i won't you want me to pretend this isn't the most stunning thing I've ever seen? Even Hermione. I'm not going there. Just leave it. No, yeah, even Hermione. The pink dress, say it. The pink hoodie.

Exactly. And that's the line between, do I want to fuck this woman or do I want to be her? Do I need to look like this woman? Or do I want to be in bed with her? Or is it just a combination of the two? But I think that is the line that all, I hate to be her? Do I need to look like this woman? Or do I want to be in bed with her? Or is it just a combination of the two? But I think that is the line that all, I hate to project,

but all women, lots of women, you, you, you and you, Harry, all of us. I literally am joking. I don't know what people feel I'm projecting, but I do think that is the line that, for example,

we get a lot of people, when we spoke about porn ages ago, a lot of people were saying, I don't know what it is, because when I watch porn, like straight porn, I watch the woman. Because the man looks tony hawk the man is rank get me out of it the man is rank and because it's filtered through a male lens and also he's a mime

why is he not speaking but that most likely was created for men by men so then you are watching that and of course the man is just a placeholder of dick and the woman is this she's having it looks like she's having an absolute whale of a time we know it's fake but she's screeching her nuts off it's a Meryl Streep performance so of course you're drawn to her and also she's got big bouncing boobs in her in your face of course you're gonna look at them yeah yeah that's the duality of like I'm seeing myself in this am I viewing myself as her or am i viewing her as an object that she's is being presented as she's not being presented as an autonomous woman feeling pleasure she's being presented as a woman that's feeling pleasure for the gaze of the male viewer so no wonder we're

all fucking confused and that's the same thing that you then see in a top shop advert or in a r.i.p top shop r.i.p philip green see you in hell. I'm fuck Philip Green. But you're seeing that in every single bit of media you consume as you walk down the street is just like a micro fucking version of porn of just a woman pretending she's loving her life for a male gaze. Right. Right. That's quite a nice concept. It's an awful concept, but just every woman is living her life as a micro version of porn. God. I hate to start this out like this god let the kind of floodgates open of the problematic comments come in i didn't know we were going to start off with a big sexuality question well i just think it's quite nice the people want to know the people want to know about it and i also think zebby and i had a funny

conversation yesterday we were supposed to record yesterday don't ask never ask when we say we're supposed to record just don't even ask just don't ask don't worry about it it's fine when we say assume the worst truly assume the worst it actually was fine we just ended up talking about by burnham for a long time but we had an interesting conversation yesterday about the label of like so sephi is a what did you say we were joking about the label of like so seffy is a what did you say we were joking about the perception of for example seffy was saying the perception of her is suddenly she's a bisexual autistic person with body dismal with an eating disorder it's just like all of these things she has no grip on like not representative of her at all really is what we get messages about saying oh seffy could you actually just talk about your autism? I don't fucking know.

But that's why I wanted to talk about sexuality first, because it is interesting. And I was saying, Sefi will have the label as a bisexual person. And Sefi said, because I've been on a date with a girl, I have the label of being bisexual. And I said, it's not even because you've been on the date, it's because you've said you've been on the date. Exactly, exactly.

Is what you choose to present. Because also with sexuality, I think when people feel like inexperienced, if we live in a heteronormative world, the timeline follow, the kind of buildings where a man follows you, kind of go on a couple of dates with boys, and you kissed a boy in school and blah, blah, blah. But if you're kind of devering off of that route in any way you come especially like so if you're in your like early 20s you're like fuck okay i want to date a woman suddenly you feel like you're 13

where to begin yeah and i think that's part of the curiosity of it um but also the thing with identity in that someone could have never been on a date with a girl and have a rainbow emoji in their bio and be proudly and rightly so proudly talking about how they're a lesbian and blah blah blah and have no experience but if you've spoken about something it's just whether you it's whether you what you choose to say is apparently what matters i don't know if i'm saying that right but um that might make sense to one person well it is right because also it's what you realize about yourself like for example even taking i don't know any old shit like for example us but we're both vegan yeah we could have just not spoken about that because to be honest why would it come up it's not really we

weren't anticipating talking about the vegan fucking burger kim burgers last episode for about fucking half an hour but it came up it's coming up quite a lot at the moment we could have moved through the whole space never getting questioned about veganism never ever ever but it's it just so happens it came up and it's almost like now we would be kind of in a space of oh okay we're we're vegan we're openly vegan we're pushing a message now which we didn't even say i'm vegan by the way what are you then i'm i eat plant-based but i'm not vegan there's i'm there's probably products in my hair right now that aren't vegan i'm a bit confused about the difference between plant-based and vegan because i always understood that i think

my vegan knowledge is so um fucking five years ago because i feel like i don't actively like because i don't actively listen to any of the vegans no i and i don't i intentionally don't listen because i know i will further my eating disorder so i actively don't listen to you freely telling me to eat fucking five watermelons a day and nothing else you fucking freak i can't believe freely freely actually tried to kill me in 2011 i can't believe you watched freely like i voluntarily by freely scares me bonnie rebecca i know she's still around but i know she's changed her ways oh i love bonnie rebecca well she she tried she also tried to kill me back in the day but oh yeah well i love her because heads up for all the swifties out

there yeah she has a great channel with her friend emily and they talk about taylor swift and it's just like the nicest thing to listen to i honestly think they're great and also just love their friendship she's so stunning that's a really wholesome um recommendation but i just really love them anyway yeah the vegan community was um scary so strange so strange does anyone remember a senior a sena o'neill she was a big one and she really tried to she honestly tried to put the final nail in the coffin of my life honestly these poor people what was her thing a lot of fruit she was um like a vegan youtuber i guess and she like did a big thing she like dropped off the internet so i'm leaving this is all fake it's like she was kind of ahead of her time to be honest it's kind of she's in sephian wing this is all fake we're really just trying to be a cena i just want to give you authenticity

and i can't but she also was um a kind of um a girl that was starving herself on the internet and looked stunning for it and ever and there were girls in she was in australia and then there's girls across the world being like oh my god i will eat just a grain of rice and three avocados just honestly strange times thank god the internet's different yeah that's what i was gonna say i remember the notable moment of you being like we were we were doing a post on diet culture for an old iteration of sephian wing and and i was like listing out diets i was like you know this like this like raw till four and you're like no raw till four is just a vegan thing and i was like stuffy raw till four just think about it for a second you eat raw food until 4 p.m it's diet like intimate and fasting that's

just like a vegan thing no no yeah when you're seeing someone frame essentially diet culture through ethics as in it is ethical to eat this way it is right for the animals it is right for the planet blah blah fucking bloody blah don't we know it um you're hearing all of this and you think oh my god i must do this it's good this is like um almost symbolic of my goodness it's weird how it gets twisted away from like i still think veganism does that it is that it is entirely that it's entirely entirely framing yourself through kind of the aesthetics of being a good virtuous person great that's a good start i was gonna start the thing by asking what harry potter house you're in because someone said oh my god i'm surprised that you have picked that question well i didn't really

pick it but i just suddenly thought i would love to know because i think i know yours but then i just also think they do come and go, like they do change. Well, I think we've had this combo before. To me, it's pretty obvious. You're a Gryffindor. Well, no, but to me, it's pretty, ours are pretty obvious. And we've spoken about it multiple times,

but I'm not going to take it personally that you don't remember, because we're- You're a Gryffindor. I am a Gryffindor, is what JK Rowling would say, apparently. But also she says a lot of things, so she's not the top of my list of people who I want to believe what they say also she says a lot of things so she's not the top of my list of people who i want to believe what they say there's a lot of things we disagree with so

i also think there's a bit of a ravenclaw situation there and i think with you it's a ravenclaw and slytherin situation same but the test said gryffindor and i disagree wholeheartedly when did your test say gryffindor my test said gryffindor crazy i was so annoyed by it you should take it again i did griffin honestly gryffindor gryffindor gryffindor i'm literally not slithering not i'm literally not gryffindor oh i never knew that i thought it was saying slithering slithering slithering no i want to be slithering i am slithering i know in my bones you are slithering it's not even wannabe but i think i'm in a bit of a harry situation of the sorting hat couldn't choose between gryffindoror and Slytherin right I'm interested that it's never you've never

had a Ravenclaw thing I'm so confused honestly but I know I'm a Slytherin I identify as a Slytherin why do you identify as a Slytherin tell us um because you want to fuck Draco but apart from it's just kind of where I picture myself in the world jokes I actually do picture myself as Gryffindor though with Fred and George right but like wait but you're not a hufflepuff with cedric i thought you'd be there in your mind no no not at all hufflepuff's fine i love that cedric is a hufflepuff but i've never wanted to be hufflepuff with cedric that girl was the hufflepuff princess remember i think you got the wrong end of the stick that i was saying i was the hufflepuff princess oh okay i thought you wanted to be the hufflepuff prince no i didn't think i didn't think

you would dream to be in hufflepuff i didn't think that no but just for the context there's a tiktoker and her username was hufflepuff princess which is and we love really bored and confused oh i absolutely adored her yeah hufflepuff princess is embarrassing okay that covers up then no why do you want to be in slytherin you were saying wait i don't know let me think why do you identify so like you know why talk about it you brought this up not me make interest do something answer me i wanted to hear you say graffindor just to kind of put my mind around well it's also kind of everyone is divergent yeah literally the most absurd thing is basically what color do you like what aesthetics do you like do you like i think i like the snake thing i think i like the evil snake kind of green evil yeah darkness vibes and you're sitting next

to draco i wouldn't say no i wouldn't mind that situation but talk about it why don't you want to talk i feel like you you're a bit um tight-lipped something you're keeping from us i don't even know i suddenly feel like it's like the world's most self-indulgent question what harry potter house are you then you've why did you choose it because i wanted to hear yours and now you've thrown it back and i'm suddenly like fuck i don't want to be like so what harry potter house are you in and then well i see myself as a slytherin because i love draco suddenly really embarrassing No but I also don't think it is Draco. I think it's part of the whole yeah the darkness and the snake and the whole vibe. The snake Nagini's there, the bass is there. I kind of hate snakes. No I think it's bad girl but it's like

um evil villain girl. It's like Jesus. It comes back to the kind of fantasy thing like like a sexual fantasy kind of thing. For those of you that are confused. And they're all 14 year olds at school. That's what makes it really weird. Yeah, let's not even get into that. They are older than us. That's what I'm saying.

This is, I actually think maybe we should talk about it. All right. Well, that's kind of my fear when I said Hermione earlier. I was like, I don't want people to think that I'm a fucking weird. I'm not fucking fingering myself to little Emma Watson and I'm not I'm really really not no it's an interesting conversation because I remember when kind of TikTok um Harry Potter fantasies became like a big kind of thing or maybe they didn't even but they were a big thing for us they're a big thing on this podcast that's for sure oh boy were they that's all we need to say and I think there was like a bit of discourse around like oh you guys are in your 20s or you guys are like 18 19 like why are you looking at these like so kind of they

were 16 in these films children and i do think it's an interesting thing that through our eyes as children we will perpetually view those people as older than us even though now of course we look back and it's fucking um goblet of fire it's like these are children 15 year old yeah yeah but i do think it's really interesting that like fred and george for example will always feel older than me even though now i watch back and they're younger than me of course of course yeah this is how time works i just want to clear that up for anyone confused stephanie and i have a good understanding of age that's all it is again a generational thing part of why i think the younger generation is so fucking great is because they really see things with it's weird because i don't think it is

critical thinking i think it's a challenge they see it with an opposition of tradition which is amazing because it means that all of the like routines um of like britney spears being asked about her boobs when she was like 17. Yeah, it's challenged by this upcoming generation, which is so needed. But also, I think those challenges come up all the time. And sometimes it can be easily resolved. And maybe it's not so easily resolved. And again, maybe I'm in the wrong and I'm not as progressive as I should be. I don't know. It's the kind of classic thing with like Instagram, like wokeness and stuff is there needs to be room for nuance and sometimes i think the challenges and sometimes they're like kind of prescriptive nature of that dialogue is you're either with us or you're against us

you either don't do that or you do you know i mean it's like well some things there is nuance there because actually to take away the nuance is kind of it's kind of um okay segregation isn't a thing anymore but you still won't get a good job and you'll be living in a town where you're all you know no one goes you know no one has a good education and blah blah blah you you think you've dealt with the problem by saying like oh that's bad so we don't do that anymore but actually you need to have the nuance to open up all of the other smaller fractions of that conversation. Does that make sense? Absolutely. That was stunning. That was a whole piece.

Thank you. That was great. Thank you. I was honestly hanging on your every word. What? All because you asked me about my Harry Potter house. See? That's the crux. Okay, I have a question for you. Someone wants to know, and I love this question. This is, again, funny.

Someone said, choose your fighter, Sefi,ieran colkin or john snow i don't know if that's too real for you because kieran is so real for you right now but i hate to say it but it's john every time actually i love to say that it's john every time oh i'm shocked i'm sure i love that i'm actually happy with myself with that i'm happy to hear that too my gut says john just because i know kieran will pass look we'll pass away i hate that it has spanned two episodes now. It is on its way out, The Crush. Is it? It is on its way out.

Because that's what I thought with Sebers, but it came back with a bang. That's the problem. I think it's going because I've stopped watching Succession. That's the problem with sometimes they haunt you. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature.

I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson people know this? I'm Owen Ever.

I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer. And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com But I think it's John every time. Look, John is longstanding. John has phases. I love John at the wall. I love John beyond the wall. I love John in the south. I love John beyond the wall. I love John in the South. I love him in the North.

Wherever he goes, I'll follow that man. I'm happy to hear that. Yeah. John Snow is a great kind of crush. Could I give you a choose your fighter? No, because I know what you're going to say and I don't want to hear it. Yeah, choose your fighter. I'm going to do it.

Sebastian Stan or Seth Rogen? Oh, you know they're both in the Tommy Lee, Pamela Anderson movie coming up. No, I didn't know that you sent me a picture of seth in a weird little look and that's from that he's that's from shooting that film or series i think i don't know it's on hulu who's your fighter though for what for what i don't know there's no context just what does your gut say like for for for marriage for sex for an argument like no it's just you've just got to pick one what does your gut say my gut says get me out of here i think it's seth to be honest do you no because i think you're in a similar thing that you're you're feeling the the lust you're in it's

a fever dream yeah you're in the high yeah you're feeling the lust for um sebastian stan because you did send me some videos of him licking someone's knee the other day some gifts actually they were gift of him licking a leg and they did look good they did look good and I showed you some of his gay scenes oh and they looked even better they yeah they were good but I think you're feeling the love for him but I do think it's actually your your heart says Seth but I could be proved wrong I have a different love for seth i almost quite respect him in a strange way i'm quite curious about him yeah i would like to have him in my life i don't want severs in my life because it's too much scabbers i don't want scabbers in my life i don't want sebastian's down my life because it's just like like get away from me you just you have no place here do you know what i mean too sexy just too just too insane seth rogan i could meet

and it would be fine i could happily walk away being like i've met seth rogan that's fine but is that just because i'm not in the height of it i also said to stephanie i think sebastian stan my name is erin emirali and i think erin emirali as a name and sebastian stan it's kind of the same name but flipped it's perfect it's absolutely perfect yeah you go together we're here to commemorate the wedding of erin emirali and sebastian stan but i don't want to i don't want this guy i have nothing for this guy i feel everything for this guy i don't know it's just life isn't it you're kind of like mrs sebastian stan mrs sebastian stan mrs fiona charming mrs fiona charming that used to really scare the shit out of me, actually.

It still kind of does. What? Mrs. Fiona Charming. I was saying to my boyfriend the other day, I've got this really, I don't know if it's a dream that I used to have when I was a kid or if it's like an early memory. Someone actually asked what's your earliest memory. So I'm just going to chuck this out there. I have this vision of being in a little baby crib, in a little baby bed.

Oh God. When you say early jesus yes yeah really really young fresh out of the womb it can't be real i hope it's not real because it's fucking creepy it's almost like i'm a baby and i'm in a tiny little cot and i'm kind of i must be like falling in and out of sleep i'm like in and out of consciousness because the adults are standing around me it's like everyone's standing around me looking down at the car i think that's the scene from friends but every yeah exactly like that exactly like that but they're saying oh isn't she beautiful it's all in slow motion they're witches yeah but it's like my family and they're like wow isn't she lovely isn't she it's stevie wonder but it's slow motion talking kind of scares the shit out of me that's horrible it just puts me a bit on edge it's quite creepy i think

yeah i mean so that's what you just reminded me of with the little shrek reference but i feel like i've taken this for a turn no no let's i'm happy for all the turns let's fucking you turn this bitch okay i've got a turn okay do you someone said do you think there is ever a point where it's selfish to put yourself first in a relationship oh it's actually like an interesting conversation okay yes absolutely yes yes yes yes yes i agree yes time right okay how do i even phrase this honestly that's the crux of having a podcast how do i even phrase this and i threw my arms in the air how do i even phrase this god almighty help me god help me i'm trying to construct a show here jesus sephie does say

before the podcast she'll look up to the sky and say how can i be of service here i genuinely do because which is great it's crazy i know i don't even look at i put my hands on my heart this is what i do before before think about the intention going into this guys this is all for you intention put my hands on my heart and i say allow me universe to be of service here and then i come out with i don't know really why i'm in sliverin i just fucking fancy draco kieran colkin god it's insane so apparently that's the universe working through me to come up with that bullshit so i'm sorry blame the universe not me yeah it's selfish to put yourself first in a relationship sometimes absolutely because if

you're somebody that operates for example um it depends on the power imbalances absolutely if you have the power and then you continue to put yourself first um it's of course selfish and it of course has um a detriment right you think it's about power i think it's about um like social power can you give me an example just come up with a hypothetical like say you have a person who does this and a person who is it like baby's first example baby's first analogy it's like why am i saying it like that but for example say there are two people that are invested in the relationship different amounts you have they're in a relationship they've agreed to be in this relationship communication is poor though one person is way more invested than the other person so therefore there is somebody with more power than the other

person the person that is less invested has more power right i do think then you have a responsibility one to communicate that and potentially allow that person to leave but also i do think then it is selfish to be i don't know you move through you move through that relationship endlessly putting yourself first because you know that you're kind of deceiving someone right yeah i agree well i also think selfishness is kind of what i was saying about the main character syndrome thing is like selfishness is not a good trait I think in my ethics on my moral compass selfishness is we don't want the arrow going over there do you know what I mean and I think self-prioritization in your own life is really really important but then there's a difference between taking care of yourself and covering your

own needs versus being an arsehole to everybody because you think they don't matter selfish implies that you're depriving someone else of something selfishness you think is depriving somebody else of something i think selfishness implies that you're harming someone else oh so i think it's like that you are taking more than your fair share or that you are acting in a way that you know is harmful to someone else to benefit yourself it's not self-love it's setting a boundary with somebody selfish no but what if your boundary harms them it depends i don't think i don't think about what if what if you're with someone what if you're with someone and they are suicidal i'm gonna look at my head because

you're with somebody they're suicidal right and power, that's a man, suicidal man, woman here is who we're talking about. And she sets a boundary with him and says, when you call me at 4am on a Friday night and I'm worried about, I can't do that anymore. My boundary is, I'm cutting that now. It's within her rights. Right. She's allowed to do that. But she's harming him now, question mark.

Is she? Is he harmed now? Is he at risk now? God, you're really throwing out the hard questions. Look, I don't, I don't fucking know. know i don't know because i know there's people listening that are in that situation i don't know i know that's why i said it i don't know this well that's the thing is kind of let's take this moment just to highlight that that's the beauty of these nuances and that's kind of what i'm talking about the generational thing is sometimes the answers

aren't clear that guy i hope he's okay but also i mean i'm always gonna lean on the woman's side aren't i but like we're always gonna have a bit of bias yeah literally it's kind of like if you could switch the switch the genders who knows what i'd be saying exactly yeah i saw a great thing and it was basically saying your triggers are your responsibility and it's fucking true that is true how good How good is that? Yeah I think that is true. Triggers. Yeah your triggers are your responsibility because look it's my responsibility it comes down to me to manage closing an app when I'm not liking what's going on there or stopping listening to a podcast when I don't like what they're saying. It's my responsibility. And leaving a conversation

saying sorry I'm I just think this conversation I can't hear it I've got to go. Uh-huh and that's not because it doesn't matter to anybody else it's just that's the only way that it can happen everyone has to cover themselves it's kind of um on an airplane when it they say like adults take put your sort your own oxygen mask out before you do the kids yeah it's like just cover yourself because that's what you need to that's gonna cause less disaster if we could all take responsibility for ourselves and i hope that doesn't sound like i'm implying that that man who's suicidal isn't taking responsibility for himself because it's obviously again more complex than that um but i do think in so many ways yeah forget that guy because i'm not talking about him but

like it's your responsibility in a lot of ways that being said people shouldn't be an arsehole to you it's not even you are on your own own there's an element of okay this is your job to sort this out but then it's also like but there also is there are networks available like there are networks of things like yes they're your responsibility and people do want to get involved and there are also therapy and all of these all of the stuff that we don't need to go through it medication therapy we know it but it's also like it is on you because also like you can have all of the stuff given to you and all of the support given to you if you do not decide in yourself i know my triggers i'm managing this i'm on this on some level on some level i i have some

awareness of what's going on in my own mind or some level of care for yourself exactly i was gonna say not taking care of yourself is insecurity that comes from insecurity is coming from the desire of wanting please they must care about me someone someone take care of me i can that comes from insecurity is coming from the desire of wanting please they must care about me someone someone take care of me i can't i can't i don't give a shit about myself i can't blah blah blah like it all come not taking care of yourself not holding yourself accountable comes from hating yourself literally absolutely well we were just saying um just before that i haven't been doing yoga i haven't done yoga for like a week and you were like yes because you fucking hate yourself at the moment but it's like

it's but it's like yeah because i'm it's maybe not hate yourself maybe i don't want that to go no that's funny just change it just change it it's because you feel like shit at the moment it's like yeah okay so that shows doesn't it i do i have stopped doing the pretty much one of the only things that makes me feel okay fucking hell depressing stop second guessing yourself i'm in a really i'm insecure today aren't i no one thinks you're weak no one thinks you're all these bad things no one's thinking that let yourself make these jokes and speak freely yeah i just take a second take a second sorry i want to stop you just take a second because you're not taking it in why why are the second guessing for who i don't know i feel like i'm coming across like an idiot why is who you are

not deserving of a space where you can speak fucking freely and that's what people need that's what snape's guarding that's what that's what fluffy's guarding that's what snape wants i love the bit where he's like did i've been preoccupied with his head didn't you notice there were three oh god i do love the early days so good or worse expelled i was thinking you're saying oh now i can relax kill us faster oh now i can relax devil snare devil that's right devil snare hates sunlight it looks really delicious i I think the devil's snare. Devil's snare, really? Kind of a noodle vibe.

I think when they get, they're really wrapped in it and they get sucked. I think it looks quite like, I want to bite onto it. But yeah. Go on. Not doing yoga because. Yeah, I haven't been doing yoga because it's like, I just feel too stressed or something. Too shit. Essentially too shit to be like okay i'm gonna stop everything

get on a fucking mat and be really present in my own body it's like no that's the fucking last place i want to be if i'm honest i don't want to be present in my body i want to be honestly in the clouds right now yeah so you stop taking care of yourself i know that is one of the only things that makes me feel like good but i stop doing that because i'm feeling shit it's like the most counterintuitive thing but it's like it's your responsibility to know what makes you feel good and continue it that's the hard bit is kind of you're so depressed that you can't take a shower and brush your teeth and have a nice breakfast and make sure you drink water and get enough rest but then you can't do those things because you're depressed and then

you're more depressed because you're not doing them and it goes on and on and on yeah and then here we are not able to turn up to the podcast every week and i'm like assume the worst but like actually though okay i thought this question was really interesting um this person said did you guys ever go through the attached or wanting to please authority figures phase to me it makes me think of this is quite a slytherin thing actually of wanting like the institutional like validation of something absolutely kind of you want a pat on the back from Spotify which was the best so who doesn't best day ever yeah time of our lives yeah time of our life when we got a little pass on the back from Spotify would love another pat anytime soon

Spotify would love a check to be honest anyone harry i speak directly to you if you are a brand it's kind of do we start a patreon or a go fund me how bad are the times i'm joking i'm joking but yeah i feel like kind of desiring the approval of authority figures is so interesting because it's kind of the the thing that i keep going on and on about um or it makes me think of this thing of the dichotomy of how you think and what you know and what you understand isn't necessarily always how you feel so you might know that praise from a really strict teacher at your school is kind of nothing like it doesn't matter but you really feel like you want it really bad and I think that's the kind of interesting line to walk because everything you've been raised to believe is that you should desire that because if you look at even just like capitalist success

the pinnacle of that is being praised publicly by an institution capitalism yeah specifically like you must go through the academic um validation the academic approval that must a good university a good school you must get good grades it must put a stamp of approval on you and prove and validate that you are good enough then it's jobs then it goes into capitalism you're earning money and the more money you earn the better stuff you have the more quote-unquote successful you are therefore the more happy you are the better person you are so you've been trained to believe that so going against that suddenly feels like okay so if i don't need these institutions to say that i'm valid and i can just believe that i'm valid innately god you're free you're free go do go live your life yeah honestly you're free free i'm free free as a bird you can just run off into the sunset it kind of ties in is also like the stories

that we tell ourselves like watch what is the story of your life in from your perspective in the way of like you could be an excellent swimmer as a child and you have a great coach and you love them and you're swimming you're swimming coach i don't know you can tell this is not an anecdotal story you can tell this is not biologically biographical this is um wings life story she's um just her and the coach just kicking it around the team you're swimming coach right teacher coach i guess they're coaching i don't know yeah you're a swimming coach and you've got a great bond and then you move town and you go to this new you're on this new swim team and that your mum found it for you and they say oh yeah go and do that and

you're not the best one on the team anymore and the coach doesn't really favor you anymore and now your story is ruined because if someone doesn't see your worth that must mean that your worth doesn't exist and now it's all done and you're never going to make it to the olympics and you're not going to go swimming anymore and you're donezo and you're just going to call it a day because everything's riding on the perceptions of others which unfortunately is out of control yeah on the coach telling you that you are great uh-huh not everyone is going to see your worth not everyone is going to find value in you and that's fine But I think that's the trick of sort of like the illusion of success in this way,

or the illusion of like you're doing well. In that it's not even just what people think of you. Like, for example, it's like, as long as you're scoring first place, as long as you're scoring full marks, like it's very numerical. Like as long as you are hitting this targets within your work,

as long as you're over fucking whatever amount of money you want to reach. As soon as you're, you didn't come first in the swimming race anymore. came second in the swimming race swimming race the coach can still be telling you you're amazing you're amazing but the the proof is in the pudding like you didn't win you didn't win the race the proof is in the swimming race as they say as they so famously declare the proof is in the swimming race yeah the coach is still licking your ass saying well i well actually i have a story go on my sister's old the coach is still licking your ass saying well i well actually

i have a story go on my sister's old tennis coach is a pedophile whoa i know you used to want to give them lifts home and stuff crazy just another little coach um story so when i said the coach is licking your ass careful it's actually yeah can that go in i don't know i don't know it can it can it's funny but it's strange but it's funny it's also kind of does that serve as a warning of like everyone avoid seppi's sister's old tennis coach no he's going to jail is he really yeah he's literally going to jail they found child porn on his thing that poor man's had his life ruined by his own search history yeah exactly so unfair what they've done to him by his own fucking youtube search history youtube as if you watch child on youtube that shows how much i

don't know where to find porn youtube oh my god can i tell you a sad story once not even sad it's embarrassing for someone else someone gave me their phone to use once because my like broker whatever it's like a grown man. Not my dad. I just want to clarify. Not my dad. Not a member of my own family. Just a guy.

Just an older man gave me his phone to use. Who was? Wait, what? Why were you hanging out with this old man? Like what? It's actually your sister's old tennis coach. No, it's like an older guy. I don't know. Someone my dad's age. That's i said not my dad but it's not my dad now it sounds like it's your dad it's like yeah

you do protest too much asking for a friend yeah this man let me borrow like his old phone still confused but whatever and i went on youtube as you do because i was using this guy's phone like for a couple days and i like to spend some time on youtube yeah you do because i was using this guy's phone like for a couple days and i like to spend some time on youtube yeah who knows you're gonna find get a little freely video who knows get an old nana video out you know who knows what i'll do but all of his his whole algorithm on the like timeline was like um i don't know it's like the closest to porn that you can get on youtube like it was like um like pranking woman bent over like all of the thumbnails were like women and like little oh my god

kind of like can you believe this nip slip honestly can you believe this nip slip and then little asterisks shocking and like things like that it's like oh god yeah fucking phone back oh my god like disinfect the phone it's really daily mail headlines rita aura looks voluptuous and hot and sexy on the set of her new music video that she's been training for her whole life she's put so much work and time into it but all that matters is like you can see her nipples through a dress do you know who always is on daily mail articles that i always see who i think it's always rita aura i don't know anything about her it's named michelle keegan yeah it is it's always michelle keegan michelle keegan michelle keegan their daily mail are obsessed with michelle keegan you know who's

another one the daily mail are obsessed with michelleegan, I'll give you that. Rita Ora and also Kelly Brook and Molly fucking May. Poor Molly May gets rinsed on Daily Mail. Leave Molly May alone, everyone. Honestly, leave Britney alone. But actually though, free Britney. Leave her and Tommy. Oh my God. I don't know what happened.

Did their dog die recently? Just leave them alone. Oh yeah, that was quite a while ago, yeah. I think something happened. There was a controversy about that. Tyson, his yeah yeah tyson's got covid my dad my dad literally two seconds ago just sent me a link saying the fight's being cancelled the bout the bout he said has been cancelled did you see this is what you shouldn't believe everything you see on the internet is it was it jake or logan i don't know they're all the same to me jay oh no logan for um what's his name tommy nook are you talking about the recent fight i'm

i'm so tommy fury molly may's boyf was gonna fight was it logan oh i actually think that might have been jake i don't know logan just had a big fight but i can't remember the guy's name even though that's embarrassing that he's actually like kind of a professional boxer well it's one of the pools basically was like trash talking Tommy Tommy Fury these are this is Tommy Fury is like a boxer right yeah and Molly May they met on Love Island so they're both like it's like an influencer couple if you don't if you're not from the UK or you don't know what we're talking about but Tyson I'm sure you all know Tyson Fury heavyweight champion right yes that's the dad the dad of tommy fury no no no he's his big brother the dad is actually a nutter he's like a band from america he's like a real

nutter i've forgotten his name though god i think his name's john fury big fan of the family you you know so much but also so little at once like there's so much information here but no way of phrasing it um dad's banned from america they're irrelevant tommy um tommy is tyson's younger brother and molly may's girlfriend and paris is tyson's wife fucking okay well anyway all i was trying to say was that's the family tree don't believe everything you see on the internet because one of the poor people when they would like logan or jake paul i don't know which one it was was trash talking tommy fury molly may's boy boyfriend um spell it out for everyone and he faked a dl he said look i've got this dm from a few years ago from molly may yeah and it was a message from molly may saying like hey like

would love to meet up like when i'm in like coming out like i'm coming to america in a few weeks whatever yeah i'm coming to la and someone replied being like well that's funny because that white heart emoji that is in that message didn't come out until two years later or something fuck oh so they fucking got him but don't believe everything you see on the internet even sophie sent me a fucking um screenshot of like a tiktok earlier it wasn't a tiktok it's even more embarrassing a youtube short it was actually a youtube short because i don't have tiktok which i do watch by the way and it was a screenshot of tom holland but that's like i mean i literally looked at it for like two seconds but i'm pretty sure someone's edited 100 is photoshopped yeah someone's edited his photo his photo his picture

his face fucking how his likeness um yeah someone's editing his likeness onto someone else's body it's kind of the whole conversation with deep fakes at the moment of like like someone could just put you in a porn video for example it's we're headed for a scary old black mirror place before shane dawson was um cancelled which time i'm joking there was a video that he put out it was you know when he's like conspiracy vibes from him there was a thing which he did like a little weird little segment on deep fakes and i was i'd never really i didn't really know what deep fakes were but it's crazy it would be like selena gomez's face sucking a dick yeah it's like this is so disturbing this is so so fucking disturbing yeah it's kind of me yeah they put wings and selena gomez's face there's you

they put it's selena gomez's face but she's eating a burger king whopper i don't know what's going on right now it's just wing oh my god um yeah it's really really scary because it's also it's also that conversation of that i feel like we itch into and we're probably really pre-empting it's very presumptuous of us to insert ourselves into this conversation but it's kind of if you're a public figure are you just public property i'm not saying we are public figures yeah it's embarrassing to put ourselves into you're right about that but like we have there's hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours yeah shit talking from us and i've said before if you wanted to make me out like um you're a chef you always say a fucking chef saw it coming it's just a good word do you want

to be a chef or something well i i think it's kind of hard like i think i used pilot in another example but i think that would be a bit harder but i think you could edit me to be a chef yeah yeah because i talk about food a bit i talk about ribs and stuff it's like you could string along a little story that we are pedophiles that we are pilots that we are swimming teachers that we are this and this and this you know what i mean because we've already strung the story of seffy is a um whatever we said earlier with an eating disorder brilliant we've got seffy and winging boxes exactly yeah molly may did sign up for this life but she also didn't sign up to having like a kind of 40 year old male journalist comment on the way that her body looks, publish it onto the Daily Mail and have like floods and floods of a forum of like grown men saying she's not fuckable anymore. And is that fair just because she can cry about it in Rolls Royce rather than cry about it in her fucking Nissan Micra that's parked on the road when she's getting a Burger King?

That's quite anecdotal. Because did have a nissan micro but anyway i used to love nissan micro i loved my nissan micro if anyone needs a recommendation for a first car i would highly recommend the nissan micro so cute i would also highly recommend the car i have which is um a honda jazz honda jazz and i was watching in succession in succession, in succession, there's like, there's a Honda Jazz. There's a bit, because they're multi, like,

millionaires. They're probably like billionaires. They're so, so rich. And there's a bit of like, not even a gag, but it's like, he gets into this car

and it's supposed to be like, the shit car. And it's a fucking Honda Jazz, which is the car I have. And it's like, oh, I'm literally the butt of the joke. Honda,

Honda Jazz isn't quite, it's kind of, now you're oppressed it's like it's very much like um an old woman's car it's quite bulky right they're kind of they're very rounded they're quite long no they're really round they're like rounded they're always like this one mine is like this well my family's one is like this blue it's like a horrible bluey silver sounds lovely it's hideous they're so hideous but i love it we probably shouldn't give too much information

about cars the number plate is it's taking a turn hey just a fun thing about my car just quickly um yep absolutely you're absolutely don't even have to ask yeah go on it was my grandma's old car uh-huh and she gave it to me when i learned to drive then unfortunately i had to go to my sister and then it's a whole fucking hand me hand me down hand me down robes must be a weasley honestly um but i opened the glove compartment because it's my grandma's old car open the glove compartment and where this original yeah honestly waterfall of where there's originals fell into my lap they're still in there i've had it for about seven years now I just give them to people when they get a ride no still going still still not even past the sell-by date these things can go and go so if you want any Werther's originals

I'll give you a lift and we know where to go sweet ride hey also I found one cd in there there was one cd in the thing funniest song it could be it was sexual healing sexual healing such a funny cd to be in the car um but yeah that's just some funny facts about my honda jazz i hope you've been taking notes we'll do a pop quiz on that in a few weeks time what song was in the glove compartment what little sweet was found in sephie's grandmother's car what color was the shirt okay i think are we are we ready to go you know what i will say i'm not ready to leave until we've given our thanks because i think there are thanks to be there are thanks due there's credit due here yeah just in the sense that like people have come in with

their questions and then i'm assuming someone's listening to this right now which is so that's mental really scary actually we had a thing that i think we're in this weird process at the moment of like um kind of blossoming into carly jenner but i suppose also kind of grappling with the idea that there are actually a few pairs of ears on this now we spoke on the phone like i don't know we speak on phone all the fucking time we'll face him but like we'd spoken for like four hours that's not unusual to be loved by anyone it's not unusual yeah it's not unusual for us to speak for four hours this is nuts yeah this is really weird now this is quite scary actually it's not unusual come on all together now oh god yeah go on we realized it was like god in that time blah blah blah amount of people would listen to us and it's like god

we were having some fucking meaningless convo about bo burnham probably loads of fucking people had listened and i think we're in a bit of a transition of like god that's actually a bit fucking crazy it's scary and it is amazing like we did this into the void for so long and it's not a void anymore it's just a little bit less of a void it is like a really really i know people are gonna find this boring but i just have to say i think it's it is an amazing thing to have people enjoy this weird void like it really really means a lot and it's really frustrating that there aren't really i personally don't feel like i have the vocab to articulate no you don't to articulate that sums up then i guess but i don't have the i just it's not in my power to perfectly explain to you how nice it is yeah this is

actually quite a dark thing it's so nice because it nice because it's part of a bigger exchange. I was watching, well, I watched this. It was actually, funny enough, a YouTube short, but it was a TikTok of Alexis Ren. And I said this to Sophie the other day, that Alexis Ren basically said, she was responding to a comment on TikTok that said like, you know, she's obviously got an eating disorder, so whatever.

And Alexis Ren was saying, she said, I'm just going to address this comment now and address all of you and say I told you about my eating disorder to connect with you I said that to have a connection with you so that maybe one of you might feel a bit better about your experience with eating for example a body image or any of. And now it's being used against me. And that is an unfair exchange. And I don't know, I just wanted to leave that out there and say that the exchange of just having like the, you know, even if the void is still a void, and there's just us three, it's Sefi and Wing and you listening right now. And if you're enjoying this,

then that's enough. That's a really, really nice nice thing i think what we feel and why the episodes can be rocky and chaotic sometimes is because there's only so much second guessing you can do when you're talking really um openly and like we're quite introspective in a lot of episodes and and for us it feels like we're giving quite a lot and i think it makes it more of an unpleasant experience for the listener and for the person speaking to be second guessing what they're saying and hovering around beating around the bush when they're talking so we're trying to speak as freely as possible so that all of us involved can have the best experience do you know what i mean absolutely absolutely and i hope that makes sense so this is just a moment of gratitude and like reflection of the space because sephi and i reflect on this space and ourselves and

just our lives all day every day all the time which is a problem but i just think it's important to give a little bit of that on here because i don't know we care i don't know like we think about this i don't know i think that's so perfect because it's true it's i know i think you said it all i think you said it all that's's it. Completely perfect. You're completely perfect. Completely perfect for me. That's from Angus Thongs who goes, you're a natter, but you're a perfect natter. You know Robbie? Anyone know Robbie?

Oh my God. You know what that reminds me of? We're not done, by the way. I'm going to keep this going. Sorry if you thought we were done. But I almost, I don't want to shove that on the end and then no one listens to it. Okay.

I just think it's an interesting thing. But also the Bruno Mars thing. I don't know what that is but go on i'm always up for a chat about bruno well actually i haven't the bruno mars let me narrow it down the bruno mars song that came out over 10 years ago that says because girl you're amazing just the way you are do you remember that song yeah yeah you're amazing what were your thoughts on that song at the time can i can i ask um let me think of the lyrics when i see your face there's not a thing that i would change i would change i just i didn't really have many thoughts on it i really started to get into bruno like quite recently oh

yeah you're quite a big bruno fan i think he's very stunning again quite short i think i'm having a bit of a short man love at the moment short confident man well it works because they'll be taller than you that's fine yeah exactly i think when you're short then the short you get the world of short men is open to you exactly you get the whole world is open to you everyone's tall to me yeah so everyone is kind of fit well anyway yeah i was just gonna say i brought it up as to say that that song i used to find it really insulting go on in the way that i've said before and i know we both do this well just any compliment or just anything i'll find a way to take it personal in a mean way like someone will say um i love it on the podcast when

you said this and i'll read it as i love it when you said that you fucking idiot like yeah i love that you fucking think you got away with that you fucking dumb bitch like yeah i read compliments in a sarcastic tone but him saying you're amazing just the way you are to me is like how fucking dare you bruno imply yeah bruno imply that it's just the way that i'm not just little old imperfect me it's like how dare you yeah imply that there are flaws to love do you know what i mean do you know what song i find really insulting you don't know you're beautiful you're insecure don't know what for you don't know you're beautiful so i'm only beautiful because you don't know it because i don't know it because i'm insecure therefore i'm allowed to be stunning oh but if i knew it if i knew it if i walked through the word like i fucking know i'm the shit sorry just, just a bit much. I'm a bit much for you now, Zayn, am I? Sorry, Niall. You're gonna say that's my face?

Yeah. I don't think so, you fucking woman hater. Yeah. Not you, Harry. You're perfect just the way you are. Meanwhile, they were literally like 16 years old. Like they didn't have any say in singing that song. Absolutely not. But that's what i mean by the world has changed so much in the 10 years ago when that song came out that was fine if someone put out that song tomorrow there would be that sort of conversation online yeah kind of at the forefront of the conversation it would be maybe even trending on twitter that was not happening 10 years ago the conversation was just how romantic how sweet over a decade a lot has changed when we think that there wasn't even really that much of a discourse around blurred lines not at all at the

time there was a slight one but not at all in the level of like this is a song about rape yeah i know you want it yeah about the line of consent yeah yeah blurred lines you're raping her yeah okay well i really honestly feel like i've been i think i feel like i've been thrown through a fucking hedge do you know what i mean yeah totally i don't really feel very good i feel like i've got scrapes and bruises all over me you know what it is we've been through the wars well this is what one of these episodes of this doesn't go without saying it's what it's all about we're gonna leave shit in that we wouldn't have we wouldn't usually leave in but fuck it right yeah it's kind

of the close friends story yeah that's nice that's so nice do you know what i mean if you're here you're in the close friends but anyone can listen yeah exactly but it's a public episode and if you know me in real life don't listen oh god that goes without saying well thanks so much thank you so much everyone this has been so so so stunning as usual oh don't make me cry okay well thanks so much thank you so much everyone this has been so so so stunning as usual oh don't make me cry okay well thanks guys i can't i can't be too sensitive well yeah yeah let's um right well if you don't hear from us what a turn to take if it's true if you don't hear from us assume the worst