Goes Without Saying - this doesn't go without saying #5

Episode Date: February 7, 2022

how “cHaOtiC” is too chaotic? the line is buried deep somewhere in the hysterics of this episode. sephy & wing discuss everything from mental health and university to scientology and tier-ranking snacks… don’t say you weren’t warned.join the conversation every monday.come and chat in our book club!speak your mind on the @sephyandwing instagram!you’re invited to our discord group chat: https://discord.gg/zuPH7gyeGp Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay?

So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com It goes without saying that you're listening to an episode of This Doesn't Go Without Saying. Nice! It's a bit of an insane intro we've given ourselves that one. Just what? This episode I think is extremely weird. You asked us questions, we're giving a lot of unsolicited advice. Well that makes it solicited right? I guess it was solicited. Yeah. We're giving a lot of solicited advice. You literally asked for this. Yeah on all different

topics. I can't even remember what there are now uni advice which everyone always wants to know about crisp flavors we went into um which may not hook you um totally understandable if you want to turn it off now totally understand i think there are some real good little bits in here and i mean we had a good time so i hope you do too okay fucking hell let's try this again it's funny because on the last take i was like thank ah thank god it feels so good to be recording and now it's just like yeah start from scratch start from scratch we got 10 minutes in and then we had a bit of an altercation almost about Scientology which ended in me being like I just want a nice and normal podcast let's go so when when was it ever a nice and normal podcast what a strange thing to ask for oh god okay funny that we got a bit like there was a bit of tension over Elizabeth Moss being

a Scientologist now I don't want to talk about it again no we're not going but it was basically me being like i'm not i didn't want to i didn't want to say anything that was upsetting sephie but she wasn't getting upset no no i didn't want to say anything and then she thought i was getting upset at upsetting her about being upset no no i just didn't want to say anything that upset you about elizabeth moss being a scientist no never i could never it could never upset want to say anything that upset you about Elizabeth Moss being a Scientologist. No, never. It could never. It could never upset me. No, you could never upset me about Elizabeth Moss being a Scientologist either.

Anyway. So new start. Fresh start. Before the Scientology talk started, you were making a really good point. So do you want to... Yeah. Rewind. Yeah, rewind it back. Freeze frame, but you're wondering how I got in this situation.

Okay. Question that's been lurking around the internet i think for a few months and if you haven't heard it it's about to blow your mind it blew mine um it's just a really fun little question and the crux of it is kind of you can you can switch it out make it relevant to you if it's not relevant to you in the way that i'm gonna tell it which is just the basic like kind of way. Very reductive. The question that was posed to me was, for the rest of your life, you are not in control of any decision made for you, what you eat, what you wear, who you date, what you end up doing with your life, career, children, anything, where you live, etc. You've got the choice of two people

who are going to be in control of every decision made for you ever every decision all control would you rather it be your mum or your dad it is fascinating it's good isn't it or two caregivers at all any it can be anyone doesn't have to be heteronormative or just whatever you've got whatever you've got whatever you've got lying around exactly grandma auntie but it's interesting because it tells you so much about the relationship with someone's parents. Not only what the perception that they have of their parents, but the perception that they think that their parents have of them. The way that, you know, are their decisions, what are their decisions being made out of?

Are they going to priorit prioritize doing something to give you the life that they think you deserve to have are they going to prioritize doing whatever they think you would want to do and to make you happy there's so much that it reveals or like calls into question i think it's so interesting it's such a good question dump it in your group chat somewhere and discuss it's so good i think it's because there's a few things that come into play there as you said it's like do i trust their ability because there's a few things that come into play there as you said it's like do I trust their ability to make decisions for me what is their perception of me I think one of the main things that comes into my weighing up of my two choices is what are their

motivations for decision making yeah do I trust their motivations like not only do they see me is there an overlap in the way i see myself and the way they see me and would we want the same things for me but also would they be motivated by like love or fear or ego or what's the motivation here because i only regardless of what my life will actually look like at the end of all their decision making if it's motivated by love i'm not mad at it but if i could see if i'm kind of weird robot going through life and i can see someone making decisions out of ego i'm annoyed i'm like well i don't even you don't even really want this like what i'm living a fake life but if

i can see that it's come out of one of my parents love for me it's almost like oh i can't be that annoyed even if it doesn't even look really exactly how I'd want it for some reason um I'm running an amateur dramatic society which is what I kind of think my mum would choose for me which I don't want I'm not really mad because it's like okay this is what you have really tried your hardest to think what I would like and what would be good for me but what does scare me is who I'd be dating because I do not trust either of them to choose that well yeah I think that's a big thing for I think that's a crux for a lot of people is that who you're dating yeah it's a lot isn't it it's just I can picture it

now it's just like they'd both choose the same kind of smelly hippie it does sound quite nice no i can see him it will be i i know i know all vibes of him they would both choose the exact same person that's so funny and i don't like the look of him or the smell of him and you don't like him such an interesting question right because i also thought it was interesting to ask like your sister for example exactly because i think it's interesting like amongst siblings like who would say what because you've obviously got different relationships yeah etc etc i think we'd say the same but it won't be disclosed here leave them both guessing jokes as if they would ever listen strict ban how would that change how would that change you if your parents started listening

oh my god well there have been some that i my mum listened to the first one that i was like you when we first ever recorded an episode like in brighton me and you sat at a table i was like you've got to listen it's so funny we amazing. Because obviously it was just like two random little kids and I thought we were hilarious. But now it's actually, you know, a bit of a thing. Debatable, but a bit of a thing. Shitty little thing. God, she couldn't listen.

No. And I heard her once on the phone. She's got like a bit of a script that she says to people. A line. Like me saying to my nan, it's like a radio show, but like not good. Oh my God. Also, I tried to explain to my grandma what it was the other show but like not good oh my god also i tried to explain to my grandma what it was the other day and what did you say oh my god well she was like i was like

do you know what a podcast is and she was like well it's kind of like an advertisement and i'm like yeah kind of she thinks i run an advertisement that's really sweet i know that's really nice i was like yeah kind of like not at all but yeah honestly like that grasp of the internet just seems so blissful doesn't it yeah yeah really nice really nice yeah go on your mum's got a little line but yeah my mum has a line that when whenever people ask her oh so do you listen so i've heard her on the phone a few times like so the person has clearly said like so do you listen and she always says i listened to the first one but now it just feels like eavesdropping she always says it feels like eavesdropping

that's like her line that she says almost to get to like no questions asked like no it feels like eavesdropping i think it is a bit like eavesdropping though i agree because i get that with people it's almost like you either have to be a listener and it's like you're in on the friendship and it's us three so it's sephie me and you listening yeah but it's almost like if you're coming in not as our friend basically it's friend or foe coming in with different intentions or like a different awareness or you're not coming in as to meet this meet in this life as equals if you're coming in in a weird way do you know what i mean yeah i think it's if you're coming with um a set perception and by set perception i mean that you know us in our personal lives i think it's just jarring to listen to if you know us i don't know how there are people who know me or have known me and listen i'm like i must be driving you

fucking mental yeah i can only apologize turn me off turn me off now i demand it it's my human right you how how do you cope how do you cope yeah it's so yeah i find that so interesting but one of my best friends like really listens i'm like it's weird because she doesn't know you she's not friends with you so that must be i always think that must be really weird because you're hearing but i think that waters it down i think it waters it down personally how so what do you mean just because i think i have the same thing where like my friends would listen and then i think well it must i must be less unbearable because you're in it too and they don't know you so it's like it's more i think the combo of us makes us more unbearable because you're not just

hearing me you're here you're hearing you which is why i was like you're not just hearing me on my own ranting on my own podcast it's like you're hearing a very specific side of me a dynamic yeah you're hearing a very specific dynamic that doesn't happen anywhere else on the planet for me yeah do you know i mean you're hearing my weakest moments you're hearing the most embarrassing side you're hearing my shadow self my tethered loud and proud yeah you're hearing literally the worst part of me yeah i agree i think it's really weird i mean the idea of people listening from life is fucking strange but it does happen that's what's scary anyway yeah apparently apparently people have

heard this podcast once or twice shall we start off with just a nice chat yeah i'd love to start off with a nice chat um how are you um i'm just fine today like there's no emotion behind these eyes i've got deja vu because in the previous take that we had to scrap sephi said how are you and i said i'm frustrated because i just can't find the perfect word to sum up how i feel like i feel kind of bad i feel kind of good like i just feel weird and it's pissing me off and then i said how are you and she said i'm fine i said i feel like you're rubbing in my face but you have the most perfect word to sum up how you feel just fine fine yeah i'm glad you're fine well so you're not fine though you're you're fine but you're not you're a mix of things it's always sounds like i've got a gun to my head well you didn't kind of put a gun to my head and say i want a nice

normal show because she kept being really nice she kept being like bless you i feel bad you kept being like we don't have to record like we can save it we do another time and i was like no we have to do it now i was like i'm fine i am fine i'm fine i'm fine i don't know why my voice is going so high i'm fine because i just feel like if we don't get it done it just pisses me off you know when it's like you set out to do something then you can't do it you can't fulfill the task it just fucking pisses me off and then your energy is weird all day yeah i'm just thrown all day i used to have that so much at uni when i would be like anxious for a seminar and then i wouldn't go to the seminar and then for the rest of the day i feel sick because i never got through the adrenaline it's like you just sit on the adrenaline all day okay can we you've actually pulled us onto

the first question a lot of people have been asking how do i get through my last year of uni how do i get through uni like kicking people are using like the exact same phrases which i almost thought do you guys know each other is this some sort of cult is some sort of scientology thing we're being set up sorry to bring it up but like i would honestly love people are using the exact same phrase like how do i get through my x y and z year of uni how do i get through uni how do i get through education i don't know I don't know either I think you just blink and then you look back and think I did it I mean I struggled so much by the skin of our teeth I mean I got through with a lot of therapy I had absolutely crippling social

anxiety at uni but that's why I literally don't know I felt so fucking bad for at least the first two years of uni like I was so anxious going to seminars I was okay with the actual work but like going to seminars and actually having to speak oh my god I was sick every well most mornings but did that start straight away I remember being so nervous for it like before but I think it built up like it was almost an association built up my first ever seminar person who I called nasty Louis because he looked like a nasty version of Louis Theroux and he was particularly bad he was so bad so I think that then yeah bad introduction put so much fear into me that they'd all be like that so I think I went in scared but then just got terrified as the first year went on and then I was like right you have to go to therapy about this

so I don't I don't I don't know all i know is it got better the more i did it so by third year it wasn't as bad but although i did cry in quite a lot of meetings with my seminar teachers but by the end it was fine right what because it was over no no no like i that well i had therapy pretty consistently for like second year and like every now and then in third year so to the person who doesn't have therapy and they just have this podcast i mean good luck to you but what would you say do you know i mean like what was therapy giving you i think number one if if i could take one thing back that i had so much then it would be the the level of guilt that I

had for not being able to go was so extreme and I just almost think cut yourself some slack yeah in the do try and go but if you can't go like I would honestly be so filled with self self-hatred if I couldn't make it out of the door to go to a seminar and now when i look back and think god those were like extreme emotions like i would be throwing up like that is an extreme fucking thing from fear yeah like that's an extreme like mental health issue and i was almost like you fucking idiot you can't go you fucking stupid idiot why can't you you're wasting this opportunity but it's like jesus christ like just take the guilt off it i think that's one of the main things and also the more you do it the less scary it gets it really does

and just know that you're gonna yeah you're just gonna be okay you're just gonna it's it's fucking hard and you're gonna be okay yeah and and kind of like you're gonna turn up to the seminar and there'll be like three other people in there who would have had a similar experience i reckon yeah just be nice maybe probably more because i think also i was so i had this idea that everyone knew each other and i was completely isolated in that they were all friends and or something like that and i was just the weirdo showing up even though obviously no one knew each other yeah i just saw some people talking and i'd be like oh they all know each other on the outcast if you were in our book club i kind of thought i was the samantha nice for the niche amount of people that were in our book club yeah no that wasn't the reality and

i think i would almost go in with an attitude of such fear like kind of and not talk to anyone that i would just like perpetuate the thing of you would confirm that yeah self-fulfilling prophecy yeah it was so so horrific so i think just go in super kind and nice and um kind to yourself as well yeah oh my god i think that is the guilt is is the guilt that we make ourselves feel is actually like really bad mind-blowing yeah it's insane i think i was looking back on that recently of being like the yeah like the made it worse the failure i would feel every time that i couldn't go and it wasn't i thought it was like laziness i thought it was i'm not cut out for this like all of the stuff but it's like you literally have such bad social anxiety right now and i'd never really had that before so it was completely new and and it was just like if i could just take back that layer of just like complete shame around it it would have been fine but all like it would have just been what it is

but i honestly amped it up by like a million and made the stakes like for each seminar that was just like if you can go then you are the winner of the world and if you don't go yeah your worthiness rests on your ability to fulfill this task yeah and then even when you do go you still feel like shit because like god i felt like sick my stomach is in knots like i haven't been able to eat all day like just the worst times uni's weird isn't it it's so fucking weird but also the best time like it was so perfect as well which is the weirdest fucking thing it's so fucking weird but also the best time like it was so perfect as well which is the weirdest fucking thing it's so weird it's so so weird it's just funny because i think in that situation as well like for example i don't i really would find it hard to believe that anyone

in seffy seminars for example was looking at her thinking god that girl's really anxious but right and if they did they were thinking thank god someone here is as anxious as i am blah blah blah they might have like what are you laughing at because i remember this one moment and me and my sister were on the bus the other day and i told her this because she was like was it actually that bad at uni and i was like i nearly fainted like i my anxiety was so bad like in one thing this is one with nasty louis and he asked me a question and my vision went like i blacked out wow so you say no one would have noticed but i must have looked so insane like you know when like in a film like the walls close in on your vision you yeah oh my god i blacked out just from someone saying like

oh like persephone what did you think of the book what did you think of it my vision went like that is so extreme but what happened in like what happened what did you do did you reply i replied but i like it was the most stuttering mess like it was my whole fear was my voice shaking oh seffy god you're killing me i know it was so bad but imagine i couldn't even imagine that now being so nervous that my vision went i went blind i blinded myself i just want to save her i want to sweep in like the vision and pick you up and save you. I mean, I wish you could have. It was so insane.

I think I said like, I remember what I said. I thought it was good. I really liked it. I said something like, I said something like, I wouldn't want to live my life by that philosophy. Like, what does it mean? It's like, what book was it? Like mean it's like what book was it like it's like 1984 it's like the great gatsby like any book makes it funny yeah i wouldn't want to live my life by that philosophy but like i'm sweating like my eyes are blinking like i honestly had no vision oh god and then i once presented and he said slow down

persephone that's and i thought that was the most mortifying moment of my life that's a fucking cunty man he was a nasty louis really earned the name nasty louis yeah you don't get that name for nothing to the girl that you could see is blind with anxiety you're gonna tell her to slow down blind she's blind i love that you said take the guilt away. The crux is just like, don't make yourself feel worse than you're already going to be feeling in different ways. Like uni might be a great time for you,

but it could also be a great time full of really hard times. Yeah. And it's quite, I think the whirlwind of uni, it's like three or four years, you know, it's a few years depending on where you are, what you're doing. It's very intense, I think.

I think no matter who you ask, the crux, if I put out my first crux. I think it might be the second crux. I think you've already said crux. Maybe the second crux. Okay, I'm already on a roll. I think the crux is that it's a very intense time for everyone i think that's kind of hard to avoid and i think the next crux is that if you're already in an intense time don't make yourself bad feel bad make yourself feel even worse don't add a layer of guilt onto that totally there's a question that i feel like ties into this that i screenshotted and they said i'm 22 and i feel so lost sometimes i don't know what to do with my life and that

scares me yeah the idea that we should know what we're doing acas powers the world's best podcasts here's a show that we recommend point. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane

Kaplan-Levinson, and this is a Field Guide to Gay Animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com. By this point in our life, how do we reach, what, 27, let's say,

and already feel like we've failed at life? It's like we haven't even started. We haven't even started. You're 22, and you don't know what to do with your life, and you're scared. It's like you shouldn't know. I kind of feel like there's something amazing about being a bit lost at a young age at any fucking age well yeah i mean you're you're 22 and lost like isn't that kind of the point that's the

experience isn't that kind of the point of life yeah yeah i think literally not a soul not a soul that i've spoken to has like wouldn't relate to that experience you know i mean like every person every single person that i've ever spoken to recently about like how they feel and blah blah blah around a similar age is feeling that way like why would we not be feeling also add a pandemic into it yeah go on i dare you add that into the maths literally and work that one out how on earth are we gonna do that like i think we're in some it's a really weird um state of delusion that we've got ourselves in where we're thinking that we are the only ones lost like i think we're all really good at putting up a show and putting a front on but everyone is so fucking confused all the fucking time i think this is one

of the biggest lessons and i honestly think this is a lesson about moving from childhood into adulthood in the sense that we're now becoming the ages that our teachers were at school that our parents were when they had us and all of these things and the people around us when we were children were these ages right not 22 but like i had teachers at school that were 22 yeah people at my nursery when i was fucking seven weren't 22 and i viewed them and i'm sure we all viewed them as adults that we never even questioned whether they had their shit together because they are the adult authorities of life and i think now it's the weird transition between childhood and adulthood where it's like oh wait I'm becoming the age of the people that cared for me when I was a child I think it's

actually a bigger transition than I would think that it's almost like oh so now I'm realizing that they had no fucking clue what they were doing I'm kind of seeing everything in a slightly different light now it's completely true if you kind of if you think about the emphasis that we put on even like i mean anyone who's had a kid recently i personally haven't but anyone who's had a baby recently will know like the incremental differences the changes and the ways that we understand those changes that are happening to the baby every single day what phase they're in right now or the three to six months they'll be going through this in a few months time they might experience this and blah blah blah and if you think about the ways that we understand like the transition from or just the transition of puberty or from being a child into a teenager

and the way that we understand that with hormones and like such a formative time and personality forming and all of these things and confrontations come up the transition into or out of teenage and into adulthood is just as impactful isn't it a bit convenient or a bit suspicious that it's the one where they get to adults that suddenly no one's talking about it for a few reasons i think one because they're adults so they're not being cared for by adults anymore so there's no reason for an adult to be investigating the phase that another adult might be at because you're not caring for that person anymore in the same way and then also us as the adults are experiencing it in a world where we

don't talk openly about anything really so it just becomes it's just a given it's just a Florence given as we say I don't know if we can say that but we say it's a given it's just a given it's just a florence given as we say but we say it's a given it's a florence given it's a given in this world that you just shut up about things that's just you know you're feeling lost you just don't talk about it and your friends are feeling lost but you'll never know because they don't talk about it that's it i think it's the illusion i just feel like it's a fucking coincidence isn't it that like we talk about all of these transitions like i'm sure there's a lot of um writing out there and a lot of conversation going on about the transition into out of work and into retirement well there most of us probably don't know anything about it because we don't look for it because also but then you move back into a state of someone that needs care

the transition between of being a child and then sort of being an old person again you it's almost that you come this weird full cycle um full circle where it's like yeah you regress into someone that needs care again so then it's spoken about oh they're changing you're very aware of the incremental deterioration of them every single day shifts or like you you become so aware of like oh today they're doing better today they're doing worse today he ate his dinner you become so much aware oh they went for a walk oh no they can't walk today you become so aware of like oh today they're doing better today they're doing worse today he ate his dinner you become so much aware oh they went for a walk oh no they can't walk today you become so aware of all of this stuff and I do think you that's one of the only times in adulthood that you get given that kind of you're you're allowed to feel scared and lost and all of these things but anywhere in

the middle where you're supposed to be a functioning adult in society how dare you bring up how you're doing today how dare you bring up feeling lost yeah yeah yeah i agree i i just think it's these these shifts are always happening you're you're going through phases of your life and some of those phases are pretty universal in terms of like where your body is physically at and like we're going back to don't put guilt on it sorry that's just like my favorite thing but it's true it's it's don't um don't turn that into something that it really isn't i kind of had to romanticize it in my mind of you know what actually makes me feel really good and i've said this to you a million times sephi i know i don't think i've ever said it on the podcast but like the amount of conversations i've had with literally everyone everyone i've

ever met i feel like is feeling lost and just like they don't know what they're doing and blah blah blah and I feel like that all the time but something that I think switched in my mind was understanding like oh shit well like whatever I'm 20 I'm 24 and I don't know what I'm doing isn't that fun isn't that the fun of being 24 is am I not doing exactly what I should be doing and something that made me also feel really good was things like like old like um like friends or like sex in the city it's like got a bunch of women in there like 30s 40s 50s whatever are just chilling out running around new york with no clue what's going on and that's not just okay it's not just valid it's fucking cool it's celebrated exactly yeah

which is why obviously it's important to see different representations of lives in in the world in the media not just i mean obviously there's like a bunch of rich white women running around new york is hardly like not necessarily lacking in representation but we don't see women after the age of 30 in the media anyway but i just think it might not be such a bad thing it could be a fun thing it could be like the fun part of the story it's kind of like rewrite it in your mind it's just simple just quickly rewrite it no big deal that is so good no no that's so good I remember when you said that to me actually and I remember that being a bit of a like oh okay that hits if you realize that

you're going to be kind of a bit fearful and feeling a bit behind for pretty much the rest of your life. That's how society kind of functions in order for everyone to be overachieving and feeling like they're underachieving. That's kind of how you get a successful society. Yeah. So if you admit that that is how you're going to be encouraged to feel pretty much throughout your life. That everyone else is kind of racing ahead and somehow you need to kind of pull your finger out and get your shit together because everyone else is doing it and for some reason you haven't got this yet and you haven't got this yet you haven't achieved this or that blah blah blah in your 20s is pretty much one of the only times that's going to be

romanticized yeah and that's why i do think i completely agree that watching things like for example sex in the city i don't really know anything about it but i do think watching it does make you feel like okay i've got things to look forward to have i there's kim cattrall looking sexy as hell okay i've got things to look forward to because if you think the only representation of women over a certain age is as a wife or as some kind of boring nagging mother n Non-descript mother. Who's supposed to be 40, but is played by a 25-year-old actress.

So I'm completely unimpressed. It actually hurts, but yeah. It does. And there's nothing to look forward to, really. But actually, when you look at the media that is created, basically last night, my housemate was watching a show that I had never seen before. And I know my mum watched it,

but I don't even know really what her thoughts were. But have you ever seen Grace and Frankie? I've heard of it. Never seen it. I've seen bits and i've i know my mum watched it but i don't even know really what her thoughts were but have you ever seen grace and frankie i've heard of it never seen i've seen like bits and pieces but yeah i wasn't like hugely impressed to be honest the vibe of the show but like i um i like watched a bit whilst i was sitting there and i was like actually it is so nice to see such stunning older women yeah talking about like my friend was explaining the plot she was like okay so they're launching their own brand of vibrators for like older women and stuff i was like it is actually giving me shivers i know it's like a trivial show powerful yeah they are so fucking beautiful it's jane fonder and i can't remember the other yeah it's like they are so

beautiful just the the life in that like they were just so lively and all of this stuff it's like they are so beautiful just the the life in that like they were just so lively and all of this stuff it's like yeah okay so jane fonda if she hadn't been producing that show whatever she'd be playing a cameo of herself in something as sexy lady number one or she'd be playing the grandmother the glamorous grandmother but it's like no it's so funny actually you get to be the lead yeah you shouldn't be the lead by the standards here i thought actually for jane fonda and the other stunning woman who my god jane fonder is so cool so stunned i was just like god actually maybe you don't have to feel lost like forever maybe you can be in your 60s or 70s whatever on your 50s your 30s whatever and be feeling lost and just be like but that's my life

like i want this lost life i don't want um an ordered neat life i don't need to feel scared of like you don't need to have no direction and be fearful you can just be free yeah i think also like i do sometimes want a neat and ordered life but i also don't feel bad when i'm lost yeah do you know what i mean it's just whatever the situation wherever we're at yeah it's just how we take it because i also think this and it's just similarly like with friends and with sex and sitting with grace and frank or whatever it's there's something about not just like oh okay there's something to look forward to but also like yeah maybe i wouldn't want to be doing that but they are which shows me that it does exist and it's okay for them which must make it okay for me

do you know what i mean yeah totally it's almost like when you see someone else doing it it's like oh well all right fine puts things into perspective if you think like the the alternative is and i know the reality of the alternative is you're sat on your phone all day looking at the most stunning people you've ever seen in your life who are your age or younger doing seemingly more than you looking seemingly better than you completely perfect you've got no awareness of anyone not struggling do you get what i mean yeah no you know every that and that's the illusion that is the illusion that society thrives from and fucking internet thrives from if you feel like you are falling behind which is insane that the expectation versus reality is crazy when it's fucking sex in the city is is the reality more

of a reality yeah yeah than what you what else you're looking at that's insane i mean that is disgusting actually isn't it yeah like the real what we've got to hold on to is four of the most glamorous rich white women with like whatever 100 shoes in her closet it's insane and in this like rent control department i'm sorry it's not the reality and that's the hope that we've got scary isn't it well that's fun yeah hope that helps so there's this one i mean it's super trivial and you just said one that was about breakfast so i feel like it's in the same that this was off the podcast same realms we're discussing potentially doing one about breakfast but we could do this one literally just rank crisps it's what the girls want yeah i love that one just fun the rank gives me pressure i can't be ranking yeah same same same

okay worst is worst worst oh well you don't you said that was such conviction i'm so confused that you didn't have one lined up ready to go well i have so many but it's like worst is definitely um what's the worst what the hell well there's like a few different bad ones i think go on like any kind of like i don't want to make anyone feel bad no i don't feel bad any kind of like cheese and onion vibe is like my like worst i knew you were gonna say a cheese and onion vibe that's like my worst option but also like but are you not ever in the mood for like a cheese and onion i never you've never once enjoyed cheese and onion is that correct i just think it's not the flavor for me and it's the absolute

worst there's nothing worse well i don't know i don't know that's just coming to mind as like a not a good one in my mind okay but also like at the bottom could be any no no the fucking worst the worst of the worst the pits yeah the absolute pits of despair is like when it's like a weird um sort of like pork flavor have you seen that sort of thing where it's like a fancy crisp and it's like not i'm not talking bacon i saw one that was like fucking hell god ham it was like a ham flavored crisp this was supposed to be easy it was like what do you mean ham it was like a fancy you know what the word i don't like yeah and you're i know you definitely don't like it like if i don't like it you will not like it ham hock i've never heard that what the fuck is that ham hock am i gonna be sick when i find out

what it is you look really upset i don't know i don't know what it is but i used to love like i used to love like corned beef i used to love like so delish that is absolutely vile i know i'm really like not fussy which is why it's annoying that i'm vegan i'm like oh god i have to be so fucking god my morals are so fucking strong it's so annoying like oh how to be such a fucking savior i think the worst flavors yeah do you know what's a good flavor that's like a weird like this is this is gonna go somewhere a bit of a rogue but a good one yeah i feel like people could really strongly disagree and i would kind of disagree with this as well until i had them but they were in portugal you know how like like a European supermarket they just have bizarre flavors there was like a ketchup flavored crisp

oh ketchup's the best ketchup crisp yeah I've had them before no way yeah they're amazing I've never had ketchup yeah because it was just like eating chips and ketchup but crisps yeah I love a ketchup crisp you know what um you know what can we talk about why they're definitely big in the UK I don't know if these are big anywhere else but the hummus chips Chris loves love can we talk about how impossible it is to open the packet because I would always have them in the library when you're not supposed to eat and I would honestly like do I sit on them to burst the packet open like just quickly just get it over and done with they are so good though hummus chips i like i need a pair of scissors i need like a fucking i need a crowbar to get into these crisps they're so good they're in such like sacks yeah like they're huge bags almost but they're so good

well that's we often say actually when it comes to food we're about quantity over quality and actually i would love to ask you is there anything else in life that you think it's about like quality of a condo quantity over quality like for example men it's like i think it's more about the quality rather than 100 of men you don't want a lot of shitty scraps around you no no i definitely think most things in life are quality over quantity but food for some reason it's our motto that it's quantity over quality well i don't want a tiny little delicious dish i want a full spread of shit same same i want like a ton of disgusting shit we discovered that when we would do burger nights when it was

when in our weird phase for the last like months where it was just game of thrones times and when we lived in brighton together and it was just us two for some reason in the house we kind of turned the house into like a little diner everyone came back and it was like red leather chairs and tiled floor the photo of you that's still the photo id on my phone yeah it's a bad photo no one can ever see it do you not like it are you joking i think it's just great but like i get it if you don't like it as a photo it's you kind of stretching out pizza with your hands like dough like looking like nick jonas there's one photo we found of nick jonas so that makes no sense it's it's it's i'm holding pizza out as

if i'm making pasta like as if i'm in a picture of someone making pasta that's what it is but the pizza is really stretched but we found some sort of photo of nick jonas where he's got kind of a cigar in his mouth making pasta we thought we can recreate this and you've got a felt tip in your mouth and you're stretching out pizza dough because that's when we did pizza nights but we really discovered that we were both big time quantity over quality and boy did we live by it for those months i still do to be honest i still do yeah same and proudly and proudly yeah i don't know if there's anything else with pride what about like movies like films like would you rather like have a lot of shit on the go just like a lot of casual viewing or would you rather just have like one film that you watch and it's really good do

you know i mean i'd rather have one film that i watch that's good i think because even though i do watch um cash i would watch i mention every fucking time the office that is good that is the the creme de la creme of show like i'm not i'm not wanting hours and hours of um coronation street over two hours of watching the office straight whatever fair enough or like or a small or one episode of the office yeah or one movie i'm trying to think if there is something that's like that is it is anything coming to mind for you Would you rather have like a ton of like, like would you rather have holidays, like a ton of like vacations as in like loads of little like random ones

you didn't have the best time or like one. Mini breaks. Yeah, yeah. But the quality of them is bad. So you're staying in bad accommodation. But the quality of them just like isn't good or would you rather have like an amazing quality holiday? What is this conversation? I'd rather have an amazing quality holiday. What is this conversation?

I'd rather have an amazing quality holiday. Just one though. Just one and you never go on another one ever again. In my entire life. I'm kind of thinking. No, you can't bend the rules. Oh God, I didn't know it was one thing in my life, but the options aren't in one thing in your entire life.

Neither did I, but then you answered too easily and I thought, let's make this one in your entire life. No, I'll take the little shitties then. Well, how shit can they be? Because I'm going to need a break again. I'm going to need a break again after. I'm going to need a break. From this relentless life.

Yeah, and also you can make them good, I think. Would you rather have loads of shitty quality? Because I think this is kind of money puts a limit on it in the not cool our clothes shit but we probably do fall into the category of having more loads of shitty quality clothes than big pieces i was thinking clothes even though i much would prefer to have like big pieces as gokwan would call it a capsule wardrobe back in the day have you ever watched his show goks fashion fix capsule wardrobe is your thing now i know but i really picture goks fashion fix where there would be like 20 items here's a capsule wardrobe what would you rather then you would rather a lot or a little i'd rather a little no i'd rather i'd rather a little quality of a

smaller amount of good clothes but i think actually in practice i live by a big quantity of shit clothes that's fine just in the normal kind of 20 year old girl like 20 or 25 year old girl life yeah i don't i don't agree with that that's weird isn't it saying 20 year old girl and it's like oh shit 45 year old woman i'm actually an 80 year old man. I don't know. I had quite a fright the other day. I didn't tell you about it. I just kept it to myself. I didn't tell anyone. I just swallowed it down.

Oh, I also had a fright, but I'm going to have to tell you after. Oh, I can't wait to hear it. Sorry to interrupt your fright, but just know the fright. I was, no, no, please do. I'd rather not go into it. No, let's go. It wasn't that big of a fright. I was looking at my, I thought I was looking at the no, please do. I'd rather not go into it. No, let's go. It wasn't that big of a fright. I was looking at my,

I thought I was looking at the Cephean Wing followers, but I was looking at my personal account followers to see like the percentage of men and women and like the ages and stuff. Because ours used to be, do you remember? It was like, it's 86, like 96% female and all that. Remember that? Yeah.

Anyway, and I have quite a lot of men. I don't know what it is over the age of 71 or something oh 65 and things like that which i thought because it was like all the women are like you know teens 20s like 30s whatever yeah just like looking amazing like being cool and normal and amazing and the best people alive and then i clicked on men and it was like old men which is fine old men can be really great but it just threw me but not when they're following a fucking 24 20 year old girl it's just so weird i know go on what was your fright um well it's in a similar vein of creepy men but also it is going to take the tone right down to a fearful place it was just something

that i forgot to tell you that happened to me the tone right down to a fearful place oh it was just something that i forgot to tell you that happened to me the other day quite scary actually okay but it will take the tone right down so do we want to do it or we could go in with another crisp situation why don't we take the tone down we'll come back with the crisps after okay make a little crisp sandwich we'll come back with what's your favorite breakfast yeah so i was taking out the bins the other day nice such a good housemate such a good housemate but i actually thought i haven't done it in a while i should probably do it before this becomes a bit noticeable so i'd set up on the tv i was gonna watch the invisible man starring everyone's favorite scientologist and his part is clear

i kept going bring her up and i just set that up on the TV and I was like, okay, look, just take the bin out and then you'll be able to relax and watch The Invisible Man. And now I can relax.

Kill us faster. Yeah, go on. And then little did I know I would have the most scary experience so I was unable to relax

and watch a thing about a scary man. Although I did watch it in the end. I was like, okay, take the bin out but our bins are a bit weird.

You have to kind of take them like round into this like area where there's like a bin area we have the same thing do you it's quite weird isn't it because i remember having that in brighton oh no ours are just on the street is that the same for you well it has been in every other house but for some reason in this house you have to like carry your bin bag and put it in this like mass bin area what were you doing in brighton what do you mean in brighton in our second year house we had to take the bin so for example in third year we had the bin like a wheelie bin on the street yeah oh yeah we did so we did yeah we don't have we don't have a we don't have like a wheelie bin it's like a mass bin area yes yeah same here yeah god weren't

we lucky to have a wheelie bin i know we had a wheelie bin well i've had one every other year wow but then just not a thing here for some reason what are your bins like guys yeah what are your bins like honestly is this relatable content i think it is i've never i have never put that into perspective yeah go on would you rather have a lot of shit bins or one high quality premium wheelie bin the high quality premium bin every day because then you avoid absolute maniac situation like i just had you know what you need to do you need to make sure you take the guilt away from when you go and take your bin out take the shame out of carrying a dripping don't feel bad about it

because you're already going to be feeling bad you're already gaslighting yourself the way that you knew that society would gaslight you honestly what is this i'm so sorry um i was taking my dripping little bin bag out onto the street out into the bin area and i noticed it was just about to get dark it was like that weird time of day where it's like it's just it's twilight edward cullen's looking around you thought it was safe to go out at 3 p.m but it wasn't it wasn't no of course it wasn't i went around the corner into the bin area i could see the bins they're kind of in the corner and i started walking towards it and as i was walking towards i noticed there was a man there with his hood up and like a covid mask on okay i was like bit fucking weird to be hanging around the bins but whatever walk towards the bins realized he's loitering

but hagrid what were you doing in nocturne alley he's big time loitering he's got no bins in his hands he's loitering around he notices i'm walking towards bins but then i should have just turned back he's thinking bingo bingo here we go jackpot one man's trash it was actually scary not to call you trash sorry sorry no no no no no sorry i'm gonna get cancelled yeah go on i take this stuff very seriously i'm gonna get cancelled over if we get cancelled over this i will kick up a fuss i'll go down kicking and fucking screaming i'm gonna get cancelled over if we get cancelled over this i will kick up a fuss i'll go down kicking and fucking screaming i'm happy to be cancelled over many things

you have to drag me by my hair they won't take me for this i should have just turned back with the bin and gone back into the house god it was that extreme later it was weird yeah you would have gone back bin dripping well i did well the bin wasn't actually dripping put the bin later it was weird yeah you would have gone back been dripping well i did it well the bin wasn't actually dripping put the bin back in the you would have put the bin bag back in the bin well i would have just put it back like in the kitchen i was basically like i saw him gone back in hindsight i think i should have done that because he was giving weird vibes it's like this isn't an area you would hang out there's no reason to be there and also like hood up vibes kind of standing there like just weird vibes kick he was kicking like a glass broken bottle on the floor it was just just the vibe

so i should have gone back but i didn't i thought no go towards him i'm gone i started walking towards him and towards the bin through the bin in the bag realize okay he's following me out and you've just lost your greatest weapon bin juice lost my greatest weapon i didn't have my phone with me oh fucking hell seffy shit i know yeah so i was completely alone with the man in the bin area um and i realized he was kind of following me like he started and so i kind of sped up he sped up obviously um i managed to kind of time it really well turn the corner and quickly get into my house before he saw what house i lived in yeah i looked through the little peephole and he was on the street like looking around for me

which was so fucking scary like i could literally see him like looking around and how but he didn't know which house i went into so it was all good but i got in and i was like well i'm not really in the mood to watch the invisible man now about a film about a stalker um but that was my scary story so i hope i didn't bring anyone god down but space raiders hey space raiders what are your thoughts on quavers oh my god god well stay safe guys yeah stay safe if you're out and about listening stay safe take your phone with you um favorite breakfast favorite breakfast i do quite like a lot of breakfast so yeah give it give us a round like what if it's a fun day you've got some time what are you making for breakfast oh i'm making something oh well what what are you ordering breakfast i was no i pictured i was going out for breakfast i was going out for breakfast

okay you're going out for breakfast god i haven't been out for breakfast in so long that sounds so stunning that would be nice right that sounds stunning where would we go um well it depends on the vibe if we're in brighton i'm picturing um that weird um balcony almost if we're wanting a quite disgusting sausage and beans toast vibe i can picture us you know it's not called balcony anymore i know it's called like the rock and roll and cafe it's called kenny's rock and soul cafe i don't like that i don't like it's all brightly colored in this it's nice it's a good clout linda's vibe you know what you're getting but if we're going somewhere nice i'm gonna want pancakes yeah I went through a real...

Well, I just haven't had pancakes in a while. At the moment, I'm more into a savoury start of the day. I agree. I think it's winter. Maybe it is winter. Yeah, maybe you're right. Because I'm moving more into a more pancaking vibe at the moment. Well, show Tuesday coming up.

Get your Bibles out. Is it? It is biblical, isn't it? Yeah, of course it is. it is biblical isn't it yeah of course it is yeah not taking the piss you can cancel us for that i don't even know if i want that in there yeah i'll go down with that honestly she was canceled for not knowing what shrove tuesday didn't know the proper origins of pancake day i feel like we should go because i think we're talking shit now i think we should go yeah i think that're talking shit now. I think we should go, yeah. I think that's... I think you might be right.

When we start talking about Shrove Tuesday, I think it's time to leave. Well, it's... I can't... Honestly, I can't switch this fucking phone on without it popping up saying Shrove Tuesday. Oh, really? I just keep getting, like... I haven't got any reminders about it yet. Well, I haven't got a reminder necessarily, but it's...

I set all my alarms. No, I'm not getting getting reminders but it's just coming up i just keep seeing for some reason i don't know what are you gonna have on your pancake for shrove tuesday i haven't even thought about it what are you gonna have i just call it pancake day by the way i don't call it shrove tuesday so do i but on the calendar it says shrove tuesday like gravely serious isn't it shrove what is a shrove shrove oh yeah yeah right come on let's go what are you having in your pancake oh right i don't know i haven't thought about it what about you maybe beans oh god keep it on brand do you know what my favorite is my absolute

favorite is are you talking about a thick fluffy pancake are you talking about a thin oh i'm going thin a crepe style very biblical yeah i would have like a nutella nice with banana vibe yeah that's good i could do that right now honestly same same maybe i will or will the shroves get angry what is the show should i may as well wait right no shrove Tuesday is not till it's not till March I'm talking about shrove fucking Tuesday I've fully got my calendar out

right let's go we cannot be putting this out right bye everyone bye if you don't hear from us assume the worst